Monday Morning Podcast 5-20-24 | Bill Burr

Bill rambles about comment sections, irrational fears, and making out with a stripper in another country.
----------------------------------
Helix: Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at www.HelixSleep.com/BURR
Indochino: Go to www.Indochino.com today and use code BURR to get 10% off any purchase of $399 or more.
----------------------------------
TOUR DATES ▶ www.billburr.co...
INSTAGRAM ▶ / wilfredburr
APPLE ▶ podcasts.apple...
SPOTIFY ▶ open.spotify.c...
WEBSITE ▶ billburr.com
#billburr #mondaymorningpodcast #comedypodcast

[@testpm-il7qq]

“You brought that mouth back to the United States?!” 🤣🤣🤣

[@ryanr4361]

holy shit that whole letter was gold

[@jjb.6152]

Like Ed helms in the hangover

[@mikebud12]

That whole ending

[@dazingamaine4318]

im imagining elon musk ,jeff bezos or bill gates writing this letter XD

[@Still-Sitting]

I’m a paraplegic. Your fears are not irrational. I’ve got my spirit back after many years, but objectively, it’s a nightmare of a life. Glad to be alive tho…finally. Love ya, Bill. Thanks for all the laughs 🙏♿️

[@ForumArcade]

Hey Bill. I worked at your show this weekend in Winston-Salem. I was helping corral the crowds when the power went out and the venue security made people stand outside in the rain. Circumstances weren't always the best, but thanks for being there. You made a lot of people laugh on a rainy Saturday evening.

[@willtheprodigy3819]

It was a great show. Got a little nervous when he started making fun of the KKK. Venue definitely dropped the ball at the start, though.

[@III-vg4dp]

Hahahaha, Bills response to the Thailand question 😂

[@Me_Me_J]

Living in my car for 4 years,4years ago its when I discovered you,and I havent stop following you online. Im working,taking care my 13 year old son. I accomplished alot this 4years,specially Restoring my relationship with my son. My next Goal,its to go see you,hopefully meet you.

[@PopperEtudeFromHell]

Your next goal should be to learn how to use commas properly.

[@Me_Me_J]

@@PopperEtudeFromHell 🤣

[@Natedawg726]

Thanks for coming to NC Bill the Winston show was awesome! I knew you would kill us for the power going out... that was hilarious 😂😂

[@IllBillGatez]

I find it ridiculous that some fake internet chefs have 5-10x as many followers as ol' freckles. It's a god damn travesty.

[@dgd3388]

I could listen to Billie talk about anything.... other than the analytics of sports. holy.

[@shannonblanchard8195]

lol

[@TinyTim-wp6jn]

JUS CHECKIN IN ON YA

[@sylph4721]

Hey Bill, saw you being real with Bill Maher, it was like Highlander, "there can only be one!"

[@BriJo91]

"Sometimes he's even whiter than I am!" 😅😂😂

[@crs092]

I love how Bill is slowly getting into golf. Xander killing them Schauffele

[@crs092]

to each their own I guess@@101Selfy

[@likearollingstone007]

Yeah he loves it but not totally admitting it lol

[@rossw5576]

If he went full Burr I could imagine him becoming a pretty good golfer. Or at least becoming good friends with Daly.

[@Smoochie71804]

When he read “she gave me” I did not expect to hear “her instagram” 😂😂

[@markmurphy7427]

Bill you need a drink mate …FFS Home advantage rant 😂

[@bringinfunny1]

Everytime Bill said Woooooo, I would automatically think of the song Wynonna's Big Brown Beaver by Primus. Please excuse my broken brain. 😂😂

[@Esperflame]

Just found this channel and I'm a fan of Bill Burr.

[@nighttrain3623]

I'm loving this saga of the homecourt advantage

[@OneEyedJackNLD]

12:10 Bill’s description of ‘Whooo-girls’ 😂

[@bbuford00]

BILL they are the Florida PANTHERS

[@crs092]

he def said Marlins hahaha

[@Trump4prisonxxx]

FLORIDA PANTHERS NOT MARLINS!

[@mikekellykrumenacker3768]

He's trying to block the Panthers from his memory

[@drakefisher9251]

Exactly just because we have our beliefs doesn't mean others have the same beliefs..

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

45:25 we already have self driving cars, they're called, "taxis". 🌈 The more you know ✨✨✨✨🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@TamK79]

Happy Monday Bill!! 💃🪩🕺🏼

[@oldsmobilethompson1658]

Honest, we love you, Billiam.

[@PsychorGames]

Well well well, if it isn't the Monday Morning podcast, wherein Bill Burr will check in on us. I sure hope he talks about the Celtics again!

[@badbadmanly903]

Bill, abolishing the Fed would be a very bad idea. Our economy would collapse with no way back, except to re-establish a new Fed. The economy is global, there needs to be a central structure managing the monetary system. Hard to fully explain in 3-5 sentences what took 40+ years in industry, but I could email it if you’d like.

[@andrewiwm9980]

Tbh, I think the home team has the advantage of having the crowd cheering them on as well as familiarity to the court, I think that’s what home court advantage is all about

[@SclountDraxxer]

The guy who wrote the first letter had Bill Maher-level smugness...and I'm glad Billy B gave him the same treatment.😆

[@WhothePhuckisThisGuy]

They're always saying they have nowhere to put the homeless. I say we take a lesson from George Carlin and start with the 15,500 golf courses in the US.✌

[@milesdorst7120]

25:37-36:53 home-court advantage email

[@drakefisher9251]

Wow did that write in get the crazy little red head goin omg so reminds me of my red head friend omg lol

[@fidenciobecerra5126]

Yes sir I will respect my elders when it comes to football 😂

[@heyhunnies_samanthahere]

NC loves you right back Bill! Come back soon! 💕

[@JayzRoom1942]

Went to the Nashville show Friday the 17th Bill was awesome, my group had a blast Thanks for coming to Nashville, look forward to the next time

[@20ftPythonInHiding]

Great show in Nashville Bill!!

[@virginiavoss1977]

Ass flu fever!!!😂 also this dude has never watched 90 Day fiance... My suggestion is that he does.

[@michaelrichardson6569]

The Nashville, TN show last week was great, Bill! 😀 It was fun seeing you at a live show, and the material was hilarious. Joe Bartnick was pretty funny, too, though I don't think I had ever heard of him before. Hopefully you both had fun in Nashville in and around the show.

[@GenX64]

Hey Bill, totally agree home town advantage is a one time deal based on whatever, if you blow it or go 1-1 the series continues, and what little advantage of starting in your home town was either helpful or your team blew it, easily done at their level.

[@fargotua13]

Upon seeing thumbnail my first thought was; Bill is doing tarot readings, btw me choseing pile 3 (Cinema for Coneheads, so cozy).

[@timw6546]

I have an idea for a podcast or podcast section. Based off ur intro in critiquing the comments jokes

[@timw6546]

Toe.... knee!

[@hauseofraf]

Bill, you forgot to mention that the Panthers have a great goalie. But Bruins made it a great series.

[@kismet8010]

The bartnic push continues

[@ItsANiceDayAlways]

x4 "fucks" from Billy in the 1st minute 😂

[@sheldonpeoples7253]

great job in NC

[@enloemetzloff9079]

Damnit Bill, I have " Pour some Sugar on me " stuck in my head all day, but sung in your voice.

[@Thebadguy0523]

Bill you're a legend‼️

[@ERC641]

Bill Burr is awesome!

[@HenrySmithRUS]

And he’s actually a decent person. He actually still cares about people.

[@LandofTheTree]

Cmon Andrew. U dropping these kind of late bruh 😂

[@sickle1280]

As someone that works for a sports network the pitch count is GODSEND. A game that used to last at times 4 hours now can end in under 2.5 hrs. Yes please. I still think they should make it entirely a timed game by 2 hr 20 minutes - less even since a lot of viewers are tunning out. No real reason for a team to score 20 runs in the first 3 innings then wait for boredom and watch paint dry while the 9th inning finally comes around. but it'll take this the pitch count.

[@MynamesnotLisaitsJudy]

Love ya Billy Beats🥁

[@augustoluna5577]

That guacamole wasn't made of avocados

[@RetroZelda]

lost it during the reaction to the stripper story 46:33

[@pmac5587]

Congrats to the Marlins😂

[@Sonik97]

😂😂 I caught that too. I'm surprised that old man Burr didn't. 😂😂

[@wolfman5]

I was cracking up listening to Bill's take on the Thailand stripper

[@rastabincoolie1]

Nice, a Danemen reference on the thumbnail by Billy Balaclavaboy

[@antgreenhough5821]

Nailed it again, William. ❤

[@BlizzardDaPup777]

Two thousand and twenty foh-wu

[@305Flopez]

2 years in a row 😎

[@stevenharris2846]

Man that hid under the portapoty is now hiding as a member of the blue man group

[@xneapolisx]

08:09 John Daly, that's the golfer you were thinking about.

[@BCaTTenterprises]

Twice at least he forgot who John Daly is

[@BrewYourMeade]

Thanks for coming to Columbus!

[@bobl6139]

Billy boy your sports rant was incredible all the points I rant about at age 59 Stoughton ma see ya in a spat’s bah

[@SamGreen]

21:05 Best ad read ever. HAHA Go Rangers.

[@BanzaiBoyle9336]

Oh thank God!! I need a dose of my freckled friend!!!

[@BostonShovinstuff]

Ol Billy Beer Nuts ! NEVER FORGET , the Florida Panthers were ALL concieved analy

[@blackcrowe318]

Being 24 and still in college was the worst time in Bills life while being 24 and still in college is the best time in Bert Kreischers life.

[@Plplj164]

Tells alot about how bert acts doesn’t it

[@ArJayDM]

The bruins did it again.. ohhh jeeeeezus

[@alanfike]

My favorite variation of the name for Twitter is Xitter (pronounced "shitter").

[@MikesOrganicVideos]

I agree with most of what you opine about current sports, Bill. we both grew up in an era when pitchers throwing complete games was a regular occurrence. Guys like Bob Gibson and Tom Seaver routinely had complete games in double digits almost every season. The Advent of the Modern bullpen, with a set up man and a closer, has limited most pitchers to going six or seven innings at Best. And if a pitcher goes only six innings and gives up three earned runs or less, which is a 4.50 ERA, that’s called a quality start. That was garbage in the 60s to mid 70s.

[@bmuDLuck]

Becoming paralyzed is a very valid fear, let me tell you

[@Ayelord_khory]

We out here

[@triplekillerable]

I graduated at 25 to become software engineer. It was normal. I saw my crush girl becoming asssistant. I switched schools and graduated ASAP. LOL

[@stdnt4eva]

I should also add to that I love you very much bro your comedy has kept me sane for quite a few years now

[@Mewtzie]

Hi Bill, just found out about your podcast and absolutely love it, especially what you have to say about privacy, technology and those cunts the bankers. Really hope I can see one of your shows irl at some point as im from the UK lol. Keep up the good work bill, cant shake the voice of Frank when I hear you get mad in these podcasts 😂❤ Anyways Elon is okay for speaking his mind, but I have to be honest his mind must be made of shit lol the dude cannot even run his company with Tesla being indicted for wire fraud, securities fraud and something else related to their full self driving kill machine that as far as i know has killed over 100 people who stupidly put all their trust into this tech, guess thats what people get when they give control of their 3000lb hunk of metal to a stupid computer with sensors that are literally on the back of iphone pros for eyes. 😂😂😂

[@tommy_noble]

Hats off to the Florida Marlins

[@Trump4prisonxxx]

FLORIDA PANTHERS NOT MARLINS!

[@QuanahParker17]

To the Panthers, not the Marlins. The Marlins stink like shit! 😂

[@tommy_noble]

You guys realize I'm quoting Bill in the beginning?

[@Trump4prisonxxx]

@@tommy_noble no sir.

[@jamesthomas8481]

Wish I would see you in sanfrancisco. I forget but do you have an email I could leave a short question on?

[@snoookie456]

I love how angry he gets halfway through at the obviously a sports bets guy rambling about advantage and "essentially". It's not even arguments, it's gamblers convincing themselves it's not gambling by throwing numbers and percentages at you, cause those are the stats they bet on. Brings me back to high school when all these smartasses in class would blow their lunch money on half baked theories.

[@donsolos]

48:55 lmaooooooooooooooo

[@brandonm5400]

If you're top seed you don't have to win a road game at all for entire playoffs

[@sleepinthemorningcalm]

28:50 🔥🔥🔥

[@Sonik97]

Florida Marlins? Lol

[@songster7]

I wish I had caught you when you were in Nashville but I went to the Kennedy thing a couple of days earlier and somehow Russell Brand and Jim Breuer and Rob Schneider out last year

[@bladecarroll9615]

You mean Shania Twain sir?! 😂😂

[@BlizzardDaPup777]

Ol Billy red balls!

[@Sebaz1835]

Why are the teams that have a better record get rewarded with home court? Statisticsly home teams win more games. It pumps up players playing at home.

[@IH8AI]

Jesus this stole home court argument is getting tiresome

[@bladi132]

Howyadoin Bilbo

[@daddysteveoh6213]

DONT DENY THEIR LOVE BILLY! *watches his life fall apart*

[@lanceprzybyla7662]

#32.... WOOHOO 🙌🎉

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

45:55 the workers "run shit", the executives cut costs, nothing more.

[@nes199]

let me give you my take on home court in the playoffs you see the thing is i don't understand anything

[@StrykezMan09]

34:20

[@alanfike]

Who cares how long it takes someone to graduate college as long as there's a good reason? College is damned expensive. Some of us went to community college at least the first few years to mitigate the cost.

[@christopherallen9580]

The answer came from the great beyond 51 years and nothing won.

[@WP_3rd]

Ol Billy Red Ass is a real one today, couldn't agree with yaz more there Beel!!

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

44:30 Going back to the gold standard, still leaves the majority poor, and the rich owning everything. Sooooo.......a non solution.

[@albertocutcha5238]

Bro bro, keep going on the IFR, get some high tech night vision, and bust that auto rotation, I've helped train at least a hundred pilots, with a 50 Cal hanging out the door, HOO-YAH, HSL- 46 Grandmasters, Jax, Fl

[@junyank1846]

Hey, it's ole Billy 55 minutes here

[@nes199]

0:50 *Panthers

[@briandoornink7597]

I don't really know anything about it, but just hearing the term "home court advantage" and it being "stolen" makes no sense to me. It's a game. one team wins the other loses, that's it. And I don't care to hear anyone's explanation.

[@gorankrznar89]

You should see a Slavic wedding m8