MONTESSORI Daycare vs. At Home (for Under 3 Years Old) // + a mini update!

[@kmh0394]

I used to think being a stay-at-home mom was the best you could offer your child. Then I had my own...and she went to a Montessori school at 8 months and holy cow, I wouldn't have had it any other way. The changes I saw in my child were amazing, her personality blossomed, and she became so much more secure. We became happier parents because it kept us from hovering over her which was the key to her independence growing. Also, she picked up on skills at school in a few days that were taking literal months at home, such as sitting at her weaning table, washing her hands, and a toilet education. She has friends, learned conflict resolution, and I can see that it's where she belongs. I laugh looking back at all the pressure we put on ourselves to constantly keep her at home because we were always told that was best. But for our second child I will look forward to their first day at school! It's what worked best for my family and we're lucky to have done it.

[@ashleyw7718]

It makes me wonder about our children as adults though. Studies on Montessori children show a HUGE lack of teamwork and the inability to receive constructive criticism. That’s what worries me. They become independent but don’t play well with others

[@ashleyw7718]

(Statistically speaking, that is)

[@sheila33699]

I think when it comes down to it seems like it depends on the kid and how they are developing as I think some benefit more than others it probably can work either way but more so one or the other depending on the situation/child!

[@2012nursetobe]

Ashley, kudos. This is such a fair and balanced take on what feels like such a loaded topic. As an additional note, one of the factors I don't hear addressed very often is the sustainability of Montessori home schooling. With the number of materials that a Montessori education requires, I think there is the potential to create a lot of waste if parents aren't very diligent about how they source materials and what they do with them when their child has outgrown them. Not necessarily the primary factor in making a decision, but something I think should be considered.

[@cariiinen]

Love your insights and how nuanced you are. There are indeed many good ways to raise children. :) Although kids don't properly play with other children until 3 years, I've found that my 7 months old is absolutely fascinated and delighted by other babies and children. He goes to daycare part-time and loves it, and I'm really glad as it takes pressure off having to organise as many socialising opportunities outside the house.

[@haniyyahahmadbonvini1980]

No apologies ever needed on the personal and professional front! Life ebbs and flows with spontaneous escalations and deescalations. Thank you for the updates and video content whenever you do post them! ❤️ Love this video! I couldn’t agree more with every aspect of the decision making process! Personally, putting my career on pause for 3 years (almost 4) to raise Nuri in a Montessori home has been an invaluable experience for the entire family, and the fruits of that labor are evident after they turn 3yo. Granted, homeschooling was unexpected from 3-4 and it’s becoming a challenge at 3.5yo bc I can only provide so much as an unofficial educator! 😅 The insatiable curiosity, thirst for knowledge, and desire to socialize is incredible. Seeing these signs make the path forward, clear- she’s ready for school (which we’re able to send her at 4yo), I’m at peace with providing what I could and what I can, and I’m ready to get back to work! All this to say to parents, follow your child, see the signs, deep down you know the right decision for yourself, child, and family. Whether it’s staying at home or working while providing appropriate/reputable daycare options, as long as the home front is a secure, loving, respectful place for the child, can’t go wrong!

[@MariaandMontessori]

Absolutely the same! But a year earlier 😅 the thirst.for knowledge is far greater than what we can provide in our personal home. It has been an amazing journey but she is SO ready for that next step

[@haniyyahahmadbonvini1980]

@@MariaandMontessori I’m right there with you sista! Nuri is ready for the next step and it’s definitely more than we can provide at home 🥴 I can totally see Stella antsy at this age and craving more lol. Cheers to our girls’ next awesome stage of development! 🙌🏼

[@ivanalescesen7906]

Can you make a video about birthday presents for 6 and 4 year olds. Thanks

[@lilikoijuci]

Home is always the best place for our children (if it's a healthy home.) Isn't it better for your child to be somewhere where they're LOVED all day?

[@chantalyt]

There is a ton of research in the US that finds daycare is harmful for babies and toddlers emotionally, cognitively, behaviorally and physically. Children are neglected and even abused in some daycare facilities. At best they will be overstimulated in an environment that isn't designed to meet their individual needs. Attachment issues develop when caregivers are frequently changed without notice and children have no consistent adult that they are familiar with. There are many reasons why having children under 3 home, in the US, is far more beneficial than daycare.

[@MariaandMontessori]

The environment in both the home and day care is so important to consider-spot on! Totally agree it doesn't need to be a whole Montessori class in the home BUT we do need to guide them on their learning journey. It could be as simple as spending time outside, cooking together, reading, etc or as complex as the DIYs and lessons...but end of the day, there is work to be put it on the part of the at home caregiver as well. And that's something that shouldn't be overlooked when making the decision. Especially that final year! I unintentionally ended up staying at home for the first 3 years but it's very clear now at the 2.5 year mark, if we had the chance to, it would be time for her to go to the Montessori school 😅 She's asking to be around kids (which we do in other ways but it's not as consistent), and she's craving a level of difficulty in her learning that is truly becoming a full time job to keep up with. Especially since I'm trying to not bring in more materials that she will see in the class in a few months 🥴

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Oh my gosh this time right now has been so hard for me to face in terms of preparing work that is going to satisfy her needs developmentally especially the numeracy and literacy aspects whilst the global Knowle and practicallife skills and lots of open play has been better since the baby was a couple weeks old. It has gotten me wishing we had a Montessori school here but im thinking long term how i will gradually work towards the home education set up before i start the redwoods course in autumn in sha Allah. Im so for home ed even if i found a good Montessori school i would only do it part time if the option was available just for the first few years because of the relationship development and identity issues currently based on what i have learnt about this age in attachment theory. The freedom it gives to home ed is something i feel greatful for right now too hahaha. Its just my own expectations in meeting her needs that is what i am having difficulty eith whilst she is enjoying it just fine hahhaha😅

[@triciazhai8480]

I sent my son to a daycare center at 18m. He was potty trained. When we go pick my son up, he was always requesting water and the caregiver had no response. Then my son stopped telling me when he needed to pee. Then I found that someone taught him to first touch his butt then urethra and he had a very bad UTI. I was shocked and thought it was just bad luck to have chosen such a daycare. There are dozens of daycares in the neighborhood and all have good reviews. I tried a family type daycare when my son turned 21m, in 2 months they taught he to say “pee, kike, pee” (my son is half Jewish) and my son just run to the street when we arrive at their door in the morning. My calm child had learned a lot of problematic behaviors. Luckily they all disappeared 2-3 weeks after he stopped going to the daycare. No, don’t send your toddlers to daycares before they turn 3 and can tell you what happens there. According to the book “the irreducible needs of children”, 90% of the quality of daycares for children under 3 is inadequate. Unless you can find an authentic Montessori daycare with real-time camera, keep your child at home.

[@corilarge9267]

Thank you for the update on your family. Glad to hear the girls are enjoying school. I learned so much from you as a Montessori Mom when my son was born (3 in June!!!) and the girls were fantastic ambassadors to Montessori.

[@doravalencia2214]

Definitely looking into real montessori schools is important. A few around me like the label but they really don't do montessori. I send my little to a "regular" daycare and she's definitely thriving. But they follow positive discipline practices and I love them for it. Everyone is so happy to see everyone, my child says she's going to see her friends every morning. Looking into different care options simply because my daughter thrives better in smaller groups, Looking closely into a Waldorf school. However no size fits all when it comes to parenting we all do our best

[@mzudsiri]

Thank you for the life updates! Thank you for helping to relieve some mom guilt. We’re in NYC and montessori options are just cost prohibitive for us. We found a nice daycare near us part time and it gives me the mental space to properly prepare a montessori environment when she is home with me. We’ll see how it works and you’re right the worst thing is we decide to keep her home longer. ❤🎉

[@katrienvdk]

I’m in NYC too! And even the $$$ “Montessori” places aren’t certified… only like 3 actually are -__-

[@Sara-on3th]

We’re currently doing a mix of reduced/consolidated work hrs for mom/dad and grandparents to supplement for our 5mo. I work 3 10s and hubs works 4 10s with alternating days off so we only have to find extra care 2 days a week. Trying to keep our baby out of daycare for a least a year. We live in an expensive region so it’s really challenging to make ends meet without working!

[@sissikhalessi]

Great that you protect their privacy❤️

[@butterflyrose4518]

I miss and love your videos! Thank you for all the information!

[@KristinKreates]

Happy early birthday to your girls! You're such a motivated person and I hope everything is going well for you!

[@toriwiebe8085]

I always hit "like" before I even watch 🤣 your videos are always so helpful!

[@lynnkrus]

Cute haircut! I just moved from AZ to Englewood, CO! Have you been to ARC Thrift or Just Between Friends? Great finds for Montessori on a budget. I just started back at work otherwise I wanted to pursue the Montessori diploma too. What a great program to be in while in CO! Thanks for the update! Happy early birthday to Kylie and Mia!

[@ashleedekker5868]

Hi Ashley! I love your videos and channel! I think I've watched almost all of your videos lol. I'm always so excited when you post another video. I know that you're super busy, if you can, it would be so great to make more shopping videos for ideas of things to buy and I would love a video on Montessori homeschooling curriculum that you would approve of. There's so much out there it's hard to make sure something in truly Montessori. Thanks again for all of your videos! I'm so glad that you're family is doing well!! ❤️

[@blessedwhitney]

We sent our kiddo to a Montessori"ish" school and it's been great. They used to only have accredited Montessori teachers, but just couldn't find enough as some of their older teachers retired. Now, the head teacher in each room is accredited and the assisting teacher is not. They still have classes with mixed age, they still prepare the environment, they still try to "follow the child". The accredited teachers teach what they have learned to the non-accredited teachers (who are typically in school for accreditation or are planning on it). Most importantly, the head of the school didn't hide this fact. It ended up being "more" Montessori than I (personally) could have provided at home, thought not "as" Montessori as a school with full accreditation. It also lowered the price, which falls somewhere between the traditional daycares and the full Montessori schools in the area. I guess all to say is that even if you want a Montessori school, don't be afraid to visit the Montessori "ish" schools, especially during this childcare provider crisis.

[@sofiagebilaguin8170]

Happy birthday Kylie and Mia! I miss seeing the girls here thanks for the update. I miss specially Mia, she’s 1 month older than my son. And I have been a fan since day 1. My son was accepted to Reggio Emilia approach school starting this fall, which has some similarities to Montessori approach. He’s been so excited ❤

[@stephanielim7967]

This post came at a right time. We're in a similar situation. We have been looking for Montessori daycares/preschools in our area since my daughter was 1. Thanks, Ashley, your old video on what to look for in a Montessori school. What really helped me was your suggestion to look at schools that are certified or search on organization websites like American Montessori Society or AMI-USA. I've narrowed it down to 2 schools in my area and now that my daughter is 18-months old, we can finally schedule a tour. I will definitely keep in mind all the elements you mentioned. I am also curious as to how the daycare/school "disciplines", resolves conflict, or addresses "misbehavior". I know a lot of Montessori families and schools align with positive parenting, RIE, etc. Any tips on how I can respectfully ask this during the tour?

[@sueyates3555]

Happy early Birthday Girl's. I sure hope you enjoy your day.

[@dinakamel9423]

Thank you for this video. Can you do a video about the criteria for an authentic Montessori school and what questions should we be asking on a tour and what things to watch for/out for? Thank you in advance ❤

[@ayeshajamil6023]

Hello sister looking so gorgeous your hair style 😍

[@povlily6349]

Thank you Ashley ❤

[@morgankardos9425]

Research shows that extensive time spent in daycare is not advantageous for young children, and can in fact be damaging on a long-term socioemotional level, prior to around three years old. If the guardian is able to provide a supportive and nurturing environment at home and is in a position to take time away from work, this is typically the best option.

[@annkatrinstenzel1984]

How would you approach toilet learning, if it is not a Montessori school? I just don't like the idea of my child being in diapers all morning but in the afternoon, he can experience wet and dry pants. It must be very confusing :/ (no Montessori daycare in a 2h radius while no "regular" daycare is willing to take off the diapers and change wet clothes all morning) He will start daycare at 20 months, so we will very likely be right in the middle of the learning process but not yet "finished"...

[@florenciamaldonado3446]

Do you have recommendations for mix traditional schools with Montessori education at home?? Because here in Argentina are only 6 Montessori schools all over the country (in my state there is only one Montessori school) and they are really expensive even with two parents working. Thanks you for all your content and send you my love from Mendoza Argentina 🇦🇷

[@luisaelena2890]

Any suggestions on where to find moveable alphabet in cursive in Spanish?

[@MariaandMontessori]

4 and 6 🥹 Happy early birthday to the girls 😭

[@MsShohamr1]

Thank you, I love your videos! I remember not so long ago you had a video collaborating with a bicycle company that has a real nice family bike - I can seem to find that video, may I please ask you to share that link? Appreciate it :)

[@AA-so1xs]

Hi, what advice do you have for parents who cannot afford a Montessori school

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

I wish I could like this comment one thousand times. this is such a valid and important thing to discuss.

[@yolandabarreto-ur9wv]

If your child is going to a traditional day care, would it be ok to start teaching your child to read at home with the montessori method if they are showing interest ? the school only starts teaching letters and reading closer to 6

[@catielalonde1964]

Yes, why not? Good luck 💛

[@ChristyMoneyMaker]

Hello 🌼 thanks for your insight! Our family chose to do a lovely daycare once a week for my 2 yr old. Mama gets a day for appointments/ stress free cleaning / down time! It's been a real relief for me and loads of fun and learning for him!

[@anutsa-w2]

I wish I had seen this video when I was choosing a preschool for my daughter. Unfortunately I got caught on the environment and kind of ignored other red flags aka no certification, not willing to show the real life of the kindergarten. It appeared they had more “cry it out” approach to everything. Kids were those who had to adjust not the teachers. And the head of the kindi didn’t bother to hear my arguments. All she was saying was “I’ve been working with children for 40 years, I’ve seen mothers like you. If you don’t like it you can leave.” As a result we’ve lost 500€ and a lot of nerve cells. Oh, and Maria Rod (AMI) told at her course that there was a research in 20th cent. If I’m not mistaken it was in Check Republic. The results were that kids who stayed at home up until 3yo performed better, than those who were sent to childcare. I know it’s not an option for many but when there is a choice I would seriously question sending kids off. The first thing they need is a healthy relationship with their main caregivers.

[@mariajosegimenezduarte9924]

I know this wasn't your experience, but I'd love to know if you have any tips for parents who want to do Montessori but aren't stay-at-home parents. Thank you!

[@LYPerezToral]

How do you have birthday parties so that my child doesn't get the presents that I don't want since I'm looking for more of the Montessori toys.😢

[@AmandaJanayFrank]

Love your hair cut!

[@vickyazabal3038]

I thought that you already were a Montessori guide? Or an assistant? Great video 🫶

[@crystalpenner1475]

My daughter is turning 4 on Saturday. She is still attending daycare, but unfortunately a montessori daycare/preschool is out of our budget. How do you handle that, being as montessori as you can while at home when they spend a lot of time at daycare? Along with my 1yo. There definitely are things about my daycare I wish they'd do differently, like validating emotions, the activities and less battery operated toys, child led experiences.. I just want the best for my kids but this daycare is the best for our budget right now. Later we will be looking into preschool or kindergarten for her. I feel like as much as I want to I struggle with giving her and my 1yo an authenic montessori experience or close to, due to lack of time and experience.

[@lilikoijuci]

Have them home with you and you can be their teacher. No one in a daycare can care for them more than you can.

[@lilikoijuci]

@@tracygarcia4078 very well put. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

[@jillianparker5972]

There is a montessori school at the top of my road... $11,000 per year per kid. I have 4 kids - impossible.

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

I really wish the exorbitant cost was something more explicitly discussed.

[@rosalindreloj7928]

Oh my gosh! Your teeth!!! Did you do something different? Your smile is always lovely, but it especially bright in this video!!!!

[@AmandaJanayFrank]

Not to be weird, but I remember she was doing Invisalign 😅

[@jessies16]

Jessie Smith

[@JG-cq6ud]

💛💛💛💛💛

[@Jo-vu1me]

6 min in and still not to the topic 🤦🏻‍♀️