Russian Naval blunders are stranger than fiction

[@koalaquests5754]

Hello my fellow friends who love scary videos like me 😎❤️ edit: Mr bean on a ship 9:13

[@MrBallen]

Well done!!!!

[@xxtrmplayz]

Isa very nioce

[@CartoonWeasel]

How the f did yoh find it 47 min ago??m Found it 15min ago and didnt see any other comments about it before me. Was here when video was posted 30 sec. Damn lol

[@koalaquests5754]

TY IM A HUGE FAN ❤️

[@CartoonWeasel]

Next time i wont listen to story first and then look lol

[@alexantoniades5416]

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" -Rozhestvensky probably

[@raymundoserna3449]

"I thought u were surrounded by cotton candy gummy bears" probably one of his sunburnet

[@jreschke5]

Probably haha

[@markhonea2461]

The captain - 'I am ruled by an inbred idiot who has zero experience at doing anything.'

[@likebutton655]

Most likely

[@Burninator353]

He was probably so happy to be taken prisoner. And probably asked if he could stay. "Don't send me back, whatever you do don't send me back!"

[@IDK-uu9mt]

There are 2 things certain in life: 1) Death 2) It isn’t a Japanese torpedo boat

[@quite_strangerous1022]

Good stuff

[@whalienpippa]

3) Until that ONE time, it actually is a Japanese torpedo boat, then mistake for a Russian fishing boat

[@Dira7411]

@@whalienpippa lmaooooo

[@funsyde6318]

until it really was and they thought it was a fishing bout

[@kctjohnson]

What happened to taxes? Lol

[@CoolingKhan]

This is literally a personification of “you had one job”

[@sherellemiller202]

exactly

[@Zlics]

What comes to mind from this story would be training a guy for months to fight someone just for the fight to start and that guy you trained for months throws a month and misses badly and knocks himself out in the process of missing badly.

[@nathanjones6638]

I feel bad for the guy in charge. He took one look and knew in his heart of hearts that this was a fool's errand. And I feel like the captain of the Kamchatka was just not pleased to be on this mission in the first place, and acted on that frustration by trolling the Admiral.

[@weirdheriawan]

or "I'm surrounded by Idiots!"

[@crwnofenlightenment]

Lol

[@Haunted_Peru]

This story gets better and better with each telling and hearing. They should make a movie out of it.

[@garywilburn7384]

This would be the funniest war movie ever 🤣 😂 💀 😭

[@gabriellashimone6546]

It would be a great military comedy.

[@socogremlin]

Wes Anderson style or taika watiti Jojo rabbit style?

[@staceygrant7217]

Omg yes! And I want Will Ferrell!

[@raehenry3522]

The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming, is a movie from early '70s, and filmed on Catalina island, CA, comes to mind.

[@wadekernan514]

Disclaimer: No Japanese torpedo boats were harmed in the making of this story.

[@wheniwasokinawa7610]

The irony 😅😅✋

[@thaliar7028]

😄😄

[@Chapsikan2801]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@myTERAexperience]

🤣 you killed me. 💀

[@vincentmansell5374]

That's gold

[@natashamhone2232]

The admiral had the patience of a saint.... Imagine being at sea for 7 months and dealing with complete idiots..

[@zacharyengle4256]

I'd have jumped overboard if I had to deal with these people for seven months, and taken my chances with the ocean even though I can't swim.

[@BD-1-And-Only]

The intelligence of a Redditor lol

[@RustyNips]

I thought for sure as he decided to teach them to actually hit their targets that some other wars would start from them sinking random fishermen

[@jackashe3971]

It's called incompetence.

[@moodkxllz7355]

Imagine have the ability and self control to not choke that captain out.

[@The12brother]

I lost my shit when he said “they accidentally sent the message do you see Japanese torpedo boats.”

[@SophiaAstatine]

Same. That was when I knew it was going to go hilariously wrong.

[@frankievalentine6721]

Same

[@piercemeador1448]

Same I’m pretty surprised how dumb that fleet was they Won themselves and Darwin Award

[@robertdemon3550]

On that ship they wore sailor hats folded from newspaper.

[@logang6583]

That put the biggest fucking smile on ky face 😂

[@keymaster430]

If "I am my own worst enemy" was a naval fleet.

[@jenn2839]

"We're okay" Autocorrect: "Do you see Japanese torpedo boats?"

[@Laura-bs2hw]

🤣🤣

[@delaplanemusic]

Best part

[@Cec9e13]

I screamed incoherently so many times. This was one of them.

[@RickySanchez77]

They had one job lol 😂😂

[@davidayers9505]

At this point in the video I started laughing so hard. My face and abs hurt now, my cheeks and beard are wet, and my wife looks concerned

[@suzanvaughn4522]

It would seem the most important training exercises should’ve been, “How to identify a Japanese torpedo ship.”

[@MrRyumaru]

You mean a Russian fishing boat?

[@suzanvaughn4522]

@@MrRyumaru No. I’m pretty sure they saw plenty of those! 🤣

[@MrRyumaru]

@@suzanvaughn4522 nah only one at the end

[@huyra8019]

Warthunder makes it even harder lol

[@jeremyeaston3105]

@@suzanvaughn4522 thank you so much for your sense of humor in both responses haven't laughed so much at a comment in a while...pure gold👍

[@mortalkomment7954]

The fact that you could put all of this in a movie, use nothing but the truth, and it'll STILL be in the comedy genre is hitting me so hard LOL

[@ericaz1458]

😂 fucking hilarious. I could see Jack black captaining the rodifinski ( how ever the hell you spell that)

[@donnagaffron2897]

Right 😛

[@donnagaffron2897]

@@ericaz1458 so so funny, but sad too.

[@senseisaitama8684]

I find this hard to believe, sounds like something America made up for laughs

[@SirDankleberry]

@@senseisaitama8684 Never underestimate the stupidity of peasants.

[@WillitResolve]

One of my favorite parts about this story is how the perpetually-composed John Ballen is struggling to keep from laughing.

[@tejano1]

lmao

[@mofayer]

As entertaining as this story is it's absolute bs. It's from a novel.

[@anathema_pariah]

I think he genuinely would have paused after the "dO yOu SeE jApAnEsE tOrPeDo BoAtS?"

[@johnsteel5347]

The best part is russia has kept up the tradition of being embarrassed by their own navy and losing to other countries that don't even have one.

[@courtneyreneeharris1264]

I told my boyfriend this story and he was in disbelief that an entire fleet could be the live embodiment of the Three Stooges.

[@pliskenx51mm83]

They need to make a movie on this voyage and market it as a comedy and then when the credits roll and it says, "based on a true story" people will google it then freak out to find out its all true.

[@crystalrollefson5748]

😂

[@crystalrollefson5748]

I read this in the first few minutes and had to laugh until the end. Should never enlist young boys for war

[@arabelladenine8566]

Funny you said that... I was thinking of posting the same comment almost verbatim.

[@kathaleenjakubiec7483]

😂😂😂

[@noahgilliam5162]

I think the best part of this is the fact that he went out every night and Screamed obscenities at the boat

[@sunnienelson2435]

😂 I do this in my vehicle.... Every night 🤣👍

[@foxtailedcritter]

Gotta Motivate it somehow.

[@The.Destroyer.Of.The.Worlds]

I can just imagine the baltic crew being like puppies that shit on the floor and are now ashamed, but don’t know any better even after yelling

[@born_confused]

@@sunnienelson2435 me too the reverse sensor drives me nuts 🤣

[@cathleenc6943]

I probably would have done that, too.

[@tpace1531]

"Sorry for shooting at you hundreds and hundreds of times." "It's ok"

[@hendrikw4104]

"I am just glad you did not hurt yourselves."

[@DJ-kg6zq]

Tpace they are the most chill fisherman ever🤣 I should be more chill when dumb stuff happens to me. Because it’s nothing compared to being shot at!!🤣

[@DJ-kg6zq]

Hendrik LOL they were probably proud of themselves for not killing each other in this fake torpedo boat incident!😂

[@Partlywater]

A normal day in Russia!

[@alexisdetocqueville9964]

"Understandable, have a great day"

[@magni5648]

So, funny little detail about the battle of Tsushima? Aboard the bridge of one of the japanese cruisers there, a young little staff lieutenant lost two fingers to shell fragments. If he had lost a third one, he would have been forced to retire from military service according to regulations. Which would have been quite the little butterfly effect. The name of that young lieutenant was Yamamoto Isoroku.

[@DaveEtchells]

What, seriously? That’s absolutely insane!

[@alexisjuillard4816]

No way seriously

[@tamlandipper29]

Yamamoto was a capable admiral. But he did not learn the correct lesson, which is when you have been dealt a losing hand don't go all in.

[@Nil_Sama]

Brings "I'd rather have an intelligent enemy, than a stupid friend." to a whole new level.

[@arabelladenine8566]

Good one haa hah. Im gonna try to remember that.

[@CAVEMANsean]

"Do you see Japanese torpedo boats?" Is easily the best part of this story. Followed by him screaming at them for it everynight. This is The Office of maritime incidents

[@b.p.879]

Do you see Japanese torpedo boats in the room with you right now, Komchatka?

[@dylanholmes1985]

Fully agreed! Hahahahahaha too good

[@dylanholmes1985]

But... Do you know how to get to bells canyon?

[@jorgewuzhear]

I tend to space out a lot at times thinking of random things so naturally my wife always ask what am I thinking about. "Do you see Japanese torpedo boats" will forever be my reply and we live in Phoenix AZ 🤣🤣🤣 I'm already cracking up thinking about it ☠

[@jorgewuzhear]

@@dylanholmes1985 classic 👌🏽 🤣

[@SeverinSnake]

In Europe: "Japanese torpedo boats!!!" Near Japan: "Russian fishing boat!"

[@destituteanddecadent9106]

Seriously. I'm sure he's only picking and choosing the interesting bits and I shouldn't judge when I've never experienced anything like it, but how incompetent do you have to be.

[@morena7700]

Imagine that

[@almishti]

I bet the hospital boat crew were so pleased with themselves for not mistaking a fishing boat for a Japanese torpedo boat, for once in their godforsaken lives. "HEYYYYYYY WE DID IT WE LEARNED TO TELL DIFFERENCE!"

[@chloedaniels2132]

I was literally thinking the exact same thing. I face palmed my face so hard at the end!

[@ZeroDarkness-]

If Japanese learn the fleet journey from beginning Their obvious reaction kzbin.info/www/bejne/m16mnJedYsmFpq8si=3TlDl2MXvmh8JCQs

[@horsebee1]

The even stranger irony of this story is that New Zealand and Australia were so worried about the Russian fleet coming down into the Pacific they commissioned a series of coastal forts guarding the main harbors. These forts consisting of 6 & 8 in Armstrong disappearing guns were not completed until after the Russian fleet had been beaten never fired a shot in anger. Two of the forts still exist to this day with one still in firing condition although it has not been fired since the 1950's due to an Albatross colony taking up residence.

[@reinvosrta4519]

“We’re okay.” “We’re okay.” “Do you see Japanese torpedo boats?” dead

[@willmccoy1728]

STILL DYING

[@mfauz96]

Dude I cried laughing 😂😂

[@larrymace2361]

The biggest fkn trolls in history lol

[@AdelizaNera]

Never have I choked laughing so hard before

[@bmw370]

OMFG, just the way he said it had me DEAD! Hahaha!!

[@marth8000]

If someone wrote this as a comedic fiction the critics would say it's to unrealistic.

[@lucaarmillei1682]

True

[@benxcell]

How where they that bad tho

[@butch7911]

I keep seeing it as a Warner Bros cartoon with Rozhestvensky played by Yosemite Sam...

[@anb3rlyn]

I don't know about you guys but this is comedy gold and also sad. Oh man.

[@bearieroblox6451]

This would make for an awesome comedy movie.

[@socrates5493]

Start of the video. "those nick names were a little harsh" End of the video " he was being nice"

[@AmandaE24]

Lmfao!!! Yesss! Omg how dumb could they be!?!?

[@lukecodz]

Bro I would’ve probably thrown them overboard they’re so dumb

[@TheUndeadOhioan1999]

Imagine all the names he had in mind for the Kamchatka crew

[@huntermckee2279]

@@TheUndeadOhioan1999 imagine being the one competent crew member on that boat.

[@TheUndeadOhioan1999]

@@huntermckee2279 its even more funny when you realize Kamchatka was 5 miles ahead of them so all of his screams weren't heard...unless you were on the same ship as him. I would've personally had them all hung😂 can't hit a damn fishing boat yet when they get the ok to fire a shot in salute to a fallen comrade they use a live round and hit one of their own ships😂😂😂

[@PotawatomiThunderNew]

This has gotta be the most incompetent group of people to ever exist.

[@FkUToob1776]

Oh if only...

[@johnsteel5347]

I would say they're over shadowed by their North Korean allies but then again maybe buying from incompetent people makes you more incompetent.

[@edthebumblingfool]

and sadly they now have nukes

[@johnsteel5347]

@@edthebumblingfool Who cares? MAD prevents the use of nukes. Doesn't even matter if Iran has nukes, they won't use them.

[@lancerevell5979]

The United States Congress begs to differ. 😅

[@itsokay5608]

*grabs life jacket, lays on the deck* "Japanese ain't Killin me today."

[@itsokay5608]

@@brianvelez5153 That's good! Haha!

[@manda.watching.YouTube]

😹😹😹

[@csar07.]

*shoots at unarmed fishing boat* "nice try japanese"

[@LilAlien-3000]

That was my favorite part of the story 😂

[@a7xfanforever556]

No common sense those guys. Lol

[@TheUndeadOhioan1999]

His own men psychologically broke him to the point he was just angrily screaming at Kamchatka on a nightly basis, I understand his pain on a spiritual level

[@theisgood0]

I’m laughing so hard at this.

[@gandalf_thegrey]

Same bro, same.

[@dannykim400]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@justskinnot2seriously71]

😂 dido 👋 I can’t even leave the house without anxiety of Karen I faced armed men at night in Baghdad but I’m scared to go in Walmart and won’t if the parking lot has more then a qt full

[@gigibythesea1133]

The dislikes are the Baltic Fleet mistaking Mr Ballen for a Japanese torpedo ship.

[@lscblackwell9202]

🤣

[@whitenoiseihearu4018]

Lol truth

[@chrizzliebear9803]

You win the comment section.

[@Calthrow]

🤣🤪

[@DoubtfulShadow]

LMAO

[@APatient]

I completely understand why this part was not taught in school 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Snailryder]

Most of it is probably fiction/propaganda that's why

[@wyattl.4023]

Before: "It can't be _that_ bad." After: "Holy shit it's worse."

[@thelovepodcastnetwork4375]

Man that's messed up being sent on a dummy mission

[@wyattl.4023]

@@thelovepodcastnetwork4375 it was pretty much a suicide mission

[@jamesroad316]

It's not a mission anymore but a nightmare cruise

[@SeeTheWholeTruth]

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY THEY NAMED THAT VODKA KAMCHATKA! That boat was full on ripped the whole time. Morning shift change at helm: Where is the fleet? Groan: No idea, dont worry, theyll catch up.

[@AmericanNinja85]

Same as I was thinking

[@88demonspeeder]

Who else has watched this multiple times because of how hysterical this story is?? Definitely one of my favorites!

[@eaglevision9791]

i can’t remember the last time i laughed so hard!!

[@a7xfanforever556]

I've watched it like 5 times. Lmao😂

[@soldierski1669]

I'm working in the garage listing, had to stop and rewind it in one spot because I thought I heard it wrong... I didn't.

[@lynnetrathen4587]

Dam are they sure they weren’t blanks they were firing 🤣🤣

[@firstname-gq5yr]

I'm on my second listen

[@jakesolver4359]

The Kamchatka, the single most important asset to the Imperial Japanese navy.

[@aocroissier]

LOL

[@CoolGuy7159]

Maybe they were spy’s all along dun dun dun would make a good comedy movie though :P

[@Dylan-tc6ve]

@@CoolGuy7159 I agree this would be a hilarious movie

[@rodnabors7364]

Lmao, could have started a few more wars.

[@Compig44]

Friendly fire was in fact on

[@ndzmendoza8313]

This is the third time I've watched this episode. I don't think I've ever laughed as much, watching short vids. 😂😂😂 It's definitely my favorite! Thanks, MrBallen! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@thyatradayatora5940]

This story is literally just “But wait! There’s more!” in all the worst ways lmao.

[@glp046]

More- Soyuz 1, MIR space station, Chernobyl...

[@Burninator353]

It just keeps giving lmfao!

[@abbyiswatching2046]

Order now and get a second monster for just 19.99 shipping and handling!!! It slices, it dices, it keeps the neighbor's kids in their own damn yard!!!!

[@smokencoffee7680]

Hey! Hold my beer!

[@neslymerat]

Yes thats how feel lol

[@LoveandBonestm]

I’ll bet this is where the phrase “I’m surrounded by idiots.” Came from.

[@bigby1590]

Fingriskies

[@jasonotoole7854]

😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll second that.... 😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣

[@severablegibbon]

I was hoping someone would have said “actually that’s from the lion king”

[@luciferchrist4682]

That actually came from jesus at the lastt supper...

[@severablegibbon]

@@luciferchrist4682 I don’t know much about the Bible or even Christianity but that was a good joke

[@gramboni0624]

I like how Britain considering war for the fishing boat incident was essentially "No one could be that stupid for the ships to look like torpedo boats."

[@AllknowingUnknown]

The Russians were probably like... NO No Forreal! Yours are not the first fishing boats that group had fired upon

[@TaraConti]

I would love to see George & Nikki's correspondence with each other about that incident! 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😬😂 Poor Nikki couldn't win for loosing!

[@SNP-1999]

Oh yes they could !!!!

[@freebirddee2620]

could you imagine the shame "No no.... we really were that dumb"

[@Blitzkit]

Except if people weren't trained for seafaring.

[@Jjones24680]

This is one of my favorite all time videos. @mrballen holding a huge grin back the entire time, delivery is so good.

[@e.spanner7155]

I love how Mr Ballen was trying not to laugh at the sheer stupidity

[@mimato]

😂😂😂

[@brendad5558]

I know right 😂😂😂

[@kazimaja6860]

@Kangarooster yeah!!!

[@jamesallen5591]

@Kangarooster Yes!

[@Tranqualliving]

T

[@TheLikenessOfNormal]

"They accidentally sent the message "Do you see Japanese Torpedo Boats?" I FUCKING LOST IT

[@TheLikenessOfNormal]

AND THE ONE TIME THERE REALLY IS A JAPANESE TORPEDO BOAT

[@Cec9e13]

HOOOWWW do you ACCIDENTALLY say that many words instead of "we're okay"?

[@koltonshoup2517]

I didn’t think he was serious at first

[@flagerdevil]

It was probably meant as an intern joke, that wasn't meant to be actually send out and then oops! 😆

[@themez366]

I literally fucking cried, and had to stop what I was doing lol

[@andrewstamant5877]

Love how at 2:24, there are 2 guys just literally looking down the barrel of guns as he explains how they aren't smart. What a perfect picture.

[@mommy2libras]

"No, this is your fleet" Basically "this is how you'll be remembered forever". I bet he just went back to his ship and cried.

[@CHRIS3PHX]

😂

[@ZombieSazza]

I’d have fucking cried honestly

[@megami.x]

I would’ve had a mental breakdown lol

[@MadGeorge88]

@@megami.x Should have just left after shooting kamchaka captain

[@marewere]

I would have dipped 🤣

[@zariftahmidshoeb3487]

With friends like komchatka, you don’t need any enemies 😂😂😂. How this one single ship managed to almost get into war with 4 other countries is beyond me.

[@grmpEqweer]

Sailors were all hicks from the sticks?

[@steeljawX]

But you know how today's culture is. They were trying their hardest so they get a trophy for participation regardless........................................They really do.

[@rewarddrawer]

I don't know what's funnier, that they fired upon the poor fisherman or the fact that every shot missed?

[@AmbroseBurnside1824]

@@grmpEqweer and you’re scum from the slums.

[@AmbroseBurnside1824]

@@grmpEqweer how are you gonna insult every seaman who has ever served? Your dad clearly wasn’t in your life.

[@1997dartagnan]

The Japanese probably: “honestly, we’re surprised you got this far. After all the news reports, we thought your ‘secret’ fleet would sink itself.”

[@shishoka]

Surprised they weren't welcomed with confetti and a celebratory banner proudly proclaiming that they made it.

[@MaxWill-bt2tk]

Why can't this be made into a movie? And with minimal work, could be turned into a comedy.

[@miloselfesteem2326]

In the course of trying to fight ONE war, Russia almost started like 5 wars

[@LynnAgain83]

They may have been better off!lol I know I would've wanted to be anywhere else besides a Japanese prison camp 😳

[@maskimgalgo2046]

@@LynnAgain83rather died than being capture by the nazi japanese

[@brandonzzz9924]

I'm so surprised that Rozhestvensky didn't stop the whole fleet and board the Kamtchaka to beat the living crap out of the crew

[@abradolflincler00]

I'm suprised he didn't just sink the ship himself

[@aquatarot4694]

I know I would have !!!!

[@aquatarot4694]

@@abradolflincler00 Right !!!! I know I would have !!

[@SRMoore1178]

@@abradolflincler00 Great name! Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!

[@Ashenicky2009]

He should have lol. They were such morons lol

[@benjaminwyatt]

i am literally in awe of these people. like they literally didn't make a single good decision the entire time

[@709mash]

Humans will never cease to amaze.

[@ryusik9715]

HAHAHAHA

[@destituteanddecadent9106]

It may have been left out. It is just a 20 minute video after all. But yes, they had enough bad decisions to probably fill up 15 min out of the 20.

[@almishti]

It's pretty impressive innit.

[@frevazz3364]

It is a miracle they made it to Japan to begin with.

[@pierrethadon2K2]

Brother this one actually had me laughing out loud😂 evasive maneuvers in a minefield😂😂

[@cody5535]

Remember: no matter how bad you screwup, there is always the Baltic Fleet.

[@maliavanderzyl32]

I’m wheezing 🤣

[@Punisher_MrWick]

Lol!

[@thurin84]

and no matter how badly the rest of the baltic fleet screws up theres always the kamchatka!

[@holdingsteadfast]

seriously having such a bad case of secondhand embarrassment but couldn't stop listening because its so hilarious

[@Punisher_MrWick]

@@holdingsteadfast yes it was I laughed my ass off! I feel so bad for the man in charge!

[@rashardwilkinson3333]

The part that had me dying, when they came across a Japanese torpedo ship for real, they didn't recognize it.🤣🤣🤣

[@powerboatguy2308]

They attacked everything: Fishing boats, friendly navies etc. right off the bat, except the Japanese. I can't imagine what the admiral was going thought.

[@ijustwanttolikecomments4677]

as soon as i heard a Russian fishing boat(near Japan) i was like "what? why is there a Russian fishing boat fishing near Japan right now?" lol

[@brindlebucker4741]

Yep! Russians: 'Hah! We will not fall for this one again!'

[@user-ff4tw8uf4b]

I was about to comment just this 😂 after 7 MONTHS of seeing Japanese everywhere when they finally do … they don’t 🤣 tragicomic 😢

[@richbob9155]

They talked to each other and had a conversation despite speaking two different languages? It obviously never happened like this. As bad as Russians have always been at war, this story is clearly heavily embellished.

[@redactedart4816]

I can’t cope! How did they think EVERYTHING was a Japanese torpedo ship.. EXCEPT the Japanese torpedo ship.

[@bdbeaudette]

Because they were idiots

[@jamimalittyalex7667]

😂😂😂

[@ashleyking6743]

Hahahahahahahaha

[@blxtothis]

Russia had bought many old warships from Great Britain, what they didn’t know was that Britain had sold later and superior models to Japan which when compared to Russia had a minuscule navy. The Vickers Shipyard didn’t care one way or the other.

[@caseysylvester4119]

I can’t stop laughing at the idea of someone shooting hundreds of bullets at another boat, missing every shot…then being like, whoops! My bad!

[@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist]

It didnt happen once either. XD If I was on that fleet, I would definitely not want to be on the boat known for messing everything up. XD that crew sounds like a mess.

[@leannvlewis]

😅 I know!! Until the end I was laughing because i thought they can't really be that dumb. I am surprised they lasted 7 months. This could be the most impossibly ridiculous factual story I've ever heard.

[@b3games146]

Hey they hit targets. Just friendly ships

[@FLS96]

Uh oh, spaghetti-Os! xD

[@Truthorfib]

And then the guy was like "its all good bro"

[@kindlywestkin717]

I cant beleive there is a historic war fleet that was so incompetent, they rivaled that of a Looney Toons episode. Incredible.

[@Lady.B0420]

OMG, thank you so much for spelling Toons correctly! Fu@king Mandela effect.

[@HeavyMetalBarber]

First Mr. Ballen episode I laughed my ass off

[@iulia1690]

The russians are famouse for their bad aquipment. In the second world war their tanks would just explode on any impact, while the germans were way advanced.. But the russians just kept bringhing more people.. Milions to spare

[@RedboRF]

this story is absolutely made up, I have no idea what clown made this up, but with all respect to my man John, he should chose sources more carefull. because this IS extrimely ridiculous and nukes trust to his other videos being fact driven

[@RedboRF]

Im really interested where did he get this catroonish shit

[@pax7061]

The Kamchatka is that one group during group projects that just doesn’t know what’s going on.

[@markouellette6868]

Like me for an example

[@francescagreetham1804]

I started to wonder if they were just messing around for laughs by the end.

[@Dead_or_Wild]

This is the best true comedy I've heard in a very long time. Wish someone would make a movie about this.

[@Opiuth]

Agreed 👍

[@NeilPower]

The one time they weren't trigger happy was when the fleet was actually approached by a Japanese torpedo boat.

[@ramosthomas9414]

Such ah shame

[@philb8611]

That was my exact thought😂😂

[@stingray4540]

In Europe: OMG it’s the Japanese!!! In Japan: oh, don’t worry, it’s just a Russian fishing boat...

[@raycharles178]

🤣

[@playdoh2143]

I thought the nicknames, "manure sack" and "vast empty space", were a little cruel at first but then I heard the rest of the story..

[@prettybrowneyez3338]

🤭🤭🤭

[@boul4630]

I feel your Pain 😂

[@OvelNick]

And you realize what a kind hearted gentle soul'd man he was. Manure sack and vast empty space were generous nicknames.

[@prettybrowneyez3338]

@@OvelNick 🤣🤣 yes. Yes, he was.

[@Emjay_____71]

OMG this story !!!!! Why havent they made a film about this ?????

[@jdyer9431]

Started crying with laughter when they released crocodiles and snakes onto their own ship to boost morale

[@donaldcito]

🤣🤣🤣

[@brahtrumpwonbigly7309]

I can see that working honestly

[@Cheepchipsable]

There is an old gag. "The beatings will continue until morale improves!"

[@zoey1811954]

Hysterical 😩

[@Walking.L]

For me it was the salute gunfire that hit the other ship.

[@JudgeDrey]

Happiness is coming across a MrBallen video that I've "supposedly" watched, but don't remember a thing about. So it's like a brand new video! I gotta start going through the old videos again.

[@danielwggudan2]

They mistake numerous fishing vessels for Japanese torpedo boats, then encounter a Japanese torpedo boat, “ohhhhh you, you’re not gonna fool me again, I know you’re a Russian fishing boat!!!”

[@reinasherman8009]

Yeah they are really bad at identifying others and I feel really bad for EVERY fisherman in the ocean at that time.

[@mrbig4532]

I don’t know why but I’m sitting in my work truck watching KZbin videos in a WAWA parking lot at 645 pm and I guess I just don’t want to go home yet and have to start repiping my main house drain in my basement that started to leak along the whole bottom of the 55 ft run of cast iron on my concrete basement floor, not a hole in a few spots or a large crack that’s 3 ft long the whole run of exposed 80 year old extra heavy cast iron leaks everywhere along the bottom of the pipe, that’s really quite normal with all the soilds that don’t get washed away when you use a fixture that isn’t dumping enough water along with the waste it ends up sitting on the bottom of the pipe eating away at the cast iron until it’s paper thin and starts to leak , but back to this video I watched this video and found your comment and haven’t laughed that hard in five years so thank you I needed that .

[@PaulaTheLittleOne]

@@mrbig4532 I'm so sorry for the troubles you're currently going through. I hope everything works out in the end! I learned some valuable stuff through your comment though so thank you for sharing 👍. And what a wholesome ending your comment had, that was so sweet❣God bless you!!

[@LetsGoFlyers2011]

@@mrbig4532 shut up and get to work

[@mrbig4532]

@@LetsGoFlyers2011 alright give me a break I’m busting my ass , I’ll get it done . If only I didn’t go out last night to 3am and didn’t get so drunk that I can remember parking my car because one of the girls who I gave a ride to threw up when I was backing into a parking spot that I swore was large enough for my car to fit but something tells me when I finally find the area where I parked my car I’m going to find some rear passenger side damage.

[@FraZzJ]

Morons: *Shoots at EVERY civilian boat they see* Also Morons: *Assist the ONE enemy boat that actually approaches them*

[@garyblack8717]

Watchman finally learned the lesson, "it's NEVER a Japanese Torpedo Boat, it's a FISHING VESSEL!"

[@galatians-2.20]

Hahahahahahhhahahahhaa bro I'm laughing so hard at that part

[@jamesallen5591]

Lol

[@zoro3618]

I am your 500th like

[@jimrockford2335]

If only they’d recognised it, they could have started blasting each other again

[@Escherlife]

The only reason a movie hasn’t been made about this is that nobody would believe it was true 😂

[@ice9594]

Escherlife Woody Allen was busy.

[@Tlyna1952]

The plot is so Monty Python that you are right, no one would believe it.

[@johnnyapplesmith]

Military movies are all propaganda, governments pay millions of dollars to produce garbage to recruit gullible young people into the military. Why would any country want to make a movie that makes them look stupid?

[@brandonharmon5556]

@@johnnyapplesmith right?

[@taranyoung9619]

That would be a hilarious movie!!

[@stevenrogers8601]

I cannot take the story seriously because of the nicknames 😂😂😂 every time you say their names I just laugh ❤😂

[@slayer0235]

Frankly it’s a miracle that they made it to Japan at all.

[@360.Tapestry]

and you will know us by the trail of stubbed toes

[@badman_j4998]

Snakes and crocs all over a ship those crazy bastards

[@badman_j4998]

Completely

[@Tigerous]

The work of social media in the early days

[@ericharrison7518]

@@Couplescience The Japanese did, in fact, know that the Baltic fleet was coming. They ambushed the Russian fleet and sank virtually every ship.

[@KyuOW]

No one: The Baltic Fleet: *So anyway, I started blasting.*

[@leogjolaj7394]

Good one

[@vincentfrusci7745]

Lmao 😂 that was perfect

[@duckgoesquack4514]

Should have been called the storm trouper fleet

[@vincentfrusci7745]

@@duckgoesquack4514 oh yea cuz they miss every shot lol

[@jadebailey5959]

This leader deserved every medal available to him, he really must have struggled with what he was surrounded with 🤣

[@PaulojnPereira]

I bet by the end he even said "Thank you!" to the Japanese for taking him out of that mad house.

[@galexeqe]

"Sir, our sailors are shooting our ships again" "At least they're not running their ships into each other" "eh............................weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell" "oh for the love of god, you mean their doing *THAT* as well?"

[@OGA103]

This story is absolutely epic. This needs to be made into a movie. Preferably a drama which would inevitably become a comedy.

[@rudyishoggin]

Excuse me mr.ballen do you have any good stolen Valor stories. Like has anyone came up to you and said they were Rambo of any sort

[@odonnellcaleb]

Man...I don't know if this beats America's Willy Dee story or not. It definitely comes closer to matching the stupidity than I thought any story could.

[@C_Tizzle]

It would be a great silent, short film. The kind that seems to be in fast-forward.

[@smokerofthydookie7379]

@Big Cat Little Lion you don't have to be such a dick lmao

[@deezyD93]

@Big Cat Little Lion do you know any good stolen valor stories?

[@ElizabethAnnnn9311]

This is the funniest story I've ever heard. Crocodiles and poisonous snakes to boost morale. Their worst enemies were literally themselves.

[@erwinmaulana5920]

It's Russian.. probably they have bear as their pet lol

[@kingtomthebomb1639]

It was soo good ... That part killed me

[@matildadhumxoxo5801]

Almost as bad as Czar Nicolas Romanov letting Rasputin give him military advice.

[@EVERGLOW828]

Such an accurate comment 😂

[@TheUndeadOhioan1999]

First it was the poisonous snakes and crocodiles, than the imported cigarettes that were laced with opium were introduced. I would've killed myself if I had to be in charge of people who were stupid enough to get fishing boats mixed up with torpedo boats. And the one time they do come across a Japanese torpedo boat they get it mixed up with a fishing boat

[@edward.scissor.fing..2776]

Who missed him all week 😔???

[@Mike41919]

Everyone..... Except the like button

[@gummby85]

I was having Mr. Ballen withdrawals, lol.

[@geraldhencye8382]

Sooooo true!!! I felt empty and sad, then I turned it into anger and went hunting for Like buttons.

[@chainggangsoldier21]

Me

[@thekafkaesquekind1656]

It's been a rough week 😆😆😆

[@Matt-oi3ix]

This has got to be the happiest I’ve ever seen MrBallen ever tell a story😂😂😂

[@ATY676]

I just love the fact that in an effort to cheer up the crew the officers decided to release a load of snakes and alligators on board.

[@chasm671]

"ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING - Wait, is that a Japanese torpedo boat?!!" "Sir, that's a seagull." "SINK IT!!!"

[@curiousing]

Crocodiles. Not alligators. Are you Baltic? 😛

[@kingshawukee]

I always knew deadly predators could be an enormous moral booster.

[@cjellis4101]

@@chasm671 lolol

[@mrtommygunwhite]

I mean you can't be sad if you're eaten by a crocodile

[@failedstates5315]

Imagine thinking every fishing boat is a Japanese warship and then when a Japanese warship approaches you think its a fishing boat. . .

[@finck9226]

nah bro those aren't guns they are fishing rods i swear

[@lynn4852]

This is the best ever. My same thought exactly.

[@seanyushi9096]

That's explains the nick names

[@dedalliance1]

lol, The boy who cried wolf.

[@rize-ikuza]

Lmaooo it actually did happen at the end 😭😭😭🤣

[@randyweaverssummercampfort2885]

“Do you see Japanese torpedo boats?” I died laughing. I could honestly watch a full office-style tv series about the Kamchatka

[@LovetheFight184]

Yes!!! This needs to be a show!

[@sarahrosen5000]

Haha The Kamchatka is definitely the Scranton branch lol

[@CrypticJasmine]

Omg YES the chaos!!!

[@Heather-xm9ul]

Yes! Where's Michael?? When he's done being king of the space force, he needs to play that captain

[@ngauruhoezodiac3143]

I read a book about the voyage of the Russian Baltic fleet to Port Arthur. It was a disaster from the beginning. The hulls were not cleaned so that a cruiser designed to go 18 knots could barely do 13. Then in panic they fired upon British fishing boats thinking that they were Japanese torpedo boats and thus were denied passage through the Suez canal and access most coaling stations.

[@Discrit]

I died so hard when you said “ the captain would climb to the top of the ship to yell obscenities at the komchatzka” this needs to be made into a comesy movie.

[@Proudofindia774]

Komchatzka is sailed by Mr Bean...

[@mangofree]

it’s almost impressive how this story kept getting dumber and dumber as it went on. like this is actually the most wild story I’ve heard in my entire life.

[@ThorGodofThunder420]

If it wasn't John Ballen telling the story, I wouldn't believe it. I couldn't stop laughing.

[@freakyhorrorghoul]

Literally the DEFINITION of “Fire at Will, NO NOT AT WILL DAMNIT-“

[@georgefitter7656]

In the end, admiral Rojaswenski moved to England, assumed the name Benny Hill and performed comedy until his untimely death.

[@oceanairbrush]

As a Navy man I cannot believe you were able to give that story with a straight face

[@MrJlee93]

He's also a navy man.

[@oceanairbrush]

@@MrJlee93 i know as that was the point i was making.

[@psychedtraveler6611]

Do you see Japanese torpedo boats?

[@christopherbennett3425]

Honestly at several points of the video I think he was trying not to bust out laughing. I failed epically because I couldn't stop laughing😂

[@oceanairbrush]

@@christopherbennett3425 me too

[@internetexplorer9990]

“Admiral, we seem to have lost contact with the Kamchatka” “Oh thank God, carry on” *Baltic Fleet arrives at port* “Admiral the Kamchatka has arrived at this port, they are no longer lost” “FUCK”

[@winstonknowitall4181]

"They report engaging three Japanese torpedo boats" "Oh no, not again!"

[@jamesroad316]

@@winstonknowitall4181 what country did those boats come from

[@elizabethrimiru603]

Hahaha

[@Junkyardnedreck]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@heidijones580]

omg! exactly!

[@GallonMilkProductions]

an irl representation of what it's like being in a group project

[@the.reuben.singh..2774]

Freaking true

[@pollypockets508]

LMAO

[@ltwt1938]

Baltic Fleet: *sees log floating in water* "JAPANESE TORPEDO BOATS OPEN FIRE!!"

[@Transilvanian90]

During the entire trip, Admiral Rozhestvensky must've been like "How the hell will I fight a Japanese fleet when my fleet is already defeating itself without any help from the enemy".

[@MyMonique28]

For real!

[@wyvrusgriffion3948]

When your the only competent person out of a thousand men.

[@jessicajones1995]

Lmao I laughed at this comment 😂

[@aerynhoward3974]

Laughing soo hard at this comment 😂

[@rufus231]

@@aerynhoward3974 Bot.

[@lydiacoleman1565]

This story needs to be made into a tragic comedy of some sort. It’s devastating but so unbelievably crazy.

[@ghazmeister1838]

This should be Chapter 1 of Warfare For Dummies😂

[@gregorygagnon82]

Just imagine the SEAL team equivalent back then swimming in the water just watching it happen sitting on the back of blue whales cause even the whales just stay put. The Subs were like old people on the road with Boomers and Millennials lol

[@thunderhorse6666]

Kinda like the death of Stalin:) freakin love that movie

[@SalemSphynx]

Agreed🥴

[@HeisLeg3nd]

That’s exactly what I was thinking, this is just too wild

[@stu3yy_]

Kamchatka: *spots literally anything* Kamchatka: "Is this a Japanese torpedo boat?"

[@destituteanddecadent9106]

Except for an actual Japanese torpedo boat.

[@MissEddieBlueKawaiiKrafts]

@@destituteanddecadent9106 omg ikr 😭😭🔫

[@L1keABosZ]

The Kamchatka reminds me of Patrick asking if Mayonnaise was also an instrument

[@bizhenry232]

💀💀💀

[@MrSavagebeast04]

Admiral Rozhestvensky: "Who left the bag of 💩 on the deck that I stepped on?!!" Manure Sack: "Sorry, Admiral, I thought it went overboard but I must not have thrown it far enough!" **Admiral Rozhestvensky beats Manure Sack, accidentally kills him, resulting in more 💩 on the deck**

[@D00M3R_MAVS]

Honestly, that is just insane. They frequently mistook other vessels as Japanese torpedo boats, then mistook the only Japanese Torpedo boat as a Russian Fishing boat. You couldn't make this stuff up.

[@cartooncritique6625]

This would make for a great comedy film...or a cartoon. XD

[@brandonrichey8420]

How the fuck did they think they could over take the Japanese? I can't believe how ignorant Russia truly was. They couldn't even make it out of the harbor without having an accident.

[@Isaiiahii]

@Rick Kivari This was before the Bolsheviks' took over. The communist took over Russia in 1917. The Czar mentioned in this story was murdered, along with his entire family, once the Bolsheviks' reign of terror began.

[@joshjones718]

@Rick Kivari if you are talking communism/marxism, that came later after the bolshevik revolution

[@TheBayzent]

​​​@@brandonrichey8420 Point was to recapture Port Arthur along with land forces, not to take over Japan. But their army was incredibly under prepared for a war on that scale as well, and things would just get marginally better a couple of decades later after their Civil War. Trotsky was a psychopath but what he managed to do with the Russian army during the Civil War (put it ALMOST to Western standards in abput 2 years) was a fricking miracle.

[@kevinst0pit444]

The chad fisherman saying “it’s okay btw you’re promoted” after getting shot at more than 100 times is the best thing I’ve heard

[@arthurvg2217]

Don't worry, they are seemingly practicing on a target 20 miles from our position.

[@Gioppdumister]

I would’ve been more embarrassed for the general than upset

[@jinx7501]

Imagine being on those fishermen's boats. "Either they're showing off by not hitting us or this navy is in serious trouble..."

[@hibs5516]

I love how they're terrified of Japanese torpedo boats the entire journey to the Pacific. They're getting jumpy and shooting at various European and African fishing vessels, which are obviously identifiable as fishing vessels. When they finally reach the battle grounds the first thing they do is tell a Japanese sailor, on a torpedo boat, where the fleet is. If I were training recruits about how to identify mistakes before you make them. I'd start with this story. Because this covers a lot of them.

[@Free_Krazy]

When he said the crews were illeterate and lacking experience I didn't think he meant they were actually dumb as door knobs....

[@alkis1808]

Horrific insult to door knobs

[@itried2hard633]

bro i was imagining the entire crew as those 2 guys from dumb and dumber

[@DebraAndDougie]

Honestly offensive to doorknobs

[@Free_Krazy]

@@itried2hard633 Now I have a dozen Captain Jack Sparrows trying to fly a plane in my head lol

[@MrSomeRedditor]

Illiterate *

[@Mamalaura208]

The way John is telling the story and how amused he is by the issues makes this hysterical story even better. This definitely should be made into a movie

[@davidbiagi2932]

Don’t ever call him John again. It’s Mr Ballen. Jesus Christ

[@CheesyJesse]

@@davidbiagi2932Bit of an overreaction don’t ya think?

[@Vanilla-jd1ez]

Dumb and dumber 3, in the Russian navy now

[@ambertears8707]

This story is wild. I’m amazed this story wasn’t erased from history out of embarrassment.

[@manifestationsofasort]

Makes you wonder how many stories like this have been erased from embarrassment

[@whitenoiseihearu4018]

Now this would have made a great movie. Bad news bears go to war.

[@tiffanymims8691]

The Japanese are probably why we know this story! I doubt the Russians speak of it!

[@D-Rock420]

@@whitenoiseihearu4018 or "The Three........ Thousand Stooges" 😆

[@slipjones2]

Not the complete story. Thousands and thousands of Japanese soldiers died fighting the land war. But the Russians bungled that also to a certain extent.

[@jailynnmann309]

omg i cannot stop laughing every time you refer to them as manure sack 😂😂😂

[@psyrapmafia]

This entire story is so well told but the delivery of "Do you see japanese torpedo boats" at 13:40 is just gold.

[@mariaa7988]

Absolutely killed me

[@rachelcross27]

Me too!!!! 🤣

[@cknight5577]

That was brilliant werent it , I couldn’t stop laughing

[@katherinepeace3564]

Lmao! Yes and his trying not to laugh had me laughingg too hahah

[@chowdhurymoumita17]

ngl that cracked the hell out of me

[@lordgoofus2364]

Frankly I'm surprised the Admiral didn't just point at Komchatka, scream "Japanese torpedo boat!" and let the rest of the fleet solve the root cause of all his problems themselves.

[@christopherjones8448]

Well purposely blowing up the repair ship of the fleet would probably not have done them much good, although if it makes you feel any better the Crapchatka isn't one of the ships that survived the battle with the Japanese so they payed for their stupidity

[@johnhowden3547]

But they would have missed😂😂😂

[@Brandon-br7tc]

@@johnhowden3547 lmaooo that’s the sad truth

[@cartooncritique6625]

I'm surprised nobody has made a movie out of this. This would make an excellent comedy film! XD

[@Freestylemayo]

I was gonna lose it if komchatka managed to survive and escape some how lmao

[@blackcellagent]

If you ever have a bad day, where you think you messed up so bad you can never overcome it. Just give this another watch.

[@Redditaurus]

Where*

[@chucklemon70]

Of all the videos I've watched so far, this one is the most unbelievable. I cannot fathom the gross ineptitude of a military unit