Every Conservative Conference speech!

[@31Blaize]

I still think this was less loony than the actual conference 😂

[@MattGreenComedy]

Yes the actual speeches are genuinely frightening at times

[@31Blaize]

@@MattGreenComedy Absolutely terrifying! I'll be giving myself nightmares if I consider Cruella Braverman for one second as PM 😰

[@allmodcons2274]

It is very scary.

[@ToCoSo]

@@MattGreenComedy yep there was some guy who was complaining that they are going to try to stop hate speech and this will affect freedom of speech!!

[@tx5190]

... at that point I was asked to leave Madame Tussauds...😂😂😂

[@clydebear6914]

"Look, uniforms with armbands ARE practical!" 🤣🤣🤣

[@SamLowryDZ-015]

Yes the party is the 'Nat-C' party and yes you can 'see guile.'

[@Rami-ll2bq]

genius m8

[@neilrabbetts7703]

Oh what fun was had at the NAT-C event, you may even say it was a NAT-C Rally

[@sarkybugger5009]

Give them all a gold star and pack them off to Centre Parks for a well earned holiday.

[@stevedrane2364]

Brilliant. . Please attend their conference. . 🤣🤣

[@ToothbrushMan]

Very soon we'll be seeing armbands as acceptable form of ID at polling stations.

[@frankshailes3205]

The previous Nat-C/Nazi Party had a little badge.

[@aminechakak6460]

Liberals asked for papers to go grocery shopping pal.

[@martynjones8560]

Then, a little later, they'll be the ONLY form of ID.

[@tartytube]

"Some kind of patch" - so scary! Sent shivers through me. Brilliant as usual.

[@VerbalEarthworm]

Spot On! 🎯

[@eifionlewis7765]

Vicious but fair. And terrifying.

[@TheEvertw]

"Unless I shot them" priceless

[@tsr207]

Accurate as ever - Matt is now the main "goto" political source- now that the BBC news channel has given up ,(sorry, Prime minister have to stop you there - we need to let BBC World show a commercial while we show a feature on guide dogs!), Brilliant !

[@patrickyorke3028]

Absolutely superb Sir, unfortunately for us all just a little tad too real. .

[@Zero_Ninety]

Never thought I'd see a NatC rally in the UK.

[@andrewneil6027]

2:45 “This country is broke, yes we did that…that means we can put it back together” 🤯 U🤟

[@nickthenoodle9206]

I prefer the terms Voter Distillation and Electorate Correction - Both fantastic and sadly true.

[@stevena488]

Sensible Conservative Babies, for a Sensible Conservative Britain. Brought to you by AMERICA.

[@jacquelinedeigan776]

Love it.. absolutely brilliant..😅😅

[@maryfenton958]

I love this man, he makes me .laugh out loud! Just what I need!❤😂

[@seanduggan3453]

There are so many gems in this one. As the one seagull said to the other at the beach "There's hardly any need to aim."

[@Rami-ll2bq]

god forbid population start to think for themselves! the whole system of lies would crumble!

[@davidwuhrer6704]

A famous politician once said: How fortunate for the rulers that people don't think.

[@Rami-ll2bq]

@@davidwuhrer6704 the more i hear politicians speak, the more obvious it is that they really speak as if we all idiots, sad truth, the majority is. scared of foreigners while all murdrers i seen are from right here!🥲🥲

[@veegerman6135]

'Some sort of patch' Amusingly chilling!

[@zetectic7968]

So many zingers packed into 4 minutes. Really on form with this! Not so much poking fun at the Con-servatives, more dropping an anvil on them 👍

[@minskysfeedbackyianni1302]

@Zetectic You're not comparing the Tories to Wiley Coyote are you? Ok, fair enough!😉

[@rosemarystewart7405]

Hilarious as always Matt. Viciously and accurately funny 😂❤

[@soylentgreen326]

Matt Green for PM ❤ Policies by Tussaud’s 🎉

[@Anmeteor9663]

How can this stuff even be the subject of British satire? Truly terrifying that it has come to this.

[@Armetheon]

Can we just appreciate the level of effort that went into the backdrop for a second

[@Ology3121]

Johnson is ahead of the curve on off spring. Rumour has it the total number of children he's spaffed equates to the total number of Conservative seats they'll hold after the next election...😂😂

[@frankshailes3205]

Sadly the offspring will be thick, as the mothers all have the IQ of a tadpole. They must do to breed with him.

[@kevincox-qc9mc]

If only that were to come true it would be a very good thing

[@marvintpandroid2213]

The Nat.Cs

[@kevincox-qc9mc]

Lovely as always Matt. Exposing the dark, terrifying stupidity of this scion of the current government.

[@Tr1ckady]

Hilarious and sadly accurate

[@peterrenn6341]

"some sort of patch?" - OUCH!

[@hmallett]

It’s only because of this that I realised that the “inspiring quote” was from Gladiator, not from Gladiators. “Contenders, ready! Gladiators, ready!”

[@cdean2789]

That headmistress was scary.

[@fromgermany271]

„just because Germany messed it up“ I thought sending V1/2 was giving a hint, but looks like every kid needs to try the hot plate on it’s own. 😂😂

[@allmodcons2274]

I did think satire died over the last 13yrs. Thank you for reviving it. If you don't laugh, vendetta becomes a real thing..😱

[@ZolaClyde]

Perfect takedown of Suella’s horrid speech! 😂

[@breadcircuses6085]

Brilliant as always!

[@izzytrue8630]

More babies!!! I imagine the Tories will have to get rid of the bedroom tax!!!

[@Levenstone132]

Not much chance from that audience. Thankfully.

[@SkyEcho7]

'...& I don't want to be surrounded by dead birds - unless I shot them.' 😮😞

[@TheBearAndHer]

The line between conferences and rallies is beginning to become a little blurred methinks but that just might be due to me using the reading glasses I got out of a cracker at Christmas - can't recall what dear lady's name was now. Anyway, this marvelous speech has cleared up the woke-induced erectile dysfunction in my right arm a treat - it is now sticking out and as rigid as a broom handle. And...... as a result the number 19 bus is stopping to let me get on for once. Hoorah! This was brilliant Matt. Top hole quality throughout. Thank you.

[@JohnAllenRoyce]

Oh Matt, you keep giving me hope for humanity and it hurts so much. 😂😭

[@steves7013]

Nails & heads spinning to mind! You nailed it again Matt 🙏😂✊✊

[@hypereze]

“There’s nothing wrong with Nationalism per se, just because Germany “mucked it up” a couple of times… “ Seems like you went a bit far with that one for comic effect, except grotesquely I believe it is an actual quote from this week.

[@ai-d2121]

Perhaps chauvinism is a better term

[@martincopeland8153]

@@ai-d2121wasn’t Chauvin some sort of froggy johnie? Can’t have that.

[@smorris12]

Yep, a real quote. I heard it and my mouth literally dropped

[@minskysfeedbackyianni1302]

@smorris12 Haven't heard about that, who said it?

[@smorris12]

@@minskysfeedbackyianni1302 Didn't catch who it was. It was a passing bit in today's News Agents podcast

[@capt.bart.roberts4975]

You do swivel eyed tory so well.

[@weswheel4834]

Nicely setup, starting with "spoken with Thatcher" :D

[@johnledington6242]

He's a funny guy

[@martincopeland8153]

You can just see that 30p ex-miner, ex-Labour-Councillor President of Vice dressed in his Brown Uniform with its colourful armband; admit it you too have already had nightmares with him dressed that way and the Horst Wessel playing in the background. It’s what keeps us woke all night screaming.

[@leegosling]

Don’t be silly, be a smarty, watch out for the NatC Party

[@rsfaeges5298]

😂 Worth waking up for! (In North America)

[@Rami-ll2bq]

when satire is truth n news is satire, we in deep shit

[@capt.bart.roberts4975]

I have two theories at the moment, 1)We've taken a wrong turn down the trouser leg of time and into a satire universe. 😐 2)David Icke maybe on to something with the Reptilians! 🙃

[@ambient675]

So deep.

[@TheReubstar]

The strange thing is that this speech probably could have been made at the conference and taken seriously!

[@andrewgn7430]

Amazing… British politics must be the top rated show in the English speaking world by now! Truly - it swims between fiction, reality and nightmare 😮 You are a great guide Matt! Cheers

[@boxsterman77]

It's amazing how the right-wing here in the US resembles that of the UK.

[@geoffreynolds4740]

My I did enjoy it. Clever clogs comedy!

[@tonguelessghostofsin]

🤣 Superb stuff Matt!

[@chrissilver7719]

National socialyyyyyyeeehh 😂😂😂😂😂

[@lordbiro]

Horribly accurate 😂🤣💥

[@Mudge07]

Silly season is now officially open, thanks Matt. Post-election Blues blues singing from the balconies and rafters across the hinterland.

[@henrygingercat]

Mr. G. has obviously been ghost-writing for the current conference; if not then it's uncanny.

[@robertbruce7686]

CON is the word!

[@Amstermouse1]

Brilliant 👏 😂

[@burner9147]

I used to think how can these tory villains get any worse. And now they are openly fascists.

[@adrianrutterford762]

Nice Work Mr Green

[@nickjanczak9665]

They just need some really nice uniforms designed and manufactured for them by some descendent of Hugo Boss!

[@johnpoile1451]

AEG can do you a good price on ovens as well.

[@Alex-cw3rz]

Another great video

[@Grim_Beard]

We're one nation Conservatives: one people, one nation, one leader. Oh, and we think we finally have a solution to the 'immigrant problem'.

[@narannavan]

​@@roberttownrow3606 exactly

[@kacrichton4434]

Should be top of trending!! SPOT ON!

[@iainprendergast8311]

You’re almost been too kind, but you still at have out done yourself, well done.

[@mdkram]

I can guarantee an out-loud laugh with your skits, Matt. Great stuff!

[@zora_noamflannery2548]

- Word for word applies to us here in the States. How is that? International intrigue is afoot.

[@connclissmann6514]

More Conservative conferences! 😊

[@verttikoo2052]

😱 Nooo 😱 It means that we are going to have the Tory leadershit contest again 😭 Oh the horror 😱

[@xzcvdfxzc7256]

National Conservatives or NatCs for short

[@garytaylor6408]

Outstanding!

[@johannesvandenheuvel-1]

Wow! A topical layer cake filled with ingredients from the conservative underbelly. I immediately 'rewound' it for a second helping...

[@bahialynch3037]

Brilliant thanks 😂😂😂

[@timmieboy37]

Brilliant and right on the button as always! Thanks Matt!

[@sulalee7413]

I'm convinced! A patch it is then. 👍

[@eileenclark7744]

Brilliant

[@beltingtokra]

Pretty accurate tbf

[@ambient675]

This was perfect.

[@mcjs8640]

So scarily accurate. Funny and frightening at the same time. Very effective - but did you really have to bring up Thatcher? 🤢 I nearly brought up my tea! Carry on with the excellent work Matt. No-one does it quite like you! 👍

[@SavvyMoneyShow]

The problem with tory parody is it is hard to tell it from the truth

[@jenlewis9002]

Brilliant Matt! I mean, I presume this is your work and not just repeated verbatim. It's so hard to tell these days

[@MattGreenComedy]

Sadly more of it is verbatim than I'd like!

[@jenlewis9002]

@MattGreenComedy if we can hopefully get rid of this lot next GE and a more normal government mean the comedy is more sparse, you've defo got the option of writing speeches for the swivel-eyed loon conferences for extra income, if needed.

[@gavintempleton7264]

Are they planning Stud Farms?

[@weswheel4834]

More babies?? But I thought we were "full up"? Ohh, maybe it's okay as long as they're the right type of baby.

[@amanred9337]

He reminds me of David Cameron

[@jeff__w]

1:38 “voter distillation and electorate correction”

[@Rami-ll2bq]

🤣🤣🤣

[@aland155]

Superb!

[@ivanotoole26]

One point of order Matt - Its 'Pieeewtin' The posher the NatCon (I'm liking that term), the more likely they will add a few vowels to old Vlad's name.

[@minskysfeedbackyianni1302]

@Ivan O'Toole They are Nat C's. Nat C's by name, Nat C's by nature.

[@piccalillipit9211]

YEP - that pretty much sums it up...

[@Mark21767]

Great stuff 😂😂 Thanks Matt

[@leocordeiro81]

“Our young people need to feel they have a place in this country, because after Brexit we made absolutely sure they have no place in anyother country.” 🤦🤦🤦🤣🤣🤣

[@J0MBi]

He saved the best lines to the very end, but it's all 🎯

[@mattyb7183]

There is three days of this nonsense (!!!) Of a conference. I'm half expecting that by day 3 someone will be recommending that all undesirables should be "concentrated" into particular areas, where a "solution" could be suggested to deal with all the woke...

[@davidwuhrer6704]

They did in in Natal (now South Africa). It worked so well others tried it, too.

[@verttikoo2052]

Sharing like crazy 🥳

[@neiladam2832]

No need to watch the reports on this festival of the insane. I take it that 90% of what Matt said was taken verbatim from these ghouls?

[@nalodailec]

Sounded like that to me. Almost word for word in fact.

[@emmanuelcharlot1695]

Wish it were just a bad dream!