moving back home & in with your partner is hard ft. how to communicate nonviolently

IG: / rowenatsai | Giving myself grace through change, challenges, and new beginnings 🥹 Feels good to open up & reconnect again. Grateful for you all, potate fam 🫶 And a huge thank you to @iherb for sponsoring this video! New & returning customers will get a discount OFF their iHerb order w/ no minimum purchase: www.iherb.com/?rcode=ROWENA
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[@shenelledwards1575]

This entire time I thought Rowena was saying, “hello Swedish potatoes” 😂Meanwhile, she’s been saying, “hello sweetest potatoes” and my life has never been the same 🤣

[@thalissacarvalho4109]

lmaooooo thank you for this

[@soysugg9515]

Girl YES. Living with your partner (after previously living alone) is an ADJUSTMENT. It's a melding of lives- how you sleep and wake up, clean, treat your things, and maintain a certain standard of life. You learn so much about each other during this time and it's such a great opportunity to hone communication skills and even argue effectively. My partner also has asked me to be more gentle when I deliver feedback. It takes time to get it right, it takes compromise, and it's not always 50/50. Thank you for being vulnerable!

[@bak3456]

I love that you took accountability for expecting your partner to be the primary responsible in making you feel less lonely. Those are the lessons I’m learning being single in this season of my life, that my emotions and wellbeing are my responsibility not in an hyper independent way , but in a way that makes me feel safe within myself regardless of the external challenges. But we’re humans after all and we can have good and bad days , it’s ok ❤

[@silja2233]

Wow i really needed to hear this. I moved in with my girlfriend just a few weeks ago. When you described loneliness I had a realization that indeed that’s what I’ve been feeling. I didn’t really realize that I could feel lonely even though I just moved in with someone having previously lived alone. But it makes sense now because when we used to see each other less often, we would both be more present. Now that we live together we really need to plan out the time to be fully present with each other. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable for this video and thank you for all the comments.

[@rhifgrty]

Came here to say this, and you just explained it so well. It's this exact feeling

[@vanessab7666]

Can i just say how freaking amazing it is to see how communicating with your partner looks like in the real world. Nothing is perfect and just to see that conversation was such a light to see. I am actually going to move out for the first time in my life with my partner so just seeing this is like a great reminder to fully communicate what is gonna be needed from me and him in order to make that transition less stressful as possible. Please continue making these open and honest videos they are so awesome !

[@auag19]

I also crave deep connection through conversation. When you live with your partner it can sometimes feel like there's no room, time, space or energy for silly questions that open us up to actually think and connect. One way to do this that really works for me is buying silly conversation cards. We sit on the couch and answer a few questions. I know we do it more for me than for him, but I deeply crave/need these conversations. It helps me get out my head also and more into the now😊

[@shakillia]

I agree with all of this. Before moving in with my now-husband, I had immediately bought the Gottman card deck 52 Questions Before Marriage or Moving In Card Deck'. My husband isn't too big on card games but we still go through the cards on slow convenient days. Highly recommend to others. Also am open to suggestion on other cards if you have any. 💜

[@rhifgrty]

It's so soothing to read all these comments and see so many others also feeling the weight of adjusting to co-sharing a space with a partner, how you mold around eachothers' routines, navigate eachothers' moods and emotions, and handle those feelings of loneliness and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing yourself Rowena.

[@nadayyya]

The timing couldn’t be more better. I am currently in the same boat as you are and I thought wow I am so priviliged to be in the same place with him I shouldn’t be too whiny. Thank you Rowena!

[@aohamer]

That's sweet of him to acknowledge his role in the process. Overall, I've been with my husband for 15 years (since high school) and I've learned the power of private conversations. It did feel a bit uncomfortable at the end; it's difficult having those talks on camera. Out of respect for your relationship, I remind myself that you or him don't owe us insights or words of encouragement at the sake of your privacy and comfortability level. Just something to keep in mind for the future of your marriage and sharing it online 💕

[@cinthiaabe9607]

Hard crying while watching this, I moved to London from Mexico to be with my husband, I have no friends, I feel so lonely and oh god its haaard. Helps to know im not alone in this experience 💖

[@maddiek3352]

I love living with my partner sooo much. I think the most helpful change has been writing what I need him to do on a sticky note, because I've realized his brain just skips over mess and doesn't distress him like it does to me. Modern men are raised to pass household responsibilities to women, and it's deeply engrained. There are a few really great creators on TikTok that talk about balancing household labor

[@ViktorDi]

15:30 "I'm sowwy, thank u for understanding". Love to see such genuine and open, and honest moments. Wish you guys long, long years and forever together!

[@japemmanut]

I love this. Thank you for being so vulnerable (your partner too btw) and letting us in on this. I've been partnered up for almost 6 years now sharing a flat with my partner. What you describe will happen oover and over again. Everytime you go through a transition in life basically or when one of you is going through a transition in life. But I have no doubts that you two will be able to evolve with each other and with these transitions! Sending you hugs and warmth.

[@LovedGirlMag]

I love this side of you, Rowena, and as a fellow INFJ, I can relate to everything: the need for a tidy space to feel at peace, and the desire for people to be willing to open up their souls in conversations. Thanks for sharing, and I'm sorry that you're in a season of transitioning right now. I went through a similar move in 2021 when I moved back to my hometown soon after getting engaged. I was not prepared for the loneliness I felt, especially in a familiar place with familiar people. It was both surprising and disheartening. But give it time; transitions are hard, and soon you'll find your people. Don't be surprised if it's new people you end up connecting with - that's what happened to me. Now, I realize it's because I am a completely different person than I was when I was last home 🫶🤎

[@meteorsong5]

Your situation feels familiar. When I moved in my then-boyfriend, I didn’t realize the amount of adjustment needed for two people - that immensely love each other - to cohabitate. Him and I are the classic opposite pair when it comes to tidying and organizing. I fall into the “all the clutter is stressing me out”, while he’s the “what clutter? It’s cozy” type. It caused and still causes friction from time to time (we’re now married). I’ve learned that our priorities and perspective when it comes to cleaning is vastly different - an intrinsic part of us. That despite my exasperated blow-ups, the prospect of him suddenly becoming proactive in this department is a pipe dream. So I’ve decided to practice acceptance (which admittedly comes easier on some days) which is mostly to regulate my reaction his lack of initiative when it comes to cleanings. Now, this doesn’t mean that I “let things go”. I still clearly communicate with him the feeling of unfairness that builds up and possible resentment that can fossilize over time. My husband might not understand the need for a clean space to function well, but he fully comprehends that it’s something that causes me unhappiness and stress. I found that these practices has been helping me find equilibrium in our relationship. It’s not a one off solution, rather a reminder that being with a partner requires constant work. Hoping brighter days ahead for you and your partner!

[@ariexgravity]

The timing with this video is truly quite incredible. My bf just move in with me last month. I had been temporarily living at his place since february while my appartment was being renovated. I loved living with him all winter; it went quite smoothly. However, the process of him moving in with me was really stressful and hard on both of us. You took the words out of my mouth: moving into an already inhabitated place is really complicated! I had to go sort through and give away so much of my stuff to make room for his stuff. I’m happy I did it and it always feels good to get rid of things you don’t need anymore, but it was so much to deal with all at once. To top it all off, I, just like you, can’t function, work, relax or generally feel happy in a messy space. I was just constantly stressed out and anxious for weeks, until we finally finished unboxing stuff and putting everything away. Throughout the whole process, I communicated consistantly with my partner about what I needed, what I was expecting from him, and asking him what I could do to help him throughout the process. There was friction here and there but I would say it went pretty well, and brought us closer together in the end ❤

[@shakillia]

Rowena I have been a subscriber for a while now and I swear that everytime I watch one of your videos it feels like I am literally hearing my self talk. You hit EVERY single video EVERY single time. I can relate to this SO much it is UNCANNY. With being an INFJ (The Judging is real) and adjusting through the changes of living with a partner it is definitely a process that I am still working through even after 8 years of living together. I moved in with my 'former partner/now husband' back in 2015. I went through the EXACT same thing and let me tell you there still might be times where you find yourself getting frustrated with him over this. But having that talk with your counselor is helpful I am sure. This video was enlightening and has given me an opportunity to reflect on myself a bit more. I also struggle when it comes to socializing with friends for the same reason. My husaband is such an extrovert. He is an ESTP. I GENUINELY would not mind getting together and having some deep conversations with you. Some words of encouragement: STAY STRONG. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY! Contine to learn about eachother. Adapt to his weaknesses and make them your strength. Continue to communicate your feelings. Be honest with yourself and him. Love your channel ^-^ You got this

[@jasminehere9225]

Also an INFJ and literally what you said. I feel like I'm hearing my self talk when I watch Rowena's videos and I appreciate how brave and authentic she is.

[@TNT_1398]

I admire you Rowena for being brave by sharing your vulnerability about your challenges with your partner moving in, yet ironically feel lonely. I laugh because I feel the same and it's glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. This is my first time experiencing my partner moving in. I'm learning that these negative emotions doesn't mean we're incompatible but learning more how to compromise with each other in the same space. I see that there's a lot more to learn with each other.

[@TB-ky7de]

Getting a group of people to open up their souls. My gosh you hit the nail on the head, that’s something I have been struggling with but didn’t recognize it till I heard you describe it and the judgement sentence resonated with me so much. Flippin’ thank you for sharing.

[@hattiea]

James is such a sweetheart! That last bit about expecting your partner to do stuff and how we also need to make the effort for the deep connection makes so much sense! Thanks for sharing 💙

[@thehopefulpath]

I love this! In my culture, moving in together before marriage is not really the norm. So even when we are 7 years together before we got married, it was sooo hard when we started living together. Plus, since we are preparing to leave for my foreign assignment to another country when we got married, it was most practical for us to just stay in his parents' house instead of finding our own place. Mind you I don't know how to cook or do chores at home. Before getting married, work is my life and my parents coddled me. When we finally arrived in my country of assignment, oh all hell brakes loose. The change was too much for me. New country, new work environment, new people, new apartment. I remember crying everyday for the first few weeks. I don't even know what appliances or kitchenwares we had to buy! I feel like I'm such a failure. But i learned a lot from that experience. Communication is key. And you will be more resilient knowing that your partner has your back.

[@shakillia]

My parents also coddled me. My mother handled mostly everything. Every once in a while she would ask us to do something but would go behind us when we didn't do it right. I definitely struggled when I finally went out on my own.

[@taylorstitchlover99]

This video could not have come at a better time 😂 I’ve been living with my boyfriend for almost 2 years (together for almost 11 years) and we’ve very very recently had a deep and long chat about how our relationship has changed since living together 😅 Like Rowena said, communication from both sides is key and it’s important to know what the other person is feeling ❤ Thank you Rowena for this amazing video ❤

[@thylatrash7668]

This is why you are the only youtuber whose videos I still watch, your authenticity and calm vibe is truly what I aspire to be

[@MarielQueenPenguin]

The struggle is reeeal! Moving in with you partner is hard. I’m six months in myself, and asked around and it’s completely normal. We have different expectations of the place we live in, the best thing is to communicate, and empathy.

[@Mystique-kq9pe]

The feeling of lonely can easily become a reality of being alone if you're not taking time to nurture yourself. Dont beat yourself up for not doing enough, it only makes us more angry and irritable. Always remember, even in times of overwhelm, always keep compassion for other humans, especially the ones you love (which should include yourself as well). Also, thank you. Your videos made my journey towards emotional stability a reality. I'm immensely grateful for your hard work both online with youtube and with your internal work on yourself that makes your videos so impactful. -Proud potato 🥔

[@dearmom1888]

Thanks for sharing this moment in your life. I just moved back to the east coast from California and am currently feeling many similar feelings that comes with the moving process and starting over. This made me feel less alone in the process, so thank you ☺️

[@KielleDeAnda]

I love you Rowena, i hope to have a daughter soon & I love that name for her ! I feel like you have been there, on the precipice of the significant transitions in my life over the past 3 years,.. i feel like I found this video in divine timing rn. I feel it is preparing me for my next transition as I speak 😊. Thank you for your work hunny, peace and blessings to your union ❤

[@emiliacrow2718]

thanks so much for sharing and being vulnerable! this has helped me figure out some of the emotions and frustrations i’ve also been feeling while living with my partner

[@cashmerehazel21]

When you said how feeling lonely is different from being alone, I realize I've been lonely for sooooooooooooo long despite having a partner, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues so much so that I'm immuned to it now and didn't feel like I'm missing anything until you brought this topic up. But then again, I struggle to understand how it was to feel lonely now because that's just the way of ordinary life.

[@joannegracelleyap8277]

Everything about this video is just so precious. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us, Rowena. Your videos have the capacity to touch people in ways you might not expect. Looking forward to more videos! 🦈

[@lilyams9977]

This is the cutest video ever. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your true self with us 🥹❤️

[@krayzekaye8]

Thank you for being vulnerable and letting us into the real struggles of life (moving, adjusting, communicating). You really deserve more and the more I watch your videos the more I feel I really do benefit from them. Continue making them and inspiring!

[@ambergibson9559]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing! There will be an adjustment period for sure. You will both start to blend together into one creative force! One thing that's really helped my relationship is to have a shared to-do list...listing what needs to be done in a day, listing what our dinner plans are (since that's the one we cook at home). You probably already have that, but it's really been a game changer for us.

[@maychanbrigs9924]

This is the most wholesome thing ever 💕 Thank you for sharing this, Rowena. This is something I needed to see and hear to find peace within myself.

[@jocelynwhitephotos]

Love this and thank you and Jams for being so vulnerable in this transition. I appreciate learning through your experience and seeing how important communication is in your relationship (taking mental notes for my own future relationships😊). Much love to you guys!

[@shahreenhossain518]

I missed you so much Ro! Checked your channel everyday for the last month to see if there is a new upload. This was very eye opening! Thank you for being so candid 🫶😊

[@DevilDears]

I’m so happy that you’re back, Rowena! ❤ I didn’t realize how much I missed your videos until I started checking for updates every other day. 😂 Your wonderful research and personal introspection on different topics have helped me evolve so much over the years. I’m really thankful to you for that! You give your viewers so much value for free! I’d love more videos on how you get settled in at home and how you find your community in the future. I‘ve recently decided to move back to my old neighborhood as well in order to be closer to my grandma because her health is getting worse. I just wanted to be there for her but I’m just not sure how to establish boundaries (and keep enough distance instead of being seen as her little girl that’s always on call). From what you’ve shared in the past, you know that struggle well from staying at your parents’ place. I’d be grateful for more tips on how to manage that as an independent woman, working from home. I’m also quite unsure how I’ll fit into my old community now and if I’ll feel lonely. Like you said, moving is a big adjustment and I’m going from right in the middle of a busy, capital city to a small town without so much as a grocery store. One of my old friends is moving away, too, just shortly before I get there so… I’ll have to think of something. How do you feel about reconnecting with old friends after you’ve had a falling out, btw? I feel like I might go down that road now that I’ve grown so much on my own (and I hope they have, too) but I’m worried that the same things that led me to distance myself might repeat. That would be a great video topic as well, I think (trying on your “old clothes” and seeing if they still fit so to speak). Could be a great conversation starter for voice hugs, too, which I also love. Again, thank you so much and sorry for the long, personal ramble! 😅 I guess, you just hit a nerve with that video. Can’t wait to see what’s next for you.

[@Journaluxe]

i love your videos... the pure emotion and thoughtfulness you convey has kept me a longtime subscriber. the first few months living with my boyfriend were really hard, but things have mellowed out as we got used to seeing each other as "home". i hope that you two will grow stronger and more in love with this experience.

[@nanoekbos1009]

I admire your courage! What an honest and vulnerable video ❤

[@sabagilani1600]

I just loved how real this was! Been feeling the same way and it's so reassuring to know that I am not alone in all this human experience.

[@egggirl123]

rowena, thank you so much for being so open about this!!!!!!!! it’s so glossed over and just … UGH! a PROCESS!!!

[@morgancrosby4190]

Needed this video so much right now. Thank you for making this and sharing these hard moments.

[@ananyabangera637]

aww, love you Row! You're doing so well! Thank you for sharing your journey with us and once again, you're doing such a great job introspecting and communicating your needs. I have such a long way to go with this! You're such a big help in this process! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@Scottstot92]

I truly enjoyed this. So genuine. ❤️ it gets better.

[@brunamarr]

Thank you so much for being this honest. I used to only visit my ex's place on the weekend and I'd feel so uncomfortable with his behaviour just like you described. I get that adaptation is hard when you move with someone but it's so energy consuming. I adapted myself to fit his life but when you're the only one trying it becomes a burden. I rather live by myself and keep my sanity and peace than always feeling like a mother to a partner!

[@Nico5890]

Right?! It's a tale as old as time. It happened to each of our mothers too.

[@asperany6102]

Girl it is such a good and useful video, it gave me so much to think about my communication and judgement

[@zesbaki]

It's amazing how well you communicate your journey. Thank you for sharing.

[@ivanas442]

Thank you for sharing! As someone who's 30 & never been in a relationship, it's interesting to see the different dynamics in how relationships go & the work that has to be put in by both to make things go smoothly

[@Cuppcake0]

I’ve missed your videos!! Thank you for showing this side and for being vulnerable, i always learn alot from your content, big huug ❤️

[@amandamovio]

I cannot believe how parallel this runs to my situation ... it is already so hard making the transition to moving in with your partner but moving in with your partner in a space that's already claimed is another level. Thanks for the relatability - I'm documenting everything over on mine as well ... one day at a time!! we've got this Ro ❤❤

[@fatimawaheed2452]

All of this video is YES. The transition is so hard and not enough people talk about the lonelyness and arguments that comes along with it, going from independent to codependence (not financial or material) just the blending of lives takes a lot of work. Thank you for putting this out there it made me feel seen and heard fr fr. I'm also learning to communicate more gently when frustrated and not project or take my anger out on my partner when things are overwhelming it takes time and practice! Getting married or living with a partner is a real reflection of who we are. Our lives get mirrored in them, its a completely different type of intimate relationship that we don't have with best friends or siblings. But it gets better and more solid with open honest communication. Sending you love ❤

[@kseniab8187]

Such an honest video! Appreciate that you share! ❤

[@hbr6507]

Hi Rowena :) Thank you for always being so honest and authentic and providing us with your perspective on things, whether it's enlightning or just asking yourself questions 🙏 I am not in this situation right now, however I've been living alone for quite some time now and can understand how a change that big would be challenging. When you've been "on your own" for a while, particularly when you've got an independent nature, I feel like you put a lot of time and energy in trying to find ways to organize your life, systems, solutions to deal with things entirely on your own (whether because you don't have a choice or because you don't want to ask other people). So it's only natural that it's so hard to adapt to a situation where you no longer function independently. Not only because you have to take the other person's habits into account, but also because, as you said, there is something inside of you resisting. And maybe (I'm only speaking for myself here) it's because unconsciously a little part of the brain doesn't want to be "melded" with the rest because well we had a system, we know it worked, this is new, we don't know how to make it work, let's stay in a safe place. Whenever I feel insecure about losing myself, what helps is to try and appease it by giving it some room (but not too much) to exist. It could be a little space in the apartment. A specific time only dedicated to yourself doing something you like. Or maybe agreeing with your partner to do one thing using one of your "old" systems (cooking, filing, taking a walk at a certain hour, I don't know). I know however that you're one of the most emotionnaly intelligent person I "know", that you're hugely adaptable and always ready to challenge yourself and evolve, so I have no doubt you'll find ways to deal with this 🖤 Also, I like to keep in mind that since we were born, we had to adapt ourselves to all kind of situations, some of them terrible or incredibly hard, and we always succeeded. You're strong and resourceful, you'll get there this time too 🖤

[@amandarogers6161]

thank you for sharing that, i've been experiencing a very similar situation to what you explained, moving into a space who is already someone else's, feeling like my partner isn't doing enough and having to learn to communicate, its a hassle to say the least, but watching you share that made me feel understood somehow, seen. thank you for that. sending you love.

[@savannahcruz8362]

Blowing up only 4 weeks after.. I need your level of grace 😭😭🙏🏼

[@my5707]

Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings with us!!! ❤️

[@Neige700]

I appreciate your honesty and always being transparent with us. People usually say that the 1st year of living together is very veryyyyy hard. I understand why now... I'm sure it will get better soon. You guys are willing to make it work and to improve individually and as a couple. So keep up the good work. It will get better slowly but surely.

[@Munimuni-lf8jt]

Finally, another dose of motivation🤗🤗🤗You're so genuine Rowena🧡🧡

[@neelam537]

thanks for being so honest and vulnerable in this video!

[@MissK_Tjimune_YouTuber]

I love you Rowena❤️ I’m sorry this transition has been so difficult for you. Thank you for letting us into this side of your life. It’s going to be alright. We grow and learn a lot through discomfort. Please be gentle and kind to yourself.

[@user-qc1hc6kj3d]

please share more of this!! i relate so much

[@amberlee8787]

rowena! thank you for sharing the imperfections in your life :) you don't have to be picture perfect with us

[@joymae]

This is the realest video I've seen on KZbin in a long time

[@natalie6862]

As someone who was married for almost 10 years, I found that these issues didn’t go away and the resentment built. If you have spoken and asked for change but they haven’t taken action, it’s a red flag to watch out for. Obviously I don’t know your ins and outs but I hope he is really listening and taking physical action to make changes, rather than just talking about it. This is just a snippet of your life. But your man is competing with the peace and joy of being in your own company, and that is really hard to beat ❤ Also, it is possible to be a very happy couple who live apart (in the same city)! Have you considered that?

[@beyondthebop]

9:39 "I'm also losing track of time as I'm losing my mind." - very relatable 🤣👌

[@clau_sing_]

I love how the pitch of your voice changes (goes higher) when he is around ❤

[@huyenle2k]

From what you have shared in this video, I have to say that we’re not alone. Neither you, nor me. I have been in a very similar picture as you when we moved in together as partners for 10 days before we got married. And all the most tense dramas went on continuously for several times , everyday, for over the first month. I’m glad that my husband and I have been growing up and old together. And I also appreciate a lot your deep-soul sharing. It makes me feel sympathetic to you.

[@masedi_linda_batsweleng]

I must say, you made me realize somethings about myself, 😂 things i didn't wanna confront but now i actually will. thanks Rowena❤

[@micheburrito6784]

girl yes moving into your partners apartment is so hard, i did it and it was ROUGH. no one understood :( but watching this video made me feel seen. thank u rowww!!!

[@cutekitten12]

I hope u adjust moving and unpacking and i hope moving back home is a fresh restart for you. I also hope u and ur partner are a source of comfort and peace for each other during difficult times. Congrats

[@keziakatherinequilet1181]

1000% feel you, Ro. We're in the same boat. I recently moved into my partner's place & moved to a new country. The transition blew me apart, it was super hard, but v grateful to finally be together after a long time of being in a long-distance relationship.

[@sarahl.3870]

Thank you for sharing. I’m not in this boat but my BF is. So it was super nice and helpful that you shared what he may not feel like he can tell me.

[@shifraisaacs2711]

I needed this so much, thank you

[@pretty.passionate]

I really really needed this. Big Tato thank you

[@TheAyiann]

you two are so cute, i can't!

[@natasjatube]

Thank you for being honest and for being able to look inwards as well. Moving is super stressful to begin with, and I can understand it’s extra difficult to move in with your partner. It’s great that you are communicating together openly now. Also the fact that he is feeding you from his dinner is very hopeful 😄😉 I wish that once you are settled in and maybe decorate the place more together, that things will settle down. And also that you’ll start to feel less lonely 🫶 I’ve been living with my partner for a veeeery long time, but we moved in together, which made the start easier. And we still need to communicate. But it gets easier, because the longer you are together the more you get to understand the other person (and yourself).

[@milkbreadegg]

i bawled at the last part DAMN. i always felt authenticity from you, thank you for being you and sharing these thoughts of yours. thank you for the reassurance at the end 🤍 big hugs ro and jams! EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. :‘)

[@sweetmelody2721]

Thank you for sharing, It really helps me to prepare myself for the next month. I'm like you, if the house is not organised my mind is unclear. I moved countries to study, and in this crazy journey, I met my partner. My studies so far have been a mess, I've been a mess, procrastinating all time, not caring for anything. A lot of loss and feeling lonely, overwhelmed and lost. This year has been challenging, so next month, I'm moving cities and universities, just to be able to live with my partner. Emotionally he's the support I need, although I'm terrible at communicating, I gett frustrated and just cry. Seeing that communication is even more important with moving, I'll work on that. Thank you! I love your videos!!!

[@christine_kaine]

I am 6 months into moving across the country and into my partners home. It gets easier as you weave your belongings in, but it takes a lot of time. Frustrations will continue to bubble up, but keep pushing forward. After some time it will feel like a home you created together. ❤

[@erindonovan6914]

this video was honestly healing to me and my relationship with my partner (i am a rowena and he is a jams)

[@Mograph349]

Love this video, and love you for showing us this! Im in a very similar place reight now and its helpsme a lot

[@elaishh3533]

I believe one day you will look back on this time with the fondness of memories. Life has a funny way of working out like that. Best of luck and positivity to you.

[@shrimp2417]

the silences are so loud in this video lolol

[@LidzSmile5]

Ummm thank you for dropping all the golden nuggets of knowledge! I was taking notes hahaha It is our responsibility to seek, ask, or create these opportunities for connection! 👏🎉

[@karenmabe9819]

It was a huge adjustment for me too. I had an apartment before I got married and my husband had a house, so I moved to his house when we got married. We both struggled for at least six months while we learned what was important to each other.

[@emmamemz6514]

Personally (this is different depending on your beliefs and each person) for me, I feel better having lived with my husband for many years before we married. Before we lived together we only knew the good sides of each other, through our time living together we saw each other at our worsts and learned our love languages and patterns. Living together is a huge adjustment period and it's easy to become more like your child self when you come into conflict. We both learned how to rumble with conflict and how to be kinder and realer with each other

[@miharu9794]

The way you interact with James and your discussions remind me SO MUCH of me and my boyfriend 🤣🤣🤣❤

[@nuttypurrfessor]

Aww the way James was like "I'm more sorry"

[@elliellieelliee]

Something that always helped me communicate with my partner is to get to my core emotion (loneliness, being unheard, frustration) then figure out how to communicate that to them in THEIR language. Sometimes it seems unfair but leading by example can teach them a lot

[@dorothytran2926]

Your vid is so lovely. I’m going through something similar with worrying about my partner moving in and my future 😵‍💫 Rly refreshing to hear your thoughts about loneliness and reliving your younger self’s emotions when you move back home. Also you def convinced me to buy that high tech toaster 😂

[@m0betta]

hi, i just found your page. you remind me so much of myself...thank you. i hope you have a wonderdul day sweets :*

[@mangisty1007]

After 18 years of marriage we still have bumps! Your partner is soooooooo adorably sweet!

[@NinaKiruto]

I just moved into a new place with my partner and it was the same thing, weeks passed and he never really participated in building the new space and i can’t function right without my home in order and it just turned out to me having to create the home and it was so sad because I really wanted it to be a vision of half of us and now it just feels like my home with him living in it kinda and oh wow I’m just dumping all of this here lol thank you for sharing this space for all of us Rowena! ❤🎉

[@olanb9964]

thank you for sharing ❤

[@samiiinsh]

Very relatable, I am also at the same position as you.. :') thanks for sharing, hope you find your people and vibe there sooon✨

[@thejaaan]

I'm so happy seeing you another chapter of your life. I remember watching your old videos about being alone and now you have your partner 🥺🩵

[@dc-13258]

Very insightful to watch this now when my partner will be moving in with me in a few months going from one coast of the US to the other. I already have an established place of residence, and I worry that I'm not doing enough to prepare for their move in with me. I'm also having my niece temporarily move in to help pay the mortgage and worried the impact that would have on both my partner and niece. I know now that I need to have a big sit-down with my niece about the living situation and hopefully hash out more details with my partner. But it is nice to see how feelings and expectations can be communicated and it doesn't have to result in a complete meltdown. Hoping for the best for you and James!

[@Sianaisvlogs]

The timing is perfect perfect perfect😂✨

[@nellyymessy]

🥺🥺🥺 this is so cute rowena

[@DearMegan]

Row I just want to let you know that I can totally relate and you are not alone! I'm about to move out of state to a place I'm not familiar with to close the long distances relationship with my boyfriend. I will be moving in with him and his parents for a few months. I did stay there for 2 weeks before the big move just to gain a better reality and expectation of things. It wasn't pretty and I know it will still be a huge challenge when I'm fully there..I also keep reminding myself of why I'm doing this. I totally understand what you mean by relying on my partner so much, trying to communicate things without getting angry, and having moments of when I feel sad or insecure and I'm taking it out on my partner instead. Moving is already a lot and trying to live with a partner is a huge challenge. But I feel you!