Mistype Enneagram 9 or 6? (with Dr. Tom LaHue)

[@MattoThinks]

I'm a 6w7. I really enjoyed this, thank you. I also thought I was a 9 for a while but looking at everything, 6 makes more sense. It helps to look back at your life and see what the prevalent patterns have been throughout your whole life. I don't really want to influence people too much with this because I think everybody's on their own journey of self-discovery, but from watching this video, I truly think you're a 6. One of the things that was said to me about me being a 6 vs a 9 was that I seem very "present" to who I'm talking to. 9s have a habit of checking out even when in conversation, and while I definitely notice myself doing that too at times (I do have 9 in my tritype), usually people would see me as more directly engaging. Your energy is very 6. Even your very specific questioning is 6-like. You seem to want to KNOW and want to have some kind of structured means to understand something on a deeper level - digging, questioning, taking notes, trying to get clarification, etc. That is 6. I've chilled out a bit in that sense now but when I look back at my childhood, I recall people finding me a lot to take because of my constant questions. I was not chill like a 9 at all when I was a kid. I GO TO 9 when I'm more relaxed and chill, but that is not my most common natural state. A few things to think about 🙂

[@Apluschic]

I love doctor Tom Lahue!!!! He is the best and I’ve personally have grown as a 9 from his videos. Will invest in personal coaching as next!

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Posted a new vid today. Kind of a do continuation of this interview with Dr. Tom! Let me know if you take a listen!

[@ShanshanZheng]

I’m at 15:36 and already knew that you’re a 6. 😄 6s become like a 3 when under stress, trying to take control, marshal up all the resources to *survive*. 9s only become like 3s when things are in smooth sail mode, and under stress they’re the ones who have racing thoughts, can’t sleep at night, etc., essentially taking up traits of a 6.

[@julia.vasilkova]

Doctor Tom LaHue is sooo wise! Love his points and advices! So good!

[@annadonohoe4866]

I just realized I’m a six the day before i watched this. I too didn’t want to be a six! I thought I was a 9 too, but understanding that I’m a six makes so much sense about myself now. Thanks!

[@thelindseyhaeger]

I still go back and forth. 🤪

[@YEDxFILMS]

@@thelindseyhaeger You going back and forth so much probably means you’re a 6

[@wasifrolics7308]

@@YEDxFILMS A 9 acts like a 6 when stressed out.

[@YEDxFILMS]

@@wasifrolics7308Consistently overthinking about something as trivial as your type is a 6 trait for sure. Lol, I am one

[@aprilcraig2605]

I am struggling literally with this very thing. Am i a six or a nine?! It’s so tricky. I have to at the end of the day ask myself, “do i erase my needs?” Is that my motivation? To totally cater to the needs of those around me so i feel comfortable and so THEY feel comfortable…. The answer is no. Do I trust people to a fault? No. I am super guarded and suspicious of peoples motives always. Do I avoid things out of fear? Yes? I was like you, I avoid things that are “unpleasant and discomforting” but i think that’s a nice way of saying i am afraid of not being in control of the outcome. We are afraid to do things open ended things like make phone calls sometimes bc we don’t know where the conversation will lead. We have to be prepared right?!? Lol But honestly your overthinking of this in the thoughtful and accurate (6) way that you did proves you are a six. We can’t trust our own inner knowing. If you ask yourself deep down you know the answer. JMO

[@thelindseyhaeger]

I don’t know what to say besides I like you, April. :) I like your candor and all that you’ve said here! Are you my new best friend?! Lol. Thx for the comment! Would love to hear more of your “am I a six?” journey! Reach out to me via email if you’d like! [e-mail]

[@jsievers]

This. Was. So. Impactful. He's a great guy. I've watched many of his videos, too.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Awesome! So glad you enjoyed it!

[@catherinewood8332]

I was sure i was a six, because i question authority. But i learned when stressed i turn into a six, because when i am at peace i am my 9 self and authority figures stress me out because of past trauma. But this made it really hard. Honestly, knowing i am a 9 gives me peace because i feel like it gives me more self understanding for why i dont feel like i represent myself. I can never trade who i am for someone's visions of who i ought to be. I'll go with the flow until i feel like i wake up to someone trying to change me, then that person better watch out because i may flip from my 9w1 ways to a 9w8

[@christinegunst2692]

Thanks for sharing your discussion about your experience. I like that you have highlighted the differences between what might be considered as “peace” by each of the types under discussion. It seems to me that if you agree with the idea of growth paths then the peace of the six energy is more of an active adaptation.😊

[@joolslorien3936]

This was a really helpful convo to watch, thanks Lindsey and Dr Tom. I am sure now that I'm a self-preservation 6 (and feeling the cringe, I really wanted to be a 9.) So much makes sense now about why I do what I do :) It's pretty common for me to research and prepare and want to have and share all the info (even with mild stress, it's my natural default response). I also really struggle with the procrastination you mentioned and I think for me it comes from a fear of uncomfortable feelings. I have no resilience left to cope with any extra discomfort and so my natural 6ish cautiousness feels more debilitating. I either avoid stuff or rush to get it done and both options are a way for me to try to ignore my feelings.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Thanks, Jools! So glad it was helpful! I am still teetering a bit, but I've. been in the nine space for over three years and see SOOO much nineness in myself. I'm going to take some time and "try" the type six and and do more digging there. Thanks for your comment!

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Hi Jools! Posted a new vid today. Kind of a do continuation of this interview with Dr. Tom! Let me know if you take a listen!

[@shynn5827]

Yes I think the problem is sp 6 and sx 9, but to me it looks like when you are one type and you move to another type in health you keep the same subtype. But if you move in stress your subtype changes.... I think! I'm a sexual 9 and in health I become a sexual 3, but in stress I am not a a sexual 6, but a self preservation 6. To me it looks like its the same with everyone I know.

[@YEDxFILMS]

Damn that “glitch” hit me hard. I’ve always said that I can help people with their life but I’ve always struggled helping myself

[@dougg1976]

I'm a 9 w 1 , it's the anger I'm sitting on that's the tell tell sign , I'm afraid to express it but it always comes out directly or indirectly .

[@thelindseyhaeger]

yes! Anger always finds its way out of me :)

[@laundrine]

I think she is a 9w1! Don’t nines also hate upsetting others, not because they fear upsetting them, but because they think they don’t deserve to express themselves? Don’t nines fear loss of connection to others, and so diminish themselves? Try accepting yourself as a nine and live with it, and see if it helps you to understand yourself and your past behaviors. Confusing your type like this is so 9. You have definitely been put through so much stress. ❤

[@anemptysky8579]

I've been thinking that I was a 6 for a while. But then I started thinking about how avoidant I can be and how much I procastinate, and how I'm pretty disengaged from groups? I'm pretty passive and I can cloister myself away from the world either in times of stress or in times of peace. Which feels very 9? But I'm also a textbook worrier. I feel caught between the 6 head and the 9 body, haha. I left with more questions than answers, but this video is very enlightening as a whole. Though something tells me that this constant questioning of my enneagram type and my fervor to figure this out points towards 6.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Lol. You sound very similar to me! If you read the comments I’ve had ppl say I’m a 9 and a 6 based on this. That’s no help! Haha

[@anemptysky8579]

@@thelindseyhaeger Aw man! I thought I was closer to answering that question. It's so hard to find the distinction between seeking security and retaining peace. I feel like 6w5 and 9w1 can look identical, especially if the 6 is as undisciplined as I am.

[@BPopovBG]

I am at 2:20 and I already love this. I rarely comment on the videos, but I love what I'm seeing here. Btw I watch everything. Just keep in mind that you are both awesome personalities to me.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Thanks! Glad you are enjoying it!

[@Apluschic]

Learned something new here! Thanks Lindsey!!! Great interview!

[@thelindseyhaeger]

🙌🙌thx Ana!

[@dougg1976]

Wow ! Thx for sharing this , love Tom

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Thanks! I enjoyed chatting with him!

[@astrolobster]

I'm 6w5 sx/so, 638 tritype. Thanks a lot for the video. The key thought for me is that 6s overthinking while 9s are just don't care at all)))

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Thanks! It is a tricky distinction! I'm a part of several nine fb groups (and have one of my own) and many nines say they "do care" and are also overthinkers! Lol! The sixes that listened to my interview said "you sound like a six!" and the nines said, "you're totally a nine!" 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Hey again! Posted a new vid today. Kind of a do continuation of this interview with Dr. Tom! Let me know if you take a listen!

[@jim_tennant]

9s absolutely care - I think that the "don't care attitude" commonly attributed to 9s is a stereotype. I too have struggled within the 3 - 6- 9 triangle (mostly between 9 and 6) for some time and at the end of the day, my core motivations still revolve around avoiding conflict at all costs and not waking up to my own passions/desires. That doesn't mean I don't care - in fact, I care a lot! I also overthinking things like crazy, but I tend to over think them more often when I'm under stress....so I just attribute these behaviors to my "arrow of disintegration".

[@bbjudyfit]

Reading these comments of people wanting to be a 9 is so interesting... i definitely don't like being a 9. I wish i was one of my wings, or even a 3. So .. yea very interesting.😁 Edit: okay I'll take my type of anxiety or a 6's anxiety. i have a couple of friends who are 6s and I'm always telling them to chill out.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Totally! What part of being a nine do you not like?

[@bbjudyfit]

@@thelindseyhaeger the sloth part I have to fight. But it could be my ADD.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

@@bbjudyfit 🙌🙌

[@candidawojcik6356]

I am a 9 too . I feel almost guilty at times for being /doing this (sloth) it's a real struggle. I will sit there and let others talk about their issues and I might feel a little sad or irritated hearing it but never say anything simply because I want them to feel heard and feel loved. Something growing up I lacked feeling myself.

[@tomasbasham8730]

😂 I'm definitely a 6 as well. 649 or 694 I'm not sure, I may even have an 8 fix but all the descriptions add a lot of aggressiveness I don't display. Anyway, I always thought I was a 9 because I didn't know how much I over thought things compared to them, or any other type really. But now I know; isfp 649 sp/sx as of now. Thank you foe this video! You asked all the questions I wanted answers to.

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Thank you, Tomas! So glad you enjoyed the video and discussion!

[@thelindseyhaeger]

Hey Tomas! Posted a new vid today. Kind of a do continuation of this interview with Dr. Tom! Let me know if you take a listen!

[@amyshavendesigns8369]

I have been thinking I am a 9 for a while now. I heard that you shouldn’t take the quizzes. But I did one and it said I was a 4. When I started reading I thought 6! But then very quickly 9. So yesterday I did like 4 quizzes. And one said I was 83% 9 and 82% 6. 77% 2 which matches my jobs etc a bit more…etc etc. I hoped this video would help me but now I am still not sure. I can only say I can take all of this into account when I am trying to solve each problem. When dealing with individual situations.

[@sannl2545]

Great interview, thank you! 🙏😊

[@paulbernhard7186]

Thank you both. This helped me figure out that I am 9. I have a strong affinity for the 4 and 5 though.

[@Cinderella-mc8kf]

Six is fear of losing security or safety and nine is fear of losing harmony or connection.. ?

[@BPopovBG]

12:47 - The six moment. I can see a 9 doing this, if they are in the Bermuda thing..

[@thelindseyhaeger]

true!

[@scaleagile482]

Great video and the explanations of Mr. LaHue are excellent. Nonetheless I can also see her as a 1w9 sp not a 9w1. She points with her finger alot which is a common gesture for 1s.

[@scaleagile482]

The anxiety that she refers to internally can might as well be the self preservation 1 ... Read about SP 1 and you'll see my point

[@scaleagile482]

Her tritype is probably 162 sp/sx

[@Lily-uv9uu]

9s over explain too but her reasoning for over explaining was a 6 reason for doing so

[@thelindseyhaeger]

ahh, didn't notice that. thx, lily :)

[@Tiara_Princess7]

There is something about 6w5 vs 9w1 that is so confusing. I have been between them for so long. 🌻

[@thelindseyhaeger]

So true! I’ve listened to a few episodes of The Enneagram Journey with 6w5 and they are very similar!

[@triforce7464]

I'm male, but you seem like the female version of myself since most of what you said, I could have also said.

[@suzannehutnick3170]

Aha! I finally know I’m a 9 (and you’re a 6)- lol!