Boyfriends Mom Accusing Me Of "Trying To Replace Her" r/Relationships

[@Tiogair]

It’s so much easier to forgive someone when they admit their wrongdoing, and I’m glad the MIL made the right choice rather than doubling down

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Yep. Both the OP and the FMIL made the decision to place a good relationship over being right and they both won for it.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@Kimberly_Sparkles I agree with you. It might be due to me having read a few too many Just No MIL stories, but I honestly half-expected OP's mother in law to double down on her behavior. 😅 But I'm so happy this was not the case. 😊

[@Konachn4ever]

I absolutely DESPISE emotional incest Freaks, THERE ARE LINES A MOTHER ISN'T SUPPOSED TO CROSS WITH HER SON, your Son is your SON, he's not your property or possession, he's not your slave, you can't OWN people and he's certainly not your Husband or lover!😒

[@nekorei2023]

Yes

[@dizzysdoings]

First story, I'm a widow and an empty nester. I live in South Jersey. I have 2 children. My son moved to Florida years ago. He doesn't like winter. It was hard, but I never tried to make him feel bad about it. Last year, my daughter told me that her husband was looking into a job. They were very interested in him, and if he got it, they'd be moving to Germany. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut and the head at the same time. But I didn't react negatively to it. He got the job. They left the end of November. Admittedly, my daughter didn't want to leave. But not because she didn't want to go, but because I was in the hospital and was facing possible heart surgery. Well, my surgery was the 8th. Thank God, they didn't have to split me open, but were able to go in through the ribs. My daughter flew in from Germany after the surgery, but before I got out of the hospital to be there for me. My son drove up from Florida. Having your kids move out of the area doesn't mean you'll never see them again. If you have any kind of a relationship with them, they'll still be there for you.

[@kitarrah1422]

Any possibility you could move to Florida to be closer to your son? If they have kids, I know they would love to have you able to see them more often. I'm originally from SW Florida, and even though there are some downsides (heat and humidity, bugs, and some tropical storms/hurricanes), there are a lot of positives, too.

[@dizzysdoings]

@@kitarrah1422 no grandkids, and I can't handle the weather in Florida, it's too hot for me for too long. I have enough trouble with the summers here. I do plan on moving to Kentucky this year. With where I'll be living, I'll be about equal distance from my son and daughter should she move back to Jersey. It's the farthest north that I want to be, as well as the farthest south. The weather is better than what I have here, and I'll still get the 4 seasons.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I think that's what a lot of parents don't realize. Just because your children are leaving the nest doesn't mean you'll never see them again. Your children will always come back to you in some capacity. ❤ I think the reason(or at least one of the)reasons why some parents are afraid to let their children leave the nest is because they made taking care of their children and parenthood their identity and when their children leave the nest, they lose their identity. 😅

[@dizzysdoings]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly I've heard that as well.

[@alisongeorge3089]

You sound like such a great mom. I wish you all the best moving forward.

[@lc77713]

Story 2: OP has such a kind heart. He doesn’t even like the ex himself and isn’t even blood related to these children in anyway but he selflessly wants to take them in. I commend OP and his wife. God bless him and I pray the best for him and his family.

[@TH-hy9kr]

Loved the ending of that first story. It's terrific when people can use their words and behave reasonably. OPs MIL doesn't sound like a JustNoMIL, just a MIL who messed up a little. ETA: wow...two happy endings. OP and wife in 2nd story ❤❤❤

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. Thank goodness everything's right as rain now. 😊 I honestly expected this to be another Just No MIL story, but I'm so happy that wasn't the case here. 😊

[@lorifiedler13]

Hope they get Levi into therapy. He lost his dad and was put into foster care.

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

My MIL taught all her daughters in law the way to cook the favourite recipes, she was a lovely lady ❤

[@FanFicnic]

Yea! Just didn’t know how to get through those feelings. OP and her partner clearly taught her a little something about emotional intelligence. And it sounds like the mum is well on her way to realizing she’s gaining a daughter.

[@ashleighberryman9280]

So glad for the first story. At least she came around and realized her wrong doing. My in laws (all female) just didn’t want to let my husband go and ultimately tried to push me away and make me out to be the bad guy, never allowing me to apologize if I accidentally offended someone, assuming if something went wrong while I was around it MUST be my fault without ever wondering if someone else in the family did it. In the end they ended up pushing my husband away giving him and ultimatum. “It’s her or us! Don’t let our family break apart over some girl”. We were all over 30 and my husband and I had been together for 7 years at that point. They still blame me for taking my husband away, they had no idea I was actually the one keeping him from going no contact all those years we’d been married up until they went off the deep end.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I hope you know that your inlaws only have themselves to blame for your husband cutting ties with them. Your husband did right by defending you and I personally think he's better off without that toxicity in his life. And so are you. 😊

[@Russman67]

Mark. Two positive stories AND onion ninjas? Seriously? I was not ready for this. I'm not saying I mind it but dang! You out did yourself! 🤣

[@mbyerly9680]

Dang onion ninjas!

[@funkijote]

I came here to be miserable and pissed, what gives? 😅

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Any mom that loves her child would want their spouse to know how to make the meals that they loved growing up. It's hard for parents to let go when their kids grow up, but it's a relief to know that they're married to someone who loves them and wants them to eat their favorite food the way they like it prepared. ❤

[@MizTameRumors]

When I asked my MiL if she'd teach me her recipes, she popped an apron over my head and gave me a hug. Loves me cooking her recipes for her son and grandsons....And she's an old fashion Indian Matriarch who's eldest son married a skinny white catholic. Shoulda hated me.

[@ElleD308]

Keyword: eldest son... This one was an only child.

[@ettinakitten5047]

@@NotGettingWhatIPaidForKZbin WTF? Did you read a totally different story than everyone else?

[@xUsako]

story 1 is like i am watching one of those tiktok "boy moms" later on in her son's life..

[@michal31131]

My thoughts exactly!

[@alexlibby5087]

Story 1: I’m happy with the ending; people get emotional and make mistakes - particularly if they’ve been silencing feelings vs processing them. I could understand getting emotional if your only child just up and moved across seas, more so if it hasn’t been a goal your son’s mentioned before.

[@MotherKale-yj7fi]

I read the title as 'moms boyfriend claims I'm trying to replace her.' my mind went surprise Pikachu

[@amandab8433]

My mind went to "Ffs another Boy Mom 🙄". 😅

[@MotherKale-yj7fi]

@@amandab8433 that's where mine went after I read it three more times.

[@BoxOKittens]

Dang that ending got me emotional. Not many people are able or willing to step up for a child. I hope this little boy is able to live with them and in time become a part of the family. He's just lost his whole world, and I hope he gets to build a new one with these good people.

[@ettinakitten5047]

At least he's one got one constant in his life - his big sister.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my grandma passing away. It was the first time I lost someone that close to me. It was a little sad, but it really does get easier with time. This channel and this community helped so much. Much love, Waffle Gang ❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Much love to you Andy all the hugs 🤗🤗💜💜

[@jihan5432]

💜💜💜

[@Swnsasy]

Hey my beautiful bestie! I know how you feel. You know my story of losing my grandma on my birthday, meeting my husband the year later and marrying on the same. It's been 10yrs and I still miss her and talk to her from time to time when things get hard.. She was always the voice of reason and told me she was proud of me... Sending you tons of hugs my sister from another mister!! ❤❤😊

[@LadyLeomon]

This year will mark 23 years since my Nanna passed, she was the only grandparent I ever knew and I never felt a lack, the family fractured when she died, we’re all still in touch but no more Christmases at Nanna’s house or Sunday Dinners together … 23 years later and I still miss her every day. I’m sorry for your loss 🕊️🕊️🕊️

[@Swnsasy]

@@LadyLeomon That's why my family did. We are now spread all across the US and a few in the UK... It's hard but such is life.. Sorry for your loss as well❤️

[@kateemma22]

OP2 is such a wonderful person. So glad his lovely wife was open to the idea despite the trauma.

[@TheChampionEccentric]

Story 1: Realistically, a son's partner is SUPPOSED to replace their mom as the most important woman in his life. Did this mother really expect Dan to be his darling baby to care for and spoil for the remainder of her life? And on top of that, if I were in her shoes, I would be ecstatic that my daughter-in-law admired me and my cooking so much that she wants to learn to cook like her in order to make her son happy. At the end of the day, I'm glad the mother saw the error of her ways, and that she and Ms. Kitchen Monster were able to see eye to eye. This is the best possible ending in my opinion. 😊

[@jackwatt8988]

It's disgusting to even compare the two. A sexual and romantic situation has nothing to do with a relationship between a mother and a son. The mom isn't replaced in any way, it's just completely different.

[@bilbybloom]

I think the Mothers hurt stemmed more from the fact her son was moving away to another country and not that she was being "replaced" I'd be heartbroken if my son left to go to another country but I'd just have to accept what he wanted and be happy for him. Still doesn't mean you can't be upset that your only child is moving far away and you're only going to see them once in a blue moon

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

I moved cross country in 2000 and I'm a woman. My mom stood at the airport gate watching each plane take off through the window and crying, "My baby. My baby is leaving me." She repeated it 12 times and didn't realize it was funny until much, much later. What I'm saying is...the first time your baby leaves can be genuinely emotional. Moms look directly at a grown adult and see a baby/toddler/teen.@@jackwatt8988

[@locusxe1411]

⁠@@bilbybloomit’s understandable to be upset but don’t be childish about it by taking your frustrations on your sons fiance. Part of being an adult witch children is always accepting the fact that they grow up and woke be around like they used to. It’s a hard feeling to swallow but that’s just life

[@patty-pat-pat]

no no no, a girlfriend is NOT a substitute for a mother. That's just creepy. And it's not what young women want anyways (which is probably why half of them are not dating anymore)

[@Magpiebard]

I would be totally stunned out of nowhere if OP' soon to be mil in #1 did that, and wow did she handle it more gracefully than I would (but then, I had a seriously messed up relationship with my prescription drug addicted mil, so my experience is always gonna be a bit off center) and I'm glad it all worked out. The screaming would have made me flip out, my mil was abusive to everyone and by the end, I just couldn't deal with her screams. (One of the happiest days of my life was when after one of her screaming fit and hitting me with her cane - I smiled, said "Okay, fine, this is enough' and called 911 and had them cart her out to first the hospital and then a nursing home. Saw her 6 more times before she died. It was so... peaceful after that.) To calmly walk out and refuse to engage in the drama? Just wow.

[@teamaang7915]

Last story 🥹 the heart of this guy 🥰

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Eh. He can't have kids. I think that's a factor.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@Kimberly_Sparkles That may be, but he also cares about Levi and wants Charlotte to have access to her brother. I'd say those two things outweigh his feelings about his infertility. If all he cared about was having a child, any child, he and his wife could've adopted a different child/baby.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

He thinks this is a done deal though. As someone who looked into fostering, it's not actually as easy as that. They have to be approved to foster and pass home inspections, even for kinship placements. I'm also not sure if this a kinship placement given that neither adult is related to him. A lot of times people who seem interested in adopting are not approved because ultimately the goal is unification which gives the mom a shot. (With the father's death, even if her rights were terminated, I think she can sue to have them reinstated over foster care.) I think he's in for a very surprising experience. @@MaryTheresa1986

[@RobbinGluck]

Take care of yourself, Mark. Curl up with Poppy and have a hot toddy. Hugs 🫂.

[@Swnsasy]

What a damn good Stepfather.. I understand him wanting to take Levi in and I commend him on it.. Talk to her about your feelings and see how she does. Don't push but, she may be open to it because of her daughter.. It's a massive decision so it's something to broach carefully.. Go with, it's Charlotte's little brother so I thought... It's going to be difficult for her though so be prepared...

[@sandeesandwich2180]

Both of these stories are so so sweet. Amazing what a little compassion can do.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Courts don't 100% always side with the mother. If the father has a lot of money/ more stable he may get custody. But, it's still very strange for a mother to lose custody and not be considered vs a child becoming a ward of the state. So it had to be very bad. Kara wouldn't have been TA if she hadn't wanted to take in Levi, but I'm really glad she is or at least open. I hope Levi and Charlotte get to grow up together and are both happy and healthy

[@noahthenormal]

From what I've heard, the main reason the mother usually receives custody is because the father doesn't push for their custody. When fathers have their lives together and advocate for their custody, they almost always have at least 50%

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

One of the questions that commenters had about this situation was why the OP thought they'd just offer and get custody. The mother isn't really an understood factor. The OP definitely has done no research. While the sister is blood related, none of the adults are. I'm not sure they'd be a kinship placement in that case and either way they need to be licensed to foster. Given that he can't have kids? The state is actually going to have major hesitancy with placing a child with him because they want to avoid foster placements where people secretly want adoption. Given the vagueness with the mother? The mother may not know where her child is if there was a brutal divorce and they may be looking for her. She may be known and working on the issues towards reunification. Between the bad blood between the parents likely being documented and the fact that he is emotionally wanting to bond with Levi? I don't think they'll place him there.

[@GK-ob1ni]

​​@@Kimberly_SparklesWhy would the state be against allowing couples to foster a child if they secretly want adoption? I'm not doubting you or anything, I'm just genuinely curious as to why that is. I would think they would want to give the child a stable home and if people wanted to adopt, that's more likely to happen. I can't see how it's better for the child to be bounced from foster home to foster home and never develop bonds with a family. It seems to be a strange viewpoint for the courts to have and one that's not in the best interests of the child, IMO, unless there's something I'm missing.

[@sammyhenley2395]

​@@GK-ob1nipartially because they want to avoid foster failures. These are cases when foster families decide to adopt instead of continuing to foster. They don't like that because they now have less available foster homes. For example, if you can foster 3 kids and you decide to adopt 1, that's 1 less bed for a child who needs a foster home. Also, foster care is meant to be temporary. Basically, the kids are taken away/taken in until either the parents/guardians prove that they fixed/completed something that shows they are a fit parents. Or, in the case with Levi, they find blood related adults who are willing and able to take him in.

[@deadworld953]

There's a court transcript out there where a judge gave 100% custody to the mother with a convicted child-touching BF and stated the reason was because the house had been awarded to the mother and "a child should not have to grow up in an apartment". Give you one guess how that ended. The father tried very hard to get custody and in the end lost his daughter for good when the BF 'touched her' to death.

[@annejohnson3446]

As to Dan's mom, one of the things we were taught in the military is that it's easier to say good-bye if you are fighting. Just one of those human things.

[@kawaibakaneko]

Oooh never thought of that

[@EnDB]

OP wanting to take in the child is an absolute angel.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

He sure is. A true angel for sure. 😇

[@madambutterfly1997]

And even if her accusations were true being replaced is inevitable the least you can do is face that reality with some dignity

[@alyssachey8417]

I love when community wins the day! 😊

[@TheRealVenna]

I am a mother of six kids, four of them boys. I love them all so deeply, but I have never felt jealous of their girlfriends, or felt they were trying to replace me. For one thing, I really hope that I raised my sons to know how to be self sufficient, so they can cook and clean for themselves so would not feel dependent on a woman for those things. Secondly, if my sons think about their partner the same way they think about me, or I think about my sons the same way their girlfriends or partners do, that's unhealthy, not normal, and please have me tested for something because I don't ever want to feel THAT type of affection for my kids!

[@browniewin4121]

1) Jealous mom is trying to keep the umbilical connected, so long as her son is not ok with this OP shouldn't worry. It was reasonable for OP to ask what she did and very nice the way she did it. His mother is warped and it's good the boyfriend recognizes this. Being farther away will be good. OP needs to realize she will not be the reason for distance between mother and son, she is doing that to herself. NTA. After update: It's nice OP got good advice and that her boyfriend lead the way and then OP reached out to make for improved relationship with his mother. I am happy for them. 2) Wow, sad situation. These kids are siblings, especially after losing their father it is good they should stay together. I hope OP's wife can recognize this and will not punish this kid because of her feelings towards his father. OP needs to have a heart to heart with his wife about this. After update: I'm glad OP and his wife talked and she is open to parenting her daughter's brother. Sounds promising.

[@jennywhite2462]

Good morning from Virginia. I hope you are all having a good weekend and I hope you have an amazing week.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜🧇🧇 have an amazing week

[@elenasimon1270]

BF’s mom. Menopause. Hormones.

[@kawaibakaneko]

Looking back at my mom when she was 50.... yeah I get it

[@shanebrown4146]

First story I lived through but mine did not have a happy ending (after 16 years divorce (I Male) Her mom hated me since beginning & on vacations she would send me on errands or when we went to Disney she sent me to the pool & hot tub and I downed TOO MUCH Jose -that hangover sucked LOL

[@jengibs]

A video of stories with nothing but happy outcomes is exactly what I needed this morning to pep me up. Thank you, Mark.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Me: reads title Me: This is literally the plot of a sitcom.

[@kawaibakaneko]

😂😂

[@poetryqn]

Story 2: The biggest challenge I see is Levi's mom, particularly if she is on a sex offender's list. (Or is that just a rumor started by the less than stellar ex, now deceased?) If I were OP's wife, I'd want to find out more about the situation before giving my heart to a child and then having the possibility of his mother coming back into the picture, particularly if she decides to take him back to her own country. This situation is fraught with possible complications, including OP's strong desire to be a father. he biggest take away is everyone needs to speak thoroughly with each other as well as with Levi's social worker, and a lawyer before making any final decisions.

[@patty-pat-pat]

I cant believe the mom doesnt want her own son?!!!! Or maybe the ex made sure she lost custody (like he tried with his first ex and daughter)

[@renee0_0]

The woman in the last story sounds like she may have PTSD. As someone who has PTSD, that's probably how I look sometimes from the outside when I'm triggered by something someone says/does.

[@katnz5736]

Your onion ninjas are very contagous😂 that was a great conclusion.

[@trashotaku]

I can not describe the amount of compassion op has for wanting to take in a child that he has no legal or biological obligation to

[@kawaibakaneko]

Depends on the kid, some are very cool and lovable it's not a burden to take care of them, other kids tho....

[@junecleaver4099]

I hope you got the rest you needed and are feeling much better now Mark. Hugs to you and Poppy 😊❤

[@jayreiter268]

Buy a cook book. Rest assured her secret recipes are published.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

It’s so rare we get two happy Reddit stories in a row. I’ll cherish this.

[@CristinaFrank]

Whenever Mark says Charlotte, I immediately think of Meier from Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust

[@chimchimindiandragon]

I can understand the wife in the second story completely....when someone you love hurts you so much in so many different ways ...it creates a stab in your heart that's almost impossible to heal .... She is completely in the right to hate the ex husband...what shows her character is that she never stopped her daughter to have a relationship with her father or ger half sibling...she absolutely proved my assessment when she agreed to take in the son and I'm sure in time she will give that child so much love that he will forget this little blim of tragedy in this life...and if he young he might completely forget his life before this point and only remember loving op father and his wife as mother and sister ❤❤

[@faeriefire78]

I have mixed feelings about how we approach forgiveness these days. On one hand, I think it's great that we take less crap from people or accept abuse than we used to. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like we're on a path of becoming too rigid in our boundaries and being far less willing to extend grace to others. We all screw up. I would hate for people to be so unbending that one mistake or emotional outburst because my mental cup finally overflowed would be enough for them to cut me off for life. For me, the context matters.

[@RamonaSchnauzevoll]

today just in time for coffee and indeed, waffles.

[@kerrywhimsey2061]

I can never understand abandoning a child to the foster system. It needs to be completely redone.

[@Guitarbarella]

I live in Southern Australia, if mother has ever been to Australia she is prob scared as hell you will move here permanently.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark stay safe please, peace.

[@dementedqueen4392]

Story 1 - I am SO happy for OP and the ending. I figured the MIL was upset because her only child was moving far away. I remember a term I heard a long time ago called 'wrong targeting.' That is, blaming and going off on someone for something that had nothing to do with them. I actually feel for the MIL. And in the end, she profusely apologized and they were all good now. What I am more pissed off about is some Redditors who just can't help themselves who said they still would never forgive MIL for the outburst. Well, and that's why there are so many broken relationships, families and homes. Because some people just can't forgive anybody for any of the little slights. And as far as slights go, this was pretty much a nothing burger. Even OP knew it was probably due to her son leaving the country.

[@fantasticmrfox9291]

Morning all! Off to milk cows ❤

[@catte.]

I loved the positive endings. Maybe you could even try and do a wholesome story video once in a while if that's something youre interested in?

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I already know if anything happened to one of my niece's parents and no-one was able to step up, we'd be taking her in without question. People who can step up for children, put away whatever reasons that may have kept them from doing so, is awesome. Of course - there are some horrid Foster people out there, it sucks that they make the good ones seem bad.

[@sophdog2564]

Oh boy here we go again 😁

[@pearlofthedarkage]

I love the background art you use in these videos, and I think this one is my favorite so far! I sometimes check the description to see if they're credited, because I was hoping I could find them. So, where do you get these? Love stories with positive endings! That guy wanting to adopt that child is a keeper, and Kara is one lucky woman!

[@yoshgurt]

I'm happy about the ending of the first story. But it really could have been an awesome opportunity. They could plan to cook together over FaceTime and talk about how things are over time. It would have been a great way to bond and feel close despite the distance.

[@heyho203]

Lol when my wife and I left to immigrate to 🇨🇦, my mom told my wife "If you don't like it, leave him and come to us. You can always live with us."

[@cynicalminion]

Story 1) talking like actual adults solves the problem instead of making it worse? On REDDIT?!?!?

[@brecht-W]

Now that my thesis project is finished I can actually chill while listening, which is great! Hope all is well

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Yay

[@funkgraphiczllc1641]

Story 2 shows me I lack empathy 😂😂

[@MariaPlacido-b7s]

Hey I'm first😊. Good Sunday Morning Mark, Poppy and Waffle Gang world wide. It's another clear bright day here in Toronto Canada. Stay safe and warm for this Sunday and a blessed week to come 🇨🇦❤

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗🧇🧇💜💜

[@Droptheworldghost]

Waffle gang gang you are awesome Mark

[@CouncilEstateRach]

Yrvsuch good man with such a huge heart mark. God bless you. Xxxx

[@MCBRUCE76]

S1: I am quick and swift in giving responses to people like MIL. MIL: How dare you try to replace me? Me: Sorry, what are you saying. How can I replace you, you are his mother, and I am his wife. The only way I can replace you is by marrying your husband.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Hey waffle gang 🤪 Raining hard here, but it is BC so it is normal. We do get 3 months of summer with absolutely no rain. Anyway, everyone enjoy your day. Mark and little Poppy, lots of love and laughs coming your way ❤️ 💕 💗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗🧇🧇

[@kieramaccourt8717]

Good morning from sunny Florida! I think it's the opposite here 🤣 We've just finished our two months of winter! Have a lovely day!

[@carolroberts4614]

Raining here in England! 3 months with no rain? We'd have a hosepipe ban after 3 weeks, and told to water the garden with bathwater!

[@artemishallihan8973]

Two undramatic happy endings in one video? It feels like a mirage in the desert. I'm glad they exist and if you can find more, please do! Reddit stories strongly skews to the negative, as it is kind of a repository for people sharing their problems, but too much of that can kind of paint how the rest of reality feels if you don't have good examples to balance it out.

[@serpentmaster1323]

2 wholesome endings!!! Wow!

[@gabinathan5499]

STORY 1 I THINK IT WAS A misunderstanding between OP+ THE mother-inlaw .

[@stellamccoy5259]

S1. I am the mother of one child, a son. There is no way in hell that I could ever treat my son like some of these mothers do. He has done things in his life I don't agree with, but it is his wife to live, not mine. I will always love him and be there for him, but that's it.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Is there a plethora of loving wives and mothers who have trauma that's still no fucking excuse for how she acted

[@samurailevi49]

Thank you for pronouncing Levi correctly.

[@cheskydivision]

Op’s step daughter already lost her father she should not loose her brother too.

[@missesLMA]

I think people branding the mum as crazy in story 1 is Reddit going completely to the extreme as they often do. OP didn’t do anything wrong, but to pretend like we as humans can’t fuck up every now and then without being evil folk to the core is just so out of touch with the real world.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Lot of these freaks acting like the Mom wants to have sex with her son, like people, lets calm down. She just had an emotional outburst ONCE.

[@JJerseyGirl]

She is mad you are with her "sonsband" son- husband because sons are their mothers perfect man.

[@kieramaccourt8717]

The onion ninjas were strong today! I love the positive endings.

[@CouncilEstateRach]

12:40 I know of a couple of people in the uk who are bringing up children they have no actual relation to but the child is a sibling to their child. Exactly like this story.... they would have been put into care but the siblings were like 13 and 15 and the child they Foster was 3months old when they had him..... they have the same father but he is in no fit state to look after the baby, so his 1st (now ex obviously) wife whom he has 2 daughters with offered to Foster the baby and she did and still does...even though the daughters have grown up and left home.... she is still fostering the boy. The other family did the exact same thing except the babies were twin boys and her children were grown when the twins were born... still her children's siblings though and she has now adopted the twins. I dont know about America but I know for SURE that rhis happens and is allowed in the uk. Thank you to all the amazing mums who rather that let these poor babies fo into care.... take on another womans child rather that her children lose a sibling that technically the mumisnt related to in any way. You are amazing amazing people. I'm guessing because it's not an (and I hate this term)affair baby it makes it easier....although I do remember back in the early 90s (and I'm guessing I have to be careful what I say be abuse this is illegal) a friend of mines husband was having an affair and git the woman pregnant, she didn't want it but the father did. So he told his wife he'd gotten a woman pregnant and she agreed to the child being born at home and some how, i dont know how, im guessing things weren't as stringent as they are now, they passed the baby off as theirs.

[@HunnieSuckle24]

I probably wasn't fully listening but it sounds like they kept the move a secret until things got solidified, so it took Mom off guard. Dan is not obligated to get anyone anything until he is ready but it seems like he was close to his family until this moment. Mom freaked out and didnt know how to process the sudden change. Dan may be independent but there was a certain routine with his family that is about to abruptly stop. I wouldn't have advised OP to ask Mom for anything given that she didnt have the best relationship with her. The request no matter how small it was, was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm glad to hear that Mom apologized but something tells me that she felt blindsided by the news. I won't read too much into it but I feel like she didn't know the process was taking place. I could be wrong though

[@jennilynne1977]

Hey Mark and Waffle Gang! I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@destinedtogame]

People saying they wouldn't forgive the mom in story 1. I hope they never interact with others socially and stay hermits. To be so petty, dense, and lsckong humanity is wrong. They need to be kept in a basement

[@TT-fy6hk]

and because of likes of you most won't share their story. So narrowminded I can't believe. I'm in no basement, or hermit, not petty or dense or judgemental like you. I'm in 20th year of happy relationship, haven't spoken to my mil in 15 years of those, she is dead. Don't be a judgy ah

[@persephoneszeliga]

Im 51 and my MIL had more than few of these episodes and rude comments over the years. I forgave her when she bothered to apologize. Now in hindsight I wish I had recognized her toxic behavior as the big red flags they were. She was a horrible MIL. So you should refrain from insulting people who may have gone through things you clearly haven’t.

[@destinedtogame]

@@TT-fy6hk you're projecting your situation. I was speaking of a very specific situation. I can tell you've never studied Kant

[@TT-fy6hk]

@@destinedtogame I see you have never been through life

[@destinedtogame]

@@TT-fy6hk oh I have. I also have proper listening skills. The OP stated that this was a first time situation. Not a life lot C-PTSD situation. I have admitted myself to the psych unit several times due to life. I also do my best to not project. Give it a try. People around you will appreciate it

[@shebakoby]

Dam those onion ninjas!

[@bhart3321]

If I was Dan's father I'd be asking if his mom has ever acted inappropriately towards him cuz that outburst of hers was straight out of the toxic boy mom playbook. You the ones that have emotionally incestuous relationships, treating their own sons like an ersatz husband instead of their child. That compete with their daughters and/or their sons girlfriends for attention. I'd be questioning our marriage if my wife acted like that.

[@hilarymurray8741]

First story : I have five sons, all with partners. None of them have ever asked me for recipes, even though my boys have travelled quite a lot with them. I suspect the mum might feel that OP is being invasive and condescending and that and her being worried about her son going away made her come out with an outburst which I am sure she regrets. It was a bit condescending of OP to force herself a bit on a busy mother like that. Perhaps this indicates very different backgrounds and sensitivities? Compromise may be helpful.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Story 2: As someone who wants to adopt someday and can’t wait for that day to come, OP has such a big heart. I pray for nothing but the best for this soon to be family of four 😊❤

[@jaimejones3177]

Onion ninjas? 😂❤

[@GuiltlessStudios]

Story 1, I think I could forgive MIL because she apologized and seemed to want to put some work in to change things. Plus they're leaving the country, so.... degrees of separation. :) (I had a live-in FIL-figure like that who was never remorseful and always said I was being 'too sensitive' if I brought up how I was being treated. >_> Absolute relationship-breaker.)

[@cattyanamontes5724]

Story 2 😭

[@mindyschocolate]

S1: mom has issues. Good thing they’re moving to another country. She won’t be OP’s problem anymore.

[@Daug555]

S1: Swear some of these mothers have a thing for their sons. Weird asf.

[@LA_choca]

Whats up with moms wanting to "not be replaced" like bruh wtf do u think ur kids gonna do when they grow up. Die with them?

[@destinedtogame]

Oh wow

[@pinkesthibiscus]

Just got in from the cold (caught a bit of rain at the end too 🥲) and I’m so in need of some rest and warmth. Curling up with blankets and stories from my fave channel is exactly what the doctor ordered 😌 stay safe & warm, all 💗💗

[@mithril1584]

Story 2: OP used a phrase that her ex used when they were arguing once, so she stormed out and stayed at a hotel. Rest of the story aside, OP is married to a grown ass child. Imagine not being able to say a certain phrase or sentence because your partner would throw a tantrum.

[@opal5138]

Theory all this mother in law storys are about the same family

[@kuno3336]

OP2 seems amazing. That's what a real man should be

[@squidward6187]

emotional incest is sooo common between mothers and sons. My dad's mom was extremely threatened by my mom, when he told her they were getting married she started bawling. When her husband died, she made my dad sleep in the same bed for a couple weeks. My mom was weird too. My brother, when he was early teens, would walk down stairs in boxers that were so decrepit you could his junk. My mom would giggle like a school girl, "Oh E--, put on some pants!" But we both knew she enjoyed it so he wouldn't. Being a healthy-minded girl I didn't understand it, it grossed me out to see my brother's junk - as it should if it's your family. My bf's mother is also VERY attached to her other son like I don't think he'll ever move out of their house, she seems to need him and gives him the dreamy eyes. I will admit one of the reasons I don't have children is because the thought of getting sexually invested in my son is terrifying to me. I am convinced the reason people often have children is to build the perfect partner.

[@InuMokuba]

Honestly the first story get me in the feels and I cried at the update. OP is NTA all the way through, but I feel peoples response to MIL was rather harsh. Granted this was going on way before they planned to move so definitely some competition issues MIL needed to work on(spouce v parent is never a competition), but depending what country they live in... AUSTRALIA?! If they live in the US that's RIDICULOUSLY far. Of course I would want my son to live his best life and go have so many adventures, but I can't say I wouldn't be emotional af about that. That's taking empty best syndrome to cosmic levels😂 I could see then being asked about your cooking would lead your brain to think illogically. Again I hope I'd stay sound minded, but I felt for MIL and while she was indeed the one fully wrong, I can't think shes a JustNoMIL at all. I'm so glad the update was positive❤

[@bessieburnet9816]

The sweet men of both stories have me 🥲🥺❤

[@AndyyWithAY]

Had to go back to the ages. 27?? As in blink and he'll be 30. More than one woman a man knows can cook, a man can cook for himself too. I see we're starting the day off with emotional incest. I disagree with that last comment telling her to reach out to the mom. That can be interpreted in the wrong way, and a narcissist would use that against you forever and they'd always have power over you. Glad it worked out here, but still think OP shouldn't have reached out until Carol did

[@destinedtogame]

Southern hospitality doesn't exist with you. Lets hope no one needs you

[@shebakoby]

story 1: Carol seems like a covert narcissist or sub-clinical levels of narcissism (the overbearing part). Cold to OP but denies being cold. When the opportunity arises, due to them leaving the country imminently, accuses OP of trying to replace her. This is typical narcissistic nonsense. OP can now be certain in the fact that Carol does not like her and may never like her, but she'd probably not like any potential partner, especially not one who (in her eyes) would take her precious baby boy away from him for thousands of miles away, despite said 'baby boy' making his own decision to do so. How do you handle a severe covert narcissist if regular communication won't work? Grey rocking/pink rocking, Low Contact or Very Low Contact, "timeouts" and No Contact. More severe narcissists almost never apologize, and when they do, 9 times out of 10 it's a "I'm sorry you feel that way" non-apology". At least with Carol she actually apologized, so maybe she's sub-clinical with a lot of insecurities.

[@destinedtogame]

She doesn't. Please stop spreading things you aren't educated to do so. Get your PhD then talk

[@0HellcatMary0]

I get why the MIL is struggling, and she went to a weird place, but I appreciate she circled back around. I almost kind of feel like if the MIL was actually an incredible cook who had some secret/generational family recipes, she perhaps could have valued the opportunity to pass them down more. It becomes a little more of a legacy you want passed down to keep some piece of you and your history around when you no longer are.

[@Mantelar]

Mom is crazy. Teaching a DIL to cook the food your boy grew up with and loves is a joyful experience for anyone without a personality disorder.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

If it someone you like and click with maybe. If not, it could be torture.

[@YukikoSnowLeopardess]

Story 1: I'm 100% getting the whole "sonsband" type of vibes, like she should be the one hanging onto his arm and not OP. Like, she views her son as a replacement husband, though she's married to Dan's father.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗