As a schizophrenic, the hardest thing for me was losing my memories. Like you said, you can't pinpoint events, but you remember how said events made you feel. It's also hard for me to talk to people because of this. I have nothing to say because I literally don't remember what happened during the day or week. There's no story to tell, and that took some time to get over. It still makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.
@JacquelineFalls5411 ай бұрын
My memory loss is so severe I forget events for years then suddenly remember them. I used to like to read but now I have difficulty retaining information. As soon as I read a sentence it goes away.
@ChrismgjАй бұрын
I thought I was the only one that felt this way. I can read something but not retain anything from it. Maybe it’s a thought block or something like that. I noticed this after my first psychotic episode with schizophrenia.
@ArielAndrésCorralesRamírez-s8mАй бұрын
i have the same problem and maybe our problem is tachypsychia
@jeniroberts Жыл бұрын
This was a well done video. I have mentioned on some of your other videos that I have schizoaffective disorder Depressive Type. I usually am depressed but sometimes I am just kind of ...well...nowhere. Not up not down just down the middle somewhere. Some kind of Euthymia I guess. Anyway, for me my memory is compartmentalized. When I am having a normal mood, I don't remember anything that happened when I was depressed. And when I am depressed, I don't remember what happened when my mood was normal. So all the time half of my memories are missing and unaccessible. That is my take on it :)
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Oh wow thats so interesting! And sounds super disorienting too. Thanks for sharing your take!
@Fred.Carpenter26 күн бұрын
"State-dependent memory or state-dependent learning is the phenomenon where people remember more information if their physical or mental state is the same at time of encoding and time of recall."
@Gothy_Guru3 ай бұрын
Your videos help me. I thought I was the only one who started losing their memory. I used to be known for having a fantastic memory. Now, people will mention things that happened in my past, and I have no memory of them.
@calebwuollet513 Жыл бұрын
My memory has also been hamstrung by my schizoaffective disorder. I often have to check and double, even triple check things because i just cannot remember often. Thanks for your videos, its good to hear from someone who can relate. Cheers!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Yes!!! The triple checking is so real!!! For work I have to do that to make sure I”m following the steps of what I’m doing properly, and it can be a little nerve-wracking, but I’ve just learned to trust myself, especially if it’s something I’ve done hundreds of times. Cheers to you too!
@discutotodoeltiempo6 ай бұрын
I had a manic episode that took me out to Alaska. I barely remember getting there. But I loved being there.
@SchizoKitzo5 ай бұрын
I have like, one memory of the plane on the way to Japan and back, and that’s it 😂
@kinzhe83 Жыл бұрын
When I was hospitalized one of the things doctors were telling us patients is that every time you have an "episode" you lose some of your "abilities", and that should be one of the reasons why one shouldn't stop taking meds. I'd say after my last manic episode 14 years ago my short-term memory was damaged but not terribly. By the way 14 years later I'm 120 pounds overweight and constantly tired and catatonic but I still prefer that to being manic or depressed, but that's just me. Thx for the video and Happy New Year to you and everyone here :)
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Happy new year to you too! And that really is a great reason to stay on meds, because that’s kinda how I feel about it too. I don’t want to lose anything else, ya know? And I’m glad you’re at a good place with meds and treatment. One day I hope to go that long in between episodes!
@leofire313 ай бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo It's not necessarily true that every episode of schizoaffective disorder results in a loss of cognitive abilities. Schizoaffective disorder, which features symptoms of both schizophrenia and mood disorder components (like bipolar disorder or depression), can impact cognitive functions. However, the effects on cognition can vary greatly among individuals. While some research suggests that repeated psychotic episodes in schizophrenia-related disorders might be associated with declines in certain cognitive functions, this is not an inevitable outcome for everyone with schizoaffective disorder. Factors such as the severity and frequency of episodes, the effectiveness of treatment, and individual differences in vulnerability to cognitive impairment play significant roles. Effective management of the disorder with medication, psychotherapy, and supportive services can help mitigate potential declines in cognitive function. Regular treatment and support can often stabilize the condition and improve overall functioning, which may include cognitive aspects.
@JellyBean-bx5oj9 күн бұрын
I realized that of my psychotic episode in December-January that lasted about 6 weeks, I only really remembered a handful of things. I remember people asking me what I had been up to around the Holiday season and I just couldn’t respond because I didn’t know. I don’t really remember what I did, what I got people for Christmas, who I celebrated with, and all sorts of important details. Sometimes some memories will come back, but really solid memories I only have about 3 or 4 from that time.
@user-bl9kt9bo6u Жыл бұрын
My 27 year old son got diagnosed with esquizo affective disorder a month ago. I'm beyond devastated by this diagnosis. It gives me hope you seem to have a normal life. Thanks for the info.
@postrigorvigor Жыл бұрын
I can't remember all I have forgotten.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
If this isn’t the most relatable comment I don’t know what is.
@heavymetalrehab Жыл бұрын
I stumbled across your channel looking for something that had nothing to do with mental health. Must have been fate! Something told me to check your channel out...and I am glad that I did. My mother has schizoeffective disorder and it seems to be a topic that is hard to find reliable information on. I have Bipolar disorder, so I struggle at times myself, but recently my mother's memory has gotten so horrible that at times she cannot remember certain things that happened the day before. It had really begun to terrify me. I feel better after seeing this. I needed to see this. Thank you.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
I’m glad my video could be there when someone needed it. Stay strong, and whatever happens, you got this and you ARE enough.
@joro898613 сағат бұрын
When I’m manic I play the guitar a lot. I record and write. And then I’ll stumble across something and be amazed and blown away. And then spend an unreasonable amount of time trying to relearn and teach myself what I did. It’s a gift and a curse. Thank you for your videos.
@atlasnaiad_2 ай бұрын
this helped me understand my aunt a little better. Thank you
@SchizoKitzo2 ай бұрын
Glad it helped
@robertagarrison89447 ай бұрын
You are a Godsend! My son, 38 yrs old has had Schizoaffective disorder for his entire adult life. I never understood why he constantly forgets things. Extremely frustrating to me. I thought his meds were making him drowsy, or lazy, or …. Thank you! Can’t wait to hear all your videos.
@BareBohemianBeauty20 күн бұрын
i didn’t know a lot of this. it makes so much sense as to why i can’t remember big portions of my episodes but also, i’ve been dx’d with cognitive impairment. i also used to be in all AP classes and was in a gifted program as a child. my memory was near infallible. now i can’t even trust myself bc my memory can get so bad. thanks for this video x
@Waldemar_la_TendresseКүн бұрын
I actually came by my insatiable interest and search for answers. I noticed that you have wonderful taste in color and placement of details. I love the green sky with the stars in it. And yes, I found the video interesting too.
@user-ow2uw5dw7f8 ай бұрын
Thanks for the video, Its....reassuring to hear someone who is going through the same things.....describe them and still be positive. So Thank You again.
@SchizoKitzo8 ай бұрын
It’s so easy to be negative, and sometimes I am, but if I can be positive it helps so much. I’m glad I could reassure ya, I’m not alone and neither are you!
@lazarmitrovic180 Жыл бұрын
Ty for this video, no one on internet talk about how this symptoms can affect your social life, your career, relationships...... By the way what improved my cognition enormously are cold showers and exercise. Returning blood to my brain started turning my thinking processes back to normal. I still cant remember words in the middle of the conversation sometimes, but that is it. I am not socially awkward , I can go out with friends. It is just better...
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Im so glad you’ve found something that helps! Exercise helps me as well just in general, so I’m sure it’s helping cognition as well! And yeah, SZA can really affect so many aspects of life, like I’d say it affects everything to some degree. And that’s okay! Just gotta work with it :)
@ChrisAllendestroysall5 ай бұрын
Holy 😭😭😭 I'm crying right now. Someone understands.
@SchizoKitzo3 ай бұрын
You ain’t alone!
@q-perspective89892 ай бұрын
crying for what, Her parents obviously can afford to give her A normal life, or Being a Woman with mental issues is easier than being a man. Because men will still Date those women. If you want to cry , cry for poor people really poor men with mental problems who are homeless and have nothing, not even a place to shower, and are completely isolated
@Kaovi3 Жыл бұрын
You opened my eyes. We have same diagnosis but I'm depressive type. I really can't watch back in the past. For me is literally only now. And it's a mystery how can it be. I know what I have to do but I can't recall anything from yesterday. But like you I'm very emotional and I can remember moods or smells or texture but not the events. Thank you a lot for taking about this. The time is now lo😂
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Glad I could help you! I wish this awful disease didn’t take our memories, and maybe one day they can find a way to reverse it, but I feel the damage is already done. Regardless, thank you for sharing this!
@BaddeGrasse Жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking the time for this 🧡
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Of course! Love doing it
@gckinsey Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for opening up about your experiences with memory loss, and sharing your insights into how and why they happen. As an Avatar fan, I loved "everything changed when the mania attacked." XD With what you described about manic episodes, with your brain running faster than your thoughts can keep up, it makes a lot of sense that you would have gaps in your memory during them. Also that short story assignment sounds so scary - I would have cried too if something like that happened to me, because it's such a stark way to realize that your memory wasn't what it had always been. It was great to hear about how both your medications and your record-keeping in Notion/your calendar help you counterbalance your memory loss. I also love how remembering the feelings you experienced in certain moments, even if you don't remember the details, makes it easier for you to cope. It's awesome that you've found ways to live a fulfilling & enjoyable life with your memory loss, & I think hearing about that is going to help so many other people who deal with the same thing. :)
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Memory loss is something that I don’t really hear much about online or in mental health circles, because while it is a big thing with schizos (affectives and phrenics) its also a problem in those with depression even and definitively bipolar, and people just don’t talk about it! Yet another reason WHY it SHOULD be talked about! Memory is such a fleeting thing anyways, and I definitely go through my life trying to commit things to memory that i know I’ll forget, and it’s okay, it really is. Because all I can do is keep moving forward. I still remember big stuff, but I can’t always say what I did yesterday. Thanks so much for this GC!
@danallshaw1131 Жыл бұрын
Thanks, your the very first on in 20 years I've heard about (memory loss). It made higher education very hard to complete.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
When doing research for this video I found it hard to find information on it. But memory loss is such a big thing in more than just schizoaffective, and hardly anyone talks about it. Thanks for this!
@danallshaw1131 Жыл бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo YW, look forward to you making the next 25 years a blessing for all of us.
@LivingDead532 ай бұрын
You're such a good person. Since I've always been somewhat disabled, I'm used to this. I don't have strong emotions and can mostly laugh and cry. My memory has been whack for a while. I know that an average person will get like 70% of the material, and I will have to work harder for 30% of the material. I'm still learning. Yes, there are times when I think about the ocean or a group home that had a nice garden. I am annoyed that I am harassed about getting a pension. They have no low. I'm a "parasite," but I'm also not allowed to do anything that brings success. I must live in poverty for insulting Zheani. Your sin? Do you have any fucking idea? I chill in an adult facility. I'm not allowed to shine. I'm used to it. The ones who say they're fixing us is even worse. They all know about the brain now, but they won't share. We're in that phase.
@hietakissa25107 ай бұрын
I just found your channel and really enjoy your content! I recently got diagnosed with epilepsy, which affects my memory and since my diagnosis I have just generally been very absent-minded. It mostly affects my short-term memory and I often forget "smaller" things. I've always been absolutely terrified of forgetting things or losing big chunks of my memories. This video really helped me with the fears regarding all of this, even though we don't have the same disorder.
@SchizoKitzo7 ай бұрын
So glad I could help you and welcome to the Hive! 🐝 memory issues suck no matter the cause, we just gotta try our best! 💪
@Omicronthewiperofyouknow...4 күн бұрын
A friend once told me that depression is about people not liking you. He was a pharmacist. You get really really stressed when the people around you don't like you.
@markreamer5113 Жыл бұрын
It is difficult to process information spoken to me! I need to read slowly and deliberately, but that may be the fact directions were always hard to follow! It was an ongoing occurrence where I was told to put my name at the top of whatever test that was being taken and I never remembered! I think it wouldn’t be much of a surprise that I grew up with an emotional instability that interfered with my learning ability!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Oh interesting! Thanks for sharing!
@Laeshaangellala0510 Жыл бұрын
I have I think either residual or undifferentiated Schizophrenia I love your videos, please post more and longer vids daily!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much! Never going to be daily, I don’t have that much time, but I appreciate the interest!
@Laeshaangellala0510 Жыл бұрын
Ok.
@moehrengruen1196 Жыл бұрын
I do have problems with auditory processing as well but the worst thing is my orientation. When I was hospitalised I could not find my own room and so on. 🤷🏽♀️ Learning new things helps me a lot and I think will regain my skills because of neuronal plasticity.💪
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
I have such issues with orientation too! I have to use a GPS in my hometown and I’ve lived here mostly my entire life! And yay for plasticity, I hang onto that too. And there’s actually imaging studies done on people with psychosis that show that the brain CAN HEAL after a psychotic episode damages it. It’s actually really cool, and gives me hope for myself.
@wobina6 ай бұрын
I have schizophrenia and my theory for why my short term memory sucks is because I'm constantly hearing voices all day long and its fuckin distracting LOL I also used to love reading (before I heard voices), now i can't really read any books because the voices will get bored or distract me.
@WWS322 Жыл бұрын
I saw a video on KZbin about memorizing notation. She is a guitarist. She said she doesn't use one method but all methods. I play classical guitar and I've only got one song memorized. I find it easy to follow what you're saying and I like that so I memorized your channel's name. You might have burned out your mind by overloading it. I call myself an intellectual burnout because I feel reading did that to my mind. I also weathered the storm of mental illness until it decided it had gotten enough of me.
@josecogdill690119 күн бұрын
I was just diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type thank you for your video. I do have memory loss.
@nelliephelan13585 ай бұрын
This is the most relatable thing I’ve watched in as long time. Immediately subscribed ❤
@SchizoKitzo5 ай бұрын
Welcome! Glad to help ^_^
@xronald619x Жыл бұрын
I was manic just two weeks ago now I'm depressed 😔 and I forget things too.... I've been supposedly diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar but I think id fit in more in the schizoaffective diagnosis with panic attacks and extreme anxiety..... I think my depression is due to my severe sleep deprivation these past few days when I don't sleep I can't function.
@Lipolimtown Жыл бұрын
This is why KARxt will be a verrry important medication
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
I looked this one up, and it looks pretty interesting. Hopefully it WILL help the crappy situation so many of us are in.
@Lipolimtown Жыл бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo I’m a big fan of it and have been studying it and the few others that are coming out for negative and cognitive symtoms. It seems very promising. Hang in there!
@kristinhall7574 Жыл бұрын
Good video. I use to have a steel-trap memory but that is gone. My long term memory is still good but short term memory is awful. I thought it was the medication. I can’t remember important things but I sure can remember stupid stuff. I read somewhere that schizophrenics have a smaller hippocampus then normal. I also heard that exercise can help enlarge it. Thanks again for making these videos. They really help.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Oh man if exercise helps I’m going to do way more than yoga… I’ll look into that. Thanks for telling me, and I had no idea about the hippocampus thing. Theyr’e learning more and more that schizophrenia is more of a brain disease than a mental disorder, so it’s going to be interesting to see where science takes the disorder in the coming years…. And where schizoaffective fits into that mix.
@kristinhall7574 Жыл бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo I forgot to mention that the study specifically said that aerobic exercise increases the hippocampus
@beatcause Жыл бұрын
This was really helpful 👏 🙂 you are making great videos and are a great soul. ❤
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for letting me know!!!!
@stephenbrown78153 ай бұрын
Just went through a battery of test that involved short term and long term memory. I didn't realize how bad my memory short term and long term was. Like you i couldn't recite what was told to me. Thanks for the vid kit, it helps me understand this diagnosis better and how to accept it.
@SchizoKitzo3 ай бұрын
Acceptance is key!
@lindotimo3 ай бұрын
I have problems with my memory, but it may be linked to my age. Particularly bad my memory is, if I have slept well. Luckily enough, I am already retired, and I don't have to remember many things at once in the mornings. - Still I long for this total relaxation of memory and a sort of cleaning up of the memory and garbage annihilation. - I do not have particular 'episodes' of mood swings, unless these sleep disturbances are counted. - I enjoy listening and wathing your videos! Good luck to you!
@ieshaanderson22896 ай бұрын
I forget events. And details to a conversations. But I thank God I found your channel because I didn’t know why I was losing my memory.
@SchizoKitzo5 ай бұрын
It can be so scary!
@GoddessLaurel10 ай бұрын
You are such good vibes! Thank you for sharing your experience and ideas. 💖
@mjlove6574 Жыл бұрын
Thank You for Notion i will try it! Great video!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
ITS AMAZING!!! Have fun :)
@raissamarking-fg9wl4 ай бұрын
I didn't even know how much I had forgotten until one of my brothers whom I hadn't been around in years started asking me about some of the big family events--brother's weddings, famiky members funerals, places I've lived, etc. I didn't know what I didn't remember until I realized from his questions that had zero memories of these events and places. Very strange to realize how much my memory has been affected by schizoaffective disorder. I feel like a person without a past.
@SchizoKitzo3 ай бұрын
I’ve forgotten so so much and it’s hard to accept. It has gotten better since my psychotic break took most of it from me but I still hate that I forget little and even big things
@vazzaroth26 күн бұрын
Very interesting. I have had a terrible, seemingly clinically deficient memory for a lot of my life, but it's the opposite. I can't remember numbers... EVER. Under almost any circumstance. I never did and never will memorize times tables. I still at 35 kinda think that everyone is lying that they can just DECIDE to remember a big stupid grid of meaningless numbers! But I do remember text and words and concepts super well, but never events or facts about, like, people. But I have the same thing: I can recall with basically perfect clarity how I FELT about things in the moment and that's about it. I've wondered about maybe being schizoid, autistic, or schizophrenic but I don't think I have 'real' hallucinations even though I do tend to have a super critical inner voice that pops up and is 'othered' by my psyche. It's not a common situation but happens about twice a year when I'm at my lowest. Anyway, ain't nobody got money for healthcare so it's not like I can do anything about it!
@JeffAiken-ui6hk5 күн бұрын
I agree with what you say causes memory loss and like you I write everything down in my diary including my Zyprexa dose
@lisatomihiro3488 Жыл бұрын
This was incredibly informative and helpful. Thanks Kit!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
No prob!
@CamboTriton Жыл бұрын
Great video! You are such a brilliant young lady, wonderful to listen to.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Thanks! I try!
@lindotimo5 ай бұрын
I have some memory issues which a usual in this age. - Things which happened long ago are remembered, but newly happened things, particularly names dissappear in the darc corners of the memory. - Retrieval times are extended considerably. - Sometimes the name pops up the next day. - In one of our universities they try to do 'brainwashing' in a literal sense. This is thought to help in severe cases of dementia.
@YanaZakrevska11 ай бұрын
I have this too! I noticed my memory got worse after my 3rd hospitalization that was 2 years ago. It's getting better though. Or maybe i just got used to it, who knows xD I often don't know if something is a dream or a memory. My dreams are very bright and realistic and I remember them really well (probably because of my medications) and sometimes i really struggle distinguishing dreams and memories. It feels like my brain just keeps them in one folder and doesn't bother to organize them xD I also forget about many little things, I have to be reminded or i won't ever remember about them on my own. It's like graphics in video games, if things get too far away they simply disappear haha
@Shmoo224206 ай бұрын
Wow I'm so glad you made this video. I have bipolar type schizoaffective as well. I feel like the more mania and psychosis I experience the worse my memory gets. "I don't remember but I believe you" is a sentence I use a LOT now when people ask me if I remember an event. It's so frustrating. I have to watch movies over and over for them to stick. I also have extreme trouble telling people apart and remembering faces. I don't know if that's a memory issue or something else. I didn't even recognize any of the male actors in the Les Mis movie and my husband was shocked because I've seen those actors so many times. Do you experience facial recognition issues as well?
@SchizoKitzo5 ай бұрын
I am mildly faceblind yes! Hard for me to recognize characters in shows when I first start watching them, especially if they change outfits a lot.
@winkus85866 ай бұрын
My memory is still relatively okay. But i do have problem when i have to recall them during conversation with people. It is the autopilot mode and social anxiety that are so severe.. And i am in a super depressed and frustrated situation.. living as a schizophrenic is so hard. I am not taking any antipsychotic out of fear of the long term side effect and due the the current situation of my life indicating that it is too late. I try to cheers up my self, but every time i met with people, it fall apart again either by my own mistake or pure bullying.. Now i understand why people with schizophrenia tend to be flat.
@user-mu6xx9np6n2 ай бұрын
You make a lot of sense to me. Your aura and speech. It's weird, to me. I feel like I know you. Weird I know; but I accept that I am disabled too. So maybe I'm weird. I subscribed. I have massive memory blanks. Super manic, with drugs during college. Spent 20 grand on a Star Wars phone game... It sure felt good hahaha 😆
@johnsantavicca50163 ай бұрын
Food Lion! I haven't heard anybody talk about that store in decades.
@user-xe4sn6he8w5 ай бұрын
This may sound ridiculous compared to what you’ve experienced, but I forget the lyrics to songs. I recently had to listen to the same song over fifteen times to try to remember thr lyrics and I still don’t think I know them all. Some songs I remember quite well but I get the verses in the wrong order when I try to sing them, like Christmas carols.I also have huge concentration problems that started in high school. Sending you best wishes from France!
@Omegared_o Жыл бұрын
happy new year!!!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much! You too!
@Omicronthewiperofyouknow...4 күн бұрын
If you get involved in academia, there are people around that work with all sorts of substances, and some of them are kinda clumsy and forget about stuff.
@user-vk4mm9so7l4 ай бұрын
Ya i was told when you stop taking meds by a mednurse that every time you go off your meds you get worse and learn to like taking your meds until your medicine takes no more effect. I went off my meds afterward now im used to being off my meds. I take them now because i live in an adult family home and im given them everyday. Im going to be on them when i get married using call scripture so ill be on my meds from then on to make her happy.
@katienunya Жыл бұрын
It hasnt been to to long since i was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and definitely recently my memory has been horid and didnt know schizoaffective could cause it
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Make sure to talk to a doctor about it if it concerns you, but it’s such a common complaint by those with SZA and I hate it for all of us.
@atura55028 ай бұрын
When I‘m in a depressed episode my memory could get so bad that I forgot where I parked my car or how to get back home. But it has not happened ever since I got on medication.
@SchizoKitzo8 ай бұрын
It’s crazy how intense memory issues can get with mood and psychotic disorders. And medication does help! Glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore!
@ariannesmum8 ай бұрын
This is great many drs don't tell you about this but its happening
@SchizoKitzo7 ай бұрын
They can’t cover everything
@mentalhealthwithalana Жыл бұрын
I relate, I have Bipolar too
@elysemattocks14953 ай бұрын
This is a biggie for me too. I take a small dose of donepezil this is an alzhimers med but there are studies that show this can help those struggles with memory issues while diagnosed with a mental disorder. Each person is different but maybe talk it over with your drs my psychiatrist prescribed it for me in my case.
@charlesjdickerson10106 ай бұрын
i am diagnosed schizotypal, and find myself having memory issues. the clearest and most easy to define was years ago, i was home alone doing some kitchen cleaning when the microwave dinged. i looked in and some food was ready. i had to be the one that put it in there, but i had no memory of doing so. the doctors dont seem to believe me, and have yet to find anything that confirms what i tell them. it's a strange life. 😂😮
@LivingDead532 ай бұрын
Well, I took an IQ test when I was spitting my pills out, and it was grim. I received a 116 on the IQ part with serious issues. Some of the global tasks were too difficult for me. I do guard some of them to keep my dad away. I study, read, and write for my brain. I take meds and am watched. Lithium and the others rewire the brain. plus, depression and other diseases like to damage the brain, so we don't know fully, which is which. I'm not sure it causes growth, just new pathways. I'm allergic to lithium, it turns out, so... Anyway, I was in special ed . I guess I mostly made Bs in High SchooI, even though I was so behind due to special ed. I was also pushing my body to the limits abuse-wise. No, I wasn't on drugs. I couldn't stop moving, didn't sleep for days, starved or feasted. I did laps around the city. I should have competed in cycling because I am a cardio queen or was. If I wouldn't have joined the army, I would have probably gone off in a few years and just medicated or watched by a doctor. Unfortunately, I have the face of my mom's abuser or did when I was thinner. I had issues with one of my sisters who I tormented after I came back home in sixth grade from dad's. She got her revenge. I said sorry. Her doctor doesn't want us together or for me to bring anything up for a while. she's too busy with a family now anyhow. Most of us do commit a crime and then they figure it out, which is sad. Mom tried to have me committed, but my dad stopped her, and the rest of the family said they'd cut off funds if she did. I love my mommy. She doesn't love me though. It's not something I cry about. She wouldn't let me in at night. She had no problem with babysitting. She made a big deal about me taking meds when I came back, or I couldn't see my siblings. Look, it was a mess. Hey, she pickled her brain with alcohol and had no problem when it came to draining my bank account. wah, wah. I love you, mommy. I hate you daddy.
@marlo29193 ай бұрын
My mom in the hospital for schizoaffective disorder and.bi polar mania. My mom is unable to recognize she has anything wrong... She thinks she is in the hospital illegally. Does anyone know if at some point she will recognize she has something wrong and needs to take and stay on meds? I'm afraid.she never going recozie and have to be in a mental institution the remai of her life.
@SchizSoAffective2 ай бұрын
Bro I have memory lapses a lot and I forget everything that happened before the present moment. I didn’t put together that it could be bc of my disorder
@lisanancollas23304 күн бұрын
Does anyone else in your family have your diagnosis?
@nikicarrie4071 Жыл бұрын
I don't remember anything people say, but I remember looking at/ reading. I'm not auditory learner .people have said I'm stupid for this a lot. But I just can't. They'll be like I just told you 😡😡
@nikicarrie4071 Жыл бұрын
Love you ❤
@johnsantavicca50163 ай бұрын
I feel you on the memory thing.
@YANDEX30V Жыл бұрын
I have SED .. I'm not sure how this streamer can be so cheerful tbf. Its out of place. However, for instance.. I can be affected in this way..apart fro. Many:-- I can go to a place I've been a thousand times and still not know where iam. It's a weird one. But again highlighting this streamer..I've no idea why you can film yourself and be so happy doing so. Behond comprehension.
@charlesjdickerson10106 ай бұрын
she might be one of those people that always amaze me with their exuding cheer without due cause.
@Wezryx2 ай бұрын
You made a reference to Avatar that you'll not be getting past me.
@robertstone8056 Жыл бұрын
good video kitz!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
Thanks as always!
@angelpizza78928 ай бұрын
I have it to but my memory is so shock that i cant evem remember my childhood amd what i did just a few moments ago. No epidose need just forgetfully all the time
@Omicronthewiperofyouknow...4 күн бұрын
This might seem weird, but have you ever checked for radiation poisoning?
@user-hn8zk3rh2y2 ай бұрын
I've no memory till 16,,, is all pictures till then
@hnp706 Жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed SchzAffective disorder 3 years before. I had 3 manic episodes also. I have memory issues and i have difficulty to speak continuesly. For me It is difficult to get words from memory. I dont know what to do. Please help
@shnaslam Жыл бұрын
How about your long term memory? It seems the problem is specifically with short term memory, but have you noticed any sort of change in your long term memories? Have they changed? Do you ave any issues with recall? Happy New Year and also pls start selling knitwear it's very cold where I am from.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
So this is a hard one, because I feel that since I don’t have a good short term its hard for memories to even get to long term. However, I have noticed that the memories I’ve made BEFORE my manic episodes got bad remain largely untouched. For example, I was playing Halo for the first time in years about 10 months ago, and I remembered all aspects of that game in perfect clarity because I used to play it all the time in high school. It was… a little wild actually, like I’d opened a time capsule or something, because I was recalling far more than I usually do. And most of my high school memories are like that-like I remember all the theater productions I was a part of, things like that-while I have very few memories of college and after. However, these days, if I do manage to get something into long term storage through repetition etc… then it’s in there and will stay there. In terms of recall, its hit or miss. I either really know it or I don’t know anything, there is rarely an in between. Hope this helps an that it made sense!
@shnaslam Жыл бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo Yes totally makes sense! Thank you for the in-depth response! It feels like there's a demarcation between memories pre-mania and post. I also think it's interesting that you had an eidetic memory, and now your note taking is like the physical analog of that with how meticulous they are. Goes to show that the "spirit" of a person is very hard to diminish!
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
@@shnaslam oh my gosh you’re so right about the note-taking!!! Never would have thought of it from that perspective. Thanks!
@savidgepups4 ай бұрын
I find after an episode to me it almost looks like my hubbies brain “resets” after a episode
@SchizoKitzo4 ай бұрын
Oh interesting!
@puke1165 ай бұрын
Have you made/would you consider making a video about how you use Notion? It'd be awesome to get some tips on using it for memory!
@SchizoKitzo5 ай бұрын
Oh it’s totally on the list! I have to figure out logistics but ABSOLUTLEY
@puke1165 ай бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo Yay!!! :D
@JulianaAnderssonАй бұрын
I adore your hats! I think I asked before, but what is this stitch? Is there a pattern?
@SchizoKitzoАй бұрын
It’s the diagonal rib stitch in knitting and I made up the pattern. Wish I remembered it!
@JulianaAnderssonАй бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo it’s so cool!
@JulianaAnderssonАй бұрын
@@SchizoKitzo isn’t it just knit and purl?
@jonf.3931 Жыл бұрын
I have cognitive deficits but it is from autism spectrum disorder and Clozapine
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
SO many things can cause them, hang in there!
@marypoole6064 Жыл бұрын
Big Pharma Drugs ?????
@carolmussotter8439 Жыл бұрын
Hi Kit! I have a humble request here…Please don’t refer to us as “schitzo”. It’s pretty derogatory and to me really emphasizes the stigma we are fighting to break. Also, your soundtrack/music is extremely distracting and I have a hard time focusing on your words. Maybe don’t use a soundtrack or turn down the volume so it doesn’t complete with your voice. A neurotypical person may not have an issue…but perhaps for those of us prone to hallucinations…everything competes with our perception. Most KZbin video discussions have no musical score perhaps for this reason. Sorry to sound critical but really had to share. Otherwise, great perspective. Keep up the great work.
@JeffreyWilliams-dr7qe2 ай бұрын
Dungeons and dragons should be acted out in steam tunnels at University. What game did you mention?
@AtheistBassist Жыл бұрын
I too need lists for everything nowadays. Back in my nuke school and prototype days, I had to memorize countless amounts of information to verbally regurgitate to somebody. However, those days are long gone along with the memories of the acquaintances I made. Like I can remember some names, some faces, but that's it. You referencing food lion did bring back happy memories of living down south tho, get some Waffle House next time you're out for me.
@royclevenger9817 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Kit. My photographic memory was destroyed in a simple hospital mistake. I was left for 6 days at 106 degrees fever. Haven't worked 1 day in 9 years. Memory continues to deteriorate, especially short-term memory. None of my immediate family members understand, which makes this worse. I have no good solution except to try to disguise it.
@SchizoKitzo Жыл бұрын
100% gonna go to Waffle House now I haven’t been in a while. I too forget people pretty easily if it’s been long enough, even if I hung out with them pretty regularly. I’m also partially face blind which makes things even harder, since I can’t recall faces at all. Eventually everything will be forgotten, it’s just a little sped up for me.
@Dou2537 ай бұрын
I have manic loss of keys disorder does that count?
@qpf0003 ай бұрын
Have you tried galantamine? I helps with memory loss. My psychology and psychiatrist says memory loss is the not a concerning sign of anything, due to my complex history they I'm mostly likely cluster A but they can never dyicsnos my with anything at moment for me time is so dilated 1 minute = 30 minutes from my postective's as so there's a echo chamber effect everything is very loud and I'm sort of getting suck in infinite awareness loops with myself there alot of paraiting both my sisters are bipolar at lest everyone can hear and interact with each other's really helps for abstract maths mixed with soundtch and chemistry if I get very bord stay way from DLPA it makes everything so much worse, I've got to point we're my dangerous meds and chemicals like Zopiclone which will always make memory losses worse for anyone if you take it long enough is at lest locked behind two safes and if I can remember we're the keys are I should be taking the Zopiclone I should be the Quetiapine sory this is way to long, just before I Finsh this do ever find it really annoying when people allows ask you if your all right after to have a interaction with people do other people see me doing or saying something that I'm not aware of
@rashidafurniturewalla98529 күн бұрын
Very difficult to understand your post, maybe you can edit it. Hope your taking your meds ❤
@qpf00029 күн бұрын
@rashidafurniturewalla985 Sorry about that. I tend to ramble a bit when I'm talking about chemicals, I remember this posts sometimes I get delirium when I'm dealing with blood noises, It's actually really funny this popped up this week, turns out you can turn NAC into H²S if temperatures get above 70c and hopefully I will never be do it again and always look at the side reaction 😇
@mkiamlaine5 ай бұрын
how to get your memory back?
@SchizoKitzo5 ай бұрын
If you find out let me know 😂
@LaCosa973Ай бұрын
I would fight a mountain lion for you🤣🥂 thank you for this..
@1fhasdfadf6 ай бұрын
I don't mean to sound insulting, pardon me if I come across that way -- but some of your "lopsided cognitive testing scores" as well as your high articulation in your speech, kind of strike me that you have this "autistic neuroprotective factor" at play here -- this is in reference to what you said around two and a half minutes about being able to have strong enough short term memory to ace an AP exam by having near eidetic memory. Why am I mentioning all this -- I think you would benefit from neurofeedback and possibly TMS to sort of "lock you" into those states where you are having hyperlearning ability, because if that's something that you value, I totally see that as a possibility you could attain -- and no, I don't think this of most people who claim membership to the psychosis spectrum group.
@mo-end-times-info Жыл бұрын
Playing dungeons and dragons and any involvement in eastern mysticism and religions including the new age will do no favours for mental and spiritual health - been there - bore the symptoms. Same with nature worship ( Gaia) etc - people need to try to research what opens doors to spiritual issues and the connection to mental health.
@xronald619x Жыл бұрын
I wanna be manic.
@e_waspish6 ай бұрын
The fuc im so glad i found this chanel 🥹 Since my childhood i had problems with remembering ALWAYS and it turned me to feel so so so much stupid And everyone laughed at me or said that i can deal with it, just doing exercises for remembering But it didnt work, i just couldn't and it turned me to feel myself the stupidest human in the world I was searching for any info about bad remembering (and other problems) in my language and i didn't find so much about it I tried to find this information in English-speaking youtube segment and all i found brought me to the trap when im not understanding what i am and just Aaaa Tried to fix these problems by myself but it did my condition worse :') And now when i found your video im just so happy 🥹 Im not the only one who has such memory issues and it makes me feel more,,,, chill? Or patient or something I want to say again im so so thankful for your video!🤧