Meanwhile... Matthew McConaughey Is OK | Margarita Butt Funnel | Heinz Every Sauce

Meanwhile... Matthew McConaughey is recovering after a nasty bee sting to his face, unruly restaurant customers in Georgia tried to funnel a margarita in an inappropriate way, and Heinz wants you to try all their sauces mixed into one bottle.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile #Mayonnaise #MatthewMcConaughey #Margaritas
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and THE LATE SHOW band, the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

[@derekstein6193]

That "salt the rim" stinger was exceptional. Good job, writers!

[@mdouglas9060]

If you get a chance "to salt a rim" you take that chance.

[@positivevibetec]

Maybe but they sure dropped the ball on the McConaughey joke he never said ok ok ok he said all right all right all right

[@MalBishop18]

Definitely a good line, but The Scathing Atheist Podcast beat them to it by a couple days

[@AbramBailey]

Hippopotapult 😂

[@queenjustine66]

@@positivevibetec that was the joke.

[@gillesh.9405]

As a swiss living in Switzerland who used to watch as many episodes on the daily he could of the « steven colbert report », I was blessed enough to be in the audience of a Colbert recording during a 3 day trip to NY due to a technical error in their ticket booking system! Keep watching him to this day, such a great intelligent man

[@DCGreenZone]

His little vaccine episode should be scrubbed.

[@VerseauT-cm6tj]

You’re lucky to live in Switzerland! I used to go there often (helping with international organization conferences) and felt like I belonged there. So civilized, clean and organized! Bravo!

[@mayatara1980]

I am from Portugal, same about about watching Stewart and Colbert and also have the wish to one day be in the audience of either the Daily Show with Jon Stewart or Late Show with Colbert (ideally both 🤭) 🤩

[@robertgriffith9703]

Sounds Like if You Eat that New Heinz Sauce, You Are going to the Mayo Clinic!

[@Finkeldinken]

I know this joke was low hanging fruit, but dangit. It's good fruit.

[@artbargra]

@@Finkeldinken Not because a joke is obvious, it means it shouldn't be done.

[@tuckchesta6052]

Kudos, sir, well said! 👏 😆

[@GaryBGoodEnergy]

😂😂😂

[@ryanbauer3680]

Its all in your head man. You just have mayophobia!

[@ryshow9118]

In the words of the philosopher Nic Cage "NOT THE BEES!" Truly a creed to live by.

[@JZsBFF]

"EYE... BEE... SEE"

[@theemmjay5130]

First thing I thought of during that segment.

[@arcturionblade1077]

They're in my eyes, aaaaaaaah!!!

[@NewMessage]

"But.. Sir... it's as Mayo as we can.." "I said more MAYO!" -The darkest part of the Heinz test kitchens.

[@TahtahmesDiary]

The Mayo jokes thrill me as a millennial who consistently has the article Millennials Killed Mayo playing in my mind 😅

[@artbargra]

I can imagine the scene, with tremors, lights going off and on, lamps swinging, and the Heinz guy saying "What have we done?"

[@terimiller6814]

Put mayo on that cow bell!!!

[@jaredknapp8886]

Probably.

[@ryanbauer3680]

(Insert Kylo Ren More gif here)

[@somekatontheinternet]

“The indigent grizzle pit of news” - LMAO - (I needed that) -

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

I hope Matthew's McCon-Okay!

[@Grimmyke7]

Emmy award for the rim-joke please!

[@Jivolt]

“Salt the rim” had me literally LOL.

[@EinsteinsHair]

I swear he did that joke a couple of weeks ago. That's the second salted rim.

[@EinsteinsHair]

After thinking a while, it may have been someone in the comments that said it. Wait, are the writers getting their material from the comments?

[@xdecroix]

damn, the writers are on fire.

[@pennymitchell8523]

Lots of material

[@vladimirenlow4388]

Everyone's on fire in this heat.

[@NCbassfishing24]

And maybe coke

[@calumproctor981]

​@@NCbassfishing24This reminded me of a Bob Dylan story when a journalist was asked to come back later because Dylan was working. The journalist came back hours later and Dylan hadn't moved. "Christ, what is he on?", asked the journalist. "CBS Records", answered the manager, ushering him back to the door.

[@Oldjohn52]

"He forgot to salt the rim" is Peak Colbert.

[@yudithcaron8053]

At the same time, you do not want to imagine the pain of having salt and alcohol pushed into your rectum after someone "salted your rim".

[@MattSeremet]

It's the little finger motion that makes the salting of the rim joke extra exquisite.

[@joannmatthews4810]

HILARIOUS "The Ha-ha's after the "Uh-oh's".... And the Matthew McConagh bees segment had me laughing out loud alone!!!!

[@shawnhollywood3707]

America, 50 flavors of mayonnaise. 36 flavors of ice cream. 2 choices for President 😥

[@Jeanie1107]

What hell do we live in?

[@Channel--Ai]

31

[@sdgdhpmbp]

@@Jeanie1107 America

[@Jeanie1107]

@@sdgdhpmbp 😞

[@Earthneedsado-over177]

One choice for democracy.

[@USUG0]

missed calling it frogspreading

[@Shea3224]

“Margarearta!!” 😭🤣

[@alohathelion]

Okay, just wanted to say thank you "indigent grizzlepit of news" is top shelf

[@qing-jaohan8641]

The quote is FAMOUSLY "alright, alright, alright". You're killing me, Tiny.

[@jazzman1904]

It was an intentional play on the original quote to fit the current situation.

[@HanksterBee]

​@@jazzman1904 they should have gone with alright

[@jamiejfowler]

​@@jazzman1904 it would have fit perfectly

[@qing-jaohan8641]

No fans of Sandlot here, I see. Philistines...

[@leavingitblank9363]

@@qing-jaohan8641 Now I need to know the reference!

[@CraigMader]

It's "Alright, alright, alright!"

[@JamesKennedy33]

thatsthejoke.jpg

[@pangalactictuber]

I feel like the joke started out as “Alright, alright, alright” and then once they ran it, someone thought it was too predictable. For me in the audience, “ok, ok, ok” was a head scratcher (wasn’t his catch phrase something else?) and the pun of “alright” would have been funnier on its own.

[@HappyAmber]

@@pangalactictuberI don’t know, I think they messed it up🤔

[@annelibashore4807]

@@pangalactictuberMatthew borrowed that phrase from Jim Morrison! It is not his own catch phrase!

[@leavingitblank9363]

@@annelibashore4807 It wasn't a "catch phrase" until he made it one.

[@BnaBreaker]

Hold up... I need to know more about that 'hippos can fly' part...

[@WesleyFiles]

Airborne, so they're better at jumping than you'd expect.

[@oldauntzibby4395]

Stephen teases us with headlines (bees using tools, hippos going airborne) but then we're left hanging. I guess I need NPR's SciFri instead.

[@oldauntzibby4395]

I forgot the sauna curing the frogs. I need to know how to build one.

[@caspar9794]

@@oldauntzibby4395 The Australians use bricks with holes in them in green houses. The article with pics is in the Guardian.

[@clairen4584]

Climate change may help the frogs not croak?! 😜🐸

[@deanfranklin6870]

And in other news, when Justice Kavanaugh heard about the Margarita down under. He said "Hold my beer".

[@jameschan9634]

He was probably the one pouring. Or standing on the bar to get a bird's eye view.

[@deanfranklin6870]

@@jameschan9634 ROTFLMBO

[@joycetrembath499]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lisab9541]

I immediately thought of him. Great joke.

[@vickilawrence7207]

You know it!

[@Cancun771]

You had me at *Margarita Butt Funnel.* Cause that should trigger an _epic_ Louis Cato groan. Edit: Louis really held it together at the *Heinz Assisted Suisauce* though.

[@Desaved]

Now if they mix the spicy mayo with the Margareara, that's when you throw them out of the restaurant and call the National Guard!

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

Somebody call the Rear Admiral!

[@deborahcinkovich6965]

😂❤😅🎉

[@seaninness334]

You sound a bit like Jack Burton there. ": Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president."

[@dontioraul6946]

National guard?

[@DhaniNMarie]

90s kids: We want Heinz to bring back the green and purple ketchup Heinz: Sorry about that, maybe wait a few more years until we finally care! Literally nobody: We want Heinz to combine all their sauces and make the ultimate sauce Heinz: We can do that!

[@itsmeprasad1987]

Salt the rim!! No he didn’t

[@thesilentangel8299]

He did 😂😂 and I WHEEZED.

[@seaninness334]

And then took that exaggerated drink from his mug... with a very guilty smirk. Only he and Evie know the truth. 😉

[@Sjalabais]

That margarita incident was *made* for late night jokes.

[@kenbrown2808]

I've known for years that wasps can learn to recognize people - thanks to a young man who did an experiment in which he fed a hive of wasps, and as a result was defined by the hive as a waiter instead of a threat.

[@danitaharris9919]

What did he feed the wasp?

[@kenbrown2808]

@@danitaharris9919 various forms of meat. wasps are carnivorous.

[@danitaharris9919]

@@kenbrown2808 I did not know that. Thank you for letting me know.

[@kenbrown2808]

@@danitaharris9919 and now you know why they hang out at picnics.

[@firbolg]

I used to spend my afternoons reading while sitting between my father's beehives because it was the only way my hyperactive cousin would leave me alone. I'm highly allergic to bee venom but they never bit me but I didn't expect them to actually know me.

[@Mondoblasto0]

Can bees actually bite us? Not that I'm gonna test that, but I do wonder if that would hurt.

[@firbolg]

@@Mondoblasto0 LOL! You're right! I meant sting not bite although now I'm curious too.

[@Shea3224]

Matthew McConaughey is 🥵!! 💜 Stephen: “I hope he’s Okay, Okay, Okay.” 😭🤣

[@trishsuchy]

“Indigent grizzle pit of news” actually = Fox 😆

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Unlike Frog in Spa, Frog in Sauna is not a Boiling Frog scenario.

[@mauricemitchell4053]

OMG…that was an amazing introduction! Salt the rim…😂😂😂😂

[@masondegaulle5731]

Love Colbert's acknowledgement of how lowbrow the bees bit was. 👌

[@patriciaschilling6290]

Bottoms up! 😂🤣 meanwhile is my favorite.

[@brandilking]

That finger gesture while “salting the rim” …. 😳😬🤣

[@peggykell]

Should have been "alright, alright, alright"

[@terimiller6814]

How about "alright alright it's air tight"?

[@metubecm]

THANKYOU!!! I nearly typed a comment! .....wait this isn't where I parked my car?.... ... and it's "Allriiight allriiiight alllllriiighhhttt." (being stoned helps;)

[@derekd1510]

"Meanwhile... Matthew McConaughey Is alright, alright, alright" would have been to long for the thumbnail, I guess. Would have been epic though.

[@OctoganicAngel]

That’s the joke 😉

[@barbmiller1407]

That was the joke!

[@NewMessage]

When a bee tells you not to Bogart.. you don't Bogart.

[@joycedavis9996]

😉

[@Monstah7]

I was a lil worried that there wouldn't be a "salt the rim" joke, but that was home run!!..👍💥💯🤘

[@user-hi7nx8it3t]

It is all right, all right, all right

[@markloveless1001]

What? No Heinz 57 sauce?! This is an outrage!

[@Alex-js5lg]

Glad to hear he'll be alright, alright, alright. Edit: I wrote this before I watched the clip.

[@chrisrj9871]

I'm just wondering about OutKast, and if they're doing alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright

[@Winteramen]

I'm calling conspiracy

[@bryanbrooks1909]

Anyone up for brunch? Butt chugging a margaritas 😂 is the new thing 😝.

[@witchypoorose5196]

But ALWAYS remember to salt the rim. 😉

[@dixiedawnmillergoode6850]

How many attempts will happen just because of this episode?

[@terimiller6814]

LOL thanks, but no thanks 😂

[@ouishelly]

I didn't know MayoMust actually existed. It lives in my mind as a Mr. Show sketch. I've wasted my life away spreading mustard and mayonnaise from two separate jars.

[@derekstein6193]

The Air Bud series of films would've been FAR different if they used a hippo instead of a dog.

[@lawrencef4356]

Heinz left overs sauces in a bottle ..hmmmm NOT YUM YUCK !

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

The quote is "Alright alright alright."

[@socaliguy81]

Seriously, how did they screw that up?

[@trainingxtrish]

They know that

[@TheGreatAtario]

"That's the joke." -Rainier Wolfcastle

[@courtney-ray]

@@TheGreatAtarioI can’t to say: THAT’S THE JOKE too

[@SheyD78]

Some jokes practically write themselves, but the delivery is key. Well played.

[@ralph4233]

The rim wasn't salted cuz it had creme de cacao from a previous drink

[@cogboy302]

"Bottom's up."

[@mffmoniz2948]

Hello from Portugal and a thank you for mentioning "cozido das furnas" from Azores.

[@TerriJansma-dn8go]

The jokes related to the margarita butt joke were the best! Fantastic writing!

[@alexandergames9164]

weres Aubrey Plaza when you need her, thats a MargaWrong

[@pauloandrade9094]

Ohh my god. Steven just mentioned the Azores. The Islands where I was born.

[@mffmoniz2948]

Viva os Açores!

[@coveredincoffee]

That town in Georgia is 1 hour, 5 minutes from the Florida welcome center, but in spirit it's already there.

[@lazyperfectionist1]

4:53 🤔Kind of looks like Heinz was just tryin' to clean out a fridge, somewhere.

[@GrimJerr]

4:42 Or the stuff we got when we finally cleaned out all the storage vats.

[@helenpatterson3858]

Yep, that's the first thing that came to my mind.

[@holdmybeers]

Hippopotapult😂

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

I wish they'd explained the phrase "airborne for substantial periods" just a bit further.🤔

[@johnathanmartin1504]

@@FurtiveSkeptical I would think they meant "Hippos can jump higher than we thought they could and we think that's weird".

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

@@johnathanmartin1504 well yes, that seems obvious in what they said, but it left the burning questions "To what degree?" and "Examples?"

[@oakfat5178]

@@FurtiveSkeptical It depends how high the aeroplane is at the point of disembarkation.

[@oakfat5178]

Is David Copperfield involved? After all, he made the Statue of Liberty disappear

[@dan-jacobenglish1559]

I almost spat my rum and coke with the salted rim comment

[@user-sg6sv9oi6i]

@dan-jacobenglish1559 - 😂🤣

[@heartofdawn2341]

I'll just have to avoid being in a self-driving car altogether, then

[@mikatu]

Azores cozido representing!!!

[@mffmoniz2948]

Viva o cozido!

[@chequereturned]

For context, the 'Miss Merkel' show is jokingly referring to Agatha Christie's second most famous detective, Miss Marple

[@GaudyMarko]

a restaurant apologizing for the actions of a customer, is the epitome of the customer service industry

[@mcerruti77]

Love the Azores references.

[@davegonzalez2140]

Missed opportunity for the man pouring the margarita to be Brett Kavanaugh!

[@veryberry39]

I know it's the wrong type of booze, but he missed out on calling it the Kavanaugh.

[@JZsBFF]

"It's good to have another eye. It's sad to need another eye." - Denton Van Zan, Reign Of Fire (2002),

[@RelentlessOhiox]

So literally that woman butt chugged a Margarita like Steve O did in Jackass with a beer? Where? How? No one said anything? I have so many questions.

[@Taliatekito]

I don’t know what I’m going to do when Colbert decides to retire. Savoring each episode.

[@mammawlee]

😐I didn't need to think about that.

[@chezmoi42]

Bees do math? Someone's discovered Ze Frank's True Facts! (Bees also love balls...)

[@BrianOSheaPlus]

Don't worry, McConaughey will be alright, alright, alright.

[@orhanamin1347]

Or Ok, Ok, Ok!!

[@user-ev6xm8vo9n]

No,Stephen~~ it’s,”Alright Alright Alright!!!” Or~~was that the joke,saying,”Ok?”?

[@StevenTorrey]

Or "Bouf to youff!"

[@user-yz6ej2qq2k]

I'm sitting at my desk laughing out loud at Meanwhile! Quality comedy guys

[@SizzleMoonSong]

"Must be nice to get paid to watch The Late Show" ~ your boss

[@elizabethbasheer7929]

Why was the punchline not "alright alright alright "?

[@jjetfire]

Yeah, someone goofed. Too many margareartas.

[@TwisterWizzleNineThousand]

This was one of the best "Meanwhile" segments in Colbert's collective history. Right up there with some classic Johnny Carson.

[@ericpowers6509]

Who ever writes the beginning of meanwhile has the best colorful vocabulary I've ever head. Simply wonderful. I love it. Give the guy a raise.

[@hellsontube]

Cozido á portuguesa is in the😅 Late show , meanwhile niceee. Hello from the azores

[@mffmoniz2948]

Olá de Portugal aos açorianos emigrados nos EUA.

[@maacpiash]

Meanwhile starts at 2:07

[@UseByDate-Expired]

Every time I hear "meanwhile", I remember Don Pardo, R.I.P. Don.

[@gericummings6122]

The "Ha ha's", after the " Oh ohs" ....

[@NewMessage]

I was sure the second part of that title related to the first part.

[@cpt.ahab_it7044]

Google project 2025, the nightmare that happens if trump wins.

[@user-sg6sv9oi6i]

cpt.ahab_it7044 - True.

[@QUICKBOOKS1]

Marga- Rear-Ta????? That, and Bottoms Up were amazing work.

[@suzivigeant2213]

The margarearita section was hysterical!!

[@ivoferin8176]

cozido das Furnas!!!! WOOOOOOT!!!!! 8^)

[@mffmoniz2948]

Viva!

[@mrthingy9072]

Two blonds are talking, one says "Let's go outside and enjoy the sunshine!" Second one says "No, I'm scared." First one says "What are you scared of?", second one says "I'm scared of bees!" First one says "Oh honey, I'm afraid of the whole alphabet but it doesn't stop me from going outside!"

[@Shmuk-bn7ef]

First one's name is Marjorie and she is from Georgia 💪

[@vickybryan25]

Wait one sec, did we skip over why hippos become airborne?

[@babzcovington492]

we use the meanwhile opening as homeschool vocabulary for the day . thank you

[@TahtahmesDiary]

The bartender was ARRESTED?!? Honestly, given the crap we put up with, him following this request is Employee of the Month material 😅

[@kstepko]

“The ‘ho ho’s after the ‘oh oh’s” was RIGHT THERE.

[@frankhuizar9171]

Missed opportunity to say, I hope he’s, alright alright alright.

[@RogerGoodeNH]

SALT THE RIM! 😅😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@napalmholocaust9093]

The bees stung him because he betrayed his hometown to protect criminals.

[@pollyjazz]

Shout out to the panela full of Azorean Cozido das Furnas! Slow cooked buried in the ground. The best stew in the world! Beijinhos 😊 💕😘

[@mffmoniz2948]

It's on my wish list. O cozido normal já é bom, cozido a lenha é melhor, cozido no próprio calor da terra deve ser outra maravilha.

[@sophierobinson2738]

I’m going to have to try Heinz’s Assisted Suisauce.

[@tarablaney]

The intro about Monday, hits different after the events of Saturday...

[@SpaceForceCommander]

2:07 To skip Meanwhile preamble

[@EwokPanda]

Why in the world didn't they connect the two pieces of news related to bees?

[@LincolnDWard]

huh? They absolutely did a callback on the second one...

[@mykki.d]

This segment reminds me of being a tween and our Social Studies teacher asking us each to bring in an article of a “current event”

[@ngrader]

"Laverne & Himmler" ... [crickets] ... What? Too soon?