What is Executive Dysfunction? | Kati Morton

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@jougjimmadome]

I didn't realize Initiation was part of executive function; it's really really hard for me to start tasks even if I'm excited to do them

[@evanurena8868]

Same problem I have as well. Even when I get warnings or i'm intrinsically motivated to do something, the sense of urgency doesn't always come into full gear and that doesn't last for a long time. I feel you're pain, it's a frustrating feeling.

[@mariamshah338]

Same

[@funtoonslmao8388]

Same

[@alabaz2302]

This is me i literally hate myself for it. I feel like the laziest peice of shit ://

[@mariamshah338]

@@alabaz2302 you’re doing the best you can, it’s okay❤️

[@emosag]

Also, if you grew up with childhood emotional neglect this also causes trouble planning and setting goals for yourself etc.

[@jenrich111]

😭🎶🎉💕👍emotional regulation, staying on task, take long walks with your pet. Completing small goals(big goals broken down nicely) gives our brain dopamine which helps us focus. Positive feedback loop 💕

[@empress9554]

Oh my god is this what I have?!?!?

[@bellachance1206]

@@jenrich111❤👍🏻

[@97indianuk]

@@jenrich111 Thank you your comment made my day

[@mallikabirla]

You know what, no wonder

[@elisecode2212]

i really struggle with initiation. starting schoolwork, getting ready for bed, pretty much any task is difficult if not impossible. and i'm super disorganized, in terms of both my time and my environment. i can't deal with schedules and to-do lists.

[@lilyblue4922]

Same, lists just make me anxious because I know I will fall behind schedule for sure

[@conman20000]

I would love to be able to put my self on a schedule, but to actually make myself do it is another story.

[@ModMINI]

I've made schedules, but then I just actively ignore the schedules.

[@craiginzana]

This is interesting. I recently was telling my sister about something I call “the resistance” that I feel like I’m constantly fighting to do anything I want to do. I’ll end up laying on the couch for hours KNOWING I need to get up and wanting to get up and get to work but I just can’t seem to make my body move. She said that would fall under executive dysfunction (which is how I ended up here) but most of those things you list I don’t struggle with at all. But this was still really interesting to learn about.

[@farahshabana5237]

Same! And the fact that I don't struggle with most of the things mentioned in this video makes me go back to thinking that I just procrastinate, but I really hope that I have executive dysfunction because it will make me hate myself less for constantly being on the edge of destroying my future :')

[@hussain55019]

Same is my case.I even fought with myself in figuring out my problem.

[@mashakalinkina7207]

Same. I think a lot of folks deal with some degree of a couple of these things. I struggle w/initiation outside of a rigid structure for things I’m not excited about. It just takes more energy to push past that threshold. But can’t relate to any of the others. A lot of folks would probably benefit from tools meant to help with executive function.

[@jennys9043]

This sounds a lot like a How To ADHD video about the motivation bridge/gap. Another awesome youtuber!

[@sarahni]

This is exactly what I'm doing right now, I have so much to do but I just can't get up

[@Vicvines]

I like how you say we instead of you

[@user-qp1jh5vm8m]

Is autism a separate and isolated disorder not am i isolating from society?

[@BetaBuxDelux]

I don’t - it seems disingenuous.

[@user-qp1jh5vm8m]

@@BetaBuxDelux put this is a dictionary

[@user-qp6ts2dp5g]

Same

[@katiewhite190]

Watching this while sitting in my disaster of a house. Depression is fun.

[@Amm100100]

Wow I felt that :/

[@neitherherenorthere70]

It is !

[@suziemohamed3326]

I understand. Me too. 🎉

[@themsday]

:(

[@connorstephens7467]

At least you have a house...I’m still renting from my parents at 27. Now that’s depressing. :/

[@GreyAngel786]

I always get major anxiety when I plan my day where I just end up doing nothing 🙄

[@sapphic7779]

omg same

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

Same

[@oooo1743]

Just go with the flow

[@funtoonslmao8388]

Same

[@rosiewhitfield123]

That has to be extremely difficult for you. It seems to me you may benefit from someone you trust or can have a service help with assistance to do life more easily than what your dealing with. You don’t have to do it all alone especially when your eligible for such. Most people don’t ask to be in rut. It’s hard to dig yourself out of them. I’m not any better off than you. I struggle with some daily tasks. It’s not easy to get things done all the time. You can only try to do what you can if your without assistance.

[@OliverHatched]

If I don't write down everything I need to get done, my thoughts feel like the keys with wings from Harry Potter, chaotically and aggressively flying around my headspace. Sometimes I can't even tidy my living room unless I write down the individual and specific steps to complete the task. Executive dysfunction is a major part of why I'm disabled by my mental state.

[@recoveringsoul755]

Sarah Acree Thats why i always needed a caledar, day planner, phone calendar, and to synchronize them several times a week. Now i have none and nothing gets done. I was telling my last therapist what I'd done while looking in my phone.,stuff like eating and showering and when i slept. She asked "you wrote that down?" Like its unusual, then wrote some note to herself. I didnt feel safe. Everytime she scribbled notes i felt like there was something wrong with me.

[@OliverHatched]

Yep, exactly. And I know what you mean, feeling judged or defective. Sometimes I don't realize that I'm behaving in an unusual way until I see someone else reacting to me. Always remind yourself that your therapist has to make observations to help you!

[@recoveringsoul755]

Sarah Acree my prior therapist never took notes. Maybe after I left. This one was an intern. So she wasn't as good.

[@pizzinify8249]

completly true

[@graceneumann3544]

I HAVE USED THIS ANALOGY SO MANY TIMES oh my gosh I thought I was the only one.

[@Maiden_to_mother]

I can’t even tell you the door this just opened for me. Like holy shit I don’t feel alone, I feel validated in my seemingly “unnecessary “ struggles. 100% taking this to my counselor.

[@subliminalmuse]

Same, I didn’t know there was a term for what I am struggling with

[@DamianoftheRyans]

🤗🤣😇

[@HassamAlizai]

Fuck yea. Same!

[@puddinghoax]

my executive dysfunction is really difficult to work around cause even when i do plan out my week and set a schedule for what i need to do, i can never seem to follow through since all my tasks feel so big that my anxiety just renders me useless. like, i know i can get work done, but it's like i've forgotten how to do it effectively and my anxiety is both pushing me to be productive while also hindering that process. especially this past week, i've been meaning to catch up on school and complete some artwork and a bunch of other stuff but i haven't been able to do more than open a textbook and then immediately get scared and recede into my comfort activities which is usually just reading stuff. i also have the issue of being kind of afraid of needing to process new information. so having to read ny textbooks, or just reading/watching something new is so daunting that i just end up not doing anything for days or weeks on end. what sucks most though is that it's bled into my being an artist, so actually producing work feels impossible when it's usually the thing that would be relaxing to me.

[@amaliar6510]

this is my exact day to day life

[@missSuperAnnie]

Mine too.

[@blaxicanevolving6648]

This! My life. Even down to the artwork.

[@choosejoy93]

Oh my god.. the first paragraph in particular really resonates with me!!!! I can set all the alarms I want on my phone and when they go off I still usually ignore them because it just feels like it's too big of an ordeal even if I know the thing will only take like 5-10 minutes. I've tried using a time block (I think that's what it's called..?) app and it helps for a while... then I lose my momentum and I stop.... then I start up again weeks or months later...same thing happens. Then I thought I could use it for 2-3 days a week so I'm days aren't too structured, cause that can be an issue for me too...that hasn't worked because then I forget to create the schedule for the random days instead of it being an nightly routine. I've thought for so long now that I'm just lazy and disinterested and a terrible procrastinator. But yesterday a friend if mine began talking about how hard it is for her to accomplish simple tasks because they feel like the biggest hurdle and when i said that I felt the same she said it sounded like executive dysfunction. I feel relieved that there is a real reason for this issue in my life...that I'm not crazy...and yet it feels like the hardest thing to correct and work on.. 😓🙃😵‍💫

[@SaffronRice]

You just described my life as well, all the way down to the art bit 😭

[@MayonnaiseJane]

What's heeeeeeeeelarious about all this is that because of the focus on executive dysfunction as an organization problem, I've been super-trained to organize. That's no longer a problem. They trained that out of me hard core as a kid after my ADHD diagnosis. I've got charts and plans and organizers out my rear... and a huge mega problem with Initiation, Shifting and Working Memory, because no one thought to help with that back then. lol.

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad you have been able to organize more and manage that, I hope you are still able to get some professional support so you can work through any issues with initiation, shifting and working memory :) xoxo

[@MayonnaiseJane]

Thanks! I have a LMFT I see but the ADHD things kind of got back-burnered to the C-PTSD* things, and then when I resolved those we terminated. Lol. Mostly I've just structured my life to avoid problems in those areas, at least for my job. I work IT Helpdesk, so I don't have to self-initiate or plan or manage my time at all. They call me, I fix it, I wait for the next call. I probably could use to work on it anyway though because I usually wind up home from work doing one thing for the rest of the evening even though I wanted to do several. (*Unplanned first born, mum with a serous case of fleas, 'defective'... yadda yadda...) Is there really anything to be done for the working memory part? I kind of figured it was like... a hardware issue. Not enough RAM kind of thing.

[@amberhawksong]

Mayonnaise Jane same, plus time management.

[@ThoughtProvokingVlogs]

Whoa so lucky. They tried training me a lot as a kid too. Sadly didnt work and I spend most of my days trying to find my phone

[@Ilselovesall]

omg same, I can easily schedule things and am quite organizes already as a person, but getting tasks started is always my biggest problem, like I have to write an essay? I know what I have to do, and I can have a time period planned for it, but if I can't get started what is the point of those other aspects?? Like all the advise I have found so far is just like, sit down and start, and that's just impossible

[@yElLoWjAcKeT14141]

I’ve been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, and you’ve just described my whole life.

[@user-qq7pf1nj8l]

How did u manage it

[@caitlinc9463]

I have ADHD and pretty severe executive dysfunction as a consequence. In order to do anything I have to set alarms so I remember to eat and drink bc otherwise I will literally just not do it?? I feel like this isn't talked about enough especially as it can literally lead to physical health problems if people can't carry certain things out

[@MayonnaiseJane]

I either eat a whole jar of pretzels because I started and forgot to stop, or forget to eat until I get the sugar shakes and feel faint. Oops.

[@Ilamarea]

You sure the eating problem isn't just caused by your medication? It's one of the most basic side effects of most ADHD medication and you should be VERY aware of that precisely because of the possible health problems it can lead to.

[@BagelBagelBagel]

When I finally got my diet and dosage of adderall (which involved titrating dosages UP and extending duration), I realized that my "appetite suppression" was actually an ineffectual, blanket way of describing an aversion to certain types/qualities of food. I constantly indulge strong cravings for sweet, smooth or salty mostly with fruit, smoothies, soups, nuts, and a whole lot more fruit.

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so so much for sharing!! It's great that more people know this can be part of it as well. xoxo

[@nvmindem]

Omg I know what you're talking about. I live alone for the first time in my life and there are moments or even weeks when I have to really force myself to do basic things like eat or shower. It's not about appetite, because I do get hungry, but I just can't physically bring myself to do that task, it's like I'm thinking "I should go to the kitchen and get/make some food" and the command simply doesn't go from the brain to the body. For me, I don't think executive dysfunction is caused by ADHD, but it's probably linked with my depression and depersonalization/derealization

[@libbycatherine]

Kati how do I stop oversharing?? I’m not sure why I do it but sometimes things just flow from my mouth, only to later regret being so “open.” And then I feel bad and I’m not sure if I feel that way because I’ve crossed a boundary or if it’s some other reason. So where’s the line? How do we know? And when we overstep, how do we fix it?

[@danamuller5016]

Yeah I just met a guy at a train and we talked a lot. After that he didn't ask for my number and I guess it's because I shared too much information.

[@tess2082]

libbycatherine great question, i do the same thing. With me i'm pretty sure it's because i don't have anyone close enough to vent to, so it just comes out to random people. Maybe it's the same for you?

[@wolfferoni]

I don't think you should assume you shared too much info because someone you met didn't ask for your number. You didn't ask for his either so maybe he thinks the same thing. Sometimes people just have conversations with people and don't feel the need to keep in contact with them or they don't know if it would be appropriate. You never know.

[@anabelleb9919]

libbycatherine I feel you I over share a lot

[@Ryan-bi1ie]

Nicole Llih if someone did feel that way, what would that mean in relation to oversharing?

[@StephanieHarlow]

The problem with separating work and play areas is when you have to work at a computer- the internet is both work AND play, so it's extremely difficult to not get my thoughts constantly distracted and pulled all over the place. Focusing on getting a task done is hard enough already, but when it involves going online, it takes forever. For instance, here I am commenting on this youtube channel and I can't remember why I sat down at my computer.

[@Optimistic4ev]

Written instructions is always helpful for me. And it can be supportive for people, like myself, who are also visual learners. Great topic to discuss Kati.

[@toniboyer3322]

Optimistic4ever yes...def lists help so much for me too

[@Katimorton]

Thank you for sharing!!! I am glad you enjoyed the video :) xoxo

[@SomeGal]

Agreed Optimistic4ever!!

[@amygdala9679]

This helps so much with explaining it to my parents without sounding like a lazy mess. Tanks so much 💓

[@Katimorton]

Yay! So happy to help :) xoxo

[@terig8974]

I think I'm seriously going to have to save this video and rewatch it multiple times a week so I can start implementing all of the suggestions that were made. Unfortunately I just forgot half of them and information tends to get mixed up for me, but I'm not going to let that get in the way!

[@jenniferclark3125]

I’d forgotten I’d even subscribed today , just a couple of hours ago , and I’ve just realised by seeing the girls face ! Not what she’d said 🤔 I have executive dysfunction , but how and why do I feel I need to explain , without them thinking I’m making excuses for my self , luckily I do have high emotions , but I don’t get angry verbally , just occasionally when I am commenting on what somebody said about somebody else, when they have been rude about some one , I have to get stuck in there’s and defend the person being bullied, but in a message , There we go , And I always end up writing an essay not getting to the point. 😐, to write this I’ve had to check everything backwards because I’ve written lots of things twice and sometimes 3 times

[@alexandralederman9351]

I have never felt more understood!!! For years I thought I was just lazy and pathetic because my thoughts would jump everywhere, I'd become paralyzed by decisions others would find simple to answer, and multitasking being such a struggle. Thank you so much Kati. I feel so understood and validated.

[@jaydrago9485]

It really helps me when I am extremely overwhelmed to have somebody help me initiate a task.

[@cellogirl11rw55]

I have a form of executive dysfunction, called Sensory Processing Disorder, and I actually find it easier to relay messages by writing or typing them than by mouth because, when I do it by mouth, it's hard to spit it out. For example, when I call my soon-to-be husband to ask him to buy groceries on his way home, it goes something like this: "Hey honey. Um, would you mind getting some uh, uh, uh, some, some, some eggs, uh, bacon, and uh, uh, uh cheese before you leave?" It has taken me as long as 10 minutes to rattle off a list to him. But, it only takes me about a minute to write it out in a text message. As a matter of fact, when I was in high school, I held the record for the most words typed in one minute at 160wpm.

[@minshubay6740]

So that's Sensory Processing Disorder? I've been like this but I didn't know it's part of that.

[@kseniyakaryakina]

are you autistic? With the being able to write better than speak? Because I have both autism and sensory processing disorder but I thought sensory processing disorder isn’t out speaking by itself?

[@fionascheibel977]

I have deficits in all 8 areas.

[@cptnapollo4849]

when she was talking about it almost being impossible to organize a vacation literally broke my heart because i cant organize anything and it made me realize how hard its gonna be

[@AuggieAfton]

Its always so hard to explain to people what executive dysfunction is and how it's not just being "lazy." I can now show people this video to help them get a better understanding! Thank you so much for making it!!

[@AzulonKaiba]

I struggle in 4 points. I thought that executive functioning was only organization. Very interesting topic

[@Katimorton]

So glad it was helpful!! And yes it goes way beyond just organization! xoxo

[@ModMINI]

I struggle in all 8 points....

[@megbuchanan1630]

This is me to a tee. Mine comes from PTSD from past childhood/young adult abuses. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD with high functioning anexiety.. And now executive dysfunction...

[@natashaanne1980]

Thank you Kati. I feel less alone and a little less helpless because of your videos and the community youve created. Thank you. Youre such a beautiful, kind person xx

[@Katimorton]

Awe you are so welcome Natasha :) I am so glad I can be a helpful resource when you need it!! xoxo

[@vivianphillips768]

You’re never alone my dude!! I just got diagnosed and thought I was alone with this for so long. So glad to have a bit of a community now.

[@mikkykyluc5804]

Two of those points actually helped me! So I've been wanting to teach myself programming, right? But my work and play area are both on the computer, so it's easy to get sidetracked. Suddenly I realized: I can use my Linux operating system for programming, and my Windows for play! It requires a complete computer restart to switch between those, so they're well separated. Initiation is a very difficult one for me, but breaking it down into smaller ones or set time periods is brilliant. I think I'll just go do some programming right now, just this one chapter of this course, for at least 1 hour and 10 minutes. It's weird how suddenly it feels a lot more manageable... anyway off I go bye! o/

[@jpjpvds]

Would an avoidant personality disorder be considered an impairment of executive function??

[@jmallicat]

unfortunately for me as a person with ADHD, I struggle with these things frequently. I try my best to create a routine to get everything done but my job constantly piles extra work on me. This of course gives me great stress as I am thinking OMG I CAN NEVER GET THIS DONE and I tend to constantly be behind my own schedule and constantly stressed out. People don't seem to get that I am slightly different from them. They need to learn to work within my capabilities and I am going to do fabulously at everything. checkoff lists and reminders would do wonders for me.

[@devanpennington2188]

I’ve found that breaking down organizational tasks to the smallest detail and then being open to rearranging it all as I go along helps. Sometimes I have to wait for the right answer to reveal itself and do my best to not stress about it in the meantime.

[@yoramalon5273]

Executive dysfunction is definitely me. My essence. Since i do not perceive time as a continuum, schedule/setting goals/prioritising , is mission impossible. I sometimes lose track of the present day of the week. I can miss a whole day, unaccounted for. I missed two holidays, this year. I missed noticing two elections, and one war. I never noticed the corona virus, until people were wearing masks in the street.

[@amyd6292]

I would like to find out about ADHD and sensory meltdowns. I know this is something that happens to autistic people but it happens to me and I was diagnosed with ADHD and not Autism. I have tried to suggest to doctors I could have autism but no one will take me seriously. I also seriously have executive dysfunction issues which I think causes a lot of anxiety​ not being able to be a proper adult.

[@canadiansunrise4340]

Amy D I go through this sometimes. I also have adhd, since I was a child

[@benicio1967]

As a widow my mother really stayed on us hard about getting things done, cleaning, picking up the house and doing yard work. She was always harping on us but She never really taught us anything about how to organize our lives how to keep a schedule how to set goals how to plan for our lives, college or careers. I’ve been lost all my life. There was never any structure in our house, just constant demands and orders to carry out tasks. We all got burned out at young ages but we never really learned how to handle daily life. I’ve never really known what to do. Our mother was big on manners and social skills but she didn’t teach us so many important things. Now I’m unemployed and I feel paralyzed. I don’t how to resolve problems and I don’t know how to initiate a path for my life. It’s terrifying not know what goals to even set. My life is an absolute mess and I’m clueless about what to do.

[@naeshelle]

I know that this issue is not exclusive to ADHD but I really, really appreciate the attention you've been shedding on the disorder lately. One way that I like to combat my executive dysfunction by asking for time outs. When I'm arguing & I can feel myself get hot, I ask for a time out before I can say something really ugly. If I'm in a conversation & I can't keep up, I'll say "OK. Let's pause for a second because I want to make sure we're on the same page. This is what I think you're saying, is that right?" My favorite tactic to stop impulsiveness during conversation is to put my finger on my nose whenever I feel myself about to sign up for something I really can't handle or speak over someone. Oh, that's another thing. When I interrupt, I try to realize it as soon as possible & say "I'm apologize, I didn't mean to cut you off. Please continue."

[@ineffable-moss]

when i first heard someone explain this term (in a very basic way), i suspected i might suffer with executive dysfunction. watching this video that went in depth really solidified it. especially hearing you talk about shift. i've always said that i have to have at least a few days to emotionally deal with something major before i actually have to do it. there are some tips i've learned, though. the first one being getting a bullet journal, planner, or some sort of alarm system to keep on task. i especially recommend a bullet journal. there's no wrong way to bullet journal, and you won't feel bad if you miss a few days because there are no prewritten dates. another thing i suggest is to set yourself to do three things a day. which may sound daunting, but that list could look like: 1. get out of bed 2. brush your teeth 3. don't forget to eat something setting realistic goals for yourself makes initiating them so much easier.

[@coolhellu]

oof ive tried the list thing many times but i just.. randomly stop doing it when its been like a week or maybe week and a half. i dont have any motivation at all lol

[@JeronBro]

Journaling in different ways has helped me tremendously. Voice, writing, listing and even drawing my streams of thought help me to eventually organize them and get a birds eye view on what’s going on up there to prioritize them. I sometimes number them to identify what’s least and most important to me. Issa lifestyle, a marathon, but it really helps.

[@mariaschannel8143]

Katie, could you please talk about how parents can best help and support a depressed almost 16 year old daughter? She withdraws to her room watching KZbin, TV, playing video games and when I check in on (careful not to barge in) her she gets angry and irritated, and does not want contact. I so want to connect with her and be there for her, but my being her mother disqualifies me automatically to give advice on getting out of bed, getting active or getting involved in recovery. Her dad and I are walking on eggshells around her not to give her a reason to lash out and further disconnect from us (does our nervousness further aid her depression? I’m frightened to demand anything from her, because she is so depressed. How do I ask her to get active when she gets so angry, I don’t want further distance between us!?). I understand she is struggling with depression and we have gone to a psychologist once, and she has more sessions scheduled, but my daughter refused to speak a word to the psychologist during the first session. I see treatment and perhaps medication as a very important road to recovery, but my daughter does not really want to go to sessions. I would like to her to comprehend that she herself plays a big part in recovery by the deliberate choices she makes, and that someone else just cannot “fix” her- we need her to try to help herself too. So therefore, what is the best course of action to “inspire” my daughter to “want to” get better, to recognise her own agency in getting better, go to treatment and accept that we want to help her, not embarrass her? I think she wants to ignore how she feels, but when school starts in the fall she will not be able to keep up her grades, and her schoolwork and social life risk to completely collapse. I want to help her before this is an irreversible fact... (She has refused to go to school for a period of time earlier and she has also cut herself during April this year.) Her father and I Iove her so very much but she pushes us away getting angry when we try to speak with her about these things. But respecting her space can never mean that we will desert her alone in her pain and struggle with depression! How can we best help her to want to get better and to want to receive treatment and work with the psychologist (CBT) that wants to treat her? (It has taken more than a month to get an appointment with a psychologist, and now that she has gotten the chance to treatment she refuses to work with the psychologist!) What to do? Please advice us how to best help switch her mindset and to see that treatment and self-awareness is the way out of depression and the only lasting solution for her to gain a more fulfilling life.

[@recoveringsoul755]

Maria's channel Maybe she wasn't comfortable with the therapist. I wish I was offered therapy at that age. I just wrote in journals and had a couple of friends. Children that age don't want to share everything with their parents, and alot of that depends on how the parents react. I tried to keep open lines of communication with mine, tried not to be judgemental, tried to understand their point of view. I like the movie Good Will Hunting. He went through lots of therapists before finding one up to the task. Wish I could find a therapist like that. Maybe she could watch it with you? I also played video games with my kids, and watched them play. Find out what she likes and do it with her. Maybe a puzzle? I'm not Katy, just a parent.

[@Wishful---Thinking]

As a fellow parent with an 18 year old struggling with anxiety, depression and ADHD, one course of treatment besides meds has been Emotion Focused Therapy. After a year of weekly sessions my DD now has asked me to attend with her. A major positive move. I recently asked her what she gets out of her therapy and she listed affirmation, understanding of herself and others, perspective, and other positive things I can't recall right now. Maybe EFT is for your kiddo too? I know we failed totally with the charts, stickers, planner approach. All my best to you and your family. PS this individual therapist is at least no. 5 over the course of 4-5 years. So don't get too worked up about therapist rejection. Just keep trying and collect hints from your DD and her psychiatrist as to what might help. Even with this success my DD did get behind in school and so even school was contributing to her issues despite an IEP.

[@shelbymachado8712]

So speaking as someone who has had experience being the person effected by depressive episodes as well as a support person to those who have it. Some major things that can help: -acknowledge if anxiety is also a factor. If it is. Your kid is already thinking all of the things you're afraid of. Probably ten times for every one time you're thinking of it. So it's not a question of getting her to understand why it's important. That's not where the dysfunction lies. When anxiety plays a role, it can mean that the fear of not being good enough. Or of getting hurt or rejected gets in the way of trying. That also explains anger. Because it's frustrating having one more person point out just how hard they're struggling when they're already berating themselves for doing so. 2. When someone is depressed, a lot of the time, the best way to continue to establish connections is through the coping mechanisms they are using. Maybe let KZbin be something you can watch together. Engage with what she finds interesting and comforting. Genuinely allow it into your space and your emotional space. A lot of the support is emotional bolstering and does not engage with logic or discourse at all. It's about BEING there for the person. Not trying to change their mind. Your support protects the person's energy from the depression. It helps them recharge so that in moments where the fog clears, the energy is waiting for them.

[@mikelmontoya2965]

Thank you so much for this Kati. I've struggled badly with this all my life, and now that I've started college and living on my own it's worse than ever. I've failed nine out of ten subjects this year (most of them with a zero) and I've been completely unable to keep my flat minimally tidy and clean at all. Also I haven't made even one friend in college and in the city I've moved to, so I've felt really lonely a this year (at least now I'm back home for the summer and some of my friends from here are going to move with me this September). The worst thing is that everyone (specially my parents) seems to think I'm just a spoiled, lazy kid and that everything is my fault. Nobody seems to understand that I'm unable (at least right now) to get passing grades since I'm "intellectually gifted" (not a big fan of this term). I know the problem actually is that I have extremely low (like almost nonexistent) executive functioning skills, but the few times I've tried explaining it to some of my friends they didn't understand it or didn't believe me and thought I was just making excuses. I'm also quite positive (like 99,999...% positive) I have ASD and ADHD, but the therapist I started seeing a month ago seems to be very skeptical about all of this, and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't think I'll be able to succeed in life if I don't get the help and understanding I need, but it seems like I'll have to wait for a really long time to get any of this. I try to stay hopeful, but it's increasingly hard.

[@Katimorton]

I hope you can find a therapist or other professional to understands what you are going through (maybe look for an ADHD or ASD specialist).. and then you can work with your college to get the help you need to succeed :) xoxo

[@minicoopertn]

It takes me at least twice as long to complete a task than other people but if I try to use lists or organizers it then takes me 3 or 4 times longer. When I bounce between task and instructions it confuses me more and everything takes longer.

[@Anna-tc6rz]

Another tip I've found is to set specific ring tones for specific tasks. After awhile it gets to the point I'll hear a tone and immediately start doing it without thinking.For example your reminder to work out could be "we will rock you", a tone for bedtime could be something soothing, even the tone for different chores I need to do are different. I have alarms for everything, literally. Wake up and contemplate if I need my job(5min), get up chug water then stretch, get in the shower, be ready(15 min before I actually have to leave), leave for work, about 30min after I get home theres alarms for what to do specifically(laundry, dishes, etc), set everything I need for the next day(with a list) get ready for bed, stretch, sleep. The more I plan my day down to specifically what I'll be doing the better I do. I dont have kids so it may not work for everyone but you should try it. Especially if you can get your kids on a set schedule too. Just make sure to add at least 5-15 min extra to do a task so if you run over it doesnt throw your day off. When I get done early I feel so accomplished.

[@MikeOtranto]

I struggle with ADD and executive functioning. I run a successful business so I have developed strategies to compensate for these deficits. I think executive functioning is something that can always be improved!

[@janecherrytree]

Love how I find so many people having issues with getting started...working on those issues. I have just watched the video for the first time and got a whiff of hopelessness because "how am I gonna keep track on that if I can't keep track on anything else?"

[@InternetDude]

You nailed it, I have this with some ADHD. Every day simple things can be a struggle.

[@laquiviahand8077]

Thank you kati.. it's not easy getting the day started.. even the most smallest of task takes time.wow glad to know they have a term for it. Namaste.

[@Katimorton]

So glad the video was helpful :) xoxo

[@buddhafx5973]

Lovely Kati, for those of us with ASD/AS, even though not being in the official criterias, executive funtionning difficulties are often part of our lives. Thanks for your highly valuable work you're offering us. You're one of the greats here over YT.

[@jonbryant610]

BUDDHA FX I have 6 disorders and all but one are not symptoms of ASD so I basically have ASD and Tourettes Syndrome.

[@IndigoMel78]

This sounds like me. Unfortunately been called lazy when that’s not the case at all. I get incredibly overwhelmed by the simplest things.

[@p.a.7075]

These pieces to the diagnosis sound a lot like what people with a traumatic brain injury, (TBI), dementia or Alzheimer's struggle with. I used to have a mind like a steel trap. (Thankfully when it rusted, it remained open. :) ) I always associated my issues with what you listed as being a part of the Fibromyalgia I developed years ago. Or the face plant into the ground when running for the kickball. After all, I was momentarily stunned and friends helped by holding me as I "walked it off". Surprising there could be such a diagnosis. (Why, I'm not sure. I've watched many of your videos and have learned so much. There's no reason not to think there could be a diagnosis for most things.) I do several of the tips you've offered. Yay for that much! I get to stop beating myself up for these irritatingly annoying memory lapses. Forgetting what someone had said just moments after being told it can lead to a scolding. Mind you, I'm in my 50's! To be scolded hurts and angers me. In turn, I become angrier and more frustrated with myself. Now, I feel more hopeful. And for that, Kati Morton, I am grateful.

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad that video was helpful!!! yay!! This can occur to people who have had a stroke or other brain issues.. so it's possible that TBI could lead to is as well. xxoo

[@neuralmute]

Wow -thank you so very much for this! I've been living with Executive Dysfunction, along with being on the Autistic Spectrum, and serious clinical Depression for most of my life. I often treat myself badly, because I score highly on IQ tests, always did well i school, have an excellent long-term memory for facts (or at least the ones that interest me), but at the same time cannot hold a "normal" job, and struggle with interpersonal relationships. The more I learn about how my strangely wired brain works, the better I get at coping with these challenges, and the more I'm able to actually do. Lists are my best friends - a notebook full of lists is a must have for my day-to-day existence! Now if could only get my working memory up to speed in ballet class... XP

[@MeredithAvila]

It sounds like doing all of those things in order to remind myself and organize myself would take all day just to make the list, and that's if I even remember everything that I need to put on the list. This is my problem when planning things I plan the planning and then I never get around to doing the thing or even finish the planning.

[@voitmusic]

I had no idea what my problems were called. Thanks for breaking this down and giving those great suggestions. I think being depressed and avoidant after trauma and being on the Asperger's spectrum has made my dysfunction get more and more serious over the years.

[@Groundwater24]

Zoinks!! Tick all the boxes and it is so tough and frustrating. Cptsd & adhd can be a monumental challenge. Having controlling people around me for decades has also taken its toll. However, since discarding them, things improved 1000%. I’m a bugger for multiple lists and rewriting the same lists. Also, I am now embracing the fact that, my condition(s) were meant to be since my unbelievable and unexplainable spiritual awakening. Make time for yourself and do stuff that makes you happy.

[@connorstephens7467]

I just came to the realization that my whole life I’ve struggled with this and I had no idea this was a thing. I just thought it was just something that I had to deal with...not knowing what it was exactly. Thank you.

[@SilverTigerPower]

this sounds like how a "normal' person would correct their issues without the burden of just existing being overwhelming... i know thats how i feel almost 24'7 and any extra steps is just way too much

[@valerieamaya8426]

My husband struggles with this daily. I’m definitely going to have him start using some of these tips to help manage it.

[@AUnicorn666]

Oh my executive functioning is so terrible....

[@blaccmoon6664]

thankyou kati for this video, though your not my therapist I feel a strong connection that you totaly understand us, kinions are the best strongest group 💕xox

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! So happy to be able to help :) xoxo

[@julyol119]

That's a great topic! For me and my ADHD, problems with a executive functioning are constantly there. What helps me *a lot* is bullet journaling. I guess, it's somehow like regular journaling, but more fun. There is a ton of videos on that here on youtube and tutorials and ideas on pinterest. I can really recommend it to anyone, who struggles with forgetting important stuff as much as having a hard time keeping daylie routines up. And btw. routines... It's really hard to admit, but building habits makes life way easier. And even though I'm saying this, something inside me is screaming '**** this'. But it's true. Habits mean you don't have to think about it. Building one is work. But afterwards, it's so much easier.

[@aeryinaviolet]

now here's a kicker: executive dysfunction but paired with an inability to switch tasks. so when you set an alarm or schedule, it doesn't matter because you can't do the thing anyway. yeah, the prep period would help. thank you for that actually.

[@PearsAreOkay]

I love the help you have provided at the end, especially the bit about transitions. Thanks Katie!

[@stellastjarna2845]

Thank you for this great video! I just found your channel a few days ago and I really like your approach! Warm hugs from Sweden!

[@lordswampy2061]

One thing that’s helped me be more organized with my tasks is starting out small. Having a yearly planner and a weekly planner and a daily planner… didn’t help, in fact I could never use them. You can start out with a daily todo list and build up from there.

[@grumpyinbrooklyn6347]

This hits home hard for me, having ASD and ADHD Inattentive diagnoses! Nicely explained for an "intro" to the topic!

[@nicolegraves9145]

Small tip for those who struggles with to-do lists: though it is attempting to write one-two words, try to write meaningful sentences with verbs. Because future you will not have to guess what was meant by "do stuff". For example, instead of "chores" write "- wash dishes; - vacuum cleaning the couch; - go to market and buy food". It might look overwhelming in comparison to just "chores", but 1) it is, if you really need to do all this, this is a lot, so be honest with yourself; 2) you do not need to guess and remember every time, what exactly needs to be done; 3) helps to plan future activities, for example i can buy some food along with walking, etc. Also, thanks for the video! I was wondering, what's going on with me not planning vacation until the start of vacation. Now i know!

[@itstristanjames]

Thank you so much for making this video omg

[@tinaheald]

Thank you!

[@METALMAN41202]

This explains so much!

[@scoobyloobylou]

Thank you so much for this video! It explains some of struggles I have to a T... x

[@thatssohygge]

Thank you so much for this video!!

[@jenniferkennedy456]

Very useful!

[@casbt3]

So interesting, thanks a lot Kati I didnt know that trouble at all before!

[@CyberSolverYT]

I've been waiting for this video, thank you so much ❤️

[@Katimorton]

I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

[@PlanetImo]

Thanks for this. Very interesting. X

[@bleuberry9636]

Those with FASD often struggle with executive dysfunction. Good video, thanks.

[@elisecooper1942]

This was really helpful. Thank you.

[@ttalgiipssul]

The welcome at the beginning is just everything.❤

[@toniboyer3322]

im glad you posted this...my daughter and myself both have been diagnosed with this in our therapies...

[@cameron4638]

Wow I didn't realize this was a thing. This actually explains so much. Thanks for talking about this Kati!

[@jordansnow5649]

This describes me so well

[@berroneshealth9829]

Really cool stuff!

[@selfmadeguy7925]

I struggle with all 8 areas, thank you for this video, you have great suggestions! Multiple alarms leading up to a transition helps especially when I'm hyperfocusing (say I have to be on watch for when my sister gets dropped off from school, I have 3 alarms set at 30, 15, and 5 minutes before I need to head out.) It helps my brain not just dismiss it, because it thinks "ok, that's the third alarm, something important must be about to happen, look at your schedule.) Post it notes in specific areas around the house can help too, and other little visual reminders as well as a simple checklist for things like getting ready to leave the house (posted on the door) or getting ready for bed (posted in the bathroom) helps as well.

[@phyliciagordon2604]

Thank you so much for making this video! It almost feels like it was just for me

[@dinabertrand9113]

At 49, I have FINALLY come to realize that using these tools can be so helpful! I use Google Keep on my phone for everything! I have a folder for calls to make, meal plans, things to do today, places I want to explore, I even have a brain dump folder for whatever I need to get out of my head and remember for later. Thank you for this video

[@laurencaesar6678]

This is so interesting. I had never heard of this before, but I definitely relate to most of those things. Thanks Kati xx

[@victorias5587]

Very helpful ❤ thank you so much

[@Lillie-mae.Edwards]

Really enjoyed this kati ♥️ thank you as always

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So glad you enjoyed it :) xoxo

[@JanisFroehlig]

Perfect executive function 100% of the time is a pretty unicorn. Many of the people who are good at it are the ones with parents who drilled in the skills with modelling for their kids, but those folk also know how to really grok growth, and the need for the spaces (gaps) to do it. We all have them. Growth is good. Practice is necessary, even for the "experts."

[@flight-or-flight]

Hello Kati! Can you make a video on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? I feel like this a lesser known thing in the psychology world but everything I've heard about it makes me feel pretty understood. Thanks for all the great videos!

[@juliadesiree2021]

I just heard the term for the first time, I didn't know it is a thing. I thought I was very very weird, it is the most stressing part of being me, because it also applies to things I really want to, like travelling. Planning and executing everything is so hard, it always makes me anxious. I'm at a point now in my life where I realize that none of my goals or dreams can manifest if I keep being like this.. it's a very big trigger for anxiety, but I'm also determined to change myself. I don't want to let my life go by like this. 😢

[@jonanasbananas2944]

You are amazing.

[@gabbiefulton8604]

Thank you Kati for this video it has help me understand this disorder. Please do more video on this topic. It was great topic to talk about.

[@AlwaysPim]

Relevant and enlightening, it explains a lot. Thank you! I knew it was there but didn't know how to define it.

[@SoFCeO]

I was told by my pediatrician when i was in middle school that I have EF issues. Never paid any mind to it until this year (I'm 28). Best example is laundry. Want to start it, tell my girlfriend I want to start my laundry and that I'm going to do laundry today. Keep reminding myself internally and telling her, without her asking, that Im going to do it. Goes on for maybe a day or up to a week and then she starts it so I almost immediately jump in once I see her starting it. I havent been able to plan any vacations as adult, I talk and talk about it but can't put pen to paper. Damn the list just goes on lol. Thankfully my mom helped with many of my organizational and other more apparent issues so ive overcorrected in many areas so I get by just fine. Stay strong friends.

[@zzulm]

Thank you

[@LivingwithXXY]

Thank you for this video.

[@coolhellu]

thank you kati for this video!!! ive always thought i might have something because its just hard for me to do things but i thought im just a highly sensitive person.. now this makes even more sense! being highly sensitive is still hard to deal with but not as hard as having no organizational skills at all! and i hate that being spontaneous makes me feel anxious and not at all good. literally just the other day was out with a friend for some drinks and they suggested we stay out for the night and my heart just stopped because i didnt plan it. and even though i didnt jave anything waiting at home i just couldnt do it :/ anyway thank you for this !! now i know that im not alone!!!

[@brookepearson]

I'm thinking of showing this to my mom. Whether or not I have executive dysfunction, this is really relatable

[@boi905]

I strongly identify with all of these, so much so that I started getting overwhelmed when you started giving tips to try

[@TerryEinstein]

Same

[@benjibluebird]

Thanks for answering my question!! Such a stellar video. Worth the wait (: xoxo

[@JustMeAndThe2Boys]

Thanks for asking it!! I’ve been struggling with these issues progressing for a few years, but hadn’t thought to check if Kati had addressed it.

[@Katimorton]

Yay! So glad you thought I did a good job :) xoxo

[@jostewart3192]

I’m possibly just a very particular person but all of the things you said in this video and in the autism in females video relate to me and how I live but I think my family is too scared to get me diagnosed, like they are with my anxiety (possibly, I’m fairly certain I have anxiety.) I don’t want to self diagnose bc I know that it’s dangerous and possibly wrong but I want to know why my brain does what it does and how to make it easier!

[@scottmorizot1158]

There are a lot of barriers many people experience in the autism diagnosis process today across the board. A family that's scared by the possibility doesn't especially surprise me. Take it from someone who lived a lifetime as an undiagnosed autistic person with no clue they were autistic, I think it's better to have some idea than not. I was in a really bad place when I was finally diagnosed and even then I was only diagnosed because I had accidentally figured it out for myself. I sought formal diagnose because my countering internal voice was so strong. It seemed to fit, but then I would list all the reasons it couldn't possibly be true. Fortunately, assessment and diagnosis were accessible to me. For a lot of people, that's just not the case. It's still better, I think, to have some idea and learn ways to take care of yourself than not. A lot of things online are not helpful at all or even contain misinformation. That was hard for me to weed through. The Ask an Autistic! youtube video series contains a lot of very helpful information. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jZbbdIqQha94bKM It's not an active blog, but I also found a lot of helpful information that's categorized in really helpful ways here. musingsofanaspie.com/ If it helps your concern, in the past couple of years I haven't run into anyone who seriously believed they might be autistic and who found a lot of similarities with us who suddenly discovered they weren't. The ways our brains work seem to be different enough from non-autistic people that if you truly feel like it fits, it probably does. No, everyone is *not* "a little bit autistic". Yes, we are all human and autistic experience is still rooted in our shared underlying human experience. But it is also pretty different in a lot of ways. No, self-diagnosis is not the best option, but in the reality of our world today, sometimes it's the best available one. Good luck!

[@TheLoveIsOverrited]

Jo Stewart im 26 and i just this year got diagnosed with autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD And depression, and fighting to get a diagnose is the best thing i done for myself. Knowing why i work the way i do and how to manage it and use it in a positive way gave me hope for tomorrow. If you feel like a diagnose is going to help you, im sure it will. I dont know how old you are, but maby try to talk to your parents more, present them with facts and maby treatment options, that might make them less scared? And also tell them why and how it would help you. Try to be calm and prepare for it and maby write things down to help you not get side traked. Read up so you know what you are talking about and try to start a konversation and let them ask quetions. Often parents might be against it because they are scared and dont have alot of real facts of what it means. (Oh, and if nothing else you can Always get it anyway when you are an adult😘) i hope it Will work out ❤❤

[@jostewart3192]

Sandra Ahlin Thank you ! 💙 I definitely should be brave enough to look more into it and present my parents with facts and be more purposeful with helping myself. I appreciate so much your support and that you replied to help me know I’m not alone. I’m not too far off being an adult and then I can do it all on my own! I’m so happy for you that you got diagnosed and are now helping yourself, too! That was very brave of you. I hope you have an amazing day and continue to grow and improve (and look after yourself!)

[@TheLoveIsOverrited]

Jo Stewart im happy i was helpfull. Take your time to make sure you are well prepared to help with nerves and be brave! The Good things in life dont come easy, we have to work hard for it, but it makes it so worth it in the end. ❤ You are not alone, i Believe in you.🙌 ❤ Take controll over your life and work on making it a happier one. ❤❤

[@mikelmontoya2965]

Sandra Ahlin your comment has given me hope. I also think I have ASD, ADHD and possibly OCD and depression/BPD/BD/something like that, and I struggle so badly with my life. This year I started college and living on my own it's been a total disaster. I haven't made even a single friend in college or in the city I now live, I've failed 9 out of 10 subjects, and have been completely unable to keep my flat in minimal livable conditions (also I've lost like ten kg since I don't know how to cook and forget all the time to but food etc). The worst thing is that everyone seems to think I'm just a spoiled, lazy kid, even the therapist I started seeing last month and who I told I think I have ASD, and she seems to be really skeptical about diagnosing me with anything. I don't think I'll ever succed in life if I don't get the help and understanding I need. So I'll fight as hard as possible to get this diagnosis (at least the ASD one, I really, REALLY need that one).