Mother-In-Law Is Trying To Control What I Wear At My Wedding r/Relationships

[@TheArnaa]

MIL : your long held dream of wearing a kilt in your mother’s tartan to your wedding is not happening because matching with the colours I’ve chosen is more important. Also MIL: dissolves into tears when her long held dream of paying for her child’s wedding might not happen. MIL has main character syndrome where the wedding is all about her.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: So, she dumped him at the airport (sorry, "took a break"), blocked him, went off and did whatever, and expects to come back as if nothing happened? Yeah, nope.

[@pippo17173]

The post screams first relationship as op was very close to being a doormat but glad he got out of that soon as possible. Also just saying she cheated because you can't tell me she drops that bomb before a trip to europ where its just a place to get hook ups it seems.

[@jrytacct]

Yup, she's for the streets. Just get out of there.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Some people are really are beyond entitled and delusional.

[@lilolmecj]

I kind of miss the days when it was obvious what the rules are. Twenty years ago such behavior would be completely obvious ending of a relationship. Today we pretend everything goes. It doesn’t, and she was a fool to believe her “coven”. Actually that paper truly made me lol.

[@kristinmartin2899]

I’m so confused by this story not going to lie. So she’s come back expecting him to take her back. Then blamed it on her friends saying that the reason she did it was because they said he would get insecure which he didn’t. So she blocked him? Did I miss something?

[@joeschmo622]

_"Wedding's off. Kbye."_ Dealing with The MIL is one thing, but when The Fiancee joins her and starts berating you, that's it, game over, man, game over.

[@clarissagafoor5222]

Fortunately things worked out really well.

[@claireskies2428]

My mom is a poisoner. Sometimes weddings are a hostage negotiation.

[@heffa3821]

ABSOLUTELY!!! wouldn't take that mess that is a whole relationship killer!

[@joeschmo622]

@@clarissagafoor5222 I wouldn't cheer too hard. She *still* called him a diick when he wasn't going to budge. That's not a win.

[@PS1DemoDisk]

@@thecursed01that's not what she said though, she said she didn't like the fact the groomsmen would be wearing tuxedos and the groom would wear a kilt. She had no issue with the kilt, just the lack of consistency, and her mother used this to try and get the groom to not wear it. That's why they changed the groomsmen outfits to also have kilts. Did you even listen to the story?

[@katbryers667]

My groom and groomsmen all wore kilts. There has never been a bad looking man in a kilt =^_^=

[@Wulfyr]

My Mum (RIP) was Scottish and was a McKenzie. I have a kilt in her Clan's tartan.

[@Gumbier_Than]

Sounds awesome! I fail to understand any issue with wearing a kilt on one's wedding day. No different from those who wear a kimono, a dashiki, or a Yakima on their wedding day to honor customs. No doubt you all looked swinging! 😊

[@Trijem]

😊 If I(m55) had a kilt in my family's (King) colors I'd have worn it! MIL-zilla be damned!

[@kieramaccourt8717]

My DH wore a kilt on our wedding day. We like to joke that his "dress" cost more than mine. Those formal kits are gorgeous...but expensive!

[@AngelaVEdwards]

The King of England wears kilts. I’m sure any man would look great in a kilt.

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 1 - I find it satisfying that all the "reconsider marrying her!" comments leads to a good talk that reveals she is not the problem. Maybe quite a few stories the bride _is_ the problem, but ones where things come out with the bride not being the issue? OP has a good one and great they worked out issues.

[@Swnsasy]

I heard the first story but second story, WTF?! Going to Europe for 6wks so let's take a break and she thought she was just going to pop back up and be like, HONEY I HOME!! The freaking audacity of her, wow...

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@ScooterBond1970]

"And incidently, it seems pretty clear to me that you WERE on a break!"

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - Oh, that lying, cheating B is going to go full-on stalker on OP. He needs to do some preemptive reporting to his work, his building security/manager and the police. Do not go meet her (as he apparently did once - referring to the 20 minute bathroom trip to consult with the coven, LOL!) again and just let her stew in her own idiocy. Sounds like a nice trip to a single's resort or just a nice tropical location is in order. Even better, a cruise with lots of ports to stop at.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@merrick1588]

Buddy got married years ago and wore his family tartan but had to rent it. The group of us thought this unfair and schemed and on the wedding day at the reception during the speeches, the Best man informed him that since His wife got to keep her dress some of us felt it only fair he keep his. One by one we were all asked to stand and it became the only time I saw that man cry.

[@heffa3821]

y'all awesome!

[@clarissagafoor5222]

❤

[@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382]

God bless friends like this.

[@faeb.9618]

wait my reading comprehension is ass, he wanted to wear the family tartan but he had to rent it out or rent a different one? sorry i'm an idiot and 2am is not an ideal reading time, still sounds like a very lovely gesture!

[@heffa3821]

@@faeb.9618 (lmao i had to edit bc that no idiot sounds insulting) It's ok!!! To me, it sounds like he wasn't as financially well off as his fiance and they all chipped in and made it so he could keep it ^^ by paying for it together for him as a present!

[@jasminedavis3030]

Story 2: My mom watched this with me and just said “this is what happens when you let others backseat drive your relationship”. I asked her if she knew of something similar story, she apparently knows several old high school gal pals of hers who let their “Friends” talk them out of amazing relationships. One girl, it apparently took her THREE whole ass divorces and nearly getting her kids taken away from her before she finally opened her eyes to how toxic her friends truly were, but my mom also admitted that girl was also a people-pleaser who was scared of being alone.

[@pippo17173]

Ya a friend like cult is the worst fate you can suffer after high school.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 2: "Seems her college sisters told her I would be insecure and fight about something I couldn't hope to prove. So when I didn't she didn't know what to do." Did those college sisters convince the ex to cheat and thought that OP would fight with her to try and prove it, if so then that would explain OP being told they're going on break immediately after dropping her off at the airport. ETA: According to OP's comments, she waited until she was boarding to tell him they're taking a break.

[@andresibarra3473]

I found it replay funny that her friends told her that if she break up I mean ask for a break and went to cheat he would be focused on the fact that she cheated which he could not prove and even if he did she could say “we were on a breeaaaaaak” which would make her win the argument and she could force him to let it go so went he said he did not care and wanted to talk about the break she was like “oh shit” and did not know what to do like she had this planed out like it was a shower argument or that he was supposed to be followings a script😂

[@pippo17173]

I will say op should of straight up ended this relationship the moment he heard how close knit this college brand of witches are. This goes for women dating a guy who has a tight knit of frat boys as well. Seroulsy don't bother with these people because at the end, your just another fling they can use.

[@andresibarra3473]

@@pippo17173 I get what you are saying,my cousin told me that sororities and fraternities are almost cults with the whole you gotta humiliate yourself for maybe having a chance to humiliate someone in the future and being buddies with people you could recent ,I think there is also a fee or something you have to be pay

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@novabrilliant4510]

The first story was aggravating! My oldest son is getting married in October and I couldn't imagine forcing any opinions into their wedding. It's not my day. If they want my help, they'll ask. My soon to be DIL is Goth and I'm thinking about getting her something special (jewelry) but want to see her dress first. I just don't understand women who feel the need to crowbar their way into the lives of their grown children and throw demands at them. I'm going to get some bourbon. Hope everyone is having a relaxing evening.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: OP sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders - focused on the most important moment, didn’t let himself get distracted. Didn’t fall into being eaten up over what she did on vacation. Just took the *“break”* for what it was, a break-up, and closed the door firmly in her face when she tried to come back into his life. Why she’s surprised that he’s sticking with ending the relationship, Idk man. If my partner did that to me at the airport, I wouldn’t have tried to call them NEARLY as much as OP did. I’d have given it a day or two, then sent them a VERY LONG text message AND email. Then cancelled everything, told all the friends and family what happened, blocked the ex, and gotten VERY VERY drunk for a couple weekends. I’d also probably have been tempted to move out of the apartment I was in. Because I bet you the ex is gonna show up with her college friends and make a scene.

[@zard5930]

Yeah, it sounds like his Ex will continue to persist for some time, but his decision was the right one.

[@mbyerly9680]

That's one of the advantages of places like Reddit. Others can give advice from experience. They knew she expected him to lay into her for sleeping around so she was going to claim innocence so he went with the tactic of saying her calling it off and blocking his calls was what she did wrong. She can't deny that because that's exactly what happened, and he has the texts to prove it.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@pippo17173]

@@zard5930 She is very upset op didn't turn out to be a doormat simp that will pay her life to come. She is dealing what I call a commen sense human bien.

[@walle5667]

​@@mbyerly9680Yeah, that was some amazing advice. There would have been endless circle discussions about what she did or didn't do on that trip and she could have eventually ground him down. But focussing on the "break" out of the blue and being blocked for no reason was some smart decision. There was no way she could circle talk her way out of that. We all know what she did on that trip. But EVEN IF she was faithful and everything, even IF. Her dumping and blocking him was enough for a permanent break-up. You don't do that to your partner.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

Story 2: girlie wanted to literally screw around for 6 weeks before being serious. Garuntee if he takes her back in a year or so she will be demanding an open marriage

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yea, and if he had decided to marry her, wait to have sex with her for 3 months to make sure she didn't bring back a souvenir she's gonna have the rest of her life!

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@pippo17173]

She was so hoping she bagged a simp. Too bad for her, op's spine grew 10 times that day. Also her parents sucks too. They know exactly the kind of daughter they raise and tries to fix it when it shows how much they are bad parents.

[@Musiyca]

What do people mean "before being serious"? Couple in the story was engaged for 3 years already, dating for a bit longer too. That is serious to me. Especially with tons of people nowadays opting out of getting legally married, they just are a couple living their lives together with kids and without a papre - does that make their relationship not serious? I really fail to understand the logic of bachelor/bachelorett parties being "the last wild night before tying the knot" as if they weren't in a committed relationship already.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

@@Musiyca with you 100% if someone isn't serious about a relationship then why are they in it to begin with.

[@Bonaduece]

When I was a kid, some family friends were building themselves a new house. But they'd allowed their neighbor to drive across the part of their property they wanted to put the house on as a shortcut to his place for years, so they gave him a heads up that would be stopping. He took them to court, claiming the path he took was an easement. The court agreed with him, because of how long he'd been allowed to do it. So not only did our family friends have to pick another spot to put their house, they had to maintain their neighbor's shortcut as a driveway. Lesson learned: never let your neighbors use any part of your property for any reason, or you might find it ain't really yours anymore.

[@nurselinda2155]

This happened to a friend of mine as well.

[@francinetitherington4060]

That's called Hostile Possession and it's legal when someone lets another use their property , like in the story, for 10 years WITHOUT telling them and doccumenting that they acknowledge that it's your property. That family screwed themselves. Though, leagally, they should NOT have to make improvements for that person's use. Was that part actually part of the court order? If so, APPEAL!!!! Should cost less than improvements years of maintenance.

[@cathiesindall6721]

BIL wore a kilt …. no issues. That is indeed a hill to die on

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: CONGRATULATIONS on your new-found freedom. You were dumped when you took her to the airport, and she needs to know that relationships are 50-50, not on again - off again when SHE decides when it is on or off.

[@jgw5491]

True. She could only decide when it's "off", which she did. If it was going to be "on" again, it has to be "on" for both people. He has decided that it is still off and will continue to be.

[@LadyQuotes]

Story 1: Wearing a kilt is unorthodox - Me: That's adorable, in Nova Scotia kilts are often seen at weddings, one was worn at mine lol I've been to weddings where the groom & all the groomsmen wore kilts. Like, I wouldn't even question it lol

[@loiracitr]

Seriously, given the title I expected something really over the top but a kilt...?! A kilt is absolutely normal and more than respectful

[@mindyschocolate]

Kilts are awesome. This wedding isn’t about MIL. He’s asking for one thing. She can kick rocks.

[@wessexdruid7598]

The wedding _shouldn't_ be - but she's trying to make it so.

[@faeriefire78]

#1: Dude's a prop in his own wedding. Just put a mannequin in his place and be done with it! Hopefully the fiancee straightens up after this. Also, men in kilts...rawr! #2 The audacity of this chick! LMAO, she's not even slick about it and she expected everything to go back to the way it was before this stunt? What an idiot. She played herself. She and her family need to at least have the decency to leave OP alone now. She's done enough. #3 That was wild. More entitled people stories! I've missed these. 😆

[@poetryqn]

Story 3: "Oh, sorry. I thought you were your mother." I spit up my tea laughing!

[@hirohiroarikawa6806]

Story 2: so glad she showed her true colors and he broke thinks off, she is damn disgusting to do this just so she can get the opportunity to cheat, also I’d tell everyone why there is no wedding

[@loiracitr]

I once read an interview to a wedding planner who said she never really had many issues with "bridezillas", but the mothers of the bride were a nightmare more often than not

[@crowmisfits]

Last story - I can explain both sides of this because I'm familiar with how this stuff works. The guy in the story asking to buy the property for $1 was actually asking for an easement agreement and there's usually more to it than what the OP said about it in the story. The reason why easement agreements are a thing is because often neighbors will have these kinds of agreements like in this story. One neighbor gives another neighbor permission to use part of their property for an ongoing, extended period of time that would go on indefinitely. An easement agreement is basically a legal document that confirms this agreement and makes it official. In this case it *sounds* like (by OP's version) the neighbors wanted to buy the property for $1 so that they could guarantee to whoever bought the property later on that they would be able to keep the big driveway and use that as a selling feature. If they didn't then their house wouldn't be worth as much as they wanted to sell it for. SO yes Mark you might be right with what you said at the end. The things is there is a different type of easement agreement and maybe that is what they wanted and OP misunderstood. The other kind is that the neighbors would out an easement agreement in place that meant that as long as the driveway was there, it was allowed to be there but as soon as the driveway had to be replaced or of it got removed for any reason then the easement would be void and the property would go back to OP's mother. That would make me think they were perhaps operating in better faith than the first option. Signing any easement would not be a good idea for the OP's mom because she wanted to reserve the right to remove the driveway that was on her land/build on that land in the future and the easement would strip her of those rights. Agreeing to it would be doing the neighbors a favor. If the neighbors really wanted to make it work they should have offered fair compensation to OP's mom to buy the land from her.

[@BruinPhD2009]

In 2016, I spent a month in Scotland for work and got to know far more about the country. I’m still not sold on bagpipes, but the history and tradition associated with the different tartan patterns and kilts is something for which I gained a deep respect. I’m still considering ordering a kilt in the US Army pattern (I was in the Army at the time); I’ve got the legs for it. 😂 That disrespect MIL is showing towards that greater tradition, much less the connection to OP’s mother is beyond the pale. I’m glad they managed to set this situation straight, but the happy couple is going to have to fight MIL for as long as they’re married. I hope they’re got the strength for the battles to come.

[@joeschmo622]

The Neighbor probably was trying to go for adverse possession and lay claim to that part of the property as now 'his", but had to move before it'd kick in, so wanted to "buy" it for pocket-change.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

A freaking dollar! Tell him to go somewhere else to see if he could purchase "ANY" property for $1!!

[@Tammohawk1]

I have one neighbor whose home is far enough away that I can safely say that I don't have any neighbors. We don't see or hear each other. With the exception of the warmer months when their kids are out playing and I'm out gardening. It's perfect.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Those are the best kind of neighbors!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Had to replay story 2. Why TF do you need to take a 6 week break from your relationship. She definitely f**ked other people, no kosher reason. Last story they're racist in addition to being entitled and insufferable

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@loganjoh1]

She was trying to cheat and then when she got back he couldn’t be mad since they “were on a break” but failed to realize telling your fiancé you decided you were taking a break from your relationship right before brooding a flight to Europe for 6 weeks is grounds to break up permanently. She didn’t learn that much in college by the looks of it because she and her “friends” are morons

[@YellaBellaReno]

Story 2: Where do some of these people even store that level of audacity?!? You ask your partner to take you to the airport, break up with him once you get there, block him, and expect everything to go back to normal when you return? Delusional. Absolutely delulu.

[@user-blob]

S2 was great. I love when people take no shit. Good for him.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: NTA This is YOUR wedding, NOT HERS; you wear what you and your wife want, and if she does not like it, she does not want to attend. For Pete's sake, even King Charles III wears a kilt on certain occasions.

[@smoothsketch]

If HE chose her wedding dress for her, SHE'd be upset. He should wear what he wants, it's his day.

[@clarissagafoor5222]

You'll see later on all ends well!

[@wessexdruid7598]

@@smoothsketch Sounds like MIL tried that as well.

[@D-M-K-1-2]

"LOOK WHAT I GOT UNDER ME KILT!"

[@worldissuesmatter1643]

A MacDonald has a quarter pounder under his kilt.

[@clarissagafoor5222]

That's the most Scottish thing here😂😅

[@LadySingingWolf]

We had a bit of neighbor drama a few years ago when we were preparing to put a house on our vacation property. Neighbor was throwing a bit of a hissy fit because of some of the work that was being done and tried claiming that it was encroching on their property. It got so bad we finally had a surveyor come out and find out where the property lines really were. and mark them. Turned out not only was none of our work on their land, but some of the work they did over the years was on OURS, including half their propane tank. We had known that the one corner of their home was close to the line, but we didn't realize just how close until the survey. Where their house sits though isn't their fault, they bought it like that. Needless to say, after seeing the survey markers they got VERY quiet and didn't bother us again about it.

[@themike314v2]

If MIL and fiance want a say in what OP wears at the wedding, then he gets a say in what they wear. Make one of them wear the kilt.

[@mbyerly9680]

The MIL can wear a tartan sack over her head.

[@johneddiecox741]

Getting married next month, and neither my fiancé or I are wearing traditional clothing for our wedding. We both agreed on polo shirts, and khakis: blew for me and my groomsmen, green for her and her bridesmaids. She hates dresses, and I think I would rather tap dance on a pile of scorpions before wearing a tuxedo. Couple of people have made comments, but at the end of the day, everyone has respected our decisions. We’re not decorating the church or anything like that, we’re just doing something simple because that’s what we prefer. Heck, we’re not even doing a wedding cake and instead we’re having Dutch apple pie. It’s our wedding, and it should be about what we want not what other people say we should have.

[@johneddiecox741]

@@LostSoulchild89 thank you.

[@SingingMermaid4]

Story 2: Wow. I have no words. Just wow

[@michaellott5007]

Story 2: Blocked is blocked. Whatever keep her on blocked, she gets the ghost. Wouldn't even be bothered with her, she deserves NO! closure, no meetings for discussion. Have fun, nice life...hope you win.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - OP may still be looking at things through rose-colored glasses. He needs to be on a sharp look out for this behavior again from his bride because I don't think she is a nice as he thinks she is. Throwing her mom under the bus was the easy way to get what she wanted and I'm betting even money she tries something else. And this OP will be back at some point lamenting about that.

[@thelaughtophyena6916]

Story 2: smart move talking about getting dumped at the airport and ghosted rather than the unknown details of the trip.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Communication comes to the rescue! I think people have become so cynical because of the toxic stories on Reddit that the immediate response is, "Break up! Run! Red flags!" The mature thing to do is sit down and have a conversation, and if that doesn't go well or things don't get resolved, then think about whether you want to stay in the relationship.

[@squidward6187]

I will never understand why people want weddings. They seem like nightmares to me. Months of planning and fighting and god knows what drama and enormous amounts of money for ONE day. One bloody day. No thank you. You couldn't pay me to have a grand wedding.

[@carlrood4457]

"insecurity" is the cheatrer's go to attack. It's complete BS. There's nothing insecure about having and enforcing boundaries. In fact, knowing what you want/need and being willing to walk away when boundaries are stomped is the definition of security. Insecure people hang around in unhappy situations because to them not being alone is more important than self respect.

[@tree1383]

Our son got married in a Great Kilt of our family's clan colors. He looked great

[@AndyyWithAY]

50/50 is stupid unless both people make comparable income. And how is she doing 50/50 if it's mummy's purse and mummy's ridiculous rules? OP chose wrong. He needs to run. This is a bandaid on a gaping wound. And she's gonna want to limit their life to be within HER means. Abject disaster

[@ineedhoez]

That part!!! She wants 50/50 but she is not even paying for it😂😂😂

[@carlrood4457]

"Fair" is hard to define. If there was no romantic relationship, would you accept 50% ownership of something after investing 75% of the money while all other effort is 50/50?

[@MizTameRumors]

There is only one reason to go on a break for 6 weeks - she was sleeping with other guys.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

2nd story: Oh, now that is insulting coven of witches... witches have much more dignity than that, lol.

[@j.graham8068]

Men in kilts at a wedding? Oh hell yes!

[@clairebear-96]

“f*** you! Oh I’m so sorry, I thought you were your mother” made me snort lmfao

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - NTA, at all. She was never going to make a good wife if she thought that what she did was acceptable at all. She needs to accept she ruined and ended her relationship, and that nothing she does will get her life back the way she expected it to be. Sucks to suck.

[@historictruecrime5119]

One of my friends got married in his family killed, and all his groomsmen wore a killed, but their jackets were formal tuxedos, and they look so handsome. I believe their ties were also the material of the kilt, so it tied in nicely.

[@EnDB]

... and now we see why the sons kept her away from their weddings.

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Last story: "What's your name?" "What?" "What is your name?" "Ezekiel"

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Story 3: In the US, you could eventually use the expanded driveway to claim land as belonging to you.

[@amethystanne4586]

If my fiancé wanted to wear his family’s kilt, the wedding colors would coordinate with the colors of the tartan. And would wear a sash of the same tartan.

[@jasonlambert109]

Bucket Lady part 2 please! Those posts are still being updated and she is staying crazy lol

[@ScooterBond1970]

Story 2 reminds me of the one where the wife demanded hubby allow her a free one night stand then, when she did it anyway and he left her, thought she could just say "we're not getting a divorce" as if that settled it.

[@oywiththewaywardtardis]

When my husband and I were planning our wedding (and eventual elopement, lol) he didn't have many preferences about things. Which meant that the things he did express a preference on immediately became written in stone for me. I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure that he got to wear that purple shirt, even though it took me a few weeks to wrap my brain around how it could work without clashing with my navy dress (the answer was a tie with both colors. It worked great!) If your attitude, or your partner's attitude, is anythjng other than this, maybe you need to slow down and communicate more to be sure you're on the same page, and that that page is the right page for both of you.

[@yvonnepeltier9815]

1st story: they sell "Kilt Inspector" buttons at our local yearly Renaissance Festival

[@peggyseabrun4829]

Coven if witches had me rolling

[@jessereyna6662]

Story 2: I don’t care how much I love someone. Breaking up at the airport so no conversation could be had, is just as bad as cheating to me. Even if she never saw anyone or had zero contact with another man. I could never believe her. The break up is one thing, it’s the trust she has broken and put doubt in his mind.

[@hiro4344]

Story 1. Kilts are hardly unusual for a wedding. I've been to at least two weddings where the groom and groomsmen wore kilts in respect to the groom's heritage. And I'm practically a shut in with few friends who rarely gets involved in such things so the fact I've seen it twice shows it's not a strange rarity.

[@totallynotalpharius2283]

I’ve been to a fiends wedding where not only were their kilts , the brides dad drunkenly played bagpipes . I don’t remember that much about it 10/10 great wedding

[@brandyb2931]

People on reddit first go to in any relationship issue is "DUMP THEM!" This was a totally fixable issue.

[@cmsxcb]

When your idea of a 50/50 split involves you mooching off your parents to cover the short-fall, then you've not got your head on straight.

[@amilikestea433]

I kind of don't get G's mindset about paying for the wedding. "I'm a strong independent wedding so I can't let my fiance pay for our wedding but I'm ok with my mom doing it."

[@RevWarRev]

Story 1: The issue is deeper than whether OP wears a kilt. About control. Paying or not it isn't MiL's wedding. Better all around MiLzilla is out of the planning. Kilts are AWESOME.

[@helianabanes4875]

Her continued advances towards OP, and the fact that she really thinks they will get back together, are even MORE of a slap in the face. She must believe that OP, has ZERO self respect and/or esteem, and she is happy for that. She thinks the power tips her way, and abuses him, because of it, instead of trying to make him feel loved, and secured, and make sure no one in the relationship feels like they have less power, or their needs, hold less weight. OP'S ex, is disgusting!

[@GinnieMac-ui8jv]

Wear the kilt! It's all about your heritage.

[@franciebelcher4594]

S2. That was straight up harassment! Did OP or mom ever call the police? Bad neighbors are the worst

[@JustFilmAlready]

The “fuck you” part killed me 😂😂

[@marleymorningstar3671]

Breaks are always BS. Either break up or don't. Taking some time away while still working on things, getting some space and clarity is one thing. A break, no contact, doing whatever, and then coming back like you didn't just step out on the relationship is narcissistic behavior.

[@rogrove6325]

Story 2 was wild! Some times we get a story with someone that acts so far out of human behavior, I can't help but wonder if they're an alien or something. "Okay fiance of 3 years, our relationship is on a break. Okay there's my flight, gotta go!" "I--" "SEE YOU ON THURSDAY!" "No." *Surprise pikachu*

[@Windxchild]

Story 1: No, the least MIL can do, is give you the one thing that is sentimental to you on your own wedding, and let you wear a kilt. What is so important about the wedding colours she choose anyway? And why does she get to choose at all? She wants to help plan, sure. But planning is something else than choosing how the wedding will look. This should be something personal to the bride and groom. You want to plan, MIL? Sure, here are the flowers we want, you go order them. This is the band we want, go check if they are available. That is what planning is about.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2: She dumped him. He didn't have a choice but to respect her wishes. Now he doesn't wish to be un-dumped, and she has no choice but to respect HIS wishes. Freedom of choice does not mean freedom from consequences. Step 1) Unblock her but mute her. Step 2) Tell her if she doesn't quit stalking you, you're going to get a restraining order. Step 3) Use any text receipts needed as evidence to follow through if she doesn't stop. Step 4) Profit!

[@michaellott5007]

Story 1: NTA. She's paying "most". Wearing the kilt is the part that NOT covered. Fiancé taking mother's side...then they can have a separate wedding. People need to remember who's getting married.

[@Ms_Pumppkin]

From all episodes, I saw the part I like the most are Marks thoughts on those stories.

[@jackwatt8988]

1: "it's always been her dream to plan G's wedding" - That's insane. She should want to make herself useful, she shouldn't want to impose her vision for the wedding on the bride/groom. I would be telling her "I'm not interested in your views on what I wear, all I care about is what my wife-to-be wants and what I want. Please don't mention it again, if G has an issue she can talk to me about it, but I don't want to talk to you about it."

[@debaffleck443]

The wearing of a kilt is VERY traditiinal !! Ask most Scots and those of Scot descent ... but this is his chance to escape this horrid family who ignore your own heritage and boundaries

[@DerekScottBland]

I never understand these wedding planning catastrophes. The most my wife and I allowed our mothers to do was request certain guests, something I regret to this day (I didn't find out until after the wedding that her mother threatened not to show up if my wife's bio father was there). I planned everything else, bringing it to my wife for her final approval. Went off without a hitch. Tell family to stay the fuck out unless they're specifically invited in, and only with very strict boundaries that are absolutely enforced.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 2: the fuck did she think was going to happen? Did she really think OP was that much of a doormat that he definitely wouldn’t leave her when she made a decision to go on a break when she left for 6 weeks? She isn’t just a clown she’s the entire circus.

[@MCBRUCE76]

S1: Never ever allow anyone to take over the task of your wedding planning, until and unless you know and trust the person taking over likes and loves both of you. Because 90% of the time it never ends well. Once you cave in to the demands of your in-laws, then you must know that you have opened the gates to let them walk all over you. I don't think that fiancée was doing anything wrong in this story. People asking OP not to marry her was idiotic. I understand their POV, but you can't punish your spouse for their parents mistakes. This was purely MIL problem, nothing else and no one else. No wonder she did not have the chance to involve in her other kid's wedding planning. Good for OP standing up for himself and his partner. Always talk to your partner and set boundaries appropriately. Communication is the key for a good marriage.

[@jamiebouabboud2810]

Story 1: Wear the kilt the traditional way and tell your wife to wear shoes with mirrors on them.

[@littleoak5]

Story 1: I am the seventh generation born on American soil, we come from Ireland. That mother in law is insanely disrespectful and severely uncultured, and controlling.

[@joshguerrero8760]

1. I want to know how the MIL reacted to the news of her no longer being part of the wedding planning.

[@Grace_x68]

S1 I hope OP think long and hard about going forward with marriage to a woman who called him a Richard when he disagreed with her. The red flags are still flying high here for me.

[@kengeerts1406]

When it comes to paying our fair share, me and my wife both put roughly 65% of our paychecks into our joint, then keep the rest in our personal. The joint pays for all joint expenses and builds up a savings. While we each have our own discretionary spending😊

[@navi2710]

Story 2 - OP should come over to Europe for 6 weeks. There are plenty of honest and loyal girls in Europe.

[@jessilyngray1223]

I'm currently fighting with three doors down over my assigned parking spot. Each house has two spots one in front of our houses and one assisted by a number in the middle of the parking lot. My husband is deployed so we only have one car so three doors down has been parking in my number spot. Well I may not use it but my kids babysitter does. I've left notes, I've talked to the office, I've talked to the rent a cop that patrols the parking lots and he still keeps parking. The office had him stickered and he's been towed twice but still parking in my spot. It's annoying

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

If my husband wanted to wear a kilt to our wedding I would be so turned on by that!! They are incredibly meaningful and they make them look very strapping!

[@hm5468]

Wait a fucking second, so the bride is wearing what she wants but she has the gallbladder to tell her husband that he’s an asshole for being stuck on what he’s wearing?! Wow.

[@heatherdickau5335]

So the bride wanted to f around and found out!

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 2: Sounds like what happens a lot of the time, a girl gets sucked up by the 'group thought' & cheats, then is unable to accept that her relationship is over. I remember _distinctly_ 2 different posts where the Wife/Girlfriend decides to have sex with a male associate, after being 'convinced/pressured' to open the relationship, and it backfires spectacularly. And you'll probably find many others like them. Even if she was merely pressured by her girlfriends to 'take a break, then if anything does happen, it's not cheating' and didn't do anything, she was still considering cheating on him. She still made a unilateral decision regarding the relationship, she has no right to cry that OP didn't put out the fire she made to burn down the relationship. OP needs to make a cease and desist to her to stop harassment, step after that is restraining order.

[@kdhebskh]

Story 2: break for 6 weeks so can hv affair for 6 weeks without being accused of cheating as it happen during break.

[@taetannim3581]

I bet I can guess why MIL wasn't allowed to plan her other kids weddings lol. Wear your kilt, brother, don't let these harpies destroy your principles!

[@merlinathrawes746]

Absolutely NTA! OP, your FMIL is allowed to plan literally EVERYTHING else about her daughter's wedding. YOU get to decide on what YOU wear. And given that your own mother cannot be present, wearing something that represents her side of the family to your wedding, no matter how unconventional it may be, is your right. Quite frankly, if your fiancé refuses to understand this (and I will assume she's being pressured by her mother, but still) I'd consider rethinking the relationship. UPDATE: I'm really glad this wasn't on the fiancé, which would have had horrible implications for the marriage. Thank goodness for FFIL cutting out the necessity for FMIL paying for anything. But you are now aware what lengths FMIL is willing to go to in order to get her way. Set strong boundaries NOW, but I suspect your next big fight will be over any future children you and your bride may have. Good luck and best wishes. Called off wedding story: Given what was said, no OP, you weren't wrong for calling it off. But I do wonder at the 3 year engagement. Have you been engaged that long or is that the time you've been together? But her telling you that she's taking a break AS she's leaving on an extended vacation doesn't sound good. It sounds like a way to cheat on you while she's gone without "officially" cheating on you. COMMENTS AND UPDATES: I will admit the POSSIBLITY that she didn't cheat on OP while on vacation, though blocking him doesn't make that look very good. I suspect the "brain trust" could have put the idea of OP accusing her of that in her head and the breakup and blocking was a result of that. If that's the case it was an extremely stupid idea if she had no intentions to cheat. But the whole affair smells all kinds of fishy. I hope OP has informed those he works for of the breakup and that his ex should no longer be allowed access to his place of work. And if he hasn't done so to change his locks just in case she has a key. Driveway story: Good grief. I would at least have considered hiring a surveyor to determine the amount of property they neighbors impinged on and then spoke to a realtor about the fair market value for that amount of the property and gone from there BEFORE erecting a fence. But if they had to sell for $500k UNDER ASKING, they had severely overpriced that house. UPDATE: So what happened to making his first million dollars and buying the house to make OP's mother's life miserable?

[@Zaners82123]

I wonder what would hapoen if she was told shebcouldnt wear the dress of her dreams to her own wedding

[@queencars802]

Everyone is so focused on that the fiance is just trying to make her mom happy and whatnot but I kinda think the fiance herself isn't a fan of the kilt idea. She was too quick to side with her mom and against OP. She may of listened to OP talk about the significance but at the time she probably didn't think about marriage between them yet

[@joshguerrero8760]

2. If I was OP I would make her tell any of her friend's BFs or husbands who and how many guys they slept with and any wrongdoings while they were on the trip. I guarantee that all of them would start calling her out and OP would find out how many guys she slept with.

[@astronautviolet153]

Amazing stories today❤

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: I fully believe that the fiancee planned on getting with other men during that trip (why else would she demand a "break" from OP and then block him??), but I'm concerned re: one of the commenters who said they would break up if their fiancee went on a trip at all. That's ridiculous. If you love and trust someone, they should be able to take a trip with friends without you. Obviously NOT to cheat on you, of course, but just going on a trip at all is not a bad thing.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: Even if she didn't break up with him to go around sleeping with guy(s) guilt free since it wouldn't be cheating (which I HIGHLY doubt) she doesn't get to come back like nothing happened. Even if, again best cast scenario, she didn't ditch him to get the last minute "fun time" with some people the relationship is now over, the trust would would 100% be gone for me, even if she didn't break up to do other people I can't say I'd trust someone who just, you know, ditches you and refuses to talk about it for SIX weeks.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, weddings are about the two people getting married. MIL either butts out or no wedding!