Autistic Inertia and Nervous System Regulation | Challenges on the Autism Spectrum

Autistic Inertia is an interesting topic when it comes to the world of autism! In this video we will explore what it is, how it presents, and what we can do about it.
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⏰ TIMESTAMPS ⌛️
Click on any of the timestamps below to jump to a specific section of the video.
0:44 Welcome
1:37 What is Autistic Inertia?
2:43 Doesn’t everyone deal with this?
4:17 Associated guilt and shame
4:36 Management strategies
6:13 Staying present
7:33 Meltdown Survival Guide
DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, KZbin Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, KZbin channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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[@Bretagnething]

This is amazingly clarifying. I always called it "jackrabbit syndrome" because like a jackrabbit, I can go and go and go, but once I put my butt down, it's DOWN. This explains so much, thank you!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Haha love this. Thanks for sharing

[@Nildaem]

right, i've just owned the sentence "i'm a creature of momentum"... keep goin to keep goin, cuz if i stop, i'm stopped. I get frustrated when someone tells me to hurry and get ready when they clearly need more time to get ready than i do.. **why am I now the one waiting?** I also swear i sleep on my reset button more often than not...

[@sourgreendolly7685]

That's a good one! I think of my brain like a hummingbird - it's either flitting around quickly or it's not 'alive' as far as how it feels 😅

[@nikkib317]

The more I learn about autism, the more I feel understood. I finally had my testing 4 days ago and I already know what the results will be. Most people I tell act like I'm crazy because I don't "look" autistic. Thank you so much for making these videos because they are so incredibly helpful and informative. They also show people that the stereotypes for Autism are so wrong. You can be female and Autistic. You can have friends. You can be Homecoming Queen. You don't have to be a boy obsessed with trains.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for your comment! Sending good vibes for your eval results.

[@nikkib317]

@@MomontheSpectrum Thank you so much!!!

[@MicahMicahel]

what does an autistic person look like? ignorant people are fine though. We can't expect anyone to understand because even psychologists don't. You can see by their studies that they often don't. People won't understand. It's just useful to understand shortcomings and potential 'superpowers.'

[@annelogston]

Congratulations on getting through your testing! I found mine really brutal and it sent me into a two-day shutdown. I agree 100%, this channel is SUCH a help!

[@nikkib317]

@@annelogston It was definitely brutal. I cried 2 times and had to stop and take a walk. I was burnt out for several days. I finally get my results Oct. 11th.

[@ArtyAntics]

I find it really hard to ground myself when in sensory overwhelm. It makes me shutdown if I try. Sometimes changing the sensation can help but it’s a bit hit and miss for me atm. I once had an older autistic friend explain that it takes less energy to group similar tasks together and it was life changing. I believe it is because it reduces this autistic inertia you are talking about. Once I’m out the house and get used to it, it’s easier to do all the outside chores. But I wouldn’t mix that with socialising or another category of task or I’ll get burnout. Batching my tasks really helps!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Great tips! Thanks for sharing.

[@KaciCreates]

Grouping tasks is how I’ve always functioned. I’ve been in burnout lately and my doctors keep telling me to pace my activities. They don’t understand that I have to do everything at once because if I stop it takes all my energy to get started again!

[@claremfrench]

interesting. i think i have always done this anyway, but so useful to see it and be able to choose it as a strategy x

[@mofolk8896]

I knew immediately what this was going to be about. The description of my life. I can’t leave the house to get anywhere on time. Sometimes I can’t get out of the car when I come home. You’re right, knowing that it’s a thing makes it easier to recognize and deal with. Thanks for your channel. ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! And so glad you could relate to kind of internalizing it as soon as you saw it! Totally relate.

[@barbarawalker7122]

Not being able to get places on time....THIS is a place I must offer myself grace!

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

Wow - this describes my struggles with motivation perfectly. Starting is things - even things I enjoy - is always difficult. The thing is, so is stopping. Once I get started, I'll often become so involved that I lose track of time. Great, right? Not neccessarily. Overinvolvement leads to other tasks being neglected. Contemporary life and work in Western technological cultures has become incredibly complex and demands constant task switching. Add in the stress of constant distractions from visual and auditory sources like computer screens and phones, and urban environments, and I feel like I'm under constant assault. This explains why I become angry / hostile sometimes when well meaning people try to chat me up as I'm heading out to run errands or am engrosed in something. So another dimension to autistic inertia is how it impacts social functioning. It's really hard to get me out to parties. Once there, I feel like I'm in a battle zone, so I drink to dull my senses and reduce anxiety. I'm also the first to arrive and last to leave. Then, because of the self medication with booze, my sleep is disrupted, and the next day is shot, and my routine is destroyed, sometimes it can take weeks to re-establish. Yes, I've tried not drinking at parties. It makes them absolutely intollerable. If I don't drink, I'm the first to leave! Unstructured social gatherings feel like a gang assualt on me. ...and people wonder why I've become more and more reclusive as I've aged! My primary stiming method is playing guitar and singing. Nothing brings me more joy or peace. Starting and stopping is still hard, and once I start, I'll play for hours without stopping. This has led to me becoming quite proficent, even though I didn't start until I was in my 50s. I enjoy performing for people because it doesn't require much interaction, except through my instruments. People are also very appreciative rather than competitive or whatever it is they get up to in unstructured settings. Best of all, I'm able to control the sonic environment so that it's soothing to my nervous system - and apparently, to that of nuerotypical people as well. I think that autism is ultimately "the same" as being nuerotypical in the same way that anyone who can run is "the same" as Usain Bolt. We are blessed and cursed with extreme sensitivities and abilities. On an Olympic race track, Usain Bolt's running ability is a gift. If he tries to sprint full speed through a crowded subway though, someone's going to get hurt. If he races ordinary people everywhere he goes, they are not going to like him much. Being autistic is like being a sprinter who has to sprint all the time or not at all and not knowing it, much less why. Seems to me finding a way of life that allows us to do do what we do best and not do what we do worst is the best life for us.

[@avosmash2121]

This is such a great analogy.

[@JakeLDS]

I'm a DJ and one of the things I've said I always have liked about DJing is that I can be at parties and social events but not have to socialise. I just stand in the corner playing my music, doing my nerdy technical thing but I'm also able to show people a bit of who I am and what I feel through the songs I choose without having to talk to them myself. People get it and enjoy it. One of my main stims is dancing as well. Being a DJ that loves dancing people seem to think I'm incredibly sociable but I really do not feel like that. I also used to self medicate with booze. I thankfully managed to quit booze completely 5 years ago and it has helped me massively. It causes and exaggerates so many problems that we think we're using it to alleviate and that is where the problem lies. A book called Kick The Drink by Jason Vale really help to explain this. Sometimes you have to accept that certain situations are not for you instead of trying to force it with booze. However, you'll probably find that just like me socialising becomes easier once you have quit alcohol for long enough. For me it was around 3-6 months mark where I learnt to socialise better without alcohol than with it. We think alcohol is relaxing us but it actually casues tons fo anxiety and stress. Once you're far enough removed from that you're better equipped to deal with the overwhelming sensations of a social situation yourself Instead of with booze.

[@Charlotte-hv6ll]

Something that helps me when I'm unable to move/start a new 'thing' is planning out (for me saying it out loud helps) what it is that I'm going to do and what that looks like. For example, I'll be sitting and the floor and say; ''I'm going to close my laptop, put it to the right of me, get up off the floor, walk towards the toilet, use the toilet. After that I'll walk over toward the sink and wash my hands with the soap that I know is over there. When I'm done with all that I can see what my next plan will be''. This is just an example, sometimes I'll plan further ahead or less detailed, but it all depends on how overwhelmed or stuck I feel. Before going to/entering the supermarket I like to visualize in my head what the store looks like and the path I will take. Again these things help me a lot, because the activity is filled with less uncertainty. I know exactly what I expect of myself. I know the steps I'm going to take and I know that I'm able to deal (or not deal) with those individual steps. It takes the uncertainty and fear of the unknown a bit out of doing things, which is really important to me because I break down when I don't know what's coming or what's expected of me. I hope this tip might help someone. It can feel silly to have to plan out something as mundane or 'simple' as going to the toilet, but if it helps you to actually do it than it's not silly. Just because other people might not need help with certain things does not mean you (and me, as I'm saying this to myself as well) don't deserve help with it.

[@erindoty9448]

Oh my gosh! I thought I was the only one to preemptively walk through the grocery store. I even have my grocery list set up in the order I come to things in the store. I hadn't realized it was a strategy I used to help with the transition to the store (which I hate going to).

[@PijamaGuitar]

I’ve never heard of the term before but it’s definitely something I struggle with on a daily basis. Often sit in the car for a little while too 😂 .It’s incredibly frustrating in terms of both my productivity and the worry that I appear lazy or unmotivated to others. As a male diagnosed with ADHD last year at 41 and currently on the ASD assessment waiting list (long wait here in the UK), I feel I resonate more with some of the female presentations of both ADHD & ASD and that’s possibly why it’s gone unnoticed with me for so long 🤷‍♂️ Only recently discovered your channel but I’m finding your content incredibly useful - thank you. Hope your tea didn’t get too cold :-)

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Haha I know I was sipping it in between my words but felt weird keeping it in when I was editing lol. So now I just awkwardly hold a cup for a while Lolol

[@PijamaGuitar]

@@MomontheSpectrum glad you got to drink it 😂

[@geraintwd]

Hey, also in the UK and male in my 40s. Not diagnosed with either ASD or ADHD, but I have amassed a mountain of evidence for both conditions. If you feel like you have both, I would suggest checking out a video by Yo Samdy Sam that highlights 5 things that are common in people with both ASD and ADHD. It was really helpful for me.

[@mariannadooley3014]

I find I’ll get n the car and drive, but will change my mind as to where I’m going, so drive past my destination, and then just keep driving aimlessly, not being able to decide where to go instead. Eventually I’ll either pull in and try and make a decision, or I’ll just drive home. This happens me ALOT. Wondering if this is autistic inertia?

[@summermazur3064]

I totally experience this. With me, it's starting tasks. When I finish a big task or get interrupted, it takes so much effort for me to start the next thing or get back to what I was doing!

[@ashlinglynam1985]

Omg I’m literally crying here because I thought I was the only one who arrives at a destination but doesn’t leave the car for 10 minutes because I need to zone out to feel ok again.. I’m 35 and I’ve only been diagnosed 2 months ago, it was a complete shock but I’m so proud of myself for getting through my very traumatic life on my own. Thank you for these videos, you’re help and knowledge is greatly appreciated xxx

[@taoist32]

We need a parking for only Autistic people. That way, when we’re all zoning out we could it together.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re so welcome! I’m glad you have found the channel helpful

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@@taoist32 hahaha I love this idea so much

[@taoist32]

@@MomontheSpectrum Yes, it is! I do it in my driveway every time I come home from work. Parking spaces for us would be awesome.

[@cnightingale9]

I don’t have a car and I don’t drive because I think it would be way too stressful for me.

[@waynepalumbo8917]

Omg the car bit, sometimes I just sit there almost like I'm just existing and experiencing the feeling of just existing.

[@niko.4823]

I've struggled with this my whole life but have never realized it's such a deep pattern. I have done the sit-in-the-car-and-struggle-to-move thing more times than I can count. I've reached my destination, sat for 20 minutes, then just drove home so many times and I'd always get so frustrated with myself and not understand why. It helps so much to be able to put these moments and difficulties into words and know that other people struggle in the same ways. 🖤

[@user-yv6xw7ns3o]

Yes, the stuck in the car thing.. I used to be so excited as a kid to go to my drumset lessons, but when we arrived at the teacher's house I'd get so uncomfortable and be stuck fidgeting in the car for 10-20 minutes, overwhelmed and emotional, before I would be able to get out of the car and calm down to start the lessons, which I would end up enjoying once I actually got to the drums.. exhausting though. I was always so worn out trying to get out of the car that I would just choose to stay in the car during grocery shopping etc.. somehow as an adult just now figuring out I'm probably on the spectrum I'm realizing how I've ended up masking this behavior and saving it for when people won't notice I'm just sitting in my car. 😂

[@ACKaplanis]

Taylor, you channel is so meaningful to me. I'm raising a daughter on the spectrum and to see women openly sharing about their diagnosis, problems, strategies and solutions is helpful to me understanding, then guiding my daughter through it. Thank you so much!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re so welcome! Thank you for taking the time to share this with me. You are an awesome mom!

[@TheVisitors44]

My 21 year old daughter has autism. She recently started having trouble getting out of the car. She will even stop at the front door talking a while to step inside. She is non verbal so couldn’t explain what was going on. It’s so comforting to hear this explained by someone who experiences it. Thank you so much!

[@danawaldrop4930]

Back in the late 60s my mother took my brother in for one shot. It was the DPT before they attenuated the pertussis portion. Anyway, he lost all words and stopped making eye contact all in a 48 hour window! I'm now almost 60 and I can recall he and I sitting in the car on a nice day just sungazing...my mother throwing up her hands. She knew we would get out eventually. He was on the far end of the spectrum, he fed himself but couldn't prepare the food or even shave when he was an adult. I was completely functioning - never knew I was autistic until I was an adult, for decades I thought it was just ADD but it was autism (I see this now). I spent most of my adult life researching vaccines but never really researched 'autism' even tho I knew the cause. But I just wanted to say I believe there will be some new technology that will come along and help our brains... it will be soon so hang in there! And thank you for your comment because it brought back sweet memories for me. Also reminded me of the time he threw my rollers on top of the house then pushed me out of the tree when I tried to get them... but that's a story for another day, lol!

[@cassandrahale4186]

I definitely resonate with what you said about knowing what the behavior is and being able to cope with it better by giving yourself grace. I found out I was on the spectrum about a year ago and since I found out I've felt more comfortable in my own skin. I KNOW why I behave the way I behave. I KNOW why I struggle with social interactions. I KNOW why I need time to decompress. I KNOW why and that knowledge is powerful. It's what is allowing me to do well in graduate school - besides the topic is what I'm passionate about - and it's what is allowing me to plan times to decompress before doing things that require more brain effort. I really like the term autistic inertia. It definitely made sense when I saw your video, but I couldn't explain HOW it made sense. Right now, for example, I just finished babysitting my best friend's kids and I know that I need to take a moment to self-regulate before I can dive back into graduate school mode. I also really liked the term "autistic stare". It made me laugh because it's SO relatable to me and it's literally when I "go brain dead" for a moment. Thank you for creating this community of people that are on the spectrum but don't "look" the part.

[@joycebrewer4150]

I had a sudden memory of a conversation I had with my dad back when I was a teen. I had asked a question, and for several seconds the most totally blank expression came over his face, as I guess he struggled with how to answer me. I bet that was his autistic stare. He never was diagnosed, but looking back, I suspect he was.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re very welcome! And you’re right, just KNOWING WHY you do things is completely life. Changing.

[@heedmydemands]

Yes autistic stare off into the distance lol, yeah I do that for sure, especially a lot in the morning. Transitioning to being an awake person is sucky

[@Kevin-rr1nm]

One of the greatest things though, is that with time, you can redirect these unbearable tasks into a new subject of hyper-focus so your inertia can build on the task at hand, for better efficiency. Its kind of funny, there was a time I saw some lady in the distance at the store rushing around with the cart zippin' past people near her, and I thought that lady shops like I do and knows how to get it done. Halfway thru the store realize....its my mom, with the same coping mechanism. Hyper-focused to get in and get the hell out..which mostly is I think a natural adaptation to avoid that nervous system mess(which I always thought of as like nervous energy in anticipation of impending sensory overload) This is not to say that getting out of that frozen transition state is easy though. It took me years to adapt and realize the true beauty of what the strengths (which is what these things are, especially the inertia on task) of the spectrum can do for us with some work and redirection.

[@camclark7046]

I am just starting my discovery of the autistic life. It was just a couple of months ago that my wife (ADHD) raised the question "could you be autistic?" As I've researched since then, I am convinced. And this video is one more piece in my puzzle. I am so like. Getting up to leave the house is so challenging some days. As is getting up to go to bed at night. Or doing a needed task. One strategy that I have used is give myself a reward. Something on the lines of "Once you complete these three tasks, you can reward yourself by watching KZbin videos for the rest of thew evening. Or eat your favourite safe food.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing your experience here!

[@letsrock1729]

This really resonates with me. I often go without essential food items (milk etc) for days because I can't leave the house to buy them. And getting ready for bed is a constant nightmare. I've dropped off to sleep at the dining table (in the early hours of the morning) and then woken up while in the process of falling off my chair...all because I can't get up to go to bed.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

My husband always jokes that he needs a cattle prod to get me out of bed in the morning. Getting out of bed is my hardest transition. Autistic inertia.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oof I feel this

[@nerissarowan8119]

I started listening to inertia videos this morning while trying to get myself out of bed.

[@tottythetwink6189]

I'm glad that there's a name to it. Idk why but it makes me feel better. I do this all the time when I need to cook. Sometimes I can't even step foot in the kitchen because it's way too much even when I have food already prepped. Or even physically getting out of bed on bad days, I'm fully rested and want to do anything but it feels like there's this invisible 10,000 volt forcefield keeping me from even putting my foot over the side. Thanks for talking about it!

[@moonbread2334]

same, I do that with cooking and laundry. you described the feeling perfectly!

[@dianahiggins9385]

As a child it took me time to move from the moment of not eating to eating, staring at my plate and thinking, then with effort change to the moment of using the spoon to take food to my mouth. I thought this strange awareness of the "change effort" had no explanation. Eureka moment Mom on the Spectrum, this must be inertia! And now as an adult, I think I experience inertia and I overeat (keep eating until the plate is empty, even if not hungry).

[@sylviebrazeau3040]

Mornings are so difficult for me, especially after my "weekend" I'm in the bathroom in my pjs in front of the mirror, not knowing what to do.

[@fionashaw9097]

I struggle a lot with my interoception specifically, and so a big breakthrough that I had is that I usually struggle to start or stop something most when there is something in my body that needs attention. If I notice that I'm unable to start or stop I try and do a review of my body and see if I'm hungry or tired or need the bathroom, and if one of those things is true and I can address it first that really helps me to then be able to move on to what I want to do next.

[@moonbread2334]

same, learning to ask myself those questions has helped me so much! feels a little silly sometimes as though I'm roleplaying my own parent or something haha, but hey, it's what I need!

[@patriciagarrity8220]

@@moonbread2334 whatever works, right?!

[@ArtyAntics]

Same here! Thanks for posting as I hadn’t put the 2 together!!!

[@fionashaw9097]

@@moonbread2334 I have a toddler who is also learning how to understand his own body, so I feel like I'm parenting myself and him at the same time! Having a toddler has actually helped me a lot though - the tips I'm learning to help him with meltdowns and learning how to take care of himself work just as well on me.

[@deborahlee8135]

Thank you, I'd not made this connection but have noticed I'll grab a glass of water while thinking what I need to do next or go to my thinking place (toilet) .... these actions seem to help me move to next action. I can try this today. 🙂

[@Mikeyboi699]

When I study I find it a lot easier to get started if I have a combination of sitting to write notes and answer questions and doing the same thing on a big whiteboard whilst standing up and also pacing. This way I can be walking around whilst trying to understand and answer a question and this helps loads as I lose focus so easily if I'm just sitting down and trying to figure out a question or trying to write notes whilst sitting down. This unfortunately means that being sat down in a lecture hall and trying to keep up with the lecture is quite awful as I am sat down for the whole time, it doesn't help as well that I am a visual learner and most of my lectures when explaining something say it but don't illustrate it very well.

[@visionvixxen]

Thank you so much for sharing this how do we help ourselves it’s been so demoralizing for me because I’m supposedly really smart, but I have failed out of so many things and I’m the type of learner where if there’s a question I have to figure it out before I can move on and then I need to see it in real life I see all the elements happening not just the words, and then sometimes I need to stop and replay the images and ask questions and even then maybe do it several times and then do it again several times and again and eventually it stays with me, but you can’t do this in a classroom and it happens almost the whole time you’re learning and so it’s basically like sitting in a room trying to learn from people speak in another language useless Now in small towns when other students in care and the teacher was standing above me and I could have them answer every question and it was irritating, but they didn’t have anyone else to bother them I could learn and it took so much effort on my part but I was actually valedictorian of my school. Anyway I’m still not at the place of Tryon because I’ve tried so many times and be beaten down and people don’t understand you and do you understand that they can’t stand you and you’re being demanding that you you have not figured out a way or system in which you’re investing your money and time in the upper level education will not be wasted this even happens if you’re working in a coffee shop or clothing shop it in general you’re just harder for people to deal with and it makes it hard to watch I don’t know I’m just I’m not sad for myself right now but I really I feel like someone be normal and have a stroke and can’t walk either eat or do anything and can’t talk and didn’t really know they had a stroke all this time but has a sense something is wrong but they basically basically been working on it all this time and now maybe they’re getting close to someone telling them but their years of experience over and over told him nothing is going to help me nothings gonna help me and so like trying and all the energy and all of that more people don’t want to hear it and you’re trying but it’s exhausting it it’s become better to nod your head and smile like me trying to live is not feather right now and so it’s I’m not hurting but I haven’t found reasons to live yet I’m just existing now and I hope that something can change for us because at least I had a hope of people understanding me or me being a better friend if I got a job or with better at my job or became prettier or learn more about human behavior or try to different medication or even the Bible I kept on having hopes and it’s just rude to sit here right now I feel like what if it’s always gonna be like this like all I don’t know how to live like this I guess it’s really depressing and I’m trying to sit with it Often times I don’t even have the energy anymore to try to exercise it’s weird I don’t know if it’s depression I don’t know anyways

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oof good points.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@@visionvixxen I’m sorry to hear about your struggles but you’re not alone! You can check out my big autistic resource guide which is full of helpful things for the community or look into autistic community groups that can connect you to others like you! Info for both are available on my website momonthespectrum.life. I would love to connect with you!

[@libertylowman]

This helped me so much. When you said "we dont have a lot of examples. Do it your way" it motivated me to BE the example of what autistic success can look like. I had a bad meltdown yesterday and felt like a complete failure. But Im nit a failure, my success journey just doesnt look like a neurotypical

[@MomontheSpectrum]

YES!! BE the example! I love it.

[@MorePranaGardens]

Yes, the phrase instantly made sense to me - as I'm sitting here trying to make myself work. It's been really bad this week.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I'm sorry to hear that but glad the concept seems to fit. Mine has been especially intense too.

[@MorePranaGardens]

@@MomontheSpectrum Thanks for writing back. I wish you happy forward momentum. 💜🌱💜

[@-AnnaAnna-]

Thank you SO MUCH for this video! It really helped me to understand myself better! 💗∞

[@bessyloutunes]

I’ve heard of this and it’s so real. Changing activities is incredibly jarring but the frustration is extreme. The part about getting stuck in the car makes me feel so seen. It’s not just me. Having to try and recollect myself to do the next activity whether it’s unpack groceries or co-ordinate the next lot of actions.

[@Dancestar1981]

We just need more time to process information and to deliberately get in the zone I have both ASD and ADHD

[@PatriseHenkel]

I don’t have a spectrum diagnosis but wow do I know this one. I’ve learned so much about regulation from you and other neurodivergent people. My whole life I’ve battled over-reaction and how destructive it has been in my life. Thank you

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome. ❤ thanks for your comment

[@ShowMe896]

I have to procrastinate to finally be panicked enough to motivate me to get it done.

[@lindaclairesartori]

Difficulty with transitions, big time!! I did not know it was autistic. I feel better knowing. 74 and just got diagnosed.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing Linda! Glad you’re here.

[@memery2781]

Omg it's is so comforting to hear that this is an actual thing with a name. Once again I feel like you are describing myself to me Tay, and it's so so helpful. I've recently started to tap into the fact that I have inertia when I'm getting ready in the morning, and right when I get home from work. But the second I sit down to relax, its game over for the rest of the day. As much as I want to relax in between activities, it just doesnt work

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Awareness is so important! Sounds like you are learning to understand your patterns

[@kukalakana]

This explains a lot about how I'm having trouble with tasks, especially now I'm hitting middle age -- although I'm sure that hitting middle age also has something to do with it.

[@manfredkandlbinder3752]

One thing over the course of the last few years learning to live with this new information about myself ( I learned being on the spectrum with 41, a bit over three years ago) concerns the point around 5:30 living the life by neurotypical standards. I came to realize that my biggest problems do not lie in the question how to achieve such a life. The problems already start with me never asking myself if that is actually a life plan i truly want for myself. A problem i discovered is shared with many neurotypicals as well. They struggle, hustle and try their best achieving something which they actually never wanted, but they simply did not know. Of course there is also the problem with society, peer pressure and the strange looks you might get when you openly challenge all the checkboxes everyone seems to have on their to-do lists these days. Ultimately it made me a more content, calmer and happier person. I switched out this exhausting internal struggle forcing myself to achieve things that mean nothing to me with an external struggle with people that fail to understand me. Which is much easier to deal with, i can tell you as much. It saves so much energy and leaves me happier and content at the end of every day then i was ever in the 40 years before that.

[@michellemakeuptutorials]

I also have an innate understanding of the phrase once I heard it, and it does resonate so much with me! It is so hard to get myself to do something once i have stopped, no matter how much I want to- it is so annoying bc it really does get to me and keeps me from doing what I need to do/ I also would just sit in the car and then go back home rather than go inside ....even for my channel, I either upload every day or often OR once I hit a pause, I can't get myself to upload again, I fight myself mentally for a week or more trying to get back in the game

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! I totally resonate with this.

[@Tarynbreann]

This could literally be the title of my life story!! It is so hard to try to express just how difficult it is to start or stop something’s sometimes 😣

[@toriaddict8451]

I completely resonated with the "feeling of needing to change my skin". That's a statement I've made, my Entire life and no one has Ever understood it! Thank you for your videos and guidance! I've been to 17 therapists in the last 26 years & had WAY too many incorrect diagnosises. It wasn't until i found your videos that I realized both my daughter and I are on the spectrum. I'm grateful to you, cause now i can educate myself on how to properly help myself And Her! So hopefully she doesn't have the same bad experiences that I did in life.

[@rebeccat9389]

Every time I watch one of your videos it's about something that's a huge struggle for me. Wow. I just thought I was tired or something. The stuck in the car thing has actually been a huge problem for me. Thank you so much for this video! I'm not diagnosed but this is one more thing to put on the list.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome! I'm glad this video was helpful to you.

[@TziporaRaphaella]

Omg. The car thing. I lived in Chicago for a long time without a car so being back in a situation with the cat made it so much mroe noticeable. I love driving too and have always felt safe in cars (probably because it’s also a small enclosed space and there’s music) but gosh I lose so much time in the car and have such a hard time getting out. I also like to use the car to make phone calls because they’re somehow easier there? I’m fascinated by where autistic inertia and autistic burnout connect because I’ve had several periods in my life or literal years- often there’s a lot of physical health stuff connected as well and I’m significantly physically disabled in general- where I end up profoundly isolated, rarely leave the home, just am not functioning. I didn’t have good parents. I was very neglected. I’ve been trying to ask for help for so many years and I mean with this and people don’t understand me or shove home health at me and I’m like no that’s not what I want and I don’t want people to do things for me because often that just makes the inertia worse. I want help helping myself basically. But oof. There’s a version of this that’s very dangerous and severe. If you’ve heard of the case of the autistic woman Lacey who died after years on her parents couch. I feel like I’ve been half a step away from that a few times in my life. And when I’m in these places I feel like 100x more autistic. I struggle so much harder to communicate and interact or even speak. My brain is just so wildly overwhelming. I’ve been through an extreme trauma or basically a life destroying cascade of them and I’m not getting out of it or the help I need on any front (lord of complicating factors in addition to the autism) and the only keeping from total inertia and never leaving the bed is literally that I’m homeless in a hotel alone. But yeeeah. Trying to find the words to explain these experiences to people. Or having doctors and therapists treat like I’m being dramatic or I’m just fine and can take care of myself better than I say. It’s so freaking hard. I should stop rambling. I’m just… processing a lot. Which I think is part of it. Like I haven’t had the chance e to process my traumas and all the crap on my back and I just can’t function at all. It sucks. It sucks how little understanding or support there is for autistic adults. It sucks.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I'm sorry to hear about what you've gone through. Thank you for sharing this - I know it will help many others who come across your comment!

[@sheaballard3022]

My autistic inertia is mostly with my sleep schedule. I have difficulty with transitioning between sleep and wakefulness.

[@heedmydemands]

I just realized a difficult transition for me is deciding to not finish reading a book all the way to the end, like fiction I mean. I usually do like almost any book I pick up but sometimes it does feel a tad draggy but I feel compelled to finish it because I've started it and.. it'd b insulting if I didn't conclude it? Does anybody else identify with that?

[@cheesebread3]

Yes, this was a hard habit for me to get out of. But I decided consciously that I didn’t wanna spend anymore time slogging through books I didn’t enjoy when there’s a whole world of books out there just waiting to be discovered.

[@Federico-zm1ym]

Good morning Tell her I have a question for you You're always so sweet and kind and she'd start off every morning by saying good morning and each one of your videos I like that so good morning I love you❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

👋🏻 good morning! Sending love your way too 💗

[@ROBYNMARKOW]

I dk if I have ASD but I do have ADD & I just dk where to begin w/things like housekeeping so I don't even start until I feel pressured to do so . Also, I won't leave my apt for several days in a row bcuz I can't stand being in a public place , (especially since Covid. ) Anyway, I planned a trip to another city to try & get out of my comfort zone .Finally, I love my two 🐈's; they don't judge me( not verbally anyway-lol)& have helped me through some rough days.

[@heathers7265]

I've found grocery store pickups (where they bring the groceries to the car) to be a lifesaver for me. 😅

[@MomontheSpectrum]

YESSS 💯

[@whitneymason406]

Great topic! I definitely deal with this especially towards the end of the week

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Good point about it varying depending on time periods!

[@mynamenotgiven5717]

Yes

[@butterflynerd0078]

Yes same here!

[@ArtyAntics]

I wonder if this is part of demand avoidance? I’ve sat in my car for hours to avoid food shopping before. This concept really has me intrigued and I keep coming back 😂

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Could be!

[@ashtonlebleu6164]

I was totally thinking the same thing

[@MsJRose11]

Wow that’s crazy I do this all the time at the gym when I get there I sit in the car forever bjt once I get started it’s hard to Stop 2 hours will pass and I go ooooo I need to leave then when I get to the car I sit and chill sometimes like 20 mins wow this is so weird never knew this was a thing

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yep this is exactly what I’m talking about!

[@brostenen]

I always struggeled with it. And I am late diagnosed as well (diagnosed at the age of 37). I remember that it was hard for me as a child. School were hard as I never could do my homework and turn in assignments. I never got around to do my homework eighter. I simply had to learn during education. But people did not see my Aspergers. Yes they saw that I were a but different, but the only thing people focused on, were my productivity. During the entire primaery school, I were dunked on, and called lazy. My mother always yelled at me, and called me lazy. I was told that all I had to do, were just to pull my self together. That statement is like the only support I ever recieved in school. No wonder I had a deep distain and hatred to school, up untill the age of some 35. I hated school, but did go each and every day, as I were told that I should. I think that is why I never missed school, because my parents told me that I had to. But christ..... I hated school to my guts, I hated going to school and get bullied, hated that teachers let the kids bully as hard as they wanted, hated that the teachers closed their eyes, hated it all.... Worst 10 years of my life.

[@HarrisonsGX]

I always refer back to a time when I was quite depressed, looking for work (I was made redundant during the financial crisis) and one time I was thirsty. On the table in front of me was a glass of water but for some reason, I couldn't move. I wanted to drink it but I couldn't reach forward to pick it up. I've had a lot of times like this but that one really sticks in my head.

[@jeffreyhurley3243]

I'm wondering now if my "requirement" to be early to everything is a subconscious way of buffering time to avoid inertia fall out. If I'm on time (let alone even 1 minute late to something) there is an anxiety that just doesn't quit for hours in some cases. I need that moment in the car for some more sips of coffee and perhaps 1-3 more songs on the radio and stare off 😄 Being fortunate enough to have a hybrid schedule, I can focus at home on those items that I have no intention of stopping once I start and save my people energy and transitional needs for the office days 😃

[@corvanphoenix]

Your car thing? My bed thing!!! 🤯

[@retroactivejealousy-worldl1805]

I would associate this with AD(H)D rather than autism (I have both)?

[@vivianaguerrer-montoya7854]

I'm not sure wether I'm autistic or not. While I have a lot of traits, and struggle with many normal things for others, I keep finding things I can relate to in your channel, so thank you very much. Like this one exactly, this Inertia, my gosh! I didn't know it even had a name, but wow it gets so hard to transition and adapt for normal life activities. I feel so guilty and less fit for life when I need so much time to "do nothing" just being there, when I'm about to do something I should get done... Maybe you know what I mean. Even knowing this is a thing is getting helpful, I'm starting to realize I can soothe myself to help me get through these transitions better, but also push myself a little bit more, because it's just part of that weird part of me. Now I have a new word, I could go like: "well, it's another of my transition inertia moments, so I'll just push through it" I guess. It also makes so much sense why I need to take a walk at the park, play with my cat, have some tea, or do my daily yoga, do these things almost as daily sacred rituals. These little things are my treasures, not a luxury.

[@maggienicols-anothervoice671]

Yes ‘daily sacred rituals’. Essential for me xx

[@corsai7506]

Love the topic, thanks!, better than the uesal autism fluff

[@GhostIntoTheFog]

I tried journaling, but I couldn't keep it up. I don't know if it's a matter of spoon count or executive functioning, but even thinking about spending 5 or 10 minutes every day of the week recording my emotional states is exhausting to me.

[@maggienicols-anothervoice671]

Oh my goddess yes. Transitions are so challenging. Hard to start, hard to stop. This is why I love being an improvising musician cos I get to transition continuously within the music once it’s started!! I also share simple, powerful ways into improvisation in workshops as I was shown by my mentor John Stevens who was definitely not neuro typical!! Thank you for this video.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

oh my goddess :) love it

[@jenbloom6848]

That’s what it’s called! I thought it was just weird ol’ me.

[@autisticfairy8002]

I feel stuck in between NT and ASD, like I'm not fully either. But all your details describe me.

[@jackieli772]

I just thought of one! When I realize I’m experiencing inertia, I can break down the thing I’m doing into components and choose to “continue” doing one of them. For example, I’m watching a KZbin video by Mom on the Spectrum on Autistic Inertia. I can choose to keep watching KZbin videos. I can also choose to keep thinking about autistic inertia… maybe while I make lunch.

[@angsfeatheredfriends]

I haven't left my property in over 20 years, and I am fine with that (I live on an 11 acre hobby farm (closest neighbor is 2 miles away), so that is a perk). Aside from doctor appointments. I do everything else online (I even do therapy online now). Including shopping. With a 1 time a month pickup from walmart for food. I don't even need to go inside anymore to shop. 1 nice thing to come out of Covid. (my local store would have never transitioned otherwise) I still am constantly stressed out because my family, I assume, hates me, and hates that I don't do anything "meaningful" with my life. They constantly let me know how they feel. Ever day I am met with disapproval by my mother. She in turn hears it from my grandmother. I quit talking to the rest of my family decades ago because of the stress. It wasn't worth it. Toxic relationships are never worth it! Even if they are blood. I am not a social butterfly. While my mom and grandmother are extroverts. Therefor everyone else should be them. They are perfect you are not. I would tell them to go &^*^% themselves, but they are all I have left now. Best I can do is just put my headset on, put on my favorite music and play a video game I really enjoy. My main issue is I go through a constant cycle of anhedonia.

[@Herk988]

I find going through the drive through at fast food places challenging! To work up the courage to place an order, I try to memorize exactly what I want to order, then repeat it to myself over and over. Isn’t that the strangest thing, to have such trouble initiating the drive through order conversation? I’ve found it’s easier to just have my spouse do the ordering or have him go inside to place a take out order. It decreases my stress level and prevents potential meltdowns. 🤷‍♀️

[@kalieris]

I have ended up downloading the apps for the fast food places I go to. A lot of them have pre-order or curbside pickup options. I go to the place, park in one of their curbside pickup spots, finish the transaction on the app, and then wait a few minutes for the food to be brought out to me. Has helped a lot both with the talking-to-people issue and the worry that I’ll hit something going through the drive through while trying to multitask driving, ordering and paying.

[@Herk988]

@@kalieris great tip, thanks!

[@ForgetfulHatter]

it can be so hard to get started with something because i get trapped in a loop of being worried i will be called away from it when i finally start it. then when i do get started with it. i'll get called away from it and feel like i need to scream. slam my fists down, and explode. even after announcing. "i am working on something." i just wanna enjoy my tunnel vision and Inertia..... ;w;

[@michaelureadi2884]

Fantastic video!..One which definitely resonates with me also...I've just, recently been diagnosed (at the age of 58)...and still trying to process the whole 'feelings' and understanding to find a way forward. I love your mug and hoped you enjoyed your Scottish visit. I live several hours north from there, in The Highlands of Scotland. Thank you for your posts. I'm learning so much from them.

[@Malathyne]

i think it might be helpful to look into executive functions & executive dysfunction, in relation to autistic inertia. i don't know if our cousins with adhd experience the effects of it the same way (with the nervous system reactions and etc.), but it's a term that makes it easier to look into for understanding what's going on with this experience. there are a lot of tips out there for handling executive dysfunction, too, that might be able to help people

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing!

[@BliffleSplick]

Before I knew I was autistic I built in transition time chunks. So if I got off of work at 4, I'd spend some time in the area, looking at shops, getting a bite to eat (spanakopita rolls), people watching. Then I'd head onto the transit and just watch the world slowly change over the days on the trip home, and then wander around some nature before going to my actual home. I seem to only remember these coping skills / moments when I'm very stressed, and I need to build them into the mellow days too.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So interesting you were aware of your need for this even before you knew you were autistic! Thanks for sharing.

[@nopenopenope881]

Ive always said i dont have a go button

[@katieweiher]

I have SUCH a problem with this. It makes my life so incredibly hard. However, I’m intrigued by the suggestions you made and can see why my walks and journaling are so helpful. I just need to figure out some other things to do in moments where those are inaccessible or too hard.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for your comment Katie!

[@waynepalumbo8917]

I find that I get motivation at odd hours, like 1am while I'm downstairs on my computer playing and avoiding going to bed. I find myself suddenly wanting to do work in my basement but I can't because it's 1 am and other people in the house are sleeping.

[@Lucyfur2022]

Every night almost 😵‍💫

[@Steffalino]

I do resonate with this, but not as strongly ... I relate to struggling to start/stop/deal with transition, but I get stuck at home (I don't drive, so ... I don't actually know if I would ever get stuck there 😅) ... I feel like it's more in an ADHD way though where I become avoidant and distract myself with other things or just watch youtube videos on repeat? I'm still trying to feel out thr autism side of things for me (no diagnosis), but it just strongly resonates with me overall, even not in every way.

[@ladyamalthea85]

ohhh, this is so me, especially lately. I'm so worn out that it's hard to get anything started. my partner got home at least 10mins ago and is still out in the car, he really struggles getting out of the car.

[@balasavenedintulashabalbeoriwe]

Does anyone else have an issue with sleep? I do not know why this has been a problem for me all my life. My therapist told me it could be related to autistic inertia which is how I found this video. I remember when I was a child, I didn’t like the transition between waking to sleep and I would take hours to go to bed, or even wake up and play in secret. It is also hard for me to wake up with a clock even though I know all I have to do is get up and turn the clock off. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Absolutely! Sleep issues are very common among the autistic community. I have a video over this topic you might find helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fmnYg2V6mtaIZ5Isi=kR76R2KiLRcsAWDE

[@lllCTHULHUlll]

My Achilles heel is sleep. I will delay and delay going to sleep because it causes so much anxiety. And I know I need to go to sleep which makes it worse. Also, I will start spreadsheets and then not be able to convince myself to go to sleep. I feel like I have to get it done before I can allow my brain to stop.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Sounds exhausting! 💔

[@Kristo1992-yq2gi]

This video is so relatable, I think I will binge watch all your others when I have time and when it is appropriate. 😊

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Welcome to the channel! Glad you’re here.

[@nolanogrady6528]

This term is new to me, but I understand what you're saying . And yes, I do agree that as people on the spectrum that it is important for us to give ourselves grace and allow ourselves time to process what is happening around us. I usually do that same things, going for walks in nature, which I enjoy, or journaling, reading, playing my trumpet, or sitting and watching a nice show with my amazing loving cat, Princess.

[@dianathomas2674]

I wish I could like this twice.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Aww thank you!

[@Shackbanshee]

This impacts my life greatly. I'm currently trying to find a career that better fits me...and it's hard and discouraging.

[@Herk988]

I can relate to the difficulty with finding a good fit when it comes to employment. As an RN (retired), I couldn’t seem to fit in with neuro typical coworkers. I seem to do my best when working alone. The trouble with that concept is, clinical nursing is a team oriented career. It wasn’t until I discovered a more autonomous position in an administrative setting (case management) that I was finally able to feel less frustrated in the work place. Is there a possibility of perhaps remote work or an autonomous position in your job field you could pursue? It seems like some of us do our best work when there are fewer distractions.

[@Shackbanshee]

@@Herk988 I'm a wedding manager at the moment, but am looking into remote project management instead. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.

[@Herk988]

@@Shackbanshee I hope you can find remote work then!

[@martinhughes007]

I find it helpful to remember the chocolate that I will be buying at the grocery store - it gets me through the door, as long as I have my ear plugs and favourite shopping bag 😅

[@Jesusismybestie07]

I relate so much to this!

[@thatslexi4173]

Thank you so much for this video! I feel this way and have felt this way a lot in my life. At this point I know that I really do need to get tested for Autism after seeing your video. Thank you for posting and I will let you know how things go once I find out. Thank you for explaining this in a way that makes me know that my normal is not a bad thing.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! Thanks so much for your comment.

[@jelliemish]

Just got diagnosed and your videos are among the most helpful because of how compassionate and loving you talk about these things. Thank you!

[@jjdippel4152]

For me it manifests in a different way. I have issues with "order." I divide the process (for whatever I have to do) in "steps." Step 1, 2, 3, 4... must be done in that order. BUT! Something about Step 3 has a direct effect on Step 1 but I must do step 1 first. When that happens I get "stuck." This can happen from packing a suitcase to to packing for a move or even cleaning my apartment. For me it's the process.

[@butterflynerd0078]

This makes so much sense. I've been really struggling with this lately so thank you for this video

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! ❤

[@Pitway_1.0]

I have trouble with transitioning from place to place, maybe not as much as you having trouble to get out of the car tho. For instance, I have automated the action of getting out of the car. Car stops, me go out. So physically I get out of the car, but mentally I am in a confused state where I kind of still am in that car, but I also know I'm not anymore and there lies the problem for me. I transition to a new place physically but not mentally, leading to a confused, somewhat paralysed and unsettling mental state for a variable amount of time.

[@More_readings]

Лазерный луч и инерция. Самые подходящие метафоры. Благодарю. Румпельштильцхен! 🙂

[@iromishuka]

as someone with ADHD & on the spectrum I struggle the most from inertia when I'm understimulated and low on dopamine. I just get into this half avile - half zombie state, ready to fall asleep every second. This concept is new for me though

[@calm_down_isley]

This makes things make more sense now. Thank you.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome!

[@pariahmouse7794]

I have used fhe phrase "trying to overcome inertia" to explain my feelings of overwhelm/inability to act since I as 12 or so... Mental nausea and the inertia issue, those were always my biggest descriptors when I tried to explain myself...

[@Embarasin]

Ever consider this is our healing ourselves after being forced to be /do things as a kid we didnt want to do but had to “mask” and before it was because We did as we were told rather then learning about hourselves and how we feel/felt.. or had words to express.. and now all pf our sensory associated with that task is so draining or triggering we simply refuse? Jim carey said Depression is Your body saying It no longer wants to play a role.. im no longer this character/avatar you made me be… I wonder if thats A way of our inner spirit or voice telling us .. to “Stop” and think about what The (store) means to you (in my case… Noise, people, Embarrassmenr, not having enough money.. ) and in all that.. i just dont want to.. so im not gonna. It really helpa to motivate when tou give yourseld a positive association.. Ie: i use to had talking to my sons father. When his Phone number and name came up i cringed.. so i changed the ring tone to my sons Song.. and replaced my exs name with my sons.. to remind myself its for my son i engage with his father… and hes the motivation .. Idk .. changed the mindset. What if the grocery store was the only time you got to listen to Your favorite 80s. Music.. so you are excited by the chance to hear “phil collins” lol

[@as_yet_unwritten]

I sat here in total shock after this video, like, f#ck me! That is me. I do that everyday, all day. It’s waking up, in car to drop off kids, back home in garage, getting up from table at meals, stopping work, just, total wtf. 🤯 I just always thought I was lazy even though it confused me so bad bc I hated doing it.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

those WTF moments are so wild right? It's unsettling/freeing to have things put in a different perspective.

[@as_yet_unwritten]

@@MomontheSpectrum I appreciate you and this channel so much. Thank you, truly and deeply.

[@jennj6873]

Wow, your reference to driving to the store and then just sitting in your car stuck really resonated with me! That happens to me regularly and all these years I just thought I was being lazy or difficult. I’m 52 and recently diagnosed with ASD and ADHD after decades of misdiagnosis or just labeled as depressed and anxious. Thank you for making this video.

[@gailhoffmann9498]

Thank you so much for this video, Taylor. I now know why I have a problem getting motivated and dealing with the anxiety before I have to do anything. I always thought it was just extreme laziness . . .

[@laurenpatterson4681]

Everything yes. (Except baths. I hate them!! Lol!! #teamshowerforever)

[@anemiab3746]

I have a name for it. Yay! I got an ono roller and I love it!❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Awesome!! So glad you love it like I do.

[@SuperGingerBickies]

Thank you for this video. This trait/symptom is what I call 'being in a pushmi-pullyu' situation. It's been severe for me (I am AS/ASD/ADHD/cPTSD) for the past year, dealing with my mother's death, etc. We can be so hard on ourselves.

[@mynamenotgiven5717]

Thanks for sharing.

[@josephmartin1540]

Yep. Perfect term made detailed and complete sense instantly. I wish I could always use my hands the way you do when talking [instead of occasionally] - it really helps to make words come out! Is there a method to learn to do that better? Also, You DO come across like a mom and that truly is comforting!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Aw thanks so much joseph

[@BiddyBiddyBiddy]

Totally have to battle with this everyday. Fantastic subject for a video, haven't seen this term before, but I know the experience all too well; sluggish and slow to rise and endlessly restless and not ready for rest when it's time. Oh brain-body machine, if I could get you under control we could rule the Galaxy together as body and soul. But I'll just be in here pushing buttons and pulling levers and hoping for the best in the meantime.

[@gio.aprile]

The car 😭😭😭😭

[@chewyfrecklessqueaky4658]

you forgot to mention/talk about the concept and reality that some asders cannot stop doing something, or maybe that is more telltale of obsessiveness , ocd that overlaps many of us ( btw- i'm 74- just realized my status few months ago- )sis and bro both on spectrum, father who is deceased very poor functioning, but undiagnosable and "slipped thru and under the radar". None of us were ever diagnosedn asders really don't fit in well, so consider yourself fortunate- none in my family were ever diagnosed , and nobody cared, so i don't care now- try bot to dwell on smallish topics , rather go for the big picture and just survive, we asders don,t want to tarnish the reputation. Many people think we peeps on the spectrum treat it as a hall pass for being a jerk- and I see that as well as arrogance.

[@ZeonGenesis]

I haven't been diagnosed yet (waiting for so long, 6 months left now..) and it's just so hard to show myself compassion since I'm stuck in a 'I'm probably an imposter' mode until I get the diagnosis, and I fear I am gonna crash and burn until then.. Sucks big time.

[@kevinreid2720]

Just this week I was describing this need for momentum to make daily life easier and ended up googling the meaning of inertia not knowing autism inertia was a thing yet. At the same time I noticed I find it really calming to give myself extra time when I go places to have time to sit in the car for 5-10 minutes just to transition. Anywho, needless to say this video made SO much sense right now- thank you!!!

[@elinamakela8435]

8 hour workdays are so hard for me because I feel like I spend 4 hours trying to get started and then I spend 4 hours panicking that I have no time left and I need to stop soon. It would be better for me to take my sweet time to get going and then go go go until bedtime. I would get week's work done in 2 days... Thanks for the tips, transitioning to the library (5 min walk) helps me to get my work brain on but the transit to the library... That's a challenge. Next time I feel like I can't get out the door I'll try to get present and stim.

[@danielcaverno3937]

Wow, same. I became a workaholic due to this. It was easier to work 7 days a week 14 hours a day than it was to have the option of free time or whatever else that I used to have in my life. However, expectedly, this did not work out. I did this for 2 entire years. I began only sleeping 4-5 hours a night because it kept the momentum moving. I worked through all major holidays doing Side jobs on new homes that were still vacant. Almost killed myself doing this. My doctors were telling me I was at severe risk of a stroke at 35. I used to smoke but I was incredibly active, obviously, and I ate relatively good food. Between the lack of sleep and the insane amount of physical and mental stress I was under, I believe I would have died. I guess what I'm trying to say was the extreme difficulty in starting the task didn't matter anymore because I was willing to work until bedtime. 2 years went by and then I became aware to absence of meaning in my life and I was living in Complete contrast to my beliefs. All to prove to society that I was a proper functioning adult. Never again. Although I can't say I regret it either. I gained a plethora of insight and wisdom about the world, myself and the motivations of people. Balance is always my new goto. We never reach equilibrium but we aren't supposed to as humans. The ups and downs of life create the self aware person. Had I only had ups the fall would be unexpected and completely out of my hands.

[@danielcaverno3937]

To be warned I do not in anyway think this is a path anybody else should seek. It's only an insight into how out of control a life can be when society doesn't question itself. Thanks you for writing your comment @elinamakela8435