Rebuilding your life as a Mormon Widow: Janae Thompson (@TheKingofRandom CoFounder) Pt. 2 | Ep 1756

[@Seruhruhruhrah]

I grew up with Janae. I haven't seen her since high school - I always knew she was smart, but I had no idea just how damn smart. I'm blown away. She is so extremely wise and well spoken. I'm very impressed and really respect her for sharing her story.

[@jacoblewis2961]

She's really attractive too. She won't have any issues finding anyone who wants to marry her, if that's what she wants...

[@janegriffith8021]

I related to this story! My first husband, who I am sealed to, died when he was 25 and I was 23. Trying to date an LDS man after that was a nightmare because I was “used goods” and couldn’t be sealed to anyone else. I have been married (but not sealed, of course!) to my present, active, kind, and loving LDS husband, for nearly 41 years. We have three children together who are “sealed” to my first husband-a man they’ve never met. The whole thing is so messed up and I’m glad I have finally been able to leave it all behind. I removed my name from the records of the LDS Church several years ago and finally feel content and free.

[@Bundydream]

What does it mean to be sealed?

[@juliehomer]

Iiiiiiii

[@juliehomer]

😂😂

[@terryramsey1484]

Yeah that’s soooo messed up

[@RaulRaulitoR]

​@@Bundydream I've never been LDS but I think it means you're going to be together in heaven.

[@Ralph-cc9xy]

I had to laugh when Janae said "I fall asleep to the sound of John's voice and not in a creepy way" because I also often fall asleep to the sound of John's voice. Not only is his voice soothing but the expert way he guides his guests with his questions and comments. I also love it when Margi is co-hosting because she also has the ability to asked thoughtful questions that IMO make these podcasts so interesting. I have learned a lot from these two .... so thanks for that Margi and John!

[@azraelabaddon9415]

Same it's a very soothing voice and comfortable to Fall asleep to

[@rmengelken]

I fell asleep to one last night and woke up to another one this morning. I missed a lot in between - except sleep. 😂

[@jillvandervort7162]

I became a widow at 39. Lost my dear husband 12 years ago to Cancer. I relate to this dear woman’s story on every level. Being a widowed mom, losing my faith, etc. Thank you for your strength!

[@GC2024_]

Amen

[@GC2024_]

@@RAF71chingachgook, Are you nuts?! Just surviving the first yr after losing her husband not only tending to her needs, planning a damn funeral, and the needs of 4 small children, this woman does have strength; you totally make me nauseous to even say what you said!!

[@GC2024_]

Jill im sorry for your loss💔💔

[@GC2024_]

@@RAF71chingachgook, Sorry, im still laughing at your STUPIDITY and judgment of people who you don't even know!! My bad behavior 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Signed by women who Buried a husband, oh, and a child!!!

[@SusanaPereztv]

@@RAF71chingachgook wow. Just wow. You have no compassion whatsoever. If you’re this harsh with a stranger, I wonder how you are towards yourself. Probably much worse. So sad.

[@hc6157]

Not a mormon, but getting obsessed with this podcast and how you guys really honor womens’ stories in extraordinary circumstances. I love all your guests, but as a women, the women on the podcast truly awe me. It’s the same level of self-introspection I aspire to point at my own life.

[@CarolB55]

I so agree! These women are amazing.

[@teresawarner4117]

My personal belief on temple sealing is its a way to keep money flowing in to the church. They convince people to join the church and their families are forever but to do that you have to be sealed and to be sealed you have to pay your tithing

[@LATLSpeaks]

I loved the absolute honesty in this interview! She voiced so many things that Mormons are afraid to say aloud. Thanks to Janae for being brave enough to discuss her marriage in totality--the good and the bad.

[@lebethany53]

This is probably my favorite interview so far. I was married and divorced by 21 years old, and I had absolutely no life skills or preparation to deal with the throes of an abusive marriage. When I did divorce, I did exactly what was asked of me and stayed celibate, even though it severely affected my mental health. it wasn’t until close to 15 years later, that I allowed myself freedom of sexual expression. I sacrificed so much for the church, for absolutely nothing in return. Sharing my journey out of the church can sometimes be confusing to others, because it was never founded on church history, or the CES letter, or any of those common reasons for exiting. Even as a child, I would express to my parents that the church was too controlling. I remember asking my mom when I was 15 why I wasn’t allowed to be the boss of myself, why did they and the bishop and the prophet and God have to be the ruler over me and my body? I have never had an issue with authority, but I definitely have an issue with authoritarians. I hate when someone says do this because I said so. I have always been hyper sensitive to others that try to control me or manipulate me. I am, like Janae, genuinely happier than I knew was humanly possible, since leaving the church and allowing myself to be the authority in my life. Completely liberating, and almost indescribable. Anyway, this podcast was so validating and hugged my heart in so many ways. Thank you!

[@brandydinsmore8214]

My husband just reminded me of a story in the Bible where Jesus was asked if a womans husband dies and she married his brother and he dies and so on til the last brother died, who would she be with in heaven. Jesus just answered “you don’t understand, there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage” in heaven. (Matthew 22:23-33). I actually didnt know that quote until i was telling my husband about this talk. I guess being Episcopalian, i have always thought we are individual souls in heaven and can spend “time” with who we wish. Who we have the closest bonds with whether related or not would make sense. As an agency social worker for 25 years, i am pretty sure some children would feel like heaven would be hell if certain family members were bound together for eternity.

[@katphyre]

Yes! What if there was a lot of abuse and the family is running away from the husband? And then mom (or dad) is supposed to jump through the church's hoops and notify the abusive parent that they have requested a cancelation? It's serves no purpose to be sealed. Only Mormons think that God would split up families and say you have to earn the right to be with them in the first place. The rest of christendom thinks you'll be with whoever you want to be with after you die, no ridiculous rituals needed.

[@annedodgson8677]

Temples seal more people away from each other than together…such betrayals…works out in the end … ya…Temples are squirrels n a cage…busy work… Matt 22…

[@annedodgson8677]

Kids go with the priesthood holder…THAT is why my daughter broke her shelf after his 3 bishop’s courts, (no discipline) drugs, finance and tax irresponsible…the kids forced the divorce and now my daughter believes she is out in the cold…she was a creative home maker with talents most can only dream of…beautiful and talented…one child born with a handicap… but a priesthood holder got away with it all…but died of cancer young…she now has a great husband and has beat severe alcoholism…but struggles having lost the Mormon Cinderella dream…she showed me a printout given her by her bishop …the 5 children appear under the priesthood holders # membership number

[@mienafriggstad3360]

I completely agree with you

[@helgardhossain9038]

I cannot believe this "sealing" rubbish. It reminds me so strongly of my dad's constant quotes, "marriages are made in heaven". Yes, and he should have been faithful to my mum here with his physical body. My Lord Jesus Christ didn't invent/talk about this sealing-subject. It's DEFINITELY an issue invented by a MAN. We are all individual souls on the other side. We can talk to/be with whomever we want to on the other side. Nobody needs to take care of the physical needs of another soul, because we don't have a body !

[@Mari-go5hc]

My son was diagnosed hyper active. My doctor said one cup of coffee in the morning with a little bit of creamer, just try it. I thought he was crazy but I also did not want my son on medication. He would drink his cup of coffee and I could literally watch his nerves settle into a calm normal acting boy. It was a miracle! From there he would get ready for school and a great day ahead! Loved that Dr.!

[@codename495]

OR you could’ve shoved the stigma of “ medication “ and gotten your kid the help they needed. Coffee is a stimulant. ADHD meds are stimulants. You medicated your kid just in a way that made you feel like you didn’t. Parents like this drive me insane. I suffered abuse, self hatred and failures at academics and social situations because my idiot parents didn’t want to “ drug” me. My life before meds sucked. I was convinced I was lazy, stupid and unworthy of having friends. I got meds and suddenly I could think, function and be happy.

[@TheCloggingcrazy]

@@codename495 this is exactly why my mindset changed in medicating my boy. I finally realized that I might be doing him a huge disservice by listening to a stigma. In the last couple of months of medicating him, we have seen so much growth like the original comment says. We chose to start with non-stimulants and finally found the one that seems to work well for him. It just takes the edge off so he can actually sit still and focus. No shame to this mom who originally commented. I applaud her for going against the “grain” and church to find something that works for her child. I completely understand why people don’t want to be dependent on meds if they can find a more natural source. Especially if it works well for them in the end.

[@JustMe-px9qy]

@@codename495- I’m sorry this happened to you. Parents do the best they can with what they know. They may make the wrong decisions for their kids but most bad decisions are made out of lack of knowledge.

[@rtdmna]

​@@TheCloggingcrazyis there a natural product that I could try, I don't know of any, if you do, could you enlighten me please, thank you.

[@ryangarrard3135]

Janae you are inspiring. My father died when i was 11 in 2007, and my mother died on 20q8 never remarrying and fell into self delusional tragically. Your story strikes close to home, thanks for sharing and live your best life. It is very relatable to hear about your journey, and i hope to live my best life from learning from others and about myself. Keep it up!

[@helenbairmapc6633]

I relate to Janae in so many ways. I also have gone to sleep to John's voice for years. It has brought me comfort because he creates a safe space to be supported in my post-Mormon beliefs, but also in being respectful to the church I love that no longer works for me. I also was a single mom with kids facing the sex, temple sealing and other issues Janae talked about. It is no easy territory for a faithful Mormon woman to navigate. You have my respect Janae. I have also found relief and a much more meaningful life after leaving my orthodox Mormon beliefs. Some of the nicest, most honest and genuine people I have ever known have never been a member of the LDS church. I never thought that was possible before. I wish I would have figured it out years before I did. Life is much happier for me outside of the church.

[@Mon-Alisa]

25:58 This policy bothered me a lot as a believer (and still bothers me)- how widowers have it so easy in the church when it comes to dating and remarrying, but widows are put in this unfair position where they have to choose one over the other. So wrong on so many levels.

[@lanimchenry2198]

Cheers to surviving hard knocks of life and coming out on the other side knowing yourself and feeling empowered and free ❤ I am now 55, left the church in my twenties, dealt with complex issues with marriage, divorce, raising kids on my own, etc. I relate to your story on a deep level. I’m so proud of you and am in awe of how well you articulated your feelings and navigated through your experience. So much love to you and your family 🙌🏻🥰🌹

[@yolavilla6058]

I relate so much to this. Raised in a super strict Catholic home and being free from organized religion now, feels so free and even more connected to God than while I was in it. Thank you for this pod cast. And, to end with that AMEN was so good!!!❤

[@deannapowell7237]

In Ethiopia, where the coffee bean was first discovered, the Etiopians do a coffee ceremony every time they serve coffee to each other. It's an experience. It's so true.....what God would take that away from his beloved? ❤☕️

[@patricianoel7782]

Hello, fellow Ethiopian traveler. I was there teaching at the embassy school for 3 years. Coffee and popcorn! 🎉✝️👍❤️😉

[@Bry_bryyy04]

There’s something about hearing John say “I’m with you in hell Margi” that has me laughing so much.

[@patricianoel7782]

Exactly!!

[@shellyb5014]

Me too. Margi was trying to give him up. He’s like nuh uh

[@BrigitteDiessl]

After 16 years of being a widow, I still dream from time to time about my husband coming back and being so angry that he got out of a helping bring up my children, helping them through me having cancer twice, my daughter's anorexia, my son's autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, auditory processing disorder and other mental health issues. There is so much (unintentionally) repressed emotion as the result of a sudden death despite therapy. It really sucks. And I am not Mormon (or any other religion) and I've never really had the energy to even think about another partner. I am 53.

[@WhispersFromTheDark]

I just had to reach out and give you a hug! (((((hugs))))) Ok, maybe more than 1 hug 🙂.....but you deserve it. Bless your heart! I hope you're doing ok today. Someone cares...you are not alone.

[@BrigitteDiessl]

@@WhispersFromTheDark thank you

[@WhispersFromTheDark]

@@BrigitteDiessl you're very welcome hun.

[@rebeccacall7348]

This explains so much. My mother is a Mormon widow, and has been for the last six years. My father had some good qualities, but being a loving husband and father was not one of them. In fact, he was abusive. I figured my mother didn't want to date again because her self esteem had been eroded to a point she didn't think she deserved better, and while that could still be a factor, I now see she doesn't want to lose her children, who mean everything to her, solely to my father in the next life. Even when my father was alive, she was the one that took the brunt of his abuse just to keep the family together, and if Mormon doctrine was true, she would continue living with that pain for eternity. 💔

[@brittanymanning3424]

Loved hearing her mormon story. Beautiful person inside out. Also, for the millionth time, I love Margi as co-host!

[@caseyjude5472]

Me too!

[@sandiekaye5241]

She is just wonderful. Interested , perceptive, thoughtful, and kind Always kind. I just love her.

[@johnlavrusky9380]

This is something that I never thought of 😮

[@happeningheidi]

Just want to say thank you to you all , especially the guest! This episode is now one of my all-time favorites since I started listening several years ago when I was leaving the church after being a convert for 39 years. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ☺️👏🏻💕

[@autumnrain1892]

My mom died, 3 times, and came back. She's not religious. She said it was the most beautiful place she has ever seen. She saw her best friend that died a couple years previous(unalived himself). Had a conversation with him and then woke up. Repeated it 3 times. She was not happy to be earth side (she was hit by a drunk driver, pre-seat belts leading to a shattered skull, broken legs, back, full body cast). Can't really blame her for not appreciating being brought back. 😅 So... If anyone is worried about not seeing their family/friends. Don't. If you are worried about walking away from the church. Don't. Live a good life. Be kind. It's the only thing that matters. ❤

[@Mur3930]

Thank you, this is helpful

[@julieprince5538]

Janae is one of the most grounded, self aware people I have listened to. Thank you Janae for sharing your story! Much Love and compassion for All ♥️ Thank you for introducing me to Grant and your channel I love Mormon Stories

[@sandiekaye5241]

Absolutely one of my favorite guest. Thank you Janae, John, and Margi

[@annajones1396]

My suggestion, as a former Mormon widow, is to just find a very good man. The Mormon games will just mess with your head. I tried for years to find an LDS man, but it didn't work. I am now alone as an older woman. If I could go back, I would just try to find a good man. The most cruel thing I was told was that my eternal companion would greet me with his first wife. Unbelievably cruel. So just forget their games and live your best life.

[@anitah2404]

I wish I had thought of this 20 years ago.

[@marionbartley214]

I can't believe someone actually told you, that in eternity. You would be given a husband and greeted with his wife!! That is such a load of crap. To tell another single woman, as if it's okay that you didn't find someone in this life. Don't worry heavenly Father will give you a companion, along with his former wife really. Like I said that's a load of crap. I'm so sorry other people said this to you. I'm sure your heart felt really sad, mine would have, I agree with you carry on and find a good man. One in this life that's going to be loving and giving and caring.

[@annajones1396]

@@marionbartley214 yeah, the doctrines of the church and widowed women are just cruel

[@anitah2404]

@@deebee2603 I deeply regret buying into the false hope of waiting for blessings to come in the next life. This life matters and the message the church gives to women is really sad.

[@dixie1766-d5e]

Mormons call themselves Christians when they’re not!! In the bible it says you can remarry if your husband or wife dies and they don’t marry in heaven as we will be like Angels. Marry whoever you want, may God bless you and give you best husband ever!! ❤

[@maryboucher6860]

Why is the policy so important.Your life is so precious with your children.The church has so many rules ..You are a beautiful sister and your story is so touching..

[@ronfloyd2672]

I have experience with a cancellation and it really becomes very messy. The final word is "trust that God will work it out", which causes one to think about what is the importance of toeing the line when there are so many unknowns.

[@victoriachristian4379]

I love Janae’s quote, “That’s a lot to balance, but it’s also really important for balance”.

[@capo5005]

The most interesting thing I think that was said in part 1 that leads into these awakenings was about how "when things were going well" in their life and marriage (following the Mormon script) there was "no capacity" to look into deep questions and address things that they both didn't already know how to address. I think it makes a lot of sense that we fall into scripts and routines and only when something doesn't "follow the script" do we even start to think outside what we've been told our whole lives. I ask myself "what is even the point of asking questions if we already are getting meaning and satisfaction?" Human nature--pretty interesting to notice the patterns (that we can't recognize usually until after the the things happen).

[@scottbrandon6244]

I think many people just think a temple sealing is like a regular marriage. The sealing is separate from the marriage. Most couples don't lose a spouse early into the marriage so re-marrying is not an issue.

[@GC2024_]

Because from early childhood, growing up in the church, we are taught, attend meetings, serve serve serve, pay to tithe, marry an RM, be sealed in the temple, and life will be a fairy tale, then reality hits, and a child dies and , a spouse dies, and your left like but I wasn't told about this

[@jeffstanaway3576]

They do not have the Spirit to guide them into the deeper questions. . . . Mormon doctrine is so deceived. . . . They believe that they will be God's in their own realm. . . This guy has been deceived for 40 years !

[@UTBanjo]

Not a member, but live in Utah. I felt the same way after loosing my wife to breast cancer. 35yrs old with a 2, 5, and 6 yr olds. I took my ring off after a week, and people asked why. I didn't feel married any more. I felt like a single dad grieving the loss of my partner. In traditional Christian belief, the relationship with The Father and The Son makes our earthly relationship pale in comparison.

[@UTBanjo]

@@tylerhall95 you are so bound up in calling out others in your diatribe that you failed to even ask what I believe. Me pointing out a belief doesn’t mean I do or don’t subscribe to said belief. Saying you could get a ticket for speeding doesn’t tell you if I do or do not agree with speed limits. I’m not sure why you are so butt hurt, but you need to take a chill pill.

[@bradimnelson]

As a child whose dad passed away and mom remarried, the confusion I had over “sealings” is really what made me stop believing in the church

[@thelastgoonie6555]

Ironic...that being their "selling" point and all.

[@melissalewis8803]

Right??

[@janicemerritt327]

Question. Are your parents and siblings supportive of your new way of living

[@windyday85]

​@@tylerhall95 AGREED

[@windyday85]

@@tylerhall95 I'm sorry. I didnt mean to be sarcastic.

[@AJansenNL]

Having listened to this beautiful lady's story, I can't help thinking that her husband might have been so much happier if he'd been given the chance to come to the same realisations she has.

[@wildaltarose]

As I listened to your story I couldn’t help but think of my friend. She left the church for years, but is now has gone back. I just feel so sad that she made that decision. Thank you for sharing your story, and for being so honest. It can’t be easy raising a family alone, so I will keep you in my prayers.

[@elizabethgrogan8553]

Having listened to the entire Lori nightmare case daily (nightly here), this was a special episode. Janae is a very intelligent woman. She explains her growth in terms that are like a well thought out guidebook. There's something for everybody. I want to thank her and wish the very best for herself and her children. They richly deserve it.

[@karenwood3384]

thank you for this beautiful part 1 and 2 with Janae. I lost my husband young, left with 3 daughters to raise and went through my faith crisis after his death . I could so relate to you Janae and you are an amazing, courageous ,beautiful FREE WOMAN . Thank you for being so honest, real and vulnerable . Your truths are my truths AMEN

[@kristinenelson990]

As a former Mormon, totally set free, married twice, I found truth in God's word the Bible: Matthew 22:30, Jesus tells a group of questioners, "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” I believe I will know & recognize my children (all now grown with their own families), all my friends & loved ones, maybe even my beloved dog... but we won't be married, that's for sure! Thank goodness I no longer have to worry about all of this chaotic & fear-mongering LDS Doctrine!

[@sandianaya5141]

This lady is very intelligent. Sincere condolences to her.

[@lisabrinkerhoff4706]

Absolutely great podcast! I hope all those whom struggle in this cult, to find the courage to leave it and be totally free from its bondage and oppression!❤

[@HermanFickewirth]

A truly beautiful and together woman....& a very inspiring interview! Thank you for being courageous and sharing your story. I am not a Mormon, raised Christian funkamentalist, and your many guest interviews have really helped me. Also have a close friend,lifelong Mormon ( 78 ), who has listened to this interview several times. He is a widower, who chooses not to leave the LDS yet. He lives in Holliday,Utah.Thanks for being authentic ! And I pray you will find the right long-term partner!

[@lisatakeitorleaveit]

I was raised Catholic and I had my doubts about the church and their policies. I had three sons and I choose the let them move through religious instruction and receive their confirmations in case they choose to Be married in a church. I spoke to my sons about my feelings and after my last son received his confirmation I went to the rectory and handed in a letter of resignation and my reasons. I’m sure they didn’t care but it was for me to make a stand. I explained to my sons and all three of them have faith as grown men but do not belong to an organized religion and none have them decided to be married in a church. I fully understand as a mother why she is where she is at with that. So happy she is living her best life ! The single best thing I ever did with my sons was let them learn from the natural consequences of life and not to protect them, but to stand by them while they navigated them

[@bettebench6342]

I am an active member of the church. I’ve been widowed for26 years. Second marriage for both of us. My children were sealed to us. It’s been difficult in many aspects. I’ve had run ins with two different Bishops. To keep my experiences with both of them in perspective, I remember they are men first and are flawed like the rest of us. I’ve even given a widow’s mite to each of them. I admire your courage, Janea. You are a very good & strong woman, and Mother. Your children are fortunate to have you as their mother. John & Margi, thank you for all you bring to us. I question a lot within the Gospel but there again it is run by men that are merely human becomings before any thing else. My Faith is strong but not blind!

[@protaismk3554]

This is not a true gospel from God, this is book of Mormon policy which doesn't make any sense. I asked a lot of questions to the missionaries before I joined the Mormon organization but they were unable to give me clear answers. One day I gave them a scripture Matthew 22:23 -31 and I was surprised to hear that they never read it before.

[@zacheryeckard3051]

@@protaismk3554 None of the gospels are true or from God. They are all form men, who use the claim of God to convince those who want to believe.

[@The_One_and_Only996]

That are supposedly led by and inspired by God …. How do you reconcile that?

[@patricianoel7782]

My uncle was killed in a plane crash when my aunt was pregnant with her 5 th child under 10 years. She remarried civil to another TBM. Poor man was always sad about not having her but no way would she cave. She was married to him for 40 years! He raised her kids! She stuck it out. He died recently. What a dilemma! 😮

[@sarahnelson9329]

Just WOW

[@Moonfasination]

This was a wonderful interview. She is reminding me so much of what my own experience has been in many aspects.

[@phoeneoware2644]

Listening to the dating gymnastics post divorce/death of a spouse as a never Mormon is interesting and very hard for my head to understand 😬.

[@deanchappell1314]

In many NDE's in spirit the departed visit their loved ones. We're all connected spiritually. Janne knows when Grant's spirit is near, she can discern him. It is the same with feeling when Christ is near, he takes us down rabbit holes that free our spirits.. we are good enough for Jesus.

[@officialcalvinwayman]

42:48 “emotionally ridiculous.” - my new favorite phrase of all time.

[@distressedmrs3191]

I absolutely loved so much. How succinctly she said, what I personally have not been able to word correctly for myself. “My own integrity wouldn’t allow myself to continue!” ❤

[@callmesuperman36]

Janae has been the single most impactful story I have heard. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I am so very thankful

[@suzyvivian7514]

This is so very convoluted that I don't know how anyone could believe it. I had the same experiences. In addition, being single and female in the church is so awful. You never feel like you fit in anywhere. Additionally, the Bible says there are no marriages in heaven. Sheesh.

[@metteberg9729]

‘This is so very convoluted that I don't know how anyone could believe it.’ As an outsider that was my thought, exactly. 🤯

[@pnwmeditations]

Thank you Janae for sharing your story! Your generosity with sharing your personal experiences is such a gift to everyone.

[@kimmrees410]

I feel so bad for her confusion and anguish. I sincerely pray she finds true happiness and peace in this life! Good luck and God Bless !

[@touchedbyfire99]

This is fascinating stuff for a non-Mormon such as myself to learn. I am not typically judgmental of faith beliefs but this stuff is kind of off the wall. People can get twisted into knots trying to stay on this Mormon bandwagon. Just another patrimony controlling women disguised as “religion.”😊

[@OnusofStrife]

Same here. Though I can't make sense why the statistics show women are over represented in religions. 🤷

[@SocratesINl]

Maybe people will think I am the very arrogant in this comment. I am sorry when it feels that way. I think we need all energy humanity has to make the planet survive. All the energy used for the non existing afterlife, is lost energy. We can't permit it anymore. It's out of concern, I write this, and also with hesitation. I don't want to hurt people. I really don't. When you read all I wrote, thank you for taking the effort. And please, try to understand my point of view. For me this is nearly as insane as the whole Vallow/Daybell story. For me this is a cult like theirs, without the murders. I don't get it, that people think their religion is the real one and the best and not a cult. "All the others have it wrong." In my eyes it's unbelievable to be so gullible. There are better and worse religions? Why/how can you believe that? . Religion, in my eyes, is a way to make money for the few and to take hostage the many gullible people. I grew up as a catholic. Same story, other ways. Left de church as soon as I could. That almighty entity that makes happen all those tragedies and disasters, it's not true. "Miracles' are man made. No need to thank the entity, thank the people who made it happen. It's a fantasy because of the fear for death. And an explanation for everything people don't understand. Since the start of humanity. Life and death are connected. Without death, life wouldn't exist. You have 1 life. Make it work well and be as happy as you can and, even important, take as much care for others that their life works as well and can be as happy as possible. Make this planet survive. Humanity won't survive otherwise. We won't even have that 1 life left then. Thank you, if you read all.

[@BrigitteDiessl]

Oh, Margi! You hit the nail on the head. After three years of being a pretty solid MSP listener, it still boggles my mind that anyone, let alone a grown woman who has lost her husband, feels it is ok, even more so, to go and tell some random man that they have had sex.

[@elevin8858]

So grateful to be a Jewish widow. My husband in his final months told me not to bury myself afterward. He was like you’re too alive for that. And while I didn’t decide to remarry, my comment has been if he wanted a vote, he should have lived.

[@candacecarnicelli8145]

I'm not a Mormon . . . but I think what Janae shared so authentically and you asked so authentically is Truth Telling not just for someone leaving that Church but anyone leaving any belief or dogma that is inauthentic and does not serve their Highest and Best Good. Thank You All for being there and Being Love in Action. Candace in L.A.

[@sarahnelson9329]

I appreciate your journey and telling it to everyone ❤ I feel a connection to the conflicting feelings and becoming disillusioned. I also grew up in the church. Thank you for sharing!!!

[@brittant1066]

I watch this show all the time and my heart just breaks for everyone who is so hurt by high demand religions in general but when I say my heart broke for this woman 💔 As a “never Mormon” listener over the last couple years I have learned a lot about Mormonism and learn new things all the time but the perspective of a widowed woman was something I have never thought about or heard spoken about before. What a lonely and confusing place to be put in by your church to be alone for all of this life or to sentence your new husband to eternal loneliness. There is no good or acceptable answer to that question and I can’t imagine - on top of me and my children having lost this irreplaceable person in this life, having to make a decision about who loses in the next. So glad that she has found her freedom, and her own voice for her eternity ❤️

[@xx.413nonya9]

im not a mormon but i was a huge fan of TKOR, I was ignorant to the mormon religion and i have to say i was quite enthrawled with the video. i learned a lot, gained respect (in some aspects) and think differently about many things, thank you for posting and thank you janae for being a superstar human and mother

[@DancingThunderbird1003]

I became a widow in Feb 2024. I can resonate with so much that Janae said. I was with my LH 24 yrs. Losing your spouse, is like none other. There is NO comparison. I am not Mormon, but was raised in a very similar idea of beliefs...cult. I find the similarities fascinating. Just wanted to say thank you, Janae for sharing your story.

[@HeavnzMiHome]

How do the LDS reconcile the teaching of Jesus that says in heaven there’s neither marriage or giving in marriage.

[@hildabingen8100]

I have heard them try to go around this by saying things such as: "That´s why temples are SOOO important. Sealings must be performed in this life, and then they will be valid in the eternities", or "During the Milleninum (pre-heaven) temples will function 24/7 to perform sealings" etc. But there are still holes in this reasoning, as unmarried faithful LDS women are told on their deathbeds that they will be rewarded with a husband in heaven... It is all silly, and not supposed to make any sense. Just a control mechanism.

[@terryramsey1484]

I’ve wanted to know this answer as well

[@sharonread7674]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[@kristyo1645]

Last I heard (2016 ish) to perform a temple sealin for the dead, a marriage would need to have taken place while alive, on earth. But like Hilda said, the "brethren" have promised a husband to faithful single women, so 🤷‍♀️ idk

[@bearsabove]

Please cite

[@gina2464]

If you don’t want the be in your church community,then why allow your kids to be apart of something they will be sucked into? The Mormon church has a dark spirit , keep them safe and away!

[@beboystyle620]

I can relate to you in a lot of ways. I feel like my eyes are opened after leaving the church. I see both sides and it helps me to understand people on either side.

[@simplydanlrene4276]

I am praying for Janae. Losing someone you love ...the grief does not end in an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, two years,etc. It is not something you can just say...Ok I am over it. It is a hard journey. I pray her sorrow and pain gets lower and the joy gets higher and I pray God continues to guide her in what is the truth instead of what someone tells you it is.

[@Mari-go5hc]

I'm a Christian that was raised to believe that when we die we are all together in God's house. Which I interpret as heaven. This is what we were taught in church by our minister. I'm sorry, I don't mean to come off as rude, but what the LDS are taught sounds so very complicated. Also I don't understand the whole family concept either. So say your son gets sealed to his wife. What happens to their relationship when they die if your son is sealed to you and your spouse as your child? Where does that leave his wife and what about their children? Make this make sense to me!

[@Bugiddle]

LOL, it just doesn't make sense at all! As a person who was raised in this church but stopped believing a long time ago, it is just utter nonsense. And you're not rude at all.🙂

[@CharlesVance]

An amazing story and a very spiritually empowered woman. I enjoyed listening to her story, the hosts are excellent at interacting with the guest. As to eternal families and being "sealed" to an earthly spouse, I personally believe what Jesus told the Sadducees in Matthew 22:23-30, that we will not be male or female in the Celestial Kingdom but perfected beings of light as are the angels of heaven.

[@Modernwidowsclubmovement]

Thank you for sharing this story. As we research all circumstances for widows worldwide, this was very eye opening and raw vulnerability being shared.

[@SylviaDragon]

Her story reminds me of a similar tragedy that befall a young woman in my ward back when i was 14 or so. Young mother- like i think maybe mid twenties at the time. she had a few very young kids. (think the oldest was five?) Her husband died in a 4 wheeler accident. She went from being happily married to being a young window of two super young children. Suddenly she became untouchable. Because what mormon man would want to raise another mans children and end up alone in the afterlife when there were plenty of other 20somthings to choose from? And if she ever wanted to re-marry, Mormon rules would demand she say goodbye to her previous husband (and her two kids) in the afterlife. I left the church a while ago but last i heard, her oldest was graduating high school. she had raised her children on her own and never remarried because she didn't want to lose her husband. It always bothers me when i think about that. she deserved help. she deserves love. I hope she is able to find it some day.

[@LisaRent]

My mom’s cousin was in her early 20’s when her Mormon husband was killed in an airplane crash. She didn’t grow up Mormon so she didn’t understand what that meant to her future. When she wanted to start dating again, she was counseled about her lack of choices. When she had to choose between being single for the next 60 years (she recently died in her mid 80’s), or walking away from Mormonism, she chose to walk away. She never got married again but she dated throughout her life.

[@cindihunter9119]

Love your connection with Margi! Your chemistry is amazing! Coffee is King in the morning! Beautiful interview! Thank-You! 😎🎻♥️

[@917hazel]

Teal conversation d can be hard to come by in this life, for me. Thank you. Part 1 and Part 2 are unique to themselves. Catch both🙏

[@crystalchristensen7972]

Janae, thank you for sharing your story with us. Sending love to you.

[@jessicac6787]

Good thing there's no marriage in heaven!

[@elainebeard2922]

I lost my Mormon husband last year,but I am older, however….. I know that the Churchis not true,thank goodness.Igave over 50 years of my life to the Church, What a waste. I personally would not be interested in anyone else,i was sealed to my 1 husband,what a farce.. Such a male dominated religion. And I battled the whole time I was in the Church,,,, my issue was I stood up to these so called leaders. When will women wake up and realize these realities?Good luck Janie.

[@scottbrandon6244]

Eternal families at 13:00. Single Adults which includes widows/widowers, divorced or never married make up more than 50% of the global membership of the LDS church. Yet the focus has been on families in past decades. My stake has more than 60% of its members who are single adults (31 and above).

[@dorismartin2434]

I related so much to your morning coffee. I have never been Mormon but my morning coffee is my time to myself to reflect on the day and connect w God. I cannot see my spiritual moments as being wrong in any way.

[@empressvee]

What a brilliant woman!

[@jackgaskill4528]

This is one of the best mormon stories I have ever heard. Thank you

[@OnusofStrife]

I really enjoyed the two part series with Janae. This has to be one of the most interesting story I have seen on the channel. She is a super interesting person. Someone I would love to sit down and chat with. I wish her the best of luck! I can't imagine raising 4 boys by oneself will be easy.

[@sthomas2504]

I worked for my first stake president's family after getting married. They had 6 children and I got to know them fairly well over the 7 years we were in that stake. Fast-forward to 2017 when a sister I was visiting from our ward related the following tragic story (she was told by her parents, whom were acquainted with our former stake president through a church dental mission): Stake president's oldest son had been married less than 5 years and had one child when first wife died in a car accident. He married another woman, had at least one more child & then HE died. Second wife had the step-child and at least one child with this man, she married again and (I think) had at least one more child and then SHE died! Her second husband now has at least 2 children that are not his biologically and his own children, but no wife to help raise them. I'm not sure what happened after that because I left the church not too long afterwards. I can't even imagine what the Mormon leaders would have said to each new spouse, regarding the child/children they were raising FOR THE DECEASED BIOLOGICAL PARENT(S)!!!!!!

[@caseyjude5472]

I’m really enjoying this interview. Long form & in-depth with an interesting person that communicates well. Thank you Janae for sharing your story with us ❤

[@Deanajb1963]

I’ve been able to identify with this guest the most, especially at the end of the podcast.

[@veggieview2264]

You are an Awesome woman and mother. Some day you may again be a unique partner with someone new. For now, this has been your journey to be your unique and true self. You have become a true adult who owns her own mind and spirit. You are no longer a mind slave. You are FREE CONGRATULATIONS!!

[@lorraineheck6702]

Thank you, I appreciate your story. I, also left the church and I feel free.

[@jackmagdiel1750]

It is difficult for me to understand Janae's loss. Thank you for sharing. It does help. Thru your sharing, you are lifting the burdens of others. You are making all our worlds more doable.

[@marynall7280]

What an inspiring woman. I'm looking forward to reading her blog.

[@lbi96762]

Janae, you are hitting it on the nail! Just do you and your kids let go of the darkness you've been indoctrinated with.

[@Arunamatata495]

What an articulate, insightful guest. Brilliant interview.

[@cherylduncan5158]

Great podcast! I just love Margi’s kind and soothing voice❤

[@suemount6042]

Janae thank you so much, I’m glad you are now truly connected and free

[@IdahoPatty]

Oi. This is what an existential crisis looks like. You deserve love in your life period. Keep growing.

[@howdyfarmer9614]

I think some LDS people don't give themselves permission to think for themselves and I think that as a person realizes that they want to live the LDS lifestyle because they aren't experimenting but they are living intentionally to avoid making decisions that might compromise personal values, like when a young person first gets married maybe they want that commitment with someone they are having children with. Maybe they want to know that they are free of addictions that will compromise their attention or judgement. These can be very positive choices for a person to avoid falling into a lifestyle that could harm them socially, emotionally, sexually or physically.

[@TubeTreasure2]

As Janae has alluded to or shown it can be difficult making decisions as the church influenced her earlier perceptions. To me, she has had to learn a whole new way of living or her brain is reconditioning to a new life. Which I don't think is easy. I only hope people who go through this have some support like Mormon stories.

[@Malia_00001]

Im sorry for you loss. The temple is when I thought, ummmm no, this is not okay. I got divorced and left the church over 20 years ago. Temarriend and in love with my wonderful Catholic husband. I watch a lot of NDE. And it helps me a lot to understand Heaven.

[@jillplott4986]

What a great story and told very well. I resonate with you so much! Thank you for this!

[@ronnieliles5351]

Congratulations on the beautiful journey. Thanks for sharing.💜

[@PatrickThreewit]

At least Janae had friends and family. My wife died two months ago, my daughter and family of 5 kids, basically disowned us, and when we no longer believed only two people in our ward did not shun us, and we spent 39 years as active Mormons. I may have had my wife for 55 years, but my emotional problems weren't with the death but trying to learn to make friends after being part of a community of believers for so long.

[@kollettebowman5247]

That's to bad and I don't understand how they can say they are believers but then act like that I grew up in Idaho and have never been LDS but have been on the outside my whole life I hope things get better for you

[@winniecross4579]

Blessings sweet sister, you got there, and you know what you are doing. Thank you for sharing.

[@TheKeck]

My sister was widowed the day after her first son was born and had to deal with all of these exact issues. She has found a wonderful man who was willing to "take the chance" on marrying her "for time only" and deals with all of these exact issues. There is always the handwaving that "it will all be made right in the end", but the truth is there are no good answers for any of it.

[@aircastlearchitect]

Great interview. Thanks to all.

[@mayflowergal6794]

The comment to Margi about ' You both spending your eternal marriage in hell'....I spit out my drink and nearly choked...that. was. Hilarious!