Midnight Confessions With The Cookie Monster

Me not take internet safety serious enough, because me always allow cookies.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@kjamison5951]

“Me fur not really this blue. Me use ‘Just for Monsters’.” LOL

[@retnavybrat]

Well, he is almost 50 years old. Some gray fur is inevitable. 😀

[@fredgerd5811]

I believe that was "Just Fur Monsters"

[@adelepattonxxx]

😆 great line!

[@rewer]

Cookie monster jokes about internet cookies ... Lol

[@GraeHall]

There's not as many perfect jokes as we need in this life. That is perfect joke.

[@Carewolf]

The software parts of Chrome that controls cookies, is called CookieMonster.

[@sebastianedwards8666]

@@Carewolf It's better than that; internet cookies are named after a prank at (IIRC) MIT where one of the first ever computer worms infected all the terminals and popped up a little ascii version of our blue friend here who refused to let the user get any work done until they typed in the word 'cookie' for him. Internet cookies are named after the Cookie Monster, so this joke is like pop eating itself. I love it.

[@kamrongrant]

Cookie Monster: Forgive me audience, none of the cookies me eat actually go in me mouth, but make a big cookie mess around me for the staff at CBS to clean up! :P

[@FilmmakeroftheFuture]

That reminds me of something that Stan Smith said on American Dad!

[@Tht1Gy]

AH Man!! I was gonna say that. Lol

[@gryphonshire]

GREAT Marketing tool to make Cookie Monster's book look like he already took a bite out of it! Bravo to whomever thought up that trick! :-)

[@falkormoonchild4822]

The same true genius creator of this & many shows & enterprises, who's being spied & unpaid since birth

[@shellove7912]

to whoever thought up that trick. Whoever is the subject of the phrase ... thought up....

[@privateprivate5302]

WANHK WAHNK😋😋

[@ArtyFartyBart]

I didn't know Cookie Monster was Catholic... Though it kind of figures, you get a wafer every time...

[@leoak]

Bart Geerts this deserves waaaaay more likes... Lol

[@falkormoonchild4822]

symbolizing the same.

[@soni8995]

Bart Geerts .....😂👏👏👏

[@milkysucks.5839]

Of course He is Catholic! He invites young men to eat cookies with him typically on Sunday mornings all under the guise of "teaching" them something. Except instead of sex, its diabetes.

[@petercolbeysgameshowmania7176]

I don’t get it.

[@5pctLowBattery]

My 6 year old: “that’s Cookie Monster, but who is that? John Oliver?” 😂

[@Whimsy3692]

John Oliver will have a field day with that one...

[@feralbluee]

~~~~ROTFL~~~~~ i mean i really am. that was wonderful :} 🤓

[@thiagodeandrade7081]

Well, Colbert was already making people laugh before your kid was born. 🙂

[@hopsiepike]

The outtakes from Cookie Monster and John Oliver are some of the funniest things ever.

[@novadselir1068]

“Me always allow cookies.”I couldn’t help myself I had to laugh.

[@BLAZINFAST]

Kinda disappointed Cookie Monster didn’t down a fistful of communion wafers.

[@3fishesinatank806]

I made that connection too. Maybe the weirdo @4:33-red shirt- is a priest and was offended. Lol! Fuck him if he is.

[@InfamousX1000]

3fishes inatank I mean that's kinda fucked, yknow people are allowed to be offended it's human nature, just not okay to be condescending dicks about it, kinda like you are being right now

[@daviddelaney2407]

... I am OFFENDED that you're offended over them being condescending dicks! --Dave, ... wait, I need to diagram this...

[@rebecca8525]

"But they aren't consecrated wafers!" Such a funny line from the movie Lady Bird.

[@christelleilmet3601]

@@3fishesinatank806 I mean communion is actually a holy ceremony it represents the Last Supper that Jesus had with His disciples, so yea Cookie Monster can’t down fistfuls of wafers that wouldn’t be appropriate or respectful

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

To be fair, it IS hard to get past 'C', though... Because "'C' is for cookie, that's good enough for me!"

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

Lisa Dixon The OTHER 'three 'C's...?😉😂

[@seventimestable]

Hahahah I love this! :D

[@LadyEvilest]

I could imagine Cookie going "Just one sleeve? You on diet?"

[@ElmerFuddGun]

*Me always allow COOKIES!* awesome!

[@ElmerFuddGun]

After Stephen's first couple lines I was like "this is disappointing... not your best Stephen"... then the Cookie Monster shows up!

[@snitcheyes411]

I love it when the muppets visit Stephen. Stephen's like a living muppet himself sometimes. Why isn't there a Stephen muppet anyway?

[@falkormoonchild4822]

He truly is a puppet of his master. Does he have to be green too?

[@ramayaruk]

I love how cookies pupils roll around like marbles whenever he moves lol

[@iChillypepper]

“Me still sketchy after letter C” 🤣

[@tetsujin_144]

Fifty years!

[@autumbreeze1129]

😂🤣

[@Pyxis10]

Still smarter than our president.

[@tmirred1945]

4:33 wow that guy looking right into the camera is kind of scary...

[@TheComfyGeek]

TMiR Red Dude does NOT forgive. He will be back.

[@DBMe33]

TMiR Red Yeah, I cant think of a non scary reason for this. 😮

[@3fishesinatank806]

I saw that too.. Dude looks like a Priest.

[@smiffwilm]

Maybe he just wanted a 🍪 too....

[@tmirred1945]

Do I now have to worry about my cookies?

[@lazyperfectionist1]

Cookie Monster work for CNN; that's "Cookie Nom Nom."

[@juliekristinehovet]

03:55 Cookie monster had the best one...

[@STSWB5SG1FAN]

Yeah, Cookie really should take his IT security more seriously.

[@rafman016]

More Cookie Monster and other Sesame Street characters confessing, please! 😂😂😂😂

[@insomnio4119]

That one guy in the audience at the end who's staring into my soul...

[@DBMe33]

(in)somnio I think hes there to hypnotize everyone watching.

[@MichaelC1245]

almost looks like an older steve carrel

[@RedDeadSakharine]

And the droop next to him, who doesn't seem to enjoy himself at all...

[@Ozz_Derovar]

HYPNO TOAD!

[@dexmadden]

3:20 @ half speed is a dark hell

[@TheReal008Zulu]

I too must confess. I like my desert before dinner. And during dinner. And after dinner.

[@elizabethsmith7224]

Same

[@jerryrichardson2799]

Don't we all...

[@raymonddagostino6118]

I dig that the audience cheers for Cookie Monster's appearance and his eating of cookies!

[@michiganspencer6920]

All of these ACTOR/ACTRESSES appearing with Cookie Monster PROVES he's the most POPULAR muppet from Sesame Street (with possible exception of Kermit)!!!

[@EdibleClown]

The internet security joke is gold

[@rysun8709]

Cookie monster takes a bite out of his book. Internet cookies are so tasty.

[@aaronsmith2610]

The guy at 4:32 is not having any of the Cookie Monster's shit today.

[@quester09]

would his Brit counterpart be a Biscuit Monster?

[@falkormoonchild4822]

Yes. And the French one a Laduree monster.

[@FilmmakeroftheFuture]

That's his cousin in an episode of The Furchester Hotel. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iom8dqyuo8iAg9k

[@petercolbeysgameshowmania7176]

He actually has a British cousin named Biscuit Monster, seen on The Furchester Hotel!

[@petercolbeysgameshowmania7176]

@@falkormoonchild4822 More like a Macaron Monster.

[@vaw796]

Cookie Monster's eyes move about so much no wonder he has to eat such big cookies to see them 👀 . Fur looks good in your dyed shade of blue, CM 😆.

[@aleckelsey2663]

I should confess that seeing cookie monster was the highlight of my week. Idunno why, just was :)

[@BrettHardman]

Pants jokes especially funny in the U.K. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jeovanneramos5066]

I know it sounds crazy but Cookie 🍪 Monster should do Stand up he is so hilarious, between this and the John Oliver skit was great too

[@TheComfyGeek]

Damn. Cookie Monster's cookies always looks the best. Nom

[@slurricrasher9923]

No out-takes with the cookie monster like on John Olivers show??? Shaaaame!

[@Ubermensch9240]

I can't. It's Cookie Monster. I have to hit like. He's one of the most wholesome things on earth!

[@annedwyer797]

I love that both kids and adults love Cookie. To me, that's a mark of true character greatness!

[@rlburton]

Point of fact our Catholic church does sometimes have an omelette bar.

[@jayacorn4719]

I always love when Stephen slams the door open and stares intently at the audience.

[@fuzzyscarfandmittens4772]

And here I was hoping he'd reference the old sketch where the little girl and Kermit are reciting the alphabet. You know the one, "A B C D E F Cookie Monster!...".

[@sarahjones9393]

Cookie monster jokes are a favorite of mine lol

[@AshwinKrishnaraj]

One of the biggest crossover events of all time.

[@rebecca8525]

Cookie Monster also made an appearance on The Colbert Report and was even there for the all-star sing-along on the last episode.

[@NewMessage]

... On nights when Stephen doesn't manage to slip a drink into his confessions... I have one for him. And on every other night, too.

[@shofisstar]

I thought the Cookie Monster book was a joke but it’s actually a thing!!

[@JustJanitor]

4:32 I see youuu

[@Rock12402]

He does it at 0:23 as well. Really creepy

[@byteme643]

MY CHILDHOOD ROLE MODEL!!!

[@Tustin2121]

This was probably the only way they could feasibly hide both of Cookie Monster's puppeteers, hiding behind Stephen's confessional wall set. It'd be rather awkward to fit them both behind his desk or couch and still be able to operate the lovable blue monster.

[@falkormoonchild4822]

It's more a metaphor of jailed & spied, understand...

[@colinvandenberg3446]

Coockie Monster, is, and has always been, the best written Muppet. The only ones close are Sam the Eagle and Grover.

[@grapebuy789]

I remember when Cookie Monster was on Colbert when he was on Comedy Central. It's nice how they both reunited.

[@kght222]

cookie monster should confess to his waste of his precious cookies. i mean really, what cookie junkie would waste even one chocolate chip! come on!

[@jerramaurice7836]

Cookie is so silly 😂😂😂😂

[@gabriellefagan1014]

C is for catholic, that's good enough for me

[@marcalcober3672]

Shouldve given him communion wafers and told him they were cookies

[@darkhoshinonz]

Ah.... Cookie Monster. We'll never get too old for you.

[@mandysimmons2769]

I cannot find it but on the Jon Stewart Daily show back in the day, Stephen did a bit where he was interview Kids about swapping out cookies for broccoli or something which was being promoted by health advocacy making cookies a "once in a while food." A little boy was by then chomping down on a black and white cookie ( If I recall correctly ) he was really holding on to it with both hands LOL and he said it was "too yate" to swap it out for broccoli ( as if he would anyway ) and Stephen looked at the camera to say something like "make your kids eat their vegetables. Before it's too Yate!" That was so sweet and funny as heck.

[@gundamheavyarms4879]

Cookie Monster eat Stephen Colbert's oatmeal cookies...

[@3fishesinatank806]

Look at the dude in the burgundy shirt, in the audience @4:33.... after Stephen asks for forgiveness. Looks like a priest.

[@StellaMariaGiulia]

There's an Hufflepuff in the studio??

[@m.s9956]

stella ockham yep

[@joshuamoody2941]

So grammatically correct. Shaking my head

[@StellaMariaGiulia]

Joshua Moody a Hufflepuff? Sorry, English is my 2nd language and I’m mostly self taught...

[@kendrit]

Guessing the guy with the pattern scarf, hufflepuff - harry potter jargon

[@joshuamoody2941]

stella ockham haha you didnt spell any thing wrong, you were just too correct. The difference between "an hufflepuff" and "a hufflepuff". Just ignore my comment hahaha

[@diegosilerio4554]

Cookie Monster is so cute 😄

[@retnavybrat]

It's understandable that Cookie Monster would use Just for Monsters. He's nearly 50 years old, for pity's sake. 😀

[@jefroukos]

That internet safety joke was so obvious but CM makes it work.

[@napoleonibonaparte7198]

The guy in the audience is staring to find my sins

[@googamp32]

I'm a simple man. I see Stephen Colbert and Cookie Monster in the same KZbin thumbnail, I click.

[@jessicarechani875]

Cookie, don’t ever change 😂

[@Elastas]

Best confession

[@brain_apostrophe_t]

I miss this segment!!

[@bushbasher85]

It's not "The" Cookie Monster, it's just Cookie Monster.

[@falkormoonchild4822]

Don't overrate headlines. In this case, it's the original spied cookie monster voice from Germany, since it's creation 1976. 'Sad but true'. Don't tread on me...

[@queenclaudiaii2938]

"☣." ~ St. Claudia

[@041418062]

anyone else creeped out of the guy looking at us @ 4:33 in the burgundy sweater? i mean everyone looking forward besides this dude?

[@naonna1]

Can we get a 'forgive me' for cookie monster when he had teeth?

[@jondunmore4268]

Cookie Monster is guilty of the Cardinal Sin of Gluttony.

[@audreejamie6751]

I LOVE this segment!!!

[@SomniRosae]

Absolutely priceless! ❤️

[@jmrggrmj9330]

After the Oreo confession I thought he Cookie Monster was going to say something like... yeeeah solo..., is amateur or anything actually.

[@TheKaiTetley]

I confess: I am not sitting in a jacuzzi, I have really bad flatulence. I lied about carob tasting like chocolate, it tastes like nothing. I am Donald Trumps illegitimate love child.

[@IronClawGaming]

Will cookie admit he sits in public rest rooms trying to cook cookie dough on a spoon next time he visits? 🤔😂

[@globalwarmhugs7741]

My heart exploded.

[@TheNinnyfee]

What a great thing to be the human playing Cookie Monster eating cookies.

[@kellys5949]

Get Cookie a late night show!

[@tictacmothma]

4:33 That one guy in the middle didn't participate either time. Just stared at the camera.

[@richardcochrane1966]

Cookie Monster for President 2020!!!!!!!!!!

[@coraggio93]

That organ music is not like anything I've heard at Mass. LOL!

[@nikolaspatentalakis7328]

Saw the video, bought the book. 🍪 is life, 🍪 is love

[@donaldtramp3861]

Poor cookies monster not over his addiction 🙁

[@LucianCorrvinus]

Forgive me Nielsen, for I have syndicated....

[@rebeccalarson4697]

joy of cookies [best book ever].

[@PREPFORIT]

The Title of this Video was a SPOILER

[@lazyperfectionist1]

The _thumbnail_ of this video was a spoiler.

[@Cyrribrae]

Uhh.. All of it was a spoiler. The title, the thumbnail, AND the description. but still good.

[@thribs]

How else would you watch it? These confession segments are boring

[@PREPFORIT]

GO F yourself

[@vassa1972]

Funny stuff love cookie monster

[@Sindollx666x]

Cookie monster (aka Sid or is it spelled Cid?) Is seriously adorably clever with his internet safety joke.

[@abbynormal7525]

🤣🍪❤️❤️❤️

[@1andonlyzara]

Subtle sales plug, Stephen. Real subtle. lol

[@puppet619sd]

1:09 Hey Vsauce Stephen here... Lol

[@danbee6103]

Is that a bite taken out of the book?☺️

[@TheInkPitOx]

I allow cookies because I have adblock. Cookie Monster sucks now that he is on a diet. My favorite cookie is oatmeal raisin

[@ursaltydog]

Me enjoyed this "light" segment.. :)

[@raynier0017]

Best clip of the day, I love Cookie Monster!!!

[@slashingkatie7872]

I love Cookie Monster!

[@RIXRADvidz]

oh so subtle, Monsters in the Confessional. listening to Your Words.

[@ZachDrake5960]

3:19 - Kinda like a pirate!!!!

[@binklebabe4725]

Yes, you shouldn't have! 😂😂😂

[@tvremote9394]

I'd pay to see a Cookie monster vs rap monster showdown

[@Sam26LE]

The best part COOKIE MONSTER !!!!!

[@trevorpollo]

Cookie Monster is the best Sesame Street character.

[@GerzonChon]

Finally a confession season that does not include liquor...