Men lie about more than we realize….

[@MelanieHamlett]

Please engage with this if you like it so it will get to my subs via the algorithm. I love reading your stories and advice and insights too💕💕🙏🏻

[@tlingitgirl07]

I have so much to say on this video but I'm going to have to come back to it later!

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

@@tlingitgirl07 you obviously know that you’re so welcomed to come back here anytime. 🙏😊💯💯💗

[@MelanieHamlett]

@@tlingitgirl07yes please!!! 💕💕💕

[@Texasjess-ou8zv]

The idea of having a man that would support this content is truly mind boggling. Yay supportive husband!

[@PassionateFlower]

If he isn't your biggest cheerleader then he's your worst enemy. If he's not your worst enemy then he's just in your way.

[@PassionateFlower]

He needs to get out of your way if he's not there to add value to your life.

[@deerhaven3350]

In my 69-years it has been my experience that not all, but many men, are just unable to go through life without lying. De-centering them from my life 20 years ago was one of the healthiest things I ever did for myself.

[@MelanieHamlett]

💯💯💯

[@altyrrell3088]

Taking care of a spouse who has done their best for you is WAY different than taking care of someone who works against you and themselves. I hope the OP leaves him. Safely.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Exactly!! A spouse who has cherished and loved you is totally different than what so many of these me are doing!

[@misshouda1740]

Men know this they are just evil and don't care as long as u going to be a nurse when he's 80.

[@30xine]

The first uninterrupted bath in 20 years 😭😭😭 I'm so glad this woman has seen the light.

[@MelanieHamlett]

💕💕💕 me too. And her NIECE helping that happen made me 😭😭😭😭

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Yes me too, it’s never too late!! 🙏💯💯💗💗💗

[@truffaut650truffaut6]

I know that one😢😂

[@txspacemom765]

My ex claims IBS and Crohn's. His doctor performed 3 separate surgeries to correct his problem. The doctor said, on the second one, it's not IBS/Crohn's. His bowels were irritated from an extreme allergy to dairy. Yet this man continued to eat ice cream and cheese cake by the gallons. His last surgery, the doc said "Listen, either you change your diet or find another doc. I can't keep cutting you open for no reason." A DOCTOR! My ex even tried to blame me for what he ate, even though I bought the salmon and cooked it, I use olive oil, I did not purchase anything processed. Oh and I am a runner, hiker, swimmer and in pretty decent shape. Before we divorced, I had to get a name of a medication he was taking and I went under his sink. I will be honest y'all, I don't know what he took or the sheer amount of stuff he was taking. He has medicines for diabetes (I never knew he had diabetes and yet, he eats carbs and again, the dairy.) He does not have diabetes. Oh and his doc told him to stop using faux sugar replacements, as they can cause massive diarrhea. My ex insists that sugar is worse. Every vacation or even a dinner out or an occasion was ruined. He would sit there with this stupid look on his face because he needed to constantly use the bathroom. When we would come home, guess what he would do- sleep for 12-14 hours a day and when I complained, he said I was mean and unsympathetic. I started going to things myself, spending money on myself and enjoying my life. I started working out again and lost 40lbs, He refused to walk with me because he had to stay near a toilet. He refused to take the fiber recommended. He refused to remove dairy and drink just plain water. He would get mad. I guess I was supposed to sit there and listen to him fart all day and smell up the house and bathroom. Seriously. Oh and he couldn't clean the bathroom up because he was "sick" and cramping. Yep. Done. Why do so many of these arse holes has IBS?

[@DaliaLarrier]

They can't digest their feelings in a healthy way for themselves and others so it causes irritance and imbalance between gut , nerves and brain

[@AlyssaIrvine]

This story is BRUTAL!!! Glad you got out ❤

[@txspacemom765]

@@AlyssaIrvine I really consider it mental warfare.

[@ashleykathryn9038]

I read somewhere it's common for people high on the narcissist scale to have stomach issues. My new red flag 🚩

[@anarcho-communist11]

My ex-husband had a limp from a car accident that happened years before I met him. As the marriage continued I caught him several times walking totally normal til he saw me, and then he started up with the limp- A limp that came and went on different days dependent on nothing in particular.

[@melissashiels7838]

Mu husband avoided going to the doctor for the last year and nearly lost his leg in April due to sepsis. He spent 9 days in hospital and had to have a PICC line inserted into his heart to spread the antibiotics around faster. I told him straight to his face this was a result of his own stubbornness and stupidity. I told him I think he loves being injured/sick for the attention, but he better not get used to it and all this could have been avoided by going to the doctor any number of times in the last year. I'm submitting my PhD thesis in 3 months time, and I'll be damned if he holds me back because of a preventable sickness. I don't think he likes my nursing style, I'm more Nurse Ratchet, than Florence Nightingale.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Good for you! I’m sorry he did this but I’m so glad you are not gonna let him slow you down or make you nurse him 💕💕💕

[@emilyfeagin2673]

Congratulations on pursing your PhD My late partner wouldn’t seek medical care for his issues. It killed him

[@ashh1371]

Congrats on the PhD! You are amazing just for that! 😊

[@edunlap6594]

Reading your comment makes me wonder if women making a health condition in prenuptial agreements can and should be a thing!

[@melissashiels7838]

@edunlap6594 that's not a bad idea!

[@sammallory4773]

Not even ten minutes in, but I have to comment that i HATE the phrase "We're pregnant!" No, your woman is pregnant, but you guys are having a baby. I'm going to die on this hill- pregnancy means housing the baby inside your body!

[@MelanieHamlett]

Exactly!!!! 💕💕💕

[@subratanandy2142]

This " we're pregnant" thing negates all the advances of gynaecology 😂😂. Biological males CAN'T possibly become pregnant ( including trans women ). This is so stupid.

[@emlink1701]

7:55 Omg the ''we're pregnant'' thing... Can't stand it. Honestly it sounds even worse when the woman in the couple says it. Like, girl... Tell me you're a pick me without telling me you're a pick me.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yeah I bet she has SO many stories of him negging her! My guess is she’s in complete denial of how bad it truly is! This is just a taste of it . Codependency is deadly for some of us until we treat it !

[@janerecluse4344]

Seriously, both of you are going to have a baby, but only she is pregnant!

[@katherines144]

I really try not to judge when the woman of the couple says it. When the man of the couple does, I always look to her. This would bother me a lot if I ever got pregnant.

[@Erica-en2qz]

Ugh. I hate this. My MIL said it and I was like "you have GOT to be kidding me." Absolutely not! And not him either. I was the only pregnant one in that equation.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

A lot of the time, they don't bother to cover up their lies either, because they know there will be little to no consequences for their lies, so the lies are often done as a way to simply humiliate and mock women more. Lying is a power play, it's saying 'I think you are not entitled to information that is relevant to your life'.

[@dreamscape405]

One guy I used to date, faked a back injury too. Then, I happened to catch him one day, stretching like usual, doing all kinds of calisthenics out in his back yard. I watched him for awhile, then went out to confront him. When he saw me, his face just dropped😅😅😅 he started explaining all kinds of random ways he was able to these things, while having this supposed injury, AND ,meanwhile he stopped sleeping with me, and wouldn't even take me out for a date. Of course I left right then...but dang. To lie about a back injury so you didn't have to sleep with me anymore, or be seen with me, is just crazy...and to STILL lie after you've been caught...narcissism. UNBELIEVABLE.....P.S. about the older men being strong, idk the statistics, but my maternal grandfather did his own car repairs, including tires, etc in his 70s, so yeah, old guys are pretty strong too😅

[@susannehuber3996]

My ex faked cancer to me and his second girlfriend. He also faked depression to make me do all housework. Men lie about everything. Women can be deceiving as well but the way men lie is absolutely unbelievable.

[@MelanieHamlett]

🤯🤯🤯🤯 I swear the stories I hear whenever I mention this make my skin crawl. Thanks for sharing 🥹💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Wow that is heavy level of lie 💩😔💯💯

[@islandgirl8067]

😡😡😡

[@UXtatic]

That pisses me off. My mum died because of cancer and he's playing games with it?

[@availanila]

This "men sabotage their health" thing hits so hard for me because: - the highest rates of forced polygamy in my country is when _she's_ disabled or chronically ill or their kids are... and yes polygamy or divorce. - a guy in my church was leaving his wife and tormenting her with the "woman that will bear me sons" all the while he ignored his health so much he was given extra benefits to retire and she couldn't mention his diet and all those worrying symptoms until he suffered a stroke and is now dependent on her and still financially abuslng her, ugh. - my aunt got HIV/AIDS from her husband who promptly left her coz "she is a prostitute that has killed me" she died struggling and shunned and now he has prostate cancer and has forced his sons and the woman he abandoned *30 years* ago to take care of him and get him treatment all the while abuslng them. - the highest rates of HIV/STI infections globally are in marriage and mostly introduced by men. - my cousin has back problejs from not getting the help (OT/PT) he needed as a baby and is predisposed to diabetes and high blood pressure (prematurely kulled his dad and most his cousin and aunts/incles from thst side of the family) yet refused to go to PT, eats whatever he wants and drinks whiskey with every meal, and has to fight his wife to take medication. He's tired of her nagging and is planning to leave her; I don't know why she's clinging to him so much. I can't imagine getting dumped by someone like that.

[@AlyssaIrvine]

I met a man that encouraged his wife to allow him to sleep around since she was going blind...yeah...

[@availanila]

@@AlyssaIrvine thank God you saw that BS for what it was. A lot of women either don't or refuse to see it. St a salon once done ladies were griping over this man who wouldn't cheat or marry a second wife making fun of her since she was disabled and one or more of their kids had gotten the condition to a milder extent. Then one of them started making fun of him for turning her down and being faithful to that "ugly misformed thing." She then asks me if I'm seeing anyone. These fools were jealous a disabled woman had a good guy and we're curious if disabled me had anyone... what tools.

[@rowenadoran2049]

My ex would roll out of bed, into the shower & out of the house to have a peaceful breakfast on the way to work leaving me unable to shower until he returned as my additional needs toddler & baby couldn’t be left even for 5 min. I had been getting up earlier & showering before him but he asked me not to as he didn’t like going into an already wet shower. This kind of nonsense wasn’t untypical… I look back now and can’t believe the behaviours I accommodated 🤦‍♀️

[@angelicaangel2624]

Their biggest lie of all is that they love/like/respect the woman they are with. THEY DON'T!! No matter what a woman looks like/ has/ says etc she will never really get true feelings from her man. She is a mere convenience and a tool to him at the most.

[@coolbreeze5683]

Most men are about transactions. If women were to act in that way, we're called gold diggers or manipulators... even if the guy has no gold to dig.

[@anarcho-communist11]

@@coolbreeze5683 People who act like they need things to be exactly 50/50 all the time tend to actually be takers.

[@GreenJadeEmpress]

Men project all their garbage on women

[@sunnidayz856]

I agree wholeheartedly

[@sunnidayz856]

​@@coolbreeze5683I've been saying this for a while now. Most men have a transactional mindset.

[@KicesiesVlog]

My ex had stomach problems that were entirely avoidable by following an appropriate diet. So he WAS suffering.... but by choice. (And kidney stones too. He had TERRIBLE ones but if he just took his meds he never formed them. I nursed him through countless surgeries before becoming disabled myself) He would sleep eat, I would hide or lock up the food. He would come home almost daily complaining "I ate something I shouldn't have. my tummy hurts, I'm going to bed" and then spend 8-16 hours between bed and the bathroom. So not only do men lie.... some men CHOOSE illness because they are either lazy or they enjoy what it affords them.

[@KicesiesVlog]

Oh yeah he also wouldn't use his sleep apnea machine so I kicked him to the guest room permanently. But then he'd need 20 hours of sleep on his days off because he wasn't really sleeping....! (but anytime I peeked in the room he seemed asleep.... likely just super light sleep, no REM, no deep)

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yes exactly! They would rather suffer than not be healthy. It seems to be a reflection of how much they hate themselves if you ask me

[@MelanieHamlett]

That sounds like such a nightmare. I’m so sorry 🥹🥹💕💕💕

[@txspacemom765]

OMG WE WERE MARRIED TO THE SAME PERSON! He claimed IBS, it was a dairy allergy. He kept eating dairy, in large quantities, and then telling me he had to sleep, I swear, an average of 12 -14 hours a day. EVERY freaking day! I went through 3 major "bowel" surgeries with him and the doctor even telling him CHANGE YOUR DIET! I had to hide food or just not buy it. He even told the doc the reason he was sick was because of my cooking. I'll post more in a separate comment.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@MelanieHamlettOr hate their partner, since they'll also be suffering.

[@mettamorph4523]

My dad called me on a Memorial Day, complaining of chest pains. I rushed over to his home only to see him walking to the corner store to buy lottery tickets. 😅 I now know it was a scheme to get his then lady friend to drop her holiday plans and cater to him. Never forget spending most of the day in ER with him, when he was just trying to create an emergency to get his ladyfriend's attention.

[@WeetchBeetch]

A big part of healing for me is understanding that abuse is abuse. Bc if someone drowned in a pool vs an ocean we wouldn't be quantifying the water, it's still a drowning. Even buckets have warning labels to prevent child drownings!

[@Biiku_]

I was raised by a mother who made me because she was in emotional pain and needed a person to fill a need. I was created to fulfill that need and was never able to do so because I was a baby and was punished for being needy. I'm 35 now and suffer from toxic shame and am still unraveling the profound trauma that is being used in this way. Please, go to therapy if your knee jerk reaction is rage when ever someone asks you to care for them, justified or otherwise, be they your own children or a needy friend or king baby. Just what I'm learning in case anyone else is suffering like I am.

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

I’m so sorry you had to suffer and go through this. Wish you the best, lots of love from Greece! 🙏💯💖💖💖

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

And thank you so much for sharing this painful experience with us here. 🙏💯💯💯💗

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thanks so much for sharing this with us 🥹🥹💕💕💕. More stories like this need to be shared bc people really don’t think about this enough

[@Biiku_]

@MelanieHamlett and there's no way to know because the problem is so profound and happens so early that there's no moment to really point to and say "this is why I'm like this" and leads to so many problems later on. It runs in families. Generation after generation. I've counted back to my great-great-great grandma of broken people making more broken people not knowing why or how to stop. But it stops with me. Hundreds of years of bullshit stops with me. I can't stop it all, and I tell my children that I will not get it all right, and they have every right to be mad at me for being broken and making them, but they won't have a parent telling them to "suck it up. Get over it. Be strong. I've had it worse." And be pressured to have kids of their own and then be left to have them on their own like I was. It ends with me.

[@Khaegch-favh]

Same and honestly it's a life/dealth sentence. She had no intention on me ever marrying or having my own family and sabotaged anything that would allow me to develop a sense of self. I'm also 35 and can't even date now. (If you're in Tampa we should start a group ugh)

[@jam_is_jammin]

“I can’t stay married to you. You’re dead weight. I might hurt MY back!” 😂 This guy made his pregnant wife do yardwork?! Unforgivable!

[@sarahwillmott7620]

My ex made me now the lawn pulling my 1 year old son in a stroller with the other hand while I was 6 months pregnant with twins because he refused to do anything and would yell at me that I needed to do it myself. At least I caught on quickly and moved on but not before he could inflict major emotional damage on me. That was 14 years ago and just one of many stories I could tell.

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

Mel dude in that post has IBS and purposely uses the bathroom where his wife showers they have two bathrooms. He even picks the lock. Forcing her to smell it while she showered. He doesn’t help with their three children. I love being single.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yes! I mention that mart later in the video! He’s way worse than we think. I bet he’s soooooo much worse too bc we only hear TWO examples. I think this woman is about to unpack a whole lot of trauma and abuse she had no idea she was enduring!!🥹🥹🥹

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

@@MelanieHamlett he is! Omg once he started that bathroom bs I would have quietly retained an attorney if not before. He acts infantized.

[@louhortonsculpture]

That back injury story you tell made me rethink everything. 💡 😒 So tired of weaponized pain/sickness.

[@MelanieHamlett]

💕💕💕😭💕💕💕

[@powerhouse2024]

I love how much we are learning from each other! The comments are GOLD too, I gain so much from reading the comments on these amazing women centered videos & content ❤

[@MelanieHamlett]

💕💕💕🙏🏻 Anthony and I both learn so much from these comments sections every day . Truly 🙏🏻💕

[@margaretjohnson6259]

indeed. every time i went on vacation hubby "punished" me. my best friend and i went to boston for a week and when we got back to her house, the place REEKED. her hubby left everything to rot and barely cleaned the litter boxes.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

I hope dem hubbies are exes

[@kikijewell2967]

My ex always played complaint Olympics. Every time I complained or felt pain, he would one-up me immediately. It literally took me years to realize it was all a power move and fake. I just couldn't imagine anyone would fake such a thing, to suck the sympathy out of the room for himself.

[@louhortonsculpture]

31:20 it is abuse. And the anger that may come out when you start realizing you need to leave. That’s so scary.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Exactly. Women often don’t know it’s dangerous or abusive until they face the truth of coercive control and start pushing back or they leave 🥹🥹🥹

[@LeilaniLight11709]

Scolding is to yell at someone. Scalding is the word for hot shower water. Thanks for your women's education. What the hell makes men so mean, and entitled? Entitled people can NOT love anybody! I used to work all day and then be expected to come home and cook a 3 course meal fresh, and then cut up melons for him for the next day. He wouldn't eat frozen leftovers . If he didn't like the dish (cube steak) he would THROW it on the rugs and leave it there for me to clean up. If he didn't like what I requested (to get a job) he would take a serrated knife to my chest and threaten to kill me. When I said I was unhappy, he just pretended that I didn't exist. It was hard getting out because he threatened to kill me if I left him, and he did try several times. I'm still here, and I doubt he still is, by the shape he was in at the last court date.

[@demigoth]

I'm so sorry all of that was done to you, and I'm so glad you escaped!

[@hernameisch3rry]

My SO doesn’t even bother to eat if I don’t tell him to. I stopped telling him/preparing about a year ago. His weight plummeted and it’s killed our sex life. I could see his entire spine and he’s just now getting back up to a normal weight. I have completely stopped ‘building’ with him thanks to you and other creators. Saving money to move out.

[@bdet313]

When you have bowel disorders, you deal with urgency. The fact that he takes the time to jimmy the lock instead of using the 2nd bathroom is unreal.

[@0hermitworm]

This makes me so sad. Like I have a disabled spouse and they fully participate in the household. There are things I can do more easily, but they will still do them if I'm not available. Or they will take care of as much as they can until I can get the rest. That's the difference between someone who is purposefully laying down flat and someone who is genuinely. your partner.

[@demigoth]

My partner is also disabled and does the majority of the housework. That was the deal. I only do those tasks after his surgeries/procedures. I made it clear up front that that was the deal, and if he ever felt it wasn't fair, the door was always open for him to leave. It's worked for us for almost a decade.

[@ptlahm]

This was triggering for me too. The partner not taking care of their health - even sabotaging it- and then the chores falling on me. Ugh! I started having a different attitude about it when he started taking care of himself.

[@MelanieHamlett]

I think a LOT of women can relate to this and it’s so so so upsetting to realize it was all manipulation and lies to exploit labor and control us on some level or by design

[@MelanieHamlett]

🥹🥹💕💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Yes I totally agree with you… 🙏💯💯💯

[@marys2406]

Men think "lying Is Freedom". Read this from a man on Reddit replying to another man who said he wanted to tell his girlfriend that he cheated on her. The another man replied back "Don't tell her, be FREE".

[@lolalilolily]

Hey Mel, I guess that was me, I'll happily repeat it for all once more: An internal publication for the Interior Design department of the Technical University Delft stated that a 70 year old man and a 20 year old woman have similar body strength Please remember that! -no links to provide, this was abt 25 years ago

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yesssss! That was you!!! Thank you so Much!!!!!

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Oh thank you so much for the reminder!! 😳👍💯💯❤️

[@louhortonsculpture]

That’s… super strong. I believe I was strong enough to flip a car when I was in my 20s. Also my experience with older men is that they are quite strong. I have no qualms asking them to help me move heavy stuff.

[@ashh1371]

I will not go out of my way to physically help men unless they are obviously over 75 or 80! Like one foot in the grave type of old. My dad is 62 and I’m 30. He has average muscles for a man his age. I have way more muscle mass than average for my age and gender (woman). My dad is still significantly stronger than me and his muscles are like 80% smaller than what they were 15-20 years ago. 😮

[@HipHopHoe707]

My ex had a heart condition. Refused to go to the doctor and then laid in bed for most of my pregnancy, whining and whinging when I ignored his condition because he just refused to fix it. Eventually he went to MY doctor for something unrelated. The doctor did an ECG and discovered a serious condition that could have killed him but it's easily medicated. He seemed to have told the doctor how heartless I treated him although he's so seriously ill, because afterwards the doctor was so hostile to me so that I had to look for another physician.

[@sarahjaye4117]

That’s so messed up 💙

[@Passions5555]

Did you set your doctor straight?

[@kaikai9652]

My dad was the kind of guy who wouldn’t take a sick day even though he was gonna give everyone in the office the flu. He didn’t fake injuries or illnesses, but he became a problem because he refused to ask for help and wouldn’t go to the doctor. I now think it was an aspect of toxic masculinity.

[@kaikai9652]

Also, LOVE the comment song!

[@ButterflyBree]

This is such an interesting thing. I didn't realize that so many males lied about being sick. Especially lying about chronic diseases like cancer, that's unfathomable. 😮😮 Years ago, I waa diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, when I was working at a "good government job" (where I was grossly underpaid). I believe the stress from work, emotionally abusive relationships with family, unhealthy friendships and romantic relationships led to my diagnosis. Recently, my physician's assistant convinced me to take prescription medicine to preserve my joints. He told me that I should've been in excruciating pain because I had so much inflammation. He said patients with a similar condition could barely walk. He's still in awe that I've been able to hike for the last several years, without any severe mobility challenges. My doctor is truly happy that my diagnosis hasn't stopped me from hiking. He said this is why patients have to he treated based on their individual needs and not cookie cutter medicine. I can't imagine lying about the mobility challenges that I occasionally have. Folks betta stop playing around with their health recklessly.

[@dalmalifemore]

There’s an new interview with Wim Hof on KZbin right now and he’s this guru on health so I thought ohh he must be in his 80s he looks so good NOPE he’s 65 and looks 65 or slightly older - he has hit the wall!! Men do not age well even when they are considered health gurus haha - why do we listen to men about health and why are most health studies only taking men into consideration it’s amazing how women are actually left out of the health conversation and research even though most men do not take care of their health and women’s health is so much more complex and different due to pregnancy and our reproductive system and not just that there are differences in women’s bodies compared to men and most doctors don’t know the difference unless they are women doctors.

[@anitaoneill8337]

Wim eats a standard diet. That’s why.

[@frappe1490]

Melanie thank you for this video, I realised things that went under my radar😅😅😅

[@MelanieHamlett]

You’re so welcome!! 💕💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you for your support !! 😊💕💕🙏

[@frappe1490]

You are supporting me, I am glad that simply consuming your well organised and important ideas counts as supporting you 😊💕🥰

[@MelanieHamlett]

@@frappe1490💕💕💕

[@leaczinkota1979]

Is this all men?

[@min_tea_]

Have a wonderful vacation!!

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thank you!! I’ll still be around but hopefully not quiiiiiite as much 😂

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you so much!! We’re enjoying Athens so far besides the heat wave. 😊🙏💯❤️❤️

[@islandgirl8067]

@@AnthonyBuisson-ug5ivWow, that’s on my bucket list!

[@camillesonwheelz]

My ex would sh*t with the door open repeatedly after MULTIPLE times of me asking him to NOT. Sometimes when I would be showering (gross!) in spite of me having a fit about it. He also would leave his belly button lint in the toilet or around the house places for me to find, also knowing that this drove me crazy. They don't care. The point is to pull you off focus and to get attention, no matter good or bad, or just outright wear you down so you don't object to the ridiculous crap they do. It IS abuse - it is disrespectful and denigrating.

[@lesliewit]

Remember that story I told you last week about bowing out of taking the kids while you were interviewing me? Welp turns out it's a typical, non painful side effect of that surgery that he can work through. And his job is delivering and setting up heavy equipment. But he couldn't allow our 14, year old and 17 year old to hang out his house, likely on their phones for a couple of hours😒. Maintain a HIGH level of skepticism over men's injuries. They either aren't that injured, or will ignore it until they hit rock bottom, never even attempting to get better until everyone is sick of it.

[@alexissdo]

It’s so nice to hear a good ending for once even if it started so horribly

[@MelanieHamlett]

Right?! I was SO touched by the niece’s part of the story 😭😭💕💕💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Yes absolutely!! We need some hope in all of that 💩. 👍😔💯

[@egresham02]

Like you mentioned in your video just because he not physically abusive but more mentally abusive, he is still doing damage to her. Dr. Ramani has mentioned this kind of behavior in her videos and talks about how emotional/verbal abuse can still affect your mental health by disrupting your nervous system. Thank you for mentioning this in your video, perhaps, more women and femme will start to realize that just because they don't hurt physically, they can still hurt you mentally.

[@fburnsDubstepEnderFox]

All of this with my unfather. 😥 Hope your vacay goes well! ❤🎉

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you !! 🙏💯💗💗

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thank you!! 💕💕💕

[@leeroyjenkins05]

My father's latest scheme is getting dentures. Funny enough, he faked getting one and my mother has been complaining about it. I'm sick and tired of her complaining and not doing anything about and still falling for his lies.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yes that’s the vicious cycle of many couples. Men do this inane stuff and then women tolerate it for years or even decades and complain as a way to feel better but like the men, don’t do anything to change it often. I have been stuck in that horrifying cycle myself. It’s toxic and also exhausting for people witness it too!

[@leeroyjenkins05]

@@MelanieHamlett They're truly a bad mix, and they wonder why me and my siblings are slowly going no contact with them. We're ending the cycle and this generation with us

[@robynsalaver4069]

I used to be an optician. One of our patients was a diabetic but refused to take care of himself. His vision kept getting worse because of diabetes, but he blamed us, claiming we made his glasses incorrectly. The doctor kept remaking his lenses for free. (I'll never understand why.) Eventually, the patient died. It was completely preventable. His stubbornness literally killed him.

[@deirdremorris9234]

Stubborness kills everyone! My own sister was having gut issues. I suggested gentle fasting, ditch the wine at night and increase probiotics. Nope. Now she has a stoma.

[@wmd40]

there needs to be a requirement to report these people for their own safety. the fact the doctor kept making the lenses over just reinforced the patient's entitlement and belief it was YOUR fault he didn't take care of his diabetes. my great uncle died the same way, lost both legs. my best friend's dad just got out of the hospital for blood clots from diabetes, he was in a coma multiple times in the past few years. we can't get him to change. nobody will do anything. yet somehow he gets treatment. when's the last time you saw a woman go blind from diabetes? or even lose a foot? it's so rare.

[@Redberylprincess]

That's why they use ADHD, ocd, blah, blah, blah to escape. It's what most of them do to justify their sheet* . So annoying.

[@Nilsil]

I'm happy for these women but yes my blood pressure went up first 😂

[@MelanieHamlett]

💕💕💕💕

[@limepiper3650]

Please make a video of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Is incredible to me how she is being demonized when HE is the problem.

[@constancep7632]

Ew, that husband is disgusting in every single way 🤢 Wishing you, Anthony and Moz a brilliant vacation! Bonnes vacances! Bisous!

[@MelanieHamlett]

Merci beaucoup!!💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Merci beaucoup Constance!! 😍🙏 Unfortunately Moz isn’t with us in Greece, but he’s having amazing vacations at my parents in the countryside. 😊👍❤️🌈

[@klfannbbb]

Was that Anthony doing backups on The Comment Song? 😆 Beautiful ❤

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Yes, it was me trying desperately to find the right harmony with Mel… 😅😁👍 Thank you! 🙏💖

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yes!!! His voice is way better than mine!!!

[@clairewallace4730]

Is that Anthony doing harmony? Sounds good!

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Yes! Thank you for noticing my hard attempt to do harmony. 🥹🙏❤️ It’s encouraging !! 💕🌈

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yes!! He’s got a great voice doesn’t he?!

[@subratanandy2142]

​@@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv you're good .

[@mizh6163]

🎸🎸🎸 🪇🪇🪇 happy vacation!!! 🇬🇷 Thanks for sharing this one, Mel!

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thank you!!! 🙏🏻💕💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you so much for being here. 🙏💗💗💗

[@recklessmermaid]

My ex husband hurt his back a couple years into our marriage and it completely changed him. He used it as an excuse for EVERYTHING. This story triggered me too. He never really did anything to find a solution, it was just an excuse to play video games, refuse to do anything fun or useful, and be a jerk, because “he’s in pain”. In retrospect, I have injuries too; I grew up in a ranching family and we get knocked around as part of the job. I was raised by some pretty tough people and I’m used to injuries being real but temporary. Injuries that persist for months get diagnosed: carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, torn rotator cuff etc. to this day I still don’t know what tf was wrong with his back for 10 years and counting. For the first few years I was sympathetic but I finally got tired of the endless complaining and told him I couldn’t hear it anymore; I have days where I’m in a pain a lot too but I don’t feel the need to whine about it multiple times per day. Now when men DONT complain about their back to me it’s a major green flag.

[@DaliaLarrier]

Never have I ever taken care of a boyfriend , that said he was sick , a couple of them even openly admitted they faked illness to get attention . Was always called heartless and mean but when I was sick those same men's only concern was when I'd be well enough for sex . So a mere boyfriend no , a husband maybe I'll give him 2 painkillers and a glass of water .

[@emilyfeagin2673]

I hope that poster has her own cash stash where he can’t find it. And had cash I gave my mom and she put it an account for ne They can and will steal from from you when they “ need” something

[@powerhouse2024]

The comment duet!! Love the baritone addition! Anthony coming in clutch 🎉❤

[@MelanieHamlett]

😁😁😁😂💕💕💕🙏🏻 I’m so delighted to hear that people made it that far!

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Haha thank you so much, I did my best but there always room for improvement! 😅🙏❤️💯

[@lkf8799]

There's a couple I've seen on KZbin and her husband got a major knee injury twice - both times right after she gave birth to their children. So not only couldn't he help her but she had to take care of him too. After the second time you can see the resentment she has for him. I feel so bad for her and I hope he can make it up to her. People in the comments are being critical of her treatment of him because he is really sweet but she is doing all the work and bad enough it happened once - but twice? He was doing reckless recreational activities. Completely avoidable. And she even told him to be careful so she wouldn't struggle like last time and he messed around and got injured anyway. He even almost died as a kid climbing a big rock formation and fell on the way down and crushed his face and had to get reconstruction surgeries. You'd think he'd be more careful after that. Nope. Tons of surfing and skateboarding, etc.

[@janerecluse4344]

Yeah, "please don't fuck up your knee AGAIN while we have a new baby" is a very reasonable ask!

[@laurafranco2139]

I may be the minority but i really like the movie The Legend of Billy Jean.

[@MelanieHamlett]

I loved that movie! Fair is fair! 👊🏻

[@amourtabb7859]

So sweet that the neice is helping her. I love when the generations work together😊

[@cortneyjayy]

Ooh a backup singer. Nice ❤

[@MelanieHamlett]

😂😂😂💕💕💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you!! 😅🙏💕💕

[@Blgenx]

Yes MH 👩🏻‍🏫👑 with the “Miss Peggy” shirt 👚 on (friggin hilarious 😂) I made it to the comment 🎶 💯 I’m so happy you get to see your family 🎊 I wish you and Anthony the best trip ever ‼️‼️‼️ No one deserves it more 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍 Safe travels

[@MelanieHamlett]

Yessss! The comments song commentary! I live for it!! 😁😁💕💕💕💕 and thank you so much for!!

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you so much for your kind words and your support! We’re having a great time in Athens so far, beside the heat wave!! 😅👍💯💖

[@Raven2322]

Love the comments song and the use of instruments. You always make such great video.

[@ms.marvelous7019]

Hi Mel👋🏽 side question but I like your shirt , just wondering why it says Miss Peggy instead of Miss Piggy 😂Also , was wondering if you made a video about how you knew you were ready to be married and what the green flags were ? Your videos are great 👍🏽 Edit - just got to the part in the video where you talk about your shirt 😂😂😂

[@Redberylprincess]

Like sheet* has gone down since that Twitter thread of boyfriends allegedly hating their girlfriends. SMH.

[@leeche87]

This performatively shitting husband is hilarious

[@awakekate3064]

I can never be ill or injured w/o my SO comparing to his sickness or injury. I get injured in a car accident, him: I get it cause my back hurts every day.

[@devynjohnson317]

Man I love the Legend of Billie Jean! It’s on KZbin for free

[@bottomofastairwell]

i don't always comment, but I ALWAYS watch your videos to the end. every single one. and i absolutely ADORE your comment songs. They're so silly and fun. you're my kind of people, and honestly, i feel like you and I would be good friends if we ever met each other in real life. please don't ever stop singing your comment songs, cuz they add so much joy, especially to what can otherwise be heavy topics. love ya Mel

[@greenlady2233]

Another day, another truth about the deep rooted patriarchy we are deconstructing.

[@sonyaweir1135]

YES. Start a book. One said,"heart attack". Another said, I'm out. '

[@gwen7870]

Could you make a video on examples of coercive control and entitlement? What we've been conditioned to think is normal, but really should not put up with?

[@kikijewell2967]

Less than a minute in, and I go, "oh, so that's why they leave women who are actually sick."

[@kikijewell2967]

This is also why doctors think women are faking illness and pain. Except women actually tolerate pain better than men do.

[@corecenteredcare6038]

I love hearing about women supporting women. 🙌 to her niece. Have a great vacation in Greece!

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thanks so much! The niece story truly made my day!!! It made a horrifying story have a feel good end in with hope. 💕💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Yes totally, the niece part is saving the horrible start of this story. 😔👍💯 Thank you for the vacations, so far so good!! 😍🙏

[@mariaquezada5543]

Hi Melanie! You are a blessing and are changing my relationship with men drastically since I found you a few weeks back. Would you please do a vid on the following if you think I am onto something, please. I really feel as though participation trophies were the downfall for 60 and under men, like they deserve a participation trophy from us and the world for "tryIng" and "intending" instead of doing and succeeding. They tell us we emasculated them for not giving them a participation trophy, instead we shine a light on their lack of (non-toxic) masculinity instead of developing those traits. Men want us to deny our reality and pretend they are succeeding in our relationships. I feel this all carries over from participation trophies in childhood. Is this something you have already made a vid on...if not word you put your spin on it. I feel like I know...but your insight is so much more fun, lol. Also, there is this brilliant woman My Michigan Mittens on KZbin. How she has only 253 subscriber is beyond me!...as how you ONLY have 24k is ridiculous! Would you please look at some of her content and elaborate on those topics with your humor and sass. She doesn't use flutes or puppets for emphasis. I need that levity in my world. You crack me up! Thank you!

[@risitascositas1699]

Is that Anthony singing backup on the comments song? 😆😊💓🥰

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

I appreciate her courage and her deciding to do different in spite of her 20 year investment. I relate - as I left a husband who was abusive a year ago and before leaving was at the brink of death. He had slowly killed my spirit - like a slow drip - tiny cuts and then would take a dagger (metaphorically speaking) - the tiny cuts are worse than the daggers but plummet you fast because of the damage of the tiny wounds - I grew up in a evangelical type church plus my Dad is a Narc with a co dependent mother - Thank you for sharing these information -

[@maef7026]

Have fun, Melanie! Where are you staying in Greece? I just came back from Krete a few days ago, the weather was fantastic!😁😁

[@Rose-kj7rz]

Comment for the algorithm!

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank youuuu!! 🙏❤️🌈❤️

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thank you so much!💕💕💕

[@francesdobbins2964]

This video is so cruel, he hates her.

[@recklessmermaid]

My ex husband hurt his back a couple years into our marriage and it completely changed him. He used it as an excuse for EVERYTHING. This story triggered me too. He never really did anything to find a solution, it was just an excuse to play video games, refuse to do anything fun or useful, and be a jerk, because “he’s in pain”. In retrospect, I have injuries too; I grew up in a ranching family and we get knocked around as part of the job. I was raised by some pretty tough people and I’m used to injuries being real but temporary. Injuries that persist for months get diagnosed: carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, torn rotator cuff etc. to this day I still don’t know what tf was wrong with his back for 10 years and counting. For the first few years I was sympathetic but I finally got tired of the endless complaining and told him I couldn’t hear it anymore; I have days where I’m in a pain a lot too but I don’t feel the need to whine about it multiple times per day. Now when men DONT complain about their back to me it’s a major green flag.

[@lamourpinnock297]

That has also been my experience with men.

[@MelanieHamlett]

💕💕💕🥹🥹🥹I’m so sorry

[@Ackee2711]

It's never too late to get out. Good for her!

[@angelamoore8161]

She also wrote the female brain had I read the male brain before getting married….

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

👍💯💗💗

[@megdelaney3677]

🐝🐝🐝🐝

[@MelanieHamlett]

💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

🙏💖🌈thank youuu🌈💖🙏

[@RebeccaWorters]

I love the comment song! Have fun in Greece!

[@MelanieHamlett]

😂💕💕💕 yes you made it!!! 💕💕

[@chankinlok64]

Love that top! 🐷

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

😍🙏💯💯💖

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thank you! The Peggy thing is so funny to me!!

[@Sizantoyi]

Love the guitar.. comment song's getting funner and funner🎉🎉 This story was triggering but uplifting.

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thanks so much! I’m glad you made it to the comments song too! 😂💕💕💕💕

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you for reaching the comment song!! 😍🙏💗💗

[@TheSub2rainen]

1. I never saw “Legend of Billie Jean” somehow, but I randomly say, “Fair is Fair!” in the accent. 2. Yay Piggy! 3. I think B&B did this letter, because she doesn’t usually do advice columns. I cannot imagine telling your pregnant wife to mow the lawn. He’s too tall…ok, but her center of gravity is all fukokta, especially with the twins! 4. An 18 year old and 6 year old twins = She’s going to be actively parenting minors for at least 30 years. Haven’t finished, so I don’t know if she has older or younger kids than the 3 mentioned. 5. Glad she’s dropping the dead weight.

[@Hugshoney6680]

That joint ending!!!❤😂 . This broadcast made me so sad. I am learning so much now that if I had realized that all those things were not me... I might have unalived myself!! It's so painful remembering some of the things. I told someone who I had recently met about me wanting to unalive myself, and she immediately found a tribe to guide me and my two children (4 and 10 at the time). The things that some of these men will do to you... smh. There are so many women (as I look around me) that are suffering that you feel so helpless.

[@jam_is_jammin]

I wonder if he sabotaged her birth control method to get her pregnant with twins? I can’t imagine a woman who spent her first pregnancy with no support would plan another pregnancy after her first child was already a preteen or teenager. What an awful guy.

[@thelocalartisanguide7937]

A suggestion, if you can have some shorter videos during the week where your audience feels, "Oh I have time for that now." Like 20 to 30 minutes and then the rest can be long. Lately I have not been looking at videos (all around) when I see it's long. I can only do videos that are 50 minutes plus once or twice a week.

[@annmarieknapp]

Happily 4B!!!

[@anabelsama]

That man hates her SO SO much

[@MarinaM-o6p]

YOU ARE SUCH A FRESH BREATH FOR TRUTH SPEAKING ……NEVER BELIEVE WHAT A MAN SAIS …..ONLY BELIEVE HOW HE TREATS YOU ……

[@ivanaisasi]

Love all your videos (smart and funny)🧸

[@AnthonyBuisson-ug5iv]

Thank you for your support ! 😊🙏💗💗

[@MelanieHamlett]

Thanks so much!!! 💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@pursue513]

❤ Referring to the men's muscle/strength comparison comment you mentioned i thought i read it was a 70 yr old male strength is [comparable] to a 20 yr old female's strength...i m really appreciating your work this is such important business...hoping you enjoy your vaca!!!!

[@_shannons]

I knew the story! Tells you something. Can we hear more about this dynamic in the workplace? Relationships with men I can stear clear of in the romance department, but at work? I'm surrounded (STEM, ugh).

[@continuousself-improvement1879]

I've been in a relationship with a guy who lied that he has a Bachelor's Degree (I have a Master's), even though he knew that the guy I dated before him just has a high school degree so he knew that I don't make a big deal about it. He just lied because he can, for some imaginary clout. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️