men want traditional women but are not traditional themselves + basic economics of the dating market

👚Merch - shopisla.co
✨All other links - beacons.ai/manifestelle
In this episode of the Spoiled Girlie Support Group podcast, Elle dives into the topic of why men want traditional women but are not traditional themselves. She explores the concept of high value dating and the misconceptions that come with it, including the assumption that women are marrying for money. Elle breaks down how being a provider is a mindset and how money is a sensitive topic for men.
Throughout the episode, Elle provides valuable insights and strategies for navigating the dating market as a financially secure spoiled girlie. She discusses the importance of choosing a success-minded man, not just a rich man, and avoiding men who don't understand the assignment. She also shares tips on how to protect yourself from men who attack the concept of your male protection and how to recognize when people are projecting onto you.
As always, Elle provides a unique perspective on these topics and encourages listeners to cater their marketing to only the best people. She reminds us that being single is not an insult and that being single is better than being miserable and bitter. Tune in for a thought-provoking discussion on high value dating and how to get that bag while securing your own bag. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more content like this!
Chapters:
0:13 men want a traditional woman but aren’t traditional themselves
1:52 basic economics lesson
06:31high value men and high value women?
10:02 avoid men don’t understand the assignment
13:39 being a provider is a mindset
16:38 his lifestyle is your lifestyle
18:27 men with no gold worrying about gold diggers
20:07 men are the real gold diggers
23:31 choose a success-minded man, not just a rich man
23:56 know when people are projecting onto you

[@elenao_o8234]

My Russian friend was married with a Danish man. He was enjoying 200% all the advantages of her being Russian wife (clean cozy house, nice food every day, ALL household activities, her looking good 24/7), but when it came to money point “oh sorry babe, we are in Denmark, people pay 50/50 here, don’t be a gold digger!” Thank God they divorced in the end, what a 🤡

[@katietan3153]

omg love that for her!

[@mangagirlyoutub]

That’s why i can’t be a nordic guy they’re are goreous tall ect buuuut their 50/50 / « woke »culture i can’t. French men ( my culture) are starting this insanity but not with all girl 🫣

[@Nee3l]

Danish men are so sassy and want princes treatment. I am danish and mostly date expats

[@elenao_o8234]

@@Nee3l100% they are so weak. One little bump on the road and they are depressed for life. My husband is danish and I’m a man in relationships unfortunately. He is keep soaking all my energy crying for every little problem and I’m sick with lifetime untreatable disease but trying to make the best out of everything I have and trying to be in a good and positive energy. So unattractive for man to be like that

[@khadijahbegum3546]

Is it normal the fact that this just pissed me tf off😂 Your freind, especially a RUSSIAN endured and allowed that. I feel so bad for her becuase imagine how much the family must've made fun of her 😅 I'm a Muslim and I will never let that happen to me, thank you very much.

[@RH-td7vc]

This man has the audacity to travel to a foreign country to seek out a younger attractive woman and expect her to go 50/50? These passport bros are something else.

[@therealmanifestelle]

exactly 😤

[@lisalisa3223]

more like passport hoes. they call western women “304’s” yet they love going to DR and Columbia and Brazil to sleep with prostitutes. Spend $1000+ to go foreign but complain that the women here r expensive 😂 make it make sense.

[@vivkadbi]

So true LOL

[@valeriaaguilar4396]

not all of them are like that 😂

[@redleeks6253]

​@@hananokuni2580Living in a western country (Europe) having a leftover pickme mother who built from scratch with a man who had nothing (at the age of 40) it's misery. I've been taught that i dont deserve anything and always have to humble myself. Shouldn't allow men to pay for this or that because it means he considers you less (yes, men in my culture who pay for dates don't wanna impress women but show they are superior). Only in China I was able to find some peace.

[@kiterafrey]

I used to date someone who pulled 500k a year at his first post college job, who grew up very wealthy. This meant being around his friends. It was a huge culture shock to me. But, I'll tell you what. NOT A SINGLE man in that income group I met felt anyone was a gold digger. They never complained and even went above and beyond to spend on women. Whereas the men I grew up around, and I grew up in poverty, would always think every woman was a gold digger. Brah, Stephen, my brother in Chris, you have NO GOLD to dig. You have no worries.

[@summersultra]

Would love to hear more about your story!

[@ethiopiazoldyk4667]

@@summersultra me too 😁

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

Dating a really wealthy guy made me feel very uncomfortable whenever that was involved. It was alright when we were doing things that didn't cost a lot. But went to his cousins wedding... And I felt so out of place!

[@SweetUareDesi]

huh @@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066

[@kiterafrey]

@@holographicwing It was straight after his Masters but he was hired to be the head of planning & engineering for an oil rigging company, and yes, he got "considered" (basically got the job period) because of his family connections.

[@jijyladameenbleu9555]

As a Moroccan woman, I found this woman was really polite. How dare he? This is not even a man.

[@antiracistbaby1085]

Astagfirullah

[@NoName-sd8qu]

You are saying astagfirullah when it is literally in islam that men must provide for women. Just like a woman needs to obey her husband.

[@NoName-sd8qu]

فعلا حبيبتي . ده مش راجل حقيقي .تحيا من مصر بالمناسبة 😊👋🏻

[@NoName-sd8qu]

@@pommy3109 a real woman is a someone who is not shamed of being a woman. She doesn't let other women down . And she doesn't hate her period or the things that makes her a woman. She is not afraid of being feminine or taking care of herself. she is caring and loving and kind but also knows how to stand up for herself.

[@happymixtapes]

​@@NoName-sd8qufeel free to obey, sibling. But why do you have to preach your beliefs on the internet?

[@sofiavelyka1669]

Same here . As a ukrainian I've witnessed so many american guys coming to Ukraine to pursue ukrainian women because they think we're so " traditional and beautiful" (or possibly naive enough to put up with their sh*t). But don't realize that they'll have to provide and hustle to bring a lot to the table! It's so hilarious to see their reactions when they realize that... Like idk what you were thinking boo. Nothing's free. Sit down😂

[@pinkaji1208]

i find it so funny when guys whine about women in America, because they have it so easy here. Here women are more likely to split the bills and sleep with them for free, meanwhile Ukrainian women tend to have higher standards, as they should.

[@redleeks6253]

Ive been on a date with a man of my culture who was younger than me and shorter than me. I'm 5'3 and he was 5'2 and he didn't stop talking about getting an ukrainian wife because he is 'comfortable in life'. He even applied for residency there but war broke. Then he was telling me that he met a ukrainian woman he really liked but she moved to Germany and 'too many men boosting her ego there' (his words) and she became totally different. What i think he's that he tried to hook a poor villager who never left ukraine and when she had access to more and better options she moved on.

[@sofiavelyka1669]

@@elimoran7345 He's not worth it honestly. Find yourself a better man boo (if applicable😄). Eastern European men are a walking red flag🚩 (abusive, drinking , misogynistic etc)

[@redleeks6253]

@@elimoran7345 Those are the men ukrainian women don't want. Ukraine is very poor and these jobless me often end up becoming alcoholic and turning their families lives into a living hell ot abandon the house creating more 'single moms'.

[@skarbuskreska]

​@@elimoran7345we shouldn't think anything, as we not know him. In general I think it's a healthy attitude to expect everone involved to provide into a relationship. Sometimes that is money, sometimrs that is care and time. I would be a bit careful though when it comes to long distance relationships as I believe you only get to really know a person when you are together. That also why I would never marry first then move in with them, I'd always move in with them first then see how they act on a daily basis, which habits they have, how willing they are to communicate upon first clashes etc.

[@jordanrintoul-thomas722]

He doesn't want a wife. He wants a mom. Run.

[@Loch1210]

No, we want a teammate because life is way harder financially than it has ever been

[@artorhen]

A trad wife doesn't help you financially, only takes care of the household. They salary would go I to the household and so would yours and she would manage it.

[@Loch1210]

@@artorhen this ain’t a trad world. Capitalism isn’t set up for everybody to be rich.

[@artorhen]

@@Loch1210 there's nothing that can set anyone up to be rich at the same time, it defeats the definition. And that's what a trad wife is, and why in some countries people have moved from traditional to modern because it was already failing and leading to abuse in the household because it doesn't work in a modern economic system. The term golddigger likely comes from housbands that were mad they couldn't buy things for themselves and that the woman was managing the money, however, traditional wives never used money for themselves. All that said, the reason people moved to modern times wasn't just because of women, but also cause the men couldn't provide for 2 for the time that a trad wife would have to spend at home. Now, working in a pair of two can still be economically draining and it's good to first have a plan or a chance at a raising salary, if not, the best economic option for younger people that I've seen is having roommates. If the economy only goes worse, I would be more inclined towards not starting families at all and seeing what the gov does when there are no families forming, which is already something that's happening.

[@Loch1210]

@@artorhen The nature of capitalism requires most ppl to be poor or just barely making it while a small group are wealthy. i’m already a battery for a matrix. I gotta be a battery for my girl too.

[@ksniderdesign]

“Even if men don’t have anything they will still have the audacity” I AM SCREAMING 💀

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

This

[@amilya4u304]

exactly

[@RummanaMoledina]

Entitlement of the sonny boys

[@nb1393]

And they will call you materialistic while having no material 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Ribbitplease]

😂😂😂 I loved that line!

[@sol_di_14]

My dad is/was low middle class, and he provided 100% percent. I don't want anything less. Latin-American girl here

[@therealmanifestelle]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@summeralana]

we love to see it!!

[@jewelb9433]

Same, BUT the young ones are picking up that Tiktok Mindset. I'm a teacher and I hear teenagers talk about this stuff almost daily. SMH.

[@CovrLovrco]

@@jewelb9433you’re a teacher, teach them ❤

[@FAWNJOLIE]

girl SAME!!

[@namari9307]

"I thought Moroccan women priopitize family over material things" - the logic left the chat. Like family needs a house and food and pay the bills like what is he talking about

[@elenao_o8234]

Seems like he is planning to send his kids at age of 4 to do child labor, while he will be drinking beer at home 😅

[@AbyKAMARA-rx8rm]

She wants a provider to prioritize her family !

[@laurennelson3918]

Yeah because if she picks a man unwilling to work to support the family then her precious children will be at risk of dying from lack of food clean water and medical supplies if they get sick or end up stunted at five foot nothing from having bread shadows for dinner one too many nights.

[@Sly-Moose]

He expects his family to all live happily, in a van down by the river 😂

[@ninjakiwigames5418]

That guy was like "You have to pay 5050, but also take care of the house and bear my children" Yeah, no thank you.

[@bunnykatsoracle3275]

Right? Like you are offering me... a job? An unpaid, 24/7 job?? Like why would anyone want that? 😅

[@saeranchoi3343]

⁠​⁠@@bunnykatsoracle3275That’s just slavery 😭

[@animeotaku307]

Did he want one of the Stepford Wives from the remake? The ones who could dispense cash even though it made no sense?

[@ire1398]

Let’s call it what it is. They want a full-service slave. Sex, food, cleaning, representing his reputation. It’s disgusting. My DH is so not like this. He and others like him are proof that it doesn’t have to be like this.

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

They want a baby machine, nanny, baby sitters, and a free nurse in their old age

[@ire1398]

@@ThewaysAreOfTheLord you need to get into deprogramming treatment NOW. You also might want to get checked for a stroke.

[@ire1398]

@@ThewaysAreOfTheLord you are wrong. You just don’t want to do housework. There is no god, get over yourself. The Bible isn’t a permission slip from “god” to behave like an asshole.

[@gunpuppy3533]

You’re not entirely wrong. But is it slavery if a woman willingly serves her husband? It’s always been that way if you really think about it. Marriage (traditional) is basically a deal, and that deal typically something like “I’ll provide you with everything you need to live and be happy and in return you’ll serve me”. It’s not slavery as long as both parties hold up their end of the deal, as there’s a mutual benefit.

[@ire1398]

@@gunpuppy3533 It’s 2023. How many women throughout history have not been given a choice? We could have cured cancer by now if everyone had equitable opportunity.

[@hannastratman3231]

“It’s very expensive to have a traditional woman” TY 💅💕

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

💣💥

[@mikescott4780]

Traditional provider requires traditional women. You are neither or both. Don't ask what you don't provide. The double standard is as stale as you ladies are.

[@swankswag]

I can afford you. What’s your insta?

[@KanyeKetchup]

No just keep you're legs closed😂

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

@@KanyeKetchup a man who is going around having sex with multiple women, impregnating women outside of marriage isn't traditional either. A traditional man gets to know her, ask her father or elders for her hand in marriage. Proceeds to be vetted for suitability and matching by her and the elders. The vetting may include having a good education or training in a trade that is lucrative, having a steady and stable job/or business. This demonstrates his ability to provide without difficulty. If he has been married before, it may be considered a red flag, however the elders will check that if he has children he cares for them well. If he has a strained relationship with the mother of his children that's considered a red flag. ... Your health (sexual, physical, mental), your family health history (any debilitating hereditary diseases are considered a red flag), you character, your friends... If everything is ok courtship towards marriage will be allowed. Depending on the culture, you may be required to pay bride price. In some cultures, if you get her pregnant before marriage there is a heavy fine... Y'all are not ready for traditional marriages.

[@Kknderbueno]

It's so funny to me when the passport bros think eastern women have lower standards (low enough to be with them), but often I find the standards are higher. There will be no "we both have to work full time and I end up with 80% of the housework anyways." I'm not a traditional woman at all but I support traditional women and I wanna see non-trad women up their standards, too.

[@lelduck6388]

If it ain’t trad it better be work full time, do half the housework, do half the emotional labor and no manipulation, abuse, cheating or weaponized incompetence. Else it’s a scam

[@G4merr808]

A lot of women aren’t traditional because there’s no man who wants to provide so you’re forced to work like a man should

[@opticalraven1935]

I'm not a traditional woman and I have high standards. Being labeled a feminist is hilarious.

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

Exactly! I say those passport bros aren't traditional themselves. They and the extreme feminists are perfect match due to similar ideals, but I don't know why they hate each other, lol. Traditional women don't like the type MGTOW ones at all. Don't bother to tell those women to slit 5050.

[@antasiashaw8815]

Foreign women do prioritize family that’s why they choose provider husbands to provide for a family. It kills me especially black men who are passport bros think they can go to third world countries to get traditional women but aren’t traditional themselves. A woman isn’t going to leave her country to go 50/50 when she can find a husband who provides in her country

[@05_05Aquirion]

Basic, a woman don't will volunteer to live poor in their country to be a "SLAVE" in others

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

Met this kind of guy. He is an employee native australia and i am his manager. I literally laugh at him to his face. We work in indonesia.

[@maeum_maeum]

I dated a rich guy a couple years ago . Like filthy rich , and one thing he told me about is what u said . Rich men love "gold diggers" . He told me that rich men love spending money on the women they are with even if they arent serious with them . They arent stupid to be manipulated by a gold digger , they know she is one when they interact . But they dont care because those women are very high maintenance and expensive . So being with a woman like that makes them look good , and makes their status louder in a way. He told me even in their social groups , there is like a silent comoetition of who has the most expensive woman .

[@jasmineestafia]

Periodt! 💯

[@sigmamaleslogokijalegi6683]

Because they get sex

[@sigmamaleslogokijalegi6683]

This why men say money is everything

[@YSANROCHEOfficialYoutube]

It’s true 🙏wealthy men love women who aren’t free for every loser to get - they also don’t like cheap women

[@sigmamaleslogokijalegi6683]

@@YSANROCHEOfficialKZbin Suppose you have a beautiful looking Chad and is rich, whom do you think he will choose ugly or beautiful girl. Be honest

[@cauliflowerhead2735]

Most Moroccan women are very conservative. Prioritising family over material things entails that the man be the sole provider and women be a caretaker. The guy in the clip is living in serious cognitive dissonance. I don't think they really know what they want. Going to another country will give them a huge culture shock and burn them out.

[@therealmanifestelle]

this 😳

[@saffy771]

Like how tf is she supposed to nurture her family and take care of the household and follow the traditional lifestyle if the man isn't providing. Aside from the question whether that's the kind of lifestyle you want, that's literally how traditional households like the ones that are common in Morocco work. The man goes to work and the woman stays at home, takes care of the kids, the household, cooks delicious meals etc. I'm of Moroccan descent as well and I know that when a Moroccan woman looks for a husband, the family will look for a man who will be able to provide for her. They can be in fact quite picky if they actually care about their daughter to make sure she's gonna be well taken care of in her marriage. This is common sense. Has this guy been living under a rock? If you don't want that kind of lifestyle that's fine, but then don't go out of your way to look for a traditional woman to marry. I get that the economy is tough right now and raising kids can be a struggle with one income depending on your job, but a traditional woman is gonna expect something else.

[@prosperasortuda]

Unfortunately these days most Moroccan men living outside are like that, in the Netherlands, where I live is very common to meet these "traditional" men😂😂!

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

💣💥

[@Cyhcg5uhgb]

​@@prosperasortudaIt depends. I have seen morrocan girls with their boyfriends (also morrocan and this was in the netherlands) and she litteraly told him to buy her some snacks (store on university campus) and he did. I was shocked. On the other hand we have men like my cousin who are complaining that women only want to date him for his money, yet all he talks about IS his money. Bro, if you don't have a personality and only flaunt wealth the only people who want you are gold diggers. That is your own fault. In general I feel like Morrocan men take better care of Morrocan women in the Netherlands. Partly because of family expectations as well. Dutch guys on the other hand... I mean, fuck tikkie.

[@bubbles228_]

I went on a date with a very successful guy making loads of money, had a fancy car and everything luxurious. But he was so hesitant to pay on the date, it was visible and he did not end up paying. Although I am perfectly able to pay on dates and I'm also doing well in my career, but I chose to cut him off as it's better to be with someone who earns less but finds me worth investing in, than with someone who just wants a placeholder.

[@peacelove7437]

That could aldo be fake. Borrowed car and lying to you about his success. Also bragging about $ is a turn off.

[@conquistadorrocket]

honestly, thanks for sharing this. if something like this happens to me, I'll be sure to stay strong in not getting out my wallet. if anything, I'll walk away all sassy and let him embarrass himself

[@7Mushrooms7]

Exactly. It's not enough to have the means, he has to be a provider. And not all men with money want to provide.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

The catch is, there are plenty of mxn out there who may possibly be earning less than you and still insist on splitting the bill or worse yet, demand you pay his AND your bill. Discern. Rich or poor, most of them appear to be stingy and greedy at the core.

[@jessikajane4967]

​@navboi12 do you not understand courtship? I must ask who raised you?🤔 People invest in the things they feel are important and valuable (i.e college degrees, careers, children, health & fitness, etc.). Your response says alot about how you don't value women and are clueless about courtship. So sad

[@nativelasquezlopera4500]

I had an American asked me out for diner, just to go: “how are you going to pay for your part?” I payed, never spoke to the guy again…😂

[@amazinggrace313]

The nerve

[@suzy1750]

Good for you! The American men I go out with always pay. That guy was trying it on...a lot of nerve esp. because you are beautiful!

[@reginageorgetownuni]

American men usually pay on the first few dates. But thats changing now and ... ick

[@bambooforrests]

​@@amazinggrace313I read your comment on Deborrah Cooper's channel and now you're here. Women who cannot attract the men they want always go to those channels hosted by goofy, ugly women. I can't figure out if you're a man or a woman.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

A woman who doesn't care about how much money a man makes is not a traditional woman nor a traditional wife.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

@terra1049 yes. There must already be a trajectory of positive development in all facets of his life. Including his mindset.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

​@@loganblackwood2922 a man who is having sex with a woman and /or impregnating a woman before marriage isn't a traditional man either. You ask her Father's hand in marriage and then proceed from there by being vetted for suitability and matching, not just by her, but by her elders. This vetting may require proof of good education or owning a growing/successful business/ a good and stable job. If you have another wife or an ex wife they will want to know that you are taking care of the other family well. If you have a strained relationship with the ex wife, that's considered a red flag. Can't expect her to be traditional if you aren't traditional yourself...

[@laurengalan2760]

I don’t work because I have been given some property investments by family. This is absolutely not some sort of indicator that I will accept a man who is not willing to invest in me just because I’m not dependent on his money. I see it as him caring for me.

[@katvogue2871]

It actually is and at a point of time united states made it legally that way ..

[@jd6331]

​@@katvogue2871what?

[@Metzcalli]

Literally that IS prioritizing family over material things. She’s not concerned with putting in material cause she’s concerned with the household!

[@therealmanifestelle]

👏🏽👏🏽

[@user-kp2em5eu1x]

@@therealmanifestellei wish u were my friend irl your great!

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

💣💥

[@temposhop8739]

​@@seabreeze4559 isolation is the beginning of abuse, I can't unsee it now.

[@zk6019]

she didn't even mention material things though. Men just use specific words to act like she's the problem, not him (gold-digger, materialistic, spoiled, immature).

[@hayleysterling3598]

One thing that gets me is when men want us to prioritize family and children, but still want us to have a job. We can’t have both. When we get a job, our employer wants us to prioritize them. Most employers don’t give a crap about your family as long as they get their share of your time that they pay for. I feel like men these days want a woman with infinite amounts of energy to handle all things they want and need but don’t consider that we’re human. As a married woman, I have experienced and heard from other married women that it’s so tiring because most men don’t contribute their share to the household. They think because they work they don’t need to do anything at home or they don’t take care to contribute as much as the women. We’re working now too! The lack of self awareness and demanding things they can’t provide themselves is so unattractive.

[@Nyuffykah]

True. Their 50-50 demands are just unrealistic. I want to be a mother one day!

[@opticalraven1935]

Facts. This why Western men are such a bore and pig headed.

[@gracecadet3244]

"If men don't have anything, they will still have the audacity" SENT me to the moon

[@ksniderdesign]

What I find so fascinating about this narrative men perpetuate that they’re “afraid of being taken advantage of when they pay on a first date because they don’t know if they’ll get an ROI” is the implication that their ego cannot handle the anticipated rejection and their bank account cannot handle the squeeze. Bruh if you can’t afford to pay on a date be selective, or don’t date at all. It’s a symptom of you being financially unstable, emotionally illiterate, and/or psychologically unsavvy.

[@lilymulligan8180]

So well said 👏🏻

[@Aqua23-ammg]

Same with divorces. When you look at how many times the most famous and richest men of the planet are generally divorced, AND also have an army of baby mammas out there whom they finance as if the money is mere spare change to them, you see that this fear of divorce and being "taken advantage of" is truly only a problem in the middle class to lowest, minimum wage working class. The men who already have not much to begin with, and also deep down know that they: 1) won´t be able to easily make that money back 2) won´t be able to make EVEN MORE money back than they lost ... naturally are always terrified to have their already barely stable lives completely blown up due to a failed marriage with kids. The millionaires and billionaires of this world (with real skills when it comes to making money) go through women like underwear and no care in the world, because money to them is like endless running water.

[@EmyEgy31]

@@Aqua23-ammg then she should marry modern working women and he help the around the house, he will lose less money if she working too.

[@C.C.369]

"i thought women prioritize the family" "AS IF WANTING A MAN TO PROTECT AND PROVIDE IS NOT PRIORITIZING THE FAMILY!" 👏👏👏

[@pomfiyon3955]

Men want me to work 50+ hours to provide, cook, clean, have kids, take care of kids on my own, etc., but don't even make more than $50k. You can't expect me to be your mommy, little boy.

[@mspotpie]

My father didint make very good money when my parents first got married but he never asked my mother to step in and contrubute. He always made sure we were taken care of and was very generous with us. He worked extremely hard to get where is was in his career and gave us such a good life. Providing is 100% a mindset.

[@ruka939]

And that's what a provider is, even when there isn't much money he works hard and makes it work. A provider his value isn't just how much money he has. Your dad sounds amazing😍

[@mspotpie]

@@ruka939 he is, I'm so proud of him.

[@mitza420]

Exactly its not about being extremely wealthy its about being a hard worker who loves his family

[@khadijahbegum3546]

Same with my dad. I love my dad❤

[@kyram123]

You have bars! “If men don’t have anything, they still have audacity” 😂 I’m dying.

[@colochossalvajes]

My father is a this type of man, he gaslighted my mom in to think she was very materialistic and that she needed to get used to this lifestyle he could provide, while on the present day we don’t have our own home, we live with my moms mom (my grandmother) . My mom and our family have struggled so much!! If I meet men that remind me of my father I will run The other way.

[@SoulsCalling777]

Same situation with my father

[@m1r__]

i definitely agree. wanting a traditional partner isn't anything bad, but are you traditional yourself? that's what matters. that's why i laugh when redpill gurus want a traditional woman

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

Why? Most red pill peeps want traditional women and are traditional themselves lmao

[@bunnyboo6295]

It is odd they claim they want traditional yet don't want to provide how else do they think a traditional women can afford to stay home with the kids he must earn enough and be willing to provide financially so she can give her all in providing the nurturing care giving side of the relationship. A traditional relationship is already 50/50 modern man want the women to be able to keep her old roles while covering half of his. These men want closer to women doing 80% while they put in 20%

[@4651adri]

Exactly. Traditional does not mean submissive. They better understand the difference.

[@lavieestundestin]

Makes me think of my so's brother and his wife: Him saying childcare and house chores "are 100% woman's duties, have always been and always will be" while also wanting his lady to work "because I'm a modern man." Dude you can't have your cake and eat it too 🙈 Interesting how his brother (my so) has a pretty different outlook even though they grew up in the same household. But seriously, it just makes me feel sad about the wife cause she is a wonderful, warm, kind, beautiful young woman in her prime who doesn't see her full worth ❤ After that above comment from his husband I asked how does she feel about the topic and she said "well, I guess this is what marriage is like. You have to be submissive to your man and do what he asks." Side note, we're in Europe, not in Saudi Arabia, which is also what I would have wanted to reply to her 😅 And on top of all she thinks she "married up because look at him he is so handsome." I don't want to interfere to other people's relationships if they say they're happy but maybe I just link her this YT account...

[@bunnyboo6295]

@@lavieestundestin Sounds like pigheaded jerk. But some women truly don't mind taking care of the home gives them joy. I love to cook I am OCD so like things a certain way so would not mind taking the bulk of keeping the home how i want. But would 100% have an issue doing anything for that type of man.

[@yothiga]

The majority of the stay at home mom in Asia actually manage all the household income. I want to know how American guy will react to the fact that you give your salary card to the wife and have to recieve daily allowance instead of control all the money. Seriously, men have selective memories.

[@joygibbons5482]

And that’s how the finances worked in Europe in the past. Man returns from factory/office/mine on a Friday night with a pay packet. Hands it over to his wife. She removes and keeps the majority to pay all the household expenses and gives him pocket money to spend in the pub or to go to a soccer match. He defers to her entirely in this.

[@mew9797]

Real, some companies in my country even transfer the paycheck to the wife’s bank account

[@kookie_2178]

This is how it should be if you are a houswife especially. The man handover his money then wife make their budget and stuff abd give him allowence❤

[@annak804]

This is perfect for people who are bad with money

[@StarlightBibi]

This is crazy. It’s so offensive to us Arab women when a guy come tell us to provide. Even Arab men don’t have the audacity to say it and if they did we pay them dust. Like hello?! Who’s giving birth here?! me I am. Not your male ass, you should bring the house and food and provide for me. Even birds know this shit. Don’t ever pay for a guy. Your money is yours don’t feel obligated to pay ever. Only like a graduation gift or wedding…etc that’s okay. Stop treating your men like they’re kids.

[@rosedemai1230]

👏👏👏

[@skarbuskreska]

​@@hananokuni2580I mean it's easy. You don't go fishing for dates there when you don't want that lifestyle. Like I would never want to be such a traditional woman, I love to work and staying at home all day is just not my envisioned lifestyle, or let's better say I would go crazy. But I also didn't go around trying to attract traditional men. It was always obvious if a man is like that, we are simply not made for each other. If people are in consent what they want, we can have all the lifestyles beside it other. Like it doesn't hurt me when YOU want that traditional one, as long as you don't push it on me and vice versa. We could all be happy with our own lifestyles and let each other live. You don't want the modern woman? That's cool. I don't want the traditional man either. And we don't need to, we just need to openly say what we want and then date the people we are compatible with. No need to insult either livestyle like it's constantly done. I'm tired of men shitting on woman as a whole claiming some made up bullshit, like "there are no traditional woman out there", yes there fucking are! The problem is you don't go after them, you simp on some insta models pages and throw money at some onlyfans chicks, yet you claim you wanna traditional? No you don't. You want to continue to be comfortable/lazy yet still get that sex and an unpaid maid and you don't want to do the traditional mans work.

[@justynawisniewska1213]

​​@@skarbuskreskaThe problem is that men want the 'best' (for them) out of both traditional and modern woman. They will want you to split dates 50/50 and later expenses too, because hey it's modern to do so and we're equal. But then they'll expect women to take most if not all of childcare and house chores onto themselves cause that's all women's responsibilities right? It'd be super easy if there were those 2 categories traditional and modern men to choose from but it's usually a mix of both that only have expectations for you and expect you to have none back.

[@waltermyers8891]

#Coachellafestival

[@imarip9781]

@@justynawisniewska1213 it's true 50/50 is never actually fair, more like 50% of the effort on the guys part, while the woman is the chef, cleaner, therapist, mother, tutor, sex doll, nurse, taxi driver etc etc and has to work her own job

[@SG-xb7de]

I was once invited on a lunch date, where he asked me to take out my card as we were finishing the meal. I responded that, he invited me, so I'd take care next time may be. He started arguing with raised temper 'I have never ever paid for a girl, not even for my ex-gf'. I felt so insulted sitting in the restaurant & thought to myself 'today will be your first day'. While he was still chewing, I picked up my wallet & left the restaurant. He complaint to the front desk & restaurant mgr that I ate the food & didn't pay. The restaurant Mgr followed me out the restaurant. I stopped & told him, I was 'INVITED' to this date & it's not on me. He immediately understood & left back to probably make the poor dude pay. Ha!

[@lucky0197]

I feel so sorry and sad for the girlies that wasted even one precious min on this “man”. We need to as women collectively make men like this history lol.

[@lucky0197]

If the women prior would have not put up with his nonsense then he would have shown up right.

[@SG-xb7de]

Right! Hence, I did her part & he should show up right, to the next one.

[@lucky0197]

@@SG-xb7de fingers crossed 😂

[@NoName-sd8qu]

You did the right thing

[@madhatterloveswhiskey2445]

These selfish men dont wanna stay lonely while most women I know enjoy being single. Because most men desire a woman to warm their bed and fill the empty hole of their loneliness, they should be aware that their hole filler in shape of a woman doesnt warm a mans bed for free and out of altruistic motives. If you want somebody entertaining you because you dont wanna be alone, you should pay. A woman's time is valuable, boy.

[@heliophitravelvlog]

If you’re an Asian woman and with a pan American man, make sure not to go 50 50 with the men. These men are cheap and want you to split everything 50 50 meaning they don’t have to pay for you. But you’re going to be the one doing most of the work such as cooking, cleaning, etc etc.

[@AlishaH-vh5jy]

If he couldn't even provide for himself why he's looking for someone. Stay single.

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

Transactional relationship, exactly

[@PraiseJ-Pope]

I love how you say "providing is a mindset" and I agree 100% because I have a providing husband. We survived a natural disaster a few years ago and he brought our child and me right away to safety and looked out that we had food and water until help arrived. He risked his life to do so. Of course I did not just sit around but my chances of dying were much lower.

[@datimmm]

I'm from Nigeria and my coworker was literally saying he's relocating to Paris because he heard women there go 50/50. Smh

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

Nawa so even our dudes are becoming digging for gold

[@queenonyekwere]

They are natural gold diggers Biko

[@briskettacos]

Tell him they don't

[@opticalraven1935]

Well, he's gonna be in a real shock.

[@EmyEgy31]

men in Egypt say the same, while those men still refuse do house chores.

[@kaceykacey172]

Simple thing to do ladies: Ignore them and go your own way

[@SarahUsrey]

Jesus loves you baby, ❤💚🩷💛💜🤍❤️🩵🧡💙 you be independent

[@cold_hands_hot_lead]

Men need to be MEN again and step into the provider mindset and energy so their wives can be soft radiant feminine women and not exhausted resentful miserable husks. Ive seen my mom end up like that. Just no. Also any amount of gaslighting is an instant big red NO.

[@AmericanDreamer]

yessss!!!!

[@elena3476]

Honestly thats just a lie, housewives are not living a "soft life" since they still have a lot of work to do, cleaning (especially deep cleaning) and taking care of the kids (especially when they are little and get themselves into dangerous situations if left unattended) is exhausting and this stereotype of "soft girl" is dangerous bcz it disregards and ignores the amount of work, tiredness and unrecognition these women have to put up with (often times), who dont get much help that is needed bcz "all they do the whole day is stay with the kids"

[@cold_hands_hot_lead]

@@elena3476 i'm talking about spoiled girlies not the average stay at home mom life. Moms do have it tough.

[@opticalraven1935]

​@@cold_hands_hot_leadSAHM/Ws are not "soft, spoiled girlies". What a dope.

[@pinkaji1208]

we should shame men for valuing the physical, youth and beauty, if we are not allowed to value the material.

[@NoName-sd8qu]

@@pommy3109 are you a traditional woman? Do you wear modest clothes and know how to cook and clean and never kissed a man before?

[@memoryandlove]

When you started talking about growing up with solid male protection/having a good father figure it resonated so much with me. I have such strong relationship with my dad and ngl he spoils the shit out of me and when I mention to people (coughMENcough) that he cooks for me, takes me to meals and holidays without even thinking about asking me to pay a penny etc they almost seem to become appalled and talk to me almost as if I should grow up. I don't ask him to do any of this, he chooses to spoil me and make me feel loved and secured. Even without the big things like holidays, the ease in which I can communicate with him makes me feel safe and spoiled which a lot of men out here can't even do at the bare minimum. So when people try and talk to me like I'm too old to be getting spoiled by him, or I just shouldn't accept it or something, I'm just thinking to myself don't be jealous boo just because he's providing me stress free experiences in life. 'Oh you're looking for someone who can be your dad....' My ex said something like this ('I feel like your dad, that I had to do things for you') to me after we broke up and he was explaining his reasons for breaking up with me. I think of this now offended because don't you dare compare yourself to my father who worships the ground I walk on while you got all pissy if I even owed you $20. Truly delusional thinking you are on the same level

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

It's your dad, he cares for you. All the other people dont care and dont know you, so why would they give you anything just because?

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

​@@thelucariamonarchs4889not every dad cares for their children. Besides if you want a relationship with someone aren't you supposed to care for them?

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

​@@ilikepancakes2368then y'all cannot claim to be protectors or providers if you only do it under conditions

[@AmericanDreamer]

@@ayomidedareabel5525 exactly.. that's just a common sense 😵

[@hing594]

same goes for men, men should not want traditional wives. their moms know them, other people don't care and don't know them, so why should they take care of men? @@thelucariamonarchs4889

[@Rebeccakisosondi]

It's not even that we don't want to work and contribute but what we find ourselves doing its working full time, paying half or usually more than half, and also being the only one to run the household, do all the cleaning, cooking, household shopping and do all the child rearing. A lot of men want traditional housewives but also want them to work full time while they themselves just work and that’s it

[@sithj398]

Protect this woman at all costs please

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

“PB&J Bros” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 That made me LOL. These guys don’t get it. Men are providers, women are nurturers. In a lot of cultures, the man is expected to be the financial provider or he’s seen as a little boy. If a man expects a woman to be a 50-50 financial provider, he can’t expect the woman to be traditional. This comment is not popular, but I think that if the man doesn’t have enough to support a household on their salary, they have no business getting married.

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

I think the same way, I'm 120% aboard with men being the sole providers for their households but if a woman can't have children/take care of them, cook and clean, they shouldn't be expected to get married neither

[@seebytouch]

What does "PB&J" refer to?

[@hopefull61256]

​@@ilikepancakes2368marriage is by definition tying yourself to someone so most women signing up for that aren't choosing independence

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

​@@ilikepancakes2368being traditional doesn't mean you have to be subservient to a man. My dad pays majority of the bills but if he sees the house is dirty on his day off he cleans because it is also his house. Like why are y'all so comfortable with not cleaning up after yourselves

[@ayomidedareabel5525]

​@@thelucariamonarchs4889a lot of women are opting out of being a mommy to a man anyway

[@sambur6480]

If he ever states we are equal now , tell him to have the babies because that’s equality. 😊

[@PraiseJ-Pope]

"You're not going to have a family if you dont bring the materials" damn sis, this tea is 🔥, I am hooked even though i'm not your target group 😂 go on queen, teach our sisters

[@AquamarinaPearl]

Thank you for being strong enough to be the voice for us women when we are too scared to publicly speak on the way males treat us and gaslight us.

[@gnelson6200]

The one thing these guys don’t get about traditional women is that they also don’t want another kid running around the house. Many of these guys are way into childhood pursuits, way after they should have stopped. Stuff like collecting rooms full of toys, video games constantly, cosplay & comics. Nothing wrong with a hobby or interest but these guys never grew up & it is a major turn off.

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

So, we arent allowed to have hobbies?

[@PraiseJ-Pope]

You can be a grown up with video games and stuff, but this means that you have to feed and care for your family BEFORE you go out and buy the next console or anime figure or whatever. THIS is what these men dont get. A real provider looks for his family first, are they fed, clothed, healthy and happy, is the home safe and secure and when he worked to bring all that to the table, THEN he can go out and care for his hobbies.

[@rene3759]

you hobbies shouldnt be taking too much money out of the family budget especially if you are not also investing in to her hobbies as well. also if those hobbies are escapism from being with your family and wife@@thelucariamonarchs4889

[@rene3759]

becareful even with "adults" hobbies some men use them to escape/neglect their kids and wife. a chunk of your freetime as the provider should be spending time with your kids and wife together but also just dates with the wife and just outings with father and kids so mom can also have freedome. some of these guys want kids and a wife but hate kids and women, it;s so idotic and get shocked their family is dysfunctional.

[@temposhop8739]

In households where both the mother and father work, stats show fathers spend 35% of their income on their family, with much of it going toward expensive and time consuming (and often dangerous) hobbies. Women spend about 85%, if I remember correctly. When the men get injured doing their hobby, guess who's taking care of their grumpy butts?

[@lelduck6388]

The insult dying alone surrounded by your pets doesn’t make sense. If you die with your pets you aren’t dying alone.

[@_mnfae]

FINALLY! Someone who’s worth the bestie title

[@therealmanifestelle]

💅🏽

[@barbywithapostit]

girl!! same vibe here !

[@elishevabarenbaum5319]

The woman is prioritising family, over a career. So who does he think is going to pay for the family? Oh, and you're gorgeous!

[@lizzystrande4203]

As a bisexual woman who came out at 16, and dating men, women, and nb people over the years, the older I get the less and less men appeal to me. Its seems being with men nowadays inherently comes with teaching them basic communication, manners, and empathy. Bestie im tired.

[@katwrites2536]

Yeah and also there’s no benefit to dating a man anymore over a woman. Men don’t wanna be a provider and want to be “equals” and I’m like.. okay if that’s what u want, why shouldn’t I just go date my equal which is a woman if you’re gonna act like this is a 50/50 lesbian relationship? I only will date a man if he’s actually giving me something, providing something, and actually participating in the traditional male role of providing. Otherwise, there is literally no point to even date a man

[@Mouseandyam]

That woman from Morocco is actually a matchmaker and was making sure he knew that a provider husband is the standard in Morocco.

[@deezed6478]

I totally agree with everything here but I would just like to point out that you can’t negotiate genuine desire. I’ve met some amazing men who were interested in me who would have been amazing boyfriends, great providers, but my heart just didn’t desire them. I’d like other women to keep in mind that you need to find a fair relationship where you are both genuinely in love with each other, not just some sort of business deal.

[@rene3759]

yeah they use the word LOVe as some weak compensation for all that women have to do and deal with whilst the women are not even being loved and they are just inlove with a fantasy and romantacise even their mistreatment this happens waaay to often. it's depressing for real @@naimahbuckner4062

[@mitza420]

Exactly Ive met men that are perfect on paper but I just didn't feel the spark at all I saw them as friends, good people but not in a romantic way.😂 I might be ace

[@opticalraven1935]

​@@mitza420Naw, don't think you are. You haven't found the one.

[@Sheislove144]

My father is a provider by nature he is upper middle class and he is proud to be a provider! He would never ask my mother for anything ! I have a old school catholic father Latin American so I grew up knowing this is the way god intends men to be and my father is the perfect example of a provider and hardworking man !

[@ms.wealthyy]

‘Go where you are valued, go where you feel beautiful , go where you feel rich ‘ ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@a.b.1078]

Even if she wanted Chanel bags I don't see anything wrong with that. Every woman deserves to be provided for in the way that she wants, and if that includes getting Chanel bags on top of the basic food, water and shelter, then good for her. We should really stop telling women their desires are frivolous, because then that leaks into everything they desire, and that makes men feel justified in never paying for anything and associating food and rent with being frivolous. Also, men are allowed to be as frivolous as they want, we call them kings and congratulate them when they spend $20,000 on a watch when they could've just checked the time on their damn phone, so why do we put women down for wanting to spend that kind of money too??? Also, I don't believe that simply being provided for is enough for a woman to choose to give birth. It's life altering, it's painful, it's traumatizing, not to mention the fact she could literally die. She needs to get a LOT more than just a roof over her head and food to eat. She's just reduced to being a pet then, so can we NOT normalize becoming pets and normalize getting a good life out of marriages instead?

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

So, we need to do all the provider and protector role but if we want a mother for our kids, that's a maybe/maybe not? Lmao

[@_DeadlyNightshade_]

Seeing the arab woman in the video: As an arab woman myself, most of us are traditional meaning we are expected to be married at a certain age and are expected to have children, its a culture thing. This man coming and telling her that he doesnt want to do his job... go tell that to her father. Tell that to her family. Us arabs dont fukc around, her family will kick you out the door in seconds. Arab women are raised to respect ourselves. In Islam there's this thing called Mahr (bride price) (guy pays an amount of money to the woman's parents to be able to marry her) is even high for the arab man especially in low economy arab countries. Many arab women end up single because if a guy is not earning high enough he doesnt even bother to date until he establishes himself and has enough money to pay for a wedding and a house. Some arab men got to the west because girls there have less demands, financially and romantically. It is indeed Expensive to marry a traditional woman.

[@Vibrantly_Monochromatic]

The irony

[@elena3476]

I have a curiosity if you dont mind, how is an arab women able to survive if she s single, since its probably extremly difficult if not impossible to provide for herself in a traditional society and her father wouldnt be able to provide for her for the rest of her life?

[@Vibrantly_Monochromatic]

i believe someone once told me that the male relatives of the girl are suppose to take care of her for the time being until she gets married, i could be wrong@@elena3476

[@lucky0197]

I can second this . This is a common culture for a lot of middle eastern and Asian people’s cultures. You are not ready for a wife and kids as a man you dont need to waste anyone’s time. The families protect their daughters from these types of men. Usually in many cultures, the woman’s father, brothers or whoever male figures are present will vet the man interested in your hand for marriage because it’s their role do so under their responsibility to provide and protect. These cultures take these values more seriously than what we do in the West. They are to protect you from the DUSTIIES lol. He won’t be getting anywhere near you to manipulate you or make use of your loving feminine nature because he won’t make the cut 😂. So the thing is if they think you’re not mature enough, not financially stable enough etc They expect you to work harder and get to a place where you DESERVE a wife and kids. This is the general consensus in non European/Western cultures for the most part .

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

0:22 my first thought was the video you showed here lol. People in the comments on Twitter said it right: he’s not looking for a wife, he’s looking for a slave.

[@taylormfinney]

Yep!

[@anonplussedhuman2615]

A slave to also have sex with.

[@Uiuiooo]

I hate to break it to him but if he thinks that he is going overseas to get the best women he's delusional these high value women won't give him time of the day overseas///and girl to the video she is Palestinians living in the US and they chose Morocco as a destination date so he's bot even dating there

[@therealmanifestelle]

perioddddd

[@lucyanderson9064]

Women are supposed to 'put family first', but a man will bully, and gaslight her into NOT doing so. Like, 'What? You only care about money??' Well, yes sir, my kids, and I need to eat, have a roof over our heads, pay bills, etc. You need money for that, or didn't you know? The men are resentful of the fact that we expect to have the BASIC things in life! Think about what they are actually saying, it's far more insidious than most of us realise. You know, this is really apparent also when these misogynists divorce. Suddenly these 'traditional men' are happy, gleeful to impoverish his wife, AND his kids if he has any. He will either be a deadbeat dad, and never pay them anything, and never see them. Or he will steal her children from her, and traumatise the mother, and kids. Either way, she is always left impoverished, because he has to 'punish' her, and drag her in, and out of court forever. (women initiate nearly all divorce, I wonder why?....) Once you see these patterns, you notice them everywhere, and you learn to avoid these kind of men like you would avoid the plague. So, what happens is the dating pool for women, is just these discards of other women! And so we are rejecting them, and then they start to look in other countries after having no luck locally. And they lie, (a favourite past time of men) and say the women local to them don't 'meet their standards', when it's literally the other way round. These men are unable to get dates.

[@bibichillieblue]

What about men who are successful and make decent money, but still don’t want to provide??? Are they just selfish for nothing? My parents had a traditional way of doing things. My mom was a stay at home wife/mom and my dad paid the bills, yet he was quite cheap. Don’t get me wrong, my dad earned a very excellent salary and did provide for us, but he was reluctant to “spoil” my mom. Whenever she would buy us toys or new shoes for herself, he would get angry. My mom inherited money from her dad, so she could get away with it. But I’ll never understand it. Why be so angry about being able to provide for your family? What’s the end goal here??? My mom did briefly work while having two kids, but quickly stopped because she wanted to stay at home. That had always been her dream. She even beats herself up til this day that she had to put my sister to daycare when she was 6 months old because of work. So what’s the deal here? Why are men so heavily complexed even when they have everything in front of them? Why is he ashamed that he can afford a cleaning lady? She’s clearly not the one who’s upset about it, she just wants a job like calm the fuck down😭why is he ashamed that he can remodel his kitchen and give his family more than one toy on Christmas?? Why??? I simply don’t get it.

[@PraiseJ-Pope]

Selfishness and the option to make a woman(and the kids) depend on him -> power. He's imagining his wife begging him for a pair of shoes on her knees and he as benevolent king grants her this wish and is praised and gifted with sex.

[@elena3476]

​@@PraiseJ-Pope Thats so on point, and women for some reason accept this...

[@RawOlympia]

I know marxist men like that, once a waiter came over and reminded one I was stupidly with that the dead shows he went to were full of expensive lights, electricity, etc. It's something I have seen in New England manboys in college who never turned on the heat, etc.

[@yuriosato3565]

Literally my family !!!!! Whyyy would anyone NOT wanna spoil their loved ones and be happy for them??? They always be SO BITTER when it comes to me. They are cheap dont spend on themselves and expect you to do the same. And remind you of their sacrifices! (even when they earn way above average income)

[@RawOlympia]

@@yuriosato3565 ugh!

[@cosmospray]

But women love freedom too, it’s not only about confort and material, sometimes freedom is about financial freedom, staying with a broke man is a huge burden everyday and women we are not made to carry it. As shera✌️very well said one time : we are not in the mood for love when there is bills to pay. No joke women in half of married couples don’t want to have sex anymore with their 50/50 ! Thank you for your videos and you are amazingly beautiful 👑💎

[@taylormfinney]

This is literally me. I am that woman in the 50/50 who is sick of it!!

[@cosmospray]

@@taylormfinney depends on how much time and investment you shared but if very little, just get out! If a lot: communication, but bad habits are very difficult to change 🙏🙏

[@7Mushrooms7]

Being stress free is the best afrodisiac but these men don't get it and keep bringing stress to women's lives and burdening them and then be all surprised Pikachu when these women feel no desire for them.

[@lilithgrrrl]

@@7Mushrooms7😂😂😂 “surprised pikachu” love it!!

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Infact, the feminine is freedom.

[@7Mushrooms7]

I came into this "world" through the Female Dating Strategy, Sheera and Maria (SATS). It helped me stop being a pickmeisha and I don't want to get back. I'm in an happy relationship now and only found your channel today. Love the way you go straight to the point and explain things. Keep doing the good work!

[@gogogo26993]

where do i find these maria?

[@Instarius]

They are still pickmes though, they want to be picked by the "right" men

[@TheNonMuslimNiqabi]

​@@gogogo26993The original poster is likely referring to the KZbin channel SASS. I too enjoy Maria's channel as it encourages high self-worth , introspection and dating with purpose.

[@annamika5461]

please make a video on this: All the men I come across are mostly the type that want to provide and be the "alpha", but I find that once they get that position they become kind of disrespectful. They'll take any chance they get to remind you of how they're providing which in turn makes the woman feel inferior as hell. Also once whoever they're responsible for becomes submissive to them they start crossing the line with their demands, comments and need for control. it's very annoying and it stops me from letting myself be feminine in anyway cause these assholes take advantage of people being nice to them and allowing their leadership. Oh also!!! I've come across those that want to be the provider, but will spoil their woman ONLY at their convenience or only provide for necessities for the family and expect her to work in the home all day. Which is disrespectful as hell. I'd rather work a full-time job and provide for myself and get my house cleaned/maintained and meals prepped by a company than cook, clean like a maid and still manage to be in a good mood and look good by the end of the day only for a guy to come home and act like he's THE MAN for sitting at a desk all day -_- like buddy I could easily do that shit myself..I LET you feel like THE MAN

[@redleeks6253]

That kind of behavior isn't exclusive of provider mindset.

[@CS-bu7lo]

This is how feminism was born! My great-grandmothers lived long lives as home makers and had many kids and brought dowry and told us never to depend on men for anything. They had lots of stories about life before, during and after WW1 and WW2, the Spanish Flu Pandemic, etc. Back in those days, many men pretended to be gentlemen, but were nasty in private ,just because they could, and, despite bringing dowries, many women had to struggle ,because the husbands were stingy with the money. If patriarchy was so great, why did so many women want to work full time jobs?! Few really love their jobs, most do them to pay the bills and to be able to afford shelter and care when they are sick and/or old.

[@CS-bu7lo]

@@bryanpittman7540 "Nobody sane leaves a good marriage " is a saying in my country, and it is true. If someone, woman or man, is not sane, they will behave badly regardless if they live in a patriarchy or an equalitarian society. If people are sane and good persons, men or women, they will be glad to stay in good marriages. All the feminists I know are happily married to good men and have kids, biological or adopted. Feminism doesn't mean men are worse or other nonsense, it just means equal rights in front of the law, equal pay for the same job and equal taxes for the same money earned. Anything else is femi-natzi, not feminism ! Those are confused a lot, just like masculinity is unfairly confused with mysoginy...

[@lnaph]

I think a woman should be able to work at thr same 5ime she shouldn't have to. A man shouldn't Valk at bring the primary breadwinner. . .and she should have the freedom to make money as well if she should so choose... but not to take his iob as breadwinner.

[@PraiseJ-Pope]

You said it yourself, you'd rather make your own money and care for yourself only than have a low value man who doesnt do shit and costs you energy. Dont put up with men who dont add something positive to your life. This is not 1950s, you can absolutely live on your own and do great. Like Elle said, it's economics - would you ever get a roommate who doesnt pay shit, eats your food, trashes all the rooms and makes demands too? No! So why allow a man to do this - for sex only? Because society says so? Fuck no.

[@caseyjones1548]

I think the problem for a lot of these passport bros will be when they bring over their new wife to the West and realize they have to live a rather frugal lifestyle compared to what they anticipated

[@emmanarotzky6565]

Yeah those women from cultures where they expect a man to provide for them live in countries where it’s easy to raise a family in a single income. I don’t know about other western countries but in the US that’s not possible unless you’re actually rich. And I suspect it wouldn’t be a fulfilling life for the woman even if it were possible… depending on her goals anyway. Being a stay at home parent can be great if that’s your calling but nobody should assume it’s for them just because they’re a woman (or that it isn’t for them just because they’re a man). Communicate, be honest about what you want, and be realistic about the economy. I grew up with a stay at home parent but that was only possible because my other parent was a doctor. People with regular jobs can’t do that in the US.

[@Benessa_]

Like Maryline once said "how you gonna have time for romance wjen you have to worry about bills"

[@Metzcalli]

That’s right it’s on us to do the choosing! A provider guy though truly insecure guy tried to guilt trip me for not choosing him after a month of dating. I said nice try, now I see he’s the kind of guy to play victim and guilt trip women just for not getting what he wants or them not being impressed with his efforts and wanting something else.

[@therealmanifestelle]

the fastest way to get to know a man is to draw a boundary

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

@@therealmanifestelle all step back and withdraw your presence. Great way to separate the chaff from the wheat.

[@emmanarotzky6565]

Lots of “provider” guys are insecure. It’s one thing to enjoy providing for the people you love and doing things for them, but if you make it your whole identity to the point where you get offended or feel “emasculated” when a woman makes more money than you and wants to pay for you and spoil you sometimes because, you know, she cares about you, then you’re too insecure for a relationship.

[@ginanotafan1039]

Month long lurker, I think first comment? I'm going back & starting at the beginning of your library now, & I just wanted to tell you I'm a 44 yr old reforming pickmesha, I literally just yesterday finally blocked the guy I was in my last toxic entanglement with for years, in large part thanks to you and this Amazing podcast!!💜 (And it feels great!!✨💃) You never fail to help me get my head on straight, you've completely changed how I look at men and helped me recognize my own inherent value as a woman- its not hyperbole when I say discovering your channel has changed my life!!💯 Thank you for helping to set me straight, I appreciate you Very much!!!!!💜💜💜✨

[@briskettacos]

It's never too late to break free. 🎊 You have so much valuable advice to offer the newer generations. Teach them to avoid the mistakes and traps!

[@confidenceiskey477]

I am turkish and my dad always provided for us and spoiled me, my sister and mom. Thats how i want my man to be too.

[@EmyEgy31]

as Egyptian, I think its better women provide 50/50 and Men do house chores 50/50 too. most problem with men like him and men in my country, they wants women to help them provide, while they still refuse to help take care of their kids and house chores. and they hide how they wants to be lazy and selfish by calling women gold diggers or we wants traditional wives.

[@NoName-sd8qu]

اهلا من مصر ❤

[@jaimiemainberger5039]

I’ve been sticking to my guns on having expectations that a man provides ans protects and I’ve been alone for 3 years. No men want to date me. I’m too high maintenance to them. Because I expect a dinner date instead of coffee hang out or cocktail hang out. It’s a sad dating market right now.

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

Are you hot at least?

[@jaimiemainberger5039]

Same as me asking why do you men Expect women to put out when you put Minimal effort and invest as little as possible? Same question my dude. There was a day men took a lady to dinner or lunch he was interested in and she showed up looking beautiful and both people put effort in. A lunch or dinner does not have to cost a lot of money but if you are that Into coffee dates you are just cheap buddy. Call it what it is. Men like you are lazy low effort probably play video games and have roommates or live at home. You are not even the caliber of man I look at. Coffee? Hahaha. Byeeeeeeee

[@lnaph]

Coffee dates are good for first dates. You aren't stuck with someone you aren't into for a long time. Meet sit chat go. . . Then decide if you want a more invested date after that.

[@jaimiemainberger5039]

I can see that point but if I like a guy enough to meet in person I don’t have time to just meet for coffee. I’d rather talk on the phone, get to know one another a bit and then decide if we want to meet for a date. That included dinner.

[@lnaph]

@@jaimiemainberger5039 I always speak at least once in the phone. Still, I can tell you from experience talking on the phone many times and ans even a video chat can be deceptive, because there is no replacement to seeing a person face to face... I have been attracted over video Chat only to meet and feel completely unattracted. I do t like feeling like someone has spent a lot ofoney on me it feels bad enough to not persue another date. I find the best for my time is a quick meeting. I don't even care if food is involved. I just want to observe and interact with hem in person and see how we both feel.

[@bletila]

once i dated a guy who was “liberal” and loooooved sexually free women who’d sleep with him and do all sorts of things so he could brag about it to his bros. i liked him and i was young and naive, and i allowed him to use my sexuality as he wanted, always feeling used and degraded. one day i got fed up of his behavior and not being a decent boyfriend and he said he was “too traditional” while i was not. so he didn’t want anything serious with me because of that. but the only reason i acted the way i did was because he manipulated me.

[@mlleclaudette]

Exactly. They only want to feel safe, and women who challenge that standard are just threatening to them 😂

[@justicedruid4242]

I really don't understand when men accuse women of being gold diggers. Like sir, back in the days where parents arranged marriages, who do you think they would've chose?

[@oindrilabhar]

Elle's expressions and eye rolls from 0:36 to 1.00 give me life. Rewatched it several times.

[@therealmanifestelle]

😂😂

[@miovicdina7706]

If a man does not know how to build a house with his own hands (with his male friends to help him build it), he is not a traditional man. If he doesn't know how to repair things around the house, wooden furniture, doors, electricity, plumbing, paint the walls, he is not a traditional man. If a man doesn't know how to raise cattle and sheep and poultry and how to grow vegetables and crops, if he cannot create food with his own hands, he is not a traditional man. If he is not prepared to go to war and die to defend his own people and his society's system of values, he is not a traditional man. He is a spoiled adolescent who wants mommy number 2 to cook and clean for his incapable, unskilled a*s.

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

Same with women who cant cook, clean, educate children, knows how house economics and doesnt know how to please her man

[@salamnassar652]

The clown music got me 😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡

[@therealmanifestelle]

😂😂

[@SilentTrip]

The audacity of the passport bros...

[@t.78d]

They are desperate

[@foxyfables_bookish]

I love ur vibe “ur not going to have a family if u don’t bring the materials” lol

[@beigelover95]

I'm a homeroom teacher and i'm at work. I saw this notification and I got so happy. I can't wait until I'm a kept wife and no longer have to work!! 😍🌴 your videos help a lot

[@therealmanifestelle]

class is in session, bestie ✨✨

[@chokenbako890]

This is the type of content we needed in KZbin fr, thank you for speak our truth. A time ago I also wanted to talk about tis topics but I'm not ready to expose myself on internet, it's great to have women like you that are brave and recognize their value, send you so much love! 😸💗💗💗

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽thank you bestie

[@shirleypena4133]

@Manifestelle After all the hoopla over that guy Steve, I took a bit of time to research him online, and quickly found out the real story on him. It turned out that he had been married and divorced at least twice and that he is a major gold digger who had previously sought out older women with money. At the time that he was on that TV program, he was living almost completely off his parents, despite his age he was still living at home. He was certainly no catch for ANY woman. The woman seen in the video is not dating Steve, but in fact is his MATCHMAKER who-although her parents were Moroccan-was born and raised in New Jersey. She set him up with various women, all of them younger and much more attractive than Steve , but Steve behaved like a complete butt head to every one of them and he wound up connecting with none of them.

[@ashleymorris67]

😂🎉

[@Sociedadematriarcal]

Youre so pretty these guys who calls you ugly are crazy

[@AmericanDreamer]

probably because they hate that she sees through their BS 🤣

[@Sociedadematriarcal]

@@AmericanDreamer you’re right 🤣🤣

[@Elizabeth-mf3dn]

If a woman has kids she may want to quit. That means the man has to be able to handle the pressure - a wife and family does not come cheaply

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

5:54 a lot of men have a lot of shit to unpack and other men have convinced me straight men don’t actually *like* women typically

[@LammyHowl]

So glad I found your channel, it's so nice to find someone who validates my valuing of myself and my refusal to settle! I learned a lot from you; well done, keep it up!

[@therealmanifestelle]

glad you're here, bestie 🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@susannehuber3996]

To have a young wife that deals with all your bullshit YOU NEED MONEY. why should these young beautiful women be „in love“ with you, when you just put up with her because she’s beautiful and young. If you want love you need to do soooooooooooooooooo much more than having money.

[@kubrosh]

Before clicking the video, my first thought was "there's no way I'm gonna watch something for 25 min that I already know about". So I looked at the chapters and chose only one. I liked it so much, I restarted the video and watched the whole thing! Thank you for this 28 min of fun and releasing shame bestie! New subscriber now!

[@gravityclarity]

Yup! Men always like to tell us we are ugly. As if that hurts us. 😂

[@user-sl1ec2mf6r]

I don't even care much

[@gravityclarity]

@@user-sl1ec2mf6r I don't care either! Lol. I'm beautiful. M³n are dumb!💁🏽‍♀️✨️

[@isabelcastano1855]

My boyfriend does 5k per month and he buy me luxury bags and travel me to 5 start hotels. LADIES IF THEY WANTED THEY WOULD.

[@anonplussedhuman2615]

If he's only making 5k and paying rent you should tell him to save it for a house and or kids. That's not a lot and buying that material crap isn't good long term. I'm a designer btw so I've seen so much luxury crap in my life and it's so unnecessary. One good bag and 3 good shoes. The rest isn't needed

[@thelucariamonarchs4889]

It doesnt work like that, also he's stupid by wasting his money like that

[@YSANROCHEOfficialYoutube]

True

[@user-ux1ok7kr5i]

trad women raised super traditional, married a trad gent. we both think the passport bros are hilarious

[@flyfly5172]

The violin kills me all the time

[@Andromeda-md6ch]

Same! Lol

[@Lillith.]

I've dated men who make less than I do. They also wanted to pay for me. It isn't an income thing. It's just the way they were brought up. I didn't like it for years. As a college student it scared me. But out in the real world you just don't have the time to do that. On a first date they are on their best behaviour, anything you accept there will be there forever more.

[@ARS-fn6px]

Yes she prioritizes family thats why YOU have to go out and make the money. Its like theyre pushing 2+2=3 or something, TF.

[@vivkadbi]

Entitlement and gaslighting...That's when you know he's lived in a patriarchal American bubble his whole life🤦‍♀. I wouldn't be surprised if he travelled all the way convinced that all he needed to offer was a green card, lol 😂.

[@salamnassar652]

I’m Arab-American, my husband is arab immigrant. I work and he works. He makes around average salary and still has strong provider energy. My husband pays our bills (rent, utilities, gas, groceries, dates, vacations, etc) would rather die than take a dollar from me. I save/invest most of my salary, spend some on myself and some on gifts for him every now and then (which I often have to do in secret because he gets uncomfortable when I spend my money on him). In the end, we are doing better financially than our 50/50 counterparts because we live below our means by living at the level my husband can afford to provide, while saving/investing most of my income. A man will 100% treat you how he feels about you. If he is smart enough to see the value you bring to his life, he’ll be HAPPY to provide you the best lifestyle he can afford.🤍

[@therealmanifestelle]

thank you for sharing ✨ ✨ this is the vision

[@abul9052]

Look , if a man can’t afford to partner up instead of blaming it on the women, how about he ups his game not just financially but in personality and other qualities? Because being able to provide is only the first hurdle mate. He still needs to be lovable and loving!

[@RevkaDKQ]

I would argue a lot of the problem isn't necessarily that these men are are "average earners" so much as they have no concept of division of labor. If the man is working 50 hours outside the home and doing limited to no work inside the home; and the woman is working 50 hours inside the home while doing limited to no work outside the home; that is an equitable division of household labor. He's exchanging the expense of the woman's financial needs for not having to do any housework, and she's exchanging having to work at a job for increased housework. However, if both parties are working 40 hours outside the home AND the man still expects to do limited to no work inside the home... that's not an equitable division of labor. You're not a contributing partner, you're a costly parasite. If you want to go 50/50 on expenses, you need to go 50/50 on chores. Easy. Nothing these men are willing to do.

[@joygibbons5482]

This, a thousand times. This is why living as a single woman is increasingly the preferred option. As a woman who is single in my 60s, adding a man into my life simply means more responsibility, caring, providing an endless stream of meals etc. It’s not a gain overall, it’s a zero sum game

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

My ex actually said that because he made more money, that means he didn't have to do much else. Even though I worked more hours and my job was more physically demanding and I had to be on my feet all day, and he had a desk job 🙄

[@maef7026]

Passport bro: I want a traditional wife but I also want her to work and I want her to be way younger than me. Girl: So you're not even willing to be a traditional husband then. Passport bro: NOW listen here you golddigger!

[@NoName-sd8qu]

You also forgot the part where they say that they want a virgin woman who never kissed anyone but they expect her to kiss them on the first date and even have night with them and on a top of this they think that it's okay to cheat on her. Like the hypocrisy of this 🙄

[@maef7026]

​@@NoName-sd8qu Because in his head he is just such a special boy that a woman who has been a virgin all this time just couldn't resist him because he's more special then all those other boys, and he's just so much smarter than anyone that thanks to his superior negotiation skills( AKA coercion, bullying, making her feel unsafe if she doesn't do what he wants) he can convince her to have s*x with him.