Growing Up Gay | A Tribute to the First Man I Ever Loved

[@lgbtqarchives]

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐚𝐫𝐲: kzbin.info/www/bejne/np3Lan-ej5aIrNE 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐚𝐫𝐲 & 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bZ2Ykpmreqd7i6c www.markleegoldberg.com/

[@albertmarnell9976]

Thank you Mark for a very touching, painful and historically needed testimony. As you know, words can not express the depth of some life experiences.

[@Soundofsilence-j4d]

OH my god YOUR GARY WAS SO HANSESOME HE IS MY TYPE GUY. IM SAME JUST DONT FIND. THAT DARN HIV. THE CABOL DELIBERTILY PROMOTED SEX. THE WAY IT WAS. TO KILL OFC GENERATION. SO THEY CAN MESS REST HUMANITY. THIS IS NEGATIVE WORLD. THEY SEEM HIT THOSE HAVE PROFESHIONAL JOBS. ITS ALL PART OF DISFUNCTIONAL. REAZION WHY HUNK ME COULD NOT GET GOOD DATE THEY WENT BY YOUR INCOME. IM SO SORRY HE BE THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE WE ONLY VISIT HERE. SOON ALL GOOD ONES BE SET FREE. D ❤

[@albertlintang4562]

I'm very moved to hear Mark's story. I like it n so I learn so much things . I feel also so grateful 😇 @@albertmarnell9976

[@frankintx699]

My Brother and I both tested positive in 1985. He passed in 1991, 1 week before his 29 birthday. I somehow survived, and I am 70. I lost many friends back then. ❤❤

[@lgbtqarchives]

Oh Frank! What a tragedy! If you ever decided to share your story, please do get in touch with me. I'll be more than happy to work on it and share it with the community.

[@tedbohn4738]

Wow - that's incredible. I'm sorry for your loss. It really shows that everyone's body is different.. I will never understand how I tested negative. I went to the baths in the 1970's and early 80's in NYC. Everyone else I knew tested positive. I often wonder whether my autoimmunity played some role.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@tedbohn4738 Obviously we're all happy that you're here, but yes it does sound like a miracle. Another friend who shared his story with us said, they would go to funerals in NYC all the time. It's hard for me to wrap my head around that kind of tragedy.

[@HawthorneHillNaturePreserve]

❤❤

[@jm7804]

I'm glad you're still around and I hope you've had a great life. I can imagine that you have a lot of interesting stories to tell.

[@nomebear]

Volunteering in an AIDS hospice when the cocktail was introduced, I watched patients who were on death's front door recover overnight, be dismissed, and go back to work. A year ago, I ran into one of the first patients at the hospice to receive the cocktail. He's now 53, looks great, healthy, and he's aging well. When I realized he was the effervescent young man in his early twenties whom I knew from the hospice I broke down and started sobbing tears.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you for helping the community. Was this in California?

[@humble2318]

I was a young social work intern worker doing my field placement during the time you mentioned. Pt s would be on deaths door...then turn around because of the cocktails...

[@judytinker3392]

You are very special to even remember the faces of those young men and women

[@EllanDay-hz2ib]

what a fantastic video , so sad but what a beautiful way to pay the love and attention to the one you love . Bless you Mark 🙏🙏🙏💕💕

[@dyinteriors]

Mark, you are one of the most gorgeous men on earth. And almost 65??? Wow and so sweet too! Seriously, I am so sad you lost your partner and especially someone you loved so much. I love your artwork. Amazing! I wish you love forever in your future.

[@pauljack7170]

how true he looks 50-55 nomore and he is amazing so natural not a hint of gayness !!

[@n7y8c7]

I had to rewind to make sure I heard that correctly!

[@janina8559]

I know right!

[@jonathanbalagtas848]

​@@pauljack7170i agree with you but "gayness". Nowadays it should be clear about gay- its just men who loves men. And trans is not only about changing sex but men transitioning to qualities of woman...wether slightly or heavy ones. Its different from femininity.😊

[@anthonymitchell9337]

I completely agree. Adorable! Best of everything Mark.

[@magnus1001]

Mark I am straight but was so moved by your beautiful story. I am so sorry you lost Gary so young but it sounds like you had a once in a lifetime guy there and many happy memories. Love is universal and so is loss. You seem like an awesome guy with a wonderful family who supports you. To better days!

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thanks a lot for supporting Mark. Appreciate you very much so!

[@PHOENIXAHELO]

Thank you Mark for your beautiful words! Happy Thanksgiving to you!

[@clintculpepper3997]

Such a beautiful thing to share with somebody. Love is universal and so is loss. You, also, seem like an awesome guy.

[@angelabluebird609]

So very well said!. Me, too.

[@MichaelBrown-ho5wc]

In 1991 I was in college and attended a youth group for gay and lesbian young adults. It actually took me several months to work up the nerve to go to the group for the first time. I remember walking in there for the first time and there was a group of 50 or so people sitting in a large circle and when I walked in the entire room became so quiet you could’ve heard a pin drop . I turned around and headed for the exit and this guy jumped up and introduced himself and told me to come and sit down next to him. That guy is still one of my very best friends to this day. As I sat there I scanned the room and saw the most gorgeous man I had ever seen in my life. I just could not take my eyes off of this guy and then halfway through the meeting he got up and left and let me tell you, I was really upset I just felt this connection even though I didn’t even know his name. After the meeting, a whole bunch of the guys came up and were hitting on me. Apparently after the meeting everyone always went and got hamburgers so they invited me to do that. While I was standing in line, That gorgeous boy walked in the door I couldn’t believe it. Right as he walked in the door, one of the other guys asked me if I wanted to come to his apartment to play cards with several of the other guys and in a very uncharacteristic move of me, the guy happen to be walking right past me and I grabbed his arm and I said I will only come over if he comes. Of course he had no clue what I was talking about but he looked at me and said yeah sure I’ll come. So after we finished eating a whole bunch of us went over and we were playing cards and various other games at this guy’s apartment. But my man would not even look at me, he didn’t say a word to me and I was very upset about it. When it came time for everyone to leave I walked to my car feeling very defeated and I saw him climbing into his little brown Ford pick up. I said to myself I am not going to let this guy get away so I walked up to his window and said I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go see a movie with me sometime. He said sure I would love that. Well that guy turned out to be the love of my life. That night started a three year long intense relationship. Our third Christmas together I opened up his present and it was an engagement ring and he asked me to marry him. Even though we could not legally get married I said yes. At that point, there was a church in town called MCC that would do same-sex unions. Before they would do the same-sex union they had a requirement that both individuals must have an HIV test. We both went and got tested at the clinic at the same time. At that point in time it took days to get the results back and I just remember being very worried. When that day came for us to get our test results, we went together and they tried to separate us but we said no we want to stay together and hear the results together. They were very hesitant to do that but they respected our wishes. They read mine first and it was very dramatic but my results were negative. my boyfriend however his results were positive. He ran out of the building with tears streaming down his face bawling yelling at me that he never really loved me and to leave him alone he got in his car and he drove off. He refused to see me or talk to me. I feel to this day cheated and I would’ve stayed with him despite his diagnosis. He still alive by the way. Oddly enough, he also worked on a cruise ship and I’m almost certain that’s where he came down with it. My relationship with him and that tragic event scarred me. It’s something I’ve carried with me all these years. Even though he didn’t physically die, I guess you could say he died to me.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thanks a lot for sharing your story. If you ever visit Los Angeles, let me know. Would love to do an episode.

[@ravenregards]

What a poignant and touching story. Thanks for sharing. So crazy how moments become memories for our whole life.

[@Valboy380]

All these heartfelt comments of lost partners & friends brings me back to Christmas day 1999 when I lost the love of my life after 7 yrs to Aids/Hep C. I've been single ever since and I'm positive and 65 now taking Biktarvy. A miracle drug. It's only by God's grace I'm here to tell this. Thank you for sharing your touching story.

[@leslie5139]

Hi, My beautiful partner and friend passed away in 2021 I miss him every day and tell him I love him. You and Gary will be together again one day. I promise you.❤

[@jimmywhite3922]

Wow...I'm 67 and often wonder why I am still here. I lost my partner Ricky in 1992 and often wonder why I am still here. Thank you for sharing this. You are not alone. But !...we are still here for now and will never forget them. ❤ .

[@dj33036]

I'm 76 and sometimes feel I have no right to be here. So many wonderful people gone.

[@swampophelia2098]

All depends on viral load etc

[@mattdeans9873]

I teared up watching this wonderful and sad story. How lucky you were to have had at least that time together. Unfortunately I was never blessed with that special someone. Mark, you are amazing. Wonderful person, definately a great artist. Anyone should be proud to love you and be able to share your life and journey.

[@Alexander-rq9he]

I met my partner at that time - before the drugs came out. He was HIV positive. At that time, it was a death sentence - many were becoming positive, getting sick or dying. I remember considering that if I continued to develop a relationship with him, that it would only be a matter of time that I would lose him and that I would be the one to see him through to his death (which is something most people usually don’t have to think of when they’re young and falling in love). At first, I was hesitant but then decided that I didn’t want to miss a minute of him. ❤ Miraculously, the drugs came out. He’s still alive to this day - I honestly can’t believe it!

[@lgbtqarchives]

Glad to hear he made it. What a beautiful testament to the power of love and commitment, even in the face of uncertainty and fear. Thank you!

[@Alexander-rq9he]

@@lgbtqarchives Thank you ❤️

[@karlwolf8703]

What a lovely story! Thank you for sharing and blessings to you and yours!

[@michaelmiller1215]

I was 22 in 1981, having moved from the backwaters of Southwest Virginia to South Florida. I remember seeing signs in one of the bars about where I live go for treatment to fight AIDS-related phenomena. Everyone knew there was ‘something’ going around; we didn’t know what it was-only that it was in San Francisco and New York City. I was one of the lucky ones-testing negative. I am now 64, and back living where I grew up. I think of all of the precious souls who were lost, due to fear, ignorance, mis-information, and lack of government support and funding-especially on the part of Ronald Regan.

[@Timeless80]

I count my lucky stars I meet my partner before AIDS. I just lost him after 45 years at age 87. I am so thankful we didn't have to deal with this disease.

[@lgbtqarchives]

If you ever visit Los Angeles, I would love to meet you and document some of your stories. Thanks for checking out the video.

[@Timeless80]

@@lgbtqarchives Living in Vegas, so not a big trip

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@Timeless80 My email is in my KZbin profile. If you get in touch with me, we will find a way to.

[@CarlosAndGabriel]

Sobbing! What a magnificent tribute to Gary. Thank you for sharing!

[@lawriefoster5587]

My Husband, John and I although never tested, I know we were both HIV positive. We are here, he is 76, I am 71...40 years together. Would not change that for the world. Here in Philadelphia, we lost a lot of people we knew to that horrific disease. We survived. meant to be.

[@michaelfolino6061]

Mark, I'm not sure why this came up in my KZbin feed but im So happy it did. Thank you for your beautiful story. Yes it's sad but you shared so many wonderful things about Gary and your family. I'm a 64 year old gay man and somehow avoided AIDS. So many lives were lost to this disease including my very best friend, gone at 45 years old. I'm thankful you are here with us to share Your special story. It was meant for me to see it. Hugs, Mike

[@jonrosell6971]

I lost my boyfriend to AIDS in 2020 after a long struggle. My heart breaks for you Mark. I'm still going through my grieving process and your story helps. Thank you for sharing. The plague isn't over and drugs aren't enough! We must keep fighting for a full cure and vaccine!

[@lgbtqarchives]

Oh wow, you’re the first person reporting such a recent AIDS related death! I am so sorry to hear that. I’m doing a special World AIDS Day video. If you’d like me to honor him in the video, please send me a good face photo with his first and last name. That’s the least I can do for you! My e-mail: [e-mail]. If you decided to do it, I must receive it today. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Much love! ❤️

[@tadziosquest]

Very moving story. at 73, living alone in a big house in Pike Co PA lost the love of my life almost 5 years. ago from COPD and kidney failure.I can empathize. We were together 44 yrs. Lost all of our closest friends. We managed by a miracle too avoid AIDS thru no choice of our own . We were party boys. My heart goes out to You. i am tearing up, forgive my typing.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Would’ve loved to do a proper tribute to celebrate your relationship and legacy. If you ever visit Los Angeles, let me know.

[@agentofficerthomasa.porter107]

Mark's Reflections Of His 1st Love💘, Yes Really Moving & AIDS😪. Grief Is Grief & It Sux's. There Is Never Any Closure. They Are In Our Hearts💘& Lives Always💞24/7. Be 7 Years Next Month & Feels Right Now. 42+Years & C.O.P.D🌌& Diagnosed With Advanced. Yes We Get By 1 Minute⏱At A Time With 1440 Minutes⏱In Every 24 Hours🕰The Next Minute⏱Has Yet To Arrive & Then It Does. At 69+, Flying Solo In My Home🏡🛻& Mountain. So Many Amazing & Caring & Great Comradery❤Friends Always, Have All Passed. Where I Live There Is No Genuine Comradery. We Are Called 'Old School' & Never Felt Old. To Share How The History & Lives Were No One To Ever Share. Are You On Instagram? Always, Tommy🤠

[@sophie-iv4lm]

Mark, I’m so very saddened by your loss. How blessed you were to have had such a love that still transcends time. Your homage to Gary through your art was a beautiful blessing as well. My thoughts are with you.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you very much for listening to Mark’s story. He’s an incredible man. ❤️

[@roblunt4882]

Mark, hearing your tribute to Gary really touch a place in my heart that I have tucked away from the rest of the world. In 1989 I met an amazing man named Christopher, within our first year he was diagnosed HIV positive. He contracted the virus from his Ex. We stayed together for some time but he asked me to move on since I was 10 years younger. We remained friends and sadly he passed in 1998. I think of him everyday. Your story has touched my soul. I am so happy to see that you are healthy. Thankfully I am negative and have a partner for 29 years. Thank you for sharing your love for Gary with us. Peace to you.🕯

[@JoannaWeber-b3n]

Oh Mark. Thank you for this. You are loved.

[@SitChoahhDownTV]

Im not gay but dang man you look fckn amazing to be "Almost 65", take care

[@Denidrakes69]

I've got a feeling that whatever has genetically left him looking that good, is also what helped him fight the virus.

[@MrNorthwestern2013]

I think it’s so important for everyone today to reflect on what so many went through. Lives lost, families destroyed and many many incredible people taken far too soon. At a time when sex is so casual and everyone seems to have moved on from the fear of AIDS, but just know that there was a tremendous price paid for that freedom. It was paid for with blood, lost loves, families forever altered and the potential of millions of people who we may never know. What a beautiful story. Gary you are not forgotten.

[@CarolAnn-gh9fl]

One of the smartest, kindest, handsome young men I grew up with passed away in the mid eighties. It broke my heart to lose someone so wonderful. We lost so many young talented people to AIDS.

[@atrocchia]

I know this video was not easy for you to make. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@ald4425]

So sad what all these young men went through (and women). The fact they had a death sentence and knowing there was no cure. Bless them all RIP. Xx

[@DGP653]

I’m 63 and felt so connected to your story/timeline 😊I’m glad you and Gary shared your lives.

[@janicewolk6492]

What a good guy you are. So very sorry for your loss.

[@ryanlewandowsky2077]

Wow what a beautiful and sad story. As a 49 year old I’m grateful for the opportunity to hear about the experiences of some of my gay elders because unfortunately due to AIDS so many of them and their wisdom has been lost.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Very true. I don’t even know how the community managed to bounce back from this tragedy. ❤️

[@3x157]

I agree.

[@davidjrtodd]

I was listening to this beautiful tribute and when you mentioned Cryptosporidiosis, I was a mess. My late partner had such pain from this and watching it helplessly was almost paralysing. We are so lucky to have had these beautiful people in our lives and I am grateful that all the friends I lost then were my friends. I am grateful for my late partner in particular. This channel is amazing. You are amazing. Almost 65? Wow. You look great for any age. There’s nothing bad about looking 65, it’s just that you don’t😊 Thank you for this. It was great and such a great honouring of your late spouse’s life.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Appreciate you my friend. These stories are important and so is yours. ❤️

[@Polyphemus47]

💙

[@tedecker]

I somehow survived a couple of promiscuous decades without ever catching an STD, however I’m living with the consequences of not planning for my financial future ( thinking there wouldn’t be a future). I’m 76 now, still in great health, with a few great circle of friends. My guardian angel has been working overtime.

[@Ronald-ks2iy]

I lost my best friend to AIDS back in 1995. I met him when I was just coming out, what I liked most about him is he offered me friendship and wasn’t trying to sleep with me like all the other men I met in the early 90s. His deterioration was sudden and fast then all of a sudden he was gone. He left a hole in my heart that I doubt anyone or anything could fill. He still lives in my thoughts and I will carry his memory until the day I meet my dearest friend again. Love & miss you J. ❤

[@molipaul]

What eloquence! Mark, you are a beautiful living tribute to Gary. I’m glad for both of you that you found one another. I lost my first college love. He was diagnosed in spring of ‘87 and died October 16, 1988. We were at UNC-Chapel Hill. I never really learned to love again-but immersed myself in history, dogs, and trout fishing. Thanks for sharing your story. You have lived an amazing life, and have done yourself and Gary proud. 👍

[@kurtschwenk-yq9hl]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I lost my partner of 23 years to leukemia. Although very different than AIDS, the results are so very similar. It is so difficult to loose someone you love to a disease that ravages the body. To watch the love of your life literally fade away. I share your grief and sorrow. Thank you again for sharing.

[@myboibill]

Mark, thanks for keeping his memory alive. I am around your age and lived your story with friends. But as Elaine Strutch said “We’re Still Here”.

[@lgbtqarchives]

It’s a miracle that you guys made it. Something to be grateful about for all of us, ❤️

[@Will-nr5ow]

You have like fine wine... you outstanding man.

[@Will-nr5ow]

I'm sorry I mean like fine wine.

[@andrewaway]

This just makes me sob. Every guy I dated before my husband of 20 years is gone. I don’t know. I guess we saved each other. This years is 40 years together. Thank you goddess.

[@lgbtqarchives]

All I can say is that I'm glad you're here. Mark's stories have been pretty challenging emotionally to work on. Even though I'm much younger and never met his friends, but my heart breaks for them. I hope that this LGBTQ Archives project, will help preserving our community's history and legacy. I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. If you ever wanted to contribute stories to this project, please let me know.

[@DADTWAT]

You are one of the very rare HIV positive people who diagnosed in the 80s... & you made the best of your gifted time

[@louisgarcia3235]

What a beautiful memorial you created for your partner. Thanks for sharing. Lots of love to you. ❤

[@jimbonsf]

This wonderful man freely shares his life experiences, notably about getting HIV and losing his beloved partner, Gary. Thank you so much, Mark Lee, for sharing your story. Thank you, LGBTQ Archives, for sharing Mark Lee.

[@popsyturvee5112]

The thing is Mark you don’t look 65. You look amazing! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[@jazzdancerman]

A beautiful touching inspiration story that I can totally relate. When my ex of 17 years was diagnosed with HIV, my present husband and I took special care of him in his apartment for nearly two years. As per his wishes, we made sure he never had to go to the hospital. At the age of 56, he passed away in 1993, the same year that Mark's partner died. We scattered his ashes at the homes of his family and close friends in Greenfield, Mass and Long Island.

[@robertpeters3401]

Thank you for your story. We are the same age, and I lost the one man I loved in 1992 who had AIDS but died from his medications. I'm so thankful for the time we had together and the home we made in San Francisco. My mother died seven days before him, so needless to say my own depression lasted well over a decade. We were lucky to find one another, and not a day goes by without thinking of him. Take care. Your paintings are beautiful.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Heartbreaking. His memory lives on. Shame on all elected officials who could do way more, but decided not to get involved.

[@robertbeining141]

Mark Goldberg, you are an amazing man!! This was such a beautiful tribute and deeply touched me. I wish all gay men in their 20's through 40's would watch this video and tribute. Perhaps their understanding of what you and Gary, your friends, all of our friends went through. So glad you tapped into your art! You are still a very handsome guy buddy!

[@lgbtqarchives]

Robert, this particular video was one of the hardest videos that I've worked on. Mark had a photo album with photos from that period, mainly of people he was friends with and knew personally. As he was turning pages, he was like...he's dead, that guy's dead, this whole group died...etc. I couldn't believe it! It's shocking to know so many people died in such a short span of time, and the ones who survived had to deal with the fall out in their own ways. But I'm glad I was able to document it in my small way. As painful as it might be, if we don't talk about things, it's like they never happened, right?

[@tedbohn4738]

What an excellent video in every respect. I'm 67. I have NO idea how I turned out HIV-. For those of us who came of age in NYC in the 70's and 80's, I made up for lost time. And then AIDS came through NYC, and panic set in. Most of my friends quickly got sick and died. And in 1986/7 when the test became available, I was shocked when they told me I was negative. So for the next decade, I worked 18 hour days doing volunteer legal work. Anyway, this story is so moving - riveting, sad and uplifting at the same time. For me, the best part of your story is where you talk about your first dates with Gary, how you had several non-sexual dates first, and how your relationship developed. I loved how you talked about the jealousy issues, and how he sat you down and made you talk about it and then dealt with it. What lucky guys you were to have had each other. That was an important piece. And lastly, I'm sorry that you spent so many years thinking you could have done something differently to have saved him. I hope you've let go of that. There's nothing you could have done. Thank you for making this video. I'm glad you're still here to talk about your experience.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you very much for sharing your experience. If you ever decided to share your story as a video with the community, just let me know.

[@caraqueno]

@@lgbtqarchives I would like to share my story as a bisexual man but I don't think I fit an image you're looking for.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@caraqueno Hit me up. [e-mail]

[@caraqueno]

If you'd really, truly like to film a video with me and share my story,, even if it doesn't fit your narrative, I'd like that. If I sound negative, it's that my story is unique and, although I love myself, the uniqueness of my life has led to much heartache, rejection, loneliness, from other men, not from others. I have a life and experiences worthy of being explored. I once reached out to Matthew Dempsey, a gay psychologist, to be featured on his channel but it never happened, as was the case with Driftwood. I've just not been considered valuable, desirable, nor a hot commodity among my GBT peers in Los Angeles.

[@caraqueno]

Since I didn't hear back about being the subject of one of your subsequent videos, I assume, correctly, that I'm not a subject for your series. I'd like to be proven wrong.

[@matttmj]

Thank you. These histories and personal stories truly connect in universal ways on a human level that can transcend generations. It reminds us of who we are now and, most importantly, how we stand atop the shoulders of others' experiences.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Absolutely! I'm grateful that I get to work on these incredible stories and share them with the community. I really hope that more people will come forward and share their experiences. Like you said, these experiences CAN transcend generations. They'll always be relevant.

[@Kim-mz8co]

Thanks for your story. I served as the Director of an AIDS education and testing program in LA County in the late 80s/early 90s after being asked to be the first counselor at the first anonymous testing site in Phoenix in the summer of 1985 when the first tests came out while I was in school for my masters in social work at Arizona State University. The school wouldn't allow me credit for the work I was doing with "those people" in the program I helped start and they made me quit to distribute food boxes to finish my course work. There were no supports, groups, effective medications or hope for people living more than a couple years back in those early days. I was consoling crying people in the parking lot. Tough times. Sorry for your loss. Best wishes from Cambodia.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Wow! Thanks a lot for sharing your story. Would've loved to record your story. If you ever visit LA, please do let me know!

[@Kim-mz8co]

@@lgbtqarchives Thank you for your kind words. At 68 now and living in Southeast Asia with my partner, I'm not sure that returning for a visit to LA will be in the cards. Would be nice to know my story could be recorded for the archives. It's been quite a ride.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@Kim-mz8co Let's connect through e-mail. It's in my KZbin profile. Maybe we can make it happen. I've had out of state guest speakers.

[@Kim-mz8co]

@@lgbtqarchives Fantastic. I'd love to find a way.

[@jonno777]

Thanks Mark. For your story. What a handsome man you are at 65. 🙏🙌

[@johngibson.youhavesuchachi3084]

I was diagnosed 2018. 1 tablet daily, undetectable. I can never show enough gratitude for the beautiful people who died so I can live a healthy life as they were the guinea pigs for effective medication

[@danmorocco]

Mark, you are amazing in many ways. You look terrific for "almost" 65! Wow! Thank you for sharing this heart wrenching story. Life is precious and we never know when it is going to be over in most cases. Everyday is a gift...I'm 68 and like many my age have lost so many fine friends in the 80's, 90's to HIV/Aids. It was a truly horrific time and I'm at a loss as to why/how I survived...xx

[@ronsmith2241]

So incredibly sad. I really feel for you so much. I lived through those years but I was not sexually active and I am still not. Lonely but healthy.

[@MrNemitri]

He's 65?! Oh my gosh! he looks so young (and handsome)

[@FSB-HF]

I came across your story here on KZbin, I just couldn't stop listening. I Thank You so much for sharing sir, I'm sorry for your loss. Nevertheless, you look amazing!! The age of 65 looks good on you❤😍 #StayBlessed❤❤❤❤❤

[@ThisisDanBell]

God Bless you Mark. Gary is proud of you.

[@Rpaulbroker]

Mark you have probably heard this before but here it again, you are a wonderful person, and I know you stood by Gary until the end. I hope you have found happiness in your life again , Rob.

[@sherryvt61]

You beat the odds, Mark. Gary looks like he was a lovely person, and how fortunate you both were to have found each other. I have always aspired to the kind of loving relationship you both enjoyed. ♥ ❤

[@donpM.A.D.4412]

Mark, pretty much knew i was gay in early 70's. I guess I was one of the fortunate ones. I won't get into my previous experience, however i just want to say how much I admire you and your being very upfront and genuine. May your past RIP.. 70, from Connecticut ❤❤

[@johnclement9370]

A beautiful personal story, the joy and pain of life and love and loss, Mark is a true survivor in so many ways, he's still a Beautiful man in his mid 60s (!!), so cute with a wonderful outlook on life and what really matters, you and Gary were so blessed to have each other for a time, and all those special memories to hold on to, a loving supportive family and friends are so important. Stay happy and healthy, and keep living every moment, just live your best life. You are a joy to the world. :-)

[@petermintunmusic]

I think this is the most perfect video on KZbin. Speaking as another “boomer” you have put my exact thoughts into words to describe what hell we lived through in the 1980s and ‘90s. Thank you for your very important contribution to our history.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Dear Peter, thank you very much for supporting Mark and our archives. These stories should be told. I hope more guest speakers would come forward. By the way, your old piano collection is pretty incredible!

[@fearsomebeard4290]

I used to go to “The Boom”…what great memories. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@lgbtqarchives]

If you're still local, and wanted to share some of those memories , let me know.

[@HawthorneHillNaturePreserve]

I lost too many friends to this disease over the years! Bless those souls who perished and those who survived. 🙏 ❤ Such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing! 😊

[@michguy1019]

A beautiful tribute - then at the end I saw Gary's dates......I'm exactly 6 days younger 10.19.1954 To this day I don't know how I escaped being positive, but I did. Like you I lost many friends & colleagues. I met the love of my life 45 years ago. It didn't last long for him but we remained close until he died in 2007 from another illness. Nothing has ever surpassed that early love. I never really learned to love again-but immersed myself in a career in performing arts. That all sounds bitter. It's not - retirement is great and I've never given up finding love. It's just been "slow" arriving.....!

[@peterjd5689]

Such a nice and humble guy.

[@markharkey2480]

Mark, I so relate to you. I also went to west street beach and the boomboom room (also the little shrimp). I lost many friends during that time. I’m glad that you are doing well. Take care, Mark

[@michaelmiller1215]

Your story was beyond inspiring. And your paintings are beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss, but glad that you are still with us and doing well!

[@jameszangrilli4125]

What is touching and honest story. Thanks for sharing.

[@djoldsoulkid3407]

I can’t loook at the older gay generation without being sad because of stories like this tragedy, trauma, etc 😢 Mark deserves true love again HIV education need to be mandatory

[@daninminneapolis6048]

This is an incredible story and tribute to your loving partner. My condolences on your loss. You are an incredible man.

[@seanphn]

What a beautiful ode to love during such a dark ambiguous time. This resonates in so many levels. Thanks for sharing such intimates memories and rehashing emotional wounds to make us modern counterparts understand and appreciate the progress.

[@jerryclark1903]

Thank you Mark, for giving your personal journey, you are a beautiful soul. I can see your loss is still so painful, but your love is strong.

[@richardwhitehouse8762]

I am a couple of years younger than you. My coming out coincided with awful tabloid headlines about gay plague, so I went back in the closet for another seven years, until I was 30. It almost certainly saved my life but it also had the effect of being making me very wary, which has never really gone. Doesn't compare with being +ve but I'm not sure that anyone from our generation feels they got off easily. Thank you for your wonderfully considered thoughts. It can't have been easy but I found it very moving. I thought this was a very beautiful

[@TomLloyd-18]

What a beautiful story. It takes me back, though, to all the mysterious suffering of the 80's when no one understood at the beginning of the plague. I lost every single one of my friends and wondered for years why I survived. Now in my 70's my friends are once again starting to leave the scene . . one by one. At least now it's not as much of a mystery. Your story helped me to recall some of the pleasant memories . . . long forgotten . . (ie; 'the BoomBoom Room' . . in Labina Gooch . . . lol). This is a touching tribute to Gary that you have put together to share with 'the Community'. Thank You!

[@chateau7]

The Boom Boom Room - so magical. It was so joyful to just sit by the window and look out.

[@Sean-Othercrowd]

I wish to thank Mark for sharing his story and am thankful for how far we have come in medicine. Not to mention the upbeat perspective he kept in his message throughout. Sometimes it is hard when we are in the midst of trying situations that they can overcome us. Again, thank you for sharing your and Gary's story. May your life be filled with happiness, love, and peace.

[@noF8ship]

He’s not only extremely attractive, he’s a role model and hero. Thank you for sharing this story !

[@kristyjohnson2820]

I was so moved by the authenticity of this sharing. Thank you for your story. Your relationship was beautiful and you both were worthy of such a deep and reverent love. I was 18 when AIDS became more widely known in Australia and it wasn’t until years later that I fully realized its devastating impact. I remember going to see a film called Longtime Companion and sitting in the cinema sobbing my heart out. How many wonderful men were taken by this disease & so shamefully treated by their government; ostracized, vilified and left to fend for themselves with little to no resources. I will always believe this was a deliberate crime against humanity. You honoured your beloved partner so graciously Mark…I know he would never be too far from your side to this day. Love to your soul 🩵🌟

[@ExploratoryVessel]

"I was a goodlooking 23 year old kid." Man you speak the truth!! And you look even better now imo!

[@lgbtqarchives]

ha ha ha...I remember that pic. I know exactly which picture you're talking about. Yes, he looks amazing.

[@lilykatmoon4508]

Please allow me to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I’m very happy for you that you’ve known such a deep and profound love.

[@jm7804]

What a wonderful tribute. 65 years old and still thriving and living your best life. That artwork is just stunning. I hope you're continuing to share your gift with the world. Hopefully you're keeping your options open as far as a relationship as well. You're going to be around for a long, long time.

[@garyinner6543]

I tested positive in 1989 at the age of 29. I lost 2 lovers to aids. In fact I lost about 97% of my friends to that horrible disease. I’m 62 now and going strong. I wish you all the love and happiness that finds you. Incredible story and thank you for sharing. HUGS ❤❤❤❤

[@lgbtqarchives]

Gary, this was hard to read. I'm so sorry that you had to go through such tragic times, but I'm glad you made it. Hopefully one day you'll share your story here with the community and be the voice for the friends you lost.

[@nipperdawg1865]

Me too

[@EdNeppl]

This is beautiful Mark

[@tpryor3962]

Mark, thank you for sharing your story and life with us. I too grew up in the AIDES era of the 80s and 90s. Lost many dear friends as well. You’re a survivor and I’m grateful for you and your life with Gary.

[@musk4mars116]

Mark, thank you for sharing your story. I am 2 months younger than Gary and grew up in LA. I have great memories of the Boom Boom Room. My story is somewhat similar to yours as far as being a + survivor and watching everyone around me die of the same disease. Your story really touched me.

[@lgbtqarchives]

If you’re still local, I would love to capture some of your experiences. Thanks for supporting Mark.

[@mschirmersf]

You’re a beautiful man. It trips me out hearing your partner’s story. I contracted it at 16 in 1986. I was a nationally placed competitive swimmer. I was diagnosed in 1996 with 7 T cells, Cryptosporidium and Thrush. I got my affairs in order and put on disability and as you know given an 80% mortality rate BUT i was given the opportunity to try a new cocktail and suddenly hints were different. I’m 53 now and still dealing with everything that happened to us but grateful to be alive. Thank you for your story. So beautiful.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Unbelievable! At this point I’m fully convinced even I document stories all day everyday, I won’t even be able to scratch the surface. Every time I see an older gay man in public, I can’t help but think that’s a miracle right there!

[@flyoverurbangarden4315]

Good luck to you Mark and thank you for this interview.

[@jlowe8556]

These are the stories that need to be heard. The love, relationship are beautiful ❤️

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thanks a lot. Hopefully more people from our community will step forward. Appreciate you!

[@kellywhite2753]

Very beautiful story, thank you for sharing 😊

[@madeleine7411]

It is important to understand what life is like for for those of us who are not straight women or straight men. You learn so much. Mark is a sweet man who found his way into who he is. I admire this guy.

[@althomas8672]

You brought Gary back to life for me. Your wonderful, amazing tribute made me feel as if I knew both of you from the time you two met. Thanks for doing a beautiful narration and be well.

[@jimbond8927]

Stunningly beautiful and profound. In a mere 21 minutes you captured and conveyed the stories of two wonderful lifetimes. Bless you.

[@TMendocino]

I am three years younger than you. I will never forget that decade. And seeing dear friends go home. Your story is so familiar. Thank you for sharing this personal memoir.

[@FloridaClay]

A beautiful, moving story, which brought to mind so many acquaintances and friends who did not make it through those times. God bless you Mark.

[@3x157]

I can't imagine the pain at that time. I hope he knows he probably saved more lives talking about his story. He probably also helped so many others that came infected after he did. Stories help, talking helps. I hope young gays know how lucky they have it these days.

[@nodice8312]

Thank you....i was there too..in San Fran at the very beginning..so many STELLAR friends gone....i often think of them ,how hard it was to die so young so perfectly equiped to live.....what our today would have brought....

[@lgbtqarchives]

Tragic indeed! If you ever visit LA, let me know. Would love to document some of your experiences as well.

[@seymorestuff235]

You're sharing helps me look back with gratitude for my first love who died of AIDS in 1995, just a year before the life saving medications were available. It was an incredibly tough time and I think of him all the time

[@alanaban1840]

You lifestyle is the problem/ do what is correct / do not put thing in places whare it was not design for. Now you know it is wrong / hope u stop doing the wrong thing

[@kevie63]

Thanks for sharing. You, Mark, and Gary are an inspiration !

[@charlescrossman2225]

THANK YOU MARK FOR YOUR SHARING THIS - YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION - I WISH YOU ALL GOOD THINGS

[@BlakeVoorhees]

Had just finished watching a video on KZbin this evening about Jerry Smith and your video cycled in next, Mark. Such a powerful relationship you had with Gary and I’d like to believe it continues on some level. What you have created over the decades in grieving the loss, and transforming the parts of it into art you have been willing to share with us as an artist, a man, a partner of a perfect love, is something to behold.

[@gpslibra]

Mark, Thank you for this truly wonderful video chronicling your life in LA and your loving relationship with Gary. I met my boyfriend (now partner/husband of 41 years) in LA in 1982. So much of what you shared brought back memories; many good but unfortunately, many heartbreaking. I was a nurse on the Immune Suppressed Unit at Sherman Oaks hospital from 1984-90 on the evening shift. My full-time job during the day was at the Kaiser Sunset AIDS Specialty clinic as the unit RN. I worked a lot because I wanted to help my community through this epidemic/pandemic. I understand the tragedy that HIV/AIDS brought to our community. Like you, I lost most of my friends between 1985-1992. I’m glad to know that you were well enough to take the combination antiretroviral meds (including protease inhibitors) when they were available. Those were some terrible years as we endured all the loss, and you especially losing your beautiful Gary. Thank you so very much for documenting this important time in your life. It is up to us to continue to educate younger generations.❤️

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you very much for sharing your story. Do you still live or visit the Los Angeles area? Would've loved to do record an episode and capture some of your experiences.

[@gpslibra]

@@lgbtqarchives I moved to Northern California in 1990. I do visit LA once or twice a year. I’ll be coming down in October of this year. I’m sure I could make myself available to you to record my experiences.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@gpslibra That would totally work out. Feel free to contact me and let me know. Would love to meet and record some of your stories and personal experiences.

[@gpslibra]

@@lgbtqarchives I will contact you as the time gets closer. I gave most of my papers and other materials to the UCSF AIDS Oral History Project and Archives about two years ago. Unfortunately they ran out of funding for filming/videotaping and documenting health care workers from the 1980’s and 1990’s. I was very pleased to at least have my possessions archived. My fear was that once I died, the information would be lost.

[@lgbtqarchives]

I would love to make this happen. Just let me know once the time get closer and we’ll work out the logistics. Feel free to send me an email and I’ll provide my contact info. My email is here in my KZbin profile.

[@jLjtremblay]

Congratulations! After being a hard-core KZbinr now for about a decade, you are the first to make me cry and believe me, I’ve seen a lot on KZbin! That was simply a beautiful sharing. I’m 65 (1959) on Medicare as of 9-2024 and this milestone has forced me into a whirlwind review of my life and your story really really made me feel like I’m not alone. God bless you and keep you healthy the rest of your days! THANK YOU!

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you very much for checking out Mark's story. I forwarded your comment to him. Maybe one day you will share your story and experiences and that will definitely help many others down the road.

[@michaelchailland3616]

Thankyoou for your beautiful story. I have been POZ since 1994. I had met the love of my life but he tested NEG while I tested POZ. I remember us laying the couch in our recently purchased home and I was crying. He held me so tight and assured me that everything was going to be OK. We remained together for 11 years. Although we have remained close friends to this date. Im undetectable now and he remains negative. Thankyou again for your beautiful inspiration.

[@lgbtqarchives]

What an experience! I believe that most people, including myself, tend to think only in medical terms when we hear about HIV/AIDS. Yes, the medical aspect is significant, but there's much more to it. There's another side that affects one's life and the lives of those around them. That's the part from which we need to learn more, both from you and others in the same situation. I understand that this may not be the most pleasant topic for you to discuss, but when or if you're ready, I would be honored to help share your story. This is the purpose of this channel.