Dear Authors... Romance

[@archiveofmorgan1047]

Always remember the kiss rule: If the charcaters have to kiss for the reader to know they're in love, they're not in love

[@Visualnovels770]

Exactly

[@fiver2543]

Yea, i think ive heard of this rule before

[@matthewb4988]

Although... In 1st or 3rd limited, you can definitely have a kiss be what lets both MC and readers know that a character is in love with MC.

[@LM-ix7pk]

I don’t understand people’s perception that only blushing, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, etc equals love.

[@CassidyDrew13]

Yes! I felt that Fourtris was very forced in the first book (Divergent). I was taken by surprise when they kissed, even though I'm an avid reader who can (almost always) sence a romance from the first few moments of the two characters meeting.

[@thebooknerd7914]

Bella's personality from twilight- EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD BUT JACOB THOUGH NO EDWARD

[@fineapple3435]

THE booknerd Edwards personality I’m so edgy, oh look at me. I have a very sad backstory, I’m so edgy. I love you Bella, even though we literally have no chemistry together and that you probably should just call the cops, I’m so edgy .

[@amonrawya3064]

Priceless XD

[@deeqaisse3574]

No no no you've done it wrong EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD *EDWARD HAS LEFT THE CHAT* OOOO~ jacob be lookin fi- Ops never mind EDWARDS BACK EDWARD BUT JACOB- NO EDWARD JAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCOB NAH EDWARD THE BEST BOI

[@Dachusblot]

Hahaha I remember reading that book before all the crazy Twilight hype happened, and in the first few chapters Bella was like, "I don't like rain, I don't like being outside, I don't like anything, I don't do anything." And I was like, "OK so our main character's personality is that she has no personality. Interesting choice." Oh, but she was clumsy. That counts as a personality trait, apparently.

[@yochill6615]

Sums it up pretty well

[@SpookyyV]

“It’s disrespectful to the friendship and disrespectful to my marriage.” “If my value to someone begins and ends with my willingness to make out with them”. Both of these spoke to me.

[@taylor_green_9]

I was so creeped out by those facts! Of course I'm sure all her followers agree that Merphy is super cute and attractive, but... She has a husband. And their marriage seems really sweet and healthy. If I were to ever ship her with anyone at all, it could only be Korey. Not some random friend of hers, and definitely not myself

[@TheRenegade...]

@Hans Hanzo disrespectful*

[@Ali-zn6sg]

I think John Oliver said it best when he said that consent is like a boxing match. If two people are up for it, it’s a boxing match! If only one person is up for it, it’s assault...

[@kingkylie9655]

@Fleur Garden Wow you're a nerd lol

[@silverdirtdraws9828]

@Fleur Garden they did they just missed a word

[@NylaTheWolf]

honestly that's amazing

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

That is a good quote.

[@Honeyvixencos]

That’s actually really good holy shut

[@cactus.3157]

It is okay to have mentally ill characters in relationships BUT please don’t act like the romance will cure their mental illness. It’s quite frankly insulting. Just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean my trauma and mental issues just disappear.

[@cactus.3157]

Sky Dome I have literally never heard of that. I’ll check it out!

[@LeeAnneRMT]

You mean a kiss from Prince or Princess Charming still doesn't cure mental illness?? Shocking! Oddly enough I could bathe in essential oils and it won't fix my depression either.

[@LeeAnneRMT]

Check out the Rosie Effect and the Rosie project. I think they handle some things well.

[@cactus.3157]

Hans Hanzo my sister loves that show and I’ve seen quite a bit of it :) I like it a lot

[@cactus.3157]

Lee-Anne RMT will do!

[@EDDIELANE]

whenever you see a tender comfortable relationship, you know that one of them is going to die.

[@luciak.4026]

Oh my gosh, that is so true.

[@madixoxo246d6]

OOF WHY IS THAT TRUEEEEE

[@kuroegg]

Leeber Snowy basically kaede akamatsu and shuichi saihara from danganronpa

[@kibleofmelnibone589]

Sad but true!

[@wormypop6881]

@@kuroegg why u gotta bring up battle scars i got over that phase that 200$ phase

[@Heroshii15]

"I have as many male friends as I do female friends." Same. That number is zero. I get the feeling a lot of authors are the same way.

[@loxee4769]

mayhaps i did a chuckle

[@crowthewicked8344]

I gotta respect that dedication to the joke.

[@cutecobra9696]

At least you have nonbinary friends.

[@tahala1185]

Lol nicely said

[@yourneighborhoodbooknerd303]

Yeah my only friend is the toilet in the bathroom we have lunch alone together

[@shibbylou-hu]

honestly, the scariest romantic trope (besides everyone has to be in love with each other and friendships are not allowed) is the trope were Person A can not function and is unstable without Person B, like, the author may not say 'Person A is unstable and will probs put themselves in danger without Person B in their life b/c Person B is their therapist/only life line to happiness or sanity, but it's definitely there. It's not cute. It's a horrifying situation to be in.

[@fineapple3435]

Liz C. THANK YOU.

[@fineapple3435]

And what I hate more than that is that when a character has a mental illness or is emotionally unstable or has (a dark and sad past and only true love will save their soul) or something similar. And then when they suddenly date someone they are suddenly cured . Like that is literally not real. I get that it’s possible that a love interest can help and support their lover with their issues but mental illness doesn’t work that way.

[@sophiagomez5619]

Been there. It’s draining, but one thing that helped is that we don’t live in the same state (and I feel the proximity might have just made it worse for both of us). My emotions are weird, so Im able to bounce back from those episodes just fine but I feel like anyone else would honestly be traumatized. Ive actually seen people have to go into therapy because of similar situations.

[@sugaryheaven4089]

Like Bella and Edward

[@elisamozo3808]

Sugary Heaven Yeah. The second book, when he broke up with her and she started trying to put herself in dangerous situations to see an image of him... disgusting

[@ame_thyst_99]

About the Friendship thing. An example is the scene in Harry Potter and the deathly hallows (in the movies) where Harry and Hermione dance togheter while Ron is away. I was do worried that they would kiss the first time i watched it. But then when it ended and i realized it was two friends dancing togheter, finding happiness and light even in a terribile and depressing situation. I find that scene so powerful and beautiful. And a kiss or something like would have totale ruined it

[@harenava1451]

"She's like a sister to me." That's probably my all time favorite quote about Hermione from Harry. It shows just how healthy the two of them are together as friends and how close the two have gotten over the past several years.

[@lenaertsjelke]

And that’s why I hate when Hermione/Harry shippers use this scene to prove their ship (even though I do think the movie made it look more romantic on purpose because I feel like throughout all the movie they push Hermione/Harry more than Hermione/Ron like the books did. But that’s a rant for another time). It’s just a beautiful moment between friends trying to see the light in the darkness.

[@MechanicGopher]

That’s how I felt about Rey and Ben Solo, only I was sadly disappointed.

[@nont18411]

Harry and Hermione relationship is similar to Captain America and Black Widow. Their relationship is more than just friends but not the romantic one despite she kissed Cap once. I like the scene in the Winter Soldier when both of them took refuge in Sam’s house. Their conversation could escalate into romantic subject (because the sexual tension in that scene was so high) but instead they focus on both of them trusting in each other which is the important part that shaped Cap’s attitude in the later movies (especially Civil War) also in Civil War, I also like the scene that Nat went to Peggy’s funeral because she cared about Cap’s feeling and didn’t want him to be alone.

[@averybell4273]

Yes.... ty!!!!

[@Ali-zn6sg]

A random observation, but when there is a good relationship, I see a lot of people in the fandom praising the heck out of the man...just for doing things that all good people should do. Like there’s one series where one of the male characters has so many good qualities. He goes above and beyond. But the one thing people bring up most about him is when he asks for consent or lets the girl make her own choices. Like...there are so many good qualities but he’s being praised just for doing things all good people should do? Nah

[@darkdream1469]

Says a lot about relationships in books/series.

[@shushia1658]

Yeah, but there's so many crappy romances with absolutely the worst relationships and no concept of consent 🤢

[@MsHermyGranger]

I would imagine myself doing the same because my life really lacks support and this kind of respect that should be natural. Abuse is so damn common and we're made to be okay with it. It just says a lot about those people

[@fineapple3435]

Ali Perez *cough cough Percy Jackson cough cough cough*

[@sophias.8323]

Black Posydon Percy Jackson? Why do you think so?

[@esmereadsandeats]

It is completely fine and dandy to ship any fictional characters you want. To ship real people, especially when one or both of them is in a relationship with another person is simply harmful and disturbing.

[@T3aoclock]

Insulting, sure. Harmful, how?

[@sabinebrander8237]

Tea o' Clock to me it seems harmful in the way it creates an environment where everyone always needs to be shipped with someone and other people sticking their noses in non of their business just because they think two people are “cute together”. Thinking two people would make a good couple is fine but the way it’s often shoved down peoples throats is not healthy

[@midknight9188]

@@sabinebrander8237 yeah but also it sorta implies that the person that they are with isn't good enough or "right" for them

[@sabinebrander8237]

Marla for sure!

[@esmereadsandeats]

It’s harmful in the way it affects all relationships involved. It affects the friendship because people are telling you to be with eachother, when you don’t want to. That can make things awkward and strain the friendship, just let people be friends. Also, the romantic relationship, imagine a bunch of people saying that your husband/wife should be with another person. How great they would be together, how cute, how they suit each other so well. That can cause tension and it’s so disrespectful to you and the relationship you have. Real people should not be apart of someone’s “ship”

[@NixNeri]

Relationships are like villains, romance for the sake of romance can be just as tacky as evil for the sake of evil. Whether it's love or hate or any other emotion out there, it has to come from withing the characters rather than put into them.

[@ihopeicanchangethisnamelat7108]

Oh thank God. I’m pretty sure I’m asexual aromantic and I have ZERO experience with romance, so when I’m trying to put it in my writing it’s really awkward for me, and it’s not very well-written. So far I have one that I’m pleased with and reading this was very reassuring for me lol.

[@NixNeri]

@@ihopeicanchangethisnamelat7108 thanks for the reply. It makes me happy to know that my comment helped 😊

[@TacticusPrime]

"Shipping" real people is a disturbing thing in the first place.

[@melodytheatre2887]

Looking at you, KZbinr fandoms

[@kuroegg]

TacticusPrime and they’re toxic too. If that’s not enough half of them are gacha or just 9-13 year olds

[@isabela6705]

I'd say shipping them is fine as long as it's just for fun. Unless you truly believe they're together and/or in love and go overboard in these beliefs (as in, pushing your fantasies onto other people), then you're not really hurting anyone i guess

[@melodytheatre2887]

I remember being in the Danplan fanbase and the shipping got so bad that the actual people had to come out and say that they’re not really comfortable with all of the shipping and inappropriate fics and stuff. And still, people shipped them and made weird inappropriate fanfics.

[@sewerratwithinternetaccess5694]

when she talked about ppl shipping her with someone with her husband in the video made me physically cringe

[@megdragon5191]

Re: the miscommunication trope... I hate it when a cpl breaks up due to second hand information. Like ‘dude, she told me to tell you she hates you and never wants to see you again’ and he just oh okay guess we’re broken up. C’mon! How am I supposed to root for two ppl who believe anything bad about the person without even asking them.

[@natalyaporter5730]

I agree - if there wouldn't be a plot with some simple communication, then maybe the author should choose a different plot...

[@pridemoth_]

The Danny Devito thing just basically means, "Would this still be romantic if the male lead wasn't conventionally attractive?" It's a bit of a roast on Danny Devito's looks lol Edit: What's with the people under this comment explaining Danny Davito's beauty to me?! I never said he wasn't attractive, I just explained the concept, get off my case

[@PsychologyDeepFact]

:)

[@pridemoth_]

@@PsychologyDeepFact you know what, I'd actually prefer Danny Devito telling me I'm cute out of context to a random stranger doing that

[@PsychologyDeepFact]

Lol

[@arrakis7132]

@@pridemoth_ too late shouldnt have told it when merphy asked...

[@quietrioter]

Danny Devito: Thank you....so anyway, I started blasting

[@chaoticmimo7984]

each finding the other attractive does NOT equal chemistry between the characters~ wish romance would develop relationships based on the characters' interaction rather than based on their sexual tension i have hope more authors will write romance as such 😁

[@asmilinggod147]

Exactly. I hate when two characters that don't really know each other are supposed to form a couple that would stay united for a long time. It would be ok if they started dating beacause they like how each other look, or because they have a that kind of childish crush and then they would start to understand more things about their partener and create a strong bond. It doesn't usually happen. It would be alright if that relationship was created to be just a sexual one or a short, not very significant one, but two people who are in for surface things don't just start, from nowhere, to be very connected and have a strong, long term relationship. They need time to develop as a couple and time to understand who their romantic interest is

[@chaoticmimo7984]

@@asmilinggod147 yeah! word for word, that's how I think things should be too 😁

[@saraiberio1106]

Defy the stars!

[@fufu3624]

When the boring love interest takes over the main story and overshadows the actual cool story.

[@jwhippet8313]

Twilight. She had throw away lines in there about Old-West vampire wars, vampires using mind reading to hunt dangerous criminals, Indian shamans fighting unstoppable vampires bent on killing whole tribes, and Renasance era machinations. It's like she was purposely mocking us by displaying she was fully aware of more interesting stories that could have been written about the same characters.

[@jgabd7119]

Yesssss the red queen

[@aenea7407]

@@jwhippet8313 Yes, you read my mind. Stories of other characters are so much more interesting, but they have no space at all:/

[@Tori_100]

*Cough **cough* "The Hunger Games. "

[@maryamhussain8182]

SHATTER ME god it had a great plot but it was completely overshadowed by the terrible love triangle.

[@yapdog]

The problem with every character coupling is that everyone's timeline is in sync with the main love interests', thus reducing the agency of those characters.

[@elsie8757]

Can you elaborate? What do you mean by "timeline"?

[@yapdog]

@@elsie8757 By timeline, I mean the collective points in time where significant events happen for a character. It's better if similar events are not in sync for character groups, especially pair bonding. For example, let's say that the two leading characters get married at the end of the book. If two supporting characters get engaged at their wedding, it's not horrible, per se, but it creates the impression that they're only getting engaged because the main couple is marrying. If the author intends to pair those supporting characters, as well, it'd be better if it happens outside of the context of the main characters, but still has some significance within the main story. For example, if the supporting characters get engaged much earlier, then that might put some pressure on the main characters, creating the opportunity for a richer story where all character have agency. Does that all make sense?

[@maadtee6281]

@@yapdog it depends here let's say a certain event happens say the end of the world like the zombie apocalypse like in the walking dead people will fall in love with each other due to the situation of wanting someone close to you

[@yapdog]

@@maadtee6281 I haven't seen The Walking Dead, but you propose an ensemble scenario, where the shared trauma is the story, not romance. That's out of context. The will-they/won't-they trope tends to drive romance-centric plots. And, if that truly is the center of the story, synchronized romantic timelines could stifle the agency of supporting characters. However, even in the context you've proposed (shared trauma), the impact of a pair bonding would be blunted if it's concurrent with others. The events should be staggered or interwoven, not stacked, if the story allows.

[@lucaleone4331]

As an author I'm just over here ticking all the boxes making sure my couple matches these lol

[@amazingly_bookish]

Hahaha same!

[@rikardosilva1754]

Oh, so you're a smart author... Like me!

[@erikadeandrade2119]

Me too hahaha

[@rena4627]

Same, I am here for pointers for my webcomic.

[@leilamarcia2908]

Basically...kkkkkkk

[@TheWordN3rd]

One of the reasons I love the Heroes of Olympus series so much is that you get to see one of the couples from the original series AS a couple, working together, and being cute. I'm sucker for books where they get together halfway through the series and then you get to see them working together through the rest of it.

[@TheWordN3rd]

@Drew Oooh, it's my song and you're singing it. Lol.

[@cybersketcher1130]

Rick Riordan is good at couples.

[@sophiagomez5619]

Problem I have with Heroes of Olympus is that I feel the romance takes up so much of the books than it actually should. Plus, Im not in love with the characters’s love interest. It makes me gag every time they mention how attracted they are to the other person. I wouldn’t condemn my friends to that fate with my thoughts about who Im interested in or dating, so I certainly wouldn’t condemn an audience to it. Besides it treads the fine line between the ‘in lust’ boundary too much in my opinion. It’s technically supposed to be a kids series, he should be more subtle with the romances like in the original percy Jackson.

[@TheWordN3rd]

@@sophiagomez5619 Well, I love the romance and think it's actually pretty appropriate for an older MG/YA crossover series. Didn't see any signs of lust and reading about other kids falling in love is definitely good for kids to see and help them navigate their own relationships and attractions.

[@venomousviper3691]

TheWordN3rd honestly, Percy and Annabeth do have one of the best relationships in fiction. But the other couples are too insta love. Frank and Hazel is okay, but Piper and Jason and Leo and Calypso are not my favorite. With Piper and Jason I used to like them, but then once I got to realize they both have zero personality and they rushed to dating. And I started to dislike them more because of what happened in the trials of Apollo. (I won’t give away spoilers in case you haven’t read it) And Leo and Calypso, they just start dating WAY too fast.Also I’m pretty sure Calypso mistreats Leo in the Trials of Apollo.(I read it a long time ago so I can’t remember it)

[@thomasrohde2327]

"Not every character needs to end up in a romantic relationship"... Looking at you J. K. Rowling...

[@cameronrobertson9800]

Neville marrying a character he didn't interact with once in 7 years. Obviously they could have got to know each other after school, but if you haven't spoke to someone once when they were in your classes, you probably aren't of interest to each other

[@nont18411]

I hate that GoT made Jon and Daenerys a romantic couple. I think they have a dynamic of competitive leadership more than love interest. Daenerys sees Jon as a leader that she always want to be, a good man, a bastard that stands out not by his lineage but by his good deeds, a man who can unite 2 factions that warring against each other for thousand years and loved by everyone while Jon sees Daenerys as a strong leader who fought her way out of the oppressive patriarchy, the one who abolished slavery for the good of mankind and the potential savior of the upcoming war against the White Walkers. I don’t see them as a couple but I see them as a good teammate.

[@DanicaChristin]

JKR is harmless ... Cassandra Clare is extreme

[@mmkk2637]

@@DanicaChristin so true! Literally every character is dating another character

[@kayeherl9195]

Cassie Clare is notorious for thisss

[@deliswriting]

I think my biggest pet peeve with romance is when you know you've met the love interest because the badass main character turns into a useless blob the second they see/meet the love interest for the first time. Or the hardened character having to say the words, "what is this feeling?" Like love is a whole new concept to them that they've never before felt and they can't comprehend it. I cannot take that character seriously.

[@Akigirl2004]

If you ever have a chance to watch Galavant, please do. It is a satirical heroes journey/love story. There is actually a song sung by a BA Queen that actually begins with “what is this feeling” - though the song is about humiliation, not love. Oddly enough, its followed by another song about experiencing love for the first time, its sung by a BA guy and is done sing-along style. It’s hilarious 😂

[@JayGTheAwkwardBookworm]

Yes I hate the cheating/lying trope!!!

[@himboratvin]

Speckled Legs wait what's after?

[@frannyc7248]

I think everybody hate cheating and lying in story and real life,but these trops can be a interesting plot /story in books and tv shows. For example: there can be a story were the main character is a cheater or was cheated on, we can go through the story and see how the character get over their so and see how they got through the heart break. An lying can be use for when the main character spent their whole life believe in something, but finding out that it was a lie and them finding out the truth.

[@christosgiannopoulos828]

It's even worse when you realise people do it in real life because books make them think it's acceptable

[@alandunaway3000]

@@christosgiannopoulos828 What makes people think it's okay is No Fault Divorce, that's why cheating is so common in real life.

[@strawbabyblaine5299]

Honestly awkward consent is a cute relationship building thing, two characters who’re awkward cause they’re asking each other to do the do it’s adorable

[@nicholasbeeson4999]

All of this made me think that the publishing industry should divide romance novels into 2 groups. Romance and Lust. I'm sure sales and reviews will improve if people understood what they are getting into.

[@DeeSnow97]

The problem with this is it would ruin the pretense of selling porn as "tasteful romance" and all the people who buy shit like fifty shades wouldn't buy it. I completely agree why it _should_ be done, this very pretense comes with the misattribution of porn as serious romance which is super unhealthy, but financially I don't think it makes sense for the publisher or anyone who writes it.

[@stephennootens916]

One could say that erotic romance is that second group. While the erotica romances often differ from each other in quality and the amount of sex in them they often pretty much are fulled by lust. There is crap like Fifty Shades which pretty much steels most of it's ideas from bodice-rippers and does it in horrible way, but there's also writers like Lora Leigh who do pretty good stuff and Opal Carew who leans heavier on the erotic side often having plots involving poly relationships.

[@Newfiecat]

YES. THIS.

[@frannyc7248]

Its called Erotica romances

[@Titanic_Tuna]

@@DeeSnow97 I think that was well said.

[@moonstone6164]

I hate books where the female main character can't choose between two guys for most of the series. And instead of the guys just giving up on her, they just keep being in a waiting position and try to win her over by flirting and being jealous. It is disrespectful and mean on her part and just sad on their part. And I hate when one of them needs to go away for a while for some reason so she starts developing a deeper relationship with the other until the first comes back again. Then she ignores all the progress she had with the other and goes back to love triangle.

[@cefippog2140]

that would be an ember in the ashes , this book contains bad romance

[@yanlopez674]

@occhiolism A webtoon fan eh?

[@yanlopez674]

@occhiolism Yeah, I thought the story at first would not pan out into a love triangle. Boy, was I so wrong

[@nanalove3819]

not a book but I remember when I watched Locked & Key and that instead of chosing one of the boys, the girl just propose to date both of them. I just thought "you go girl! give up the love triangle and just embraces polyamory!" (sadly one of the boy was not as exiting as I was lol). I think the most annoying part is that they did that in every book, and you know it is pointless because she always chose the first guy, so why even bother about that?

[@zaphael7238]

I hate love triangle tropes with a passion. If the triangle is done properly it just hurts. If it is done poorly, you are left with a cruel, fickle mc that is stringing the other characters along for their own vanity. Or a bad judge in character. I’m not a masochist, and either fickle or poor judge of character doesn’t do it for me.

[@mgmasoncreative3227]

I would love to see more love triangles where the two men decide to stop chasing the woman who can't decide between them, and run off into the sunset to bond as best friends. More bromance resolutions from love triangles, please!

[@DeeSnow97]

1. play Witcher 3 2. kiss Triss 3. don't let her go 4. tell Yen you love her 5. ??? 6. profit

[@vanelly5652]

Or just love triangles where everyone gets together, I love me some healthy consensual polyamory

[@ЗояКалайджиева]

@@vanelly5652 The Kane chronicles.

[@mikemorro140]

@@ЗояКалайджиева If your talking about Sadie don't the two guys she likes become one person

[@kyriss12]

Or at least the decent guy/best friend who's helping her with the bad boy drama gets tired of waiting for the girl to come around, and tells her to fuck off at the end. The only time I've seen that was the TV show True Blood (don't ask why I sat through that slow motion train wreck) were the main character went bouncing from one destructive relationship to the next. When she finally learns her lesion and goes to the decent guy who was pining for her he's got a new wife, with a kid on the way, and she was shocked that he didn't wait. Steven Kings The Stand had something similar between Larry and Nadine.

[@emmarichardson965]

As for the just friends aspect... that is one of the things I love about the tv show Psych. In the last episode, Shawn comments to Lassiter that he believes that Lassiter is the only one who loves Juliet (Shawn's girlfriend and Lassiter's partner--they're detectives) as much as Shawn does, even though it's different. I LOVE that line, because it recognizes that the love that you share with a friend you work with and watch their back back can be every bit as strong as the love you share with a romantic partner and neither relationship needs to threaten the other.

[@ellie_sarabellum]

That scene made me tear up. It was so pure and sweet. Lassiter loved Juliet like family, like a little sister or daughter. It was so cute.

[@mariapazgonzalezlesme]

Dear romance authors, make us care about the couple. Make us root for their relationship. And if you are planning to make a sub-plot about them, offer equally character development and personality.

[@stefanieratchev502]

I kinda like funny relationships because it’s fun seeing the characters like "fight" for example the Percy and Annabeth meme when Percy proposes with a joke and Annabeth will say something like "DiD yOU juSt pRoPosE!?"

[@estellesmith4118]

Yeeess! I love these and tried doing it for two of my characters that are dating (Their names are Patton and Alex and I love them more than life itself). It probably doesn’t work, but I tried and I still think they are cute.

[@Cassia_L]

I actually want more failed relationships. Things didn't work out, not because of drama but because they got together during stressful time and needed one another at that moment, but when everything calmed down they just didn't fit. And it's ok. And they still have that shared history that will make them friend forever, just no longer lovers. And the first time one of them find someone else to love romantically, the other automatically feel jealousy bubbling up inside of them before shutting that down real quick, reminding themselves they have no right to be jealous and that this is a good thing, for both of them. They become even better friends after that.

[@valeleon7095]

this 👏👏👏👏👏

[@T3aoclock]

Yes!

[@souvikmitra6161]

The first bit was great but the jealousy and quick correction part adds so much that we need to see this!

[@Archonsx]

Most stupid romance ever

[@4BWVan]

This was actually done in a David Baldacci book! The Secret Service agent who is friends with the main character was dating someone during a very stressful time in the plot, and in the next book, we're told they didn't work out after all. Also, the main character is older, and Baldacci shows him having a really nice, if complex, relationship with a younger female character that is more father-daughter than anything. And he so easily could have done a forced romance.

[@lllinai]

For me it’s about the small things. Specially in the begging, small touches and longing for each other, and both characters learning about the other and trying to be better, be there for them. Also confessions! They have to feel earned, the late step in them forming a relationship not the begging (idk if it makes sense). As a reader I want to feel like they’re are falling in love even when the characters haven’t realized yet, I love organic slow romances, sadly we don’t get that many in YA

[@melancholygirl7793]

I hate it when they go through all this trouble of getting a character in a relationship then next season they've broken up for unexplained reasons. It's not that it's unrealistic but it happens too many times that it's become a cliche.

[@taylor_green_9]

And it's always because the authors want to introduce a new love interest, which cheapens the previous relationship

[@melancholygirl7793]

@@taylor_green_9 It's just unnecessary drama. Then at the end of the final season(it's always the final season) they get back together. I don't know why authors are so afraid of writing relationships when the characters are actually together.

[@we4803]

Francisco Vargas or they can’t write two people in a relationship and just want to rehash the romance plot and get them together again

[@madixoxo246d6]

Kinda reminds me of what happened in Liv and Maddie! Liv and Holden especially did this. Ever since they introduced Holden they had been building up to his relationship with Liv. All the drama with Andy and the band and everything. They got together for a few episodes, and then Holden breaks up with her because her was upset and impatient that she wanted to hide their relationship from the media, and that she was helping Maddie (her own frickin twin sister for crying out loud) over him. Like he forgot when he said "I'll wait for you, as long as it takes." in that scene where he was trying out for Voltage. He said he really meant it, but then they just break up and they never get back together!!! We got teased at the end of season 4 but we never got closure for it! I mean, I know they are only teenagers, but how come Maddie got to be with Diggie officially, but Liv never ended up with an official love interest?!? Aaaaaagh!

[@SysterYster]

I agree. But I do like one of those, but it's not just suddenly and out of "screen". Dragonlance Chronicles and... the next trilogy. Tika and Caramon are a lovely nice couple. Then in the second trilogy, we find them in a breaking relationship due to psychological problems and stuff. It sort of breaks down and Tika throws him out, and as the books continue, Caramon finds himself again and returns to his wife. It's really well written. That's what I love the best with Dragonlance... the realistic characters and their developement and motivations and depth. The rest is less good, but I still find it enjoyable. Action filled fantasy. :)

[@zoekelly-soldner3808]

I really dislike when the conflict between the two love interests could be easily solved with just a simple conversation. When our characters make wild assumptions about what the other person is thinking or what their actions mean without actually talking to them about it drives me crazy

[@triasha3790]

You've seen a movie with Danny Devito. He was the dad in Matilda. You mentioned that you watched the movie when you were younger. You should pick up the book. It'd only take a day to finish since it's a children's book

[@thisnigerianlovessuya]

Triasha Chaudhury Someone’s observant ❤️

[@themisha1705]

I, personally, would be shocked and a bit disappointed in her if she hadn't read that, but if she hasn't, she should. I think that's a childrens book really everyone should read. Along with the Secret Garden.

[@mediatorraptor3349]

He was dad in Matilda? I never noticed it.

[@turkishundelightful5382]

A good one, though.

[@kippy7883]

In Matilda he was also the narrator

[@DenaliTheAdventuress]

Also when did “just friends” become such a commonly used term? As if a friendship relationship is somehow less than a romantic relationship.

[@issacclarke4194]

actually it is, less closer.

[@moriahboring6789]

Depends what you mean by close but okay

[@moriahboring6789]

@@issacclarke4194 depends more on the relationship and what’s it’s like there’s a lot people out there that are closer-to friends and family, than the people they are dating, or might date in the future

[@justemoi7610]

Ikr

[@nanalove3819]

@@issacclarke4194 that's called the amatonormativity : they idea that romance is better than any other kind of relationship. But in reality, this is a just a social norm, and it doesn't have to be that way.

[@janhavi1977]

I want relationships with less angst and less insta-lovey. Where the relationship is developed because of shared beliefs, or interests, and not just because of hotness or destiny or some bs. Case in point - Harry and Ginny Harry and Ginny have one of the healthiest relationships I have seen depicted in stories. They trust and respect each other, they enjoy each other's company. And I love how open and honest they are with each other. They even have a similar sense of humor. I think the reason people don't think it's romantic is because there isn't a whole bunch of drama and angst building up to their relationship. No misunderstandings, and fights, and all that. But that's why I love them. It's a very playful, fun relationship. The more people say they hate Harry/Ginny, the more I love them :) They also share a traumatic experience. Even Ron and Hermione can't even begin to imagine what Harry has been through. But Ginny understands him in a way no one else can. Plus, their shared love of Quidditch brings them together!

[@aitsamurunga7503]

This is my new favourite comment. Thank u. Finally someone gets it

[@anutresa3960]

Yes I agree.Harry and Ginny had a really healthy relationshipas a couple.Harry and Hermione had the most beautiful friendship where he treated her like a sister.It was never something more.This is one of the reasons why I loved the series so much

[@stevettebobbie1314]

Didnt feel harry and Ginny but I get what you're saying and I agree

[@hannah7000]

@@anutresa3960 Agree, I love how simple Harry and Ginny's relationship is. I think some romance makes a book better, but I don't really like it if it becomes the main plot. I hate complicated love triangles and drama. Also, I will always stand Hermine's and Harry's friendship. Its beautiful and understanding, it is relatable

[@NinjaFlibble]

my only problem with Harry/Ginny is that I don't see them interact much at all before the sixth movie/book and somehow Harry's jealous someone else is kissing her. I don't see the relationship develop between them like I do between Harry and Hermione. This is just my opinion, though. I'm glad you have your own :)

[@magggmae]

“Don’t romanticize abusive relationships, don’t make their life revolve around the girl.” DAMON SALVATORE DAMON SALVATORE DAMON SALVATORE

[@lenaertsjelke]

You talking about people shipping you with your male friends even though you’re married reminded me of other youtubers I follow. I don’t know if anyone knows them but MatPat and Rosanna Pansino. They are really good friends and constantly reffer to each other as brother and sister. Now Matpat is married and does almost daily live streams with his wife and has a son that regularly appears on his social medias and Ro has a long term boyfriend who also regularly appears in her videos and social media so there’s literally no way you could ever see those two as single. However EVERY time they collab the comments under those videos are full of people saying they ship them together and how they’re “obviously flirting” and it has always frustrated me to no end. I didn’t know constantly saying someone is like your sibling is flirting. Also it’s just so disrespectful to their significant others. Especially when they are in the video with them. I just don’t get why people can’t comprehend that people of the opposite sex can be friends without one of them being gay. I also don’t get how these people just don’t see that them shipping Ro and Mat are being disrespectful towards their partners. I’m sorry I went on a rant here that is kind of off topic but you talking about that just reminded me of this and I got really angry.

[@corenlavolpe6143]

I think shipping real life people in general is weird and can get pretty toxic. Like, we're not characters why would you even think about shipping us like we are?

[@emmap.7226]

Preach!!!!! This is so true!!!! One of my best friends is a guy and I once mentioned him to some other girls I know (but I'm not actually friends with them; we're actually polar opposites) and they were being all weird and lovy-dovy about it. It grossed me out on a whole new level. This guy is one of my best friends and having people think of us that way is disgusting to me. I would never in a million years think about him like that.

[@madixoxo246d6]

@@corenlavolpe6143 I agree that shipping real people is weird! Although, maybe if the people who are getting shipped aren't already in a relationship with anyone else and have some (not platonic) chemistry with each other, as well as not having said anything against the shipping then I think it's understandable. But definitely avoid shipping real people tho. (Except for shipping couples who are already together ^-^)

[@IceRiver1020]

Whenever I talk about my guy friend to other people they're always like "ooooh, who's that?" Fortunately, everyone has listened when I say that we're just friends and he's more like an annoying brother to me. It's just kinda annoying to know that every time I bring him up to someone new I have to explain the nature of our relationship.

[@Ash_theanimesimp]

That's gross that people think that about them , ro does challenges and when matt is there she labbles it brother and sister 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I love there friendship though . Even there partners have a good friendship as far as what I've sceen from videos

[@nanalove3819]

"Not every character needs to end up in a romantic relationship" My aromantic heart couldn't agree more. Romance is not the only thing that can make a person happy and not everyone needs it!

[@Dan_Kanerva]

surely the most fundamental part of a living being (which is to reproduce and pass on their genes) is something that not everyone needs 😂 What you meant to say is that not everyone is ready for love given our current mental or emotional state... We might fool ourselves into saying "i _am quirky and unique, i dont need romance and a significant others. i am not like_ others" but that changes eventually once we are ready for love

[@nanalove3819]

@@Dan_Kanerva aromanticism is an orientation. It has nothing to do with a "I'm not like others" mentality. You have people attracted to the opposite sex, people atracted to the same sex, people attracted to all sexes. It is only logical to have people who are attracted to none. So yeah I meant exactly what I said : not everybody needs romance. In fact, there are people who need to not have romance in their lives to be happy. (And by the way, the reproduction argument doesn't even work as you don't need romance to have sex anyway... and we don't even need sex anymore, there is medical procreation... and let's not forget couples, straight or not, who don't want children... and anyway straight people must be something like 85 or 90% of the population, we don't risk extinction at all just because a few percentage of the population is not in a straight relationship)

[@Dan_Kanerva]

@@nanalove3819 no , is not logical to have people NOT attracted to anyone. Is just not. That's like saying you are someone who hates food. Someone who hates sleep. When are people in America gonna stop normalizing chemical imbalances in the brain ?

[@nanalove3819]

@@Dan_Kanerva saying this is as you stupid as saying thay straight people suffer from an imbavalence in the brain cause they can only be attracted to the opposite sex. when will people stop thinking they are doctors and can pathologize people they don't even know? Probably never and that's sad. Bye.

[@Dan_Kanerva]

@@nanalove3819 non sequitur fallacy , cupcake... attractions are natural so straight or gay or bi or whatever is biologically normal in the end . The absence of attraction is not . Do you need an expert to tell you if most serial killers have psychopath tendencies ? 🤦‍♂️😂

[@emmaelizabeth3373]

I really like it when the characters in the eventual couple already know each other reasonably well when the story begins. Maybe they’re close friends, maybe they’re just acquaintances, heck maybe they’re already dating, there’s nothing wrong with that! I just find it so much easier to root for a couple that already has an established dynamic. Yet for some reason, we hardly ever see this. I think instalove is so common because many authors aren’t that interested in writing the “getting to know each other” phase, but they still feel like they HAVE to chronicle the romance from the first meeting onward. It’s super frustrating.

[@fantasyalover4782]

I think "A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks can be one example of this, Jamie and Landon already knew each other since they were a child but they never really became close or friend even though sometimes they become seatmates i think because they're polar opposite but they already know quite somethings about each other not until Jamie started to actually interact with Landon when they're in highschool. i haven't read the actual book yet cause it's still in order of processing. so i just basing it on the movie. and also just excuse my broken English.

[@madixoxo246d6]

That's one of the reasons why the first characters in a romantic relationship I've ever written have been best friends since childhood XD. He's been in love with her forever, but he hides it, and she doesn't know.

[@IceRiver1020]

I have a a romance subplot where the two have been friends for over a decade. She's been into him for ages but he was so focused on his job and stuff that he never gave much thought to romance. They also get together in the midst of the story, rather than at the end, and the calm before the storm is them just being a couple, supporting each other, trying new things, and having fun.

[@thisnigerianlovessuya]

^^^Can I read them?

[@nickieb2636]

I'm writing a book (first ever) and it's about a guy who falls head over heals for his friend but she is dating another guy (a jerk) - I don't know how exactly, but, inspired by A Christmas Carol, I want my main character to be shown how not ending up with his friend was the best thing that could've happened to him! I want to write a love story that ends without the main character having found love, but accepting that sometimes you're better off alone!

[@f1content364]

I like it, I like it

[@thelibrarianofalexandria6200]

I love that idea like, Spoiler, P. S I love you by cecilia ahern.

[@PhilipAMoore]

it sounds like the song unanswered prayers.

[@estpm2893]

I would love to read this, but I hope she notice that her boyfriend is an asshole by herself. Please, make a beautiful female/male friendship, I need that

[@itzjaxxy]

How's the story coming along? What's the name, and where can i find it??

[@YukikoAimiyo]

Ok, about the coming out of the closet one. As an out lesbian, I dont think I could date someone who is still in the closet, I would never tell them they need to come out, it can be legitimately dangerous for some people. But saying that they cant date someone who's still in the closet is legit, as long as they aren't doing it just to try and force them to do something they aren't ready for.

[@merphynapier42]

I agree with you, it's the trying to force your romantic interest into something for your own benefit that's so selfish. But just having a preference of dating someone out is A Ok!

[@Ca11m3Raven]

Makes a video about romance, but can't stop talking about her husband. This is the most wholesome thing I've seen all day, and I actually wrote a breakthrough chapter for my romantic leads today.

[@astellus]

Wait. People ship booktubers??? So that's a thing I didn't know existed. Though, video idea alert, I'd love to see a video where someone ships various booktubers with books they think they would like. I've seen the opposite where a vlogger will read another person's recommended reading list.

[@wariolandgoldpiramid]

People ship all kinds of KZbinrs.

[@venomousviper3691]

wariolandgoldpiramid septiplier flashbacks *shudders*

[@fede98k54]

@@wariolandgoldpiramid Give humans the chance and they'll ship everything with *anything* xD

[@mjnotthemarvelone356]

All I want is for a story that has both straight/cis and LGBTQ+ characters that interact normally. Because it is normal. If your main character is straight, maybe one or two of their friends are LGBTQ+, and vice versa. And I also feel like some authors feel like they need to give all the LGBTQ+ characters a love interest, when a lot of the time, they really don't. Not to say that no LGBTQ+ characters can have a love interest/romance, but sometimes they want to be single. Sometimes they aren't in the right place to focus on romance. Or better yet, ever heard of aro/ace people? They exist, and they should be written as if they were normal people, because they are. All I really want is for LGBTQ+ characters to be normalized in fiction, because they are normal. When all's said and done, everyone is different, the only thing that makes you normal is the fact that everyone is different. (Also, please don't sexualize LGBTQ+ characters, that's just plain nasty)

[@alexandrialeonora6542]

One of my greatest joys was writing an asexual character (I'm also on the spectrum). He was a supporting character originally, but developed into something of a main character - genuinely one of the heroes of the story. And the beautiful part is that he has a very deep friendship with a girl (another supporting character in the story). There is nothing sexual between the two of them. Just a pure, genuine LOVE between two souls who each experienced their own tragedy growing up, and who end up being able to heal each other with the purity and strength of that friendship. I imagine that they will always be together - but their relationship is truly based on another kind of love. (I should also say that it is never explicitly mentioned that the male character is asexual. It's not "out there", just as asexual people themselves often go invisible. It's just another facet of who the character is, and in no need of fanfare.)

[@godofnothing428]

Amanda G. forced inclusion is annoying. It’s like having 4 white and 1 black person are all best friends. It’s unrealistic and pretty insulting.

[@shelbyinmon8654]

I am planning out a book where one of the characters is asexual

[@aspireistoinspirebeforewee3519]

Honestly they already sexualize straight relationships and characters

[@sanablue]

I have a story planned (it will take years and years before I ever finish it though) with a group of friends as protagonists and I didn't even try to be inclusive for the sake of being inclusive but rather it just happened... I just created a big bunch of characters and chose those who felt right for the story and now theres two bi characters, a gay dude, a lesbian, a ace/aro character, two straight ones and a trans girl. And a nonbinary person as a side character (and it's dumb but I'm almost glad they're not a main character because it already looks so forced...) And some of them are poc too. And now everytime I want to talk about these characters I feel so weird because it just looks like it did it on purpose... How can I keep these characters the way they are without making people think that it's just to make the story look inclusive...? :/ It's just that I like to have as many different characters in my story as possible... (sorry if there's some mistakes, english is not my first language)

[@zofiabochenska1240]

Omg, your (almost) ranting about "everyday love" made me tear up a little. This is so wholesome!

[@Matthew_Murray]

I don't like when relationships are given out to every character like Oprah giving out cars. Also I hate love triangles in stories especially when its clear who the main couple is but they had a third person for the stereyotpical "I got two cute boys fighting over me who should I pick" trope. If your character treats relationships like a smaple platter it makes me hate them.

[@ActiveAdvocate1]

Yeah, I was going to say, aren't you married? And yet people still insist on "shipping" you with your male friends or fans? Okay, THAT is creepy. And intrusive. And insulting. Ew. People, don't pull that shit. It's rude and no one needs it.

[@carloscamejo391]

yeah eww

[@lythist1849]

It’s like when your friends keeps asking who you like and your just like ‘ I don’t like anyone Jesus’ and they won’t get off your back about it For goodness sake let it go ppl

[@fineapple3435]

Yeah just keep it too yourself , seriously, I don’t understand why you’d be thinking that in the first place but whatever keep it to yourself . No one (especially the people being shipped) wants to hear that goddamn.

[@eliza3986]

@@lythist1849 & it's SO much worse in this case because merphy doesn't know these people.

[@wellwhoknows9567]

yesss!

[@emmarichardson965]

I recently realized what it is that makes me hate love triangles so much: the lack of tension. And what I mean about that is the lack of tension between the heroine and each of the two love interests. If there is no real reason why the heroine wouldn't choose guy A that has nothing to do with guy B, I quickly find myself wishing that one of the guys would disappear or die, because clearly then the heroine would just go with whichever guy is left. (I say heroine because I have yet to see a male protagonist in a situation like I've described.)

[@DeeSnow97]

not a book, but the Witcher 3 game has a pretty nice love triangle with a male protagonist and since it's a game you actually get to make the choice

[@madixoxo246d6]

Love triangles are hard to write in general, because if it's not obvious which one she's gonna choose and both of the guys would be perfect for her then in the end, half of the fandom is gonna be dissatisfied with the ending ship. Oh, and if it is obvious which one she's gonna choose, then you find the fandom tellin' the other guy to "leave the ship alone." Tricky subject 😅

[@maltekronschewski8097]

@@DeeSnow97 let's stay with the witcher but go into the sword of destiny where sapkowski works with a love triangle between Yennefer, Geralt and Istredd. That is an example of a well done love triangle in my opinion.

[@darkdream1469]

@シャドウ depends on the genre.

[@fkdjdjcmckdjdjf3728]

doesn't twilight do that? i'm not quite sure i understand your comment correctly so excuse me if i'm wrong in understanding, but i think twilight does what you want- edward and jacob are enemies, so if she gets with edward, she'll lose jacob as a friend and vice versa (if i remember right)

[@avekatumba4794]

*Merphy wants to throw hands!* Prepare to catch them! Y'all got her messed up! She loves her man! Should we stan? Yes.

[@meCharlie_Fox]

Dear readers, this playlist is actually helping me with writing - thank you! *bows*

[@ActiveAdvocate1]

It's actually to the point in our society that my best friend and I want to move in together soon, and we're both female and straight, but we still feel the need to say to one another, "Yeah, people are probably going to talk about us being lesbians." I'm not saying that lesbian relationships are wrong, duh, but if people automatically make that assumption about what's just a really strong friendship, it's kind of missing the point, don't you think?

[@PhilipAMoore]

the funny thing is the way society is they really don't assume room mates are gay . if there are boys going in and out and there are no rainbow bumper stick most just assume difficulty paying the rent ,

[@thebooknerd7914]

Girl you need to read Percy Jackson. The relationship s are soooo great and are just your type. Percebeth- you would love it. Although they don't get together till like....the fifth book. But there relationship in heroes of olympus is AMAZING

[@gaelled.8400]

About the fact that friendships should be able to exist without becoming romances... How you're right. Like, while reading the Gentlemen Bastards I was like "I just know people are shipping Jean and Locke together". Boy, was I right. xD

[@shutupgus8962]

Tbh Locke+Jean is way better than Locke+Sabetha

[@amandajones1245]

If you want a good bro friendship, read The Riyria Revelations! A really good series with that bro, I would die for you type of friendship

[@leasong1544]

Cheating treated as a good thing is the easiest way for me to put down a romance. Because guess what? If you cheated once and didn't learn your lesson, you'll probably do it again. And there is no way the author can convince me that this couple is Meant To Be if I expect one of them to cheat on the other down the line. Also, hard agree about seeing more romances with healthy relationships, where the drama is external. There's nothing more romantic than someone sticking with you when times are tough, with them being your rock when life is tearing you apart. Toxic relationships =/= romance. I admit, though, that I'm a sucker for all the main characters getting paired up. Example: I *loved* all the happy endings in the Lunar Chronicles. I know it's not realistic, but man is it satisfying to me.

[@alandunaway3000]

There was a story I heard where a guy was cheated on by a girl, and the girl ended up having a hard fear of red(specially red paint).

[@ihavelemonade5640]

Shipping real people is weird. I'd be very uncomfortable. You know when you're with your friend and your mom thinks you like them and thd whole time she's just like all winky faces and stuff? Yeah. That.

[@walterblome6426]

I truly love it when both character have friends of the opposite gender, but their partner isn't jealous or threadant by it, cause they know better

[@2602Jorno]

Aw man, I was just gonna write a book called "I Got Cheated On, Aw Shucks".

[@AutumnRose1397]

The Red Queen series at the very end mentioned that two side characters had gotten together and I was like "what?" They literally had maybe two interactions and I didn't sense any chemistry.

[@theon.1549]

Amber Crombie Are you talking about Kilorn and Cameron

[@AutumnRose1397]

@@theon.1549 Yeah.

[@sadpowie]

Hey I haven't read Red Queen yet! At least put a spoiler alert or something (don't take this offensively btw)

[@AutumnRose1397]

@@sadpowie Sorry you got spoiled. I tried to avoid that on my post by not saying the characters' names. Also, did youtube automatically show the replies to my post? Because it doesn't for me; so maybe steer clear of looking at replies to a post so you don't get spoiled again. (I learned this the hard way; I got spoiled about a major plot twist for Red Queen through a reply.)

[@maitebenegas4704]

Nico and Will have so much potencial. I think the few escenes they have together were cute and i love their dynamic (Dorky happy character with a serious and depressed character) i just wish Rick would give it more develop

[@dailycarolina.]

1:48 I love how you edited that. It was like Pride and Prejudice saying 'don't forget about me Merphy , i'm here' !! 💕😂👌

[@greggeverman5578]

I think Misses Napier is here to show us all how a married life is just as sweet as a falling-in-love story. They both need work, people.

[@margohansonhighkingsupreme7279]

The setup works. The books don't swallow you and we get to focus on you

[@pellaw8011]

I almost never ship real people, but I always poke holes in the box when I do

[@asiangalaxygirl]

Personally, one of my, if not my favorite, fictional couple of all times is Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase (idk if this counts but spoilers for PJO and HoO I guess?), you literally cannot change my mind that they are perfect for each other. Their relationship was a slow burn that was totally worth it, we even see how much their relationship means in the sequel series. They went through freaking Tartarus together and were able to get out together. Gah, I can't even describe it but I love them, there's none of that cheating or miscommunication problems that occur (I don't care about the "love triangle" before they were dating). Literally, the conflicts that occur in their relationship is just because of other things like Hera tossing Percy across the US or them falling together. But their relationship becomes stronger because of it. They are the cutest and I love them and wish I could have a real life Percy welp

[@estellesmith4118]

Yes!

[@darthrevan5976]

agreed

[@becklebooks]

I love how your husband is your champion behind the scenes. My partner is the same with my channel. I really love when characters are like this in books but I don’t see it as often with romantic partners in books (cos, like you mentioned, they get together and the book ends). I love Becky Chambers for this reason. She writes such beautiful relationships in her Wayfarers books and they’re my absolute favourites. ❤️❤️ A long term couple is featured in Record of a Spaceborn Few and the way they supported each other but were so in love too just made me full of fluffy happiness.

[@rivendellstarlight]

I got the feels when you were talking about how supportive Corey is :3

[@Charolette21]

Gomez and Morticia Addams, they are one of the greatest couples in fiction.

[@Key_and_Quill]

I know I'm late to the party but... there's a particular kind of love triangle that I've come across a few times, and they never turn out like I hope. The main character is in love (read: obsessed) with their main interest, but then there's this other person, often a really close friend, who is (sometimes secretly) in love with the main character. But the MC can't see past their obsession to realize that this other person has been unwaveringly loyal and loving and would be perfect for them if they'd just give them a chance. Now, I know chemistry is important, but as has been said, every relationship doesn't have to start with fireworks or be an angsty slow burn. Two examples: the Smallville TV series - Clark/Lana/Chloe, and the Tiger's Curse book series - Kelsey/Ren/Kishan. Clark and Lana had a toxic relationship and, of course, were never meant to be anyway, while Chloe loved him enough to come to peace with them being just friends. And Ren was dangerously possessive of Kelsey, while Kishan loved her enough to let her make her own decisions. On another note, I just beamed when you said, "After 6 years of marriage, everything is still awesome." I love that y'all are still in love, and you support each other, and you're each other's best friend. That's how it should be.

[@madixoxo246d6]

Kinda makes me think of Miraculous, except it's more annoying than disappointing, because the main love interest is also the "other one" who's been in love with her, but it's her alter ego who he's in love with. When u said "in love (read: obsessed)" my mind just went to Marinette/Ladybug obsessing over Adrien, and often overlooking or ignoring Cat Noir (who is also Adrien but nobody knows) because of it.

[@queenofalltheflowers2290]

Oh My Gooooddddd! YES! With tigers curse I haven’t seen anyone else online have the same opinion as me, Ren was a possessive asshole who did not respect Kelseys decisions, whilst kishan was caring, respectful, straightforward, didn't lie, fun, and allowed her to make decisions, he was so much better, but she was obviously obsessed with ren for no good reason, but tbh I was happy with the result because Kelsey was so annoying and indecisive, kishan deserves better than her love and even at the end she still doesn’t decide, kishan decides for her, as he can plainly see that she wants ren, and kishan ends up with a goddess which he deserves, I think Kelsey and ren deserve each other

[@a-disaster5285]

You all should try Detective Conan, the MC is low key possessive of the female lead (who was established in the first place because otherwise she wouldn’t have fit with the crime) and vice versa. The slightest hint of an affair (even though it took them 1000+ chapters to “confess”) results in unhealthy jealousy. Wish these Female Fatale characters get to confess at least, or get to try to get them to give it a shot, just so it would seem less painful than unrequited love. Then again, the reason why they’re so loved is because they’re willing to let go of their loved ones, instead of holding on and trying to glue them back together. That’s a mature mindset we all should try to follow

[@eleonorae981]

Best romance: his dark materials, never read any so natural

[@ihavenoname8628]

**SPOILERS FOR ERAGON** “Let me string a potential romance along for 4 books, just to pull the rug out from under said romance on the literal last page” #ChristopherPaolini

[@daetshadowbright3262]

I REALLY, really loved the series when I was younger and this royally pissed me off at the end. Not only did the trilogy become a quad but the climax was... OOF. And the ONE THING I WANTED TO SEE FROM THE END was beaten to dust with an effing wreckingball. I care less about all of the loose ends than the contrived and COMPLETELY OUT OF LEFT FIELD reasoning behind the relationship suddenly being impossible *after having finally become possible*!!!

[@ihavenoname8628]

Daet Shadowbright I remember reading that they gave each other there true names, and earlier in the series that was stated to be one of the most intimate things a person could do with another (not only that but then HOLDING HANDS AFTERWARDS!!). It was very obvious that they pretty much loved each other, and I understand that they both had their separate obligations, but even Arya stated that elves didn’t believe in marriage, so they could have at least kissed or tried long distance keeping in touch. I hope it’s not a common fantasy trope to string out a romance past it’s original cycle length just so the author has bait to pull you into their sequel series.

[@jericcacrow1485]

YESSSS. 100% YES.

[@jeremygardner1225]

This pissed me off so badddddddd

[@barbershopbible]

I actually cried about this scene when I finished it so long ago. Reading it the first time I missed the weight of giving each other their true names, and thought Eragon went in for a kiss and Arya got swept away on Firnan. I thought she was a total jerk. Until I reread it. That ending still makes me sad, but I felt like the author is literally telling us all along that it can't happen, but still gets us as close as possible. That's good writing. To not pander to what the audience wants at the cost of in-world logic.

[@cakt1991]

About the day to day stuff: that’s why I love most romance series. One couple gets their happy ending, then the next one is featured in book two, but there’s usually an overarching connection between the characters, like the Bridgertons for example: they’re siblings, so while it’s not in every book, there are these little moments of seeing the whole family interact and even seeing the couples “after,” like in the 2nd epilogues.

[@parisatyawali2704]

I really like the way you can imagine particular events in your life as books. I think it's really really cool.

[@eleanorjones26407]

agreed

[@Forty2Times]

The platonic v romantic makes me think of The 100 with Bellamy and Clarke. Book Bellamy and Clarke had a really lovely romance. Tv show Clarke and Bellamy have a really great platonic ride or die friendship. Both felt like the same magnitude of love but in a different way. I loved it so much more than I thought I would, and it opened me up to a new perspective while reading and writing.

[@squidneythesquid2487]

I love friendship or family like relationships in books, I’ve cried more over deaths over a friend or family figure far more than a purely romantic relationship death(unless they started as good friends and their love was just beginning to blossom) . Hell I even cry with little happy moments when they make up(even if it’s a small lil fight) or see each other after being separated or worried.

[@GothicStraw39]

As a beginning author, these videos are extremely useful and enlightening! Thanks so much for the info!

[@midknight9188]

The No 1 thing I love in any romance is banter! It's adorable😍 Also with agree with the drama stuff it ain't needed!😂 Loving the new setup as well!

[@madixoxo246d6]

The banter in Edenbrooke is amazing! I love that romance book so much! It's also pretty clean which is nice. And the drama isn't like too annoying either, in fact, a lot of the drama is actually caused by others around them instead of by them. It's a great read, you should check it out! :)

[@monet3512]

Best quote on cheating: “Why do you have to do it out of order?” Also love the enthusiasm in this video! I usually like romances but DNF’ed a book recently when I realized it was going to be nothing BUT a romance. I just couldn’t handle another one. I definitely need something else to be going on beyond “will they or won’t they kiss?” (And we all know they definitely will)

[@gaelled.8400]

Also : in friendships and in romantic relationships, I just love Harlan Coben's interactions ( he is a pretty famous author in Thrillers ). His characters are always very... genuine ? Their interactions just come off as cute and sincere and just... Yeah, he writes thrillers but his characters are really what sell it for me I recommand !

[@innerbug3695]

There are so many people who like so many different styles of writing that it doesn’t mean if you’ve written something you need to destroy it because someone said they didn’t like it. If you would read what you’ve written... it’s good

[@oliviaschmucker5550]

Seriously, the part where you talked about your relationship and how beautiful the day to day romance is and how you don't need fireworks....I think I'm gonna cry. It was so sweet and real. Anyway, I just found this channel and I already love it.

[@NadaAlawadhi]

I wanna write a book (not anywhere near that yet) where the main character is experiencing life and things are going on at the same time as she experiences romances and then in the end she decides to be alone. I wanna highlight toxic behavior in relationships especially the covert subtle toxicity that is romanticized and how it is best to walk away from it.

[@arushi8098]

You and your husband's relationship is what restores my belief in love....after being exposed to so many stories of people using each other and are generally toxic to each other, it's difficult for the youth to believe in love. Like my elder cousins would fantasise about meeting someone but I've never because I am so scared of being together with someone who turns out to be toxic or who would cheat on me. And it's the same for a lot of my friends too. Books, movies and shows have created a (Idk how to explain it) mindset about the ideal relationship and I think in life their is no "ideal" relationship. A relationship is successful when both the people love each other enough to understand that they won't always have an "ideal" time together but the good times are worth the bad times. Love you and I love your videos ❤️🥰

[@therealmaizing5328]

I write stories for my personal enjoyment. In one, I have the following scene: Set up: He's a womanizer, addicted to sex. She knows exactly what kind of man he is. He's been faithful to her since they were married, but still, she *knows* him. She knows what he is. He's about to go away for an unknown period of time, leaving her behind. As they say their goodbyes, she says: "If you need... you know. I'll understand." He takes her face in his hands and kisses the tip of her nose. "I need *you."* Later, while he's away from her, he's having trouble sleeping. He's addicted to sex and finds it hard to go without. He mentions to a friend (who had been present during their goodbyes) that he misses his wife. The friend asks, "Is it your wife you miss, or sex?" He replies, "Yes." The friend then says, "Wait. Didn't your wife say she'd understand?" "All the more reason to be faithful to her." This is the kind of thing that *I* find romantic.

[@maxd.1730]

The Real Maizing that’s beautiful

[@anaellebreteche5415]

Love it ! Why not show the world what you write ? I'm sure people would love to read it !

[@Dany_C.]

Where the rest sis-

[@nijinoshita3301]

I tent to avoide stories with already established relationships because there is nothing I hate more than the misscommunication thing and cheating and whatever and it is way to common, I guess I don't trust authors in that regard...

[@ELizbeth135]

I think a great example of the characters getting together on the last page and saying “I love you” is in Ready Player One. It just drives home so many beautiful things that the characters had to learn throughout the book: patience, what real love looks like, infatuation vs. reality, to love someone as they truly are... and many more things that don’t even have to do with romance. Just such a beautiful and tender moment!

[@thebrittschmitt]

That friendship rant was fantastic. Thank you. And I’m glad you brought your personal experience into it! It just made your point stronger.

[@thebrittschmitt]

Also I’m so glad you didn’t cut that lovely bit about your marriage and how you support each other.

[@hannah7000]

To the point with drama and toxicity in romance: Its one of the reasons why I like couples in not-romance books better than in romance books. In the non-romantic books the relationships are simple and pure and I feel like actually more loving. I also hate most love triangles

[@morgangarner4027]

I'm so in love with this video! I love everything you said about you and your husband. That's how I feel with my fiance!! were not very romantic but he is literally my best friend and we love helping each other and just doing LIFE together

[@rainbow_duck1481]

Yeah, I was friends with this guy in highschool, and our friendship ended up getting ruined because everyone shipped us together, and we couldnt be around each other without getting teased or having people ask when we're gonna get together. It was really uncomfortable. Dont ship real people!

[@PetalsAndPlague]

As an aspiring writer who has healthy romantic relationships in my stories, I dread people shipping them in toxic couples.

[@4BWVan]

Hello please point me in the direction of anything you've written, as I am desperately searching for books with healthy relationships in them.

[@PetalsAndPlague]

@@4BWVan haven't finished them or published but I'll be sure to send you a link. I feel the relationships are healthy. They're loving and supportive and the right amount of protective. Most of the books are high fantasy or historical with a dash of the supernatural. I think of them as fantasy romance with a lot of plot.

[@madixoxo246d6]

@@PetalsAndPlague That's the same genre/style that I'm trying to write! Any tips? :)

[@breadordecide]

Worry about your books being good and readable first. What fans do is out of your hands.

[@ericadelatorre6085]

I want a book where the couple is already married or together for a decent amount of time but we see the breaking point of the relationship and how they either go through the process of separating or building their relationship back up and fixing the damage. Open to recommendations.

[@scion166]

When you shared how your husband supports your passion and how your unique skills complement each other 🙏🙌

[@carolinesaxon4512]

Thank you so much for not removing the part where you talked about everything your husband does to support and encourage your passion. THAT is real romance. That is LOVE. And it's heartwarming to hear. I don't think people share the kind and sweet and wonderful things their companions do out of love enough. This, coupled with the twisted view of "romance" that's thrown at us by the media, further leaves people looking for love and companionship without a realistic baseline to turn to. I think it's great to share everyday examples of love and romance. To give people a real view of what romantic love really looks like. So, thank you for sharing. It was super sweet.

[@fusetuber9291]

Ok, as an author, this video (as well as your other dear author videos I've seen so far) helped me to see some flaws in my own writing. It's nice to get feedback from readers other than myself. We all have different opinions and it's nice to open my mind to others' ideas. Thank you, please keep making these videos! :)

[@lisajarmina3991]

As a writer I feel that your dear author series is really helping me to improve my plot/character development and give me some fresh ideas for new stories.Thank you for doing this inspiring work, Merphy!

[@ghadahaddad9049]

i was so excited to see this finally up i was just scrolling through your channel

[@gaybowser4648]

To quote the poem Medusa; ‘It’s you I love, perfect man, Greek God my own; but I know you’ll go, betray me, stray from home.’ Authors, don’t have the love interest act like a horrible person!

[@fatimasajid9224]

6:45 Throne of Glass books are a great example for this..

[@joshkresnik6402]

I agree with your comment about coupling up of the KZbinrs, especially because you have a husband who’s on your channel on occasion. There’s a lot of stuff that’s acceptable for people to say or ask on KZbin, but coupling you up with other people is out of bounds and unacceptable and tasteless. They need to recognize boundaries and watch what they say because that’s just not ok at all.