Les Misérables: 11- Master Of The House

[@Indego84]

Its interesting that highest point in the play is a song about an unhappy marriage and ripping people off in absurd ways. :D

[@lindatolle126]

hence, les miserables.

[@elizabethgoodman9290]

Highest point????

[@Indego84]

@@elizabethgoodman9290 In my opinion.

[@miyuqiii]

@@elizabethgoodman9290happiest

[@brenwenmin]

​@@miyuqiiiwhat key signature is this piece in and what musical instruments are there in this song

[@JaneDoe-kn5sd]

I love this version, it's so sleazy sounding.

[@narutardourannote]

I feel that it exemplifies the characters so well. They're supposed to be this sketchy and gross xD

[@trinitymplayers]

Wish the movie version was as good. I thought it was such a letdown.

[@flipflopzthreeonethree1873]

That's exactly the word I would use! I love a sleazy clarinet backing (on further reflection, I think it's actually soprano sax)

[@Koogz406]

This is the only way Las miserables should sound....perfect match

[@luongvunam3528]

@@trinitymplayers i think Tom Hooper wants to make them less funnier ,which is fine because they aren't funny but EVIL in the novel

[@xxBLacKroSeSxx16]

the Thénardiers are the comedic relief that this play needed or it would just be one big cry fest since this musical is so moving

[@Exayevie]

It's pretty bad when the most depressing and hopeless lives in the story are also its comic relief, oof!

[@the_autistic_advocate]

Another comic relief, at least for me, is when Marius is in a trance during “Red and Black”

[@undisclosednamebecauseofin9068]

The Writer’s Block also when the wine guy is dancing around him

[@randomdragonbooks]

I agree completely, but later they are way worse. Dog eats dog just disgusts me. Who would do that

[@brenwenmin]

​@@randomdragonbooksare you a musician

[@meganvanbendegon8429]

this role is probably really fun to act.

[@firebow2810]

From someone who has had that role, it was fun

[@klausoshaunacey8429]

It really is. Especially if you have a flamboyant personality like I do already, it’s super fun. My personal favorite is Dog Eat Dog even though no one remembers it.

[@jessgrimesx819]

I played the wife a few years ago also extremely fun also this year I play young cosette so I sing castle on a cloud x

[@tiadeacon6146]

It is I did it at college x

[@trinitymplayers]

@@klausoshaunacey8429 That song is usually cut in concert versions.

[@2sp00kyy1]

"Yay, we're being robbed!"

[@doodler6981]

+Spooky Sans RIGHT!? XD

[@2sp00kyy1]

+XxdoodlerxX AJ Literally the song tho lol

[@doodler6981]

Spooky Sans True!!

[@TheCompleteMuppet]

Am I the only one who thinks there were loads of happy moments? The whole love story? Even Valjean's death was happy. He was content with his life to die at that point. The whole thing showed that people could live through terrible things. At least, that's what it said to me.

[@moist_mason]

“People could live through terrible things” Literally everyone died though. Like only 2 people survived.

[@myleemontag1690]

VALJEAN DIES?!?!?! A SPOILER ALERT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE

[@Will-vo5do]

@@myleemontag1690 the book has been out since 1845. Besides, it's still an enjoyable read/watch even if you know what is coming.

[@elicia901]

@@myleemontag1690 dude, its the comments of the literal musical. What were you expecting? not to mention, the books been out for more than 100 years

[@bomba4502]

@@myleemontag1690 if you are going to watch the actual play it’s good that you know that because it’s hard to keep up with what’s going on

[@CrazyOtaku5]

Lol "thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there " xD xD xD

[@frankieobrien5742]

omg I cant 😂😂😂😂😂

[@bonitrichampscottydoesntkn1121]

It's funny, because they're celebrating being robbed by Thenardier.

[@HuragokSlayer]

+Boni TRICHAMP SCOTTY DOESNT KNOW None of them know he's doing it

[@bonineto9638]

+HuragokSlayer hence the "funny" bit

[@cheltaps3545]

You mean the Rothschild's and their army of stooges yeah?

[@pickle8001]

They were drunk

[@legendarytat8278]

@@pickle8001 They're just stupid (jk)

[@memedealer8370]

If you listen closely you can hear a guy say " What are they talking about?"

[@gloriaholly2927]

Joshua Reisinger when?

[@mongee6226]

3:43-46

[@kellyhandler8316]

I can’t unhear that 😂

[@isabelerhart9523]

Lol i heard it 😂😂😂😂😂

[@codhappyface]

This song just puts a big smile on my face

[@huaiscrblol5077]

This... does a smile on my face

[@johnnymcjohnnysteinstein4375]

i love when mrs. thenardier is singing, like, it sounds much more like what i imagine she would sound like, evil and nasty, not fancy and scheming...

[@avidarois5505]

"EVERYBODY RAISE A GLASS-" [Hamilton fans screeching in the background]

[@fuckthisshitimout6892]

squeals 😍😍😍 YASSSSSSS

[@Polopony20.]

XD yah.. I`m not ashamed of it either

[@lily-2497]

Avid Arois that is everything 🤤🤤

[@jiangzheng4109]

fair

[@dankhnw8]

HAHAHAHAHA LIKE

[@cecegonzalez3799]

"Here we strive to lighten your purse" Yeah because "Everything has got a little priiiice"

[@LauraLanyi]

My French teacher has seen this musical 3 times live and the movie every year with his grade 10 class (me last year) and he always complains that we always clap along "they're the bad people why are we singing along?! Non non! Agh! !EVERYTIME I SEE IT LIVE IT'S THE SAME! NOT YOU TOO!!" He's my favorite teacher. He's teaching me again for the last time this year! (He's retiring this year!) I'll miss him more than any other teacher ever!

[@maddieadaddy]

[THENARDIER (greeting a new customer)] Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down And meet the best innkeeper in town As for the rest, all of 'em crooks Rooking their guests and cooking the books Seldom do you see Honest men like me A gent of good intent Who's content to be Master of the house, doling out the charm Ready with a handshake and an open palm Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir Customers appreciate a bon-viveur Glad to do a friend a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice But nothing gets you nothing, everything has got a little price! Master of the house, keeper of the zoo Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two Watering the wine, making up the weight Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight Everybody loves a landlord Everybody's bosom friend I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end! [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Master of the house, quick to catch your eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor, butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Everybody's chaperone [THENARDIER] But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! [Thenardier greets another customer and takes his bag.] Enter Monsieur, lay down your load Unlace your boots, rest from the road This weighs a ton, travel's a curse But here we strive to lighten your purse Here the goose is cooked Here the fat is fried And nothing's overlooked Till I'm satisfied Food beyond compare, food beyond belief Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat Filling up the sausages with this and that Residents are more than welcome, bridal suite is occupied Reasonable charges plus some little extras on the side Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice Two percent for looking in the mirror twice Here a little slice, there a little cut Three percent for sleeping with the window shut When it comes to fixing prices There are a lot of tricks he knows How it all increases All those bits and pieces Jesus, It's amazing how it grows [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Master of the house, quick to catch your eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate Everybody's boon companion Gives 'em everything he's got [THENARDIER] Dirty bunch of geezers Jesus, what a sorry little lot [MADAME THENARDIER] I used to dream that I would meet a prince But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since? Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit! 'Comforter, philosopher,' and lifelong shit Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature Landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted Living with this bastard in the house [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Master of the house [MADAME THENARDIER] Master and a half [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Comforter, philosopher [MADAME THENARDIER] Don't make me laugh [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Servant to the poor, butler to the great [MADAME THENARDIER] Hypocrite and toady and inebriate [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Everybody bless the landlord Everybody bless his spouse [THENARDIER] Everybody raise a glass [MADAME THENARDIER] Raise it up the master's ass [ALL] Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house

[@BillyCobbOfficial]

This is the best version imo

[@jacobwalters6687]

Personally I like the London version better

[@k1productions87]

This has always been my favorite Thenardiers, with that grit in his voice. Jovial, yet still stern and evil when he wants to be. The guy they replace him with just seems too silly... and don't get me started on Borat in the movie. ... would have been funny if it wasn't so sad.

[@moist_mason]

Borat sounded so disinterested in the movie it made me fucking angry.

[@ithinkimwrongbut8032]

One of my favorite songs from this musical

[@TopHatGacha]

good taste

[@JKDissection]

I remember the director at my community theatre giving me and the backup for this song a long, LONG rant before going on about how deathly important it was for us to be totally perfect because without the relief song, the audience would be so horrifically depressed. Honestly, this song is so much fun, even a half-well performance is funny as hell

[@eleanorhogan3669]

The bit that always made my Grandma, my Mother and me wince was the bit of what he was putting in the sausages and the mice and lice, and I always thought "poor horse, poor cat and poor people that were eating it unwary"

[@thenarwhalsawaken]

Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef- favorite line, just so blase about scamming people and possible food poisoning

[@Jennithebaker]

I love the original cast! This was the first b'way show I saw when I was about 8 and we played the recording endlessly on cassette. Thumbs up if you remember cassette tapes? Or records, for that matter!

[@rebekahdykema9322]

No one: This: jazzy violin

[@bonitrichampscottydoesntkn1121]

People seem to like this song the most because it's the only happy song in the entire musical.

[@elizabethgoodman9290]

Ummm... lovely ladies!!!

[@TopHatGacha]

@@elizabethgoodman9290 oh my that song is certainly not a happy one... the song sounds happy at FIRST but goodness it is a really sad one

[@celsocosta3047]

Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down And meet the best innkeeper in town As for the rest, all of 'em crooks: Rooking their guests and cooking the books Seldom do you see Honest men like me A gent of good intent Who's content to be Master of the house, doling out the charm Ready with a handshake and an open palm Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir Customers appreciate a bon-viveur Glad to do a friend a favor Doesn't cost me to be nice But nothing gets you nothing Everything has got a little price! Master of the house, keeper of the zoo Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two Watering the wine, making up the weight Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight Everybody loves a landlord Everybody's bosom friend I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end! Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor, butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Everybody's chaperone But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat Filling up the sausages with this and that Residents are more than welcome Bridal suite is occupied Reasonable charges Plus some little extras on the side! (Oh Santa!) Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice Two percent for looking in the mirror twice Here a little slice, there a little cut Three percent for sleeping with the window shut When it comes to fixing prices There are a lot of tricks I knows How it all increases, all them bits and pieces Jesus! It's amazing how it grows! (Oh, sorry love Let's get something done about that) I used to dream that I would meet a prince But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since? Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house! Master of the house! Master and a half! Comforter, philosopher Don't make me laugh! Servant to the poor, butler to the great Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody bless his spouse! Everybody raise a glass Raise it up the master's arse Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House! Meu bando de embriagados, meu covil de dissolutos Minhas piadas sujas, meus bêbados tão estúpidos Meus filhos de prostitutas que passam a vida em minha pousada Pombos-correios guiados para casa Eles voam através das minhas portas E eles rastejam nos quatro membros Bem-vindo, Senhor, sente-se E satisfaça o melhor hospedeiro da cidade Quanto ao resto, todos eles trapaceiros Roubando seus hóspedes e fraudando a contabilidade Raramente você vê Homens honestos como eu Um senhor de boas intenções Que se contenta em ser O dono da casa, distribuindo charme Pronto com um aperto de mão e a palma aberta Conta um conto picante, cria um pouco de agitação Os clientes apreciam um bon vivant Fico feliz em fazer um favor a um amigo Não me custa nada ser bom Mas nada que te faz é nada Tudo tem um pequeno preço! O dono da casa, o guardião do zoológico Pronto para aliviar deles um vintém ou dois Aguando o vinho, suprimindo o peso Pegando as suas bugigangas quando não estão olhando direito Todo mundo adora um senhorio Amigo do peito de todos Eu faço o que quer que agrade Jesus! Não vou sangrá-los, por fim! O dono da casa, ligeiro para chamar sua atenção Nunca quer que um transeunte passe por ele Servo para o pobre, mordomo para o rico Consolador, filósofo e companheiro para toda a vida! Companheiro de todos os benefícios Acompanhante de todos Mas tranquem suas valises Jesus! Não vou te esfolar até os ossos Comida além da comparação. Comida além da crença. Misture no triturador e finja que é carne O rim de um cavalo, o fígado de um gato Enchendo as salsichas com isso e aquilo Moradores são mais do que bem-vindos A suíte nupcial está ocupada Taxas razoáveis Além de alguns extras à margem (Oh, Papai Noel!) Um custo pelos piolhos, um extra pelos ratos Dois por cento para se olhar duas vezes no espelho Aqui uma pequena fatia, lá um pequeno corte Três por cento para dormir com a janela fechada Quando se trata de fixar preços Há um monte de truques que eu conheço Como tudo aumenta, todas as tralhas deles Jesus! É incrível como isto cresce! (Oh, desculpe amor Vamos fazer algo a respeito) Eu costumava sonhar que iria conhecer um príncipe. Mas Deus Todo Poderoso, viu o que aconteceu desde então? O dono da casa? Não vale meu cuspe! Consolador, filósofo e um merda para toda vida! Pequeno cérebro de astúcia, um Voltaire comum Pensa que é um grande amante, mas não tem muita coisa lá... Que cruel brincadeira da natureza me enterrar com este piolho Deus sabe como é duro viver com este bastardo dentro de casa! O dono da casa! Dono e meio! Consolador, filósofo Não me faça rir! Um servo para o pobres, um mordomo para os ricos Hipócrita e bajulador e embriagado Todos abençoam o senhorio! Todos abençoam sua esposa! Tudo mundo erga um copo Erga para a bunda do dono Todos ergam um copo do dono da casa

[@pigeonsyndrome2249]

Celso Costa Tu é brasileiro?

[@dancingpen3558]

Thank you for this, but are you aware that the lyrics here are from the movie?

[@wonder8701]

'

[@millicentgarciameiring9713]

Thenardier: Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down And meet the best innkeeper in town As for the rest, all of 'em crooks: Rooking their guests and crooking the books Seldom do you see Honest men like me A gent of good intent Who's content to be Master of the house, doling out the charm Ready with a handshake and an open palm Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir Customers appreciate a bon-viveur Glad to do a friend a favor Doesn't cost me to be nice But nothing gets you nothing Everything has got a little price! Master of the house, keeper of the zoo Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two Watering the wine, making up the weight Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight Everybody loves a landlord Everybody's bosom friend I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end! Thenardier & Drinkers: Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor, butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Everybody's chaperone Thenardier But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! Enter Monsieur, lay down your load Unlace your boots, rest from the road This weighs a ton, travel's a curse But here we strive to lighten your purse Here the goose is cooked Here the fat is fried And nothing's overlooked Till I'm satisfied Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat Filling up the sausages with this and that Residents are more than welcome Bridal suite is occupied Reasonable charges Plus some little extras on the side! Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice Two percent for looking in the mirror twice Here a little slice, there a little cut Three percent for sleeping with the window shut When it comes to fixing prices There are a lot of tricks he knows How it all increases, all them bits and pieces Jesus! It's amazing how it grows! Thenardier & Chorus: Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor, butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Gives 'em everything he's got Thenardier: Dirty bunch of geezers Jesus! What a sorry little lot! Mme. Thenardier: I used to dream that I would meet a prince But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since? Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit! `Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong sh*t! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house! Thenardier & Drinkers: Master of the house! Mme. Thenardier: Master and a half! Thenardier & Drinkers: Comforter, philosopher Mme. Thenardier: Ah, don't make me laugh! Thenardier & Drinkers: Servant to the poor, butler to the great Mme. Thenardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! Thenardier & Drinkers: Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody bless his spouse! Thenardier: Everybody raise a glass Mme. Thenardier: Raise it up the master's arse All Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!

[@gweng3858]

I just saw a high school donut and they were so good I swore I was at Broadway, the person who sung this song as well did it perfectly!

[@gweng3858]

* do it

[@lauracolcernian5969]

I’m in this show rn and my director made a point about how the only reason it’s a happy song is because everybody’s drunk, and they’re all just trying to get wasted to forget their problems. Also: where’s the cockney accent?

[@havenhutchison4671]

Do you think this is based at all around England? Boi, it's literally about the French Revolution IN FRANCE.

[@ep6927]

@@havenhutchison4671 it is not the french revolution

[@nottknormal]

@@havenhutchison4671 It's based on a Paris uprisng that happened in 1832. So technically it is based on a French Revolution, but not The French Revolution.

[@kmcmichael01]

my theatre is doing this musical and my friend who sings this song is so funny😂 I can't wait to do the show!!!

[@WizardOfHumor1989]

Pipe down, chorus boy!

[@idek213]

love madame thenardier's part!!

[@BradCarlMusic]

My opinion, this is THE best version. I wish there was video of this performance - with the same actors.

[@lindacain4554]

I love the line about his not having much there LOL there are a lot of great lines in this little ditty!!! I love every single song in this musical!!!

[@howtodoitkids1442]

3:34-3:37 Sounds like something out of a Melanie Martinez song.

[@xsweetiebloomx605]

Howtodoitkids It sounds like the beat from "Crybaby"

[@RESUHT]

Ive.... just realised that 'mother knows best' from tangled is, like, this but, y'know, a bit different

[@vanessamclean2556]

So excited to do this song for my schools musical!

[@raynahtyler3399]

Lucky!

[@MLittleBrony]

Les Miserables is an emotional and depressing musical, and the song that got me into it was the lighthearted and comedic one

[@sherrychute5219]

Been a favorite of mine for many years. ironies of life, go figure!!!! lmao. still a favorite.

[@Smilez2211]

I love the way he says "Keeper of the ZOO~!" XD

[@raiderbadlands]

My favorite version.

[@miket8223]

George Costanza still singing this in his head ...

[@chocolatecupkaters5641]

This started and for a second I thought Ursula was about to start singing poor unfortunate souls

[@lapizlynn1615]

I first heard this song at a local school's musical performance and the guy doing it made it sound really sleazy and I'm so glad this is the original

[@gosia9631]

Les Mis action is placed in France, so both British and American English, are good/bad the same way. (Sorry for my English)

[@hecate000]

I just saw Les Mis on tour and this song was hilarious Jimmy Smagula is a great Thénardier

[@milesd.8083]

i’ll never forget watching this scene with my mom with the off broadway cast (pretty recently.) this song excited me so much and i was so thankful for the fact i got past my want to leave and hyperactive nature in order to see this.

[@AnimaMandala]

The last verse is beyond doubt the best, it gets stuck in your head the most

[@frankieobrien5742]

I get to dance on a table and slap monsieur Thenardier in this number

[@masonsykes2240]

Lucky

[@touchme7018]

Javert is obsessed with a man who stole a piece of bread and meanwhile these two crooks are running a shady inn

[@BethUnwin]

This is by far one of the best songs in Les Mis!

[@999Russianman]

3 dislikes = 3 people who are jealous of the fun that drama people have.

[@Andrew-gw8df]

I can imagine Kramer from Seinfeld singing this song.

[@disneyanimegirl1100]

That's weird I imagine the episode where George goes to the show and the next day it gets stuck in his head and all he can say is "Master Of The House"

[@freddyrichards878]

No George kept singing this in the season 2 episode, The Jacket

[@TheBlackhawk123]

I saw this musical in London. I loved it, It's incredible how they put such a comic relief in such a sad story. The entire crowd was laughing :D

[@gabbykingmusic]

sasha and helen's version is my favourite, but this is also really nice since it is of course the original (: x

[@ComedyLoverGirl]

I think Sacha Baron Cohen was perfect for that role since it's basically a black comedy scene and he's an actor who basically exclusively acts black comedy roles.

[@arithenugget]

Okay but the intrumental beginning is the same melody as poor unfortunate souls...is it just me??

[@marqui-3795]

MissTuber agreed it’s confusing but also awesome that kind of spooky waltz thing it’s great

[@masonsykes2240]

Emphasis on poor cause everything has got a little price

[@abigailbeaugeard2407]

I came out of the theatre snging this song !!

[@adjutorai9427]

Playing Madame was the most fun I've EVER had in a role😂💜

[@allisonlennox7140]

Same energy as Hard To Be The Bard

[@Shirleycrofts]

love this play ..original Toronto cast amazing London great ...Movie great

[@LilyVanhoy]

I literally JUST saw this musical with my friend ... I LOVED IT. it was very sad and depressing of a musical, but this song totally randomly comes in and cheers the mood of the musical up.. :))

[@dashortgamer]

Saw this play when I first started High School and loved it ever since

[@counterfeitubiquity]

oh my god. i wonder how many things were taken from les mis and put into hamilton.

[@novembergold4144]

Wait why are you commenting this under this specific song? What'd I miss?

[@Gamergirl-.-]

You’re going to have to expand on what you mean here.

[@masonsykes2240]

The best version by far

[@Boomation]

My favorite song of the entire performance!

[@jennymarie3645]

My sistwr had this cd it was 2 discs album, I listened 2 it aand I started liking this

[@cookie_pixel]

DRINKERS/DINERS] Come on you old pest Fetch a bottle of your best What's the nectar of the day [THENARDIER] Here, try this lot Guaranteed to hit the spot Or I'm not Thenardier [DRINKERS/DINERS] Gissa glass a' rum Landlord, over here! [THENARDIER (to himself, then out loud)] Right away, you scum Right away, m'sieur [DRINKERS/DINERS] God this place has gone to hell So you tell me every year Mine host Thenardier He was there so they say At the field of Waterloo Got there, it's true When the fight was all through But he knew just what to do Crawling through the mud, so I've heard it said Picking through the pockets of the English dead He made a tidy score From the spoils of war [THENARDIER] My band of soaks My den of dissolutes My dirty jokes My always pissed-as-newts My sons of whores Spend their lives in my inn Homing pigeons homing in They fly through my doors And their money's good as yours [DRINKERS/DINERS] Ain't got a clue What he put in this stew Must have scraped it off the street God, what a wine! Chateau Neuf de Turpentine Must have pressed it with his feet Landlord, over here Where's the bloody man One more for the road One more slug o' gin Just one more Or my old man is gonna do me in [THENARDIER (greeting a new customer)] Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down And meet the best innkeeper in town As for the rest, all of 'em crooks Rooking their guests and cooking the books Seldom do you see Honest men like me A gent of good intent Who's content to be Master of the house, doling out the charm Ready with a handshake and an open palm Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir Customers appreciate a bon-viveur Glad to do a friend a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice But nothing gets you nothing, everything has got a little price! Master of the house, keeper of the zoo Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two Watering the wine, making up the weight Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight Everybody loves a landlord Everybody's bosom friend I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end! [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Master of the house, quick to catch your eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor, butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Everybody's chaperone [THENARDIER] But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! [Thenardier greets another customer and takes his bag.] Enter Monsieur, lay down your load Unlace your boots, rest from the road This weighs a ton, travel's a curse But here we strive to lighten your purse Here the goose is cooked Here the fat is fried And nothing's overlooked Till I'm satisfied Food beyond compare, food beyond belief Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat Filling up the sausages with this and that Residents are more than welcome, bridal suite is occupied Reasonable charges plus some little extras on the side Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice Two percent for looking in the mirror twice Here a little slice, there a little cut Three percent for sleeping with the window shut When it comes to fixing prices There are a lot of tricks he knows How it all increases All those bits and pieces Jesus, It's amazing how it grows [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Master of the house, quick to catch your eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate Everybody's boon companion Gives 'em everything he's got [THENARDIER] Dirty bunch of geezers Jesus, what a sorry little lot [MADAME THENARDIER] I used to dream that I would meet a prince But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since? Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit! 'Comforter, philosopher,' and lifelong shit Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature Landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted Living with this bastard in the house [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Master of the house [MADAME THENARDIER] Master and a half [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Comforter, philosopher [MADAME THENARDIER] Don't make me laugh [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Servant to the poor, butler to the great [MADAME THENARDIER] Hypocrite and toady and inebriate [DRINKERS/DINERS/THENARDIER] Everybody bless the landlord Everybody bless his spouse [THENARDIER] Everybody raise a glass [MADAME THENARDIER] Raise it up the master's ass [ALL] Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house

[@emileigh39]

Reminds me of George Costanza.

[@Vigates]

I love Mme Thenardier’s part.😃😃😃😄😄

[@Mad-Hatter-ison]

Bad words or not, I wish in my school use that musical

[@ZeldAry1999]

kittygirl123100 At least, YOUR school does musicals...I wish we did here in Québec... But yeah, your school surely should :)

[@Mad-Hatter-ison]

ZeldAry Hyrule yeah XD

[@hooey4362]

Honestly schools shouldn't do les mis, it's just... way too hard.

[@lunari64_]

Not to mention uh... mature. "Lovely ladies" would probably need to be cut, and that's just the start

[@euterpemuseful]

Anyone else think the music's melody at the beginning sounds a bit like Poor Unfortunate Souls?

[@CrockRocket]

Me encanta

[@shellybegunov9477]

this part in the play in my country was hilarious, love this song

[@Vahki100]

Favourite version!

[@sylviaroyce8736]

This makes me think at this point in 2024 about the restaurants and hotels that tack on a little fee for every service, and expect a tip for doing their job.

[@quoodle9883]

I just love this song.

[@bird872mitc3]

This song was cold!!!

[@euterpemuseful]

@LaMisereHQ Maybe! Ha, that would be so cool! I love Alan Menken and Les Mis, and Poor Unfortunate Souls and Master of the House are two of my favorite villain songs!

[@NRP589]

Never Staying at this inn!!!!!!!!

[@BookshopWitch]

Doing musical songs from the past 60 years in my drama school...this song is SO fun to do!!!

[@kaitlynj.7389]

Such a great song 😂😂👍

[@AnimaMandala]

you just can't NOT laugh at this song!

[@jameserdman4652]

I just saw my school do this musical and my god I love this song

[@berrysantics2342]

I love this version!!

[@randomdragonbooks]

Thenardier: "Food beyond compare, food beyond belief!" 2 seconds later: "Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat" XD Wow the best food ever... Toooooootally

[@Wild--kard]

Best food

[@numberonegleefan777]

I used to dream that I would meet a prince but god almighty look whats happened since (aka my life quote)

[@Hug4hugs]

One of my favourite songs ;u;

[@blancheduboisapologist]

This song is only in the musical because it's freaking awesome.

[@ThePercussionFREAK]

i'm so excited i got the part of mme.thenardier!

[@abbstracttheatre1509]

Every time I here this song I can’t help but think: Dr Doofmenschmirtz is that you? ( I can’t be the only one who hears that )

[@FeirceNessOnAStick]

love this song!

[@ZSchrink]

So catchy!

[@Wild--kard]

Yessss

[@barbarakratsios7836]

This song is so sleazy, but catchy!

[@TheArtmaster67]

there differece version of this music master of the house i like it

[@maggierollins7248]

i love this and my father does too mainly cause it’s catchy

[@bcdside]

Has anyone seen the James Cameron movie “The Abyss”? The guy singing is the same guy who plays Catfish, the guy who swims in his underwear, underwater with Ed Harris to stop Coffey from releasing the nuclear warhead; he called his fist “The Hammer.”

[@erisatilano8673]

+Jennifer Good i wish i had a CD. But I have a record... if only i could have earphones on those.

[@bonineto9638]

I know how despicable they are, but damn this song makes me want to be there with them partying!

[@hollisjo4023]

It's almost midnight and I just did 3 pirouette in a row and high kicked because I was bopping so hard....I've had no ballet training or any experience in dance.

[@mazeman90]

@kevinoc0 I think so, not quite sure...

[@Hefscards]

How to make sausages cat tale leg that’s hollow were dose the meat come from