My Autistic Life : Adjustments I Made After My Autism Diagnosis

What happens after getting diagnosed as autistic when you're already an adult? First, a lot of questions - but then the realization that some big changes are needed in order to develop a lifestyle that can work in an overstimulating, overwhelming world. In this video, we dive into 6 adjustments I've made after learning I'm on the autism spectrum, from the unique perspective of an autistic adult with ADHD who also happens to be an educator. While this isn't meant for diagnostic purposes, it's designed to shed light on various aspects of autism, offering insights and real-life examples.
From adjusting expectations of myself to building work habits - and food and clothing choices - that fit my autistic lifestyle, and much more, we'll explore some things that have worked for me since my autism diagnosis in the hopes that it might be able to spark ideas for others on what could improve their personal or work life after learning they are autistic.
Whether you're on the autism spectrum, suspect you might be, work with autistics, or are simply interested in learning more, this video has something for you. I'm here to provide an insider's look at the unique perspectives of someone autistic with the goal of helping people better understand me and other AuDHDers in order to help us all live and work better together in a neurodiverse world.
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📌 Timestamps:
00:00 - Intro
00:24 - No. 1: Adjusting My Own Expectations for Myself & Giving Time for Interests
02:24 - No. 2: Changing Work Habits
06:45 - No. 3: Reducing Social Events & Outings to Crowded Places
08:45 - No. 4: Asking Other to Adjust for Me
11:00 - No. 5: Eat What I Want to Eat
13:04 - No. 6: Wear What I Want to Wear
🎥 WATCH NEXT:
1. 7 Autism Myths BUSTED by an Autistic
• 7 Autism Myths BUSTED ...
2. 5 Signs You Might Be Autistic
• 5 Signs You Might Be A...
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2. Ono Roller: onoroller.com?sca_ref=4880234.xpzLrB3REJ (use our coupon code CHRISANDDEBBY for 10% off!)
📚 FAVORITE BOOKS
1. Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy (Steph Jones): amzn.to/3v3Axyr
-- NOTE: This is about SO much more than therapy!! Highly recommend for anyone who is autistic or wants to learn more about how it feels to be AuDHD
2. Un-Typical (Pete Wharmby): amzn.to/40TEfG6
🎧 FAVORITE HEADPHONES
1. Soundcore Noise Canceling Headphones: amzn.to/3LMkWIn
2. Bose Noise Canceling Headphones: amzn.to/3tegj3t
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💤 FAVORITE SLEEP ITEMS
1. Manta Sleep Masks: bit.ly/4acwSy3
2. Rest Duvet (amazing cooling comforters, sheets, and other bedding - perfect for hot sleepers and autistics who struggle with regulating temperature while sleeping!) : bit.ly/chrisanddebbyrestduvet
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⭐️ ABOUT US:
I'm Chris and alongside Debby, my brilliant partner, we've traveled, founded companies, and navigated the world as a neurodiverse duo.
Whether it's better understanding the autistic mind, getting productivity tips for ADHDers, neurodiverse relationship hacks and travel tales, or just a peek into our everyday life, we've got a lot to share. So if you want to join a community that's all about improving lives, you're in the right place. Give a thumbs up if you enjoy the video, drop your thoughts in the comments, and hey, maybe consider subscribing? Cheers to a better life!
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#autistic #autism #neurodiversity #mentalhealth #autismawareness #ASD #actuallyautistic #autismsupport #adhdandautism #livingwithautism #neurodivergent #AuDHD #autismdiagnosis #audhder #autisticlife #latediagnosedautistic #mentalhealthjourney #mentalhealthawareness #understandingautism #autismadvocate #autismadvocacy #autismacceptance

[@ubernerrd]

The biggest change I've made so far is that I refuse to feel guilty for enjoying the things that I enjoy.

[@ChrisandDebby]

That’s a really important change! It helps in so many ways.

[@lightawake]

I dislike eating in front of people I don't know, especially going out. It feels too intimate and vulnerable to me. But I love good food and eating out and socialising with a wine! But I also get anxious in an unfamiliar new place. So I'm always battling my wants and anxieties😆

[@samaro1791]

I don't like eating with strangers, either. When I had roommates in college, I'd usually wait until they were out to cook and eat. Added note: But I do like going out to eat with friends so long as the place isn't loud or crowded, but it has to have a familiar menu (the choices can be overwhelming).

[@RatsPicklesandMusic]

Adjustments I've made as a female: no make up. And this one took bravery: I cut most of my hair off. It was really long. But it was a sensory nightmare for me. Short hair is SO much more comfortable to me physically!!!

[@naginiriddle7091]

Ok, is that what it is!?!?! I just thought I hated my long hair. That makes so much more sense now. I should definitely get my hair cut

[@CricketGirrl]

I struggle with with. My husband didn't like short hair. Of course, he doesn't stop me because it's my hair, but I still want to look good for him.

[@Sarah-ht7cs]

Its interesting that our experiences can be so varied. I'm actually growing my hair out. I had it short-ish for a long time but it was so unmanageable and kept falling in my face. I don't like it too short because it makes me feel masculine and isn't a good look on me. It feels easier to me now and I can just pull it back into a ponytail if i want. The only thing I don't like is the way it feels when it's wet. So I always wrap it in a towel first thing and its not too much of an issue. ❤But anyway, I commend you for doing you your way! ❤

[@SkittyScatt94]

I also cut my hair off when I realized it was a sensory nightmare. I also cut short bangs to keep the hair out of my face. I already don't wear makeup except eye makeup occasionally for self expression.

[@naginiriddle7091]

Double commenting to say that I indeed got my hair cut and it is soooooooo much better. I don't feel uncomfortable anymore 😅

[@TeriHargraveartist]

I have come to terms, as a woman that I cannot wear makeup. I've tried, oh, how I've tried. But, nope! All I can think when it's on my face is, 'I'm wearing makeup, I'm wearing makeup', and so on.... Plus, of course I've got to wear those soft clothes! Thanks Chris for your honest and humorous videos!

[@PatchworkDragon]

Don't rub your eye. Don't do it. Don't even think ab - aww, too late.

[@beatev3192]

I also hate nail polish,, it feels wrong

[@TheElza191]

finally i found someone who shares my experience😭 When I was younger I tried to tolerate makeup, but i couldn't stand the feeling of it - it felt like a foreign substance that would've make me to peel my skin off. And the lipstick... whenever i ate food or licked lips accidentally - it had such offputting taste and texture.

[@TeriHargraveartist]

@@beatev3192 yes!

[@TeriHargraveartist]

@@TheElza191 welcome friend!

[@debralaforest9274]

Female diagnosed with ASD at 59. I hate eating in front of those I don’t know well. Must wear soft clothes and no matter what I do my hair is messy or wild so I just run with it.

[@Sarah-ht7cs]

Hi! Just turned 60. I can't believe some of the stupid things I used to wear to fit in. Panty hose? OMG! Glad to be an old fart and not care. No, actually I do still care but my FIRST priority is COMFORT. BTW, I'm picturing you LITERALLY running with messy hair😅

[@workingdogslog3442]

I identify with so much of what you are sahing here. Everyone in my life has mentioned I likely have autism. I kept saying no no till my oldest son is 13. He has autism. He was diagnosed at 2. We are so similar. He asked me if I am also autistic. I was like no I’m not. He then said no way he can be either then… then he laughed. It was a big ah ha moment. This is why I identify with him more than my other children. Our life experiences have been so similar. He’s amazing. I have started being kinder to myself like I am towards him.

[@stephiechefy]

There are sneaky ways to get vegetables in. Check anything that says “kid friendly”. 🙂 You’ll find lots of tricks.

[@HomeFromFarAway]

vegetables are overrated. if you can manage to eat liver pate or even periperi chicken liver, you just don't need veg.

[@KF0999-yg2sn]

Newly diagnosed AuDHDer - this is my life, I just haven't had the courage to make all the right adjustments yet..... Thx for the great range of videos

[@moonyfruit]

Several months ago, I (33F) was fed up with whatever has been going on with me my whole life. I've tried to figure some things out myself in the past and came across some things like BPD, Bipolar, etc. and none of them fit like a glove. There were some big things that fit, but quite a few things that didn't. I'd kind of given up. But, having come across Autism and ADHD, which I ignored cause so many other people have said to me throughout my life, "There's no way you have it." I got incredibly curious when a video of an autstic lady popped up on my suggested, and a short of a man that didn't think he was autistic that ended up getting diagnosed -- I thought: WOW. All of this applies to me. I got curious and took one self assessment and scored in the middle of the autistic range. This prompted me to take the cat-q. 144. My sister has a new coworker that recently was diagnosed (he's in his early 20s), and I'd only ever felt like I really connected with someone I just met any more than a girl I was friends with in high school that was diagnosed with asperger's as a small child. My husband is very supportive of me talking to someone (a professional), but there are still so many people in my life that seem to not be taking me very seriously. Talking to a professional is also VERY expensive, much less even one that is experienced with women. There are NO professionals in my area that even see adults with autism (you know children grow up, right?). I just want to know. I want to know why it always seems like people expect me to be a circle with a circle brain and I'm a square with a triangle brain. When I say everything is too much, I really mean *everything.* I want to be able to accept myself more and know what I can do to make everything easier. Thank you (and other creators) for these videos and resources. Hopefully, I can find a professional willing to talk to me that I can afford. Edit: THE NEEDOH CUBE IS REAL. I just got one at Walmart a couple days ago, and as soon as I opened it... There's so much. Light touch and it gives in, quick taps it doesn't, you can mold it, look though it with all the bendy colors... GET ONE OMG.

[@nannywhumpers5702]

I end up eating with my hands a lot when it might not be appropriate for an adult. I long ago learned to not care about the looks, I'm a sloppy eater, I can't help it. Bring on the napkins! I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one, thanks or sharing.

[@Jeremus717]

Every single time I watch one of your videos, I feel like you are my brother from another mother. All of the things you talk about here are the same struggles that I have. And that feeling when you hit the jackpot and go to the movies with your wife and you are the only two there... Magic.

[@ChrisandDebby]

Oh that jackpot is one I’ve only had a couple times but yes, complete magic 🙌 Glad to hear that these videos are connecting with you! It’s been so helpful for me to also hear how many people share similar experiences and characteristics - makes me know that we are not alone on this! Thanks for being here 😊

[@JerrTheHooman]

I love the way you describe your experiences. You paint a perfect mental picture! I screen record clips of certain things you say to send to my husband to explain my experiences with certain things 😂 the Itchiness thing and clothing textures and tags... they have been a problem since childhood. As a kid, I'd literally cry until I got sick until my mom would let me change. She thought it was a tantrum, looking back, it was my sensory issues because to THIS DAY, I will want to pull my hair out If my clothes are uncomfortable. Comfy clothes can get uncomfortable when I'm stressed about other things in general. And then the dreaded ITCH. YOU JUST ITCH SO MUCH. THEN THE ITCH SPREADS TO PLACES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CLOTHES ANYMORE 😂 *brain swells, is the perfect description* 😂😂😂😂😂

[@joan.nao1246]

Chris, you are a true blessing to so many ❤

[@gwenhwyfarsdottir]

I got my diagnosis just six months ago, after years and years of recurring burnouts. I'm watching the second point on your list kind of teary-eyed, because I'm currently going through massive autistic burnout (again), on sick leave from work because of it (again), and very anxious about the future because my job can't accommodate me in ways I'd need in order to be able to work without burning out every 6-12 months. Not because they don't want to, but because my job, by nature, is not one that can easily accommodate ND folks' differing needs, flexible schedules etc... so I'm perpetually exhausted and wondering if I really need to go back to uni in my mid-thirties to find an occupation that would be more accommodating. Right now my exhausted brain can't even begin to think about what I could possibly do, I'd need to rest for quite some time to be able to recover and think about it, but in today's society it seems rest is not allowed.

[@ChrisandDebby]

I know what you mean! I’m in burnout right now too and it’s been a real struggle. It’s lasted for about 6 months now, so I’m focusing all my limited brainpower and energy on getting better. I also can greatly empathize with your anxiety about having to return back to work and be engulfed in an environment that will put you back into burnout fairly quickly. Do you have to go back to university and get a degree to be able to switch occupations? Maybe you don’t need to. What are things you are really interested in? What are things that bring you joy? I’m wondering if you started brainstorming a list (I know even doing this can be a struggle when you’re in burnout) you might be able to identify an opportunity. I would recommend figuring out a way to work for yourself. There’s so many jobs one could do. I’ve also found that us autistics, because of the intense passion we show for our interests, we get really really good at what we do. You’d have more control over your schedule and more importantly, your environment. Something to think about!!

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

I've been in severe autistic burnout for three years. Git my diagnosis at 57, totally done in from no one listening to me when i expressed my needs. I couldn't explain why I needed them, so I was just needy and difficult my entire life.

[@iolightning]

Consider being an independent consultant. I had a full-time job that didn't have much flexibility: international business development in a technical field. I burned out so hard (with physical issues from the stress) that my primary care doctor put me on medical leave for five months. That's when I got diagnosed for autism. It felt like a risk to try independent consulting. I set myself goals for building up a client base, and if I hadn't met those goals, I would have probably gone back to a "normal" corporate job. Luckily, I'm now advising companies on the same things I used to do full time, yet I have more control over my hours and work. While not making as much as a full-time job, I'm a lot healthier and a lot happier. You may be surprised what can translate into independent consulting! One more bit of advice: develop a sense of self-compassion. Accept that there are ways neurotypical people can push themselves -- rewarded in the corporate world -- that simply aren't good for you. On the other hand, you may have skills and abilities, especially if you have a special interest that lines up with your work, that are pretty dazzling to witness!

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

@@iolightning right now just the thought of doing that puts me in so much overwhelm! Maybe when I have healed more.

[@alexandrawalters8953]

SO many great suggestions and observations. Thank you ☮️

[@ckerart]

I was recently diagnosed at age 22, and I appreciate this channel a lot, informative and very entertaining 😃

[@CricketGirrl]

I'm autistic (diagnosed 10/23 at 49yo), and I hate eating in front of people! I'm a really messy eater.

[@workingdogslog3442]

I work 7 days a week too, with a. Decently flexible schedule because I’m the same way. I love my work.

[@AvoryFaucette]

Oooooh checking out those shirts, thanks! An autistic friend just gave me two hoodies that don't fit her right, score! I will admit the friend thing is a little harder to implement when most of your friends are also autistic because *no* one wants to leave their house 😂😂but your setup sounds pretty sweet!

[@cathleenbaldwinmaggi2252]

LOL my Grandkids and I have changed 'sorry' to 'sorry, not sorry' when it has to do with doing what is best for ourselves. On the food... I ate the same thing everyday for almost 3 years and once I stopped I have never had it again and I'm OK with that!

[@mandyb1372]

Totally relate to your video. It's funny that there's so many things that I felt I "realized and accepted about myself" (is the way I've thought about it) in my 30's that were just traits of my adhd or autism. I am a twin, born two months premature, and spent those first two months in an incubator at the hospital. I feel like that was probably good enough conditions for my prefrontal cortex to under-develop. Also my mom is undiagnosed ocd/hoarder with a lot of trauma she never unpacked. Back to my point- I realized that "I deeper than most people do," is the way I described it to myself, and once to someone I was dating, but they turned it around to make it sound like I was looking down on them. I just meant when things hurt, they hurt so deeply, and when I do get upset, it's blinding, I don't know. I could never explain it my entire life up until then; that I cried often because, "I don't know," when I was a kid, was really that I didn't feel understood and I was frustrated. and then the feeling of disappointment or fear from crying just made it worse. When your family bullies you for just being yourself, it forces you to put on a mask that you wear so long, and protect for so long, that you believe it is yourself until you have a meltdown. I did find what you said about the mall funny. I definitely don't like slow walkers or people who just stop in traffic or shoulder push you, or cough in your face at the mall. But for so long, if I wanted to go into a store and the only person in there was the person working, I would not be able to do it, because I did not want to talk to them at all. It wasn't until I was with other people my age and we were at the mall and I would see what they would say to the workers and I could have a comfortable dialogue and expectations from the conversation without a spotlight being put on me. One thing I've noticed about myself recently that probably has been a thing for a lot of my life, is that when I'm with a group of people, and I'm not engaged in the conversation that's happening, even though it appears to be a group conversation, I will just up and walk away. And I now get that it's seen as rude but something else captures my attention and I'm gone. I never really thought anyone noticed since I wasn't actively involved. Adjustments I've made- realizing that just because there's an expectation to be social at an event, doesn't mean that I have to be. Stopped calling people "friends" that aren't, and not attending every social invite. Eating the foods that I like- most of the time- I am in a relationship with a NT and we still switch off making dinner on weeknights and all meals on the weekends so I have to eat food that doesn't always make my senses happy. I don't always finish a meal if it makes me feel icky, though.

[@DrewSprague1218]

Regarding clothing, I've adjusted to wearing comfy clothes (for the same reasons mentioned in the video) in all black or all gray because I find wearing colorful clothing distracting and anxiety inducing. [also, Dx w/ ADHD at 36, Dx w/ autism a year ago at 38]

[@maidofcornwall]

There have also been adjustments made in my family's lives too and I'm grateful for that. It's one of the main reasons that I wanted a proper diagnosis. So that I could turn around and give them a reason for my odd requests and behaviour. Because until I had that reason, I was just being selfish, awkward or pedantic in their eyes. What I was surprised to discover about myself, is just how much I made myself do and how much I tolerated before the diagnosis. I made myself so stressed out all the time from trying to be like everyone else. Things would really bother me sometimes, but I could see other people getting on normally, so I tried to as well. Now I cut myself a bit of slack. I still feel guilty if I need to take a few hours to myself and sit down quietly, but at least I do it (I'm working on the guilt side of it). One thing that does stand out. As the boss you are able to just walk away from a meeting if you need to. Even if I'd had my diagnosis when I worked, as an employee that would've been seen as high treason to walk out of a meeting! Sadly, I can't imagine that much has changed recently in that respect, and I hope I'm very wrong. Yes there are some great companies out there that would make allowances. But to most, time is money, and if someone has to take an hour out to recharge, that's money to them and that's all they care about. I haven't worn jeans for years now. Women's jeans in the shops these days just feel slimy to me. I prefer the old fashioned 100% cotton jeans we used to be able to get. For a while I wore mens jeans because they were okay. They didn't fit properly, but at least they weren't slimy, and they had actual pockets! I love your videos, they always make me smile. Thank you xx

[@skeovkp48598]

I've made massive readjustments to my life to try and accommodate my autistic needs, but I think your tolerance and energy wanes as you get older (I'm 64) to the point where it feels nigh-on impossible to earn enough to live on. Whatever I try, however much I trim down my life, I'm permanently exhausted. These are great suggestions though - I wish I knew about them forty years ago. I think it's incredibly important to do these things when you're younger to avoid the permanently burnt-out feeling that results from a life without diagnosis, or very late diagnosis, and of not understanding your neurodiversity and giving priority to your needs.

[@dinosaursandsippycup]

This is so helpful! Thank you for sharing these things!

[@alisonduffy6206]

thanks again for spreading the word in such an endearing fashion

[@AndreaCrisp]

Thank you for sharing this! I don't have an official diagnosis, but I have come to realize that I am definitely a high masking autistic woman after getting an ADHD-I diagnosis over two years ago and hanging out on Neurodivergent KZbin Channels since. I am also now ill and disabled from MS. In large part, because of the constant burnout. Now that I am ill my ability to mask is almost nonexistent. I had no idea how much brain power it took (plus physical energy) until I started having cognitive issues. I am currently underweight due to digestive issues (an unfortunate cascade from the MS). My sensory issues are all more pronounced with food and everything. I have no appetite. I really need to just eat whatever I want. I've been doing it a bit, but you just gave me permission to really step up the self-care around some of these sensory issues that I've been slowly coming to terms with. Thank you!

[@ChrisandDebby]

I’m glad this was helpful and autistic burnout is no joke! What you’re describing is almost exactly like what I have had when in burnout too. (But without the MS, which sounds really challenging.) You never realize how much you put into appearing “normal” until you understand that those feelings aren’t normal, and then it’s almost like everything becomes a bit harder after. I’ve read it is common after diagnosis to experience burnout just from this, so with all your challenges right now, it’s amazing how you’re giving yourself more permission to just do what you need to do. I hope the sensory issues improve with those adjustments too! I also have a video that’ll be shared tomorrow about food and how complicated it can be for autistic people - would love to hear your thoughts if you catch it. Thanks for sharing your experiences 😊

[@AndreaCrisp]

@@ChrisandDebby thank you so much for your response. I will definitely check out the new video. I really appreciate your sharing your experience. Informational, funny and helpful. It's so important to realize that we aren't alone in our struggles.

[@natassiatavares4568]

I have no idea if I have autism or not, I definately have adhd and I related so much with this video!

[@jeanelarson]

I loved this. I always say that the benefit of COVID times was divorcing my "business attire." Does wearing heels make me a better accountant? Quite the opposite, my friend. And your examples of physical reactions to draining conversations are so very relatable. Thank you for sharing.

[@ChrisandDebby]

I never understood how women could wear high heels! Debby never does and I don’t blame her. I don’t even like the way high heels sound.

[@marianadave5392]

Here in Brazil autistics have special rights by the law. And people are aware of that. One of the major adjustment I did is to, when I am at a store, or dinner, I ask :"could you please turn the music off, or turn off this light, or turn off the air condicioner" and I say "I am autistic". So usually I have my special need respected and done. I realized that they do can switch somethings just because of me, if they want to, even though there is a lot of other people at the place too.

[@julianleemcfarland]

Part where you monstered out on the imaginary food. Omg awesome buddy

[@Beckyg1016]

The two biggest adjustmens I've made (and my husband has made along with me) are the "I can eat the foods I want to eat, the way I want to eat them" (as long as I eat my veggies - dang those spouses for making us eat our veggies!) and "do what I enjoy/need to do" - for 30 years I fought fidgeting and playing with toys because I was told it was inappropriate, but now at 37 I have Needoh cubes and popper balls and I play kids video games and I watch what I want, even if its a "kids" show.

[@ChrisandDebby]

Yay!!! Me too!!

[@Kimjay464]

My therapist suggested that I make some adjustments, mainly because I am masking at work, the same way you did. I’m not quite comfortable to disclose to my coworkers yet. For other things, I don’t go to any social events and I usually get food delivered so I don’t have to go shopping

[@teribartusek1125]

Well done bro! Lol! God bless you and keep you in the breakthrough mode!!

[@MarleyDay]

Those are GREAT adjustments ♥ I'm really trying to implement those, and it is a difficult journey. I'm finding ways to soothe myself other than food. I've recently watched your video on visual stimming and now I'm watching kaleidoscopes on YT 🥰 they are really helping.

[@tylerherchian7167]

Spectacular 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@justicevanpool9025]

Ask for the vegetables, just pretend it's not really food. Try not preparing it in any way whatsoever and eating it with your fingers as if it were just extremely flavorless chips that you are only eating for your body to feel better. As you said letting go of expectations is extremely important, and always expecting food to have certain flavor or to be pleasurable to a certain degree can be as stressful as expecting yourself to perform at certain levels at all times

[@caraziegel7652]

i feel like i was able to do all of this without a diagnosis. i just observed myself and figured out how to maximize myself. I learned that i needed to break things down into bite-sized chunks, strike when the iron was at least warm. of course i never expected as much as running a company.

[@caraziegel7652]

last time i went to one of those giant club stores i pretty much had a panic attack and never went back. but now i'd mostly rather stay home. but i'm old. and have no friends.

[@caraziegel7652]

also my stomach doesnt react to stress much, but i volunteered to man the ev stall at a car show last month and couldnt function for 2 days after

[@Catlily5]

If you don't need a diagnosis that's great! I needed one because I kept doubting myself.

[@ronoberleitner7547]

Great sharing of your work and life lessons. Thank you! Wonder if you follow Cal Newport's podcasts, or have read his book 'Slow Productivity'. Is the message helpful to our autism community? (my adult son has profound autism).

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

The food thing is very serious. You don't have to eat vegetables, or anything else that disgusts you. It's your body, your choice my friend. Vegetables are disgusting if you ask me. If anyone shames you about not eating them, make a deal with them: You'll eat a plate of gooey over cooked broccoli if they'll eat gooey overcooked plate of dog sh*t. 'Cause that's EXACTLY what it's like. Teach them EMPATHY! ;-) Great channel!

[@ChrisandDebby]

Thanks for the comment. I enjoy reading your thoughts. I actually like eating some vegetables, I just forget to eat them… fairly often. But some vegetables are gross… really gross. And if they’re cooked so that they’re slimy, there’s no way I can eat them. And shaming is not good. I’m lucky because now nobody shames me into eating anything. Debby never shames me into eating or doing anything, especially since my diagnoses. She tries to get me to eat vegetables because she wants me to eat healthy. She’ll come up with funny ways to get me to remember, but she’s never upset or forceful about it. And if I decide I can’t do it, she’ll just tickle me.

[@ubernerrd]

Vegetables aren't bad if they're prepared properly. The trick is to avoid anything canned.

[@Catlily5]

​@@ubernerrdAnd don't overcook vegetables.

[@ms-literary6320]

I think the thing with vegetables , and food in general, is that different textures/tastes feel bad/good for different people. The trick is to find the combination of food that works for you. Some people love crunchy. Some people love soft. Neither are wrong. Just gotta find your thing.

[@julianleemcfarland]

I laughed so hard at food monster impression

[@drewvandagriff5657]

Do you recall where you got that particular hoodie?

[@gemmamorgan4847]

People can be really judgy about the way a person eats. I eat really slow and i am particular in how i eat my food. The main thing i get told is that i eat like a child. I mean, seriously, concentrate on your own food!

[@jonlilley2832]

I'd like to know more about your company(s). I'd like to do the same thing, but I'm not sure how to go about it or what I should focus on. Any advice?

[@malicias9314]

The cube seems not to be available in my country 😢😢😢 I was mainly focus on the cube the whole video😅😅

[@armadilloalien854]

I also really hate eating in front of people, because I am very particular about the way I eat food. I definitely feel a bit uncomfortable when I'm at lunch eating around people.

[@ChrisandDebby]

Me too!!

[@xyzxyzxyzxyzxyzxyz]

I'm sorry, I can't focus on what you are saying as long as I don't have one of those awesome-looking stim slimy-cubey-thingy. Where can I get one?

[@brionguthrie2061]

May be a help, may not. May also already be part of your… experiences? Unsure what word to choose here. But I often cover my mouth immediately after taking a bite to make sure my mouth is clean and if I need to chew some to be able to accommodate the oversized bites. Not particularly self conscious about chewing, but the lip licking. Particularly came up this week because salads are just. How do you not get messy having a dressed salad??

[@naginiriddle7091]

Ok, so.....question to any who can answer. What can I do if I can't make some of these adjustments? Like, I can't just take breaks whenever at work unfortunately. And as much as I would like to avoid groups, I just cannot. If I do, then I start to severely lack in other things because unfortunately, the world operates way too much on group settings. So what can I do to adjust for that? Any thoughts?

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

The only way I have managed to eat a decent variety of vegetables is by a recent discovery of super greens powder that I add to a glass of water and down like medicine 😂 It also keeps me constipation free!! Bonus!!

[@philipmanassa9970]

Omg the itch of the tags.. i cut all the tags of my new T shirts.

[@erinb2887]

You're so funny 👍😂🙏🏼

[@nkalisvaart]

Hi Chris, thanks for the videos. FYI, vegetables are not mandatory. They're not as healthy as we have been made to believe. (Research carnivoor: www.youtube.com/@KenDBerryMD, kzbin.info/www/bejne/h162oqqipqd-mrs).

[@bullymong1445]

OMG that gag at the broccoli. I know that was physically painful... I go through the same thing except I can't Even put it in my mouth if I know it'll hurt me like that. That's just horrible! I hate my veggies too but there are a few good ones I love and don't even need butter or seasoning. I can eat a can of whole kernel corn straight without complaint, but I can't do that with most veggies. things with horrible textures I might like the taste, but still impossible to eat solid onions and jalapenos. bad textures need to be powderized or liquified I'll never eat it. You couldn't beg me to do it if I was starving at 85 pounds. Honestly, I'm just happy with a bowl or two of bland ass tasteless white rice and I love it... I could live off rice. It's my safe food. Honestly, most of the adjustments I made for my autistic self weren't even done by me thinking about them(They happened more subconsciously and gradually than me actually thinking about them(like most of my decisions, I know they're good for me, but I haven't really put the puzzle together completely, which is why I can present as extremely spontaneous. I have put the thought into it but I really can't access Why all the time.)).

[@TheAlyconaria]

Broccoli is the worst! Potatoes are the safest 😊 Sweet potato and carrot can be OK too.

[@bullymong1445]

@@TheAlyconaria no broccoli done right with cheese and no texture can be good but pickles are my arch nemesis! Nothing about a pickle is good to me.

[@BipolarCourage]

Could you have done all those things without diagnosis?

[@ChrisandDebby]

This is a really really good question. I think eventually I would have made these adjustments without a diagnosis, but it would have taken longer. My mental and physical health would have had to deteriorate more before I would have accepted that I needed to make more adjustments and not have unrealistic expectations for myself. I think the biggest issue for me before my diagnosis was that I needed to ‘suck it up’ and do it, because not doing things meant I was weak. I needed to try harder and just push through. Other people didn’t seem to have the issues I was experiencing, so I kept telling myself to just try harder. After I was diagnosed, I learned to accept the fact I was autistic. Then I started diving in and learning about it. Once I better understood autism, it was much easier to give myself permission to make adjustments.

[@BipolarCourage]

@@ChrisandDebby that could be true for any diagnosis. Not being lazy. Have executive functioning challenges with mood (energy) fluctuations.

[@kwa_nguyen]

Hi. I was diagnosed with ADHD and 'mild borderline personality disorder.' I watched your video about your wife sharing her experience living with you, and I just watched this one... at 3:41am after I've just shot a wedding (I'm a photographer). And there's a lot of things I resonate with, but am also thinking (please don't get offended) 'wait - is this guy a narcissist?/ entitled / spoiled / diva / selfish/ etc., etc., like "I'm just gonna be me and not care, and it's justified because I'm autistic and special so forget you if you don't understand me or agree, then get lost, let's just save each other time and quickly know that we aren't for each other. Like, how do you know if it's that vs. okay, yeah, this is autism, and it's messed up? Like I can think of so many people that I judged and thought 'what a freaking selfish unaware person! How can they do or be like that without realizing the situation! A great example from today's wedding: The bride's mom and dad left ASAP as soon as they pushed for the family photo to be done before the ceremony started and before the groom's parents arrived, and when most other people arrived. They got the photo and quickly got out of there, and the bride said, 'yeah, I told you that was gonna happen, and yep, that's my mom, and she's just very sensitive to social settings and gets anxiety so hates this stuff, but she made a really good effort.' And I was like 'wait, what the heck, what a terrible person! It's your wedding day!' But!! Now after watching this video of yours. I'm like... wait. Maybe she's autistic! *mind blown!* And then I look at my behaviors and 'masking' and the things my poor wife has had to put up with, and now I'm like, holy moly!!! Am I freaking Autistic!? My dad was diagnosed schizophrenic, and my mom said his family and parents had all sorts of weird sorts of stories and situations but in Vietnam, they don't call it 'neurodivergent' or mental health challenges, but now at 36, I'm starting to put some dots together for myself and freaking heck, a weird one that just made me go 'holy moly!' Is that one time I got myself this super heavy weight blanket from Amazon, and I freaking loved it but not all the time but then my mother-in-law said what the heck is wrong with this guy! And she actually snuck into my apartment and took it! And said I would mess up the washing machine with this, and I'm such a strange person for even buying something so stupid. But I'm lying here right now at 3:55 am after shooting a wedding thinking about each and every interaction I had, analyzing everything I said and did, feeling pain and weirdness over my body now, and thinking 'heck, I could really use that heavy weighted blanket right now.' So. Am I ADHD with autism!? I'm kinda freaking out wanting to know, and I don't want to manifest something like this for myself to give myself another good 'excuse' to be a freaking jerk to my wife and people around me? Please help 🥲😭😱🤦🏻‍♂️🥵

[@cblaney3931]

@@kwa_nguyen I get what you are saying about narcissism, and it appears to be something that crops up often for autistic people. My best advice would be to Google 'autism vs narcissism' and watch some of the videos that explain the difference. Re your BPD diagnosis - a LOT of autistic adults get misdiagnosed for years - so maybe this is the case for you. Again, back to Google and KZbin. There is so much information out there to help you to decide if you might want to go for an autism assessment. Now, back to the narcissism thing again. I 100% get where Chris is coming from. I don't know if it's something that is exclusive to those diagnosed later in life, but after decades of beating yourself up for being weird, abnormal, odd, failing at life - all the negatives which mean you are basically not meeting the standards set by the NT world, it's actually quite joyful to be able to know WHY you are like that, and to start to advocate for yourself. The person has spent decades trying to fit in, and doing what others expect; it is quite liberating to say, 'No more! This is what I need', and when you feel better for stating your needs, the relief is amazing, so you do it again and again. And as Chris said, if those people are worth being in your life, they will stay. If not, then it's no great loss.

[@beepbeepmeepmeep]

​@kwa_nguyen edit: excuse me I misread your comment, as being a woman. However the following may still be relevant just adjust accordingly: very common for female autistics to be misdiagbosed as having borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder despite not endorsing enough points on the DSM criteria. This is because high masking is common in Autistic ADHD females, due to socialisation of girls being different. Look into autism in women and consider if this aligns more. Misdiagnosed female autistics have their meltdowns/shutdowns misdiagnosed as borderline sh, histrionics etc. Autiism is a developmental difference not at mental illness. However... undiagnosed autism can lead to mental health issues due to stress and lack of support. Unsupported autism can cause PTSD in itself; forced high masking can cause self hm events and SI. It can be hard for non specialist psychiatrists to differentiate from borderline. Borderline therapies are not appropriate for autsitcs and vice versa. Very important you get a proper diagnosis if you can. You cannot therapeutise your way to "healthy autism" anymore than you can to deafness. You need appropriate accommodations & information. Once you have clarity you can engage with confidence in appropriate treatment for borderline OR autism ADHD. Some autistics also have BPD but again, therapy must be autism informed. Good luck!

[@GuineaPig361]

12:24 That's called dyspraxia.

[@chriswalker3187]

How did you discover you were autistic. I was diagnosed adhd in 4th grade. However by adulthood the diagnosis changed to bipolar 1 with psychotic features. At 40 years old no treatment has stayed "working". A lot of the behaviors or situations you described fit me to a T.

[@ChrisandDebby]

My story is similar to yours in ways. I was diagnosed adhd around 10 years old and then was diagnosed with a number of things throughout my adult life. With each new diagnosis, I’d dive in and figure out ways of living that medical experts said would work. Well, nothing seemed to work. When Covid hit and governments started setting sudden and drastic limitations, my world was turned upside down and I started full speed down a path of utter and complete shit. Meltdowns, hopelessness, dark dark thoughts… basically bad stuff. During this time, my wife Debby started to do her own detective work and got organized with her observations and started researching. After about 2 years, she was confident it was autism. None of the other so called disorders seemed to check enough boxes. *A side note: I got lucky though with my wife Debby. She’s got an MS in educational psychology and has been working with neurodivergent children and their families for 15 years. Most individuals don’t have a Debby living with them and working around the clock to help figure out what’s happening inside. Her next challenge was getting me on board to the idea that I might be autistic. That took about a year. I rebelled after my first asd diagnosis, but was left with little else to do but face the writing on the wall after my second diagnosis. Being officially diagnosed with autism as an adult can be challenging because many therapists, doctors, and other medical professionals aren’t adequately trained to look for autism. They don’t understand it. They are relying on outdated research and biases that can prevent them from seeing what’s in front of their faces… autism. If bipolar isn’t ‘feeling’ quite right and doesn’t seem to answer questions about why or how your brain and body are doing certain things, get in with a medical professional who is good- one who understands autism. If you’re interested about how this might look, feel free to email me!

[@chriswalker3187]

@ChrisandDebby well I appreciate the thorough response. It doesn't totally make sense for me to be bipolar because what I experience or identify as mania is an anxiety induced panic that won't subside until resolution is found, Not the happy on top of the world feeling I've been told mania feels like. I couldn't describe what happy feels like. It's either depression or nothing at all. I do find strict routine comforting. Some of my behaviors have been described as hyper vigilant.

[@henryholden4052]

Does anyone else prefer standing when they eat? Is that my ADHD or Autism lol Also - It would genuinely changed my life if I NEVER had to go to the grocery store again AND if I NEVER had to prep a "main" meal for myself. It's not that I don't cook or don't enjoy it at times and don't make some yummy dishes, HOWEVER, having to think, plan, shop, and execute THREE meals EVERY SINGLE DAY?!?! That's where a lot of my spoons go and I sadly don't have the money to just buy all my meals ready made (and frozen meals are horrible on the digestion) womp womp

[@joeminella5315]

👍👍👍👍👍

[@Andre-qo5ek]

why did you eat raw broccoli... that seems to be why you do not like "vegetables" give it a roast, with lemon and garlic at the lest. for example... people thinkt hey like meat.. but very few people are eating raw unseasoned meat. good it ...with seasonings and dips. people seem to ACTUALLY like seasonings , dips, auces, marinades... and guess what... THOSE are made with vegetables. gotta change that frame of mind about veggies.

[@paratrooper73]

Watch the carnivore diet ❤ yup, also for autism, adhd, add etc

[@missoats8731]

Don't be a fool 🤣Recommending completely idiotic fad diets to people that will kill them in the long term...Without any basis in science. You should be ashamed.