Dumb Things Smart Criminals Steal (w/Cracked)

[@ModernRogue]

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[@1218Draco]

“Brian & Jason Get Breeding” Alt Title

[@metern]

I have noticed that in every video you show a list of currency, you show both SEK and DKK (Swedish kroner and Danish kroner). But you let out NOK (Norwegian kroner). Its so typical American to mention Sweden or Denmark, but never Norway. We are they're closest neighbors. But still get let out🥺. Im Norwegian by the way 😁.🇳🇴

[@zlocksca]

You should do a video on largest quantity/value of goods stolen at a time by a single person maybe the "The Great Canadian Butter Heist" from Christmas time in 2021 will make the list.

[@Hyedrojin]

17:55 What's your favorite Pendulum album?

[@wolfrig2000]

As a Trucker, I can tell you we don't care where the freight came from or where it's going as long as we have the proper Bill of Lading that shows the shipper/reciever. 99% of the time the freight is described by numbers/codes and doesn't actually state what the product is, and a lot of the time we sleep in the sleeper while they load the freight so we don't even see anything but the last few pallets.

[@cheeseyoger]

God bless you all by the way. I worked retail at one point and was a part of unloading trucks. The sheer amount of product that you move is astonishing. You all literally sleep in your cars to move heaven and earth, I cannot imagine doing that as a job let alone a career.

[@wolfcwe]

It got even worse after Covid-19 terrorized the US population; a lot of shippers AND receivers wouldn't even let you anywhere NEAR the docks, face-mask or not. You basically had to eyeball where your freight was after pulling away from the dock and go "Yeah, SEEMS like the right amount," sign the bills, seal up the trailer and move to the next shipper or receiver.

[@JackBarlowStudios]

That’s why Brian had such an easy time: his daughter wanted a PS5, and he was like “I got a PS4 with no problem! I don’t know what the issue is!”

[@jek__]

Rookie mistake lol

[@TheBubbaclaw]

The nut story reminds me of what happened when my bother worked for Pepsi. A guy came in wearing a Pepsi stocker uniform, (the guys that stock shelves as businesses), and a hand dolly. He walked in like he belonged there, loaded up the dolly with cases of Pepsi products, and took them to his pickup truck. He did this FOUR TIMES and nobody even asked who he was until almost an hour after he left.

[@AlghostplaysMC]

I love how the guests just adopt a "Yes and" mentality once they understand that they are just kids

[@Mr_Phox]

I'm pretty sure Dr. Jordan Breeding exists only in a 'Yes and' mentality at all times.

[@IceMetalPunk]

Everyone is "just kids". Adults are a myth. The only difference between kids and adults is that society forces adults to pay for the things they want/need, and all of economics, business, professionalism, classism, etc. grows out of that.

[@danthesupplyman4113]

@@IceMetalPunk yes

[@sozeytozey]

@@danthesupplyman4113 and?

[@limepop340]

7:37 DM: Alright, Rogue’s got some pretty sweet options at level 3. Assassin leans into deception, you can go Arcane Trickster if you feel like dipping into spellcasting, and there’s Thief as a basic- Jason: Nut Thief. DM: What? Jason: Nut Thief. I want to steal nuts.

[@blackdragonxtra]

Well, I know the next subclass I homebrew...

[@n.henzler50]

Got my character concept. Now I just need a good Armenian name. Raffi Malakian, infamous nut thief!

[@hollywoodhobie]

Lego is another big theft problem. They very rarely lose their value and are often used as "currency" when facilitating illegal activities such as drug or gun sells (like high end art was in the 80s-90s) or just outright stolen and sold for cash online. Some sets even climb in value once they retire, so holding onto hot sets for years can increase the payout 3-10x fold. You can also break them down into small pieces, and make it much harder to trace (sometimes selling the exclusive minifigures can be enough cover the cost of the entire set alone).

[@philiphockenbury6563]

So Legos are a more stable currency than gold? Impressive.

[@hollywoodhobie]

@@philiphockenbury6563 actually 10 sets from 2001-2011 out performed gold for that time period. I haven't looked at the statistics in the last decade or so though.

[@thewingedporpoise]

a lot of sets grow in value over time simply because if someone wants to buy them, they don't have any other option, naturally there are a lot of different factors given popular lines so it's easiest to stick with big flashy sets in the more common lines, but rare colors are always very good too given the use in building, as well as rare pieces though sometimes the rarity can go down over time as it gets used more, and pieces in colors they aren't usually in are also very used this is a lot of stuff talking about value from a person who likes LEGO and watches enough of people who can afford to do that sort of shit on KZbin

[@Andrewthenext]

Never heard of anyone using Lego’s to buy drugs… 🤔

[@hollywoodhobie]

@@Andrewthenext Ironically (especially for this video) I originally read part of that information from a Cracked article in 2013

[@alexanderdumas123]

Some of this reminds me of a book i read called 'The Cuckoo's Egg' by Cliff Stoll, about a guy who was working as a sysadmin for the Lawrence Berkley National Lab, and in trying to figure out a 75 cent discrepancy, managed to track and help bring down a German hacking ring funded by Russia.

[@raver377]

i mean if you think about it, selling detergent to target IS a form of... money laundering...

[@Gdawg0331]

👍

[@thebigmanufacturer]

How do they launder the money if they're selling all their detergent

[@amuseliese]

@@thebigmanufacturer skim a little from the top. They don't seal the bottles. ;)

[@humanoid251]

The banter in this episode was top notch. Pretty cracked episode you might say 😏 Just slightly disappointed no one made a money laundering joke during the detergent segment Semi related story to the nut thing: my dad used to work in the almond fields and when they would harvest a pretty large amount of almonds would get left behind in tire tracks on the ground or on other vehicles so my dad would just bring them home. Every year we’d end up with like 5 3ft tall sacks full of almonds and we’d peel them by hand and we’d just have hella almonds to give to family and eat ourselves. Pain in the ass to peel and shell but pretty worth it for all those free almonds

[@scottskene8387]

"They will tell you to stop with the detergent", a detergent deterrent, if you will 🤔

[@ToxicMrSmith]

A laundry detergent deterrent.

[@ColonelSandersLite]

It certainly can't be said that these thieves are a stain on humanity.

[@therocknrollmillennial535]

Brian's all frazzled this episode! He even switched up left and right. This is why I watch the show, even though one might think that mistakes like that would be a detergent, uh, deterrent.

[@lens3973]

"worth more then a bitcorn" 14:24

[@DeviantOllam]

11:00 Also: cashews... You've never seen a cashew in a shell, have ya? 😉👍 They're not nuts, either, despite being the #1 or #2 item to ever be in mixed nuts assortment!

[@LordSither1]

not to mention a raw cashew is poisonous

[@DeviantOllam]

@@LordSither1 wow, today I learned... Or is this merely a ruse so you get to keep more cashews for yourself?? I'm on to you. 😂

[@jeremyhenion8231]

just finished watching parts of many vids from you, and fell on this, and made my comment above, even more relevant with the comment i'm leaving now.... holy crap, and yes this is all within this day

[@DeviantOllam]

@@jeremyhenion8231 a fine way to start the weekend! 😁👍

[@jeremyhenion8231]

@@DeviantOllam just crazy in more ways than one. i'm an installer, trying to contemplate starting a similar model to yours, but, well, i have lets say, insights to the faults from the beginning. in short.. i'd like to be you, with my knowledge/ideas

[@AnymMusic]

To screw with Jason some more. Strawberries aren't berries, yet Bananas are.

[@jessetheunending9357]

Not buying it 😝

[@devinm.6149]

@@jessetheunending9357 no Anym's right, strawberries are an aggregate fruit and are thus not considered true berries, however bananas meet all the criteria to be considered berries.

[@DeathKiller362]

@@jessetheunending9357 I would suggest buying it, they're pretty healthy

[@Lianthrelle]

Working at a grocery store I feel I should point out that Tide theft has been a huge issue for us for over a decade now. To the point where we got special stickers to put on Tide bottles that would show where you bought it from to prevent that Target resell strategy.

[@fae121]

When I worked at Best Buy we had a guy buy a ~$2500 laptop. He then refilled the box with clay and rags till it was about laptop weight and then resealed the box in plastic so it looked new so he could return it without the cashier opening it

[@jessieo3351]

I worked at Macy's they actually warned us that another location had a truck pull up, hook up to the last delivery (that hadn't been unloaded yet) and drove off.

[@yt650]

In the 60s, I worked for a car dealership in the parts department. We would make a run once a week to a warehouse in New Jersey and pick up GM parts. Some intelligent person in New York City called in parts orders for thousands and thousands of dollars worth of parts using the dealers identification number. They would hire someone off the street with a rental truck to go to the warehouse and pick the material up. It was unbelievably easy apparently. GM finally got smart and instituted some policies regarding pick ups at that warehouse or any warehouse. When it was my turn to go to that warehouse I would stick money in the breast pocket of the guy making entries on the login so I would get loaded earlier. Money talks.

[@jek__]

People consider soda to be something they arent willing to give up in an emergency? Geez, those companies have people firmly crushed in their thin aluminum grip

[@angriestjoker]

If there isn’t a nut crime based Netflix series by years end, I’m gonna be sorely disappointed. I need “Narcos, but it’s nuts” right now! 😂

[@marcogenovesi8570]

"Please don't do crimes" -- The Modern Rogue 2022

[@Theminecraftian772]

This was a hilarious and amazing episode! I really hope we get this group together again talking about amazing stupid stuff.

[@jmr]

My daughter was told her work "keeps a tab" on what people steal. Then when it hits a certain threshold they charge them with the whole shebang so the criminal charges are worth pursuing. EDIT: Anyone else get a Tide commercial?

[@PossGal]

She must work for Walmart or target

[@jmr]

@@PossGal No she doesn't. Is that their policy too?

[@PossGal]

@@jmr yep they will build a case up until you hit $500(or the local felony amount if its lower) and have you charged with felony theft instead of just petty theft which also why most tell their employees to just let the thieves go

[@jmr]

@@PossGal When I worked at a carryout decades ago they told us it was our job to get a description. Let them take what they want including money. It's the polices job to catch them.

[@PossGal]

@@jmr yeah that's pretty much the gist of how Walmart and Target operate now with a different thing than now they have cameras

[@QueArres]

I work at a grocery store, and at my first store (I moved to a new store after it closed), laundry detergent was a VERY popular theft item. I once saw a lady grab an armful of the stuff, run out the doors, dropping bottles all the way, and jumping on public transit with what she was able to hold onto. This was in the early 2000s, and it was a well-known secret that these thieves were reselling the detergent for profit. People steal a lot of weird things from grocery stores.

[@QueArres]

@@firelordkushroll That's the thing: the thieves sell it for UNDER market price, since they got the five finger discount, and thus turn a profit. Oftentimes, they were selling to lower-income households that couldn't afford the regular price.

[@QueArres]

@@firelordkushroll Lol it is certainly a valuable commodity.

[@QueArres]

@@firelordkushroll I feel like that requires more thought than some of these people are capable of.

[@crosancollosus]

here's a short true story related to the topic of the video. In my town there was a thief that used to go into people's yards at night and dig up bushes and flowers they wanted. My friend lost two rose bushes one night.

[@jamesahibbard]

Plus, if you steal a shrubbery, you'll get some Knights on your side.

[@davidoh14]

8:06 holding back the urge for a dirty joke during the nut segment was the best part

[@bradlybellant3975]

Im so glad you guys saved cracked i watched them for years

[@empressclown]

Modern Rogue and Cracked, the collaboration we didn't know we needed. Thanks, guys.

[@goatness]

Doughnuts aren't nuts?! It's in the name!

[@_i_am_da_monkey_7958]

wait what? those bastards lied to me!

[@ChrisCrond]

Crossover I didn't know I nedded but happy that I got!

[@MattDiver]

This is truly shocking. Cracked still exists?!

[@Ljplaysplanes]

Ngl this has always been my favourite style of video

[@cracked]

This looks like it's gonna be GOOD.

[@BlackCrossCrusader]

There's little in the way of humor that you guys have had expressed in a long time.

[@Aksel27]

"Peanuts aren't nuts?! It's in the name!" "Pea" is also in the name, Jason. Peanuts are peas.

[@BaldMancTwat]

Also, peas are fruit, so does that make peanuts officially a fruit?

[@DoubleDsp]

Jordan should of brought his broken stethoscope with him! I know the rogues would of called him out on it!😉👍😁

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I would never

[@neverohkay]

the whole nut conversation was basically the plot of The Nut Job.

[@MvZiCMaN]

These 3 have some really good Chemistry on Camera. Anyone else agree that we need more of them together!!?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Let's make it happen!

[@Trisepta777]

I used to work nights at Walmart and was stocking the detergent aisle. This couple came in and filled up 2 or 3 shopping carts full of detergent. It seemed suspicious so I told the manager about it. I thought they could possibly run out the door with it, but they went to the front to pay. I saw the manager again and was told the couple paid for it but they got it all for next to nothing because they used a coupon. It was an obviously fake coupon and didn't even work when scanned - it had to be put in manually by the manager.

[@IceMetalPunk]

Dammit, Jason, you're making me want to ask my DM if I can play a Nut Thief Rogue in our next campaign... he will definitely say no, but I can dream.

[@Ironic_Jihad]

Mentioning shrubbery w/o making a Monty Python joke is an unforgivable comedic faux pas.

[@williamjenkins4913]

The beginning was such shallow dive on shoplifting and boosting. The single person or two team shoplifters sell to their neighbors or a local corner store The people selling back to Target are not individuals. It also gangs out of Detroit (I worked in Michigan). They send a group to steal one or two bottles of tide from every store in one town in one day. Given how many Walgreens, Targets etc there are they produce a full truck load pretty quick. Since they can change town everyday without repetition they are hard to catch and can "produce" almost as much product as Tide itself. Murphy's comment about cutting Tide is no joke. Individuals will often covers their thefts by refilling a bottle with water as well as cutting the product they are selling with water. What you said about the level of punishment is also true. I have had the same guy arrested for stealing from my store at least 10 times. It barely affects his schedule. He is arrested at 10am sees a judge at 11am and released by 1pm.

[@OntarioBearHunter]

Cheese smuggling into Canada is a huge business due to tariffs on certain varieties.. pizza places can save 200 to 500 grand a year by buying grey market cheese brought in over the New York border. And you didn't mention the maple syrup theft valued around 20 million dollars

[@jan_harald]

those bushy thieves certainly became inspired by monty python.... or were the pythons in the shrubbery ring all along?!?!?!

[@jadedelite]

Regarding the investigation, I was disappointed that not one joke was made about busting the nuts.

[@earendilthemariner5546]

"Nuts. You know nuts" 'Boy do i" "A way you can make money with nuts...deez nuts"

[@soren3569]

The BBC series "Midsomer Murders" did, in fact, feature an episode centered around a ring of international black market flower thieves.

[@anthrosaurian]

14:31 Yup, big guvment came in and bought up all the bitcorn farms to make ethanol! 🤣

[@broceollomon]

I work at a grocery store and laundry detergent is one of our highest theft items. We keep Tide behind a counter.

[@ericorange2654]

Pre video ad then another ad 1 minute in, we totally love ads

[@Amy_Dunn]

You joked about writing a script about a shrubbery thief... but I legit will!

[@SneetyPete]

Heres a trick I used to use when I was broke and homeless. Whenever you go to the store and buy a bunch of things, grab a pack of gum or some other cheap item that is thin enough to be held in front of the barcode of the item you want. Id only recommend using this on things like large packs of meats or veggies. Pay for the rest of your items but enjoy the 20$ discount. Just be aware that alot of stores have scales in their self checkout that will know what is supposed to be placed. Fuck corporations

[@7861slipknot]

"this city's Gunna need a laundry detergent laundering deterrent, ya see?"

[@PossGal]

As a truck driver I can tell you most of the time the people loading the pallets at the warehouse don't even know what they're loading a lot of the stuff is just in boxes with numbers on it and on the bill of ladies that says the product description it will be numbers it'll be very vague description like fruit or vegetable and with covid hit everything we're not even allowed into the warehouse is any more to watch them load the phrase so we only have to go off the last 3 or 4 pallets of the load

[@leflumph1509]

Am I the only one concerned Brian described having symptoms of a really dangerous conditions in the intro? The damn rust ramen may have eventually got to him.

[@nosbig98]

I worked retail for years, and we had one person who would purchase a bottle of Tide, use a portion of it, 1/3 to 1/2, refill the bottle with water and then try to return it for full price. He got by once. Then, we caught on, and my manager would actually weigh the jugs of detergent this person brought back because they would weight appreciably less than the unopened containers. This same person tried the same trick with lice shampoo, of all things, with the same lack of success.

[@BlackSoap361]

In Houston, elkhorn fern theft is a big deal. People stealing ferns out of other people’s yards, to sell

[@shawnhagerich2559]

As someone who worked at Rite Aid in a major city, most stuff was stole by homeless drug addicts (you could tell) who would then sell the stuff. Soda and red bull, they would sell to local bars. Our manager actually went around to all bars in a fail attempt to get the bar owners to stop buying from them. Turns out, they're shady too, well not all of them, just some. But, enough to make it worth their while. Laundry detergent, #1 stolen item at my store, was then taken to laundry mats and sold. They could sell a tide pod for $.25-$.50, it's cheaper than out of the machine and, for them, its all profit. Everything else, most-likely would end up at a flea market. or they'd just sell it right on the corner. And, we, essentially, weren't allowed to stop them. Most we could do is call the cops, who would take 45 minutes to get there. It was fun times!

[@8stringmonkey]

It is well known in some circles that the Knights of Ni are behind the shrub theft ring...

[@miscellaneousmax3485]

Wow D&D MTG didn't expect to hear both in one episode

[@travismurtland3257]

Poor Brian lost his Black Lotus I guess? Didn't know they're Magic nerds as well lol

[@JakHart]

"close hand magic" Lol, that's a cute way to say it.

[@kavalogue]

Irish travellers steal the following items : Coka cola 6 packs, Chardonnay, dairy dunkers, blue tack, lucozade sport, yop yoghurt drinks, and washing detergent. These same people Return the next day, sometimes the same day, sometimes within the same hour, and whip out wads of cash to pay for ciggs. Or worse yet. They'll do their legitimate shopping. Take out $600 to pay for $80 worth of messages, then have their kids steal things or grab as much as possible and run out of the store and into their car. Shoplifting is no joke. It's ridiculous

[@CK-ceekay]

Great guest, really liked this episode

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Thanks!

[@Harshhaze]

No Uncertain Terms of Surrender

[@WillKrause21]

14:00 (ish): This movie and book already (kinda) exists, a 90s book called The Orchid Thief, and the kinda adaptation of it called Adaptation. Main thrust is the illegal orchid trade, tho not from greenhouses, from the wild. And also drugs are involved.

[@misstekhead]

The plant lick is all too real.

[@tobb50]

YEAH, TWO CHANNELS THAT I LOVE COLLAB!

[@user-if7vt2ni2z]

This was great. You guys should collab again now that Jordan has his own channel.

[@youtubeviewer8051]

There was also that heist on target where they stole $100,00 of loose meats, they called it operation mincemeat I think, they made a film about it

[@nocultist7050]

I did not expect to watch breeding on this channel... But well, rogues they are it seems...

[@armacarion4030]

My favourite episode for a while, great one!

[@dashdashdash_]

I remember my friend showing me a black lotus years ago before I knew its worth, it was quite a bit then but i'd pay that to see the reaction he had when he found out its worth nowadays.

[@nocultist7050]

Ni! Ni! Ni! Bring me some shrubbery.

[@satansamael666]

Number 2 can’t be taken with a straight face. The number of deez nutz joke is ascended.

[@thedavesofourlives1]

"Washing up powder" is frequently counterfeit in the UK

[@JudithOpdebeeck]

the next day on DMSGuils: a brand new rogue subclass: The Nut Thief

[@nocultist7050]

In Poland one year dude just dressed in black and said "Hi, I'm here for the money" and drove away with 5mln PLN.

[@kevineisler5387]

Okay, but you didn't cover the Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist?

[@reedtassell4847]

I want more of this guy

[@PatGilliland]

We've had people take whole plants right out of our garden. No Russians lurking in the area, so it may have been ordinary jerks.

[@UnrelatedAntonym]

12:37 The russian crime syndicate stealing cheese, I think that is due to various sanctions on Russia, as well as policies enacted by Russia which lead to some cheese types to be unobtainable on the regular market in Russia because the cheese would come from a country who isn't doing trade with Russia.

[@grindcoremaniac]

Damn. Didn't think Cracked mattered anymore after they laid off all the good writers years ago.

[@Nirad007]

In Canada there was a theft of maple syrup in the $18 million dollar range

[@farmerboy916]

Wait, cracked still has a yt channel? They absolutely destroyed that years ago When they were bought out

[@cracked]

I brought it back.

[@icarusswitkes6833]

Putting a bucket over the blacksmiths head and then selling his products back to him: laundry detergent edition

[@EdwardIglesias]

The bitcorn market is getting ready to pop!

[@JWelk92]

I was laughing so hard durning 90% of this

[@kostiemuirhead8187]

It would appear that Target is like the ocean. The Tide goes in and out throughout the day.

[@dearhorse085]

you guys should come to Greece you would learn a lot about petty crime and fraud here

[@UnfriendlyFire]

Half the episode was them talking about stealing peoples nuts and I’m not mad!

[@Charles-e2u]

His surname is 'Breeding'? I always thought it was 'Brady'. I've never seen it written I suppose.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Oh it's Breeding baby

[@Charles-e2u]

@@Drjordanbreeding Are you certain? I think I'm right.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@Charles-e2u I’m 85% sure haha

[@ZombieProdigy0]

Time to use this information for good. And totally not make some side money.

[@eklhaft4531]

The subtitles are so good!

[@stitch626123]

So with the target detergent stuff. Could you just grab it off the shelf and sell it back to them before it ever leaves the store?

[@profeli1993]

Bring me....... a shrubbery.

[@OpiZoid]

this is such a great episode guys love it!

[@carbon_bomb]

That’s a huge load. Of nuts

[@werewolf74]

I am not a fan of Cracked anymore but here, I like the content so maybe its the script or 'character'

[@Doktor_Vem]

There are way too many "clean"-jokes in this video and I am 100% ok with it