Misunderstandings About AUTISM

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Today, I address four common missteps / misconceptions about autism spectrum disorder or ASD. Some of these are missteps that I have made before and learned from, and others are totally new to me and possibly you. But as you know my goal is always to learn more, do better, and tell you about it along the way. And know that we are all still learning, so if you disagree or wish I had included another one, feel free to let us know in those comments down below so that we can all learn together. And many of you let me know that you prefer identity first language instead of what I was taught, which is person first. Meaning it’s preferred for me to say an autistic person rather than a person with autism, so I will do my best to use this language throughout the video.
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #autism
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[@YoSamdySam]

Thank you so much for using your platform to address these harmful misconceptions. I found it so interesting because of the number of times you said "I was taught..." THIS is the problem, that professionals are not learning about autism from autistic people, but from other, mostly neurotypical, professionals.

[@random23287]

It seems pretty obvious. Like, we listen to people with depression to whom therapy helped, and not their parents? So why is autism different? If ABA, for example, helped you and you have autism, great. If it was traumatizing, we need to include and consider that

[@Tshego2000]

Hi sam

[@random23287]

@@OrcaWhatever Yeah, I get that that's an issue as well.

[@ordinarypigeon6918]

@@OrcaWhatever that is a great problem with how we treat children in general. For some reason, we treat them like objects or pets and then suddenly want them to behave like full adults when they barely were treated like human beings for 18 years. This leads to people not being taken seriously until they are in their thirties and barely treatable. Disabilities make it even harder to be taken seriously. For example, my wife can't get an ADHD diagnosis simply because she is over 28 even though all the symptoms fit. We had a long and hard fight to get her the right kind of therapy. The bottom line is that children are humans with an unimaginably vast inner life. They need to be treated seriously and their opinions matter.

[@jasoncline1390]

I think it has to do with fear. I get the feeling from neurotypicals that they want to follow a group approved leader's structure to avoid any responsibility or blame from acting on their own intuition. When dealing with people who think differently personal intuition is everything. We will be ignored, we will be sacrificed, so they can feel safe. When we point this out the neurotypical reaction will be to project guilt and shame back at the autist, they will not allow such truth to alter their preferred reality. This is extremely predictable psychology and it's at a deep and almost uncontrollable level. This is one of the big problems that will be identified and puzzled over as autism awareness progresses. I wish that every autist wanted to make psychology their special interest until the unfair weight society puts on us is delt with. There is only one of us for every thirty of them and It takes an army. Unbalanced struggle that could last hundreds of years even with optimal conditions. That's what I see anyway.

[@lizgubler2460]

I had a psychologist tell me within ten minutes of talking to me that I am not autistic. He used the old " my 5 year old nephew is autistic and you arent like him". I had gone through the diagnostic process and was diagnosed a year prior to this doctor. People definitely need to be educated. So thank you 😊

[@munipincipality8230]

Some doctors are idiots and shouldn’t be doing mental diagnosis cause they think people are all the same

[@dannydorito1447]

And these lazy ass people are supposed to be professionals? That's scary

[@benpamer6574]

I had a general doctor tell me I was misdiagnosed and just lazy after our first and only appointment together

[@heykelly]

I'm late diagnosed Autistic AND a therapist so I'm super grateful to see another therapist acknowledge that our education regarding Autism is... not up to par. Thank you.

[@tinamuller-schewe3580]

As a autistic psychotherapist I wholeheartedly concur!!!! Sometimes it feels as if my collegues do not want to learn from actually autistic individuals.... This video is wonderful...🤓

[@uptown3636]

I also have late-diagnosed ASD, and I'm studying to become a clinical psychologist. Looks like I'm in good company with therapists like you! Have either of you experienced stigma within the field if/when you choose to disclose your ASD diagnosis?

[@yoshi4691]

ABA really messed with me and I blame a lot of my educational, mental health, and social struggles on going through that. It is abuse. My niece and nephew are autistic, and I love giving them the space to experience life on their own terms.

[@Katimorton]

I am so sorry you had to go through that.. and I am glad you give your nephew and niece the space they need :) xoxo

[@cicic5340]

How did it mess you up? What kind of aba were you doing?

[@alexiamapel2956]

I'm really sorry you went through that. One of the things i've learned recently is that much like every autistic individual is different, everyone's experience with ABA is also different. Personally, I thank ABA for enabling me to become the successful person I am, and thank it for teaching me the majority of the skills and tools that help me function in society, but I understand everyone has a different experience.

[@fionarangel9486]

I know people that will take their autistic children into busy places like restaurants and theme parks. They will say it's hard work and they melt down but get through it - I don't understand that concept. I don't like certain places or environments - busy shopping centres at Christmas time for example - so I don't go, or avoid at all costs! Why would I take my autistic child that cannot communicate easily into a place that would bring them discomfort? It's like being forced to fit in, when it will never happen. I'd rather give my child time to work out what he wants as I work with him. Knowing now that I was autistic as a child and my parents didn't know means I think about how I felt back then and not implementing that on my child.

[@ryan-sy3dl]

Also, another reason why functioning labels are irritating to say the least is that everyone has a mix of both “high functioning” and “low functioning” and it doesn’t treat autistic people as individuals. A common saying is that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve only met one autistic person. For example, my brother is categorised “low functioning” but he has no problems with eye contact and touching and I am the opposite in that regard.

[@sailorspills3025]

As a child i didn’t speak apart from when I was at home. I was never diagnosed. Childhood was traumatic, especially with the teacher I had 7-9 years old who would to pull me up to the front of the class and scream at me to tell me to talk.. I was told I was “just trying to be different” “stubborn” ect ect .. I only came across the term selective mutism while watching a TV show a few years ago.. I grew out of it towards my late teens but the memories still upset me. Children just want to be accepted for who they are... we all have strengths, I’m a lot more creative and artistically talented than most people. Please see the blessings in these children and don’t just force then to be “normal”

[@andrewwright7855]

i am autistic and i screamed bc i have been waiting for thisssss (also, as for #2, if you arent a therapist, dr, parent, etc (or someone who absolutely needs to use this) you can talk about support needs bc it emphasises that you're not less than, you just have different needs to be met -which everyone has-). also fun fact as per #4, autistic people have actually been shown to be hyper-empathetic!

[@_just_TK]

Agreed!!! I was once criticized by an employer for not being empathetic enough to our patients which is utter bs. I had a great rapport with my patients & always went above & beyond. My coworkers didn’t understand my gallows humor & assumed I was cold because my facial expressions are muted.

[@ashy2074]

Yes I was actually going to comment this myself but u put it much more eloquently (:

[@nicokelly6453]

The support needs are somewhat better, although I would still be careful because they are sometimes also utilized poorly. Sometimes just used as direct replacement of functioning which is not necessarily accurate either…or sometimes used to say “low support” = never should need help even when have troubles, “high support” = no autonomy of self, burden, etc. And sometimes still used as constant thing when it isn’t constant always… but in some ways still better than functioning and maybe more soft and accurate. Some autistic people also have less empathy-both hyper- and hypo-empathy, depending. Empathy ≠ compassion, even hypoempathetic can be kind and compassionate, just have trouble with empathy. Autism very diverse :D

[@ashy2074]

@@nicokelly6453 yeah, support needs are really only something that should be used when they need to be (I think they are useful for a doctor to know for example) as opposed to everyday

[@Katimorton]

Yay!! Thank you so much for sharing and that is so helpful :) Omg and yes to the hyper empathetic!! xoxo

[@wetboy72]

Thank you Kati. As an autistic person, this is a positive move in the right direction. I’ve learned so much since my diagnosis last year.

[@Weirdastronount]

I was diagnosed at 23 and everything makes sense now

[@mrintomesee]

Dude i already know your story because it's my story too. You reached your 40's and found masking becoming increasingly more difficult. You knew you was different but didn't know how or why. You hit a brick wall in your mid 40's were interacting and socialising, putting the act on became increasingly unbearable, your mental health took a nose dive and you spent most of you time alone or wanting to be alone. Am i right? I am self diagnosed through joined twitter and befriended every autistic person i could find. It blew my mind and soon became obvious i had it. Could have all been avoided if when i was in my 20's i mentioed to my doctor i think i might be on the spectrum and she simply laughed at me, shook her head and told me i wasn't.

[@ryan-sy3dl]

@@mrintomesee I so totally get that. I am also self diagnosed, only difference is that I was misdiagnosed since my speech impediments were treated as a stand-alone thing rather than a symptom of a larger thing and because I acted quite “normal” around others nobody noticed. Even I didn’t until my autistic friends started telling me to look into it since every complaint I had was something related to being autistic. It’s really a weight off your shoulders when you finally understand why you’ve been acting like this and that there are people like you.

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I am definitely still learning, but happy to do it and glad you enjoyed the video :) xoxo

[@Ayesha______]

@@Katimorton Love ya Kati!

[@bluebrightstar1117]

I'm not less empathetic, I feel deeply what others feel but I don't know how to act or show that

[@emilyalice6284]

I hope you know that that’s okay. You don’t need to change. Please accept yourself for you. Your existence is beautiful!

[@bluebrightstar1117]

@@emilyalice6284 thanks ! It would be nice for ppl around me to understand that too & not treat me like a robot ( my highschool 'friend ' used to call me a robot )

[@elaineb7065]

Sometimes the amount of emotion in a room can overwhelm me

[@SlugcatEmporium]

Thank you for this! If non-autistics control all the education and information about autism (I commonly hear "I was taught..." "I learned (x) in school..."), nothing will change for the better. Nothing for us without us. :)

[@legendarymayormarylikestur8874]

ABA is why I home schooled my son with autism in the 90s when he was 3. He surpassed all goals, at home and without weird coersion, force, etc. 25 yrs old now and doing well ❤

[@Katimorton]

That is so good to hear!! I am glad he's doing well!! xoxoxo

[@kaishawna3753]

Most parents still using nasty ABA to this day.

[@ramentaco9179]

Does anyone else wonder how they come off to people? I have ASD and I feel like I’m really awkward but I honestly can’t tell how others are perceiving me

[@_just_TK]

Same!

[@renfairegoddess]

Nope. I have the misfortune of being told at every job for the last 25 years, 'We LOVE your work. Try to be less...uh...you.' The older I get, the more I refuse to mask.

[@nicokelly6453]

Yes, people are hard to read, no idea sometimes…

[@katherinel8970]

it's ok, being awkward is normal even for people without ASD so even if they notice, i think they'll be understanding

[@MirrorsforEyes]

I feel that way sometimes too.

[@hugoyuugo1300]

I was recently diagnosed with ASD, and I am very surprised some people got upset with Katy. I was the one suspecting I might be autistic. Many psychiatrists refuted my thought, but thankfully, 2 who I consulted for an extended period if time, greatly helped me. Not much is known about autism, and the book of mental health, DSM 4, was very different from the new one, the 5th. Katy was taught with the 4th, so she can't know every specific edit... Katy is one of the person who helped me the best through her videos to know what was my illness, while my therapists kept changing, or discarding my ideas. In fact, I am very upset after these people who attacked Katy, because they should know better!! MANY therapists are far WORSE, very rigid, and not open to new knowledge. Also, they should know that specialists in autism are too few. So when somebody as open-minded as Katy deals with this, we should be instead happy because Katy covers soooooooo many subjects 🌟

[@ZukiTV]

Agreed

[@ashy2074]

I wouldn’t imagine that people were attacking her, but it can be frustrating when you hear these misconceptions all around you. I would hope that they would have just been giving feedback on what they were upset by. Any good person (such as Kati) would want to know when people have been bothered by something they had said so they can learn and correct themselves.

[@nicokelly6453]

Part of what makes Kati good is she listens. Part of what makes Kati not rigid is she listens. This is here listening, she cannot listen if we never speak. And being better does not mean perfect or without harm-I’m happy she tries and listens, but she is still human and can be flawed. Part of being a good therapist like this is listening when you learn you may be hurting people. And perhaps “experts in autism very little” but we are autistic, yes? And part of problem is that we are rarely seen as experts on ourselves. Kati is trying to listen to autistic people saying about ourselves too. We know more about autism than many think, many people don’t learn about it-but not knowing yet does not mean learning now is bad. People got upset because - even if better than others - Kati said things that hurt, were dangerous to some of us even. And she listening. And it isn’t inherently bad for us to get upset if someone hurts us, we are not just doing this to hurt her. She can’t listen if we do not have any communication-if we never got upset in anyway, never brought up in comments, then perhaps she would not have heard it at all. She did not say people were mean about saying it. She only said we talk in comments, told her things, which she encouraged. It is not inherently bad to tell someone they were wrong or hurtful about something.

[@Katimorton]

Thanks Hugo and I am so glad that my videos have been helpful :) I am always open to people's feedback because it makes me better and helps me learn more so that I can create more helpful videos!! xoxo So glad you are part of the community and I hope this video was helpful too!! xoxo

[@caseyriley1014]

I definitely agree with the notion that ABA can be bad, hurtful, or even traumatic.

[@laurabryan6938]

Ya I know it was traumatic for me

[@BitOfUltraviolence]

It is a lot like brainwashing. It certainly seems like a good way to create sociopaths as you are conditioned to blend in. The only difference is that you do not know why you are doing it. It is terrible.

[@sailorspills3025]

@@laurabryan6938 yes and me! It’s crazy thinking so many other people went though the same thing... as I child, i thought I was the only one in the world

[@theamp1986]

This is good to know. ABA seems to have a long waitlist period.

[@ronnymeow821]

My mom is still embarrassed that I have autism... when my grandparents come to visit, she intentionally doesn’t tell them, or anyone, for that matter. Once, I got upset and said to my grandma “She (my mom) just doesn’t like that I have autism!” My grandma laughed at me and said that I don’t, because I obviously don’t look it. So then I asked “looked like what?” And she replied with “brain damaged.” Russian families can be so ignorant and insensitive...

[@madzombiebaby]

that sounds tough, hope your mum will learn to fully embrace you 💕

[@sailorspills3025]

My mum said that I didn’t have autism because “I spoke when I was at home” I think she cared more about what others thought than about my feelings..

[@ronnymeow821]

@@sailorspills3025 Exactly.. feel ya💕

[@Ayesha______]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I hope it gets easier for you to communicate with them and they become more willing to understand

[@thirtycats]

Sorry 😞 i can relate. My family is very invalidating (about various issues)

[@_just_TK]

I have ASD & I’ve struggled with communication and feelings of being a “stranger in a strange place” but for the most part I consider my neuro diversity to be a net positive: I’m extremely creative, intelligent, I generally don’t give a fuck about societal norms, & unless I have a deep respect for someone, I really couldn’t care less what they think of me (although, this came with age 😉). I am also the least judgmental person you’ll ever meet because this!

[@Katimorton]

You are the least judgmental person and overall amazing!!! xoxo

[@evemacdonald8654]

I think that is REALLY key to feeling more secure in life, to not give a fuck about societal norms. I do my best to be respectful, I assume on the side of favor that others are not trying to be offensive. And if they are, I do what I need to do to protect my own heart so that I do not need their approval. This also lets me not have to judge others for my own sense of security. I can be secure because of who I am rather than who others are. Something I also do that's helpful is trust my intuition. If something feels off, I don't need to know why or judge why. I ask rather than assume or move elsewhere to where things feel better. We all are different so talking with each other on personal basis is the best way to find out rather than expect others to know what makes us more comfortable. Especially for me, I am so bad with knowing the "right" things to say! I'm always saying things wrong AND ITS SO NOT ON PURPOSE! Let's all share openly in our own unique way so that we all can find the best places for our unique expressions. And then learn how to work together with others who are different for mutual benefit. Win win for all.

[@Genin99]

As an Autistic person, I've had special ed teachers, who treated me like I'm stupid and a psychologist who focused more on making me easier to manage.

[@talideon]

I think the problem with ABA is that it's a form of conditioning. It doesn't really help, but just masks what others see as "problems". It's good to help people learn how to deal with people not like them, but that's a two-way street.

[@christinab.2864]

Conditions us to be at home alone as a roommate slave

[@nono-in6nl]

@@christinab.2864 Sorry to necromance this reply, but I just came across it and cannot find the answer readily myself. Can you explain to me what you mean by roommate slave, and how it pertains to ABA?

[@AliciaGuitar]

@@nono-in6nl i cant speak for christina, but for me it taught me to accept mistreatment and obey, which as an adult, led to my spouse/roomates treating me like the house slave and mistreated if i couldnt keep up with cleaning up after everyone.

[@lfairy6130]

Thank you so much for talking about autism in a wonderfully educated and respectful way.

[@_just_TK]

One thing I hear a lot is “why are autistic people so angry all the time?” My response: I’m on the Autism Spectrum and it is very rare that I feel angry but often times other people interpret my other emotions as anger. For example, anytime I feel frustrated, confused, grief, or I’m over stimulated, I have trouble controlling the tone and volume of my voice so many times people think I’m angry. I believe that many people think those of us on the Autism Spectrum only feel the baseline emotions like happy, sad, angry, etc. but I’d argue that we feel more of a range of emotions than most people, we just don’t express them the same way.

[@KatAddrene]

Yes this! I keep trying to tell my family this, I'm not mad, I'm frustrated...but they just see it as I'm being mean and harsh, so then I just feel guilty for hurting their feelings.

[@nicokelly6453]

True. Also I would say, sometimes people only see the anger because they’re never paying attention to the rest. They don’t see the amount of bad things done to us or how maybe things are over stimulating, so they just assume we are always angry over nothing, when sometimes it is angry because bad things keep happening and very few people are listening. And sometimes they do not notice that we are not actually angry or that we have emotions beside anger, because they don’t know what it looks like, just how you said.

[@lizgubler2460]

I've been told I am not very fun to be around while I was in a shutdown. Kind of goes along with the thinking you are angry all the time.

[@NidusFormicarum]

Interesting! I have ASD too. At first I expected you to start talk about meltdowns where I indeed can react uncontrollably (within a certain limit), but those are extremely rare nowadays, since I am 43 years old by now. But... I have actually been more agresseive towards others for the last couple of years than I used to be. Not in a threatening or violent way, but with words like " okay, so fuck off then!" or "people should die!". While this kind of behaviour could perhaps not be considered the best for my relationships, it is a step in the right direction to start to set limits to what I tolerate instead of beating up myslef when I feel hurt by other people. ... which is definitely connected to my Asperger in that the world often has felt unintelligable and confusing and when people have judged me and got angry with me I have crawled up into a ball in my bed and cried and have not been able to have sound relationships with myself.

[@DevonPixie1991]

Empathy- I care too much. But I may not show it in the way you expect. My mum would say I care about others a lot. I have found it was used to argue I don’t have autism. I spoke to my mum using the informant questionnaire as a guide and she had a penny drop moment.

[@vetar3372]

I hate being called "high functioning", because there are so many things i struggle with that people don't see. It's a f*cking disability, not a funny personality quirk like a lot of people seem to think

[@zypherDNK]

I'd say you missed the biggest one that I meet at least, which is the savant syndrome that some autistic people have. When I tell people that I have autism the first thing out of their mouth is usually some form of "Oh so what can you do?". Otherwise I agreed in some way with all 4.

[@yoshi4691]

THIS. I was forced to play the role of the savant throughout childhood. As an adult, I have deprogrammed from this, but it has left me with low self esteem and imposter syndrome to the point of emotional paralysis.

[@PICKLEDSUGARFOOT]

Yessssssss!!! It's the first thing someone asks me when they find out that my daughter, nephew or mother are autistic.

[@Fireclaw2k]

Thanks for posting. Will check this out. I have autism myself and have been through a lot of challenges and xontinue to go through them.

[@ethangray7392]

Felt. It's rough but I manage.

[@igneousmoon]

I'm autistic and I appreciate this video :) I was late diagnosed and I'm glad I never went through ABA. I feel like I've been as successful as I am because my parents didn't try to change or "fix" me. They just accepted and loved me. If only the rest of the world was the same. I'm a team lead in my job, youngest in management at my company. I'm considered "high functioning" by most. They hold me to a neurotypical standard and then act disappointed when I don't meet that expectation. It's like the don't believe me :( But the more open I am about who I am, the more understanding people have started to be. I'm out at work and only mask with clients, my team and mangers respect me for my abilities and don't judge me for my differences :)

[@oliedmis97]

Hi Kati, I am not Autistic, but I feel that not mentioning the harm done by Autism Speaks in relation to the colour blue and the puzzle piece was an error.

[@ChadSnider]

@@morganstills4412 Read their comment again. They're saying that Kati should've mentioned the harm that Autism Speaks does.

[@morganstills4412]

A friend pointed this out to me. I originally misread the original comment. I’m sorry @Oliver Edmiston for misreading your original comment and going at you like that. I’m autistic and sometimes act before I think.

[@nicokelly6453]

True true! I am autistic and agree, the puzzle piece and blue are directly related to A$ issues…yes we also don’t like them often on their own anyway, but they were spread by Autism Speaks in harmful ways which is a big reason many of us don’t like them.

[@TheAleatoriorandom]

I really appreciate this. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head about many of the ideas that autistic people are advocating for, simply because I don't really understand it and have a very uninformed and biased view of the issue. Videos like this definetly helps.

[@loboandsystem]

(I am an Autistic adult) thank you for this video. I am always unsure when I see youtubers trying to talk about ASD so I came into this video expecting to be turned off by the content but I was pleasantly surprised. Thanks for the content. I don't support ABA therapy there is so many other treatment options that are accepting and not hurtful (my autistic partner and I both found CBT and DBT way more helpful). My parents didn't seek treatment or allow drs to fully asses me and give me a diagnosis ashamed of the notion I could be on the spectrum and decided to do their own home versions of ABA to fix me things like not allowing me to eat unless I verbalized what food I wanted; nonverbal communication was a huge NO!NO! (I am mostly nonverbal as an adult) I hate functioning labels especially since depending on the environment or whats going on in my life my ability to function changes I may seem low functioning in an overwhelming environment but can come off high functioning in other environments. I oddly found getting diagnosed as a female (before I came out as transmale) to be impossible the diagnostic criteria didn't accept that I wasn't a rowdy male as a child I was more quiet, withdrawn and creative. I also found it annoyingly hard to get a diagnosis bc I have an above average IQ and there is a common miss conception autistic people all have low IQ but in reality on average you're as likely to have a high or average IQ as a low IQ when you have autism which is different from the averages of neurotypicals. I have found bc of the IQ misconceptions its harder for people with higher IQs to get help when young oddly enough if you can pass school well and are quiet you slip through the cracks. I do wish the general public was more accepting of autistic people and their differences and also accepting the various level of aid one may need. Being mostly nonverbal and service dog dependant has made me unable to find employment despite all the knowledge experience and abilities I have. Another experience I've had is on the empathy topic I've been scolded many times for not having the appropriate responses to different situations and been accused of not caring/having empathy I find its more that the way I relate to others and the world around me is just different. Thanks again for the content.

[@natashamudford4011]

Yes, I agree with the IQ part. Getting high grades seemed to be good enough for my folks, and poor "citizenship" scores were ignored. It's a lot to take in, and try to recover from, at my age.

[@huddlespith]

Thank you thank you THANK YOU Kati! April can be a tough month for us autistics as a lot of ‘not so great’ videos are made. It’s so nice to have someone I respect so much make such an awesome and well informed video for me and my community!

[@kayvonpaymard556]

What's autistic

[@thesprout]

I think the point about functioning labels is particularly important, because they have now been removed from the latest editions of both the DSM and the ICD, along with consolidating similar conditions like Asberger's and PDD-NOS under the diagnosis of ASD. On the comment "everyone's a bit autistic", I don't have any peer-reviewed and published evidence as a lot of the research around the neural basis of ASD is very conflicting, but my own dissertation that I've just completed was on differences in alpha oscillations between neurotypical and autistic individuals, and typically autistic traits (such as rigidity of behaviour, deficits in social communication ability, amongst others) had different neurological signatures between the two groups, even when they both scored the same on those measures. It's an exciting finding, and one I hope to pursue in further research with more rigorous methodology. Thanks for this video, I really appreciate therapists and other medical professionals taking notice of the community's preferences, and the insight they can offer into their own personal experiences of ASD.

[@timefortee]

Is there a DSM6 or why do you say there are no longer any "functioning" labels? Last time I checked DSM5 had 3 levels of severity of autism.

[@YaGotdamBoi]

I’m autistic and I just want to say thank you for this video! The more people who talk about autism and get it right (or at least more accurate), the more we get positive representation in all areas of entertainment/content, the better. The more we’re normalized, and the less people confuse autism with other disorders (some people think autism is the same as Down Syndrome), and the less people think we’re all the same-we’re not often like Sheldon Cooper. Many of us go undiagnosed until later in life-because we “blend in” so well to neurotypical expectations of interaction, so you probably know quite a few autistic people without necessarily having to be told they’re autistic.

[@_just_TK]

I didn’t even realize I was different until I was 30yrs & a therapist brought it up when my marriage was failing due to lack of communication. I always knew I was different & “quirky” but I didn’t realize that my way of seeing the world wasn’t typical. I was just always confused why people didn’t always respond the way I expected them to & I always just assumed I was socially awkward

[@sailorspills3025]

I had selective mutism as a child and no one ever diagnosed me! I was just forced to “blend in” true

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I know it's just a start, but I am trying my best to learn more, be more accurate, and be educated from my community along the way :) xoxo

[@YaGotdamBoi]

@@_just_TK I’m so sorry to hear that, it’s really so hard to go through life knowing you’re different but not knowing what that means or exactly what makes you different. I hope things are easier for you now, at least in knowing more about what has actually been the cause. 😊

[@YaGotdamBoi]

@@sailorspills3025 that’s so hard, forcing a kid to “act normal” or “blend in” when their own natural way of being is completely different from the majority experience. I hope things are easier for you now! 😊

[@75sadiegirl]

Great job, Kati. I never had my son do ABA but we did do social group and feeding intervention. He has been with a therapist & psychiatrist since he was 5. As far as the feeding, we gave up. I figured what's the point as long as his doc says he is healthy. So we do supplements/ vit. I don't really push the eye contact, but I do try to remind him to respond to people when they talk to him. He's doing really well and is in all Stem classes. Next year we start high school!!! Can't believe he is so grown up! Thanks for this video!

[@amywhitehouse5937]

Thank you for being open to learning and speaking about Autism. Id like to add a couple of things as i myself am Autistic. On a similar topic to functioning labels, Autistics are often judged by whether they are verbal or non-verbal. Our support needs are assumed based on whether or not we can speak. I am classed as semi-verbal as my verbal communication skills vary depending on many factors from completely non-verbal to being able to speak verbally in some situations to certain people. I am treated very differently in situations where i speak compared to times when i am non-verbal, despite the fact that when i am non-verbal i usually use AAC technology or occasionally PEC cards to communicate instead and can express myself just as well as when i can speak. Another misconception i come across a lot, even amongst mental health and healthcare professionals, is that Autistic adults dont have Autistic meltdowns the way children do, or our meltdowns are less severe than when we were children. For some people this may be true, but its nowhere close to being a blanket rule and its certainly not true for me. I have Autistic meltdowns just as frequently as when i was a child and they can be just as severe. Thank you again for trying to educate not just others, but yourself too. Autism really does need more acceptance. We dont need to be changed or cured, just better understood and for people to accept us as we are. Autism isnt a bad thing, we are just neurologically different to neurotypical people. A lot of us, including myself, dont want to be 'cured' of our Autism, we just need support to live in a society that wasnt designed for us.

[@kpaxian6044]

I know. So many people make stupid judgements about others. Drives me nuts too. Keep your chin up! ♡

[@timefortee]

Thanks so much for sharing.

[@kyotojan]

Thanks for this Katy, as an autistic psych researcher it's so great seeing my mentors helping to change the conversation. One next step, which I get is hard because the DSM has drummed it into us, but we're trying not to use the term "ASD", because it perpetuates the idea that autism is an aberration, instead of a difference. That's not to say that it doesn't come with its challenges, it can definitely be a disability, but much of the time that's just because we're living in a world where the rules and environmental conditions were set by people with brains that work differently - via a vis the social model of disability, rather than the stigmatising medical model. Anyways, love your work, thanks for spreading the learning!

[@emilyalice6284]

Yes yes yes this is so important too!

[@HeadacheR1]

What I've heard is : Some autistic people, not saying all, would rather prefer autistic than a person with autism. This is because it could be referred to as "a person with"; "cancer", "a disease"... Meaning to say, "it's a problem", "it's something to get rid of", and "it doesn't define me". And that's why they rather prefer autistic than, "person with...

[@BunnaySango]

This all feels a bit pedantic and hard to follow.

[@marysdanceworld6066]

@@BunnaySango In my opinion it is no different from using the preferred version of someone’s name (ie. shortening “Samantha” to “Sam”). People will get it wrong from time to time, but using someone’s preferred wording is an easy way to make them feel appreciated and understood. I honestly think that whoever tried to make person-first language “politically correct” is the one who was being pedantic.

[@Catlily5]

I personally prefer "autistic person" mostly because it is easier and less clunky to say than "person with autism". But I don't care that much either way. I also have bipolar disorder and it seems like family members and professionals often get more upset about language than those of us who have the disorder do. Anyways it is up to each of us to decide how we want to label ourselves.

[@keelyschemmer]

People assume I’m afraid of everything because of the lack of eye contact

[@bluebrightstar1117]

Or that I'm lying because I can't look them in the eye

[@keelyschemmer]

@@bluebrightstar1117 word

[@jenniferlockett_jkl]

@@bluebrightstar1117 I lost a job because of that.

[@bluebrightstar1117]

@@jenniferlockett_jkl I'm sorry to hear that :(

[@ndgomez]

My 4 year old son is autistic and even I didn't even know alot of the things you had mentioned.. it's crazy to think how we can mean well when talking about something but it can still come off as offensive.. thank you for talking about this.. ♡

[@acegassman3228]

The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is to speak with autistic adults and become part of the community. As Kati alluded to in this video, much of the education professionals get about autism is quite poor or downright damaging.

[@AuntyProton]

I was diagnosed at age 50, and I find that people don't believe me when I tell them I'm ASD. I get "you have a career, you built a house, you take care of yourself, you can't be autistic ". Or similarly, "You're an adult you can't be autistic". When I was a kid, autism was unknown in the United States. And yeah, I've worked a career and built my house and lived my life but it was not and is not easy in any sense. Is there any alternative to survival or non-survival? Because those are the only two choices I see. You either make some kind of life or you crash. When you are not bad off enough to be considered disabled you get no help at all. Edit: Hey Kati, could you address the loss of identity felt by females who are diagnosed later in life? How do we pick up the pieces when diagnosed as I was after childhood? These last couple of years, it just seems like everything I am is due to the autism. Who am I, now? How do I figure that out, hopefully in a safe way? Thank you!

[@GaiaRich]

Hi I really want to share my story When I was 2 years old I got diagnosed with autism. Since I can remember my parents were to busy to really look at me and what I needed. The only time I really saw them where at appointments for care. Sometimes I would make a move to get love from them by drawing a picture or singing for them. But all I got was what I didn't do right instead of thank you so much. Eventually they said I couldn't handle criticism, which is not really true as you can read. Besides that I wanted to try things like going to the movies and stuff. They said I couldn't because I was different. And when I finally got the chance because we where going to a musical, I started to panic at the parking lot. Because I wanted to do it right, prove myself but I didn't know how. That was me at 11 years old. My mom put the stupid thought in my head that I couldn't communicate well with others. So many times that I believed it and stopped talking at all at school. When I was 15 I got depressed, moved out and started thinking why. At age 20 (current age) I got diagnosed with anorexia. My mom said it was all because of my autism. She said it to my cares, my family, my dokters and me. But I began to know better and said it wasn't because of that, it was because of the way I was treated all my life. She didn't agree and I broke contact. After that I moved forward incredibly fast in my development! Taking trains for more than 3 hours without preparing? No problem for me anymore! I even get compliments about it For example that I explain things very well! So to all the parents who have children with autism Let them be themselves! Let them try and don't be afraid if they fall. Cause you are there and I can tell you from experience that if they fall they'll never make that same mistake again! Give them time and love okay? Cause that's all I needed 😌

[@timefortee]

May more parents hear your message of love!

[@GaiaRich]

@@timefortee 💖💖💖

[@Mary-zj5qw]

Thank you for making this video. I am glad more professionals are receiving feedback from autistic people and changing their view. I would say that a huge misunderstanding about autism is that it is only a childhood issue. It a lifetime diagnosis, and not something we grow out of. More and more professionals like you are starting to obtain information from autistic adults and their unique experiences. I’ve been personally frustrated with the lack of information or resources for adults on the spectrum. Many people commenting on this video are autistic adults. Now that the thought that autism doesn’t just affect cis boys I think it is also time to understand what autism is like for those of us who are grown up. Autistic adults are the ones who can help outcomes for autistic children more than anyone in some ways.

[@mausisaidmaus8422]

Thank you for revisiting this subject, listening to autistic people's own views about autism and updating your information, especially regarding ABA. ABA teaches us to view the comfort of others as more important than our own discomfort and even pain. It profoundly damages self-esteem and constantly having that presumption mirrored back makes it hard to build self-esteem, so I think it is enormously important that you have revisited this in such a public forum.

[@streamofawareness]

This is so good to see. Thank you. I’m autistic and going to be 41 next month. I remember your old video and was kind of upset by it, so seeing you correct those views is such a relief. 😇

[@kaishawna3753]

It feels good that those who try to change their old ways about autism

[@CassieWinter]

I had never heard of ABA before. Grateful that my autistic partner never had to experience that. Thanks for another great video! 🥰

[@Jess-wk5jo]

hello kati i have special needs and autism and learning disabilities and heart condition call Tetralogy of Fallot and flat feet and another needs thank you for your time love from jess ❤

[@Akaruiumi31nihon]

Dealing with different issues. Mimicking actually helps my symptoms and neuroplasticity. “Traditional” therapy was traumatizing. To progress treatment had to be individually tailored.

[@NidusFormicarum]

There are some thngs that are very difficult and very sinsitive to explain. Shutdowns, meltdowns and highly inapproriate behaviour, for instance. When I was young (up to say 25) I often behaved very strangely in certain situations: I could jump into a swimming pool with my clothes on, disconnect the fridge at my friend's place, destroy all my grandfather's violins (he was long dead and dearly missed by that time), cutting my teacher's skirt in school etc. You might assume that I didn't understood these were inapporiate behaviours, but I was not stupid so if you assumed that and tried to explained why I should do like that you would just make things worse. It was of course also not true that it was simply me being bad or wanting to cause trouble or harm. Instead I had huge problems to deal with emotions when I got overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions in my head reacing to certain things being said verballly. Unforfunately, I never received any help with how to deal with these situations and I never got the right tools I needed. This is hard to explain to people. Today I am 43 and don't react in that way anymore. Sadly though, I still have the same basic problems with dealing with emotions and thoughts and I have no idea where and how to receive help. I think it's too late, because the society simply doesn't prioritize a person in my age and therapy 45 minutes each second week doesn't helpt the slightest. It's way too littlle too late. I amd constanty struggling to get more help, but it seems futile.

[@katehehl]

Thank you for making this video. I feel heard ❤ I am newly diagnosed at 37 all while raising my three children also on the spectrum. My husband and I have been against ABA since day one. It is abuse. Thank you for touching on labels. High functioning does not equal lesser needs. Thank you for speaking about empathy. Sometimes I have to leave the room because I feel other's emotions on an intense level and I don't have the ability to filter it all. Please continue to share this content as it is greatly needed and so appreciated!

[@GoobyGooby]

Thanks for taking the time to learn about autism from our perspective!

[@freddyhenderson2303]

I am so glad you touched on the empathy myth! All people have different levels of empathy, not just autistic people. Varying levels of empathy is a human trait, not an autistic one!

[@timefortee]

What would you say about the TOM, though?

[@lesleigh04]

As the parent of a nonverbal 8 year old with asd and adhd, I wish there were more help for parents and especially single parents with autistic children. I have had to fight every step of the way to get therapy and schooling for my son. It took over a year to get him into a school for autism. It shouldn’t be this hard.

[@robinplastic2935]

I wish I had that label when I was little. Instead when I got tested and some of the results came back off, my parents got accused as drugging me. So technically I got no support for my autism growing up. My life became a living hell. I only got diagnosed in my 30’s. And now I deal with PTSD. I am currently in therapy to deal with it.

[@jzconrad5564]

Thank you for putting this out here! I appreciate it very much. I would have liked to see the education aspect of how harmful Autism Speaks has been put in there with the connection to the puzzle piece and color...as I feel that's an important piece to address. I can understand though this is a platform of public nature, and you are also having to go up against your formal training and they are at the end of the day a power house organization. That may not have been the battle you wanted to fight. So I can respect a decision not to include it based on that. That said, I'm immensely grateful that you brought up the infinity symbols and as a suggestion, maybe go back and include images of those if you can, so it can be easily recognized. Lastly, another reason "high/low" functioning labels are not accepted in the autistic community, is the fact that we have to mask so incredibly hard to make it look ''high functioning'' that it comes at a major cost, we might not actually be ''high functioning'' internally. Whatever stereotypical image people think of as autistic, isn't a one size fits all, but most importantly it isn't really accurate. It costs us greatly to try and fit into a neurotypical world. Even those of us who have honed our communication skills or taught to read certain social cues over time, this is especially true for women autists. Those labels only divide us more and don't acknowledge the internalized agony we can be in as we process the day, and that might very well impair functioning, just may not be in visible manifestation. I just want to say thank you, and I adore that you took the time to educate on this topic! This is so very much needed right now!

[@lv9265]

Bumping this comment up.

[@timefortee]

@@lv9265 One bumps YT comments by replying to them????

[@emilyalice6284]

Thankyou for this video! I struggle with autism being a ‘disorder’. What about my existence is disordering? It is simply a neurotype. There is nothing wrong with being autistic in the same way there is nothing wrong with being gay or a certain race or religion. Humanity is diverse. A lot of what make autism a disability is the reaction of neurotypicals and the fact that society is tailored to neurotypicals. Autism can cause challenges. But just Being alive causes challenges. As an autistic I need accommodations to help me in a world that isn’t designed for me. That’s okay though. We’re all different. We all need accommodations. The world isn’t one size fits all. I’m so grateful for this video. It’s a real step forward. 💕

[@timefortee]

I really don't get it when autistic KZbinrs describe autism as a disorder... Why do they do that?? Also, why is there a trend of faking autism in TK and YT?? Are they getting paid that well for lying?

[@Catlily5]

I see my autism as a disorder. I am being tortured by sensory issues and I have a hard time making friends. I can't work. I am living on disability. I see part of Autism as a gift and part as a disability. I am glad that you don't see Autism as a disorder but realize that we aren't all the same.

[@marshmallowdarling]

I remember being taught to refuse to stim when I was a kid, I was bullied a lot (the amount of times kids would smack their hands on their chests at me 🤦🏼‍♀️) so the solution my teachers and mom had was to teach me to not do it. Refusing to stim is uncomfortable and makes me more anxious in situations where I’m already anxious, it feels wrong, and it makes me look pained and uncomfortable. My weird body movements make people uncomfortable sure but since I started letting myself do it I’m more comfortable and relaxed in social situations and it feels nice, and the people that know me well can pick up better on how I’m feeling or what I’m trying to express based on how I’m moving

[@craigmerkey8518]

As always thank you for your compatriot and bringing awareness to this very important issue!

[@infinitivez]

All those years of railing against identity last speech, finally accepting it, and then today learning, no one else liked it either? I don't personally care how it's applied to me per se. I always found it odd that autistic was the only -ic suffix word people were avoiding using as an adjective. To have this come full circle now is kind of liberating 😂 Because even after almost a decade, I was still catching myself making the "mistake" and thought, "gee, it's about ME, can't I just be an autistic person and be ok with it?"

[@thirtycats]

Thank you so much for making this. I hope a lot of people will see it and the mindset of people will greatly change.

[@sjzara]

Thank you. It’s so good to see someone promote learning and changing your mind.

[@CoffeeConsumer643]

Alwasy love your videos and as a autistic person (and adult) really appreciate the positivity and detail you bring to the conversations. Will need to keep this video in mind for certain keyboard warriors

[@Beeb.26]

Amazing video Kati!! Thanks for your insight!!❤

[@TheSaraGames]

Lots to say and at the moment no real time to say it in detail. As a neural typical person (I think), I feel it's important for me to take the time to learn how a specific autistic person communicates. This is especially true with children who may have a much harder time expressing/communicating. As I learn I'm better able to understand and communicate back. In an abstract way, it's like learning a new language. It takes time understanding and patience to make that connection. The reason why I think it's important is that it becomes easier for both of us to communicate with each other far better.

[@emilyalice6284]

Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou for this. As an autistic, you are the best kind of person. Let’s all learn each others languages. Let’s all exist as beautiful versions of what it means to be human.

[@quentinmckinley2083]

im an autistic person and i really enjoyed you pointing these out!

[@roisinhayes6048]

This is such an important topic! I am a music therapist that is working with children and adults with ASD. Thank you!

[@lilh9984]

You are truly genuine and I appreciate your vulnerability and openness I'm addressing these misconceptions

[@hannahheartsedward]

Thank you! I teach classes on mental health and ASD is totally left out. Personality disorders are also left out. I know parents who have kids with Autism and this helped me to be less clueless. I thought it was ridiculous how young one of the kids was diagnosed, but seeing him a few years later I am glad they intervened early. The child is a twin so differences stick out more.

[@Ayesha______]

Amazing video Kati! This video is soo helpful and informational ❤❤❤

[@BriBooth]

I appreciate this information. I was recently diagnosed and I’m learning so much!

[@cm374787]

Awesome stuff Kati, may I just say I came across your channel after I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD at 26 a few years back now. I really do appreciate the work you do.

[@jennifereagle3536]

Thank you for posting this!!

[@kaylaburrell4637]

Thank you!!! I’m autistic, and I really appreciate you listening to us and being open to learning! ❤️

[@puffinhat4669]

I love how much effort you put in with the research so you got things correct and in the preferred way for the autistic community

[@chroniceverything]

I wanted to make one more comment from a MOTHER’S POV & see if there’s anyone here who can relate. I have 6 children, 3 of them autistic. My 19yr old daughter has her struggles and has been amazing to watch her grow, learn etc. She’s currently finishing freshman year at college. Then I have 2 autistic sons. One going on 22 who requires full time supervision, currently attends a day program & lives with us. His verbal skills are comparable to aprox a 8-10 yr old level. Younger son going on 8yrs is nonverbal, not potty trained, also needs constant supervision (both boys are flight risks). They are amazing kids w wonderful, unique personalities & both are very loving to family & “favorite people”. But dang is it frustrating for both of us that he can’t communicate the best about his wants, needs, physical & emotional feelings. Having to guess if he is sick or not. And while I do value the input of people in the autistic community who do so much with education, volunteering, organizations, etc... I admit that in my bad moments I get REALLY angry & jealous. Thoughts like “dude! You are autistic and able to articulate these kinds of thoughts!! Do you have any clue what it’s like for the families & children who have autistic children like my son??!!” I will leave him long enough to use the restroom & when I come out he will be sitting on top of the refrigerator (he loves to climb). The constant worry he will hurt himself (on top of the self harm) get lost. The stress is insane. Don’t get me wrong- I love & adore my sons and their unique positive qualities totally outweigh the negative. But it is a 24/7 stressor (he also likes to wake up in the middle of the night, we have motion activated cameras, door & window alarms etc). I have often wished that the dangerous aspects of his autism could be “cured”.

[@robbie41090]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! We need people to know these things. Thank you especially for touching on empathy. People need to learn that we aren't unfeeling or disinterested, just that we show it different than a neurotypical person. When in doubt, ask! We aren't prone to lying to make others comfortable. 🤣

[@socraticproblem86]

Since my diagnosis two years ago I've had so much more understanding of myself and self-love.

[@TravelingPhilosopher]

Thank you for making this video! These videos are highly informative and educational. I heard that people with Autism experience lower or lack of empathy but it was just a misconception! I am glad I know now so that I can understand the people around me better and have more meaningful conversations/interactions with them! :)

[@SB_McCollum]

I'm an extremely late diagnosed HFA, last year at 59. First, not diagnosing girls and women is a devastating life changer. If I could have had access to some help, even first access at a number of points after high school, so many things might have turned out better. Just KNOWING straightens out so many thing. The Australians, Canadians, and the British seem to be catching on to this much better than anyone in the US. Even if there could be some privately funded charities with city or state wide reaches, a great deal of good could come from it, especially for the next generation of children of autistic mothers. Second, a comment about anxiety and food issues. I quit eating anything in the nightshade family 2.5 months ago and not only has my digestive rollercoaster ceased to exist, but I'm now learning to live without the subtle anxiety from a mild toxin and a repeat gut upset pattern. I wasn't expecting that food group to have had so much of an effect, I just knew Mexican food and tomato sauces were an issue so I just got rid of everything as a trial and, boy, is it working! I didn't even know that I was anxious until I wasn't anymore. I'll check your anxiety vids for some education on that, but if anyone else is skipping all nightshades, please holler, I'd like to know if anyone else has found it effective. Third, I'm throwing my old blog back up on the web because it's a record of the confusion and harm that late diagnosed autism can cause or amplify. Everything else I can say about that is written there: sweetbriarsoldblog.blogspot.com/

[@hallythejester1234]

This video reminded me of a conversation I had with my cousin who is licensed to give ABA therapy and is someone with autism herself. I also am on the spectrum. I’ll never forget one of the things she said, I’ll quote it here: “if therapy causes long lasting trauma then I’m sorry but your analyst and therapists need more training. Good therapy that is helpful is individualized to the child. Good therapy is listening to the child and the parents, and helping the child reach their potential. It’s knowing certain things work and others don’t. It’s not a one size fits all sort of science. *Trauma inducing therapy involves not allowing the child to truly speak up or communicate for themselves and forcing kids to do things. That is not what good ABA is about. Everyone has a voice and we have to teach them how to use it.* “ She also stressed that it was important for parents to do research about ABA prior to the consultation and not hesitate to voice any concerns they may have right off the bat. Such as what exactly they want their kid to get out of therapy. She also insisted that if anything doesn’t sit well with the person doing therapy or the place, it’s ok to remove the child from that situation. As someone who was not diagnosed until after I had already turned 18, I wish I did have access to good ABA therapy. Or something to help me. It would’ve saved me a lot of embarrassment and possibly trauma over the years.

[@hallythejester1234]

I’m not a therapist myself, but when I envision the ideal type of therapy designed to help people with autism, I think of a therapy that teaches effective stress management and communication skills. So something like teaching social norms, yes, but not for the sake of fitting in or getting approval of others. But rather to make communicating and maintaining relationships with the right people easier. Just to give an example: when I was a kid, I remember thinking that my mom didn’t love me anymore a couple of times. I was like four or five at that point and very attached to her at that point, so that caused a significant amount of distress. Significant enough to vaguely remember it 20+ years later. Would’ve been nice to have had the skills to realize nothing about her body language suggested such a ridiculous notion.

[@TM-rk5dj]

I sincerely appreciate this video. I have been recently diagnosed with ASD so it is helpful to my own knowledge building.

[@mollycampbell6060]

I would LOVE to see a video that addresses the pathological demand avoidance profile of autism. We need more awareness and HELP!

[@typhoontim2]

One of the few videos on KZbin that isn’t making me (incorrectly) feel like a worthless human being for being autistic. I really hope people who are searching for information find this video first as opposed to the many other harmful videos that exist on this platform.

[@natalies3032]

I was recently diagnosed with ASD at the age of 27. My biggest struggles are social anxiety, communicating with others sensory sensitivities and work stress. I want to disclose at my workplace soon, but I am nervous that they won't understand what ASD. I wish more people were understanding and accepting.

[@jessicasierra9313]

Wow, really great video. Yesterday, I visited a small group of mothers with disabled children in my town and we all had to stand up and introduce ourselves. I kept hearing “and I have a son with high functioning autism.” I said “I am a mother of two autistic children.” One of the mothers later in the night was talking to me and saying things about her son. She kept referring to him as “high functioning” and she then asked about my children. I said “They’re autistic and so am I.” She was stunned. She’s like “I’ve never met an adult who is high functioning.” I said “me either, my functioning level is pretty low right now.” I went on to debate her how these labels are harmful in the nicest way possible. Don’t think I’ll be back to that group… but great video and I hope others will watch. I’ll be sure to share. You’re really trying to be understanding and that’s great to see. I appreciate how you worded things.

[@nicokelly6453]

Thank you for listening and trying to learn with autistic people! About awareness (I am autistic): part of the issue to me is that “awareness” does not really say anything about reaction or whether autism is good bad or neither or how to act after aware, sometimes less about understanding autistic people and more about knowing stereotype or problems. Awareness only tells you to know it exists, and people/orgs will use it to tell statistics and things about autism to their agenda, which does not always align with the needs or voices of autistic people but rather how allistic (not autistic) feel about autism, sometimes doing stigma or talking about how autism is evil plague (not with those words but those ideas). Awareness does not tell you how to treat autistic people, does not tell you to listen to autistic people, does not tell you whether to see autism as an okay thing or as a bad disease to be eradicated-and some have used “awareness” to scare towards eradication and showing only how autism is bad / hurts people, never how it is part of us or how we are still people or how our feelings and thoughts about ourselves matter. Part of the problem with “awareness” is how it has been used like this and how it does not say more about accepting, listening to, supporting autistic people without trying to undermine our autonomy. Awareness only says, “autism exists, be aware” it does not say “we are not bad, we are people even if different or even if pain, we deserve listening and love.” The call for “acceptance” instead is to go towards that listening and supporting and letting autistic people have autonomy. And I mean all autistic people-even the “bad” “not smart” “don’t act ‘proper’” autistic people. Many don’t want cures, some do want cures for parts of it that are painful-but should at least be a choice, should at least stop always outsiders telling autistic people that part of our whole existence all our lives, our autism, is bad and should be eradicated (with us along with it, oftentimes), acting as if allistic people thinking autism = bad means autistic people don’t want to be themselves, also thinking some autistic want cure should mean all autistic should be cured-we should respect autonomy of autistic individual, not mass allistic belief about autism. Lots of cure talk more about making less burden, making more like allistic, whether or not actually wanted by autistic people. We have allistic people in charge who say what we want or should want without asking, without supporting our own thoughts/feelings. Yes we do need help lots of the time, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t people. We can want things, we can think things (even if thoughts are hard sometimes) and needing support or using AAC or etc does not mean we should never get to or we never have ability to decide or have opinions or feelings about ourselves and the world. And awareness means only people knowing OF autism, usually knowing stereotype, and not being told that knowing of autism does not mean it’s okay to be mean to autistics for being autistic, or thinking that autism is not diverse and autistic people do not have thoughts or feelings or individual autonomy. So, we want “acceptance.” Because acceptance maybe means work towards listening and supporting autistic people, means looking for stopping stigma (not just maybe adding stigma with awareness), means accepting that “act different” “look different” “talk different” and “feel different” are not inherently BAD or make us less human or even make us want to do these like allistic people, even if we do struggle. So yeah, long talk. Thank you for listening.

[@sunflowerkat]

Thank you so much Kati!! I am autistic and I really appreciate this. It's so important for us to keep learning and growing!

[@m3tr0id86]

Been following you for years Kati, years long before the pandemic and thank you for speaking up about this. My suggesting Kati is ask if people would prefer labels or not. To be honest, like if you play out a scenario that I was one of your patients and you used *High Functioning* and you were to say was an old habit, I would say "Don't worry about it. I have been called far worse than that so that's nothing more than a drop in the bucket" Still though, I did wish people would understand that I do have my ways that I do things. Most of the time they say they listen, but I question if they're actually listening. Like Mental Overload and they keep trying to help instead of just giving me my space to work on stuff. Like I made a new video called "Gamma's Fury" a nod to Bowser's Fury that I made myself through the 10 years of Video Editing I taught myself, but people assume that it's super easy. Sometimes I wish they understood that "I make it look super easy", but it took years to learn to do so properly. Most of the time I want people to understand that I function much differently and would like to work on stuff like that instead of going to parties and stuff.

[@tazyou11]

I have Autism and was diagnosed in my thirties and was happy to see you post this video. I was glad to see you be honest about the way you were taught. Thanks

[@arealowl]

Everything you talked about was spot on, and I want to take a minute to add a couple things for anyone reading this. Regarding high and low functioning labels: it can be hurtful to the individual, yes, but actually harmful as a whole, which Kati touched on. So if you’re considered “high functioning” (ie you can pass as neurotypical), you are often invalidated and denied the supports you need for school/work, etc. This may even include being denied a diagnosis. If you are “low functioning” (cannot pass as neurotypical), you are denied your autonomy, which is arguably worse. You are also more likely to be attacked by the police. Kati didn’t mention this, but I will: Autism Speaks is a eugenics group. They want to develop testing to detect autistic fetuses. They want to find a cure for autism. In their fundraising propaganda, they treat autistic children as burdens on their families and society. They made one “awareness” commercial in which the mother of an autistic child considered suicide because of the autism. They lobbied Congress to kill a bill that would require autistic people to be included in research and policy decisions that affect their own lives. Autism Speaks is a money grab machine that does absolutely nothing but help Autism Moms! have a place to be toxic together.

[@SusieQ78]

Oh my goodness... I don’t have ASD, but I think I want one of those boxes!!!

[@irmin.0416]

Thank you for this video. I think a lot of prejudices/misconceptions which are important to me are mentioned. I have aspergers. It was very helpful to hear it from you, as you are a person i like to listen to. Greetings from the netherlands.

[@PracticalInspiration]

Fascinating, this was really informative and useful

[@ghracobh]

Thanks for the wonderful video kati! I am at the beginnig of psycology school here in my country, and still dont have enough information about ABA in this scenery, but your video helped me a lot, as usual!

[@skyyyskiii]

Thank you SO much for this!!!!!

[@ssing7113]

ABA is straight up abuse. I used horse therapy. Play. No expectation / let go of the goal. Attune to kids needs. To have my kid the happiest autistic kid I’ve ever seen in my entire life. He is laughing and joking and engaging 99% of his day. I always listen to my gut over a doctors. And it has only helped me…. I met someone who helped write the criteria of DSM for Autism. They told me to teach my kid sign language. I thought about it and said F that. If I do that I’m showing and thinking he won’t talk. If he wants to he can. If not he’s doesn’t want to yet. There is a very fine line with that I’m saying. I’m not saying negligence.. what I’m saying is to attune and know what’s right. I felt my kid would speak one day and going down the path that he wouldn’t would be more harmful… if that makes sense. Use your instincts. You’re their parent and you know what’s best. Obviously my kid speaks now and did so much younger then most autistic kids… I accepted him for his grunts and wow.. what do you know he talked faster then anyones kids on that ranch. They were speechless. Pun intended. LOL

[@jennym161]

wonderful video thank you so much !!

[@QuarterCoyote]

Thanks for posting this great video. I was diagnosed with autism in my early twenties and I've noticed that there is a little disagreement over the use of person first language. Some do prefer to use it and others don't. I myself don't mind either one. If it makes more sense grammarly to use one, then I say go ahead and use it.

[@Catlily5]

I am Autistic and I agree with you. I use whatever language is easier as far as length and grammar.

[@Hannah-pi2yr]

I have a child with Autism, and also previously worked as an ABA therapist. Ethically, I can't get behind ABA, which is why I no longer work in the field. Yes, it can help children who are a harm to themselves or others, but at the heart of it, it's really breaking down the child's will. I have no doubt that this can be harmful and even traumatic for children, who essentially are robbed of their free will. I can see ABA maybe being beneficial in extreme cases, where children may injure themselves or others, but other than that, I would not recommend it.

[@passaggioalivello]

Thank you, I need this video.

[@Lisa-zx5kb]

Good on you for listening and taking the time to learn. Great video! :)

[@mrunalwalvekar5301]

ASC or Autism Spectrum conditions is kinder because a lot of us think it's part of the human condition

[@kpaxian6044]

I love this!

[@timefortee]

Not a disorder, indeed.

[@Catlily5]

@@timefortee Maybe Autism is not a disorder for you. For some of us it is. For me it is a gift and a disorder.

[@McBlammy]

Thank you for making this video. I'm autistic myself and spent years working with mental health professionals who thought I had all kinds of issues before I finally figured out *myself* that I was autistic, and that this information would've really informed a bunch of the work we had been doing if it had been known sooner. The kicker? I told all of them at the beginning of working with them that I thought I might have aspergers and they all kind of thought that was an interesting idea before moving on to the kind of work they had been trained in without helping me figure out if my hunch was actually true. In my opinion the professional mental health profession has a LONG way to go in understanding and supporting autistic people, but I very much appreciate you in particular being willing to learn, and grow, and own up to your past mistakes with a view of looking towards a more positive future. Thank you.