Motherhood PEP TALK you NEED: when you don't LOVE playing w/your kids

Motherhood PEP TALK you NEED: when you don't LOVE playing w/your kids
I started journaling again which always gets a little cray. My mind starts going a million different ways!
Well this time I wanted to figure out how to CREATE my motherhood. I wanted to create days that FEEL good, days that FEEL fulfilling and guilt free!
I realized a lot!
First, I don't love playing Barbies - on her terms. I realized I need to crate the scene and she'll play within.
I also realized I don't want to play with the Barbies as the characters I want to be the character. I also feel slightly insane verbalizing some of these things.
Arts and crafts are my JAM, I like building, if I'm going to turn of the TV it would be helpful if I had something else for us to do. I like getting out of the house. I also like honoring her interests so I also play with the dang Barbies!
I hope this helps you to dig deep in what YOU want with your motherhood :)
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00:00 You create your life
00:15 Hey Shayla Intro :)
00:33 I started journaling
01:00 Trying to reduce screentime
01:11 I'm working on a "get of your phone" guide
01:22 hey shayla Thought prompt flip book coming
01:48 What do you want motherhood to feel like?
02:40 Books that have helped my motherhood
03:03 I am the only one responsible
03:22 The problem I had with less screen time
04:06 Accepting your circumstance to be happy
05:24 Choosing happiness is HARD sometimes
06:20 What makes me feel like a stellar mom?
06:50 What if you don't like playing what your kid likes?
07:24 CREATE THE SCENE
08:07 I want to be the character
09:15 Getting creative
09:36 Getting out of the house
10:35 But also do what she wants too
10:56 You create your life

[@Jessie90ish]

I laughed when I clicked on this because it was so timely lol I was like god why do I hate playing so much. I literally had the thought yesterday “id rather be doing laundry than sitting here drawing another lamp”. But like, he loves it. So I can stare at his joyous face and get over myself. It’s honestly a great way to practice the calm and slow pace that I also want to have in my home. I also want him to remember that mom played with him all the time and I wasn’t some bustling blur around him 24/7. Instead of drawing the millionth lamp, I decided we would start pulling up images on google and copying them. So that way my brain wasn’t crying anymore lol CREATE YOUR LIFE YALLLL

[@kilosierra_edu]

Wow, what a good idea! I always get so bored when drawing because I can’t come up with a good idea for what to draw, but I’ll try this next time 😊

[@qpixelthree80]

I think it’s important to remember as women we do have fluctuating hormones throughout the month. This will make some days and weeks a lot more exhausting/frustrating/tedious than others. It would be a good idea to recognise the stages of our cycle and how that might be impacting our mood and be mindful of it. I think it’ll help in knowing that yes I’m exhausted, I’m frustrated, I’m irritable, but my body is doing some stuff and I’m going to breathe through this because it’s not forever.

[@meagglyASMR]

You are a freaking light. I’m so happy I found your channel. Your energy is so pure and I feel it. You make motherhood sound like a shared experience amongst mothers and not an isolating guessing game of wondering if what you’re feeling is normal. Thank you❤️

[@colorlessoz]

Just make sure as a mom you don't ALWAYS make a scene for your daughter or son to play in. Let them try out their own imagineative stories too. But ask them "what is going on so i can prepare my doll/toy?"

[@hannahm4581]

These are amazing ideas - thank you! (1) setting out toys at night or before they get home from school/daycare and (2) buying toys i want to play with

[@carolinekayesavage3746]

I recently started setting the scene at night while my LO was sleeping and it made such a difference to our days. He was more inspired to play, he was able to play with different toys as if they were brand new toys. I saw that when I first prioritized quality vs quantity time with him doing whatever it is he loves, his cup was more full and he was able to do more independent play (which freed up some time for me to get some other things done) and essentially I had a happier toddler ❤

[@carinen8119]

Being the calm for a family is so much work!

[@kelseywilliams323]

Thanks, I needed this pep talk. We have a 3yo and a 6 week old; I've been so bitter toward my husband and family because I'm not getting any alone time since the baby was born and I'm burned out. I really need to reflect on what I want my motherhood to feel like (within our confines) and take ownership over making that a reality. If I wait for someone else to take that initiative, it will never happen...and that is a tragic missed opportunity.

[@incaray69]

Im the opposit. I started off so well. Setting up activities, zero to minimum screen time as she got older. Since my daughter turned 4 its been so hard!! Shes now 5 and its still hard. I also really dont want to play barbies 😊 I loved barbies as a kid. These were great tips. I must try this. Hopefully I can give her more quality play time and our relatiknship will get better again. 🙏

[@MusicIsMyAeroplane09]

Oh my gosh the last minute you were on FIRE (I appreciated the entire video) but I was really feeling ya at the end - I thought, no way, that's the end?! Hah. I love it. Thanks for your content.

[@Bilisjourney]

definitely agree w choosing to feel happy. Daily reminder on my days and I am overall a very positive person. I enjoy choosing that over a victim 100% !!

[@tarotkama]

I love this because I've been focusing on the law of attraction and how we create our own experience and it's been so life changing lately ❤

[@tarotkama]

As I'm the 555th like 😂😊

[@dragamboazulinqiacupuntura122]

Plus if you're not enjoying it they can tell so they might think you don't wanna play with them rather than you don't like the plot that you're playing

[@user-rh2po3hv4k]

I love you. You’re honestly the greatest

[@lilyhuey6564]

You are my kindred spirit. Parallel lives. It’s my CHOICE how this parent hood thing goes😂😊

[@Thisorganizedmother]

Totally! There’s so many times where I’m like, I can’t play trucks right now but would you like to do a board game or bake with me? We do something we both like. He has a brother to play trucks! I’ll do that maybe once a day. It’s my job to do stuff around the house, it’s his job to play unless he wants to be involved in what I’m doing. :)

[@imperfectly_megan]

Thank you for this. 💖 I thought for only a few minutes about how to make my daughter's car/blocks more fun and realized I could pretend it was a futuristic city with flying cars. I also definitely went through the "mad at everyone, you should be helping me" phase. I was pregnant and it was a whole thing. Now we are moving to a place where I can be more independent and take my kids out for outings and already our life has improved so much. (I was stuck upstairs in an apartment with no way to bring our 2 kids outside.)

[@brenna533]

so we have 70 million playmobil sets and that makes playing very interesting bc you can make little scenes and it's intricate and it captivates our attention as adults. my 3yo will play with it all day every day.

[@mathiog56]

Thanks for saying all this. I loved playing when I was a kid, but the repetitive way my 3 year old plays is both boring and exhausting. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!

[@amandatyler]

Love hearing you talk about choosing happiness and mindset, and that it's not always 50/50 and that's OKAY. ❤ My husband works a lot, so coming to terms with my reality and figuring out how to make it work for me, and how to change things within my circumstances to make things fit my vision, was a HUGE shift for me as a first time mom. Every moment is an opportunity for me to reset and ask myself, I want to be my family's calm so what can I do to make that happen??

[@89DaniiM]

I just want to say, thank. you for making this video, because I literally have been struggling with. barbie play for the last 2 years, and finally my daughter stopped asking me to play barbies because I would always say no thank you. but today is the day!!! haha I love the part about leaving your phone down and having a thought prompt in the nursery and thinking to yourself, this is their childhood as well as your motherhood. great pep talk!

[@Rachel-fz8hb]

Oh my sounds EXACTLY like my thinking when I feel I have had a successful day. Lol

[@jennil5464]

Girl! I was crying about this yesterday night! I feel so bad because playing with my baby doesn’t come naturally, I really have to work on it, haven’t watched the video but I was surprised with the timing!

[@evahymel4357]

Wow, I am so on that level right now. The barbie level. The I'm-not-happy-unless-I'm-outside-and-adventuring level. The "why do I hate this so much and what can I do to make it better?" level. It makes me think that an adventure moms or regular mom meet-up group is something that I need in my life, and maybe it's something I should try to start if I can't find an existing one. I'm staring down a big move/life change and I'm a little nervous what I will find on the other side. Watching your video just reminds me that I need to take the reins and make it into the life I love and not wait for other people to make it lovely for me. Thank you as always for sharing your experience and thoughts on these things!!

[@arianedagher3500]

Wow, that's the pep talk I didn't know I needed! Thank you, Shayla! ❤️ I got to say, I was floored by the question : what do you want your motherhood to feel like ? That's such a life-giving question to think about and I have to be honest and say that I never even thought in these terms / allowed myself to think outside of the all-giving motherhood box and want something more for myself. I guess now's the time! 💪🏼

[@chelsealynn90]

Always love a pep talk from you 😊 definitely needed to hear these things right now. Thanks 💕

[@PeaceBeStill39]

Thank you for this!! I have a three month old so things look a little different than your situation but I love the whole “life’s what you make it” mentality!

[@GodisInYourJobSearch]

Very good tips and reminders

[@Dana-mb1hd]

THANK you for this today- I needed a pep talk badly!❤❤

[@lauriewromar5478]

My girl and I play Easter egg hunt on a regular basis. Year round. It’s a classic! The theme of this video was great. Good motivation and a great pick me up from pity party that is so easy to fall into. ❤

[@sharniejaeschke52]

LOVE THIS!! I really needed to hear this as I am struggling with all these things at the moment. Thank you for your wise words ❤

[@maryyeager9610]

I’m about to have my first child in 5 months and I loved this video, it definitely changes my mind on how to play with kids!

[@CJ2023Incognito]

Love your encouraging videos, Shayla. Thanks for posting! ❤

[@Nthn2chere]

I needed this today! Thank you Shayla! You are the best!

[@ginapurcell1732]

I missed the mom meet up because we went out of town for Labor Day weekend. Hope you do more of those this fall!

[@stinestausholm7227]

Thank you! ❤

[@CrazyAznGirll]

Thanks for the ideas Shayla!

[@hilltophomestead1328]

Soooo good Shayla! Thank you for this.

[@chelseaevans8236]

Amazing, I really needed this. BTW that orange scrunchie is so darn cute!

[@heyshayla]

haha thanks! Old navy

[@willowslater9961]

More than anything I wish I could go back 5 years and show yoga/ kid free/ traveling Shayla this video 😂 like here’s you goin into detail about “setting the scene” with your 3 year old

[@heyshayla]

😂😂😂

[@laurastewart7879]

Always get so happy when you post. I needed to hear this as a mum of a 2 year old so thank you so much. So relatable 👍🏻😊 also I just signed up to kiwi co and got our first box through a couple of days ago, just takes any guess work about an activity to do if you get a brain fart like I do regularly 😅

[@VancouverVicky]

Hey Shayla ☺️😄💕 I absolutely LOVE you and your channel and your podcast! Thank you for your work and such relatable content!❤ My second daughter is four months old (3 years apart) and I'm soo grateful for your videos. You've literally helped me stay sane through this craazy period of adjustment!🙏 Please keep doing what you're doing! Love from Vienna, Austria 🤗🥰

[@heyshayla]

I appreciate you

[@AlexisKimberlyy]

This could not have been any more timely! 8 month old who’s discovered his legs and feet 😅

[@kerriprest3446]

I’m currently reading the Hunt Gather Parent book you recommend and so far I’m gathering that we should limit the number of child centered activities and that the children should join us with our tasks such as doing the dishes rather than you forcing yourself to play Barbie’s. I’m curious to know if you have decided that that advice just wasn’t for you and your family or if maybe you wanted to implement it when you read it but it has since slipped your mind?

[@heyshayla]

Both, it’s slipped my mind and also it’s a balance. I bring her in to adult centered things but I also want to play sometimes too ❤️

[@megangray7769]

You always give me such great ideas!!! Honestly I have no idea how to entertain kids, mine is 5months old and I'm running out of ideas 😂 (future heyShayla video possibly?) Much love sis 🙏 fabulous info as always

[@kaiyaanniescott]

Thankyou! I also hate playing barbies. X

[@xenos911]

You’re so pretty

[@veronicapaulino5421]

Love this! Can we get the link for the thought prompt book?

[@heyshayla]

Sending it to the printer next week! Heres the email list to get on to be notified when it's live or to preorder! heyshayla.com/thoughtprompt

[@carlyerickson8123]

Wait, what is the journal brand?! I too don't enjoy writing in those those cute but so tiny books.

[@heyshayla]

amzn.to/3RizfIk

[@melodid5023]

Hey Sheila can you do a video about tantrums and how you deal with it. I have a 16 month old girl and she ist wonderful but I’m just walking blind here with all the information. I’m just trying to figure it out but it would help so much to listen to other people’s experiences. Ps. Great video. And can you make another video about potty training. Have you started with Esme? Would love to hear about your process because we did EC and it worked well and now she just refuses to go potty although she’s been doing it all the time 😅

[@heyshayla]

Yes!! These are great video ideas thank you!!! How to talk so LITTLE kids listen is a GREAT read for exactly this

[@patriarchywife]

Shayla, I was wondering how to get on your podcast. I am a mom of three currently (7,6,and 6 months) and I am currently 5 months pregnant also! I do not have instagram and social medias so I was wondering what you look for to be on your podcast? I would love to be a guest!

[@jo_nathan_nation6544]

Seriously, stop saying granola. So cringe. 😒😬

[@heyshayla]

glad you’re here 🤷‍♀️