why is everyone dressing like a little girl?

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SOURCES
The Commodification of Childhood by Daniel Thomas Cook
Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from the Girls in America by Jo B. Paoletti
www.nytimes.com/2023/08/09/st...
www.nylon.com/fashion/coquett...
www.washingtonpost.com/lifest...
www.vox.com/culture/23831903/...
www.vam.ac.uk/blog/museum-of-...
www.ilsegregoorcostumes.com/r...
www.morriscollection.libraryc...
www.sydney.edu.au/news-opinio...
Hall, The Feminist in Science
University Society, The Child Welfare Manual: A Handbook of Child Nature and Nurture for Parents and Teachers, 1:255.
Earnshaw’s, January 1923, 986.
histclo.com/style/style.html
reginajeffers.blog/2022/03/21...
www.vintage4me2.com/products/...
witness2fashion.wordpress.com...
Clothing and Gender in America: Children's Fashions, 1890-1920 by Jo B. Paoletti
culted.com/long-live-kinderwh...
www.enjoy-your-style.com/kinde...
www.nytimes.com/1994/03/27/st...
0:00 - intro
2:59 - are the girlies alright?
10:46 - history of children’s clothing
19:05 - history of childlike clothing for women

[@kawaiinekochick2]

I think for the most part, women create these styles because they don't necessarily view this hyper feminine aesthetic as inherently sexual or childish. That's a view created by men. When I dress in a girly way, I feel like a feminine adult woman, not childish whatsoever.

[@VideosForYou90]

Your last sentence though 💯

[@Nikki_the_G]

Same, I do not feel "helpless" or like a "child", I do feel soft in a confident way, accepting of my own femininity. Supposedly, this is INCORRECT, lol.

[@abigailh7715]

Oh boy. What's not men's fault? So lame for women - not 'girlies' to nevvver accept any accountability. Feminism lied to you and made you think everything is men's fault. And you dummies fell for it It's you grown women insisting on infantalizing yourselves as girls, girlies, and glorifying Barbies, pink evvverrything ad nauseum, lolita, babydoll styles, ruffles, bows and onsie aesthetics Why don't grown women want to refer to themselves as such? Is that men's fault too like everything else seems to be? Lots of groupthink idiocy Why don't men call themselves boys all their adulthood? Maybe because they're smarter and can think for themselves instead of follow the leader like you h i ve mi nds?

[@onemillionpercent]

this

[@Shooky_pink]

say that!! so true!! most women who participate in these styles and aesthetics dress it for their own genuine interest!! that’s not to say that there aren’t some who do it for “bad” reasons or that it’s rare at all when it’s quite common actually and those situations do need to be discussed and brought up and acknowledged but for the most part it is women genuinely having fun and liking how it looks

[@misanonymous]

It's infuriating to me that the whole premise of these arguments is that feminine things are childish. The only reason hyperfeminity is perceived as "childish" is because society infantalizes women (not because lace and bows are intrinsically so). When have you ever seen a child dressed in any of the modern adult "feminine" clothes depicted in this video? You dont! Young girls' clothes in any store dont look like Selkie dresses. The idea that somehow these dresses are "childish" is not based in the reality of children's fashion. Rather, these social commenter project their ideas of childishness on hyper feminine fashion, i.e. it is feminine so it must be "childish"

[@VideosForYou90]

Love this comment!

[@Orcprincess_ai]

THIS

[@abigailh7715]

The infantalizing will continue full force as long as grown women insist on infantalizing themselves as girls, girlies, and glorifying Barbies, pink evvverrything ad nauseum, lolita, babydoll styles, ruffles, bows and onsie aesthetics Why don't grown women want to refer to themselves as such? Is that men's fault too like everything else seems to be? Lots of groupthink idiocy Why don't men call themselves boys all their adulthood? Maybe because they can think for themselves instead of follow the leader in a hivemind group think? Females don't create, only imitate & only latch onto a style once they see it on a celebrity, influencer or the 'cool' girl in school.

[@darcy3731]

Yes!

[@merme295]

female rageee yeahhhhh

[@beelaabeja]

as a lolita, i can confirm that im not trying to dress like a little girl, im trying to look like a porcelain doll, or a fashion statue

[@seilahqlq1]

Too bad Kpop is leading now; from 1990 to 2010, was more a Jpop scenario and many runways played with gothic lolita as inspiration. I was a teen around 2005 (Orkut, Fotolog Era) and it was a well known community/style.

[@cisshayri]

I mean no little girl even dress like that at least from what i have seen

[@indyraweng777]

@@cisshayrithey actually wear more young adult clothes like crop tops and jeans, or baggy shirts and cargo pants. Teens are dressing more adulting .

[@astridmustikasyamsuri6207]

even lolita fashion have their own genre/aesthetic right? the pastel the goth and steam punk lolita kinda thing

[@peacockcrowe2718]

As a fellow Lolita I just want to be a frilly enthusiast.

[@bumblebeeb708]

I think something she didn't really touch on is that many times the very girly dress aesthetic on social media goes along with castles, breathtaking views of the ocean while frolicking through lush waving grass. Sipping on champagne and touring palaces, living in an altogether elevated life. And a lot of the aesthetics are taken from the lives of rich women like the ladies of regency England and of Versailles. Wearing the frills and bows can help to disconnect from the everyday grind of commuting to work and sitting in a bland office because you can picture yourself living a more carefree life.

[@Shirumoon]

Yes! Kind of like vintage fashion, not vintage values but still give us the vintage fantasy.

[@selina6107]

Yes. These soft aesthetics are definitely giving Rococo.

[@amorepsyche808]

Exactly to me it’s like romanticizing my ordinary life, bows and some lace make the day more e enjoyable

[@emilyr8668]

@@amorepsyche808 right? its not like we're rejecting our every day jobs and obligations in total, but its a way to elevate the experiences

[@monohanie5778]

most styles and aesthetics today are made for escapism

[@MushroomHat]

Honestly for me it was this weird concept that once you hit a certain age you “weren’t allowed” to be hyper feminine anymore. Fashions like lolita fashion are more common now, but when I got into it back in 2011 it caused a lot of bullying at school, so I’m pretty happy knowing kids these days have more freedom of expression then ever before. Edit: can we stop infantilising feminine clothing now please?

[@shifa444]

this type of fashion was pretty in during the 2011 tumblr era/ lana del rey & melanie martinez era

[@iloveyouacetrappola]

@@shifa444 online maybe, but i doubt it was irl

[@shifa444]

@@iloveyouacetrappolappl online are made up of real people

[@naurrr]

​@@shifa444 at least lolita fashion specifically was still very difficult to get back in the early 2010s. everyday wear "girly" aesthetic clothes were gaining popularity online but hadn't proliferated among most retailers.

[@BloggerErin]

As someone who was always in awe of the Victorian/gothic Lolita styles in middle school (couldn’t really afford to wear it at the time), I am so happy to see the subculture creep back in and hit the mainstream “-core” markets. Harajuku subcultures in general have always been so cool to me, the visuals and mix of high art looks with more casual styles just makes me so happy. ☺

[@nnnn-sc2im]

i think it has to do a lot with hyper feminine style being demonized and girls going through a “not like the other girls” phase when they were younger

[@aura9773]

trueeee but then sometimes i feel like that also backfires :/ i’ve seen women get called “pick me” just for not liking pink or not listening to Taylor Swift/Lana Del Rey lol… i love all those girly things don’t get me wrong but i feel like people are forgetting the definition of “pick me”. a “pick me” isn’t someone who simply doesn’t have many feminine interests, it’s someone who actively shames women to boost themselves up.😭

[@aura9773]

i wish girls could just exist peacefully and freely and like what they wanna like :/ it’s exhausting

[@aura9773]

sorry i hope my replies weren’t too off topic 😅😅 it just came to mind but i absolutely agree with you

[@constantreader1422]

this plus the world is burning so we wanna play pretend, even for a little while.

[@rml2765]

I think it also has to do with the very “mature” and “adult” aesthetic of the 2016-ish era when it was very bold and dark type makeup. So now people are into lighter and softer aesthetics

[@phenomadology23]

I wish people would stop calling fashions "anti-feminist." Different people find different things empowering, meaningful, attractive. Don't limit feminism to a rigid aesthetic, and don't limit people!

[@Mademoiselle246]

Feminism IS an actual set of ideas and theories meant to liberate all women, so no it’s not about individuals feeling empowered. It’s fair to call some of these styles anti feminist. Not saying I don’t partake in some of them, but it’s incredibly unhelpful to the feminist movement to reduce it down to individuals and their feelings of empowerment.

[@yadri9392]

Finally, someone who knows what they're talking about. @@Mademoiselle246

[@isabellagreene6773]

thank you!! it's like some people are oblivious to the necessity of actual empowerment and change and instead believe we exist in a vacuum where our choices don't matter@@Mademoiselle246

[@lichana]

​could you give an example of how one of the styles mina mentioned could be anti-feminist ?

[@leggoyourego2981]

@@Mademoiselle246 thank u so much for this. so tired of ppl thinking that dressing a certain way is inherently feminist. some things are not feminist and thats completely fine

[@abigailjolene]

As someone whose dad bought them push-up bras from Victoria’s Secret in 7th grade and sexualized my body throughout my teens, at 21, dressing in a more frilly, loose, and light-colored wardrobe feels like reclaiming my body as my own. Being on Tumblr during this time furthered this distorted view of my body and caused me to sexualize myself for boys my age. Girl core or blocette helps me see my body in a nonsexual light while still being fashionable and not going to the opposite extreme of feeling shame and covering up as much as possible. I’m dressing for myself and my 13-year-old self. The fact that men see women's primary purpose as sexual to the point that when they dress in styles from their childhood, it’s seen as pedophilic fashion is a self-report.

[@MsElizaRae]

I am truly sorry you had such a father

[@GH-fb9dh]

I’m sorry. I’m happy for you dressing for yourself now 💓🎀

[@you-got_mail9020]

Yes! Absolutely agree on your last sentences! More child-like fashion based aesthetics are not sexual or meant to be sexual. Unless someone who’s wearing the designs makes it sexual (which IS morally wrong and is pedobaiting) then it’s not for sexual purposes. Those who sexualize it need to self reflect and get help.

[@abigailjolene]

@@you-got_mail9020 agreed

[@MotherEarth3121]

😒🙄

[@suricato151]

The entire 2010s were about men reverting to their childhoods: we had an insurmountable amount of superhero media paired with the golden age of gaming (both video gaming at the beginning of the decade as well as online gaming at the end), and the male fashion definitely followed suit with the informalization of men's garments - workplace wear like suits gave way for jeans and tshirts paired with jackets, the beanie became a style symbol, everything got prints, even the polo shirt slowly faded away, but it's when the women decide to do the same that it becomes an "issue".

[@suricato151]

And don't even get me started on the phenoma that was the geeky style that made women look like elementary school teachers counterparting the superhero enthusiasts men. This shit disturbs me to this day.

[@nelthepisces]

i didn't even think about that, but you do have a point! male interests are usually seen as the norm whereas female trends are overcriticized/overanalyzed

[@GravityFallsUp]

This never even occurred to me, but you’re so right. Men get to be boys forever without even a second glance.

[@Nikki_the_G]

Wow, outstanding point!

[@abigailh7715]

Lol what about the infantalizing of grown women insist on calling themselves girls, girlies, and glorifying Barbies, pink evvverrything ad nauseum, lolita, babydoll styles, ruffles, bows and onsie aesthetics Why don't grown women want to refer to themselves as such? Is that men's fault too like everything else seems to be? Lots of groupthink idiocy Why don't men call themselves boys all their adulthood? Maybe because they can think for themselves instead of follow the leader?

[@mushmush4980]

I think it has a lot to do with women reclaiming the right to be hyperfeminine for their own enjoyment because being too girly isn't considered sexually attractive to men. Dressing in lolita fashion or similar girly clothes is a lot like going against the mainstream feminine standard dominated by the male gaze.

[@shifa444]

@@clashwithwords”Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” - Margaret Atwood

[@GH-fb9dh]

@@shifa444wow

[@smidlem1117]

@@shifa444 love love love this quote, as a trans woman who is closeted, the only way to win the game is to not play with these sorts of things, as impossible an ask as it can be at times

[@daryastilinski1115]

@@smidlem1117you’re literally a man lol you can’t relate

[@wawis231]

"being too girly isn't sexually attractive to men" oh how i wish that was true. There are so many messed up ppl in this world unfortunately 😢

[@kuroon7553]

I was watching a korean KZbinr the other day and they said something around the lines of "the west doesn't have a cute culture" in the sense that here in the west anything "cute" is deemed childish. And I believe this is at the root of people's problem with "girl fashion", because most of the time the outfits are really heavy on the cute side, and people can't fathom adults being cute. I actually had an argument with a family members a few months back because they said it's ridiculous for a women as old as my mom (who's 54) to be wearing Disney characters socks. And when I i pointed out that it's nor just because you're aging that you need to loose the joy and shine of living, they said I was being irresponsible for "allowing" my mother to dress that way. First of, she's an adult women, no one needs to ALLOW my mother to do anything, she's her own person. But second, why are people so hard on the idea that adulthood needs to be boring? And I'm not saying that only for women. This video is about girl fashion, but we can also bring to the table the fact that society forces men to dress boring as all f*ck. What is a BIG moment in these celebrities events? A male celebrity wore a colorful suit and not a black one. Men fashion is boring. And I think people push back on girl fashion so much because they want all adults to be on the same boring fashion. Also, that might be a hot take, but the only people that hate on different fashions are the ones that weren't allowed to be part of a subculture when teenagers. I personally believe that being part of a subculture is fundamental to growing up, because it helps you see the world differently and to be more welcoming of things that are "strange" to you. Also, I believe the narrative of "they're trying to reconnect with their childhood" can be quite bad, tbh, because it kinda assumes that everyone who partakes on these fashion have some kind of trauma and takes a bit of the agency from the people that like and wear these fashion. "Oh, poor thing, dressing girly is just a trauma response" instead of understanding that some people simply like the fashion without a big reason behind it.

[@iamobsessedwithshadowsight]

The way you said someone shamed your mother for her Disney socks reminds me of the whole “Disney adult” hate train, where people essentially just shame adults for… liking something?? Does everyone seriously think when you turn 18, you suddenly lose all your hobbies and interests??

[@miserabletry]

Absolutely. Men's fashion is terribly lacking in all things beauty, individuality, and uniqueness. imho, fashion shouldn't be gendered AT ALL. ANY accessory or clothing item should be fair game and normalized for both genders. There should be no sexuality involved in aesthetics... neither men nor women should be sexualized by what they choose to decorate their bodies with, and men should feel free to wear any and everything a woman wears.

[@despres380]

holy shit i agree 100%, thank you for putting it into words! (my mom is under the impression that she's not allowed to wear sparkles or shirts with words on them)

[@soleil7259]

​@@miserabletryI personally don't want to see men in high heels, dresses and mini skirts.. I think the whole let's wear all we want is making the people go gaga. People love the extremes these days and i don't agree on it. I saw men half naked in drag walking in front of kids... and that is absolutely insane.

[@soleil7259]

You seem to forget that asian girls face a lot of SA and the "cute concept" plays a big role in it. The hyper femininity, which often times does result in a more childish look, because it is often not only linked to the clothes alone but also a younger appearance aswell and a more childlike behavior, goes hand in hand with how a lot of men view these women. Obviously SA happens anyways and i don't judge women for wearing something cute but the whole picture changes how somebody is preceived by others.

[@janellescott210]

Feminine dose not equal childish or childlike.

[@LionessHeart08]

No, not necessarily. 1950’s fashion is very feminine, but it’s more grownup and womanly.

[@ly6113]

@@LionessHeart08 why aren’t ribbons and ruffles and all that also mature? i think of grandma style, extremely hyper feminine and full of ribbons and ruffles and delicate florals etc

[@Mandylol90]

​@@ly6113Cause a lot of little girls wear stuff like that. It isn't that deep- Just wear what you want. Saying it looks child-like is just an opinion

[@yalrdyknow]

Ngl, I see a lot of drama plots with that line. The women 20-25 year olds act like kids and I'm like bruh. I think it's called aegyo

[@themagicknightress7132]

I think cute clothes are cute? It’s kinda messed up that people think that liking cute things is infantilizing myself.

[@saramail5168]

It's even worse when they call you a ped0file for wearing a pink dress and a bow as an adult woman, or that you are profiting of child s3xualisat1on... No, I just liked how I look in the dress, I am allowed to wear something other than jeans and a t-shirt.

[@ruexelliot4791]

​@@saramail5168THANK YOU.

[@randomavailablehandle]

They WANT to find something to pick on ofc so they reach for ANYTHING.

[@notwerkinginthishouse8634]

​@@saramail5168 I feel like as long as u dont try to imitate a child, that is okay bc i saw some people trying to imitate asian little girls by stereotyping them into a fetish

[@saramail5168]

@@notwerkinginthishouse8634 Living in Poland, I have no idea what do Asian little girls do and have no desire to know lol But I'm sure they don't swear, go to work, pay their bills or wear makeup like I do

[@casin0circus]

in response to anyone genuinely asking "why do these women want to dress like little girls?", why do you consider hyperfemininity childish? additionally, why does adult life have to be boring, dull and drab? am i not allowed to express myself or indulge in whimsy because that is "for" children? kinda weird if you ask me... Personally, I think the primary ones equating this style to childhood are the outside observers who don't get it, not the actual people wearing it. Ask anyone in the EGL community about this. Kids IRL do NOT look like that, they've been wearing chocolate milk stained cartoon character t-shirts and ratty velcro sandals and other cheap shit their parents can afford to buy them and let them grow into and out of since before I was even born. be so for real, you KNOW only adults with their own money can afford to dress in EGL and Selkie type clothes. We NEED to unpack why everything associated with femininity is treated this way.

[@rammie4342]

1000% agreed, why is hyper femininity being treated like objectively childish clothing?

[@alpacafish1269]

@@rammie4342 Cause it derives from fashion that is related to children's early clothing. I agree it shouldn't be something that is shunned, the connection isn't vast.

[@sabrinatruppel6699]

It’s like after you reach adulthood you are supposed to just wear a boring grey suit and wait for your death

[@casin0circus]

respectfully bestie, most dolls haven't looked remotely like that in a LONG time. That's not even getting into the fact that dolls are often designed and dressed to look like glamourous adult women to appeal to girls fantasizing about what their own adulthood might look like. @@lucievelyn4866

[@casin0circus]

just because there are similarities, doesn't mean that's the actual source of the desire to dress in this particular way. Correlation vs causation and all that. It's natural for humans to see patterns everywhere, it's just how our brains are wired. However, it's important to remember that just because we *think* we see a connection, doesn't mean that there necessarily is one. The idea that hyperfeminine women are doing it to look like kids or their dolls is only a presumption people make because of their own biases and associations. maybe some people DO have that reasoning, but it's definitely not the majority. We like it because we like the colors and textures and shapes, just like with any other style of fashion. @@alpacafish1269

[@dfjulesful]

I think it's kind of a case of dopamine dressing. Like how could you not be happy in ultra feminine girly clothing it's just so fun and nostalgic

[@vivianloney]

That makes a lot of sense, actually. Being a woman who prefers to dress in masc styles I can't really relate to the hyper femininity, because I can never divorce that from my childhood discomfort at being forced to wear frilly things. But I can relate to the fun of referencing childhood in bold bright colors. Like I used to have these wide legged Hawaiian print slacks. How can you not have a good time in hawaiian print pants?

[@Imallwrite212]

Yes! So many changes in aesthetics and trends I feel are a result of the pandemic and how down and isolated we were. We need joy!

[@sophiejones3554]

Well, not for me personally. But then, I'm not a woman. Hearing women say things like this was one of the things that helped me realize I was nonbinary. Frills and bows were always things I was forced into, never things I enjoyed (at least not in these quantities, I have been known to wear a little bow or a spot of lace from time to time). If it's fun for *you*, that's what is important. What you're saying reflects the extent to which a queer sensibility regarding fashion has made it's way into the mainstream. You're dressing for your comfort, confident that someone else will find it attractive. That's a good thing, imo.

[@Tramper27]

i remember being drawn to lolita fashion when i was a teen because it felt "sexless" to me, like it wasnt the typical girly feminine that i was expected to wear. it gave me more control over my appearance and gender presentation when it seemed like everyone around me was projecting their version of what that should be onto me. i still think of lolita fashion fondly.

[@bigpapawalkingdownthestreet]

omg I feel the exact same way!

[@Kalani_Saiko]

As someone who grew up a huge tomboy, I love lolita fashion for the same reason! I just wish it was more accessible in my area, especially when I was going through highschool 😅

[@bootsjacket]

During lockdown I noticed a LOT of people flocked towards their childhood interests/aesthetics. Now that we have grown-up money, we can feed into that as much as we want (i've seen it with kid-core too). It's nice to feel like the princess you never got to be lol

[@mayaleeleng]

That's exactly what I plan on doing once I get a job 💀

[@GH-fb9dh]

People used to shame teenagers and young adults so much for having childish interests and “having to grow up”. I feel this generation is embracing their inner child and that is the way

[@Trippy_Space_Bunny]

I have a pretty healthy Jellycat plush bunny population thanks to the pandemic lol as well as a pink wardrobe.

[@bootsjacket]

@@GH-fb9dh i completely agree.

[@dontmindmeimjustchilling]

@@mayaleeleng I have a job and cant afford anything besides rent and some groceries lmaooo Tbh, I feel like there's way too much focus on the "aesthetics," like you arent less feminine if you can't afford to dress this way.

[@rakoontail]

women cant do anything without criticism. 'be feminine, but not too feminine' or 'be sexy, but not sexual'. these styles to me have NOTHING to do with being childlike (for the most part), theyre just pretty to look at. and even if they did, who cares, it makes people happy and hurts no one

[@JossyL.]

Right, can’t we just let women look like however they want? 🩷🎀👛💖✨

[@Whatsthepoint223]

And who’s gonna tell them, that not all women are gonna want to follow the “be feminine” bs either?

[@re-gal7949]

if it's childlike it DOES cause harm. It only perpetuates the sexualization of infants and normalizes it. Because now we're also allowing adults to feel attracted to childish traits, which is exactly what we're trying to fight against. Not only that, but also creates more confusion. Femininty was never supposed to be related to infantility. But because women have been so reduced to such ''unserious'' ''overly emotional'' ''defenseless'' chraracters as children, both are now associated. The style is cute, but if there's a clear intention to reference infantile behavior, it *is* harmful.

[@luna-gq3wv]

@@re-gal7949 facts.

[@AnaCristina-dv6qu]

@@re-gal7949I think that’s not the problem, infants get sexualice by dressing like adults pushing the idea in little girls that lazes and bows are crappy since pass 4, I think the idea that someone could be turn on by “looking like a child” says more about that person that the ones that are using the clothes. And also, accessories shouldn’t be attached by an age. You should be able to use what makes you happy. Where the hate to the girl clothes begging and putting an age to a piece of clothe begins

[@RCZeta919]

As a former tomboy and not like other girls girl, I'm finally coming into my own in my 30s. Lolita fashion and historybounding are my ways of being aggressively feminine without feeling sexualized and also indulging my love for historical fashion. Long live the crinoline!

[@Grace-ms7un]

Yay me too!!

[@sweetembrace6706]

weird how 'coming into your own' means doing exactly what patriarchy wants from you. also how weird that we demonize 'not like other girls' for actively refusing to participate in gendered expectations.

[@bethanyconboy4481]

Are we the same person?? This is exactly my experience as a former “not like other girls” tomboy who now only wears dresses bc I missed out on it trying so hard to be different 🙃

[@gappy6964]

​@@bethanyconboy4481omg going so many years without wearing dresses or skirts and now they're my go to, so flowey and breezy, I was missing out in my younger yrs 😭

[@NeverLoveNiila]

This! I have been brought up believing that pink and barbie were for the frivolous and shallow, the ones with nothing else to offer, the girly girls who were brainwashed into conformity. And I didn't want to be one of them. Now in my thirties I'm allowing myself to be as girly and feminine as I wish

[@helenaday9247]

This has also reminded me of the extent to which men sexualise ‘girlhood’ and it’s not something we do ourselves. In my late teens and early 20s I looked incredibly innocent and girly, I’m petite with big eyes and long hair and back then my face was still quite chubby making me look really young. I couldn’t leave the house without receiving harassment from much much older men on a near daily basis. I’m fascinated and appalled by this because I’m now 25 and the only major difference in my appearance is that my bone structure has come out making me look more my age. I receive probably just 25% of the harassment I did 5 years ago. It breaks my heart for the girl I was then to think how my girlhood was thwarted and exploited in such a way. I’m enjoying dressing in a girlish way again and perhaps it’s because I no longer fear the attention it might bring me from strange 50 year men as it would have in the past.

[@annjay2581]

Because when I was an actual child, I dressed like a boy and when I was a teenager I dressed like a 30yo divorced lawyer and now that Im in my twenties I finally wanna dress like a girl lmao

[@meowcat712]

😂😂😂 I feel you!!!

[@spacebar9733]

DIVORCED LAWYER LMAO

[@soniatallroth7885]

Same 😭 I dress more casually in my job now than I did in highschool

[@Uncle_Smidge]

And we now have the money for the clothes that many of us were afraid to like, or ask for, as kids.

[@Icecream_soda]

ME TOO 😭

[@aura9773]

I feel targeted right now cuz I dressed more like an adult when i was 14 than i do now at age 20😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@snipping.thorns.]

Same!! But I think it makes sense. I felt like I had to be mature at a younger age so I like dressing more light hearted now bc I finally feel more light hearted 💖

[@GH-fb9dh]

Same. When I was that age I was so sexualized by men and I feel people expected us to act as adults. I guess I’m tryna get my late childhood/early teenagehood back in some way

[@user-gk7vh2ld6y]

True same here btw we're same age

[@heavenjb]

I think you can dress anyway you want I’m an older woman I do what I want!!

[@marinetter.8423]

NAHH FR 😭😭😭

[@rosiv9617]

Cant I just wear cute, lacy, frilly things in peace? I grew up poor, wearing ripped, drabby clothes. Clothes in my style were expensive. I was constantly looked over by the system. I blended into the background too much to ever be noticed. I felt like I wasn't pretty/didn't deserve nice things. So being able to afford a cute style has helped me feel prettier. I even get compliments sometimes. I can wear what I didn't get to as a child and just feel more like myself in general.

[@joice_anne_abonitalla]

i could say i definitely share the same experience with you.

[@marianiemazani4521]

girl same

[@isabelaulthes8995]

i reached my 20's and realized that i "lost" my chance to explore girlish aesthetic because of my fear of being seen as weak or less smart at school =( now im currently obsessed w making hello kitty art

[@vanessaheinrich1996]

Same! I even redid my room all light rosé and I’ve never felt so comfy in my room!

[@yeaesthetics3195]

Same!

[@Nova-rb2gi]

Do you post your art online?

[@christian92827]

same😢 i am a gay guy and bullied and i cant wear hello kitty or barbie as a kid now i am proudly wearing sanrio and barbie printed unisex stuff 😂

[@charlottemegan8645]

for me it’s definitely because being hyper feminine when i was in elementary school was super demonised and you WANTED actively to be a tomboy because otherwise you were teased and bullied for being “too girly” and as a lot of us are getting older we can now recognise the misogyny in that and are learning that there’s no reason to care about what is and isn’t “too girly” and that instead we should just focus on dressing how best suits us and how best makes us happy

[@wheretao6960]

exacto

[@rosemary9661]

Is it just me or is there a less distinct difference in child’s fashion and adult fashion now. I go to a school with age ranges from kindergarten to 12th grade, and most of what the younger kids wear are popular brands that are age universal brands like Nike. The clothes are not really different in style from what an adult might wear. I also find it a bit funny that people are saying bows and lace are exclusive to children fashion when I hardly ever see kids wear them. Most of the clothes I wore as young kid were never frilly and looked like they could be worn by adult with an affinity for puns.

[@MsDecens]

Yeah there are still age based trends but there's not much of a difference in child/teen/adult clothing. It's really about where you are spending 8 hrs of the day. But that is pretty normal in western culture since we've had kids wearing smaller versions of adult clothing for centuries. Your second point was interesting though. Kids really don't wear lace and frills much. It's more like elements of historical dress and anything flamboyant is called childlike because it requires a sense of whimsy and fun. Being taken seriously is associated with a toned down look and men are expected to not put much effort into their appearance. So the opposite gets you a negative reaction. Hence why women are called vapid for enjoying beauty and style.

[@nataliaturner4845]

Yeah stores bring out a lot of those pretty frilly dresses for the Holiday season, like Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years & also Easter, and people will buy them for other special occasions like baptisms or flower girl dresses for weddings, or maybe seasonal family pictures, birthdays & end of school year ceremonies, but I think kids clothes for everyday wear are pretty basic.

[@morganburt2565]

i think that’s why i’m having a hard time with this? i was a kid in the 00’s and i saw no woman dress like i did. i don’t have a positive frame of reference for women wearing these styles besides the ‘lolitas’ i saw on tumblr (go team for stop using that term, but croquette feels just as icky to me). so for me, this IS children fashion and wearing it feels like dressing like a child.

[@Carolina57685]

@@morganburt2565 No one has stopped using Lolita for Lolita fashion. It is NOT associated with the novel and even if it were the novel does NOT defend pedophilia. Lolita fashion was created to combat the oversexualization of women by men. It is inspired in 18th century and 19th century fashion and men criticized it to hell and back. Lolita fashion has nothing to do with the novel and the video does not say that term is no longer used. "Nymphet" was the term mentioned as having been dropped and that is the term used by the pedophile in Lolita to describe young girls he finds attractive. There's debate about where the term Lolita came from but the fashion trend is about DENYING men the ability to sexualize women. That is its purpose.

[@SharonVeeLee]

I think it comes from kids always wanting to be seen as mature while adults want to be seen as younger. We fight to stay at a certain age.

[@emilyroserussell2355]

I also think that the Barbie movie has allowed a lot of women feel more secure and even proud in their femininity and we now see this reflected in the playful-like clothing trends

[@chenillesagoe6348]

That is so true

[@candydemure]

Hitting 30 I find myself wanting to dress like the fashionable teen I never was. It doesn't seem like it should be that much of an issue, it's all just garments that cycle in and out of trends.

[@MrLakers92]

Think critically boo like fr you said you’re close to thirty? Really think.

[@naolucillerandom5280]

@@MrLakers92 Says the person calling random people old hags on the internet...

[@nathalia2448]

I feel like I'm fighting everyday to wear my bows and frilly dresses everyday. Starting to dress for myself and the way I want to

[@hellohell7773]

Omg your profile pic is so cute!!!!

[@Emnms68]

Yesss. Like, I don’t care if I’m overdressed; I want to wear a ball gown!

[@VeronicaLovesYou22]

DO ITTTT ✨ you’re living your life so dress for yourself! Make yourself happy 💖 rooting for you!! I gotta do this too 💅🏻

[@eventhorizon2264]

Same here 💜

[@arashibaka]

saaame litterally flunked a job interview by wearing a skirt not knowing i was expected to wear jeans... (i dont even own a pair lol) - love your profil pic btw!

[@allyrat]

It's been very interesting seeing girly fashion and aesthetics become mainstream as someone who has been wearing Japanese kawaii style and lolita fashion for many years now. Styles that I used to commonly be asked "when will you grow out of it" and "why are you dressing for pedophiles" are currently seen as borderline mainstream. I'm a little nervous as to how my style will be perceived once this girlishness falls back out of the mainstream

[@mushmush4980]

On the bright side, fashion styles like Girly Kei are exploding in the mainstream now. Like lolita, it's mostly about dressing cute and girly for women and not for men, so hopefully it can start influencing mainstream fashion to start exploring women's fashion for the female gaze.

[@giulsomino]

I'm in the same boat! We'll see what happens then. 🥲

[@BC-vj1gm]

it’s always been mainstream lol

[@BC-vj1gm]

@@mushmush4980no it’s not

[@giulsomino]

@@BC-vj1gm I don't know how old you are or where you live, but as far as I'm concerned - no, it's not. Even just 10 years ago it was nearly impossible to find accessible items of jfashion, and people in the west looked at it like it was inconceivable to go out dressed up like that. The globalization of these trends has been incredible in the latest years, but it hasn't always been that way.

[@taliaroses]

Reading these comments is really interesting because I feel like my experience growing up was the opposite of everyone else's. I grew up wearing lots of pink, skirts, and frilly clothes not because I liked them, but because I wanted to fit in with my peers. I remember having to beg my mom to take me to Justice just so that I could dress like how the other girls did, particularly my more feminine friends. I didn't even like the clothes I got. I felt pressured to dress way more feminine than I actually wanted, and was ostracized by both my male and female peers for being more of a tomboy. Now that I'm an adult, I feel so much more freedom in the willingness to choose what I wear and how masculine or feminine I want to present, but the truth is that I will always be more comfortable dressing more masculinely - but other people, even if they don't show it, still expect me to be feminine. I get looks when I shop in the men's section. I've been harassed on the street for wearing men's boots and a men's shirt. I see it on social media too - women who dress masc, or who don't shave, or who don't wear makeup are slammed as "slobs" and "disgusting" or as "pick mes" or "nlogs" by other people just for existing. I feel like we've all forgotten that internalized misogyny =/= not liking being feminine.

[@thatsaweirdbug]

GOD THE LAST LINE OF THIS COMMENT!!! It's so true lmao I left a wall of text on this abt the same thing so this comment was so nice to see.

[@gristen]

exactly. you hit the nail on the head here. misogyny isnt always just disliking feminine things, its also treating women that arent feminine as if theres something wrong with them.

[@redmaple1982]

I cant help but think that most of the self identified "former nlogs" were just girls who preferred fitted jeans + t-shirts instead of dresses....that stye is still "feminine" because it shows off curves and is nowhere near the cut/silhouette that a typical boy would wear. Nowhere are women rewarded for dressing in a "butch" style.

[@Melian07]

I agree, I don't understand disliking typically feminine things being labeled as misogyny. Rather the opposite, coercing women into specific styles of appearance (types of clothing, also expectations about using makeup, removing body hair, using hair dyes because graying hair on women is unacceptable...) is what I see as misogyny. It's not like "femininity" is a default state of women; it's a societal construct and we're expected to spend a lot of time and money in order to conform to it or else there are societal consequences.

[@littlefoxglove276]

yeah, you know, i feel like the people who say "not liking women's fashion is misogynist" are forgetting men designed a lot of the "iconic" women's fashions also, a lot of these comments are very much not my experience either - because if i'm dressing like a little girl it is because i want to evoke that feeling in some way, be it nostalgia or wtf ever. the same way dressing goth makes me feel, well, gothic.

[@m.s3518]

I used to get bullied for wearing ribbons and pigtails which was my signature hairstyle until the age of 15. It’s hilarious when I see girls adopt the aesthetic which is seen as “cool” meanwhile I was the weird one

[@pinkbrando]

Saaaaame all if the weird bully worthy things I did are headlining fashion trends today phhhft.

[@anitadaigbe7913]

no one cares bro. LIKE LMAO. but i agree with everyone that saying hyperfemininity shouldn’t be linked to kids or sex

[@justforfunsaes]

Been there with the pearled cat ear headbands and then all of a sudden cat ear headbands were in 🙄

[@chenillesagoe6348]

@bidishadas-wj4wk Yeah I know right, I find it weird as well... take Jojo Siwa for example, she wore GIANT bows 🎀 for 12 or 13 up to 17 years of age when she turned 18 she gave them up because she thinks its time to grow up. But people like Cybr.grl, Melanie Martinez, Aliyah Interlude and other alt femme fashion enthusiast still continue to wear bright colourful styles. Just when we thought she was cray-cray the Kidcore aesthetic is born in the 2020s (I’m annoyed that aesthetic fashion came out later in life....why couldn’t it be in 2018 or 2016)

[@PastelBlackBunny]

You were a trendsetter is all! :)

[@grlfromvenus]

I feel like society as a whole assumes adults have to act/dress/be a certain way but the thing I’ve loved about adulthood is rediscovering my childhood interests and having the money to indulge myself with things I couldn’t have before. Learning to love my femininity again has been incredible.

[@dotdotdotdotdotdotdottod]

i think people are mad that women now realise that youth dosent stop at 19.....like men be mad that they can no longer manipulate ypung women into cohoarsing early

[@emmaplover3228]

Learning to love my femininity too has been so joyful for me 💞

[@alexisb3829]

I 100% agree

[@dotdotdotdotdotdotdottod]

@@StarrySkies9888 thats great for you!! like it aslonjust makes more sense that after your teens you would be abel to afford what you want^^

[@chenillesagoe6348]

Aww 💕 that’s that you are still interested in childlike things. In Japanese it is totally the opposite to the western world. Even teenagers act super adult when I was in secondary school (most of them). But right now in college their are people who are passionate about childlike things just like me.

[@soulsynthesissubject]

When I think of the things I didn’t wear as a girl for fear of being objectified it makes me sad. So as an adult women I have given myself permission to purchase and sport these duds sporadically to the confusion of all who witness. And that’s okay, it’s my right as a former tomboy.

[@user-gk7vh2ld6y]

Yeah same

[@justinamoniz]

This is definitely part of it for me too. I grew up in a conservative church, so the pressure to be modest and not draw attention to yourself was big. Wearing whatever the heck I want now, especially "girly" things is a direct push back on that for me.

[@slaymaster01]

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

[@mesCheerios]

omg this is a good point. The gross men start appearing around age 12. Some teenagers are like fck it and wear what they want but others like myself started trying to make myself wat i perceived as unattractive to men.

[@jessicaknox2266]

I honestly think at least for me it has more to do with how at a young age I was told that being girly or feminine was bad, and that being a tomboy meant that I was smart and had a strong will. even though as a young girl, I was attracted to frills and lace in pink I rejected that notion and am just now realizing that it’s OK to be girly and like pink. i’m choosing to embrace it now, because I couldn’t embrace it, then without being bullied.

[@laer.393]

this! i remember loving girly and glitzy things as a child but i already had enough obscure interests that people made fun of me for so i opted for tomboy-ing. it just never worked out though; although i enjoyed some “boy-ish” interests like video gaming and science, i also loved fashion, sewing, and crochet. i felt most comfortable wearing skirts and dresses but longed to be a “cool girl” or “baddie” that had a more easygoing, sporty yet effortless vibe. i’ve finally embraced the fact that i’m girly AF: I love pinks and purples, frills, sparkle and glamour, all things delicate and feminine coded. the only stereotypical girly interest i don’t partake in is nails and makeup because i can’t bring myself to spend money on it and i have a lot of hands on interests that wouldn’t match well with long delicate nails lol.

[@racheljackson3182]

I was told growing up that when I’m an adult I can wear what I want. Now that I’m an adult society says what I want to wear is not “age appropriate” and I have to be confined to more serious, conservative colorless life - EFF THAT im grown and i want to look like the adult I always wanted to be! And if that is the spawn of a spice girl, a soul train dancer, Diana Ross, TLC, and Lizzie McGuire so be it 💅🏿 who gon check me boo? Dope and informative video as always Mina 💕💕💕💕💕Thank youuuuu

[@chenillesagoe6348]

You go GIRL 💄💋💅🏾👗👑🦋✨

[@Yaya.mp3]

In french « coquette » could be use to signify that you are taking care of yourself, being « feminine » BUT it could be use (and I do) to describe your grandma still wanting to apply some make up, or dress a chic-old way By definition saying (in France) « she’s coquette » means that you are feminine for yourself, no matter your age

[@lewlavabra6811]

exactly what i thought ! "coquette" in french doesn't have the 'flirty' connotation that you see a lot on social media today. it just means that you like dressing up and looking good, putting effort/thought in your outfits and overall taking care of your appearance.

[@saragreenfire4515]

Heck, it's an adjective that can be used both for men and women! ''Coquet'' and ''Coquette''. It's not even inherently feminine lol

[@Yaya.mp3]

@@saragreenfire4515 that’s what I said later, in response of an other comment

[@Ekphora_]

A bit surprised by those comments since coquette does have a seductive/flirty connotation in French as well, although dated maybe. It is used in this sense in most 19th and early 20th centure French literarure. I would argue it still carries this meaning today as I remember older women calling me « coquette » as a teenager, and it was clearly an invitation to tone it down because of men lol (with all innuendoes). That was in the second half of the 2000s.

[@siofraweef]

can we just appreciate how gorgeous minas outfit is today ??

[@rayyrexx08]

Yes yes

[@GH-fb9dh]

A cottage core fairy’s dream

[@champagneproblemz]

giving caroline american girl realness

[@emilyrln]

Oh my god yessssssss!!!!

[@ariesfairy4444]

@@champagneproblemzyesss omg🥺

[@SeokjinShizun]

I'm asian and until I flew into the western side of the internet I never knew that Lolita fashion was 'problematic' when I was young like 11/12 my grandma had this Western tailoring book It was an old book idk which period clothing it had but it had like older women in beautiful frills gowns and beautiful girly gowns I always wanted to wear it lol even now I still do lol here no one associates "lolita' fashion to young girls we more see it as western olden fashion if that makes sense. so I was shocked when I discovered the controversy these outfits had. same with bows we use bows in a lot of formal event outfits here

[@mushmush4980]

Luckily everyone in the west that bothers to research lolita a little bit understands that it's not about the book and it's just victorian fashion. We call it EGL (Elegant Gothic Lolita) to remove association from the word.

[@CatGirlPeach]

I am unsure if there was a different style named Lolita, but I wanted to comment and inform just incase, the Japanese street fashion Lolita and coquette are different things!!! "Lolita fashion is a subculture from Japan that is highly influenced by Victorian clothing and styles from the Rococo period. A very distinctive property of Lolita fashion is the aesthetic of cuteness. " Lolita is distinguished by the shape and length of it's skirts and its silhouette. Japanese Lolita Fashion, was born from the desire and goal to reclaim femineity and dress away from the male gaze. it is also in no way related to the book, western Lolita's do not know why the name was chosen and it's kind of a long running mystery LOL

[@yb5362]

Yes there was a different style popular on tumblr, that was indeed referring to a book and to lana del rey songs. I see a lot of comments about Japanese lolita fashion but I’m pretty sure she’s referring to the other one, that had exactly the same look as coquette aesthetic popular on tiktok nowadays, except it was more sexualized (the lana del rey born to die influence)

[@CatGirlPeach]

Thank you so much for this information!! I didn't even know this substyle existed, but that's disgusting my goodness. I'm glad there's now Coquette, which has similar aesthetics but is not revolting in glorifying that book/movie LOL@@yb5362

[@estelleshing8608]

I’m obsessed with this aesthetic because when I was growing up, the “not like other girls” thing was huge and even though I wanted to dress in pink and lace, I opted for billabong basketball shorts and tank tops because it made me seem more “easygoing”. People saying this aesthetic is self infantilising and hyper sexuality are really just projecting their own fantasies imo 😅 I wear bows because it makes me feel pretty and I’m doing what I wanted and didn’t do when I was younger. MAKES ME HAPPY.

[@KarolYuuki]

Exactly! When I was in high school I was a not like other girls girl. It was only in my twenties that I realised it's okay to be feminine and like girly things. I'm now wearing rainbow shirts, lots of bows and frills, and even pink (!). I feel cute and I feel free.

[@thesealky6445]

I know I was listening to the way those journalists and professors talked about women 'infantilizing themselves' and was like 'you all won't let anyone have fun!' I personally like more gothic and darker stuff but I love all this cute girly stuff for other girls because its super fun and colorful like a magical girl show

[@Jo-ds3xv]

This 💯I can’t help but shudder in horror at the fact that people sexualize it and then proceed to associate it with little girls rather than femininity🤢

[@Jo-ds3xv]

@@KarolYuukisame! I’ve started wearing bows and dresses. I haven’t felt so myself and happy in a long time

[@definetlynotkitty]

same ! i am a lesbian and i was for a long time trying to be more " masc " because every other queer girl i saw on media was masc, the coquette aesthetic made me claim back my own identity as a person and not a label through femininity, ITS FUN AND GIRLY AND I LOVE IT

[@wanderingspark]

I wore Japanese lolita fashion during my 20s and early 30s. Part of it for me was just personal aesthetic preference. I have liked Victorian fashion elements like ruffles and lace since I teen, probably because my mom had a book of Victorian fashion plates. I also liked that it was a rejection of cultural fashion norms. When I was a teenager, fashion magazines were all "how to hide the flaws we're telling you you have, and make yourself look attractive to other people." Lolita fashion, on the other hand, was "wear what makes you happy." I also liked that lolita was a way to be feminine and pretty without catering to the male gaze. The one part of my childhood I might have been trying to recapture by dressing in lolita was being able to go out in public without unwanted attention from men.

[@tehrinny7031]

I'm 41 and I wear lolita (and sweet lolita as well). When I'm not wearing it, I will wear bright and colorful but comfortable clothing. I try to support smaller indie brands as much as possible in my everyday clothing choices. I've started designing my own clothing as well, and I wear my own stuff often. What do most women my age wear? We're surrounded by fast fashion and constantly changing trends. I don't want to contribute to this. I don't want to pay for overpriced clothing made in sweat shops, only for me to not get any enjoyment or feel any connection when wearing it. I feel like once you hit 40, there are certian expectations of what womem should look like. This is when we tend to "fade" into the background as mother, wife, or career woman. We are considered undesireable at this point. Honestly, I feel like I'm entering into the best time of my life, and I am happier than I ever was in my teens and twenties. Why dress like a depressed frumpy everybody when I'm finally able to step into who I am? Screw that. Fashion is a form of self-expression, and life is too short to wear boring clothes. I think that boldness is something highly associated with youth, and that's why it's so damn offputting to society (men) when someone older embraces it.

[@chenillesagoe6348]

@tehrinny7031 Agreed, agreed and agreed When I was 13 I was interested in Lolita Fashion but now (In late teens) I’m interested in Kawaii Fashion (I still interested in Lolita Fashion-mostly Sweet casual Lolita or anything toned-down

[@yeaesthetics3195]

Yes i wear lolita too 😁 lolita fashion is female gaze, it's for the girls, the boys re not invited!

[@emfgull]

Back in the 2000s, I think I gravitated towards lolita Japanese street fashion because it was a the polar of the plain styles (clothing, interior design ect) I saw in my every day life. It was fantasy, it was creative. To me, "girly" clothing details like lace or ruffles are less about girly and more about extravagance.

[@yeehawsaint4087]

I have been obsessed with Lolita fashion since my sophomore year of highschool, and now that I am 25 years old and trying it for the first time, I’ve been met with some people trying to tell me that I am “dressing like a little girl” and that I am too old for it. What? Men dress the exact same from birth to death-trust me I know, I’m a preschool teacher-so why don’t they get shamed for “dressing like a little boy”? Women are expected to dress either sexy or frumpy by a certain age. God forbid you like dresses, or bows, or the color pink past the age of 24. It reads as misogyny to me, and I am so frustrated by the fact that I can’t dress how I want. If poofy skirts and bows in my hair make me happy, who am I hurting?

[@cozy_amble]

I'm not sure if it was just me, but I feel like all this girl talk reminds me of all the 90's and early 2000's ads/quotes from teachers/words from role models about how "Girls can do anything" is kind of stuck in my brain. And I think it's part of the reason I still relate to "girl" things even though I am in my 30's - girl is a term that means I am still malleable and I still have potential to be anything. And I am not ready to give my potential up.

[@lilrinna]

Yessss girl power! ❤️

[@missm-ky2od]

Yess! I love this! 😊

[@kitty_visionary_meow]

I buy a lot of items one might call "girlish" not because I want to be a little girl, but because I've come to love things that are soft and gentle and colors that are girly and pastel. Hated them in high school, avoided them in college, and then BLAM! But it's not because I want to be "a little girl." I think it's because I spent all of my life subconsciously hating those things because it was understood that to be a little girl or even a teenage girl was to not be taken seriously. To be girlish was to be both a fetishized object of the unwanted male gaze and perpetually mocked at the same time for daring to be childish. I think I lean into girlishness now because I actually like it. Also, because I'm an adult who can buy what I want and dress how I want and there's power in that. I think it's the truth for a lot of us these days. Getting to like the things we do and dress the way we couldn't then because of some perceived lack of freedom that we now realize isn't the case.

[@funfettirapunzel]

Because I’ve dressed like this forever and I still love it 💕 I never went through that “rejecting femininity and girlhood” phase. I have never NOT loved pink, sparkles, lace, and puffy dresses! I love that other girls are coming back to their girlhoods and embracing the femininity that so many of us were encouraged to reject. 💕💕💕

[@emmyandboo]

I'm 34 and currently wearing a cute sundress with puffy sleeves and an eyelet lace collar on it - I've gotten so many compliments on this dress - it's comfy, easy to put on and keeps me cool in the heat, and I still feel like I'm wearing something feminine and cute

[@MicahRaburn]

The reason people stopped calling Coquette Lolita is because Lolita is the name of a Japanese subculture. Lolita fashion is characterized by wearing petticoat or crinoline skirts with wigs and headgear like bonnets and bows. It's mainly inspired by Rococo and Victorion fashions and was created as a way for women to dress girly without getting unwanted male attention. The term Lolita isn't associated with the book in Japan. It's usually refencing things that are cutesy. Great video!

[@chichichichichichiOwO]

Yeah I'll forever call it Lolita, plus most people never even heard of the book. I've only heard about it by people who hate it yet shout out how Lolita fashion is named based off the book...which...is incorrect.

[@sarahm5936]

@@chichichichichichiOwO ....It's called Lolita because of the book. It's one of the most famous books ever written. Just because you hadn't heard of the book, doesn't change the origins.

[@frankendress7795]

@@sarahm5936 are you a lolita?

[@NoNameHereOrThere]

No it wasn't, we know this because when the movie came out in Japan in the 90s many brands at the time distanced themselves from it, some even changing their name and in the 2000s they took it back after a popular Lolita wearing Visual Kei artist popularized the term again. There is a reason why both have the name and that is because the name was associated with cuteness and youth, so Lolita fashion plays that association straight as well as likely making a pun on ''dolly fashion'' since Lolita is a nickname of Dolores. Nabokov plays the name ironically. Lolita was created in the late 70s in Japan to combat fashion that was starting to get more sexualized and thus it is an anti-male gaze fashion that in it's dresscode has rules like covering shoulders or knees. It may have been a famous book, but it definitely wasn't something on the reading list of teenage japanese girls in the 70s.@@sarahm5936

[@babighoul7213]

It is still called Lolita til this day it’s just super uncommon.

[@Qtopian]

This is my favorite style! Being “feminine” has never been out of style and as you said bows and lace has been worn by adult women for centuries. I hate when some people say girly styles like lace, light pink, bows etc will go out of style because they have always been in style. It has never been about infantilization. It is about liking “feminine” things as a an adult women/ adult girl and never ever want to be a little girl. And these things shouldnt even be tied to femininity or masculinity as any gender should be able to wear these things without ridicule.

[@juliabalde]

Me, a 34 years old woman eating dinner alone at my kitchen watching this vídeo suddenly describe the exact situation I’m living as a sad woman dinner… it made me laugh a lot 😂 Excellent as always Mina!!

[@sofiabravo1994]

I’m an almost 29 year old woman and my dinners are always filled with hustle and bustle with my little girls and husband but the days where I eat girl dinners Aka cheese crackers meats and yogurt I’m alone enjoying a little peace and quiet. I didn’t like the example of an old tired woman eating dinner alone, in my household it’s a slice of freedom, before kids and a husband I enjoyed solitude!❤

[@sofiagadbois292]

Personally the style resonates with me because obviously it’s cute but also when I was a kid my parents always bought clothes for me or got it second hand so I never got to pick my own clothes. Now that I can ig suppose I inspire myself by what I wanted to wear back then or what i imagined i would wear as a young adult.

[@shine___]

I relate to your comment so much ❤

[@studious_nonchalance]

Gen X girl here. 51 and F A T.... I am alllll for it. Last year I returned to wearing Doc Martens and have been enjoying fluffy, ruffled maxi dresses and making 20s style one hour dresses to wear. Just leaning into the Toddlercore and dressing to please myself. It's joyful clothing. I tend to get positive reactions. And anyone who has a problem with it can stay salty and die mad about it. I'll just be wearing toadstools tights and empire waistline dresses with platform Docs, having a great deal of fun with fashion. If you aren't familiar with the Advanced Style blog, I highly recommend it, btw. 🎉

[@arareanddifferenttune3130]

Sounds like I’d love your sense of fashion. I am all about an empire waisted dress with docs 😊❤

[@maralantschner]

haven’t watched yet, but as a babydoll dress and pastel colour girly i can already tell you, i do it to heal:)

[@angeleva999]

REAL

[@v_bunny]

same, it’s very healing creating a better childhood that was robbed of me back then

[@Crabernacker]

Live your pastel girly dream!

[@Desdemonakaylose]

the thing about girly hyper-youthful fashion is that in many cases men find it /repulsive/. And that's part of the appeal, I think. To be feminine in a way that denies comfortable consumption.

[@user-hq2sg9hl6l]

dressing up coquette as a statement, to see people's reaction when they meet you and realize you're not a dumb little girl but a smart, educated individual, to make others question why they infantilized (maybe even sexualized) you

[@YumeraChauque]

Yes I like to see people breaking estereotypes!

[@Emnms68]

I love frilly lacy swishy things because they make me feel like a princess; not because they make me feel like a kid. Fashion is self expression, and trying to ascribe some kind of meaning to it that one assumes the wearer intends is kinda fruitless because it’s personal to each person.

[@YoursTrulyMcGouly]

But where does that need of being a princess come from? 🤔

[@wowwow3922]

girlhood was interrupted for most of us by our periods, giving us extra responsibility as children, debilitating us for much of the time. Now I am older, and have gained experience and understanding in looking after myself when I am on my period, I feel like I missed out on a lot compared to my brothers or cousins!! Now I realise girlhood is a continual, ever evolving experience, which is truly never ceases, it was just temporarily interrupted. Girlhood is overcoming the stigma of being a girl: periods, pain, being childish, being sensitive, being too masculine, or too feminine, and just exisiting!! As girls we have done this our entire lives.

[@wendyful]

As a thirty-year-old woman, I feel sympathy for women / girls in their twenties, even though I was there just one year ago. I understand that it can feel like that's the moment, and the only time you're going to feel "young." But for all of you out there who may panic at the thought of aging and be terrified by the fact that everything is going to change in 5 to 10 years, it's okay to feel that way. However, know in your core that you really have nothing to worry about, haha. The only thing that changes when entering your thirties is that you know yourself better, and that is truly amazing. I can't stress that enough. Personally, the older I get, the more beautiful and optimistic I feel, which ironically is what some people associate with youth. Now I know what things are genuinely important and what things are not the end of the world. The power of knowing yourself and what you can do, and what you can overcome, feels almost magical at times. I know we've all heard this before, and it may have seemed like older people making the best of getting old, but what do you know? It's just true.

[@MissJodles]

So I started dressing extremely girly, pastel and colourful when I was about 19/20, during a year of being single and starting university after an abusive and violent relationship with an older man when I was 18. Before then, I wore mostly black and muted colours, tight and short silhouettes, stockings, etc. Things men would see as hot, alternative and sexy. I had spent months trying to please this older man who only saw me as a sexual object. In late 2016, several months after the end of that relationship, I discovered the brand Lazy Oaf for the first time, and practically injected my life with pinks and pastels. I felt like I was truly dressing for me, and reclaiming the fun and carefree moments of my childhood. The brand sells slightly more streetwear clothing nowadays, but in the late 2010s it was truly the pinnacle of colourful and unique designs. I came to be known at university for my pastel and pink wardrobe, and that sense of identity made me so happy and comfortable. I bought my first Selkie dress in 2020 after seeing their original Pink Puff dress online and knowing it was so perfect for me I had to save up all my money for it. I felt like an absolute princess wearing it, and I still do to this day. The thing about a lot of these girly and ‘childish’ clothes is that… men don’t like them! Women do! I’ve never really had a man say he thinks my Selkie dresses are hot, but I’ve had so many women tell me I look beautiful. And that’s truly what brings me more joy dressing the way I do!

[@gwynethdolen3275]

To me this is about becoming the woman I wanted to be as a little girl. I was always attracted to characters like Sharpay Evens, the girls in the Winx Club, Bratz dolls, and Barbies, mainly just because of how fashionable they were. My family was kind of poor for a good chunk of my life, and I was kind of an ugly duckling (or so I thought, in reality I was just a chubby little girl who hadn't hit puberty) so I think subconsciously I try to live my childhood dreams of being a cool fashionista lol.

[@GH-fb9dh]

Me too. Hope your fashionista dreams is real now 🎀💕

[@chenillesagoe6348]

I love Winx Club their outfits were fashionable and I also love Kawaii fashion.... I can’t wait to watch the Winx reboot 🧚🏾‍♀️✨🌸

[@manons6984]

Any other French native speaker that never thought of coquette as flirty? To me it means actively caring and acting on looking good, specifically your feminine side. My grandma was coquette, she wouldn't go out unless well put together with lipstick and perfumes. But not flirty. 😅😅

[@elizabethduplat5998]

Not a native speaker, but have lived here +13 years. I think coquette is one of those many FR words that subtly changed meaning when it moved into EN. Still related, but not exactly interchangable now. 😊 It's why when people here called my young daughter a coquette, I had a negative reaction...I had to "put on my French hat" to understand the situation in it's proper cultural context.

[@arareanddifferenttune3130]

I saw another comment from a native French speaker that said something similar, they mentioned their grandmother as well 😊

[@RosaGlee]

Yes ! For me it means wanting to be admired and enjoying pretty clothes and make-up, nothing sexual. But I've looked it up and apparently the word has been used in a slightly different meaning by the English

[@saragreenfire4515]

Same! I was very surprise by the definition that was given here.

[@sarahrean7174]

Same I am French and coquette doesn't mean flirty at all

[@Skip-Towne]

"No one wants to eat woman dinner" god that quote made me laugh 😂 but in all seriousness, I'd imagine "woman dinner" (if it ever became an 'aesthetic') would be cooking a sumptuous feast with your friends and family. This has nothing to do with the video, just something i imagined if we saw the phrase in a positive light. It reminds me of when my family would gather for dinner and everyone helps out, but the matriarch is the one calling the shots haha.

[@laer.393]

woman dinner could be nice if it’s more of a ~have wine and a fantastic meal with girlfriends~ sort of thing😂. Jokes aside, i think womanhood in general takes on a more lighthearted image when you detach it from the idea that you’re supposed to be a miserable and overworked wife and mother, begrudgingly forced into that life without any other option. I think as we’ve begun to expand the possibilities of womanhood to prioritize healthy relationships, fulfilling life experiences, and the choice of whether or not you actually want to start a family, it’s becoming a more exciting and less depressing image.

[@sofiabravo1994]

@@laer.393 it’s weird that you implied that society has made the image of motherhood and being a wife as drabbed depressing I think it’s because we’ve been told that by feminism that it is a dead end sort of lifestyle and I think that’s very unfair for girls and women,coming from girl that grew up in a very broken family firsthand! I knew that I wanted something better and becoming a mom and a wife could be something that wonderful and it should be it shouldn’t be toxic and abusive, and all of this stuff that leads to broken adults if that makes sense. We should have an unbiased way of raising our daughters those who become mothers. Just because I had a horrible upbringing in many ways it doesn’t mean marriage and parenthood is bad. I think we can become stagnant if we demonize these things…kids or no kids it’s not something to compare because they’re completely different lifestyles..

[@laer.393]

@@sofiabravo1994 you should read to understand rather than to respond. nowhere did i imply motherhood or marriage is inherently bad, but that forcing women into it whether they want to or not IS. if a woman wants to be a mother and wife for her future that’s a wonderful thing! I myself want to be a wife (not so much mother but, that’s personal). My description was clearly very open ended and was meant to explain that womanhood takes on a less depressing image when there is freedom associated with it. womanhood should be exciting and represent freedom to do whatever you want in your adult life rather than being forced into anything you don’t want to do. i don’t know why you decided to attack me but the reality is even if you want to be a wife and mother, you probably still don’t want to be an afterthought in your family’s life! no matter how much you want to be a wife and mother you probably don’t want to be eating scraps and leftovers after your husband and kids have picked over the food you spent time making! people love to push a narrative onto people they don’t know. you’d be less miserable if you stopped assuming all women believe in leftist girlboss ideology🤷🏾‍♀️.

[@sofiabravo1994]

@@laer.393I eat with my family the majority of the time I cherish those moments of scraps or whatever I put together because I’m enjoying solitude my own thoughts…it’s not depressing one day I’ll be alone and will look back with fondness.

[@laer.393]

@@sofiabravo1994 that’s nice you enjoy eating alone after your family eats the food you worked hard to make but many women find that depressing, myself included. i’d rather eat with my family and see them enjoy the food i spent time making. to each their own!

[@bethanybrookes8479]

I remember reading somewhere that the lolita style and the kawaii aesthetic, grew in popularity in japan as the teenage girls who engaged in it were being pushed into marriage by their elders. And they were told that wearing these styles would make finding a husband harder as it wasn't attractive to be childish and cute. So they dressed as such.

[@chenillesagoe6348]

That is so true I read a couple of Kawaii and Lolita article

[@Kardinaalilintu]

As someone, who wears lolita fashion (not that nymphete stuff, the frilly japanese street fashion that has its roots in punk and goth styles, with roccocoo, 50's and victorian style influence) almost daily, I feel like I have good grasp on why one would choose to wear super lacy, bowy, pastelly, flowery, vampiric, delicate fashion like this with a myriad of substyles to choose from; it's fun. It's interesting for the eye it's pleasing to your brain. Personally I wear it due to the high coverage rate of the clothes, that hides my bodyshape well and because it's comfortable, unlike jeans or straight pants (I do still fancy pumpkin shorts). I also really love all the gorgeus details, the amount of hem and quality fabrics, aspect of making pieces by yourself and the historical influence in the clothes. It might be hyper feminine and "girlish" but it keeps me as a biological person separate from my clothed output. I feel safer and more confident in myself. Origins of this fashion are also rather feminist, since via dressing loud and young women outwardly refused the expected houswife role where you'd just become a part of your husbands household and child rearer. They outwardly expressed that they'd make their own destiny, thank you very much. For some it still was motherhood and houswife life but for others it was fashion icon. The point was to have the choice. Opposite of the assumption most make; this is actually non gendered fashion. Even if the clothes themselves often read girly to the general public, the wearer can be of any gender. Which is one more of the reasons why I love it so much; my gender isn't the main point. Sure, I might be preseved as "girly" but my gender or sex aren't at the forefront of the observers mind. I'm first "wierd", "different", "lovely", "cool", "awful", "beautyful", "insane", before I am my assumed gender. It's freeing. About a little less loud fashio choices, like just bows or frill details; it might not have a deeper meaning...it's just fun and feels good, hurts nobody. Nothing else is needed. People who so intently point out the girlyness and childishness are reflecting their own narrow view on these items, not necessarily grasping the point. And sure, there are also those who want to reclaim their childhood dreams now that they can make the choice and have the money to do so. Nothing wrong with that either..... it's so multifauceted, why an induvidual would chooce to wear a bow in their hair that it's pointless to seek for just one answer (like the video clearly points out).

[@cherrycolouredx]

i wear lolita fashion as well (though not a daily basis, as i wear a uniform for work and am generally too exhausted to dress up when i go out to do errands), and i think you really summed up why it attracts so many ppl. i love being able to look like a fairy tale princess or a magical girl irl, as its such an escape from my boring daily life. i can be the person i want to be, not tied down by the expectations of society or my workplace. i never really think about it as childish, but as girly fantasy.

[@SailorMoon-in-Cancer]

It’s funny how concerned the haters act as if there’s an objective reason why all young women must abandon their “childish” tastes and suddenly fall in love with “adult” colors like black, brown and dark navy, otherwise some psychological disorder must be in play. I had a huge breakthrough in my journey of self-love and self-acceptance once I realized I never stopped loving pastel colors, lace, frills, puff sleeves, voluminous skirts, hair bows, butterfly clips, etc. One good thing that social media did for me was showing me through other young women that I’m “allowed” to dress in what actually makes me happy. Now I have a small collection of items that makes me laugh, twirl and dance whenever I put them on. How many of those “healthy adults” can say that about their wardrobe? The “adult” clothes usually look good only in relation to the human body, meaning they expose or conceal the right things, but “girly” clothes look pretty on their own. I can’t go back to those times of blissful unawareness of my body, but I can get in my child self’s mindset of “if I wear something beautiful = I’m beautiful,” and that’s really healing. As a side note, a lot depends on availability. Little me would kill for my pastel rollerblades and phone case with kitties in pink ribbons, but those things simply weren’t made back in the day. Ironically, it’s only now when I’m an “adult” that I have an opportunity to fully indulge in my “childish” tastes 😋

[@sxmvp]

Not to mention this notion of "adult" colours being dull and boring neutrals is a very western and modern one (and rooted in classism/racism to an extend). Just look at a lot of African countries, their clothing is often very colorful, no matter the age or even the sex. Hell, even the traditional clothing of western countries is mostly colorful. Honestly there's so much to unravel about our current idea of "adulthood" and why it's unnecessarily depressing and ridiculous in general, and in a way it's fascinating how just the fashion already says a lot about it.

[@Nirrini]

I went into H&M the other day and my god - the women’s section was depressing as hell. Black, grey, navy UGH. This is why I am grateful to have 1 boutique in my area where the clothes look like they came from Japan. It’s a super trendy store and affordable as well. Pastels all the way 😍 P.S. I own nothing grey or navy. And I have 1 black satin skirt, that’s it 😅

[@augusto7681]

​@@NirriniI think it steam from the fact a lot of people dont know what color look good on them. Black, grey, navy are culturally considered neutrals that goes withe everything so most people buy cloths in these colors. So they fabricate new clothes in these colors that already sell well.

[@recon441]

Definitely claiming a lost childhood and raging against the creeping existential crisis of aging for me. I've always loved bright colors and patterns and short skirts and dresses 😂 being over 30 isn't going to stop me!

[@justiner4151]

I work in a male-dominated field (IT) in a leadership and customer-facing role. Dressing more femininely helps me assume the fact that I’m a femme person and take pride in the work that I do, which for me is the opposite of being a “not like the other girls” girl who’s trying to fit in. I’m in my role because I am who I am, long hair, frills, pastel colours and all, and I have the same qualities whether I try to blend in or not. To me it feels like I’m resisting the temptation of erasing this part of my identity to “look” more professional-if “more professional” is more gender neutral/masculine-leaning, it’s not me.

[@pixi111]

yesss❤ and we dont need to be more masculine in order to fit

[@nea4113]

I've always loved cute decor, pastels, soft materials, flowy dresses and skirt, glitter, bows and other stereotypically feminine things. I've often been called childish for it or been told "when will you grow out of it?" which is so annoying when it's who I am, it has nothing to do with children or childhood. I hate that things as simple as colors or the shape/style of a dress for example is connected to children only and are "forbidden" once you hit a certain age.

[@yumeironeko]

THIS! Liking a style has little to do with what age you are and you don't necessarily stop liking something just because time passes. And just because others may associate a style with something (childhood or whatever) doesn't mean that you do. Other people who criticize fashion choices and personal expression based on "societal norms" have no idea what those fashions mean to you or why you wear them. And they might not care tbh. They just want you to conform and put you in a box because "normal" = good/healthy/whatever positive things to them.

[@hannahshimomotosim2338]

Same! I love to be cute and girl ❤. I would even go as far as to say feminine culture is so rich that I’m happy that I’m a girl.

[@noelletakesthesky3977]

I just wear what I like and don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. I’ve had loads of compliments on the dresses and stuff that I wear, but even if I didn’t…so what? It’s stuff I like, so I wear it. Right now, I think that we’re seeing more and more people feeling comfortable wearing the pretty things they’re “too old” to wear.

[@noelletakesthesky3977]

​ @clashwithwords If we dress how we want to be perceived, then it shouldn’t matter. Like I like to wear a lot of glitter. If people want to perceive me as childlike or immature for that, I don’t care. My spirit IS childlike, and all maturity is is knowing when and how to be serious, and when and how to loosen up and go with the flow and laugh and have fun, and if I’m wearing glitter, it’s probably that time to just have fun. Some people may not like this, but that’s okay. If they want to be uptight lumps on a log with sticks up their asses, that’s their choice. My choice is to enjoy life as much as I can and like like the flash of a sparkle, and that reflects on the outside. How you were dressed the other day, which you saw as toned down, was still fun to someone and you probably brightened their day if they thought so enough to tell you. We smile when our days are happy. I think we all notice how so many people no longer smile. Well, when the way we present ourselves reflects who we are AND make someone smile, that’s a double-win. We were the light just by not hiding who we are. We were a momentary connection that brought joy with our mere existence. That’s pretty powerful, actually. Even being a toned-down you made someone smile, and all you did is show a bit of who you are and someone else perceived that. If you’re a goth at heart, a punk at heart, a child like me who loves sparkle, whatever-show that to the world and let them perceive it. If you have a hobby you love, and wear things that reflect like, people will perceive that about you too, and that’s awesome. It’s always fun to see someone else whose chosen clothing or accessories reflects a shared interest. It helps make the world feel more interconnected. I love to fly planes, and when I see someone with pilot wings, I know they’ve got an interest in aviation, and even if for just a passing moment, there’s a chance to connect with a stranger. Even if there’s not time to compliment them, there’s still that moment of knowing there’s something in common with someone in passing. As long as who you are isn’t a Nazi, or that person who likes to wear white to other people’s weddings, then wear what makes you smile since it will make others smile. Oh! Since I’m nerdy and silly, when a friend had an ostomy dropped (no one enjoys those, so having her ileostomy reversed was a great thing), I went to visit her in recovery. I dressed as Darth Vader, and you should have seen the nurses following and giggling, and when I reached my friend, I did my best Vader impressions…”I find you lack of stoma…distuuuuurbiiiiing.” She cursed me for how much she laughed, then said she needed that. (She was going to be spending Christmas in the hospital recovering.) Being outwardly us brightens the world. There’s enough dark in this world. When you can be the light just by being you, then be you and be proud to let others see it and perceive it.

[@Acid_Lace]

Thumbs up for the best comment. I think lolita, mori, and historical fashions are beautiful so that's how I have myself look. This pontification from outside sources is stupid. A whimsy-hating person with mainstream aesthetic isn't going to look at this the same as someone to whom these aesthetics appeals. No matter how good faith they present themselves, they really just want to reinforce presuppositions. It's apparent even in these threads. Somebody will have a kneejerk reaction about "p3do male-gaze something something whatseehoozits" and REFUSE to hear anything different. Then someone comments that wears the shit. But instead of listening to 1st hand accounts they'd rather concoct a idiotic web of deceit and perversion to feel right. I don't even discuss alternative fashion with non-alts anymore because of the willful ignorance. At best the conversation is an awkward grind. I can't control what other people think, if someone wants to be stupid on purpose that's on them. I'm not going to keep myself from doing what I like because some buffoon on the internet.

[@ph5.484]

Personally, I like the defiance of the expectation that you have to dress a certain way to be an adult. It feels like there's an expectation that when you grow up, you have to leave the things you love behind to join the "world of adults" - think people being shamed for nerdy hobbies, women over the age of 20(!) in fandom being told to "go file their taxes", having to dress 'normally' to go to work. Why shouldn't adulthood be fun and frilly and bright and indulgent? If ageing means that you're supposed to leave your hobbies and fashion behind, I'm not surprised that people would fear it.

[@sxmvp]

I'll be honest, when I saw the title of the video I was preparing myself to become defensive because I love a lot of clothing/styling that is often considered "childish" (pink, bows, lace, pigtails, ...) and am tired of it being labelled as "childish" when to me it's simply pleasant to look at and feminine and there's nothing really INHERENTLY childish about it. It's also the style that I find suits me the best, so I feel way more comfortable and confident in it and not in any way weak or helpless. I'm sick of being told I'm infantilizing MYSELF when it's just societies view on it because I personally am definitely not trying to be seen as a child and people who know me don't look at me that way either. It's actually sick that I can't even dress in what I simply think is pretty without being accused of trying to pander to p€d0philes (like WTF even?). I'm pleasantly surprised to see the general consensus seems to be that it's society's issue with infantilizing (hyper)feminity. Sure, that style is definitely more "soft" (not like clothes considered "powerful" like pantsuits or camouflage print or whatever), but there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. You can be soft and still be strong/adult.

[@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701]

except hyperfeminity is not the ultra superior style in feminism. each style (no matter how feminine it is or conservative or liberal it is ) is equally important and has their own unique and special story to tell

[@teresalandhamilton8476]

I’m an adult with the money now to treat my inner child the way I though I deserved to treated but obv poor parents etc etc, so now I’m living my best life

[@brennipop7774]

I was a 'not like other girls' girl my entire teenage years, so when I turned 25 I started using so much pink, flowers, flowy dresses! I'm 30 and still dress like that, even if it's not appropiate for my age

[@chocolanny]

Same 😢 i went through teenagehood and young adult as a « tomboy » but now 10 years after, i completely distanced myself from it

[@Turquerina]

I'm the total opposite, my family often critiques my fashion style as "too old" for my age. In many regards, I love dressing in grandmotherly fashion even though I myself am not one. There's a sense of comfort I find in all the modest and loosely fit garments because I do not jell with tight and sexy.

[@Kalani_Saiko]

And there's nothing wrong with your style, either. It's your life, your body and the clothing you wear should bloody well be your choice. You are the one who has to deal with wearing it, not the people who make such critiques. You make sure you ignore people critiquing your clothing for dumb reasons like that.

[@chineadoconnor1199]

I've had a lot of adverse experiences as a child/teen and it took me until 27-28yrs old to finally not feel ashamed of my body and like I have to hide etc etc. I'm 31 now and I buy pink and purple and pastel coloured clothing, dresses, skirts; I finally allow myself to wear heels, put a bit of lipstick on. It is liberating and somehow it helps me reconnect with the innocence that was stolen from me.

[@BlueRoseFaery]

I think some of it, at least for the 20 year olds wearing these styles, probably has a lot to do with the fact that fashion when they were kids was very adultifying. I've seen tons of shorts/Tik Toks of people my around my age (mid 30s) showing off the things they wore in highschool, which was during the recession and everyone was dressing business casual all the time, blazers & statement necklaces & ballet flats, but they were 14-19. Looking like tiny secretaries walking around. And during that time, little kid fashion was very similar. In the comments on those videos there's always girls in the comments saying they were dressed the same way but in preschool or elementary. And in the years following that, kid fashion wasn't lace & bows & frilly either, it's been graphic tees with pants or cartoon character dresses. I used to work at a clothing store from 2015-2020 and the kids section was always like that. So for a few generations now, little kids haven't even dressed that way, except sometimes the smallest of babies. I wore frilly dresses occasionally as a kid in the 90s because I liked them, but even back then it was very out of place, even at church, & kids made fun of me. They weren't on sale at mainstream retailers, mine were mostly hand me downs or home made by my grandma. So it's not even nostalgia, it's the ghost of nostalgia for something they never had. For kids who grew up so adultified in dress, it's powerful to say "I'm an adult, I can wear what I want now"

[@LindseyPalmer-jx9hw]

Yes I agree. I only wore frilly dresses at church or one time as a flower girl not day to day as a kid

[@emilyrln]

I love the hyper-feminine aesthetic visually, but I don't find it comfortable or convenient to wear myself 😂 I am _living_ for your lacy pink dress!!!!

[@arareanddifferenttune3130]

Same!!

[@quoire]

For myself, I grew up in my brother's old clothes, often pushing away my own femininity. I thought dressing girly was something to be scoffed at, not taken seriously. Now though, I feel more attached to my femininity, after years of feeling like my sexuality was something other people saw in me. I dress in frilly long dresses and skirts, with lots of detailing, referencing older styles and muted colours. I never thought too hard about why I wanted to, and more about the physical comfort and textures. These days, I wear very baggy clothes with ruffles and accents to obscure my form, because I want the clothes to be the focus, not the contours of my body. It makes me less worried about being sexualized, while still feeling pretty.

[@Lala-tm5du]

deep down ive always wanted to dress girly but life had a way to take the joy out of that when you’re a child- i wanted to be taken more serious so i started to be more “boy-ish.” now as an adult, i love expressing myself in girly ways or mixing girly with streetwear, grunge, or chic. it’s just so much fun!

[@luh9590]

at some point i feel like i'm doing it as a counter-response to the baddie concept so predominant where i live. I have no interest in displaying adult concepts, or wearing something sort of plain and mature just because i'm in my 20s. I just want to wear clothes that look cute and complex by themselves, with bows and frills and lace. i have no interest in the male gaze.

[@blue1601]

For me it's less nostalgia and more me trying to live out childhood dreams and the styles I've loved since I can remember. I do miss parts of my childhood but its more me rejecting the idea that adulthood is one strict concept that must be accepted or rejected. I can be mature and wise and playful and happy all at once and the idea of youth is not something to be treasured inherently but something adults block themselves from intentionally. Nothing is inherently "young" other than children.

[@toribees327]

Same! I was very limited in what I could wear as a kid. I mostly wore yoga pants and t-shirts. Now as an adult I can wear the pretty things I always wanted to wear!

[@blue1601]

@@toribees327 I love your profile picture

[@toribees327]

Thank you! @@blue1601

[@femmefatalexc]

love love love this video! your content is always top tier! I'm 26 and adore ribbons, white dresses and curls. As a child I grew up in NJ, the garden state, and during the summer my girlhood was filled with wicker furniture, flowers, the outdoors, and pastel colors. It all felt very cottage core, right down to the paintings on the wall that depicted white picket fences, small homes by the sea and actual cottages lol I think I gravitate towards the babydoll aesthetic because of this nostalgia

[@mahouqueen]

First i wanna say rhat the term "lolita" was and still is misappropriated online as being related to nymphet fashion, which it is not. It is a distincly different japanese sub culture snd street fashion invited in the 1970s. On that note, I wear lolita fashion. Which is too, a hyper feminine fashion. For me personally, lolita fashion is a reclamation of feminity. Feminity that has been stolen from me by disease. The reality is that women will be demonized no matter what we wear. Dressing too girly means you're trying to be a child, dressing to androgynously is frowned upon, dressing too sexy makes you a slut. Facts are women cant win when it comes to how we express ourselves so why not do whatever the hell we want?

[@filledwithbrainjuice]

as a 16 year old femme, the concept of adult women "trying to look like little girls" (aka embracing the hyperfemininity we are taught to be ashamed of) is quite funny, when paired with the idea of teens "trying to be too mature" (which imo poses more of an issue since people take advantage of these more "mature looking/acting" teens, based off of my own experiences, but i digress). both are criticized for different reasons that, to me, are similar at their core: it's about controlling the way people - especially women and femmes - present themselves, in both direct and indirect ways. it's strange to me why people care so much about what adults are doing with their own money in terms of fashion. what people wear rarely affects others, so why judge? (sorry if this sounds preachy - i have a tendency to be too formal in writing)

[@thesealky6445]

You weren't being preachy at all. You made really good points actually

[@filledwithbrainjuice]

@@sophiesophieklein this is a really good point, though i also think that interpretation of that communication is something to consider - like how words can carry different meanings to different people depending on background information (where we are from, what context we usually hear the word, etc.) take punks and their fashion for example: to some people, punks are mean devil worshippers who take joy in causing chaos; to others, punks are the kindest, most trustworthy people you will ever meet; both interpretations are based on background knowledge (even if some is more stereotypical than others). our interpretation of fashion-based communication varies, just like with verbal communication. as for the bit about control, i should clarify that i don't mean everyone who judges fashion is inherently trying to control others - the people i meant are those who make an active effort to shame, harass, and even assault those who merely dress differently (though you were kinda on point about me being a social person - i enjoy talking to people and making friends :] ).

[@cisshayri]

but i mean no little girl looks like that so i dont get it

[@dotdotdotdotdotdotdottod]

what i dont understand is how 26 is a adult adult when j see them as young adults expecially after i saw jungkook turn 26 it honestly made me realise that 26 isnt that old. but i say this as a 17 year old whos scared to get old so idk maybe im projecting 😅

[@Jo-ds3xv]

Good points, not preachy at all imo

[@morgan4583]

I'm 23 and the majority of my friends dress like they are inspired of either toddlers or grandmas fashion. Sometimes it feels like we try to avoid the demand to be attractive (for men) cos it can be dangerous as it was said in the Beauty myth

[@zizimarie6367]

So I personally love to wear Goth Lolita fashion, part of it is just my interest in Japanese fashion and culture but overall I’m finally beginning to like myself because I’m actually allowing myself to be girly. I was at the height of the “not like other girls” era, to the point that I adopted a tomboy style and personality, I had very short hair from like late 7th grade all the way until 12th grade. For years I hated anything that was girly or “basic” and my hatred towards my own girlhood led to me even questioning my gender. Now I can say that I feel confident as a girl, I love being as girly as possible, I love dressing up, wearing big poofy lolita dresses, ribbons, hair bows, hairclips, anything with frills. I’ve gotten back into my love for Sanrio and cutesie things, and overall I’m just much happier being girly because I’m actually being myself. And I say “girly” in the sense that it’s things society will view as childish (again cutesie things, plushies, etc) but honestly being into “adult” things just sounds miserable. I will be a goth lolita princess forever because it makes me happy, and it just feels right for me.

[@marshmallowbaby6473]

I wear a lot of Lolita fashion so I get asked stuff like this a lot, being hyper sexualized as a young child is really traumatizing. You’re pushed straight from babyhood to adulthood with nothing in between. And for me it’s really fun, cathartic and healing to engage in the feminine frilly styles that I missed out on in a safe and non sexualized space now that I have more control and agency. Which is pretty much what Lolita fashion was trying to accomplish as a movement so it makes a lot of sense to me to see other similar trends

[@blackribbon999]

for me the 'dressing like a girl' style is so important to me because it's almost as if i'm regaining some of that innocence i once had, there is also the fact that i've always been a ribbon, bow + heart shape motif girl.

[@ishisu_]

my mom never allowed me to use pigtails after i hit 11 years old, she kept telling me "its only for kids, teens using it will gather unnecessary attention from mean men". And that always stuck with me, its a sicck way of thinking and that affected my way of dressing. To this day i really wish i could use pigtails, but i never do it bc i keep hearing my mom mentioning pedos even tho i was still a child at that time, its repressed within me. I just want to dress in fun clothing

[@lornareilly9407]

What if you just started wearing them at home just for fun 😊

[@ariesfairy4444]

@@lornareilly9407yes exactly this!! u could start by wearing them in the house and maybe eventually even in ur back or front yard? baby steps💕

[@HotaruMimiuchi]

I think there are a number of other factors into why brands like Selkie have become so popular. A lot of the brands I IG follow that make these sorts of dresses are founded by women who are 30+. These are women in my age group. Growing up in the 90s there was a LOT of these big flowing fantasy/historic dresses in movies, tv shows, music videos, ect. but they were not mainstream clothing options. Unfortunately the 90s and y2k fashion trends were what I called "perpetual summer party clothes". It was a time for only super thin girls and any other body type was shamed. We were teens and young adults and many of us didn't feel comfortable in the popular clothing trends. We were told we were ugly and we felt like it. I know women feel like that now but the push for less and less fabric covering your physical insecurities was just awful. I think one of the first big shifts into the reimbrace of these bigger flouncy dresses was influenced by j-fashion and lookbooks. While Lolita Fashion was not easy to obtain for people in the US, it did make these sort of "baby" styles look like something adults could wear. A lot of people would also do themed lookbooks and style challenges. And then Tumblr aesthetics took off. It encouraged romanticising your life. Then the Strawberry Dress happened. Suddenly women see a kind of dress that can feed that desire to feel beautiful and that looked good on all body types. This sparks women to want their own version of this sort of dress. Women feel inspired to reclaim their own sense of beauty and joy. Brands get started and get popular on social media for their fantasy-like posts. The best part is that most of these brands are really size inclusive and somewhat affordable. Now you can have beautiful dresses that make you feel like a princess anytime. You are 30+ and a fucking goddess!

[@gothyoutubeviewer]

I'm surprised you didn't mention cottagecore or elegant gothic lolita aesthetics when talking about the current influences! The selkie dress popped off the same time that whimsical idyllic cottage living was seen as an absolute dream, and the lolita community has been around since the 80s but growing stronger ever since the west became obsessed with harajuku styles. I cant say for certain that lolita/egl has been growing in popularity to the point of influencing the girl internet, but I'd say "kawaii" fashion has, especially with its relationship to Sanrio/Hello Kitty which many of us hadn't thought of since our youth--but is now exploding in popularity due to tiktok girlies!

[@miss_conduct.]

I know why I dress like a kid so often. Mostly in like colorful tees and baggy overalls, cutesy patterns and stuff. Because between the ages of ~12 and 18 I was sexually harassed several times (including groping) by different old men at different random points in time. And it affected me quite a lot that temporarily I developed a mild androphobia. By dressing childish, like a pre-teen tomboy, I sort of retreat back into my happy childhood when I felt safe. Also it helps me to indulge in delusions that if I look like a child then I wouldn't get sexually harassed even though I WAS. And also covering myself up in childish clothes to hide a grown female body. Despite the fact that it was already established for me that a lot of predators don't necessarily want to harass/assault a grown woman, but a young girl instead. I don't feel particularly traumatized now, but I still feel marginally more comfortable dressed like a child in my mid 20's.

[@lordknightalex]

i admire people who can reclaim youthfulness in a fun way, personally i'm stuck trying my hardest to look like the adult i am because overprotective parents and the way my autism presents leads some people to infantilize me and im frankly sick and tired of living as a child or even a teen would. i'm happy for the girlies girling it up though, i wish them all the best

[@notthatcreativewithnames]

As another autistic person who is also transwoman (both diagnosis and transition happen in my mid-20s), I think the way I embrace the feminine or even hyperfeminine style is more in the "why didn't I do this sooner" sense. It is the way I try to free myself out of the masculine physical and societal cage I grew up in. Now in my 30s (just), I see myself as a childish adult woman who dresses herself the way she sees as "cute" while still fits the tasks of her day job. I don't really get the "adulthood sucks, I wanna be a child/a teen forever" sentiment, though. As someone who has more bad memories from my childhood and teenage years than good ones, I just can't relate. I, however, embrace both my adulthood and my childishness as my identities.

[@sanostargalaxy]

In high school i was obsessed with Japanese Lolita Fashion, i always wanted a gothic lolita dress but that never exists for fat women....until lately

[@brimclean2082]

for me, i love the style because i spent so much of my childhood trying to distance myself from femininity and be “not like other girls” so now i’m craving being able to be as feminine as possible and wearing what i really actually wanted to wear instead of putting myself into a box. i’m a farmhand who spends most of my time in jeans and a tshirt, but i want to wear dresses and skirts and pink whenever i go out. it doesn’t define me, and it doesn’t make me any less

[@honeymoon333]

this 'girl' era make me feel validated since I'm grown out my "not like the other girls" phase several years ago. Now in my early 20s nothing couldn't make me happier than putting on ribbon, frills and pink. It's so tiring that whatever girls do always tie to the 'male gaze', but at the end it's just something that makes many women and me genuinely happy so for me that's the only thing matters. Btw thanks Mina for another amazing vids ♡!

[@callerunknown]

Tysm for the captions, I really really appreciate it!!

[@natsat3212]

i honestly love how people are becoming more accepting of girlish fashion on grown women. i've always loved girly clothes and there have been many instances where i go to the shopping mall and wish that some of the clothes in the kids section came in adult sizes. i also felt this dread that once i reach a certain age, i had to stop wearing the girly clothes i liked so much bc people would think me ridiculous for, say, wearing ruffly babydoll dresses when im 30

[@kyezustiak]

I can see where infantilization is a problem, but sometimes I want to wear a fun femine ditsy floral or pastel pops of color and I get told to grow up. I don't know why adulthood has to be gray or beige only. We can adorn ourselves with color and pattern and still be responsible adults!