Military TikTok Fails... Part 7

[@Centuries_of_Nope]

To all the barracks bunnies out there, thank you for your cervix.

[@EagleFlies0]

OH HELL NAHHHHH😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@AlejandroTennessen-xt5tv]

Oh naw bro that’s too far 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂🤨

[@crypticfrostbite]

LMAO said what i was thinking

[@zillazakara]

💀

[@seanm7539]

Yes

[@Saffi____]

I actually have a story from boot camp while in the Marines. One day during training a DI had told me that my head seemed swollen or inflated. When they took me to the medical center base my entire top head was expanded. After a day the doctor told me that because my hat was so tight around my head the water had nowhere to go and it caused my head to swell up. The strange thing was that the hats aren't that tight and I wasn't wearing one when my head had swollen. Benefit though was that the doctor kept me for a few hours away from training because he wanted to use me as a "guinea pig" and show my condition to all his students while he explains what the issue might be.

[@EternalBeatbox]

💀 You were a whole ass science experiment that's wild.

[@infinity-gauntlet-made-of-5221]

Nah shout out to doc tho. Homeboy on the grind 24/7, saw a guy who's head was swelling and proceeded to use him as a practical example for his class.

[@ElizaShakiraMassani]

Did you ever find out the actual reason?

[@Flip_Tech_Official]

I fucked my knee up in marine corps bootcamp and I was told if I showed my face around any branch, I’d be sent home. So I’m jobless and living in an apartment

[@nicklawson9805]

Its a cover Marine not a hat

[@dillandegroot]

My buddy snuck a girl from a different unit in his room the night before he took emergency leave and she stayed the night, over slept and failed to report to formation the next morning. Her leadership showed up at his door after he was already on his way home and she was still sleeping… yeah they both got in trouble

[@mILKBONEBRET]

Barracks Bunny who worked at the base McDonalds was a little person. Often the barracks breeching tactic was being smuggled in via sea bag (aka duffle bag)..... we... we called her the McMidget.

[@rainydays9241]

Foul ✋😭😂

[@huey8609]

Yup, this was the comment I was scrolling for! 🤣

[@jessicadriscoll4948]

OMG 😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️

[@Wifey-05]

That’s disgusting

[@Darth-Nihilus1]

😂 legendary

[@crack_panda1854]

Got a letter one year in Afghanistan and I wasnt sure if it was a troll or the school was just jacked up. It said " Dear soldier, merry Christmas and thank you for freeing the slaves". We had that shit hung up in BP1 pretty much the whole time I was there

[@EagleFlies0]

Whoever gave ya that letter yeah ummm he is on our list

[@BigMoneyMike1]

So did you deployed soldiers just get letters from random schools? Becuase back in grade school I remeber we made cards and stuff a few times for soldiers who where deployed but we never got a response nor did we know who it was going too

[@georgescholl9426]

​@@BigMoneyMike1if you had family in the military at the time you could've requested to get it sent to them. My uncle held onto his like a fucking trophy until he got blown up😂😂 he survived, and laughs about it now

[@nathanschaffer8743]

My Christmas card from some kid while I was in Afghanistan said, "Thank you for dieing for my freedom!". Kid had it out for me and we never even met!

[@Rusty_Rat_Huntsman]

American Jesus lol

[@Osama-Bon-Jovi-01]

That's wild 💀

[@katlynnestolle656]

That’s messed up

[@ZephHgllgd]

Mb gang I did not mean to say that I was 8

[@RoosterAbarth]

Woke up one night in the barracks to gunshots. Seems an E-6 had a barracks bunny in his room and the husband (another E-6 in our company) kicked his door in mid coitus,. E-6 number one, jumped bare assed nekkid thru the window and ran thru the parking lot while E-6 number 2 shot at him. Did I mention his barracks room was on the second floor? Monday morning PT formation was a bit awkward...

[@c2thaj69]

e-6 is not allowed in the barracks my guy. nice story though. almost believed it?

[@RoosterAbarth]

@@c2thaj69 in 1985 they were

[@webbedfingercrust281]

When the guy said 3 steps to get rich quick in the military, I thought he was just gonna say "Leave, get out, you will not get rich here"

[@bbridges711]

Conceptually, easy. Practically, dedication and hard work.

[@MrShortStuff]

This is why we can't have nice things

[@FlyHighTabor]

Mmhim

[@militaryman7851]

Fr

[@Em.Brynes]

Broo I’m the 209th commenter

[@ChezaWR]

Military is nice things?

[@StillTicking2]

Those Canadians from WW1 and WW2 being like "Bro, they even wrote a book about our deeds during the wars" -*hands over book* -Geneva Convention

[@bbQube2009]

Real savages

[@jessica1714]

we are "nice" until we aren't then you don't want be against us

[@tannerrichards1771]

As a 30 year old who just picked up E5, that felt mad personal 😂

[@jacksonbrown2692]

30 year old that says “mad personal” Jesus

[@NoNtsmiiile]

seeems about right for someone whos 30@@jacksonbrown2692

[@Codbeast101]

@@jacksonbrown2692 it’s the current slang, it’s not generationally exclusive.

[@Shapeless-ce7zq]

@@jacksonbrown2692 The tool picking apart slang from a stranger lol

[@jacksonbrown2692]

@@Shapeless-ce7zq Nice profile picture. Anime twink

[@singularleaf3895]

Well lets just say the company commander's wife was... well acquainted with what the barracks were like when he was on deployment.

[@Water_boy76]

Had a guy climb up to the 4th floor for some extra duty. They got caught when he jumped out the window after the NCO walked in.

[@shanesawhutchison9255]

DUDE! What the Hell man? Not Back-to-Back WW Champs? We were in WW1, so were the others like Great Britain, France, etc. All on the winning side. Niko, Niko, Niko…it hurts that you left us out man. Great Channel, Cheers. 🇨🇦

[@96ryank]

Tbf you guys scared the shit out us both times! Mad respect to the Canadians, ANZAK and Indian troops who fought and aren't mentioned enough 🇩🇪

[@shanesawhutchison9255]

@@96ryank Thank you very much for that, from a very old ex-Army Infantry Soldier. Cheers. 🇨🇦

[@googlehomeboi9975]

60,000 dead civilians.... in 1 day

[@A94music]

Right... also... should we talk about our "Geneva suggestion" response? 😂

[@googlehomeboi9975]

@@A94music not a war crime if you do it first

[@Defuze17]

Hey man us Canadians may not be back to back world war champs but we did dominate the first one😂😅😂

[@leventhumps3861]

They didn’t teach us that in school. I could’ve sworn that the US was the main character.

[@JustinBritton-tu9ee]

We were back to back world war champs

[@leventhumps3861]

@@JustinBritton-tu9ee Nuh uh. USA hard carried. Y’all just the background characters in the story that is American History!

[@JustinBritton-tu9ee]

@@leventhumps3861 that’s not what 1812 said when we dusted your fat American ass’s all the way back to the White House

[@sxlitxry1]

BURNED YA FUCKIN WHITEHOUSE TO THE GROUND???

[@T57Custodian]

The barracks bunnys supplied moral when nothing else could 😂😂

[@palierto]

Responding to the kid’s letter got me too good.

[@SergioBecerraII]

The soldier that said “A little harder, daddy” was the best one! 🤣

[@SammyR30]

Um, daddy NIKKO here in Canada we are back to back World war champs! WE WERE YOUR ALLIES 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖

[@GetSkwerly]

And a significant contributor to the Geneva Convention. It's never a war crime the first time

[@bbQube2009]

All I have to say is Leo major

[@simpledamon]

@4:56 article 15 doesn't get you kicked out, it's non judicial punishment. You could lose rank, lose pay and or have to to extra-duty

[@NathanGeske]

10:33 the canadians who carried ww1 and the ones who fought in ww2 watching from heaven: 😐

[@OneSultaiGoblin]

facts. USA wouldn't have "won the war" if it wasn't for Canadian forces taking strong points that the USA couldn't.

[@Hooliollamas]

The storm troopers

[@monkeeatsbanana7397]

@@OneSultaiGoblin no. the brits, russians, and french did the most

[@BraydenDooley-lf1oz]

​@Hooliollamas those were literally the germans

[@Hooliollamas]

@@BraydenDooley-lf1oz nah thats what the germans called the canadians in ww1

[@alberich3099]

9:51 Yea I was a Sergeant OC (which is a rank here you pass through to becomming an officer) when I was 20 on my way to be come a 89E. I trained civilian police and military intelligence in mine awareness and compression trauma first aid. They were between 30 and 45 - yea I grew a beard between two routations just to look a bit older.

[@thebenevolentone5748]

The SECOND I got that 214, my brand new commander asked for a speech. All I said was "Still hate it here Sir."

[@juancernas485]

I didn't get the wooden plaque. My Marines tactically acquired a rotor blade and made that my going away plaque. They painted the front, and they all signed the back. And yes POG, Swing with Wing, Rah.

[@NFNADVENTURE]

We called them barrack rats. Just scattering around the barracks

[@sarahcrocker2288]

They literally made us in high school write notes for solders as an assignment for Christmas

[@generalyann2937]

Marines are basically orcs from 40k 😂😂

[@Rondrent]

Instead if WAAAGH it’s RAAAAH

[@brianwhitmore4705]

Not quite, Orcs in 40k have their own ships to travel in. Must Always Ride In Navy Equipment

[@CavemanDan54]

1:44 "Thank you for your cervix"

[@DwayneHicks323]

Back to back world war champs, my brother you rock up 3 years late to both and claim your the champs

[@carsonwood4190]

"thats why Canada isnt back to back ww champs"...... - the geneva convention was made to nerf canada - Canada helped the British in the northern europe fron in ww2 - and 1 canadian took a town conttrolod by 300+ german SS solders in ww2

[@lalaland2107]

IM CRYING HE REALLY HAD A SMILE ON HIS FACE WHILE SQUEEZING THE THING TIGHTER 😂😂😂😂

[@SpaceRanger187]

Had a 1st LT that would come around the dorms and sleep with enlisted dudes. Was all good until she wouldn't sleep with one dude because he was a tool and he went and snitched and everyone got in trouble. My best was hooking up with the base commanders wife. It was until I got caught and I went from an E-4 to an E-1.

[@EternalBeatbox]

Was the coochie worth it?

[@leventhumps3861]

Worth it?

[@DjordjePetrocox]

​@@leventhumps3861Best question

[@baldw33nie]

Currently at the airport getting ready to fly to Missouri for bct. Perfect timing Niko.

[@medicbabe2ID]

You're in a frozen hell now. See you on the other side.

[@Ima_sniperrr-Louisianacowgirl]

Love it! Thanks for the laugh brother brother 🤘

[@whitefeatherairsoft8002]

it wasnt my bunny but MY SENIOR DRILL INSTRUCTOR AT PARRIS ISLAND BROUGHT A GIRL BACK TO THE SQUAD BAY! The recruit on duty SALUTED HER. My senior went out on his duty night lmao! shit was GOLD

[@dylandills3721]

Yooo. That’s my boy who got tazed and squealed daddy🤣🤣🤣

[@kaidenmacarthur6716]

We are back to back world war champs tho. We joined both war before you. 10:00

[@michaelsawyerjr1146]

Too all the barracks bunny’s, thank you for you crevix. I mean service

[@Nathan15038]

10:45 I remember in high school that’s why I was telling my friends like they brought the pull up bar and I was like hey they probably make you write your email and phone number down because if you do good they might be calling you and trying to recruit you 😂

[@cvallager]

Nikko and Dom would get along VERY well

[@codyhammock3097]

Bro did you really read my letter?

[@damientylerlakebetancourt3579]

Damn bro, You always make me laugh, i apreciate ur videos, keep up the good work! 🤟

[@durpdurp0257]

The letters part took me out😂😂

[@shanemcy]

Canadians are walking Geneva conflicts

[@ajgonzalez5076]

Canada are back to back World War champs though. They were on the winning side both times and fought longer than the USA did both times.

[@sgt.lt.mjr.pepperface4627]

But....but the canadians ARE back to back world war champs tho...

[@zacharybrown3781]

There were two twin sisters that were well known around the dorms. People would sneak them on base. Got bad enough to where we had to be on the lookout for them as they would be hidden in cars.

[@Qball613]

Canada is back to back ww champs we also were in the war from day one. We didnt show up late like some countries.

[@polloloco1163]

America joined near the end 😂

[@kristenmorrison9230]

my guy 10:36 learn your history canada was on winning side for both world wars 😂, great vid tho

[@DizzNutt93]

More Nikko please. Finished this vid and Im still jonesing for my fix.

[@Jdrf73]

I sometimes worry about you nikko 😂

[@SharkGirl7]

" we all turn into monkeys and go do cool sh!t you know." LOL

[@berryb745]

Ar-15 gets you kicked out?? I have like 5 for stupid shit, they used to hand them out like candy, feet not properly alined ar-15, Didn’t salute 5 steps away you did it in 3, you failed to properly follow military customs and disrespected an officer, sneezed in formation gotcha. Now I’m pissed agin, thanks for reminding me why I hated the army.

[@garywales3636]

That chair shit killed me 😂

[@JulieParker-z4i]

Thanks!

[@spoonmonkey8971]

Maybe not back to back WW champs but we like to keep it on the D low because we get pretty inventive with fuck up shit we can do in the feild. '' It's not a war crime the first time ! ''

[@CosplayandCrime]

6:42 nope, that’s technically gas. Maybe you’ll win, but you’ll have to celebrate in prison.

[@joshv9139]

Junk in the trunk was me E-2 at Fort Stewart 😂😂

[@Cobra_TheReal]

Nikko truly the best

[@Swatman612]

Cody... my name is Cody. Did you get my letter? Are you my dad?

[@cadmanfox]

💀

[@crookedtoothcustoms6316]

Canada may not be the World War champs but they do got them War crimes 😂

[@MrDoggoCraft]

Cough they fought in both ww for longer than the USA cough.

[@TiernanWilkinson]

This is decent stress relief my buddy and I are going to MEPS literally in the morning.

[@TTVPurple_Raven_7]

Love your content always waiting for the next upload 💜

[@i0am0the0one0]

11:10 Omg donut operater did the best he could to write you a nice letter and you just shit on him smh

[@smarball]

that first one was the same reaction when my mum gives me the side eye

[@scrappysam]

That dude who put that blood pressure thing on his neck is beyond inept. That one marine we all know and love who always loses his rifle is like a god compared to that guy, same with his buddies too wtf they both just stood there while dude smashed his skull on the ground all the while the pressure on the strap kept up…. like did dude think it was just going to release when he passed out?

[@c2thaj69]

bro the letter thing had me dyingggg

[@lynnsterbear8555]

Dang that’s so messed up Callin out the 42’s like that😅 I feel attacked

[@invariantmono]

I’m loving these stories lmao

[@North862]

"Canada, thats why your not back to back WW champs" Uhhh, anyone wanna tell him about how fucked up we were in WW1? We were on your side bro friendly fire. 😂 Fr tho we need to do better our military is fucked rn.

[@drd675]

and fighting before the US in both

[@mr.-mr594]

10:30 wait till bro finds about about the allies....

[@zhillsdaniel]

I even got armrests dood! Lmaooo 😂

[@SailorRamos]

5:51 go back 10 seconds. I did that on accident just to make sure I heard him right and got a funny outcome.

[@aliciadupuy9228]

air tight containers to hide the grass smell! no ziplock baggies, yall!

[@bbridges711]

Military millionaire poster here. You’re fucking hilarious and I love your stuff!

[@ariawarner9251]

1:30 that was my sgt in tech school and she was super fun

[@novemberoscar98]

To all the barracks bunnies... Thank you for your cervix. 🫡

[@AppalachianLumberjack]

He fked up she already had the kid he was playin ball with

[@XzaybandoX]

People letting there intentional thoughts win.🤣👍

[@Valkyr_Cyrus]

Another awesome video

[@nikkoortizshorts]

For real!

[@ryanhalpin7748]

We had a barracks bunny go through an entire company in one night

[@Tang0Hunter]

thank you for dying for our freedom was my favorite drawing ever lol so fucked but so great

[@kostas9341]

THE ARMY TRAINS YOU HOW TO BE HOMELESS

[@Tom_the_goat]

Thanks for this service mr ortiz love the videos

[@MattDaBoneless]

Don't do what I do never hit so hard... much luv man

[@longwong1016]

10:34 is where I realized those are drill instructors in my company.

[@CruxusAshbourne]

6:09 Goldie Locks looking for her Three Bears; run!

[@blackwolf59]

Bro he was literally shaking himself apart

[@DrOctogonapus117]

My last reenlistment. I got a pocket constitution…

[@DRO262]

Dude, I love your videos

[@BeardedHobbyist]

The most capable chair you have ever seen in your whole life😂😂😂😂. Fucking fantastic

[@Cakey831]

Bro I got some wild letters from kids back home while we were in Iraq lmao

[@vedantcheruku5332]

i sent one that said "tank you firefitghter" and i feel so bad for calling them that😅

[@phyrexianjudgement]

Oh you need a chair? (Proceeds to wipe bearded face)

[@NinjaKitty91_]

"I even got armrests dude" OMG 😹😹😹

[@mariofeathers4194]

She's just jealous that she can't talk to aliens

[@thatoneguy9843]

The mattress got that re-vitiligo

[@Exvinnittyy-CC]

W Nikko vid frfr.

[@conquerthafuture7209]

Lol the Tai Lopez clip broke me

[@scottcarnegie9167]

Wait…we ARE back to back world war champs tho? 😅