Men living life on the down low

Sexuality is a spectrum and many freely express their love, but not everyone is so open. Who are these people living a double life on the down low and how does this lifestyle affect their relationships with potential partners. Our guests have had their fair share of experience with DL partners, and get right into this hot topic.

[@spiritualvibrations2825]

No excuse to live on the dl. Too many bm are into said lifestyle.

[@jay-kq5kv]

Was this on live tv?

[@Jacobytru]

I’m gay myself and open with it. I cannot hide it. I don’t mess with DL men. It’s just too much that come with it and I want a genuine relationship not some late night booty call and sweet nothings . Been there done that & learned my lesson

[@sonitawong7993]

My Gay friends have saved me and other Women from outing DL's, I did not realize how dangerous DL's are. to straight women and Gays...Thank You...

[@Jacobytru]

@@sonitawong7993 Don’t out them in public, maybe in private to whoever he’s dealing with. Just don’t mess around with them at all because it’s not worth messing around with a man that’s unstable and not sure of himself.

[@garyhiggs9764]

This is crazy yall need to repent🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@99badabing]

Repent cleanse yourself be real. Prayers

[@michaelturner2177]

You are talking about yourself. Are you sure you're not gay?

[@Mikas803]

Sickening

[@zztopdog]

Open relationship? Healthy boundaries? Please get tested

[@SHONWINTERS]

Please get tested!!!

[@myrtlemoore7611]

What I'm saying is that God didn't tend for man to control woman or a man and if you can only Express yourself sexually and that's how you get off then you're not loving because man does not need to love only by sex That does not make him a man to have sex

[@mahfuzab3355]

100% Get tested instead of testing waters.

[@kiaraditmasa]

I live in Cleveland Ohio and dls are everywhere they have multiple baby mommas play football and box. Have deep voices.tribal tattoos so get on PREP ladies

[@BacklTrack]

lol well.. yaknow if you're dating a white dude you have to worry about it less. Asians even less less.

[@Traysee379]

Wth is really going on? Dl is running rampant.

[@D-Will2k]

I used to live in Cleveland.

[@miaflowers3572]

Repent by accepting JESUS CHRIST into your life! ❤

[@Kim-ze5gc]

​@@miaflowers3572 Amen

[@Thaddeus-ml8if]

So sick. Open in a 5 year relationship. And that woman has the nerve to say “I love this”.

[@Octaviamorris77]

On the DL is gross but the guys on here I respect for being real with it

[@lovelv1278]

What a sick twisted society we live in!!

[@whisk3825]

This is why people get killed then we wounder what happened

[@sherrymichaels3170]

You will reap what you sow. If you sow in the flesh.....of the flesh you will reap corruption.

[@user-yv9fq5ym9w]

Are only black men on the DL? It seems very popular in the culture.

[@candideggplant1575]

Anyone of any skin tone/culture could be a closeted homosexual/bisexual, married to or with a woman who they may or may not be into, to cover up their homo/bisexuality, it isn't an exclusively black thing that only exists in the black community

[@drecool85]

No. But black people are obsessed with men’s sexualities. I literally know white bisexual men in committed relationships with women.

[@spiritualvibrations2825]

It does seem to be that way.

[@candideggplant1575]

Absolutely not. You're naive if you think only black men are closet cases. Plenty of senators, politicians, and regular "happily married" men are secretly with men or have been with men in secret while maintaining the outward appearance of a straight guy

[@narcee1550]

Oh no! Men of all races are on the DL, no one race has a monopoly on this lifestyle...

[@cozmiqueme9918]

I've done several videos on DL men but not to bash them or put them down but to educate the sistas and to hopefully encourage these guys to man-up and live authentically! Also, I am a seer and I knew that this would be one of the most dangerous taboo social issues we as a society will face, IF we don't change the climate because like it or not, there are far more men living on the DL than there are openly gay and bisexual men.... Far more! Now, let the implications of this sit in. Great show!

[@D-Will2k]

So true

[@fayseverin2305]

It’s up to the women to not put up with that lifestyle and kick to the curb. If he wants to sleep with a man he should live with that man. He should never marry and have kids.

[@gailainsley6939]

It always comes out in some way.

[@JFlooo-bj6wm]

This pissing me off because you are putting people's lives at risk being dl. Come out. I respect men who are open about their sexuality !

[@tyasialacy3869]

Factsssss

[@missynorth7027]

This is sad..

[@jasonfallel8829]

no ! you are sad and lonely. This is where you lurk

[@winterblue8212]

@missynorth7027 yes it is very sad.

[@melvinpervis6678]

Very dangerous lifestyle

[@gqg741]

Being a DL❓

[@ijustwannabehappier-v4973]

yes very dangerous. These men are endangering womens lives and they dont care about spreading all these nasty diseases. @@gqg741

[@Devistech]

Yeah HIV/AIDS

[@ijustwannabehappier-v4973]

yeah@@gqg741

[@jay-kq5kv]

For the careless

[@alove7851]

This is why there's a diagnosis attached to this shhh.

[@anabelsanchez4605]

These comments. Bisexuality exists. If a person is this way they should stay single. Or find a partner who knows about it and accepts it. And together they can agree upon what and when it’s ok so feelings and egos get less hurt.

[@LoliLoli83]

Yes it does exist but it's not really too many men willing to admit that they go both ways.

[@NezterBedford]

According to the holy bible ho mo and bisexuals shouldn't exist...at all.

[@ABc-nu6jb]

HIV exist too an is an epidemic also among bw due to all this down low sh,, bm r out of control

[@SHONWINTERS]

Agreed ❤

[@kayabe856]

No I think it’s lust and perversion. Some people just want it all.

[@christinafernandez623]

Congratulations I'm glad you're not hurting females and lying to them God bless be happy

[@SHONWINTERS]

They don't care about hurting others...ONLY themselves. 😢

[@mrxces69]

He cant lie to anybody. he looks gay from head to toe.

[@kiranholt3296]

God does not and will not bless ANYONE who behaves this way. He tells us in his word the Bible that homosexuality is a detestable act. Leviticus 18:22

[@user-ge8jr4sx8y]

You females have to make everything about you 😂 Get over yourself

[@diedrawashington9695]

They are hurting females if they are sleeping with someone's husband or boyfriend 😒

[@leehines1260]

This is sick and degrading I would never!

[@ciel222]

The hate and bigotry that you learned are sick , educate yourself

[@leehines1260]

@@ciel222 I have little to no interest. In what you typed. 🙂✌🏾

[@ciel222]

EDUCATE yourself , before you write something that doesn't make sense

[@Jerry-xs1uz]

ATLANTA GEORGIA IS 💯 PERCENT FULL OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF DOWNLOW BLACK MEN AS WELL AS LOS ANGELS CA

[@Wellwtfallthenamesaretooken]

Bout to book my flight 🤪

[@Just4uJules]

They’re everywhere

[@kayabe856]

Dallas Texas

[@D-Will2k]

😂😂

[@candideggplant1575]

Big cities usually are pretty gay or have a gay scene

[@marlenereed7623]

Twisted world.. 😢😬😒💔

[@leannbuggs888]

These new who messwith people's husband's are no better than these side chics. SMH

[@briannabogans4608]

Lol these men now have side chicks and side niggas

[@ciel222]

GREAT conversation ❤️❤️❤️ Homophobia is the main reason that cause a man or woman who is bisexual to stay closeted and pretend to be heterosexual . It is not good for society at all , and it can affect you if you are heterosexual no matter your social class , race etc , you can be involved with someone who is bisexual DL and think the person is heterosexual . EDUCATION is very important , IGNORANCE , lack of EDUCATION can make someone who is heterosexual to be homophobic. Some people are born gay , bisexual , heterosexual , pansexual , asexual and people who have gender identity who are trans. It's important to EDUCATE and to understand how humans are created and understand the world we are in.

[@chitownfan06]

​@@caspianblue222I agree 100%

[@aliross2720]

A lot of the time these DL sound like they are narcissists and a lot of narcissists are fluid because they have no identites and are fluid in everything aslong as the obtain narcissistic supply. The way they have no stable core self and wear different masks is the same reason they are able to compartmentalize different aspects of themselves and their life so well. Sleeping with other men is also a reflection of sleeping with themselves and they are self obsessed. They also have deep feelings of self hatred and shame in general(not about being gay but who they believe they are which is worthless) and have a false self they use to cope woth that. If being gay doesn't alighn with the narcissists false self and what they want to see themselves as and project onto the world then they are going to hide that. It's not really about what the truth is, it's about what you can make other people believe the truth is. these people have no real truth and no real self, they are just living moment to moment tryin g to survive(with their severe psychological dysfunction) and get their needs met. These men show very little empathy and consideration for the anyone else's feelings and are quite willing to use and string them along for their own ends. I think some of these guys wouldn't want to date men openly even if their family and friends accepted it because they like their lifestyle of being able to play the "straight guy" and the thrill of doing something taboo in secret. They like leading double lives and I think as narcissists it makes them feel smart and superior to trick and fool other people around them. Narcissists like having a hareem of sources of narcissistic supply that don't know about each other so they can have their cake and eat it and to help fill that empty void inside them. Narcissistis also cannot create, regulate or sustain their own self-worth. Without a constant supply of validation and attention from others, the narcissist's self-worth cannot be regulated and will drain away. Because they can create no self-worth of their own and cannot sustain whatever they receive from others, it does not last long and they are soon teetering on the brink of collapse again. The behavior and needs of narcissists usually coincide with how they receive and process this narcissistic supply. This is the supply of admiration, sympathy, attention, sex, power or whatever it is they need to validate themselves as worthy human beings.Sex (and anything else) only matters to narcissists if it is how they receive various forms of validation/narcissistic supply. These people exist in the narcissist's life solely for what they can give. There is no true interest in them as people or what they need., and not only is there no healthy give and take, there is no true give and take at all, because even when the narcissist appears to be giving, they are taking because of what is called mirroring. Through the process of mirroring, the narcissist presents a "good" image of themselves to someone and receives approval, admiration, sympathy or whatever from the other person in return. It is done only so that the other person "reflects" positive feelings about the narcissist back to them like a mirror - which they then process into temporary self-worth. It's the only way they have to create any, because they cannot create their own "positive feedback" or Supply the narcissist is seeking from others doesn't always mean things that feel good to the other person. It means things which feel good to the narcissist, and these may not be the same thing., the "good" image they are presenting of themselves doesn't necessarily mean what we think of as a "good person," though it often is. It just means something that will create the reaction they are looking for from others.. The life of the pathologically narcissistic person is a performance of one for one by one, and other people are the props narcissists use to make the fiction more believable to themselves. If others believe it, that makes it more real. And when it's more real, they can believe it and convert it into self-worth - at least for a time. This is the function of the narcissistic harem. They are kept and farmed like a herd, to be milked for whatever it is they can give the narcissist and left out to graze when they are not needed. Because pathologically narcissistic people require input and cooperation of others to function, keeping a harem is not just a vanity move or their way of flexing their proverbial muscles. In a very real way, it is resource management, or even hoarding, that is in many ways no different than stocking your pantry with dry goods. If you understood your pantry to be as bottomless as the narcissist's needs are, then you will understand how much it would take to fill it. Narcissists exist in survival mode all the time. This creates a deep-seated, pervasive insecurity about their own ability to survive and because of that, they endeavor to manipulate and control people in order to make sure their needs will be met. The fact that narcissists are dependent on others means that other people are actually resources for narcissists, like food and water. Objects, in other words - but necessary ones. If survival depends on others, then others must be controlled to ensure that they will do their part. This is one reason triangulation between resources can happen. It's not just about wanting to get away with lies or continue on with bad behavior. It's deeper than that. The narcissist wants to be sure to control the situation as much as possible and prevent exposure of things about them that would disrupt the flow of validation they need from these people. For example, if Jimmy knows something about Bobby that Bobby thinks makes him look bad, Bobby will do what he can to keep Jimmy away from his other resources so that Jimmy doesn't contaminate them with this "bad image" of him and cause that flow of validation that he needs - that supply - to change or dry up. This is actually very similar to the behavior of young children on the playground and can include keeping people separate or compartmentalizing them away from each other, turning them against each other, playing them off each other, smearing and discrediting Jimmy behind his back in the hope that this causes people to distrust him or not listen to him, discarding Jimmy totally and more. If it is a group of people who are known to each other, Bobby will do what he can to control the information they receive about him. For example, if the group is people at his job, he may make sure to never bring his partner around the group. He may tell members of the harem that they cannot be friends with his partner or family or he will no longer deal with them. He may demonize people outside the group who know things about him that he doesn't want people in the group to find out. This is all about securing resources for survival. Trangulation can show up in all different forms with narcissists because there is nothng that feeds their ego more than people fighting over them and it kind of places more value on them to other people. puts them into a power position, controlling the other people involved and the situation in general. It helps to feed them esteem and self-worth as well, because they have taken a position of confidante of both parties, creating the illusion that they are important. Triangulation, just like everything else the pathologically narcissistic person does, is about them and them only. They are manipulating and moving people around like pawns on a chess board, arranging them in the way that best serves the narcissist's needs. There's an old rule of thumb in marketing which states that if you can make something appear to be in high demand, you will create a sense of urgency in people and they will feel more desire for it. That's why you see those graphics on commercials and things like that which say "Only this many more of this item left!" or "Get it while it lasts!" They are trying to create a sense of urgency in you, to make you believe that if you don't act right now, you will lose out. They are making the item appear more attractive by making it appear that many people want it. This is the basis of romantic triangulation. You will always want something more when you are afraid you will lose it, or when you believe that you have won it. It's just human nature. This is the way pathologically narcissistic people artificially inflate their value. They may intentionally manufacture a love or relationship triangle - either real or implied - in order to create the idea that they have more value. We often see narcissistic partners doing this with their ex partners or friends. Other people are thrown into the mix in order to make the narcissist appear to be in demand. This creates competition between people for the narcissist's attention. The narcissist then becomes what they dearly want to be: an object worthy of fighting over. People are vying for their attention. People are jealous and envious because of them. People are being controlled and dominated and manipulated by the narcissist. Nothing feeds their ego more. Their self-worth skyrockets and they will do everything they can to prolong and protect the situation. Once a pathologically narcissistic person experiences being the coveted love object, they may create this situation again and again. Narcissists don't expend effort on something unless it really matters to them within their limited scope, and survival definitely does. It's the entire focus of their existence. Perhaps the worst part of this is, most of them don't realize any of these things are true, or why they do the things they do. They are just doing what they have always done in the way they've always done it. This is how they survive.

[@gqg741]

FACTS

[@ijustwannabehappier-v4973]

DL is mostly closted gay men, not bisexuals.

[@cozmiqueme9918]

@ciel222 You are right! I am a seer and have done several videos on this matter. A large portion of our social issues and the state of humanity is rooted in men (and women) who are living a life of lies and are harboring tremendous shame, self hatred and contempt -- this mindset trickles and spreads! The energy and deception created in these situations is negatively affecting and 'infecting' society and our bloodline in multi-dimensional ways -- which is too deep and layered to explain here.

[@Sandland113]

I had down low men here in Miami hit on me and I'm a straight man,I have stories!

[@tincredible]

The guy on the right threw me for a loop when he said that DL men want to sneak off late in the night for some passion. From what I've observed, a lot of DL men would prefer to meet in the daytime or early evening....like lunch breaks, while out running errands on a weekend, right after work, etc. Late at night, most married men are home with their wives and kids and can't get away. I'm not sure how easy it is to sneak out the house without the person who sleeps in bed with you every night finding out. Maybe he's referring to DL men who date and have relationships with women, but aren't cohabitating with the women with whom they are in relationships.

[@Just4uJules]

Yes , 💯. My ex was sneaking around on his lunches, before/after work, and during errands. I had to become a detective

[@cozmiqueme9918]

You both are right... It all depends on the man and his arrangement. If he's married, he will move one way but if he's single or just dating, he will move differently.

[@Devistech]

Why do it at all though? It’s people pleasing during the midst of the situation it’s another party being hurt in the process. (If that makes sense)

[@tincredible]

@@Devistech I'm not condoning it. I'm just saying what it is. Be that as it may, I'd have to write a whole essay to explain why men are on the DL, but the short list is societal pressure, homophobia, the pressure on men to conform to an image, etc. In some cases, men who have sex with men are damned if they do and damned if they don't. They get berated for being acknowledge that they are gay, and they ALSO get berated is they try to hide it by being with women. At the end of the day, the world just needs to accept the fact that not everyone is heterosexual. If we do that, fewer men will feel the pressure to be with women knowing they like the opposite.

[@jay-kq5kv]

Oh they'll find a way

[@99badabing]

Be yourself don't hide it you deserve to be happy honesty is the best way if the connection is solid and the loyalty is negotiable with reason. Only if all the expectations are in harmony. In truth, I am a heterosexual DF in love with DL DM total respectful union. Vest wishes to all devine connections

[@jay-kq5kv]

Is this on the mf news!?

[@lakeeshakelly632]

It fuckin SHOULD BE!! CAUSE THIS IS A DAM NIGHTMARE!!!!

[@imonlyhuman2381]

A man will definitely show you the signs of being on the DL.

[@SHONWINTERS]

Do tell...?! 😂😅😂

[@Lola54117]

Yes, they date many women as a cover up, and have multiple IG ,FB accts ,TS sites, Grindr etc like my ex that still denied all the evidence I got on him. They aren't very sexual many times cause they are a sex addict messing with so many, and they take care of their needs on video chat as well.

[@denatora7142]

Diddy is the epitome of what a dl ​@@SHONWINTERS

[@Kim-ze5gc]

​@@Lola54117 Wow, crazy world we live in

[@Blissedx]

Signs are:If he treats women poorly, his woman is uglier than him and he makes her pay bills, if he always outside, many kids with multiple babymommas, big one is : if he prefers to date outside of his race 🥴🥴🥴

[@marquisabyrd6277]

He and his Dad has a passive relationship..and it works for them. Dad doesn't ask questions and Son doesn't offer feedback.... I'm presently waiting for own place. My time here is done , I will tell the yg. Man, upon My departure that... I'm ALWAYSZ just a phone call away 😢🙏🏾 🌹

[@suwaneerichardson9742]

Why do you have so many different partners? Why not a single partner?

[@lawannalw]

Because it's all about sex. Listen to them!

[@lynnehorizon5532]

Wake up to the real world.

[@D-Will2k]

Unfortunately, this is reality. Life goes on though.

[@AO-JUDAH]

A good point to cover would also be the exposure of closeted men that are not pursuing a relationship with the opposite sex. Nobody should care about your sexuality if they themselves are not interested in you and you are not pursuing anything with them (the person doing the exposing). If a closeted man or a man that is unsure of his ID is by themselves and minding their business women still feel the need to out them. THAT is an issue in itself because you are forcing them to choose early or to take on the ID that you want them to have.

[@itsaprilsfool]

Now THIS is what i recognize gets heavily overlooked and kept silent. It's as if it serves a purpose for exposures

[@drecool85]

Yep. This is exactly why men just choose to remain DL. You can’t win either way. If you come out you’re ostracized. If you stay in you’re ostracized. So why bring on unnecessary drama just to make others uncomfortable, when you’re scarred and traumatized? Women should just understand that humans are not all straight… no matter how masculine a man is, or how feminine a woman is… it’s been that way since the beginning of time, and guess what? It’ll never change.

[@marquisabyrd6277]

I believe someone close to ME is on the DL....He was involved with a 18 year of Trans Women when He was 18.... He un knowingly thought She was born a Woman. He's Now 18 and have had 50 plus girls in and through our home for the last 2 years.... Never does the same girl returns. They say over and next 😢. My guy ... His Dad believes His Son is a big Playa. I see the clothes, in our laundry room....not lots but a few pieces and 1 piece, I see it every several months, now there are other pieces. I've asked,just being Supportive and He immediately stated Oh NO, I like girls. It's not a problem, I am very concerned for his health, he has had STD's . I have spoken with an openly gay yg. Teen male learning his bedroom early morning. I 🙏🏾 every protect yourselves and be REAL to you and others 🙄

[@marquisabyrd6277]

18 year old when he was 13.... He is just now 18

[@earlrodgers8124]

Love is a battlefield lol

[@danawhite6458]

He is not on the down low dl he just doesn't want his wife to know what;s going on Down low means you are gay but you haven't came out of the closet. That man just wants his cake and eat it too He's got a wife in public but he likes to do other things in private. They should have a dictionary or text book on these terms.

[@ABc-nu6jb]

Disgusting frauds

[@SHONWINTERS]

That's true. I use to say they were all cowards and the fear of the truth is in their own head. We, women, do NOT care but the lying is ridiculous AF. Have a Blessed Day and BE HAPPY WITHOUT THEM. 😊😊😊

[@briannabogans4608]

What fk no! Down low means his ass has a family or is in a relationship/married with a woman, but has sex with men! That’s down low. Not wanting people to know is called hiding in the closet.

[@ijustwannabehappier-v4973]

Do you maybe know that bisexuality exists? No?

[@badgalkia10]

So that’s dl he doesn’t want his wife or anyone to know. Down low lifestyle.

[@TheRealDebbieH]

At 930am in the morning?

[@shirleyguinyard8183]

OMG!!!

[@larrylovejr82]

Disgusting

[@portcity1964]

Women are doing the same ,but they want speak on it .

[@p.capes1]

This chick is 🔥

[@aubreywalker202]

Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

[@sweetrose19]

I don’t understand why bm do this. It appears many of the are gay to begin with, so it’s okay to come out

[@joeladams5061]

Interesting point of view. I didn't meet my "DL" on an app. It was at work. In the beginning, he would tell me "I'm not gay." Then, he became more and MORE submissive and NOW he wants to cuddle. I like him and he's been THE only guy I been with for 1 yr. There's no labels with us. It's just, when I'm available: and he on one: we do what it do. There is a trade-off. I ALWAYS have to pick him up, buy him weed and take him back home. We have amazing safe $ex tho.

[@kassondrasmith5230]

Sick af all you men that fk men is sick chp.1 vs.23 REPENT

[@NOHSAL]

Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile.

[@a.michelleridley-franklin2005]

Mandatory public sexual preference identifying 🎉🎉proud boys

[@normanmatura6769]

It's called being in the closet oh my God really

[@D-Will2k]

😂

[@ZoomILike2flyAway]

Not necessarily, if he enjoys both sexes but, keeps his homosexuality a secret from a heterosexual woman, then Not entirely. In the closet is one that knows what they prefer and acts on it in secret bc, he or she, is not ready to disclose his or her sexuality.

[@user-it5sj3vg1w]

It's society is why people can't live there lives the way they want

[@myrtlemoore7611]

Let me tell you something I've raised 2 boys and I teach them how of love that love does have nothing to really do with sexualizing someone having sex with them that's your flesh man can love a woman without having sex with her because that aint the only thing a man should be able to What or have from a woman

[@VivSees]

You’re so naive. Every single mother thinks like you. Women can’t raise men! 🙄 Fathers raise men, mothers raise boys. Majority fatherless boys raised by single mamas are effeminate and def DL. They emulate what they see (female behavior) not what you say to them.

[@FrostFanatikmusic]

People who talk about DL and trying to expose signs always sound dumb

[@robertmann446]

Dang didn't this lady use to be on BET? DL men brought her back on the seen smh.

[@devbachu7072]

Nany people nit ipen luje you alk rheie country their culrure ok somw has a famuly an a boyfriend etc

[@josebro352]

That dude in the white shirt is HOT. 🔥 Damn! I'm a white dude by the way.

[@jeanettewilliams3730]

Not knowing and not even a clue.😮

[@LoliLoli83]

Carolina Sanchez ❤️💜❤️💜❤️

[@kimatamuhammad5186]

Side chick life.

[@directorclarkmonroe]

And this is why men are on the DL not everyone is comfortable being OUT people want their privacy

[@Jerry-xs1uz]

NO EXCUSE FOR LYING AND MANIPULATING PEOPLE!!!!

[@JeanEDeaux]

@@caspianblue222💯💯💯

[@briannabogans4608]

This is how sexually transmitted diseases spread. Keep that mindset and you’ll see

[@D-Will2k]

True that

[@drecool85]

@@Jerry-xs1uz be one of the people who advocate for men’s freedom within their sexuality and then you can help make men more comfortable rather than needing to hide bc of society’s judgment everywhere you turn.

[@katrinamclendon9179]

Disgusting