MORTIFICATION

In which John ventures outside to discuss heck takers, hectares, Bill Gates, the foreign minister of Ethiopia, signing books for a crowd of two, and his many mortifications.
Thanks to Alan for the fields of my expertise illustration: / fallofautumndistro

[@hollytaylor932]

Maybe the heck-taker can become a new unit of measurement for mortification. Like having your fly undone all day is about 50 heck-takers and someone reading your middle school diary is about 100 heck-takers?

[@jenakroyd6201]

Awesome idea!!!

[@Sigart]

My middle school diary would cause so much less embarrassment than an open fly, though. Like, first f all it was bland as shit and second, it was in the past and so much easier t make fun of past me than present me.

[@BriWhoSaysNi]

Awesome idea. I'm definitely goona start using this. Totally needs to be a thing.

[@Lauen324]

YES!

[@Vocalinds]

Oh man, can Nerdfighteria make this a thing? It's perfect!!

[@boyinaband]

As a rapper I can confirm those are slant rhymes and Eminem would be proud of you attempting to rhyme them.

[@ArtStardust]

Went digging for the rapper in the comments. Of course it was you.

[@ILikeToEatCheeses]

ITS DAVEEEEEEEEEEE

[@runbabyrun05]

@Boyinaband and @Cynthia Jeub I like how your hair matches, they're even blowing in the same direction! :)

[@mypinkcookiez]

^I literally LOL'ed

[@GlimpseCorp]

Stay Wide Awake - verse two - 15 slant rhymes doe...

[@bethjcrowley]

"(S)he said confidently, feeling a whisper of doubt." SO. ACCURATE.

[@eliza3986]

omg! it’s you! your music is amazing! (& that really is an excellent quote!)

[@NathanTalbott]

I think a whisper of doubt is healthy, keeps us in check. But you do a good job of holding yourself accountable to the words you use, John, so don't feel like you need to take any Heck from us. Lest you become.. a Heck-taker.

[@NathanTalbott]

#imnotsorry

[@Gossy367]

*applause*

[@G33KST4R]

So bad.. 10/10 *wipes laughing tear from eye*

[@ArchaeoV]

Haha :')

[@charismawizard]

You sir, you have made this video complete. *applauds*

[@evan]

This was such an enjoyable, honest vlog. I dig this.

[@lookwhoitisnt]

Evan!

[@epicnessofmine]

Am I the only one who feels like I could just sit and listen to John talk all day? He has such interesting thoughts and perceptions and such a good storytelling voice it makes him so easy to listen to.

[@TMMx]

I remember seeing that video and thinking, "did he just say 'hectacre'?"

[@Kram1032]

did you see the trillion annotations?

[@antivanti]

Me too but at first, before I saw his comment about it, I just assumed it was one of those silly American things like "aluminum" or saying billion when you mean milliard. =P

[@bednarpe123]

Scar Joseph Blood I think not. English is using short scale. It must be pretty error prone job of translating to other languages.

[@antivanti]

The British used to use the long scale but I don't think they ever used that word. It's French but we use it in Sweden as well (miljard). Other examples of silly American things include imperial units and a silly format for dates :-P

[@bednarpe123]

Internalization is pain for every programmer.

[@vlogbrothers]

In which John Green ventures outside to discuss heck takers, hectares, Bill Gates, the foreign minister of Ethiopia, signing books for a crowd of two, and his many mortifications. Thanks to Alan for the fields of my expertise illustration: kzbin.info

[@ljmichaels1666]

Morty Green wrote The Fault in our Vocabulary.

[@hotsistersue]

I thought it was a word, too, and kinda gooder at word doing.

[@shonaferguson7689]

Don't worry about it John :-) I recently used the word "hiffclanger" instead of "cliffhanger" in an English exam...

[@JosephineFaye87]

Great video, it's nice to see people confidently own up to mistakes, even minor ones. It helps everyone. :)

[@gandalfthegreatwhite4393]

I always thought that one could not be a real NERD unless they had experienced mortification. Congratulations John Green!

[@allicatstrike11]

Oh John, you have told that story before.. and I wish I could give you a hug for all of your stories. But I know hugs from strangers isn't really your thing so I'll just give you a really encouraging high five over the Internet. Great video as usual :)

[@JumpingFlashStudios]

Is John the 12th Doctor ?

[@Wafflical]

Jake Lenburg John is not Matt Smith...I think.

[@JumpingFlashStudios]

Wafflical Sorry if we are speaking canonically Thirteenth Doctor.

[@allicatstrike11]

If we're speaking canon, Peter Capaldi is credited as the Twelfth Doctor. Also I like to pretend that the 50th anniversary special never happened.

[@JumpingFlashStudios]

allicatstrike I tend to agree. But I just don't count the War Doctor as one of the true incarnations. I think Moffat scrambled to get something together after Eccelston didn't want to be in it.

[@StarlightViolets]

The urge to draw the Vlogbrothers as grapefruits is becoming stronger. .-.

[@clarissajessica6291]

Yessss , do it ! Do it now! Wait no longer my creative little friend .... Go forth and be artsy enjoy the grape fruited vlog brothers!

[@phoenixliv]

Did you draw this?

[@StarlightViolets]

@@phoenixliv I did years ago! I put it on my tumblr and it was popular for a bit, but I did draw John and Hank as grapefruits!

[@mos8626]

John, you have no idea how soothing this video was for my anxieties. I might actually transcribe a bit of this into my diary for future reference. Very much appreciated.

[@DaedricSheep]

"making people cry field" JOHN

[@DaedricSheep]

***** "If you feel it all the time can you really call it pain." ~Hank Green same goes for happiness, without pain, then what's the point? not unfortunate, just grossly misused.

[@ccubed215]

DaedricSheep oh my gosh I meant to make a thing that contrasts the two quotes "Pain demands to be felt" by John and the one you just quoted by Hank, but I forgot about it. Now granted I think they both refer to different types of pain, but I still think it's interesting how they both have some awesome quotes concerning pain, but with conflicting premises.

[@DaedricSheep]

ccubed215 everyone experiences their own pain.

[@pseudogenesis]

DaedricSheep "If you feel it all the time can you really call it pain?" I keep trying to tell this to the people I torture in my basement but they never seem to be paying attention.

[@DaedricSheep]

pseudogenesis Well there's stockholms syndrome for a reason. use it dumbass.

[@vampirica89]

Yup, you said it in a video, I was the one who transcribed it for the nerdfighter wiki.

[@vlogbrothers]

Thank you transcription hero Scatter Moon Shards! -John

[@vampirica89]

***** You're welcome John, and thank you for replying! I'm a long time Serbian Nerdfighter and love all of your books, especially LFA. :) DFTBA. Oh just remembered, speaking of subtitles - I uploaded my translation of Crash Course Biology #22 subtitles to Serbian some months ago, but it never showed up on the video. :/ If anyone would help me with this, I'd appreciate it. Still got the file.

[@maggiebookworm]

I thought the fly being open story was only mentioned in a Wimbly Wombly's video. Then again, I cannot claim to have watched every Vlogbrothers video pre-2011

[@MihaiViteazul100]

There's a wiki?!

[@vampirica89]

***** nerdfighteria.info/

[@thedude2865]

"... he said confidently, feeling a whisper of doubt." I cannot tell you how often that can be attached to the ends of facts I recite and facts that I type. Mad respect for John.

[@LokiKeanu]

question, having given an entire presentation with your zipper open, what did you hope to achieve by turning round to do it up?

[@hb2578]

Manners.

[@LokiKeanu]

Hollie i still don't get how that actually works, I mean I understand it's a thing, and we all do it, just seams odd, like nothing left to hide lol

[@hb2578]

Loki Darkfire Yeah, I understand. He didn't know his zipper was down, but when he was made aware, he turned around to zip it up...just manners, dignity, and things. You know. Being a gentleman....a person. You know.

[@WulfTrax]

Saving some of his shredded dignity.

[@vlogbrothers]

I've thought about that many times. I think I imagined that it might slightly mitigate my mortification. -John

[@burritos4sammeh]

Oh! We have outside in New Jersey too!

[@danfrederiksen1607]

You used to have Grace Helbig too but you blew it :)

[@riyasriv]

Dan Frederiksen yeah we did god dang it

[@richielomas9564]

alas, we have no outside here in Pennsylvania

[@deirdrecahill8680]

We do? I heard we used to have Grace but outside?

[@ViridisArborem]

I'll be honest, this made me feel so much better about making a slight fool of myself meeting David Suchet.

[@ViridisArborem]

It was after seeing his performance of The Last Confession (coming to the end of its tour around Australia now - beautiful play! See it if you can!) because he was at stage door. He signed three things (Final cases boxset, Curtain: Poirot's Last Case book and the program for The Last Confession). He was absolutely wonderful, so gracious and happy despite being in the midst of this tour. As soon as I'd stepped out of the signing/meeting area, I started crying. I stood nearby with my mother so we could just have the joy of watching him meet people. One of the ladies noticed I was crying and when everyone had gone through invited me to go in and see him again and I was a blubbering mess. But he gave me some good advice about the job I want to go into (film/tv production, possibly directing) and was so charming. He even replied when I tweeted him the photo we had together from before I started crying! :D

[@ViridisArborem]

***** Thanks :)

[@ThoughtsOverCoffee]

Dream come true!! I would be crying with you...

[@ViridisArborem]

Catherine Chapman :) If you get the chance, meet him.

[@ViridisArborem]

Alex Whatson you still in Brizzy? is there a gathering coming up any time soon? (you do remember me from 2012, right?)

[@charlietuba]

The morning that my father died (August 3, 1994, at about 2 AM), my mother called the paramedics and our church pastor. When the pastor arrived at my parents' home his shirt tail was sticking out of his fly. As you may notice the date my father passed away, this give Esther Day an extra special meaning for me.

[@faradays.9691]

"he said confidently, feeling a whisper of doubt" that just sounds beautiful even tho I don't think it was meant to be very profound

[@reevecoble1812]

Well, I mean, he is a New York best selling author.

[@Tetsuo-gi5bf]

John, I have an anecdote about a Nerdfighter I met that I think you will enjoy. I work at a retail store, primarily in the electronics and entertainment department. Recently I was stocking children's books when a pair of shoppers neared the area and one of them went straight for the young adult section. She was very excitedly ranting about some books. I could tell by where she was that she was talking about your books so I wanted to say something but also was trying not to eavesdrop. Moments later, her companion says "You just ranted for minutes about a book.. put it down, picked up another one.. and started ranting again." At this point he and I made eye contact and he says "Are you hearing this?" to which I replied "I can tell she's a reader." She and I spoke briefly about how I hadn't read any of your books but that I'd recently become a fan of Vlogbrothers, which caused her to turn to her companion and proclaim "See?! I TOLD you!" I was pleased to have just met my first fellow Nerdfighter, but felt this was a good time to quietly exit the conversation. She began speaking again, and while I couldn't follow everything she was saying, I could tell she was lecturing her friend about The Fault In Our Stars. She concluded her point and he says "That sounds like a marketing ploy authors would use to sell more books." Her response was priceless: "Yes... But John Green wouldn't do that. He's a bro." I was urged by a friend that introduced me to Vlogbrothers to share this story and to say for her "Just so you know, John, you're a bro." -DFTBA

[@BroSparkles]

I'm not sure if we have outside in Michigan or not.

[@Adam-qy6yc]

Having grown up there, I can confirm that we do not.

[@kavyac700]

Having also lived in michigan I can confirm that we do have the outside but extreme climate-dependent clothing must be worn before beginning to conquer the outside.

[@graceannegasperson4029]

We have outside in South Carolina, but it's HOT.

[@GenaTrius]

I can confirm we have outside in Florida. Please send help.

[@kaitiewoodard5748]

TEXAS HAS CAUGHT THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!! PLEASE SEND HELP!!!!!

[@3lostandconfused]

Just have to say, it's been a rough day and coming home and watching a vlogbrothers video was exactly what I needed. I don't think you guys will ever fully understand the impact you have on people (which is good and will keep you humble). And even though this video wasn't about anything life-altering, there's just something special about finding the perfect distraction at the exact moment your brain needs it. So thank you.

[@legoappleinc]

And here I though a hectacre was some area measurement unit that I hadn't heard about.

[@soccergal1886]

I thought the same thing about the hectare! Sigh, the struggle is real.

[@TristanBomber]

Both of them are technically valid units. Only nobody uses hectacre (which would be 100 acres, and would be blending SI and customary).

[@teroregon]

This is exactly the kind of vlog that has me hooked on vlog brothers, nerdfighteria, all of John's books, and some of Hanks songs....reminding us we are all real people, all making mistakes, all doing the best we can...AND together, totally capable of creating awesome!

[@EllotusFreeholy]

'Get through a two person book signing without alienating the audience' ~ John you are so dang funny.

[@protoman21]

John's first book signing only had 2 people and Hank's first concert only had 6 people. You can't help but be amazed at where they are today

[@CristinaNoujaim]

I think as a fandom we should call this "the heck taker incident" I have a feeling that would be very funny

[@christianloper9483]

Your honesty and frank personality are wonderful. It's why you may be my favorite person that I've never met.

[@genesisthis]

Thank you for subtlety addressing the stolen celebrity photos. I lost a little faith in humanity this past weekend when the internet was all like, "you had shitty security, therefore it's your fault I stole your private property".

[@PeterKim222]

John started the video as a personal confession and made it topical. Vlogbrothers are the best.

[@Pendragons_Art]

Aw John! I mortify myself by opening my mouth on a regular basis.

[@kyrawatkowski3800]

I died when on the fields of John's expertise was making people cry. Which John was dead on with. He is the reason for my tears and my joy. Thanks John.

[@furicuri3]

I used to say "Genre" like it's written -and not at all frenchy-like - and boy, did I earn a mass of laughter from my peers. *shivers*

[@pranamd1]

+Auch Hier Being a French loan word, "genre" sounds exactly like it's written.

[@furicuri3]

You're right.

[@Jpaynesmith]

+Auch Hier What, like "jen-ree"?

[@sumtourist9406]

This was so helpful...I've recently had a lot of problems with feeling like I have to be my public self constantly, even in private, and this was so comforting.

[@Man_Toast]

I remember seeing that video and thinking, "There should be a maze made out of Maize."

[@henrythompson3406]

I live near a Maize maze

[@geminiproject062]

Henry Thompson Must be a-maize-ing to walk through!

[@WulfTrax]

Maize mazes (or "corn mazes" in some places) are AWESOME!!!

[@twinny0625]

In my home town we have a maize maze shaped like America. No lie.

[@susiewolter]

Last week I passed out while watching a procedure during my orientation at a hospital after confidently telling my supervisor I didn't have a weak stomach. Then I got to meet the lovely rapid response team who put a neck brace on me and wheeled me to the ER where I spent 6 hours to learn the only thing gravely injured on me was my pride. Mortifying.

[@Poplopo]

For what it's worth, I did pause the video last time to look up "hectacre" in the dictionary, just in case. Nerdfighteria seems to inspire curiosity by default!

[@dancinislivin828]

What an eloquent way to address the horrible invasion of privacy that recently broke without directing more traffic towards the offending images. Bravo, John... you're a class act :)

[@OthEdden]

I thought you were saying Hex-acre. Like a sqaure mile but 6 sided or cursed with drought.

[@thebermudaI]

I'm glad when you share your self-induced mortification stories with us, not because I'm glad that you were mortified but because recalling them gets me through my low moments. "John Green is a success. He has also done/said embarrassing things. It will be okay!"

[@Randomstuffs261]

HECKTAKERGATE 2014

[@sheaelliott942]

(unless I've previously seen this video and am just referencing this...) JOHN'S FIELDS OF GENIUS HAVE RETURNED! That makes me happy, gosh I love this channel.

[@lether41]

Just sing, "O-O-OH CHILD" and everything's gonna be fine, John.

[@8ballslackz]

Having seen literally all of the vlogbrother videos, this is one of the best posts in a long while. Culturally relevant, grounded, and slllllightly embarrassing. John, you beautiful person.

[@tasuki199]

Oh no, John! You're human after all. It's okay.

[@taliafore1578]

This is the kind of VlogBrothers video that I live for. Just the right amount of funny and educational. Thank you John! DFTBA and best wishes.

[@jasonschneijder2012]

I forgive you John, We forgive you.

[@jasonschneijder2012]

btw you've done so many awesome stuff; sooner or later you'll make a mistake.

[@u1m1a]

This is the most adorable Vlogbrother video I've seen ever (excluding those with Henry ofc BECAUSE SUCH CUTENESS).

[@casperTheBird]

The part that struck me was about our 2 selves and how we cant be our public selves always. And then I thought so what about if we lived in a world where we were always are our private selves? Would that be a better world? Id 1st think yeah because wed all be honest and open about things and people would call eachother out and it wouldnt be a big deal. But then I think maybe it just wouldnt be possible because when people would change to get along or fit in, theyd be creating a public self.

[@elwynbrooks]

I think the predominant difference would be that there would probably be a good amount of pantslessnes.

[@graceannegasperson4029]

The above comment is the best comment ever.

[@KJT4solus]

catlife333, look up the principles of Sociocultural level of analysis, paying special attention to the third principle. I think you might find it very interesting :) Your comment was exceedingly thought compelling, btw

[@arcticmonkeysluvr009]

For the record, as an agricultural engineer who is leaving for Senegal in 10 days to work in sustainable agriculture, I was really excited when I saw that your video was going to be on agriculture in developing countries. :) Side note, I had multiple professors in college say hectacre.

[@MichielHaisma]

To cheer you up: I think Looking for Alaska is an amazing book!

[@valwow187]

indeed it is

[@kathlynsomers2552]

I feel like I'm getting an English lesson from him every time I watch these videos it's so helpful!

[@BaileysPeople]

You told the fly down story in a Wimbly Womblys vid

[@snaboof]

Yes! I knew I had heard him tell it somewhere, but I couldn't remember if it was early Vlogbrothers, or Wimbly Womblys. Now I remember, and also feel a little creepy for having watched so much of John

[@lydaswogger8012]

I don't watch those and I have heard it so I think he also did a normal video on it

[@leahg180]

It was in a vlogbrothers video as well. The Unzipper Zipper (of Your Pants)

[@alexandraRatliff]

I used to get embarrassed so easily, but after a while you realize that it's ok to make mistakes. You have told that story about your fly being down in a vlogbrothers video but that's ok. It always makes me smile. I really needed that, thank you

[@hifromthestudio]

Same here especially when it comes to periods and cramps. If I need to get stuff from the nurse or friend I honestly don't really care anymore. People move on and forget.

[@yolomylife]

*slyly admits to not knowing what either heck taker or hectare is..

[@alisawilson6342]

The most weird, amazing and awesome thing happend! My Langauge Arts and Social Studies teacher is a nerdfighter! It is just really weird. Nobody else in class understands the references she makes or why she constantly puts on crash course, mental floss, and vlogbrothers videos. We are currently learning about figurative langauge and she always uses stuff from your videos or books. Here I thought that there was no nerdfighter in my school! We have all of John's books in our class! I'm just so excited for this school year now!

[@sarahmarine9420]

John,your words make me feel out of depth 😪😪. I subscribed to your channel back in 2012 so I am not sure if you would classify me as a nerdfighter because I have not been here long. BTW John I got my aunty hooked on your books :D she loves them.

[@SuziePicc]

Nerdfighters are anyone who wants to watch the show and enjoys it. Welcome to the fandom!

[@veronika1159]

If it makes you feel any better I became a Nerdfighter about a month and a half ago

[@summer6100]

Anyone who wants to be a Nerdfighter, is a Nerdfighter. Don't be afraid of us, please. I have never spoken to a Nerdfighter who wasn't intelligent, witty, and pleasant to talk to. Join the dark side...

[@sarahcb3142]

Watch John and Hank's video on how to become a nerdfighter. *Spoiler Alert* You already are one. :) DFTBA

[@jessipirkle1296]

***** This makes me feel so much better. I was scared of being considered a fakey fakering fake-ist for wanting to be a part of something like Nerdfighters. Thank you

[@ReadHeadPat]

They ARE called slant rhymes!!! Or eye rhymes. I learned this in English class last week. GOOD JOB JOHN.

[@NathanAndRose]

***** I have come to discover that when you record yourself and put it on the internet as often as we do, there are bound to be moments of *mortification*. It's still worth it :) -Nathan

[@TheGlassDragon3]

'Said confidently, feeling a whisper of doubt' This speaks to me on a spiritual level...

[@JulieHerrick]

I've heard of "acres" as a measurement of land, but I've never heard of "ares". That's why the term "hectacres" seemed reasonable to me when I heard him say it. I'd never heard that term, but it seemed likely to me that it meant 100 acres. Are "acres" on a thing in the US and "ares" a thing in parts of the world that use metric?

[@john-alanpascoe5848]

Acres are indeed a thing in the US, and probably the UK still as well (cue British people telling me I'm wrong ;) ). Ares are a metric unit of measurement (equal to 100 m^2), but (at least here in the Netherlands) in everyday conversation people only really use hectares for some reason, for smaller areas we just use square metres instead.

[@iplaysdrums]

"ares" as a measurement of land area not to be confused with "ares" the greek god of war. just to muddy the waters a bit.

[@katlambert2512]

I live in Australia on a half acre block whilst my parents own a 12 hectare farm. We just kind of mix and match.

[@cervyvin]

For me (and probably others) the comic effect of hearing "hectacre" made me remember the content better. It's the special (although odd) things in the presentations and the content that helps with the remembering.

[@JayFe0]

Sorry to have to tell you this Hank. A hectare is not 100 square metres, it's 100m², 10,000 square metres or 107,639ft². Speaking of which, is it not time the US started thinking about the metric system? The Ethiopia video was great by the way.

[@veronika1159]

I'm an American and us not being on the metric system is one of my biggest pet peeves! The metric system is seriously so much better!! I have friends who are also bothered by us not being solely on the metric system. I can't believe we haven't switched despite the fact that we have to still learn the metric system AND our silly measuring system. It's ridiculous. Other Americans need to let go of their nostalgia and pride of the empirical (imperial?) system and just switch to the beautiful metric system. Sorry rant over haha But not all Americans are opposed to the switch!

[@altijdjouwnaantje]

Veronika Specht Imperial system yes, because it was used by the British Empire. Empirical would be _originating in or based on observation or experience_. I'm so happy to live in a country that uses the metric system, it really is a lot easier!

[@veronika1159]

altijdjouwnaantje Hah I despise my system so much I don't even know what it's called! Thanks for the clarification :) And I agree! As someone who is awful at multiplication it's so much easier to just move a decimal place! Or add zeroes! It's like the penny though, people are just stuck on it for silly reasons lol

[@BriWhoSaysNi]

Trust me, there's plenty of Americans who would love to switch to the metric system, myself included. It's just that overhauling a country's entire system of measurement is really difficult. Also, that's John, not Hank. lol (A mistake/typo I have totally made before.)

[@TristanBomber]

100 square metres and 100m² are literally the exact same thing. They are pronounced the same, mean the same thing, and are just two different ways of writing it.

[@sylviaodhner]

John, I never tire of hearing your zipper story =) And I know there are different kinds of mortification - the kind that's funny to other people, and the kind that's painful for everyone involved. When the first kind happens, I just think of all the joy that the experience is bringing to others.

[@caseyradhs2355]

Oh hey subtle not so subtle discussion on the hacking and the leaking of celebrity nudes and how those celebrities shouldn't have to censor private behaviors just because they're celebrities. At least I think that's what you were subtly not so subtly saying. Perhaps you were saying "well at least I'm not as mortified as Jennifer Lawrence and I posted my mistakes on purpose." Perhaps you were saying neither, but I suspect the first one.

[@caseyradhs2355]

Not that J Law made a mistake in taking photos of herself and having them on her phone. Real question: Were you more mortified about hectacre being heard by Bill Gates, or your underwear being seen by high schoolers?

[@john-alanpascoe5848]

I'll take answer number 1 please: fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com/post/31671211498/a-proposed-general-rule-about-pictures-of-naked-people

[@Dudeonwheels]

I was wondering if anybody else caught that. I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

[@lefishyfish]

Returning to this video 8 years later as a Comp 1 teacher. Story time. Today in a meeting with a student to discuss the first draft of their paper, I noticed "ha" in the middle of a quotation in what I thought to be a typo. The student responded that they had to look it up and that it was actually some unit of measurement. Immediately I knew that it had to be hectare, and surprised us both when I was right. So, John, because of your mortification and my resulting awareness of this word , I got to use "hectare" appropriately for the first and likely the last time in my life. 😂

[@darkritualpass]

PRE-ROLLS OMG!!! Discuss.

[@elwynbrooks]

Discussed in previous Vlogbrothers videos already :) Start with "The Future of Nerdfighteria", I believe

[@darkritualpass]

I know that I was just wondering what people thought now that it's actually in affect.

[@elwynbrooks]

Oh, I see! My bad; carry on then!

[@sptells]

Don't mind them at all. Mainly because I know exactly why they're there.

[@graceannegasperson4029]

I don't mind them at all. I can appreciate why they're there, so I just wander off for a bit if they're long ones.

[@awesomesheen]

John, your videos of always so thoughtful and I can always use the advice you give to make my life that much better and I can't thank you enough for that.

[@megang712]

Maybe it's an American thing, because I was actually taught "hectacre" in school as the measurement for 100 acres. Could be that my teacher was misinformed, but I definitely didn't know it wasn't a word. Then again, I don't have many dealings in acreage.

[@Fl0ep]

an acre is something different than an are. One hectare (100 ares) is ~2.5 acres, making 100 hectacres about 40 hectares. Atleast according to my calculations on my phone ;) If I'm wrong someone will let us know, I'm sure of that.

[@blockchaaain]

Fl0ep 100 acres is about 40 hectares. So, 1 "hectacre" for 40 hectares.

[@risxra]

My biology textbook says that a hectare is 2.5 acres. I'm not sure about the existence of the word hectacre, though.

[@khristinebutler6615]

just realized this was a thing now i have been vlogbroathonning for several hours and just wanted to say you guys make me happy. keep being awesome and thanks for sharing all your awesome with all of us.

[@BakerbrothertvOfficial]

John? I don't get it? Where are you? Are you in the 'outside'? I thought it was a myth!

[@jukalowe]

A timely and culturally relevant video about hectares. I applaud you for things said and things left unsaid.

[@hoodiesticks]

That's why you use the metric system :P

[@kimohearn3087]

Wonderful to see this topic. We all have experienced it and as a teacher, I too have experienced it publicly, maybe not KZbin publicly, but whole school publicly. At least you don't wear skirts (at least not to my knowledge). She says blocking out the memory of of being told her skirt was tucked into things it shouldn't be tucked into at our very formal Remembrance Day assembly with the whole school, parents and a few veterans in attendance. However our moments of mortification humanize us. I agree with Sarah that Nerdfighteira is very understanding, but so are most people when in the aftermath we take the time to acknowledge our humanness as you have done here. Well done.

[@roosvervelde3180]

mister Green! mister Green! I have got a question: I still don't really understand what the word 'mortification' means... I am not english, I'm dutch ;)

[@roosvervelde3180]

okay, thanks!

[@DemonsAteYourBabies]

Extreme and uncomfortable embarrassment.

[@tycho_m]

door doodsangst verlamd o.i.d?

[@kieke3]

Ik zou het vertalen als extreme schaamte. Dat je gewoon door de grond wil zakken zo erg!

[@Adderkleet]

Wow, this is hard in Dutch. "Mortify" would have "Vernederen" as the closest meaning, but it comes from the same word as "afsterven".

[@speedstacker51]

I was immensely entertained by this video. Especially the "....confidently with a whisper of doubt" part.

[@Tytoalba777]

0:35 I find it ironic that you have so many fields of expertise, but you don't know how to measure your fields of expertise.

[@ES50678]

I realize you and I are very different, I am an insignificant human typing in a room eating yogurt while you are an influential human who has helped change and shape thousands of lives around the world. To know that someone who has done as much as you can do something as insignificant as say a word wrong makes me feel better about myself. So thank you for messing up.

[@boonw]

You know John, I think you should be more embarrassed by the very one sided and biased representation of nuclear power in the last crash course video, than you should be of your mispronunciation of hectare.

[@john-alanpascoe5848]

The video that mentioned that no one has ever really come up with a *working* plan for permanently dealing with nuclear waste and that there have been a number of incidents and accidents that have caused the public in general to be fearful of nuclear power? Those are facts. Now you can argue that there are technological solutions to deal with nuclear waste, and that the fear of nuclear power is irrational. However, then you're discussing the pros and cons of using nuclear power in future, whereas crash course was discussing the historical reasons behind nuclear power currently only supplying a small fraction of the world's energy need.

[@vlogbrothers]

I mean, to be fair, Stan hosted that video and Raoul wrote it, so can't you get mad at one of them? :)

[@boonw]

Well, that is true. I did have the assumption that John and Hank had at least some input into it. I guess I will just go to the crash course page to complain.

[@culwin]

boonw You should complain to a wall because there's nothing wrong with the video.

[@richielomas9564]

***** you're like the president, John. It takes to much time and effort to look into where actual responsibility lies, but you're the guy on the computer screen! :)

[@mrburns1436]

You brought up an interesting point about the necessity of a separation between your public self and your private self. After watching The Truman Show when I was very young, it made quite an impression on me and the safety of "privacy" became a thing of the past. I knew it was ridiculous and even narcissistic to fell like I was constantly in the presence of a phantom audience, it was years before I could force myself to be goofy in my own room with the door shut. But even in those times I had the solace of being pretty sure I was fooling myself. I couldn't imagine actually trying to live authentically when I knew any private moment could become public at a hacker's whim.

[@AliRezaTIME2]

I recently made a parody trailer for The Fault in Our Stars, check it out because it's hilarious!

[@AliRezaTIME2]

and thanks :D

[@van0202]

I lol'ed at the Divergent reference XD

[@van0202]

Could you make one for The Hunger Games?

[@HonestlyHonor]

I love the way he managed to talk about the iCloud hack without making an entire video and bringing more attention to an already horrible breach of privacy. Props to you, John(:

[@SamiBennett]

John, you are wonderful! You make a great point that we are different in private and public spheres and that's not something people talk about much. Great video--thanks for making me laugh, and for the comfort at knowing I'm not the only one who gets utterly mortified by things I do

[@GarethField]

SLANT RHYMES, THANK YOU! I was in first or second or third grade, whatever, and my teacher told me I was wrong, and that cherry and marry did not rhyme, and I had just forgotten the name of the principle I had learned and was so proud of, and was pushed away from creative writing. A related story, twenty years later, I wrote a story at university and used something similar to something Kurt Vonnegut wrote in his matter-of-fact way of fabricating horror (I learned later), and my professor returned the paper with just the word "Vonnegut" on it. I had never read Kurt Vonnegut. On a more positive note, in junior year of high school, my English class sang Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody every day at the beginning of class, and none of us will ever forget it.

[@TheBuddsO]

I'm sick and this video made me laugh so much. Totally brightened my day :) I've missed these vlogs where you or Hank just sit and talk to a camera, it reminds me why I love vlogbrothers so much :) (Not that theres anything wrong with your more educational videos, I love those too)

[@LordMarcus]

It is my sincere hope that your kids, John, and that all kids of the next generation find a much better place than the Tumblrs and Facebooks and other social media of today, that they may make it theirs and that old farts like us will either consign ourselves to forever reaching for relevancy or contenting ourselves with the dust.

[@mlemleh]

Admitting when you're wrong and publicly acknowledging it is crazy scary. Good on you John.

[@MsAbilityMC]

Thanks a lot, John, your stories of mortification made me realize that what I assumed to be mortifying situations have absolutely NOTHING on what you've come to experience as mortifying as an adult. Makes me excited for the future, yay! Maybe I should just try to avoid public exposure by all means, because I'm mortified very easily...

[@mycharliequinn]

I feel this may have been a very clever way to discuss how it would feel to have your privacy violated without bringing any attention to the violation of privacy itself and I dig it I'll remember to reproduce this method for future things.

[@Ikine557]

Wow. THAT was classy. I love it when you two indirectly discuss current events.

[@MariannesStudio]

One of my favourite vlogbrothers video yet... Highly relatable, and profound! x

[@pitohi11]

I like they way you obliquely referred to a certain current event without explicitly describing it, thereby not spreading it around even more. Well done.

[@nadiact-ie5hy]

You did talk about it in a video before, but it's always highly entertaining to hear your stories, John.

[@wwickeddogg]

John, this was my favorite video of yours in years.

[@TzarinaMystra]

John, after having a day where I discovered I was the cause of a major and rather expensive screw up at work, I really appreciated that someone else in the world was feeling mortification today.

[@TheCaphits]

I love these glimpses into what will be said in John's next book.

[@pieces_of_jade]

"He said confidently, feeling a whisper of doubt". Best.

[@jonahnikouyeh2757]

Who knew slant rhyme was a thing?! I learn so much from these videos!

[@lenorkhide2873]

We love you John. You can talk about all the heck takers you want. I love the story about the book signing.

[@TeresaMcD]

As always, what I love about you is your honesty. Not like honesty where you tell us how many kids you have and don't lie, honestly like telling us you mess up and then give us examples. You are even cooler because of your inability to accept your lack of cool. I mean that in the nicest way possible *she said, feel dread and doubt*.