Mom Married Her New Husband 2 Weeks After He Moved In & Adopts His Kids From Other Woman So I...

[@lizabee7791]

“Happy Anniversary Mark! I got you credit card debt because I love you so much!” Yep, YTA

[@LightSage89]

Guitar story: "They couldn't return it because they said it was on a CC, but I don't remember." You don't remember that you put it on a CREDIT CARD??? This woman who doesn't understand that CC stands for credit card should not have access to credit cards. Let alone access to someone else's credit card. I don't even know how angry I would be if someone bought me a gift and said they put it on my credit card.

[@johnowen9349]

She doesn't know how interest on credit cards works either.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@johnowen9349I don’t think she knows how anything works which is scary.

[@Eppon6]

She also doesn't know how a credit card works, what interest is, what a 'gift' is meant to be and various other things. Someone really let this person down somewhere down the line to let them grow up without knowing basic things needed to function in society.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@johnowen9349 sounds like she doesn’t know how anything works which is scary

[@ixxieangel]

It's not surprising, if she was being given Gucci and Prada belts/bags, and Supreme gear on a seemingly regular basis then I guarantee that she grew up on the wealthy side and hasn't had to find out how to pay bills or the specifics of credit cards throughout her life. I'm sure she could probably just ask the bank of mom and dad for the money to repay the boyfriend but it is nice to see that she is trying to sell stuff and make the money back by herself.

[@RepellentJeff]

Story 2: “I just figured it won’t matter since he never makes me pay for anything.” OP isn’t particularly clever, is she? 😂

[@Jeremy-l9e]

Gold diggers never are.

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

​@Jeremy-l9e I don't think she's a gold digger. It sounds as if she grew up with fairly decently well off parents who never made her pay for anything & didn't teach her anything about money.

[@krn2683]

Well, when mom and dad are buying you designer clothes and handbags to go to college in what do you expect? 😂 She sounds dizzy as hell, but not particularly malicious. I think there's hope for her yet.

[@breezy3392]

She doesn't sound malicious or like a gold digger. She sounds like she's been spoiled and uneducated (Good job parents 🙄). At least when it was explained to her, she took steps to correct it. Gold diggers don't do that.

[@LoveK1]

@@Jeremy-l9eGold diggers are actually VERY clever. It takes skill to get your life paid for. OP is just painfully clueless.

[@user-hr5pc3rt2n]

Re the guitar. Your boyfriend just bought himself a birthday gift. He just didn't know it because he has an idiot for a gf.

[@patrickdix772]

Yeah, buying someone a gift with their own money is only acceptable if it's a child buying their parent a gift (under the supervision of the other parent). I also wonder if it was actually a credit card or a debit card. Some debit cards allow for pretty big overdrafts, depending on the person whose account it is. This could have resulted in a really big overdraft if it is.

[@Procrastinator1948]

@@patrickdix772 I'm sure she coudn't tell the difference as she not even smart enough to know how cc interest works.

[@johnowen9349]

@@Procrastinator1948 Absolutely, the comment about not understanding interest was when I stuck a fork in that relationship. She's not ready to adult, send her home to the jokes that are her parents.

[@julierichardson800]

As the wife of a guitar collector the appropriate action would be: Call him, give exact spec, say with my contribution it will cost x. Do you want me to ask them to hold it so you can get down here and try it? My husband has rejected many a wish list guitar for many number of reasons. Even more so if 2nd hand. If he bought me a horse outright that I hadn't seen id be upset just on the I haven't seen it!

[@greencrazystories]

Absolutely true! That was quite a surprise for him, and definitely not in a good way

[@YvonneFobbs]

Story #1: She adopted more kids and just needs you as a free maid and nanny! Stay with you are!

[@lorilancaster5917]

And grab a lawn chair and watch as the donor’s marriage crumbles since the husband realizes that he doesn’t have a free sitter, maid, etc

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

Picky eater story. Growing up i was shamed for not liking fish and seafood. Mom constantly told me how healthy fish is and i need to learn to like it. Thankfully she never forced me to eat it, but i did get in trouble a few times when I got upset about the smell. Well, i figured out as an adult I'm allergic or have some type of adverse sensitivity to fish and seafood. I always get nauseous and throw up. Figured this out when a doctor prescribed fish oil capsules and even though there was no after taste at all, I routinely got sick and vomited hours after taking a fish oil capsule.

[@JasmynSundayrose]

Having preferences to food is not being picky. Some have texture issues. I was forced to eat foods that I didn't like in which I threw up. I have never forced my kids to eat foods they didn't like.

[@yamairad1]

This reminds me of my Xs family. They would bully me, saying I was picky because I wasn't crazy about their food. But, they felt the same way about my cultural food. The difference is that I didn't care, and I wasn't trying to change them.

[@vampire9545]

I find it amusing people will be ok with veganism but not a picky eater. Literally the same thing. 😆

[@Traci2000]

I had crab meat forced on me about 30 years ago (I'm about to turn 43), and to this day, when I smell seafood, my mouth fills up with thick saliva (bile?) like I'm getting ready to vomit. Still can't eat it. It took me about 20 years to even be able to eat at the same table as someone eating crab legs without getting sick.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And giving steak to a child her age was ridiculous. Her pallet wasn’t ready for that yet even if she wasn’t a picky eater. The steak could’ve been too chewy for her and if it was still pink she maybe afraid to eat it. MIL was asserting a power play and hubby should deal with her bs.

[@Procrastinator1948]

It has been studied and proven that kids have taste buds that haven't fully developed early on, and that many foods that they refuse to eat taste bad to them. Then, as they mature, those taste buds change and suddenly the childs tastes change.

[@CobbyLouis]

Story 2.. Did this woman buy her boyfriend a gift that he cannot afford with his own money? 😂😂😂😂 But good on her for the recovery, though

[@lorilancaster5917]

OP: “the best gifts to give are those someone won’t buy for themselves.” Because a guitar isn’t worth going into debt for! She should be thankful she’s not an ex

[@carsonbrennan7218]

AGREED!!

[@susankaempfer8427]

Guitar story- I was going to say, the 4th criteria should be that she take a financial literacy course.

[@DragonGoddess18]

Story 1: If a mother doesn't notice their kid being gone for a whole month, then that's on the mother,not the kid. She just used OP as prop to make herself feel better Bottom line,OP is NTA

[@lorilancaster5917]

And the new hubby doesn’t care about OPs grievances and likely only married her mom because he saw a free sitter.

[@JKC40]

'red meat isn't even good for you' 1985 called and they want their dietary advice back

[@lorilancaster5917]

That sounds like the same outdated medical guide that says you can smoke while pregnant as long as they are filtered🙄 Red meat is only bad if it’s contaminated, spoiled, and or undercooked just like any other meat. But in daughter’s case, the steak was likely too pink and chewy for her to enjoy which likely furthered her dislike for red meat.

[@LunarisArts]

​@@lorilancaster5917I would have loved pink meat as kid in the 80s. Steaks were fully cooked and chewy, and hotdogs were charred (actually pretty good) but as we didn't know better, we ate it with delight. Might be why we grew up having rather good jaws. That and dried reindeer meat, thanks to granddad. That was our saturday snack after sauna.

[@Marstic666]

The credit card story has me in shambles. I really hope he waits till she pays it off then dumps her anyway because the lack of common sense is astounding. She's 23, not 13, she should know how CC works and that you shouldn't make big purchases without asking. Then again, if her parents are buying her $500 belts and $600 hoodies, while she only has $500 in savings, it sounds like they never taught her the value of money.

[@alricaneshama]

Well, she has been coddled all her life.

[@breezy3392]

Story 2: She used his money to buy him a gift, with the line of thought that the best gift is something he would want but wouldn't buy for himself? She did that with his money? That's not how gifting works. It seriously sounds like she's not bright enough to be trusted with money. And she had the gall to say he should be grateful that she racked up $2500 in credit card debt. She is painfully dim. The Update: At least it sounds like she genuinely meant no harm, but my goodness she sounds like her parents spoiled her and she is in desperate need of a few courses in financial literacy.

[@user-hr5pc3rt2n]

@@breezy3392 sounds like she shouldn't be let out in public without supervision. Dim wit.

[@goddessrick8734]

A notable age gap to. A lot of guys don't care about maturity with their partners.

[@heathermcdougall8023]

@@goddessrick8734 Imagine thier kids. What if they look like him but all have her brains!!

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

"The best gift is something he wants but won't buy himself, but is bought with his money..." I truly hope it's ragebait... Please let this be a giant troll. Please, God, please don't let her be a real person...

[@TheScaletIbisNW]

I have chronic pain and I was in the most pain at my lowest weight. Don't focus on weight. Focus on what is fueling the body. I have lost weight and it is helpful. However, what helped me the most was cleaning up my diet. I started an antiinflamatory diet. I started exercising in the pool. Even at my high weight I felt really good with personal changes. I discovered a long time a go my doctors didn't care or take me seriously. i had to make my own changes to deal with my pain.

[@hinatahyuuga120]

I had doctor not enmven look at me and my weight and tell me I had to loose weight tp help with my pain. I was 95 lbs.

[@hinatahyuuga120]

Also note he said this becayse i have fibromialgia. Legit confused him when basket if he wanted me to be a stick. He finally looked up from his notes for thst and realized I was thin

[@Colorbrush21]

There are lots of fat people who don't need walkers and canes. They get around just fine. OP's friend probably has a chronic condition that she would have even if she was thin. OP meant well and maybe her friend was too sensitive.

[@B1ack_1otus23]

I hate when adults try to force children to eat. It’s simply a power play because no rational person would do the same if it was an adult having a food aversion.

[@angelamurray2725]

My Mum was actually told to do this with my big sister. My sister cried herself into exhaustion and fell asleep. My mum said that was the last time she would try forcing food on her children. My husbands Aunt gave them what they didn’t eat for the next meal and the next etc. when my 2sils asked for a jam sandwich when their dad came home ( MIL was in the hospital) , Dad worked in the coal mine. They didn’t have to eat there again.

[@Khanjikai]

I got hung up on "she's should eat without complaint." She didn't complain! She simply ate the things she enjoyed. Adults need to learn to manage their own feelings

[@velvety2006]

@@angelamurray2725 My parents didn't want to fight and just gave us a sandwich, my brother and I both now cook a big variety of things.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@Khanjikaithe only one complaining was MIL. And where was OPs husband in all this?

[@ettinakitten5047]

Unfortunately the people I went to for autism therapy believe in forcing adults to eat foods they have an aversion to. Probably because they see autistic adults as equivalent to children. I didn't stick around with that place after I found that out about them.

[@karenthurman4953]

The girlfriend buying the guitar...I facepalmed so hard I nearly passed out! 😮

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

Yeah... Nearly broke my forehead facepalming, and definitely sprained an eyeball from rolling my eyes too hard.

[@FairyLadyQuelaag]

Dinner story: Bruh NTA, your kid gagged. You don't ever force a child to eat something that makes them gag, they'll throw up. It would be a waste. Save the steak for someone else.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

23 and spent understand interest on credit cards?? Good job those parents did......🙄🙄🙄

[@velvety2006]

at least she is trying to figure out how to give him the money instead of throwing a tempertantrum and calling him ungratufull

[@LunarisArts]

​@@velvety2006and that might be the redeeming feature of her that keeps BF from breaking up.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

People need to stop acting like someone disliking/not wanting a food is a personal insult or some sort of flaw.

[@goddessmelanisia]

We had the three bite rule. Try one bite, at three different meals. If after the third time you still hate it, you don't ever have to try it again. We also did grazing. Healthy prepared food was available from from 7 am to 9 pm. Food replaced at every mealtime. For her 21st birthday, she's demanding Sushi. 😂

[@ShinigamiSparda]

Story 2: “he said he’s going to be taking the money to pay off a chunk so we don’t get interest or whatever, I don’t really know how that works.” I had to stop and recheck her age. *She doesn’t know how credit card interest works!?* By that sentence alone I would’ve thought she was 13, not 23!

[@moonlady3000]

The thing is, if being fat was the cause of the sorts of problems Leah has, then other people who are not fat wouldn't ever have them, which is not the case. Additionally, mobility issues are more likely to cause people to be overweight than the reverse. There are plenty for fat people who dance and workout and do sports and etc. So like, would losing weight help mitigate Leah's symptoms, almostt certainly. But losing weight isn't going to help her problems go away. She's going to need other answers. And if she had those NOW, her ability to move might improve and her weight might go down naturally because of that. Which is why "just lose weight" is not helpful advice for a fat person with a chronic illness of some sort.

[@ven7165]

Getting someone a "gift" using *THEIR* money that you didn't ask permission for, after *THEY PAY FOR EVERYTHING*. He aint your boyfriend, he's your wallet. The man deserves better.

[@fcold9402]

"Gift" "The best gift is buying something someone won't buy for themselves" and then goes out and uses that person's money to buy the "gift". OP seems to lack the common sense that you cannot buy people "gifts" with their own money.....that's just them buying the item with an extra unasked for step. Major igit.

[@johnowen9349]

"He's gonna take the money to pay off a chunk so we don't get interest, I don't know how that works really..." He needs to take his credit card back and send you home. You're not ready for adulting.

[@vincentlucario5450]

He already took back his credit card

[@johnowen9349]

@@vincentlucario5450 now he needs to send her home

[@annana6098]

Mom in story one is only upset that she's going to lose her slave. She's taking on all these additional kids, and she was counting on parentifying her slave girl.

[@2p-blog-thing]

The mom in the first story is giving Corrine Dollenganger.

[@shydog7276]

Last story is exhausting. As a former obese person, there's a REASON doctors lean on your weight above most other issues. Losing weight can resuce, even resolve outright, sooooooo many medical problems. And, get this, mobility is one of the biggest ones it dramatically corrects. Put a 100lb pack on and try walking around, sitting down then standing back up, pick something off the ground, get in a car, and tell me how fun that is. Then take that pack right back off and tell me if you noticed even a tiny change. Yeah. Exactly. There's virtually zero medical condition the friend could possibly have that her losing weight won't straight up improve. Lose the damn weight.

[@Eppon6]

Exactly. She may have legit medical issues and those can be diagnosed and treated. But the first step to treating them is removing an exacerbating cause that can negatively impact diagnosis. Doctors telling her to lose weight isn't the full treatment plan. It's the first step to further, more accurate diagnosis and proper treatment of the underlying issues, also probably for granting her some immediate relief on her symptoms. Treating chronic pain is always tricky because every medicine that grants pain relief above a certain threshold is addictive and can have other terrible side-effects. They are strictly regulated; given only to deserving causes where no other treatment can reduce the pain to tolerable levels. Now, I must admit that a lot of medical science is, sadly, behind the times when it comes to treating and diagnosing women's' issues. Which is why we need to NOT give doctors any ammo to dismiss legitimate concerns.

[@scotthinger6397]

Well said.

[@ironman_546]

Except sometimes people have mobility conditions that, while they could be improved by weight loss, are directly causing weight gain and the symptoms have to be treated before weight can be lost. Also, plenty of doctors brush off real medical conditions because women need to lose weight. I have freaking fibromyalgia that got brushed off for years because I'm fat. Like yeah, my nerves on fire all the time makes it hard to move.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

I am disabled and chronically ill...i wish just loosing weight would cure it. if thats all it took for so many issues we'd be happily eating just salad, lol. obese does cause or at least exasperates so many problems hormonal issues, mood, knee pain back pain, gut issues, fatty liver can make you feel like crap too.

[@hiddensquid335]

@@ironman_546at that point it sounds like they won’t believe you until you lose weight. I would do it just to feel vindicated. Do what’s best for you and I hope you find a doc that isn’t a quack that’s willing to help you

[@Brit626]

The guitar story: I mean, OP's heart was in the right place but she flubbed it by using HIS credit card. Jesus.

[@TheQuantumWave]

Picky eater: I wish my parents were more like OP when I was growing up. I hated green beans, and my mom made them twice a week. We had to eat the portion she gave us, and I had to sit at the table until they were gone. If they weren't gone by bedtime, they were served for breakfast.

[@davidknight3249]

We used to get excused to go to the bathroom and flush them.

[@liamlockheartart7560]

I'm really glad the OP didn't force their kid to eat the damned steak. I'm so tired of people acting like having food preferences or being a picky eater is a crime. Just cus you can shove anything down your throat like a trash compactor doesn't mean everyone else can. Doesn't feel so good to get talked to like that about food preferences, does it? Leave picky eaters alone. So long as they aren't forcing you to eat the way they do, it doesn't affect you. Get over it. Let people not eat, or eat, whatever food they like. My Mom is autistic and super sensitive to seasonings. It took me screaming at my Dad (when I was 28 years old) to stop being a jerk to get him to stop seasoning her portions. He'd by premade burger patties and drown them in seasoning. They were good, but my Mom literally couldn't eat them. He'd get mad at her that he spent all that time cooking for her and she wouldn't eat it. It wasn't just burgers he did that to but three nights in a row of him doing that was the final straw. I had to scream in his face that he's intentionally causing his wife, who he claims he loves, to skip meals all while she worked her ass of to provide for him. "What's so wrong with you that you'd rather your wife skip meals than just skip a step on her burgers?! It's literally less work" was probably the nicest part of what I said to him. If he was a normal person who understood what a calm conversation is I wouldn't have yelled, but yelling is the only thing he understands. If the spices were just part of the recipe and you can't seperate a portion out for her before adding seasoning she'd make herself something else. But the problem comes when it's something like the burgers. Each patty was seperate already before being seasoned. My Dad went out of his way to ruin her portion knowing she wouldn't eat it after he did that just so he could feel powerful. That's what y'all sound like when you act like not liking a type of food is a crime. The kid wasn't rude about it. She doesn't like steak! Oh no!!! How dare someone have preferences!!! Anyway leave picky eaters alone. They aren't hurting you by being picky. You don't have to cook for a picky eater if you don't want to, but they aren't insulting you personally because they don't like part of a meal you made. It isn't that deep. Get over yourself.

[@joeschmo622]

Ohhh, I hope The BF does a chargeback on the guitar, saying (truthfully) that his card was stolen. That'll get the store moving to take it back in full, especially if they used the card for Mark Whatever and the person who actually bought it was Opie Somethingelse. Else if the store refuses, just get the cash back and enjoy the guitar! Happy Birfday!

[@lorilancaster5917]

Problem is if OP was an authorized person on the card, which sounds like she is, he can’t claim the card as stolen.

[@joeschmo622]

@@lorilancaster5917 Dunno, as it was never said. Most stores I've ever gone to, I could use a card where the name is Rosa Parks or Indira Gandhi and they'd still take it and never question it.

[@jpbaley2016]

Forced food story - forcing the child to eat foods they don’t like is very stressful. Well into my teenage years, I remember sitting at one end of the table with a glass of milk while my younger brother sat at the other end staring at his vegetables well after dinner finished. I hated milk and even now at 65 yo, I still hate it. A couple times a week, my mother would give in and allow me to add strawberry mix to my milk and I would happily drink it down. My brother, unfortunately, couldn’t find anything to bury the flavor of vegetables and would end up still at the table an hour after everyone has left. He still hates vegetables. Forcing us through that routine changed nothing and it only changed when we got jobs as teenagers and couldn’t sit at the table until we down items we hated.

[@LunarisArts]

You sounf like you're from the same generation as me, where we were forced to sit at the table to eat everything on the plate, no matter what. Don't know where you're from, but when "all seasoning" came on the market (pepper, paprika, garlic, onion, LOTS OF SALT, and some other spices) made anything better. Even crisp bread with butter (which was a student life saviour). My mum worked around that by saying the last at the table cleans the kitchen. Some times it was me, some times it was brother. Some times it was dad, or mum. And some times it were the foster kids we had. We all chiae how much we wanted, and refilled our plates as much as w wanted, but we had to eat up fast not to be last. Otherwise we ended up being ten swconds from a food coma (mum was and still is a fantastic chef) while loading the dishwasher, wash the pots, clear and wash the tablea, and the kitchen counters. As a reward we got the first dibs on making a melty cheese sandwich in the micro as an night snack.

[@PalPayton]

I’m so sick of people saying doctors are “fatphobic” for stating facts about obesity. It’s not healthy. You can choose to be delusional if you want to, but don’t make that everyone else’s problem and expect them to go along with it

[@SilverMKI]

I'm as keen as anyone else to get people to be as happy and healthy as they can be when it comes to their weight but there is so much evidence of people (particularly women) being fobbed off and told to either lose weight or get pregnant to solve their issue. People literally die because they don't actually get the Investigations and treatments required as everything is blamed on their weight.

[@vampire9545]

My favorite fact is the "body positivity movement" should be renamed "toxic body positivity" movement as studies show it actually enables staying obese.

[@soulsisterwillis]

Yes being overweight can cause issues with your health, but it’s not the cause for everything. Losing weight won’t fix everything. For example, if you are suffering from arthritis that has spread throughout your body losing weight won’t stop you from being in pain. It may make mobility easier… it MIGHT, but likely won’t because if you are in pain that pain will make mobility hard. I am overweight. Have been for most of my life despite going from diet to diet trying to lose weight. Being overweight did not hinder my mobility. I got around just fine. It wasn’t until I developed severe lymphedema due to pregnancy complications and osteoarthritis in my back after having a spinal tap that eventually spread throughout my body that my mobility became an issue. Doctors ignored me in the early stages and made it all about my weight. Meanwhile I got sicker and sicker and in more and more pain. It wasn’t until I found a doctor that listened and cared that I started getting the help I needed. Yes I need to lose the weight but my other conditions have to be cared for separate from my weight.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

ya, there are case's where being "fat" is not the issue, but with obesity using that as an excuse make's other peoples accounts of it being ignored null

[@Shimonotoki]

@@soulsisterwillis Yes, loosing weight might not help in some situations but it does help in a lot. And at the end of the day not loosing weight is in 99.9% of the cases just a discipline issue.

[@muppetsrule1143]

Guitar story is the problem with expecting people to be happy with any gift because "It's the thought that counts"

[@Jeremy-l9e]

Story 2: Anyone else getting major gold digger vibes from OP after the “he never makes me pay for anything” comment?

[@krn2683]

A gold digger doesn't sell her designer clothes to make up for a mistake. OPs giving more of "rich girl who never had to worry about money before" vibes. Sounds like mom and dad gave her a pretty cushy upbringing. She's young, ditzy, and financially illiterate. Hopefully time thumps some sense into her head.

[@mbyerly9680]

She's too stupid to be a gold digger.

[@joeschmo622]

But she paid for pizza (hehe) so that makes it okay! 😂😂😂

[@ilovehorror2508]

No just a ditzy spoil child who doesn’t understand the value of money . Gold diggers want money to be spend on them and selfish and wouldn’t see their faults . So she’s not a gold digger

[@Hawxicity]

She’s genuinely so air-headed it’s making me second-hand cringe on her behalf…

[@Reed-2big]

Before I had knee surgery I was told I just needed to walk more to lose weight. Yep, that will work! They did send me to physical therapy to deal with the knee for a while.

[@carsonbrennan7218]

I guess I REALLY need to grow up, I’m 24 and credit cards absolutely TERRIFY me!! My mom told me a bunch of worse case scenarios. It’s made me COMPLETELY terrified of credit cards tbh! I know they are a necessary part of being an adult, but I don’t know how to NOT be terrified of screwing up my credit score for the rest of my life!!!

[@Symphonia30]

Yeah being overweight can cause a great number of health issues in the last story and that friend is clearly in denial of it. But I guess that’s the thing when people think that they know more than doctors.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And expect everyone to feed into their denial. She asked OP a question which she answered. As an adult you have to prepare yourself to hear things you don’t want to hear

[@ironman_546]

Except when loss of mobility causes weight gain then doctors blame it on your weight gain. Or all the other doctors that told me nothing was wrong with me, when I have like 4 different autoimmune conditions that can all impact weight. Overweight women regularly get deleted in the US by doctors who don't take their pain seriously because they are overweight. Your faith in doctors is misguided

[@Symphonia30]

@@ironman_546 not all doctors are wrong and misguided.

[@kenziecarter9458]

Yay XO!!!

[@Jejohns]

Guitar story: OP, your man has LOOOOW standards to have you

[@alanalirkani]

Last story. Its so sad that people's issues are ignored due to their weight. Yes, being overweight can cause issues, but some disabilities can actually cause weight gain. It's often much more complex than "lose weight, feel better." Like, what if the friend had some minor mobility issue before she was obese? Like it started as pain walking, so she didn't walk as much as she might have, causing her to start gaining weight. Then you have this spiral, more weight makes it more painful to move, which leads to becoming heavier. And there's actual medical conditions that cause weight gain. Are they rare? Yes, absolutely, but they do exist. PCOS and Hyperthyroidism come to mind. Again, rare, but they do happen. And then there's the mental conditions that can do it. Depression and anxiety can cause overeating and a lack of willpower to get out of bed to do anything, which can cause weight gain. Finally, there are medications this lady may or may not be on that can cause weight gain. Being healthy, especially when dealing with obesity is such a complex topic...

[@Arkylie]

Yeah, it's amazing how many people reduce obesity to "just put down the fork" as though they've definitively Solved The Problem. As if we'd have an obesity epidemic if it were actually that simple. So many people thinking that fat people are just lazy, unmotivated, stupid, uninformed. And y'know what happens when doctors think all your problems come from weight? they give you less effective health care, leading to a correlation between obesity and health issues that might actually be (not entirely, but significantly nonetheless) tied to the amount of symptoms that get ignored in favor of "just lose weight." And it's worse for women, who pack on pounds more easily, who stress out more easily (cortisol leads to weight gain), who already have a history of having our symptoms ignored (men who go in for the same symptoms get diagnosed and treated, but a lot of women don't) and being told it's all in our head or it's all because we're female. A young woman of 25 who's already using a mobility aid just to get around has something seriously wrong with her, and it's NOT the weight. That's like the magazine cover I once read that said Oprah had reached the astounding weight of 200 lbs. "and could barely waddle out to the mailbox" -- which my mom and I had a good laugh at before we put on our skates and enjoyed a good session at the local skate rink (I was around 250 lbs. at the time). Mobility issues that severe at 25 should be looked into, not lowest-common-denominator dismissed.

[@ettinakitten5047]

They're starting to realize that pre-diabetes might actually cause weight gain rather or in addition to being caused by weight gain. Insulin resistance, before it progresses to full-blown diabetes, causes both increased appetite and greater tendency to store energy as fat rather than burning it.

[@joeytraffics]

Body positivity do more harm than good. Pointing out a glaring problem about obesity is like doing a criminal offense nowadays.

[@leelourose2503]

When you present something as a gift but use a credit card in the giftees name.. YTA every single time, not to mention credit card theft is a thing.

[@FairyLadyQuelaag]

Guitar story: It's not a gift if he's the one paying for it.

[@SweetChastity]

I'm overweight and when.i had a 3 to 6 month period of extreme back pain where I started walking with a cane, my doctor told me that 'Ever since man stood up he's had back pain.' Yes I know losing weight helps but this was a sudden acute episode so not related to weight. Move and got a PN with my new Dr who sent me to a chiropractor who got trays that showed I have a bony spur/growth and chiro helped. Thank God that Dr finally retired. My mom didn't believe me about her til the new Dr took over and she found this on listened, took her seriously and looked into her complaints like a real Dr should.

[@boybawang1981]

2: present that HE PAID for!! 🙄😬🤯 3: your kid likes processed meat...she'll be blind by 25!!

[@CarolineBearoline]

Thanks XO ❤

[@tespenkr9924]

Story 1: Mom was ashamed of OP's birth. A remidner of the one who ruined her life.

[@gwolfstahl]

"Picky eater"..gagging? Sounds like food aversion/ sensory issues, tbh

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Nta. Report her behavior to the adoption judge. They might like to know who she really is

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 1: Wow. Possible world record on a NTA call. What an absolute derelict of a parent.

[@zombiechicken7114]

Who buys a gift with the recipients money??? What an idiot. Give him the money back asap and let him go. Edit..given the stupid purchases their parents made no wonder op is so clueless!!!

[@cheskydivision]

Lol disability is the cause of a lot of obesity. I was normal size till I became disabled… if I could do all the things I used to I wouldn’t have gained weight. Even an athlete’s body would change if they were injured.

[@akemiflameborg]

Story 3: I'd check the kid for ARFID just to be safe. The gagging at food sounds like it.

[@wplains]

The guitar story OP sounds like a three year old in terms of monetary knowledge. She was probably a spoiled rich kid who always used Daddy’s credit card. SMH!

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #2:] OP bought a "Gift" for her husband using HIS MONEY. Lost me right there.

[@samanthasmiles9112]

I wish people would educate themselves with "picky" children eaters. Children have WAY more taste buds than adults. In fact, the older we get, the more flavor we need. That's why people can hate onions their entire life and like them in their older age. Everything a child puts in their mouth tastes 10x what it tastes to us. Unfortunately, when they eat vegetables, they can be overwhelmingly bitter.... to the point that some children gag. I want you to think of what food you HATE (that makes you gag) and then forcing yourself to eat it. That's NOT good parenting. Children should be introduced to different vegetables slowly, so their taste buds can acclimate to the strong bitter taste. My father grew up in Texas, where he was forced to eat food he hated. Unfortunately, he has so much association with vegetables making him want to throw up (as a child) that he still has this response as an adult. Any vegetable and my father will start to gag. Literally, if someone sneaks a pea into a dish, he will throw it up.

[@lee-jj1js]

Anyone who thinks dr's are fatphobic must also think they're drugphobic or alcoholphobic or smokingphobic lol.

[@OmegaII]

Sadly too many Doctors will dismiss legitimate health flags because someone is fat. Knew someone that had a heart condition that went undiagnosed for over 10 years because he just kept saying she just needed to lose weight. She could have had it fixed by surgery at age 8. If the doctor wasn't fatphobic she would have been healthier and probably able to actually exercise.

[@jessejjyami8909]

They are, unfortunately. I struggled to lose weight for years (finally down 22lbs and counting), and both my uterus problems and my joint issues were entirely dismissed and boiled down to my weight. I ended up needing emergency hysterectomy, blood transfusions and iron infusions after a week of full labor pains despite not being pregnant. And I have EDS, a connective tissue disorder, which led to two different kinds of arthritis in my knees after years of instability not being taken seriously by doctors. Even in childhood.

[@Momoftheweens]

I don’t eat most meats anymore because my parents forced me to growing up. Now, it makes me throw up and sick. But I’m out of the house now.

[@Dphantomfan369]

Story 1: so this grown man curse out a teenager, because she told her adult mom for once in her life, she didn’t want to be a parent to their kids? For once in OP’s life she want to be treated as a person, not a manipulation tactic for her mom, or an around the clock childcare. but apparently that’s wrong because mom decided OP to give her life so mom doesn’t have to. OP should threaten to take the legal route. First she needs to make sure no debt or credit cards are in her name, because let’s be real mom more than likely already did that. Then threaten to take legal action, don’t take it just yet and see if OP can avoid the fight. I doubt a judge is going to let the adoption go through one of the kids is so desperately trying to get out. If they can understand that much, then they might just let OP stay with her grandparents from now on without putting up a fight. Then take the grandparents to get her stuff and documents, she shouldn’t go alone.

[@CreditR01]

2 - ETA This is crazy. You used your BF's credit card without permission for a huge purchase and tried to claim it was a gift? Mark is an idiot purely for giving you his credit card. Never give an idiot any access to your money. Glad she was willing to make it right but JC, this girl's parents set her up for failure. She doesn't even understand how credit card interest works. CRINGE.

[@mariannecormier3021]

This tradition in my family goes back at least eight generations. It's called a no thank you helping which is approximately a tablespoon full. : We had to eat it. If you wanted to get it over with, you had one big mouthful , two little bites, or three little bites. That's how I decided I like gravy, tuna, and cranberry jelly.

[@lianabaddley8217]

Our rule was 3 bites, didn't matter how big or small, 3 separate times in their lives before we can say we don't like something and won't have to eat them. So far, my oldest 25f has asked me not to put as many carrots in anything I cook but will still eat them. My 2nd 22f limits eating peas and meat. She's not a full on vegetarian but prefers to eat meat rarely. My youngest is 15m, so far hasn't shown any real dislikes. Though he did take longer to try the 3 bites for foods. Hubby and I had the standard, "You're going to sit in that chair until you eat everything in your plate." Growing up and always thought if you make your kid eat when they might not be hungry or if they don't like it. The food was more waste on the waist than if you let them decide if they are hungry. Or let them try it again later on. Taste buds can change over time. Especially if there are no bad memories associated with them.

[@ettinakitten5047]

I hope none of you ever have a kid with true food aversions, because they'll be miserable living with that rule.

[@techno-phobe3000]

I knew a Leiah who was obese. You weren't allowed to say it tho. Twice she gave me a lift home, twice I had to wait for literally 5 minutes while she "cleaned up the car quickly". By clean up the car she meant hide all the junk food wrappers, 2 black bags full to the brim! She blamed her weight on diabetes, all the junk food wrappers were someone else's - not hers, and nothing was ever her fault. The third time she offered a lift I was like, yeah nah.

[@Tacomaisalsonachomama]

Eating unknown allergens my whole life led to SLE (lupus) and global P. Nervous system damage. I changed my diet for better health and I never knew before then what it was like to feel well. I was sick my whole life

[@hanoh2904]

Second story reminds me of the bf who sold the gfs jewelry to pay for a vacation for them

[@jimdob6528]

GASP! Being FAT hurts you? NOOOOO! Say it isn’t so!

[@MildredCady]

Here's the issue... it's not the only thing that hurts... but everything else gets ignored.

[@ebayrose]

​@@MildredCadyYeah, like the bad types of food she's likely eating in large amounts. If you have a lot of crap with tons of sugar and processed junk and little nutrients that can cause a lot of health problems even if you're relatively thin overall. Also, we don't know how long she's been obese. If she's been extra large for her age all through her teens and into her twenties, during a large portion of her growth period, she could have damaged her joints and stunted her height. This happens not just with fat but with significant muscle weight as well. It's why there's restrictions on how much teen athletes and body builders are supposed to be allowed to do. But athletes at least have the muscles to support most of their extra weight, someone who's been active in terms of even basic walking around for years while eating a lot and growing fat doesn't have the muscles to cope with their weight. She likely needs to change her diet regardless as even if her weight isn't the primary cause it is making her condition worse and making it hard to diagnose if there is something else. But statistically it'll still be tied to her weight and diet.

[@Eppon6]

@@MildredCady The problem is that the doctors cannot accurately diagnose her levels of pain caused by a potential issue compared to what is caused by the stress of weight upon her body. Her losing weight is the first treatment step. Not the whole plan. If she loses weight, they can more accurately diagnose and treat underlying issues since weight will cause pain, so it can exacerbate existing conditions. They aren't just going to give her addictive drugs to remove pain while she can do something else first, because addictive substances like heavy painkillers are regulated. They tell her 'lose weight and see how that changes the pain you feel'. So they can legally prescribe her a painkiller amount they are then allowed to give for actual underlying concerns.

[@ironman_546]

​@@Eppon6You have no idea what the treatment plan is. You don't know if the doctors are willing to treat her at all. That's the problem. If disability caused weight gain, weight loss won't fix the disability

[@vincentlucario5450]

@@ironman_546however, if the pain didn’t start until long after the disability, how can you say the disabilities caused the pain? Obviously people don’t think you can regrow legs, replenish cells, etc, just by skipping the soda.

[@christinaburney5935]

If your daughter doesn't like steak by itself, have you tried A-1 sauce or any other sauce? I love steak, but I love it even more dround in steak sauce.

[@mbyerly9680]

I saw a short feature on the fat-positivity movement influencers who became well-known during the pandemic. The feature showed each person and said, "She/he is dead." I've had weight issues since puberty, and I'm much healthier when my weight is down. OP's friend needs to think long and hard about herself.

[@ironman_546]

"This disabled person needs to think long and hard about why they are disabled" gtfo with that bs. Somebody loses mobility, gains weight, then all of a sudden the loss of mobility is caused by the weight gain instead of vice versa.

[@TheRationalist.]

I saw that too. Crazy how the vast majority of them died. It's almost like being morbidly obese is not healthy.

[@Katzztar]

I'm disabled and obese. In my case, losing weight will not change my disability (DJD in the knees) but it would help. BUT the problem is that when you can't move about, it's hard to lose weight.

[@Azurion42]

Last Story: Typically, you don't need to exercise to lose weight. Yes, it helps speed things up, but counting calories, cutting out added sugar and watching saturated fat intake can and will help you lose weight. Sticking to right at or below the recommended daily intakes of added sugar and saturated fat will help lose weight. I know from personal experience.

[@ironman_546]

You also have to have a normal functioning hormonal system, no medicine that counteracts weight loss, and no conditions like ARFID or food aversion to work around. Seeing as this person is already disabled, she probably has at least one of these issues.

[@fangchick93]

Oh, absolutely. After a surgery to remove the ovarian cyst turned tumour that was blocking my intestines, weight just fell off without me changing my diet at all. It stopped now I'm on chemo, cause the one I'm on slows the metabolism, but it was so fast before that doctors were actually a bit concerned at the speed. 30+lbs in less than 3 months.

[@TheRationalist.]

All that it takes is a little self discipline. But it's almost non-existent in the west. 48% of adults are obese in the US.

[@TOMMY716]

You BUT IT ON HIS CARD BRO THAT MONEEY HE CANT GET BACK

[@zombiechicken7114]

Never force a person to eat. They may have intolerances or allergies. As long as she politely made the best of wgat was there and made no fuss she was fine!!

[@jinxgirl5]

If the friend in the last story has chronic pain, not just general aches from being obese, working out is going to be a struggle. It's hard to lose weight through diet alone, so even switching up what she eats might not help all that much. A dietician and maybe someone will physical therapy knowledge might help her find ways to ease into that in a way that takes her struggles into account

[@EnDB]

The doctors are right. Lose the weight, and it will be easier to treat the remaining issues. It does not mean that being obese is the only problem, but it is a major contributor to many problems. She should ask for those docs for guidance with weight loss and go from there.

[@ironman_546]

So why don't the doctors help with the underlying issue that makes the weight pack on? Doctors do NOT always listen to fat people when we say we are hurt. If she is disabled, how is she supposed to exercise? If no one believes that she aches all over, how is she supposed get accomodations or help from the doctors?

[@emilycurrent7489]

@ironman_546 imagine fighting a firefighter trying to put you out when you're aflame because you don't want the fire gone, just the smoke and burning skin. It's hard for doctors to treat overweight people (myself included, you're not alone) because it's hard to determine what the issue is when the weight is there. And the thing is, for the most part, weight is under your control. Take this woman: she should eat far less than she does. Why? She's not moving. She doesn't need the energy. If she ate far less, under the caloric deficit, she'd lose weight. It's science: you can't expand exponentially. Now, I know losing weight is a mental battle as well as a physical one. Like any addiction, it's rough. But it's also not the fault of anyone but the addict, nor can anyone help the addict until they help themselves.

[@vincentlucario5450]

@@ironman_546there are groups and advice that helps disabled people lose weight. Also, fat doesn’t help doctors when determining cause of pain, it gets in the way. I say she should try losing some weight, healthily of course, then see what if anything changes

[@sakatababa]

story 3: rude to not eat the food as a guest? damn, i wish she would come over so i prepare some fried crickets for her...

[@SNixon14]

The 2nd story, gosh OP is just dense. She just really doesn't get it. It's not what she bought, it's the price and the fact that she gifted her boyfriend by using HIS credit card. It's not a gift if she's using his money. IT would be a gift if she used her own. But now he has a gift he can't return and has to figure out how he's going to pay off his credit card. OP is of course the AH.

[@johnbriggs1038]

Did anyone else picture the girl from Clueless when they were listening to the guitar story?

[@BigBadWolfParty]

I'm sorry but 100lbs overweight at 25? It really sounds like she needs to try losing some of that weight first and if she's having trouble with that, then tell the doctors and see what they say or if there's something they give her to help.

[@AvyFerg]

Agreed with a caveat. She's at the point where she is so overweight that exercise likely hurts and will cause severe swelling+longer recovery. So she should get a referral to see a physical therapist. She needs a full metabolic panel. If everything is normal then she just needs to lose weight. If she has no heart issues, there are medications to help kickstart the weight loss. The problem is she's too defensive to accept the laws of physics.

[@Eppon6]

@@AvyFerg Exactly. Weight loss isn't an insult or them ignoring the issues she truly might have, it's the first step to full diagnosis and accurate treatment. I assume the doctors would have offered her resources to accomplish that if she weren't so unwilling to do anything to better her health.

[@ironman_546]

​@@Eppon6Hahahahaha it's cute you think doctors care about treating underlying conditions

[@ironman_546]

She did tell the doctors, you idiot. They aren't willing to help her. That's the entire problem

[@vincentlucario5450]

@@ironman_546do you often visit the zoo for weigh ins?

[@pamelalejeune2424]

Guitar story: I think one of the requirements is that you need to take a class and financial education the fact that you don’t know that you can’t return some thing that was put on a credit card is very concerning. You don’t know what interest is on a credit card that’s also concerning seriously you need to take class..

[@Dphantomfan369]

Story 2: grateful for what? OP put $2500 charge on his credit card behind his back and hand the tits to call it a gift. And even worse put no effort in attempting to make it seem like he should be grateful. Frankly, I don’t really care about the update. I am glad OP realize how stupid she was, but on the other hand, she should not have been this stupid in the first place. And I’m glad the BF has a backbone.

[@Allmight_Kitty]

yeah OP is not the brightest crayon in the box...

[@MMKMoore1]

Story 1 - Wow, egg donor is a user and pathological. OP is better off without her. I hope she gets the therapy she needs to deprogram what she learned. Story 2 - Yikes! OP used her BF's CC without his permission to buy him a present?! She'll be lucky if he doesn't dump her or press charges for this stunt. The way OP kept adding in her "ha ha ha"s. "So we don't get interest or whatever"!!!??! My flabbers are ghasted! He needs to take away his credit cards from her until she has some basic fiance classes. At least she's trying to make it right, bless her heart. Story 3 - The only one being a brat is MIL. Story 4 - The friend wants a doctor to validate her condition, she doesn't want to get healthy. The giveaway is her calling her doctors "fat phobic". Interesting how the commenters seem to think they're more qualified on giving medical advice without seeing the friend or having any medical training. 🙄

[@dm9078]

So Mom was a neglectful manipulative see you next Tuesday. NTA! Story two I’m actually laughing at this. She thinks using his money to buy him a gift that he wouldn’t buy for himself is a good gift. I am just floored by that. I mean it’s easy as hell to be generous to somebody when you’re using their money . She actually sees nothing wrong with this? YTA! it was possible to be an asshole more than 100% she would be!

[@ghostdragon5735]

St 2: YTA do he paid for his gift

[@michaelalanbaker7339]

Mark needs to dump her as soon as she pays off the debt. Gold digger and spoiled rich kid syndrome.

[@YvonneFobbs]

Story #2: Is your name Chrissy Snow??

[@pamelalejeune2424]

Picky eater story: As long as your daughter tries the food at least once then she’s fine. She’s at least making an effort to try new things and if she doesn’t like it, then she doesn’t like it. There’s no need to force it. Then you’ll just get a kid who will refuse to eat everything.

[@MegaJessness]

Last story: NTA overall for OP, cuz I get where she's coming from. Lots of other people get where she's coming from, but I also agree that the way it was given to Leah wasn't a good one. If you're obese, losing the extra weight somehow is always a good idea. However, that cannot and will not be the cure-all. For people with disabilities, it really won't be. Losing weight will make management easier, and lessen the impacts, but that's it. I think OP owes it to Leah to apologize for coming off as dismissive as the doctors, and clarify that losing weight must be a part of the treatment. Not THE plan, but part of it. If the doctors are treating weight loss as THE treatment plan, yeah no. There needs to be pain management and maybe even physical therapy involved.

[@krystiharper]

Story2: Her parents spoiled her they gifted her Gucci, Versace,and Parada and haven't taught her finances. She thought the price was ok because she was always gifted designer items.

[@jenniferhanses]

Eating at someone else's house: It's true you shouldn't complain. That's ungrateful. But the kid wasn't complaining. The kid was also eating the food offered to her, just not all of it. She was fine. Also worth pointing out that the kid had no choice to decline this dinner invitation, which is an option an adult would have to avoid this situation. Or did she? "Sorry, Grandma, I'm going to be busy at home, coloring pictures, so I'm not coming to dinner?" I at at my grandma's house every weekend as a kid. She did Sunday dinner. Everything was put on platters and bowls, and passed around the table. We all took what we wanted. Kids were not forced to eat things they didn't like because there were plenty of other things that they did.

[@RobertCampsall]

"You're the AH for parroting advice she already told you was unhelpful" - except, of course, she hasn't tried following the doctor's advice so how can she know it's unhelpful? And do we know that is all the doctor's said? I have to wonder if it was also dietary/nutrition advice and her symptoms may be related to deficiencies, but all friend heard was "diet" and ignored "nutrition" and declared it fatphobic?

[@bettreon]

"Red meat isn't even good for you" yeah ok hahaha

[@cheskydivision]

Next time op hosts MIL definitely cook food she hates and see the reaction.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Last story: I probably weigh more than OP's friend, and I have a physical disability, and yet I'm more mobile than OP's friend. Definitely something more than just obesity going on there. YTA.

[@suzismith9011]

Hi all 👋👋

[@mattwho81]

Hello There.

[@AnimeNut101]

Hello! 👋

[@carolroberts4614]

Hello to you too!

[@ivylovesrunning]

Doctors need to do their jobs. Blood tests and diagnostic are simple ways to see if their is anything going on with a person. The tiredness and body pains could be due to deficiencies. The standard diets are crap at covering vitamins and minerals with how expensive fruit and vegetables are in America as well as how cheap a most fast and processed foods are there.

[@austinfowler2707]

So im perplexed about the last story. I guess it comes down to: did she try losing weight? Yes, lack of mobility makes it harder to lose weight. But if shes having fast food every day, drinks pop instead of water, etc etc, then my sympathy is reserved at the least. Also, pointing out data, research, and statistics when discussing health in and of itself shouldnt be fatphobic, though that depends on how the information and tone is displayed. Granted...if this is in the US which it likely is, its alot easier said than done. I can say go to the gym, see a physical trainer, get on a better food program, but if they cant afford it... I guess all im trying to say is my sympathy goes only so far as the effort has. So i guess more context.

[@vincentlucario5450]

Given Leah didn’t say “I try to lose weight” but instead call everyone fatphobic, I don’t think she tried to lose weight. Depends where she’s at in the US, there’s tons of groups or programs that’s centered around a healthy lifestyle, it includes trainers, healthy food, equipment, etc for either no to low cost.

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 2: ... my God does this piece of driftwood manage to dress herself???

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 4: Being overweight isn't healthy and losing weight will improve any chronic pain and fatigue issues even when it won't cure it. OP owes no apologies. What this "friend" was saying was "how can I fix my problems without doing anything?"

[@Norinia]

Story 2 with the Update: Well, she doesn’t catch on too quick, but at least OP has shown she’s willing to go the mile to make things right. I hope she acts a little slower in the future, gives things time to think, but otherwise, at least she’s not the worst girlfriend in the world here. 😅😅😅