MOVING, SEPARATING, and HEALING | Catch-Up Vlog

[@thatschicblog]

Wow wow wow thank you for sharing your stories and the wave of warmth and love in here. Really love and appreciate you all and just, thank you so much for giving me a platform to express myself

[@susie7336]

Rachel Nguyen I had no clue of your channel until just now. KZbin thinks I will learn some things from you. :) I’m only half way through this video and you’re already a friend in my head. I admire your raw honesty. New subscriber. Love from Oceanside, CA ☀️

[@LayLowize]

wow...last time I saw ur video was when ur moving in and wrote a comment asking when ur getting a dog...what is his name? I think this place will bring you more happiness, I just feel it. You can have it only if u let it. Do not resist whatever is happening in your life. We don't only need happy moments but also sad moments so we can learn and grow and so that we are able to take new steps. Life is always sad first to become happy and then sad again and then happy...patterns of life. That's what makes it so great. I'd be so f***ing bored if I was happy all the time. With a dog like yours, I'd be undefeated. Sending you Love and warm virtual hugs from Paris. x

[@kalyoskie]

ummm... hi rachel.... Carlos with an S here from Warde. my girlfriend and i arent together because we're long distance right now - because of the quarantine. You sent her a misleading DM... I think, that you think, that we were broken up and I was stalking her on Warde or something. NO. I was just sending her love letters "anonymously" ... and now she hates me and Ive been forced to delete my slack... It reinforced my initial feelings on it: it's a girl's club... Warde was so much fun until you felt like "mama was just being a mama" .... ugh ....

[@HH-kg4fq]

Hi Rachel!!! I hope youre well!! Was wondering where you got those boxes at 9:36!💖💖💖💖💖😃😃😃😃😃Thanks in advance if u can reply!

[@patapain0128]

Not to myself : always trust Ashley's recommandations. I love how genuine you are.

[@loissilva2105]

YOU'RE HERE CUZ OF ASHLEY TOOOOO fr she his the best recommendations

[@meer-cz1rs]

Same LOOOL

[@CHERISMAthehillytootsie]

I came after watching Ashley too🙌🏻💕

[@huntermichelle2330]

SAME!!

[@tiredxv]

Ah same !

[@shyamavs4235]

This is a corner on the internet where I feel heard, even without me ever speaking. Love to you Rachel ❤️

[@nataliesoutlet]

Hi 👋🏽 came back to this gem after Jenn mentioned the slow zoom out and I had to rewatch this iconic moment once more. Crazy when she said it I knew EXACTLY what she meant. Simply timeless

[@showtelll]

I find myself coming back to this video every now and again, amazed at the way she portraits moving and its various stages. Her moving places, homes, people and time. Time in this vlog has such a profound effect on the viewer, and the way she utilizes time to deeply impact the viewer with her message is a talent I wish to acquire one day. Her use of music, pacing, storytelling and overall mood create this concoction of a beautiful masterpiece. This vlog might be my favourite one so far on this platform; never in my 19 years of living have I seen so much vulnerability yet... contentment as well? in a 17-minute vlog. I can't even begin to describe how much this vlog impacted me, but I just wanted to air my thoughts out a bit.

[@atesah]

I’m back here rewatching this in late 2023 because of all the reasons you gave and more…. this vlog is really something special. the passage of time, the tumultuous emotions - grief, trauma, relationship breakdown, uncertainty all so perfectly captured and rendered

[@prr3sha]

Me too i love her and ahe certainly has a gift

[@TaylorWilliamsnaturalisttaylor]

Watching again in 2024.

[@damondominique]

you said it! ✨radical acceptance! 💫

[@sylvial3597]

After coming out of a 5 yr abusive relationship I found my love and married him. 6 years later and now with a 1 year old I caught him talking to another girl. Eventhough he assures me there was nothing physical and it was merely ego I feel such shame from it. I can't even talk to anyone because I thought we were the perfect couple. The only thing keeping me sane is my son. Thank you for your vulnerability, been wanting to vent and speak my truth just had nowhere to do it at.

[@maxp3407]

Isn't he allowed to talk to people of the opposite sex? Was it flirtatious? I'd abandon the idea of 'perfect couple'.....those are the worst. And non-existent. There's people who are more suitable for each other than others, but perfect? All that does is put a hell of a lot of pressure on you.

[@sylvial3597]

@@maxp3407 Of course he's allowed to talk to the opposite sex and when I typed "perfect" I meant that I never thought I would have to worry about emotional infidelity. Why is everyone so literal now a days. Yes he was being flirtatious or else there would be nothing for me to worry about. 😒

[@maxp3407]

@@sylvial3597 Difficult to read between the lines or catch on to a 'tone' where there literally is nothing but words, so literal is how I have to take it. That was a genuine question if he was allowed to talk to a girl - could be a weird Mike Pence situation, I don't know that. You didn't specify what the talking was like. And my perfect comment was meant to alleviate the pressure of 'perfect' - because there are people who subsrcibe to the 'everything has to be perfect' reality, and are crushed when it's not. So I meant to say, don't make yourself miserable by aspiring to perfect. What I did not say in my first reply is, when your gut tells you something is wrong, then because there usually is. Hope things get clearer and either the feeling will go away, or you will confront him. Hope he doesn't gaslight you.

[@leylarose6599]

relationships just dont last. Love yourselves and put god first

[@idkuandidwt]

I feel like the replies were just not up to par with what your comment Chives!! If that goes against the commitment you made to one another and agreement you guys made to the relationship you have every right to be hurt and feel a loss of trust. Something that helped me kinda figure out how I felt about the emotional disconnect with my partner was a podcast called Just Break Up. Some of the ppl who wrote in really bel-Ed me put things in perspective and help me decide what was best for me. Good luck and stay safe ♥️

[@demzre]

A friend once told me that people will come in and out of your life. Sometimes it's due to disagreements, sometimes you just grow apart. Other times it's for to unexpected circumstances. But you should always remember to cherish the time and memories you have together, the good and the bad. This is how you'll learn and how you grow as a person. Based on the last 5 minutes on this video, I think you already know this. Though you questioned your own comments, they showed a lot of maturity, care, and wisdom.

[@PoleGirlJess]

Never before have I wanted to fast forward or click to the middle so badly, but knew I had to respect the timing that this video is meant to unfold. I hope you're doing okay, and know that all of us support whatever rate of self-growth you are taking on at this time

[@ashleyviquez5240]

I had the exact EXACT same thought. How very human to want to get to the part that is satisfying without going through the in-between bits.

[@MauraMartz]

deep

[@m3lisha]

I’m at the last minute and only just checked the comment section. My HR is maxed 😩💌

[@thatschicblog]

i love this comment lol and really appreciate that you know me well enough to allow the edits to build. that really means a lot

[@dolker007]

Sending you lots of love Rachel. As a fellow sagittarian and a like minded soul, I can tell you that I grew a lot and became more conscious and re-identified myself and my purpose after ending my 7yr relationship. I think sometimes we need that space or a pause from people to figure shit out. All I can say is, this is just a chapter in ur life, it doesn’t define you. Embrace what your going through, your thoughts, your emotions are valid and just be open to w/e opportunities or situations universe has stored for you. PS. I think this might be my first ever KZbin comment 🙃

[@thatschicblog]

Aw thank you for sharing for your first comment!!!! And agree, a step away to see your life at a birds eye is so refreshing when you feel like you've been struggling to keep your boundaries in tack but don't even know what you're looking at. IDK if that made sense, but I'm seeing it as a visual analogy haha

[@VideosMed2]

These past couple of days I’ve been craving a “Rachel video” and was rewatching the art of loneliness, so this came in the right time! I love how you are so honest and raw with your emotions and your videos always makes me so emotional. Also want to use this opportunity to thank you for the warde community which has been a big point of relief for me during this time. I’ve personally been going through a rough couple of years and most of that time I spent angry and confused for the situations that I was living but this year I finally started to see it for what it is and with that came a necessity for change and action, I don’t know but sometimes you just have to ride the wave of the moment your living in, even if is a bad moment, for things to change and for you to grow.

[@marisacuevas5586]

Just finished watching, and can I just say that I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a connection to someone that I’ve never met but I truly have so much love for you as a person. I’m glad you are staying strong in everything. You were built for it. Stay safe 💖

[@rebeccabrodkey]

I literally just found you because of bestdressed!! So excited to catch up on your videos :)

[@chicji4152]

Omg same!! When Ashley mentioned her name in the recent video, I immediately searched for her channel.

[@alexis8488]

She’s literally the best!!

[@thatschicblog]

that was so sweet of her!!! I love Ashley and her videos so it was such a surprise!

[@MrLakers92]

WELCOME!!!!

[@KarolinaPran]

Same!!

[@vilg703]

This video just made me cry... it somehow, unintentionally.... brought so much clarity to my life... like a song that hits you by expressing exactly how you feel. thank you Rachel thank you, lots of love, and stay safe

[@virginiasanchez8213]

I'm just here to say: I love you Rachel ♥️

[@thatschicblog]

Ily2 🥺

[@giantjungle]

This hit me so hard. I was in a 10-year relationship. We broke up a year ago and it's still really hard for me. What you said at the end was beautiful and that's exactly how life ebbs and flows. Your video made me miss California so badly. I'm a born and raised Californian, but after my break up I moved to a different state to be closer to my family that moved here and man do I miss my home state. I wish I went through my break up with as much grace as you did. I wish I had "radical acceptance" at that time. But I guess, I needed more space from it to see it better. I was a little more reactionary and I regret that a lot. I'm still growing and it was a huge lesson learned. Wishing you all the best. You have a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing your story. It made me feel less alone in this world. Especially, when everyone in my life is in a relationship and try not to talk about relationship stuff in front of me thinking they will just upset me. So, I just care on the best I can.

[@TyanaAshleigh]

I cannot stress this enough. Rachel’s videos make me FEEL. That’s it. And I love it

[@elisalozano3078]

Hi Rachel, your honesty in this video is admirable. I just got out of an abusive relationship and am currently going through the healing process while in quarantine and as it has been EXTREMELY hard there are some good days and I am so so grateful to be able to discover myself and who I am after 4 years. I'm rooting for you and this journey, sending you lots of love, light and positivity and if you have a mailing address still I'd love to send you some snail mail

[@TheKanlyn]

I also just got out of a 4yr relationship which was incredibly abusive (I believe my ex was a narcissist). Quarantine has been hard but at the same time, I'm grateful that I'm able to go through the healing process alone as it forces me to focus on me and me only. Sending love to you, I know we'll come out of this so much stronger and wiser.

[@imchristinac]

Sending you lots of love ❤️

[@elisalozano3078]

@@TheKanlyn Sending you love wherever you are

[@thatschicblog]

Aw, sending all of you guys love and light as you venture into a new (and hopefully refreshing) chapter of your lives! I hope you all find closure in the process, and I'm so glad I've been able to be with you in your 20s. Here's to our 30s!!!! x

[@audreylove3140]

@@TheKanlyn I am also recovering from an abusive relationship with a narcissist as well and it is so incredibly hard especially during pandemic/quarantine time. I can't even go outside and live life. My heart goes to you both and all people going through pain and suffering at this time.

[@waffle_88935]

Went thru a very similar situation re: the ending of a nearly 7 year long relationship. I can relate to that difficulty articulating it all, so much nuance when you've loved and been in relationship with someone for that long...it's so tough to say goodbye to those hopes and dreams but I've found it to be a huge opportunity for personal growth and getting to know myself as an individual (especially in isolation) and I hope you've found some joy and growth thru it somehow too!

[@yj6118]

It’s been a rough couple months for everyone, but I appreciate you still coming out and sharing some of your experiences. I imagine it’s not always easy to relive the hard moments. Love your vulnerability and openness Rach, you inspire me always to be more emotionally in tune with myself! ❤️ Forgot to add, love the editing on this one!

[@thatschicblog]

did you already finish it~?!

[@yj6118]

Rachel Nguyen admittedly I hadn’t yet, but thank you for keeping it real. sorry life’s been hard for you mamas, it sort of feels like the universe has it out for a lot of us right now :/ hoping it only gets better from here! (also v excited about the work I’ve seen u working on for WNRS)

[@thatschicblog]

hahaha I was just teasing, but I'm glad you like it and yes, I'm excited about my WNRS projects too :)

[@dimitrisk.3185]

I'm amazed by how many people had a relationship for about 7 years.... Cause I'm leaving a 7yr relationship too and it's been sooo so so difficult. I've encountered some of the darkest days of my life and I'm still in the thick of it. But watching your video it does help me remind myself that it will pass. All hardships pass eventually. Thank you for this beautiful video.

[@naomibarrales3039]

I came back to this video because I feel like I’m going through the same process. So many life changes and relationship changes. It’s comforting to know that someone can relate to my situation. You give me hope.

[@francescanault7020]

Feel like this video was a sign for me. I'm suppose to be graduating uni this year and I had a job lined up after graduation. But now, since corona happened everything has been cancelled. It is hard to look to the future.. when it feels so unclear. This video not only made me cry but also made me realize that life goes on. Specifically at 11:28 when you say "C'est la vie. It is what it is. We will find our way. Things happen for a reason. I really believe that". I believe that to. I believe this video popped up for me to see. Thank you for sharing your raw emotion. Wishing you all the best. Life goes on! xx F

[@colorfullightningtv]

Oh Rachel, you're such a highlight always on my youtube feed. Thank you for sharing with us that life indeed has it's ups and downs..But, I can tell you're a strong woman and have all the courage it takes to grow from it. I can also feel the fellow Sag energy in you.. Let us all appreciate the beauty of Spring and the renewal that comes with it for everyone. Glad to know that you feel happy in your new space. Time heals always!

[@vashappeninlainey]

Céline hello I am genuinely curious what ‘I feel the fellow Sag energy in you’ means i.e that you’re getting from her video? cheers!

[@colorfullightningtv]

@@vashappeninlainey Hi Elaine, by that I mean that I can feel the spirit and energy Rachel has. She took her time in sharing quality and not quantity when sharing her emotions..She's very honest.. I also mean that Sagittarius's are very strong and independent people that can embrace change and I can very much see that in her as well.. hope it helps:) also if it was formulated strange it's because my mother tongue is french haha

[@vashappeninlainey]

Céline hiya! I just stumbled upon this vid again and saw your reply. Firstly, thank you! Your comment is well put don’t worry about it. (: I am a sag and a tad interested in astrology I guess??? Hahaha still skeptic but honestly enlightened with what you said. Anyhoo, safe on your end gal x

[@elisha_kl]

change in inevitable, growth is intentional. over the years of watching you, youve truly blossomed. it’s bittersweet for things to end but great things await you Rachel! Thank you for keeping us up to date 💗

[@danielaajeann]

The grace you carry through such difficult transitions in your life, wow. It's just incredibly admirable. Sending you BIG love!

[@AccordingtoAndrea]

rachel, i can’t imagine how hard it must have been to go through all the past footage from those difficult moments. always love your vulnerability and willingness to share with us. wishing you healing ❤️❤️❤️

[@janefurlong8848]

It's hard for me to articulate the way your lens for life makes me feel. You're a treat to virtually know. Thank you!

[@CharVillena]

I've been following your journey for so long and I just want you to know that I appreciate you. For simply being you. I know it's been so rough for us all, and we're going through this uncertain time differently. One thing that has been helping me is telling myself that, "what's meant for be, will always be." If it's for me, I don't have to chase or stress over it. It'll come to me no matter what. Just keep doing what you love, trust the process and everything will fall into place when it's supposed to. So much love ❤️

[@hannym6926]

Rachel, sometimes I believe that the Universe is trying to tell me something whenever you upload a vlog. I remember how a few years ago your How to Be Alone video gave me the enlightenment that I need it from a big sis sort of figure when I was going through a friendship breakup and it changed my perspective in being alone and figuring myself out in a foreign country. Then I saw the thumbnail to this video today and sure enough I needed to hear about letting go and healing and moving on as I just went through a big transition myself. I hope you are doing well and life is treating you with love and kindness and blessings, and thank you for giving it to us too!

[@purpleunicorn5769]

really appreciate your honesty and openness in talking about the difficult periods you've been through in the past few months, as well as the happy moments. It's the norm to only show the good things and the times when we're happy and make it seem like its all sunshine and rainbows for us on social media/in vlogs, so I love that you didn't leave out or brush aside the parts that made you sad or that were painful. The way you've presented your life and your experiences feels so real and so refreshing, I'm looking forward to your future videos! stay healthy and safe

[@nabistay8]

Hey Rachel, I know how you’re feeling. I went through a similar situation recently. Moving between 3 living situations, that same transition and also that in between time where you’re staying at a friends place. I don’t have a significant other but in place of that I have a very important 17year friendship that has been put on the rocks by life and I’m also processing that fallout of that as well. I feel like I’m in the same place as you, and your video really spoke to me. You really showed utmost poise and candor in making and sharing this video and it’s refreshing to see and hear your take on the situation you’re in and going through. Thank you for the videos you make which are so creative and well thought out and capture the essence of the moments in your life. You’re not alone, watching this video I said to myself, “we’re all going thru it aren’t we?” my last year has been very similar in the big life changes department. Just wanted to send you love, validation, and understanding 💛

[@denisedawson5973]

This made me cry. Your vulnerability is incredibly relatable and your willingness to share that shows how strong you are. I can barely cry in front of my friends, and always say "i'm ok, its fine" Thank you for sharing your strength

[@poopoo81]

I just wanted to say thank you. I just recently broke it off with someone I love. He wasn’t for me. Or at least ready to be with the person I’ve worked hard to become. So I had to let him go. Watching you over the years I’d find myself asking why I couldn’t find someone like you were with Weston. I was very aware that we only see milliseconds of day to day moments, but sometimes we wish we had what others have when we don’t have it. When I heard you say you two weren’t together it made me feel a little less alone. I admire a lot of what you do on these videos, it inspires me to do things I never think of doing, like taking a trip with myself or just being open about things that are hard to say. So thanks for unintentionally making someone feel less alone on this Friday evening.

[@catherineodonoghue9971]

These times are hard. I've been living with my boyfriend for the past few months, it's been so difficult. Anxiety is through the roof, and I 100% get the need for space, the need to breath alone for a while. I feel like there are a lot of pressures from a lot of places, but your strength is clear and it radiates to so many people❤️

[@ajl2232]

Move.

[@yurucheng1644]

Rachel, first of all, thanks for sharing this journey with us. My boyfriend and I are also recovering from living in a house full of mold. It’s been almost a year since we moved out. We’ve been putting 100% of our effort on healing to prevent long term damage. We both carry the particular type of gene (HLA) that makes our body having more trouble eliminating the effect of the mold. I can totally relate to many many feelings you’ve shared in this video. Frustration, sadness, physical discomfort.... The relationship between him and I are definitely affected because of all the mental challenge that comes with this condition. Some mold illness experts call this “the Divorce syndrome”. I just hope everything is getting better now. Hopefully you body and mind are recovering quicker than ours :) I want you to know that my thoughts are with you. If you need and resource or help regarding the recovery, I will be more than happy to share with you. Sending you lots of love

[@thatschicblog]

whoa that is crazy! I think Wes might have that gene too, he was really immobilized the time we were there. It's scary to think of the long term effects too. I hope you guys get out of your mess soon, it's not a fun place to be. Thank you for sharing with us

[@tigrestripekneez]

Rachel, I don’t really have the words right now but sending you love and gentleness as you navigate healing and life. Thank you for sharing yourself all these years and making this space on the internet feel real when it consistently feels diluted of authenticity and genuine connection. There really isn’t anyone like you. There were periods I would run one of your vlogs in the background of me getting ready for work and starting my day and they gave me great joy and appreciation for the day to day occurrences that you’ve beautifully documented time and time again. The current situation we’re all experiencing on some level has shown me that we’re witnessing the true nature of this life - there is much unknown and it ebbs and flows in every moment. I’ve been reading Pema Chodron’s ‘Things fall apart’ and maybe it could be of some support to you, too. Take care of yourself

[@damianryce3588]

Not sure if he was edited this way, but judging on Weston's 'too cool for school' persona, I am not suprised. He appeared to have zero interest in your career/social media pursuits, and complained about everything you liked/did/said/thought (refer to vacay vids). You had much more chemistry with Bobby in 2 videos (who was atleast a good sport about your vlogging) than all your time recorded with Weston. Oh and on a positive note... you seem independent and strong. Better to learn now and for both of you to open yourselves up to things better suited to you.

[@Babyrafacapricornmonster]

This probably doesn’t relate to the specifics of the video real hard but it felt like watching a grieving process so that’s what I thought about. I feel like when people grieve the loss of anything, it’s difficult when someone grieves differently than you. Sometimes It feels like that person didn’t “care as much” or whatever else we assume about them, and those misunderstandings can be so drastic that we can’t deal with the changes we see when the grieving transforms us. Surrendering to grief is transformational in ways that sometimes make it hard to look back. (Just re read this and realized I was self projecting!)

[@sarahhawkinson]

missed you and your videos so much Rachel! your strength is so inspiring, and I appreciate you taking us on this journey with you. thank you for always being so candid and open ❤️

[@michelleneous]

It's so rare that people can be as honest and raw as you Rachel, not to mention on the internet and publicly. You are so brave and open and that's what makes me look up to you so much. I've been going through some ups and downs with my partner as well and I know that in these ebbs and flows of a relationship (and life itself), we've hurt each other but still love each other. What you said about how we grow here, there, intertwining and apart, that really resonated with me and provided me with some comfort that things are going to be fine. Life, or the universe, isn't out to get us. It's helping us discover, heal, and grow.

[@cockroachpollenshrimpdog]

been with you for the past 5 - 6 years. and youve brought so much joy and peace with your delicate framing of the window into your life. i hope that we, your viewers, can give back a bit of that to you in your time of healing and self love and discovery. it is what it is

[@Eileray]

😭 omg I love you and west, I cried a little. I hope things work out. Thank you for being honest with us and sharing with us what is life. This is why I have been a fan since the beginning. You are so real, the way you go about life is something I thrive for. Accepting things, acknowledging them and moving forward. Sending you much love. 💕

[@georoquev]

As soon as I heard the piano... I started to cry. Beach house represented what I thought was one of the toughest times in my life but ended up holding the most beautiful memories. Love them! Stay Gold Rachel!

[@Erica-vy7ol]

Thanks for always for being so open and vulnerable, even with the things that are maybe tougher to talk about or were harder to go through. Thanks for always sharing your light!!

[@Georgiana400k]

Hey Rachel I remember you gave me some relationship advice on instagram a long time ago and that helped me alot at the time, I am really grateful for that. I am living proof that no matter what, everything is going to work out just fine in the end. And also, there is no end, it doesnt get there. We just grow stronger and stronger and we keep going. Lots of love for you!

[@dianaonate4163]

This is one of those stories which is sad but uplifting at the same time. Break-ups are hard, let alone during the lockdown where travelling would have been the best way to cope if you are like me, but you were somehow made to stay put and process things with most forms of distraction muted. Maybe that helps in actually feeling out the emotions and as the Greeks say, “ta panta rhei kai ouden menei”, “everything flows” so just let them flow. I love your videos. I love how poignant and uplifting they are. Blessed be!

[@yingtingneoh7118]

Take heart Rachel, we consciously learn/pick ourselves up again and again. Stay safe!

[@meghanimiola6358]

this made me cry! i'm so sorry you had to go through so much over these last months. you're one of the most special and inspiring people that i've come across in all my years watching youtube and this beautiful video is no exception. thank you for sharing your journey with us. wishing you all good things ahead

[@rosegittell4193]

Rachel, going through a big move right now, feeling so up in the air. I remembered this video and came back and watched it, and it's incredibly inspiring to uplift me through this time

[@nataliecurriee]

going through similar relationship situations with loved ones around (&not around) i’m so grateful to have found your channel when i did, the ability to understand what’s happening amongst us collectively is hard to articulate as you said- however, sharing is very important , healing in itself. you are not alone, no one ever is ☺️ sending love. x

[@Karolina-xf9ff]

I just found you because of Ashley (bestdressed if you're reading this I love you my little sunshine) and I'm really grateful, you are beautiful and special soul i can feel it. I hope you doing well, stay happy and safe, regards from Europe. ❤️

[@SevenDaysofStyleNY]

Holding back tears the whole time I watched this..going to have a glass of wine and let it all out. Stay well and I'll be thinking of you and look forward to your next update. I see you respecting your journey and I will stay positive that the outcome will be alright for you both. Love your dog:)) xoxo

[@GenevieveKang]

This was so lovely, thank you for sharing. I'm sometimes conflicted by the way we share so much of ourselves nowadays via mediums like vlogging or Instagram or other social media outlets -- but this is such a positive for me in why it can be so beneficial and important. You are so honest and transparent (I've never come across you before until this video popped up randomly as a suggested video to watch!). Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing your truth. It's human, and more personally, it really hits home to some of what I'm currently experiencing in my own life. How life (and relationships) can look on the outside or to the public eye is often not how they are behind closed doors or in privacy. Thank you! x

[@michelle.tuv.nguyen]

you're so strong raych. the fact that you were able to go thru all that footage, select and compile this w an analysis for us shows that you have been able to move forward, even if it is so slow to you in your mind. most people move past by avoiding the memories, or at least i do, cos it's so anxiety inducing

[@sometimeslilith]

i tried not to cry, i tried. we all needed this, we all need this strong, amazing, beautiful woman in our life. we love you Rachel, we will be ok 💜

[@StyleMaven16]

Rachel you are SUCH a beautiful storyteller and you may not think so but you have such a unique way with words, especially for describing feelings/thoughts/ideas that are often very hard to put into words. Sending you all the love & support in the world right now!! My mum always says people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime and I wholeheartedly believe all our relationships, no matter how big or small, short or long, mean something. She also reminds me that sometimes people come into our lives because they need us for something too. So hopefully that can help you find some comfort in knowing that regardless of what happens going forward, you both were right for each other when you had each other & gave one another so much that you might not even realize. 💞❤️ Stay well, stay safe.

[@prittyyyy]

Your attitude with life is so admirable, honestly! You are such a great person and you are teaching us how to live life as it goes, with everything it has for us. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being so honest.

[@sippingjuice]

This video moved me in ways I've not been moved in months but have been dearly craving. Thank you for being so raw and real. My admiration and respect for you only grows with each video you put out!

[@jessicahurtado7651]

Going through a huge life transition as well. Facing divorce after 7-8 years and also still together with SO because of this virus. His lifestyle has us living in Okinawa so I feel even more isolated. I thought the new cultural experience would bring us closer together but we have a lot of growing to do as well and past struggles that we can’t seem to get through. I hope I can gracefully accept this situation, as you’ve tried to do for yourself and grow from this. Plus the forced time together had us learning to have hard conversations which both of us avoid like the plague lol I’m ready to put 2020 on the shelf FOR GOOD

[@juliaforsley2637]

Rachel, your videos are so incredibly refreshing and always relatable. I swear every time I watch one of your videos it’s like hitting a reset button. Feels like a fresh start. Thanks for always being so open and honest with us and creating such beautiful videos💖

[@huziaks]

You may think you aren’t the best at articulating how you feel through words but I definitely feel what you are feeling through every video you make. 🌈

[@carolinepatterson4842]

I’ve been having the worst day and honestly you made it that much better. Watching someone be emotionally vulnerable on this platform is rare and I really really appreciate. Thank you Rachel.

[@honeyjam9593]

phew, i felt your emotions through the screen. you've been through so much ! i am glad you're taking it slow and healing. time is really the main thing that helps healing.

[@angofftheclock]

Hi Rachel, thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. I’ve been a silent viewer for awhile and although you’ve undergone so many transitions, I think you also exude so much strength and it’s awesome continuing to grow with you. Much love from oakland 💛

[@FashAveGirl]

Thanks for this video, it literally came right on time. I'm going through something similar, and its not easy especially during a pandemic. Life changes are abrupt, hard, sometimes good, but you can do nothing but keeping moving forward to get through it. We all have expectations and ideas of what we think and wish to happen but in the end shit happens and you may be let down. Thank you for sharing rachel, and most importantly thank you for always being vulnerable.

[@mimimochi]

hi rachelll I am currently 15 y/o, i jus wanted to say that i rly look up to u. Obviously no one is as put together and perfect as they seem, but you are definitely a big inspiration to me. ily!

[@jupitired777]

when I read the title I sort of knew it was coming but it was so emotional and heartbreak to witness. I've grown to love u and Wes and your Christmas/birthday vlogs, sending you so much love

[@aliciamariko7355]

I just got out of my 5+ year relationship w my boyfriend before quarantine too and the circumstances have not been conducive to having the right headspace/mindset to try to bring my life back together but it has also given me time to really stare back at myself and think about what I want. I’m so sorry things have been so tough for you. Sending love

[@thendoraphalalani7653]

The way you told this story on a timeline!!! Amazing... dare I say, UNMATCHED QUALITY CONTENT

[@nnbk_fornow]

I just wanted to say how much I love your videos. I've been a subscriber since very early on, and actually knew you originally through your blog, but I'm usually a silent viewer. It's been an absolute privileged to have witness your growth as a person, a woman, and as a creative. This platform is tricky. Even though KZbin has such an international outreach and has become so incredibly important to our everyday lives, people still tend to scoff at it as a legitimate source of media. You have created and built your own little corner in this overwhelming space. There is a feeling of "found family" within this community that you've embraced. I love how you style and edit your videos as it is so different from other videos of it's kind. You've done a spectacular job over the years, and I don't know if this will mean anything, but I am so proud of you. Even though I know it can be so difficult, I hope you continue to allow yourself to be vulnerable and create. For your own peace of mind or even just for fun! All is welcomed.

[@sunshinesparklesx]

My heart ached for you watching this and also made me feel comforted by your honesty and wonderful outlook on these unexpected challenges. Thank you for sharing, it's beautifully put together. Sending you love & hope this all leads to better things soon 💞

[@nataliewong5291]

Hi Rachel! This video broke my heart because I've always thought that you and Wes complemented each other and worked as a couple in a way that I've never really seen in other couples. But, like you said, everything happens for a reason right? I am also a firm believer in that, and with everything that is going on, please know that you're definitely not alone in facing uncertainties and disappointments in this current pandemic. I'm also in a situation where I feel rather helpless but I think what helps is prioritizing my own mental health and doing things that make me feel happy and taken care of. I hope you continue to stay strong and practice radical acceptance in all that is to come. You have a whole community right here (and Warde) to support you, and I think I speak for everyone when I say - I love you ❤️

[@arsu3731]

the last few months were really hard for me as well, I struggled so much with my mental/physical health, I was afraid and hesitated about asking for help, which made it more difficult, I'm getting better but still need time to sort things and muster up the courage. I just wanted you to know that we can relate and understand what you went through, stay strong Rachel and take your time 💖 love you

[@thatschicblog]

so sorry to hear, glad sharing a window of my life can offer perspective in yours. I hope you get the help you need! We can all use help, someone to talk to, all the facets of humanity and connectivity really

[@gomligs7470]

Stay safe and sane. I always look forward to your videos. Your channel is a kind of therapy for me. Thank you.

[@lorenasaopaulo1332]

Watching your Chanel has brought me so much joy and comfort these past weeks, bcs I'm feeling so lonely and afraid that things won't back to normal in this quarantine, but when I open my computer to watch your videos while drinking a cup of tea, I feel like I'm myself again and everything will pass. thank u, srsly I love your work!

[@sarikathakorlal]

Hi Rachel 💓 I can definitely say from personal experience that sometimes when we have things to sort out in our selves, we cant always do that with the person we love by our side; sometimes both parties have to go away and sort their own shit out and go into the world as themselves, not "us" or "we", to press the reset button, and get back on the right path on their own. I think we change so much in the formative years we spend with that one special person, that sometimes you can wake up and find yourselves not compatible. After 10 years with someone, we spent a year apart, and then found our way back together, and now we're even stronger than before, even though I never thought that was possible. If its meant to be it will be, but given the extreme challenges you've both been facing, I wouldnt be surprised if just some time to breathe, reboot and reconnect was all you really needed. And yes, no one else can know or understand what it is to be you and Wes. Sending love 💕 🙏

[@BillyHuynh94]

RACHEL... thank you so much for sharing yourself during these hard times. I'm typing this with tears in my eyes, for you and your journey, but also because I'm going through the same situation right now with my boyfriend. We've been together for 3 years and in a lot of ways, you and Wes have always reminded me of myself and my boyfriend (I'm you in this case, obvi!)... just last week we decided to separate, out of a mutual respect and acceptance for the fact that we were no longer growing together, but rather individually, and apart. I've been a rollercoaster of emotions the past 7-ish days, oftentimes asking myself "is this the right choice? what if we regret this? what if we lose our friendship?" and I've come to realize in deep meditation that I am just speaking from attachment... I just don't want to let go. I want to hold on just a little longer. I try to rationalize the options, and I don't know which hurts more, holding on or letting go, but I do know that letting go invites change. And growth. And a closer connection to your true self. And that's the path I have to choose. Thank you again for sharing this, I imagine it must have been difficult to edit and watch and post, so thank you. Stay safe and light.

[@samarayared7183]

The beach house song 🥺💖

[@mmmmikah]

I love the way you portray your emotions through video, both in montages, and speaking. The way you're dealing with these big life changes with such wisdom and grace is also really admirable. I wish much happiness your way :)

[@RACHELLOVECOKE]

I don't think I can say anything particularly comforting, but thank you for sharing this time and these moments with us. The past few months have been a wild ride for you, not just from the break with Wes but I can't imagine having to move from place to place like that without feeling any sort of vertigo or grief. I'm sending big hugs and love.

[@annaivymariscal5176]

This was so lovely, I watched it twice. I have so many things that I've been having to figure out lately and your vulnerability and honesty really touched me. Thank you for this!

[@sendingoodvibes]

Awww sending so much love to you Rachel. Similarly, recently my ex and I reunited and whilst the past me was incredibly excited and happy it was happening, something felt so off. It was all pleasantries and kindness but I knew we were new versions of ourselves and the part of me that was yearning and aching for something of the past to happen again didn't seem to come up after a while, I was somehow comforted and empowered in the current feeling of solitude and contentment in almost letting it simmer down and pass. All this change has shown me that we are all constantly changing beings and we will always surprise ourselves somehow in how we feel about something. I am still surprised I am in a place of being ok and happiness with myself. Like you, its a growing journey, and a winding one at that. And all we can do is walk ourselves through it and wait & listen to what ourself needs - pausing, detouring, etc. Hoping you're doing okay Rachel, and as always loving your videos

[@koolaidcloud216]

Your videos have always brought me so much comfort, Rachel. Hang in there ❣️❣️

[@cambroslice]

First you are so strong and brave! Humans can be amazing and resilient and vulnerable and you have proven this. We are all here for each other!

[@Bonjourdimanche]

Sending you lots of love Rachel💖. You are strong and resilient and will get through this. I’m older than you but you are so wise beyond your years and a true inspiration. I teared up when you said “ radical acceptance”. I’ve been going through a tough time with my health since last year and this was a reminder that even though times get tough, accepting life for what it is and taking time to heal and grow is one of the bitter sweet things in life.

[@minahseo6270]

Rachel~~~ you are such a dear and free soul -- I hope you are finding moments of joy and freedom and happiness in your life that may have otherwise not been there in these circumstances. Thank you for being so raw and genuine always -- that is something that we can constantly look forward and feel that we can do that in our lives in our own ways of expression. Take time to heal in the ways you need to - you've definitely been through so so much in a short amount of time, and not to dwell in hardship, but mental energy takes time to renew. You spoke very maturely and thoughtfully throughout the whole video, and i hope you konw that you have such a gift for expression through this medium and through Warde. Let US know if you need anything

[@thatschicblog]

Omg I just choked up at your last sentence 😭😭😭 thank you thank you I didn’t know I needed to hear that

[@Viechlover]

I have been adjusting a lot since last year and none of my friends have been going through something like this. (Same like you travelling a lot, new place, new job, got a scholarship, a separation, except that I have a little son) Thank you so much for sharing - I felt like nobody is going through this!

[@miop8293]

Yes I’m here on Ashley recommendation and am not disappointed. Thank you Ashley and hello Rachel Glad to have found you. So real, love love the video, musics and will be seeing a lot of you too Thank you

[@connietaoli8432]

Hi Rachel, thanks for sharing your life in your video. I have watched your videos for the past few years and grown to love your work. I just want to say that you are still who you are and shall be loved for who you are regardless of what happens in relationships. Take care❤️

[@wabisabipapi7040]

The introspective queen! I always appreciate your videos because you take your time. From following this channel over the years, I know that after the pause you release and share so eloquently. Thank you for allowing us into your delicate and real eco system 🌹✨

[@jinsup_lim]

You didn't need to share your situation, but thank you for sharing your life like this! I really appreciate it. :) You are very brave to do that!

[@alexis8488]

wow this upload MADE my day...rachel is so refreshing it’s crazy what watching a video does!

[@thezengirl3685]

Discovered your channel this morning, and am in love with how raw, genuine and just simply “cool” you are! You have got something so special in you!

[@maisieannxx]

Hi everyone - I'm going through a very painful and sudden breakup of a long term relationship and suffering with some serious grief and heartache. Videos like this are making me feel less alone, allowing me to absorb and acknowledge the grief but feel hope for the future. Can anyone suggest any similar vlogs/videos which have helped them? Things which are very real, don't feel too 'happy' or 'sad', just realistic and authentic. Thank you. P.s: Rachel I love you videos, i am revisiting this one now as it feels particularly relevant. Thank you for your content.

[@vbncml]

Hi Maisie, if it is still relevant for you. Ashley's (bestdressed) video about how she learned to love being single has helped me a lot. Hope you find it helpful 🍀

[@K__u__z__a]

Rachel, wow. Your vulnerability in all of your videos, but ESPECIALLY THIS ONE is so special. Thank you for sharing. You are so wise, and self-aware, and the resistance you have to whatever absurd normalities the average person assumes about another person, especially when it comes to relationships, is so admirable. With that being said, I'm excited for you! I can't wait to continue watching and following along to see who you'll grow into out of this experience. I was also in a seven year relationship and feel like we went through similar emotions (although I obviously don't know anything about what your relationship was, I feel like I can relate which is another gentle reminder of this beautiful community you've built). Anyway, I know you know life carries on, you're making it through. Continue to be gentle with yourself, and thank you for this video.

[@mangogirlruth]

Everyone has their own story of pain and I love your way of accepting, growing and letting go. When you let the universe take a hold of life it really makes it a bit easier to live✨ having my fair share of guilt and sadness it really took a lot to understand not everything is in my control and I am okay with that 💫 thank you for sharing your story to us 💗

[@constantblossoms]

I’m going through some similar things now and I completely feel you. Sending you so much love & light, we will get through this ❤️

[@pgshe]

I needed this one. I got laid off about 3 hours ago. I’m lucky... I have a family that loves me, I have the means to weather this a little... but it still stung ... especially at a time like this. Rachel, I was really inspired by your 30x30 list last year. I’m coming up on my 30th in a year and some change so I took the time to make my own. If there’s any time to tackle some of things on it... now would be it! I will let myself be sad and sit in this for a while, but I will also let myself grow from this! Thank you for your vulnerability. Shit certainly hits the fan. But I believe in us a lot.

[@pratishtha20]

Thank you for being so unhinged and honest with what you're going through - that is truly brave and definitely an inspiration to others to acknowledge their truth instead of avoiding and hiding behind it...Also love how you string your thoughts together with video and music and you! Lots of good wishes to you..take care !