Meeting the birth mother

[@UnplannedPodcast]

Watch EP 9 here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ipSmhaaubdahlc0

[@chandamansfield47]

I was the birth mother. It was a special day meeting the family who would take my son and raise him. We still keep in touch and it's been 24 years. Bless yall

[@debfox]

I love that! So many do open adoption but then the adoptive family flips the script and doesn’t let them see them. 😢

[@prissi1237]

Wow! That’s wonderful to hear! What a great gift to your son in so many ways! ❤❤❤

[@lilleoelle]

I am a birth mother too with an open adoption. I am lucky to be included like family by my daughters adoptive parents, and my family has gotten to stay a part of her life as well. I get to see my daughter multiple times a month, get to do holidays with them, go to her swim lessons ect. My daughter is 6 now and got to be a flower girl in my wedding last year and is going to be a flower girl in my sisters wedding too! Which is so special! I am so grateful for her adoptive parents the life they have given her, letting me be a big part of it, and all the love and support they have shown me too. My daughter has even more family now and extra people that love her! Would really encourage anyone interested in adoption look into open adoption! ❤

[@aliciajones8302]

Another birth mama here!! So grateful for beautiful relationships on both sides.

[@prissi1237]

@@lilleoelle wow, this was so heart warming to read. You are all an amazing group of people and I’m so happy you found each other to take this wonderful journey with. She is one lucky little girl ❤️

[@AyeYoTay]

That's just sweet.. wow you can tell that Bella and Dallin are wholesome people

[@aliciajones8302]

From a birth mom, you have no idea how important and special it is to be speaking so highly of her. For your future child, for you and for her. My sons adoptive mother and I have a beautiful relationship because of the same respect and love you are showing your future birth mother. Cannot applaud you enough. Congratulations!! 💕

[@melodienicholson3482]

Agree 💯💕

[@SH-zr4om]

Crazy story for you guys: I had friends who tried for 8 years. EIGHT! Month in/month out. 96 failed cycles. Devastation. They moved ahead and adopted an infant and found out they were pregnant a month later. (Their doctor said this was much more common than you’d think.) They’re now raising two little rambunctious boys who are less than a year apart AND three more successful pregnancies followed. For whatever reason, opening their hearts to their adopted baby boy also somehow opened her womb. May God bless your growing family with health, happiness and more joy than you could ever imagine!!

[@mael2039]

I know two people this happened to. One friend said she thinks it's because when they gave up on getting pregnant, after multiple IVF attempts and years of trying, that stress fell off her and her body wasn't in that terrible stress and pressure of wanting it so badly anymore. They have beautiful adopted children and beautiful birth children now. I also heard it's more common than you think, but I definitely think it's still rare.

[@Amber_Exander_LunaRaine]

The same thing happened to my cousin!! They tried for 10 years adopted 2 months later and found out they were pregnant.

[@josephinenoh]

i was also a birth mother, i love the people who adopted my baby and i feel like they also love me too. its so nice to hear people say positive things about the birth mother being a special person for your whole life and not just up until the baby is yours.

[@jmev.4732]

I was a birth mother. We have been friends for over 21 years. My daughter is a bright beautiful person with many people who love her.

[@hidbee]

I’ve been personally affected in the most beautiful way by a 15 year old who gave her baby boy life and thus made MY life better because of it. Thank you for this acknowledgement of ALL moms, birth moms especially.

[@melodienicholson3482]

Absolutely 💞 as a birth mother this is so sweet their talking so highly of her and give Much respect.

[@ella1509]

i 100% agree with this my little cousin was adopted and his now mom and dad prioritized the birth mother so much and made her feel welcomed and let the mother know she will always be his mother although he is not with her and she did the same to us❤️❤️❤️

[@marniballet]

So special ❤ this was such a wholesome and humbling conversation

[@jeanmariereed1646]

Such a beautiful and giving couple! They have such kind hearts.

[@mythreemalinois1018]

This is beautiful! We are also pursuing adoption and pray for our birth mother every day! She is a true hero! This attitude is what all adoptive parents need because it will help raise your child knowing they were not unwanted or unloved by their birth mother. I can't wait to meet our birth mother, and I'm praying for you guys on your adoption journey too!

[@clarasteinruck7152]

Many people adopt hoping to fulfill their own needs it’s important to realize that as they get older it switches and the most important thing is to meet the child’s needs emotionally, physically etc. children always struggle with the fact that they were unwanted by their birth parents and no matter how valuable they are to the adopted parents, that hurt and pain and betrayal remains in their lives.

[@anaviveri]

I think the moment they adopt she will get pregnant and expand the family! ❤❤

[@alycran]

Happened to my grandparents with my dad!

[@laurianemlk]

That's also what I've been thinking! That would be so special omg 😢🥺🥰❤️

[@briannaschmidt864]

I was adopted at six months old and my parents told my birth mother that even though they (adoptive parents) would be my parents, they still wanted me to have a relationship with her. Nineteen years later, I’m still seeing my bio family and have a good relationship with my bio mom and her other three children (one of whom was also adopted by our bio uncle) It’s a unique experience that not everyone can or will have with their birth mothers, but it does help clear the questions of “why did she want me!” “Why wasn’t I good enough?” Congrats Bella and Dallin! I’m so happy for you guys!

[@trailer_trash_Barbie]

You are good enough though

[@amandawaliser2821]

I texted with bm for pretty much everyday for 5 months, was in OR with her, stayed in hospital room with bm, visited with her after we left hospital, and now see each other yearly at daughters bday. Its amazing!

[@lindsaylabella5274]

And a very special person to that baby. Please please please don't forget that. Coming from someone who was adopted. I know they are gonna be amazing parents though ❤ I'm very happy for them.

[@elliemaemilkyway]

I’m adopted and this is so true! my birth mother is another figure in my life that i can trust and get advice from. i’m able to see her and love her and she’s able to watch me grow up💕

[@steffistecher2401]

bella and dallin, you seem soo strong und loving even in this hard journey you ve been on ❤️

[@kristenkaz3080]

Thank you for honoring this woman who’s sacrificing so much for you both. I pray that all goes well for a safe, happy & healthy delivery. Keep us updated!

[@annatrumbo6891]

The respect y’all have is astounding. So wholesome and full of love

[@XxSuicidalNinjaxX]

One of the most important relationships in my life to me is my sons mother. Of course my son as well but it kind of snuck up on me how bonded I feel to her. The best thing you can do for her is not treat her like a threat and like another part of your family. Because she is your child’s family and through them she is also your family. ❤ it doesn’t have to be so clinical and sterile. You truly can become one big happy family(at her pace, not yours) and that is how you have an adoptee-centered adoption.

[@kaylynhewell8046]

As a kiddo that was from a closed adoption I found it refreshing that my parents prayed for her all throughout my childhood with me. I didn't know how much that taught me until I became a parent. Now, I am more than grown with 2 adult boys and and 2 younger boys and never found her or her family. I still pray for her, her family, and two half siblings I never got to meet. The story was her family wanted to adopt me back into the family (her mother and aunt). She said no. Through my grandmother working at the bank found she found our family. No one in my family ever met her but we are all forever grateful for her decisiveness. Annette Hunter where ever you are, here on this earth or in the next, thank you for giving me the best family ever. God Bless you for everything you don't even k ow you did for me. I will always love you.

[@andreabennerakaandi9256]

I’ve seen a lot of people do like bracelets or something that you have for the baby, the birth mother and the adoptive parents as a gift.

[@carolynturk7368]

Above all Bella and Dallin talk about being grateful, their hearts are so pure and loving!

[@ryleigh3847]

It's so special!❤ I have a friend who was adopted and she is such a blessing to me in my life! I'm so excited for both y'all's journies

[@natalieakathecoolestgirlev5416]

My mom gave her baby up for adoption. I was around six/seven years old. My grandma had custody of me. My parents were struggling with substance abuse. It’s been around eleven years and my Mom still cries. That baby ended up her being her only son and she gave birth to two more girls a few years later. I always tell my Mom, “you gave a couple the most precious gift anyone could ever receive, the gift of being a parent.”

[@fairholmka]

I love that! It's definitely worth trying to include that person in your lives as long as it makes sense and so important to appreciate the time love and sacrifice she put into getting that baby to you. ❤

[@user-ip6wr8in7k]

I can’t even watch this after the scam, I am always praying for Bella and her hubby, it’s just heartbreaking

[@Cog93]

I had my oldest daughter when I was 15. She was adopted by some of my friends, who I now consider family. Having the bond of family between us has been priceless. We love talking on the phone, keeping in touch on social media, and planning trips to see each other. My daughter is now 13 years old. I also love the way that the family has made it a point to try and keep me involved as much as possible.

[@debbiehill254]

Such a beautiful way of realizing the birth mother is the most important part of being able to become a mom and day. Awesome couple and such a blessed baby

[@Carleeeemay]

Cant wait for both yalls journeys! Yalls with the pregnancy and theirs with adoption! ❤ Sending loads of prayers! Love yall!! ❤

[@kristenlawrence4177]

Adoption is beautiful❤️I was adopted and I also am a birth mother….most difficult decision of my life but he was/is so incredibly loved and was able to have an amazing life that I was not able to give him at a young age❤

[@Panda-eq7ex]

As an adoptee and have my masters of social work and worked in adoption and foster care and knowing my birth mom, I can tell you having them present until the child is an adult (18) is not always a good idea , at all. It’s merky no matter how amazing they are

[@littleway24601]

I always view birth mothers to be some of the most heroic people in our time. In a culture that tells them that they could very easily just end the life of their unborn baby and have the problem “disappear”, they sacrificed so much to give their child a good life.

[@alycran]

I agree❤

[@gymnasticsgirlie0647]

Please keep her in your life once the baby is born (i.e have an open adoption). Too often adoptive parents rip their child away from where they come from; their birth family, their birthplace/culture/religion, etc. Your child will be very lucky to have two sets of parents, please give them that experience.

[@hollymichelle3705]

Thank you say this .. I needed to hear this today . I’m a birth mom.. so just thank you ❤️

[@LA-fr4gp]

I just honestly hope and pray they research adoption trauma so if it becomes a conflict as the child gets older they can understand ❤️

[@gailwagner8115]

It takes an incredible person to realized they don't have the best situation for their child and choose someone else to fill their position.. ❤️

[@thenameofYeshua]

Although we had a bit of a rough start, we have a wonderful relationship with our son's birth mom and we love her dearly. Our son is now 22 years old.

[@lindseywilliams61]

Bella and Dallin y’all are both amazing people. I can’t wait to see you become parents. The birth mother is a special part of this. There is a family I watch and maybe you can become friends with, Phil and Alex they Adopted two precious girls. They have an open adoption and met the birth mom. Alex is an amazing person. She may be of some help for you guys, much love to you all❤️

[@carmenj5045]

This is so true.. these ppl just wanna be good parents🙏🏽👏🏽♥️🇨🇦💙💎😘😁

[@niellaharder2647]

Im a birth mom. It was a very special day to meet the wonderful parents that got to take home my beautiful daughter. Thank you for what you said..🤗🥰💜

[@kikibanks]

I think this was always the way a child was supposed to come into your lives 🥰

[@jessicabjorkman1144]

This gave me chills ❤

[@AshleyS_LPC]

I have a friend who has a relationship with the birth mother of her adopted daughter and I feel the child only benefits from having more love in her life.

[@jasminelambert3753]

From a person who was adopted and has an adopted sister and four adopted cousins I think it can be really beneficial for the adoptive parents and the child to have a relationship with the bio parent(s). Obviously everyone and every case is different but my sister had a fully open adoption and always has had a relationship with her birth mom and her eventual family and it’s a really unique and beautiful connection. I kind of wish I had that. I’ve met my bio family but not until I was a teenager and they didn’t really have an interest in having a super strong connection. And obviously that’s fine and if that’s what the bio parent(s) want that is obviously a totally okay boundary. But if it’s something that’s wanted on both sides I think it can be a really beautiful and meaningful relationship.

[@angelramos1137]

Not all adoption stories are omg birth mom is awesome but hopefully for your sake yes. I was adopted and the lady that birthed me did not do me any favors and I don’t owe her anything. She’s nothing to me and my mom is my world and I’m so grateful to my mom that she chose me as her daughter.

[@MJacquelineJ]

Same. I don't know mine or what to know mine but I know everything I need to know. Most birth mothers are not important, not amazing & don't love the child they birthed. They have been abusive, unloving & hurtful, and had their child removed. Because of her, the child was hurt enough to be taken. Unfortunately lots of people seem to think of the parents over the child

[@lolitajunkin2682]

U guy's are speaking a beautiful truth.

[@alycran]

My dad met his birth mother 53 years later and they have a great relationship now❤

[@ggonzalez701]

I hope with all my❤ That's the birth mother who is Going to bless these people with a child Takes into consideration what these people do on the Internet and how that might affect that baby's life.

[@glenc8115]

Because she choose life for that baby

[@annasanner6636]

Thats amazing. You guys are so awesome. ❤

[@laurabrewinska5328]

This gives me The Handmaid’s Tale vibes😂

[@greedygamblerslots]

I would only caution them and make sure they have extremely clear boundaries.

[@juliehorn7037]

You guys will be wonderful, loving parents. Congratulations! ❤

[@ranch-questions]

I am so happy for them😊❤❤

[@TheTweetybird1122]

Awesome 🎉 keep praying for her but keep some boundaries until you learn more about her

[@karinapagano9926]

This is SO HUGE! I work with birth moms and this topic is something people have such little awareness. Birth moms are amazingly courageous women that love so so deeply and make a huge sacrifice because they want the best for baby

[@MJacquelineJ]

Unfortunately there are also a lot of birth mothers who have been forced to have their child put up for adoption because of abuse typically. Not all birth mothers are amazing, a lot of them are selfish, abusive and dont lobe their child/ren.

[@landreeleighton2811]

I’m glad they’re being so kind to the birth mother. But this would kind of crush my soul if I was Bella. Hearing my husband say “this woman is one of the most important people in our lives…… because of her we’re able to become parents.” Trying so hard and so long to be that person that creates your family and gives your husband a child and not being able to … This would be a stab in the heart to me. I’m glad she’s able to be strong about it

[@dustienelson2179]

You guys should like when your child gets old enough to meet there birth mom because I’m adopted and it’s awesome knowing I have 2 amazing and loving families even though they made a mistake I still care about them and stuff

[@allisonniehaus9522]

I am adopted and get to see my birth mom and it is feeling and a thing that lots of ppl don’t get to do. So i encourage ppl to think in abt letting the birth mom be a part of ur child’s life.

[@KingBoss2015]

Adoption is great but it can take a LONG TIME. So be patient. Some people wait years to adopt a baby so please don’t get ahead of yourselves thinking it will happen quickly or soon. It might not even happen this year! Just don’t be too disappointed if you don’t get a call soon

[@kp782]

I thought they already know her?

[@KingBoss2015]

@@kp782 Nope! Adoption doesn’t happen that fast

[@kp782]

@@KingBoss2015 yeah :) i just thought that because they announced in their channel that it is already happening :)

[@jamieharris6496]

God thank you for these people

[@Ella-uv9kc]

I'm an adopted as well, but I don't have contact with my birth mother or father mostly because they both didn't know how to care for me and took to drugs and alcohol than to want to look after me at home so they were out on a daily basis so we never had a good relationship - I was adopted when I was 6 years old and I didn't have a clue as to what was going on because I wasn't told anything by my foster parents so it was really stressful for me - I didn't mean to be so negative with my comment but I am so happy for you both and you will be great parents

[@sydneyphillips6531]

This is literally handmaids tale…

[@bekkahjacobschmidt2029]

Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way but as a mother who had her son adopted ( I was convinced that i was not ready to be a mom....) I'm so so glad you guys have this view though

[@MsDemonism]

Awe sweetie pies

[@kenzie9200]

To anyone who has put their baby up for adoption thank you for making that decision even though I know it's by far the hardest decision you've ever made but your literally making someone's dream come true and I hope you know how wonderful you really are ❤❤

[@Emmalee133]

I am so excited for them! I have a question for Bella and Stalin dallen, are you going to let the mother visit your kid?

[@tawnnope7196]

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

[@purviratra]

A lot of people are doing podcast these days but you are doing so well , like even the couple conversations are sweet , simple , joyful instead of ugh boring . Amazing you guys. I have started randomly watching podcast of other channels as well but I close them in just first 10 minutes and you guys I binge watch. Great stuff. Really amazing. ❤️

[@091791AE]

I love this 😍

[@-autumnfeelings]

I agree on this. It is great for a child to get adopted when the birth mother can't be the parent. But that doesn't mean that the child won't know about it's roots one day and it will be great for the child to learn about their own adoption story

[@appletree312]

You should make sure she still gets to be in the babys life.

[@thatfatguy7591]

Adopters:" can't wait to meet your mother! Aren't you excited!" Bruce: Adopters:"Right...hello...?"

[@privateperson9477]

This is a concept few ever know of or speak of. I agree with the other commenter, to have healthy boundaries with the birth Mother.

[@emzzzzz0998]

I would 100% foster but never adopt. The kids always end up going back to there parents who adopted them out. So fostering is more fair to the family who pays for everything for the child. And with fostering at least you would get government help and money.

[@roseking499]

Do we have any idea or guesses on when baby will arrive ??❤

[@Essouza81]

Some people wait years for a baby. Especially a newborn.

[@roseking499]

@@Essouza81 they just seem to be talking about it being soon!

[@lilavaba7012]

Where is Bella’s shirt from?

[@idiotmango6347]

I just gave my baby up for adoption and hearing this means a lot..

[@standup2982]

I hope you're ok 💜

[@Winnersfailandgetup]

facts thank you

[@Essouza81]

Just be cautious because I know many people that have had toxic birth mothers that caused trauma and drama in the adoptive parents lives.

[@melissawoodard1177]

Such a misconception. It’s not really about adoptive parents it’s about the child (adoptee). Adoption is trauma.

[@raynaakuma9981]

my sister in law still keeps in contact with her birth mother and my mother in law doesn’t mind

[@ElainaStratton-yd8wv]

I was adopted as a baby

[@abbykuhn-np3iu]

Amen

[@hannahwinters455]

What if it's a mother whose undeserving of the child and shouldn't those children be the ones that should be considered first.

[@sarahbulat3584]

So true

[@amydunbar1831]

Birth mother and birth father... they both have to give consent.

[@KingBoss2015]

Do they? I don’t think that’s accurate. Especially if the biological father isn’t even in the picture

[@angelicarosas5758]

Yes!

[@yi4733]

The birth mother may not want to meet the parents of her baby. She may just want to go on with her life.

[@Prism_ism]

Am I the only one that feels like they want to approve of the mother prior to accepting the baby she's giving up? I listened to the entire interview. Something about this feels wrong.

[@laurajackson2429]

What about the birth father? He's also giving you a child! Without him you wouldn't become parent's! Don't forget about him!

[@ellethepotato]

My sister is adopted and unfortunately her biological mother has lost all privilege to see her she hasn’t seen her in over 4 years and she is 9

[@MJacquelineJ]

It depends why the child is going into adoption. If they have done no harm to their baby & are simply putting them up for adoption because their unwell or not ready then that's fine but they aren't a special person if they have deeply harmed & abused their child forcing that child into adoption.

[@monika-1315]

It's so cool you can adopt newborn in US like that... I think where I live it's not that easy so you mostly need to skip the newborn phase:/

[@Dogday_kis44]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Traveler-rf8ye]

What about the bio father though?

[@sheilascoyne861]

❤