"I Work For The Government Rehabilitating Ancient Gods" Creepypasta

[@jart83]

The most unrealistic thing about this story is the CIA not using something because of moral complications and human suffering.

[@michaelpaliden6660]

Mby it dident cause enough suffering.

[@astk5214]

if the CIA doesn't want it (probably protecting the jobs of the AIT people) the FBI can connect to 4-chan or Facebook and spy people thrown it, and if nothing works the IRS is getting some juice cash ready to burn

[@johnpaul7125]

Yeah that's how you know its fake. The government thrives on death and don't have morals

[@Lostwithquestion]

History and 3 letter government agencies shows horrible implications and books of lies.

[@grimsgraveyard3598]

Yeah the CIA wouldn't give a shit lol.

[@nonamelast3113]

I love how this guy's arc went from "going through assistants like they're swiping on tinder or something" to being stuck with one they cannot get rid of. Moreover he's their pet. I don't know, but I think he had it coming. Could have been a bit nicer to his previous assistants.

[@shadydragon22]

The guy was an absolute psychopath with them, he definitely deserved it

[@treeeyed8578]

Whos whos pet?

[@rokitap.w1193]

@@treeeyed8578 the main character is the pet of his assistant Uriel the Angel

[@maciekx10]

I like this. Kinda wish that one of the higher ups at the end would have said something like "At least we won't have to keep hiring new assistance for you"

[@I3raveryy]

I'd love a continuation of this. This was spectacular

[@QueefyDeacon]

Yes please!

[@He_Grows]

Agree

[@MiguelFlores-pg8fi]

Yes, please!

[@captain_dsz6049]

Holy crap I hope this is ongoing because damn this was good

[@damianmaldonado132]

I couldn't agree more, this is great

[@bodhisattva9190]

I would love to see more stories like this one. The imprisoning of gods is a cool concept

[@SafetyDJ]

I'd watch a sitcom of this premise. Keith sounds like a cool guy

[@plazik7481]

Every Keith I've known in my life has been a pretty cool guy. Granted I've only known 2, but the Keith's are still batting 1.000

[@tigernotwoods914]

I only just found this channel a week ago. I like these stories. The main reasons these stories are good as if they’re real stories and being the listener / reader in. It feels realistic.

[@josephproctor1757]

i agree

[@tzuchi3844]

welcome to the channel dude

[@josephfrye1493]

Give it a week you won't be able to sleep without this man's voice, either accept your fate or run now

[@ibrahimbajallan]

lucky you, you have so many stories to hear for the first time!

[@rtempest12]

Welcome Fellow Listener 🤗... 👻 😳 😱 Make Sure You Give 'all' Of the Creepypastas a Listen. & Dr. Creepen..!! - The Dark Somnium - Lighthouse Horror - Mr. Davis & CTFDN ChillingTalesForDarkNights Hopefully, I've Introduced You To My Favorite Tellers From Ontario, Canada 🇨🇦

[@cathrinewhite7629]

35:01-35:51 This explains our naivete towards anything more powerful than us. We don't realize that they will likely treat us just as we have treated the earth and its creatures.😪🙏🏼 Great writing, btw!👍

[@WhatWhy42]

Depends but if they are dumb or evil, I would have to agree

[@manofhealing]

So, the narrator is an elder god himself that survives by sacrificing assistants, right?

[@treeeyed8578]

That would make sense considering his apathy about everything and lack empathy tord human life

[@thehorrordoujo1697]

@@treeeyed8578 exactly he sounded like he has been doing it for ages , that he has gotten so used to all of this ..

[@davidcook680]

He sounds like a scumbag.

[@LeeroyPorkins]

Tune in next week for "I Am A Lawyer For The Gods. Zeus Is Being Sued For Child Support."

[@dsandoval9396]

oof. They gonna take 70% of his lightning.

[@barkingbunny2928]

Only one of the Gods could afford that... of course will be paid off through tributes from the populace...

[@warkingsblood]

Yeah Zues couldn't ever keep it in his pants

[@KB_NA]

😂😂😂

[@ModernDayAfro]

I feel like this.just wouldn't end well for humanity

[@allanfulton7569]

You would think that even an elder God would go insane being stuck alone for 100 million years

[@NoahGooder]

well maybe time works diffrent for them.

[@timw6863]

And yet we do not!!!!!

[@nonamelast3113]

Not unless... they're an INFJ.

[@wariyoshidirector]

It's probably more like our squishy brains require stimulation for survival purposes, but gods don't die in the same way as we do so they're not really affected. It probably felt more like she was stuck in a waiting room or something.

[@allanfulton7569]

@@wariyoshidirector that's probably true I still think that amount of time it would go insane but that's still coming from a human perspective

[@bibanca8539]

"i don't worship anything, let alone bob" really got me

[@kampua4life]

Old school creepypasta titles: “The Cave”, “The Quiet Sky”, “God is Dead” 2022 creepypasta titles:

[@mariahoekstra370]

Ha ha, can't send my family, "God is Dead". Just the title would elicit a riot. Was great though!! Thanks for the trip down memory lane🫂🍔

[@ethanmerrion3040]

Please make this into a full series

[@hi-nq4qh]

loved it!!! so crazy how all the terrors were pretty cool, and the angel was the scary one. I could def get into a series of these stories!! well written with humor and of course beautifully narrated, as always! ty Mr. Creeps ☠️🖤☠️🖤

[@patchyworx]

Agatha is definitely easy to understand, as an artist and worldbuilder myself yeah, I get it.

[@princessforanight8579]

Usually in sleep within 10 minutes, this was so good I was awake through the lot

[@SkankHunt333]

A perfect ending to my birthday. A 45 min Mr. Creeps video.

[@hi-nq4qh]

happy birthday 🥳

[@lordoofingtonxxiv6174]

Happy birthday 🥳🎉

[@avrie6668]

Congratulations 👏

[@LezlyLikesYuri]

Congratulations on another year of existing🥳

[@pieuhhh7717]

HBD!!!!

[@Teknofobe]

How dare you call me, "ancient"! At 1 billion year's, i'm relatively young.

[@sayewhatjosh]

Lucifer? How you been dude

[@thepreacher7399]

@@sayewhatjosh Damned

[@westoncosine2035]

@@sayewhatjosh im Ok. Im God Now So Promotions Good. Unfamiliar Territory Being the Dominant 1. Still got My Star 👈 Even Spells my new Name West East South Tstar 🧭 North 👆haha it says@ Nude weston My Zodiac is An Ox Too 🐂 And my name is Like 2 letters aways From The German Odin (Woutan) Wisdom other tongues: Wissen Wetten Veda: To Know, Video (See). Weird Cause Odin is God of the Left Hand Path and West Is literally The Way to go Left. 🔱..🤘🏻Pinky Bad. Im the Pointer Now

[@dertywhiteboy6892]

@@westoncosine2035 There is but one,1 God,Jesus Christ is Lord of lords and King of kings,the latter here in only gets power for a short time and only on the 1 true Gods say so

[@bd.dinparbosco7481]

😊

[@dluce9804]

I listened to this whole thing while at the gym and as soon as I heard “Uriel” I audibly went “Oh shit” 😂😂 Great story

[@ShadowDeity1983]

Right! 🤣🤣🤣

[@allanfulton7569]

Lol I just started listening and read the title it's hilarious that anyone could think they could rehabilitate a God.

[@Aquariun9iteMMare]

..."like Elmer Fudd reciting the Necronomican." I had to spit out my drink when I heard that one. 😄

[@moodycrab77]

You always pick great stories, two minutes in and I am hooked! Thank the author for me!

[@Doctorcockter]

I really wanna say thanks mr creeps, I’m from florida so Ian is affecting us all, and your stories have kept me company , thank you for the great narrations!

[@Issengan]

Not really good at wording things like this, but good luck to yall down there

[@theotherguymax9189]

Stay safe Sir, and prayers go out to you and your family and friends

[@Doctorcockter]

@@theotherguymax9189 thank you so much man

[@Doctorcockter]

@@Issengan thank you ❤️

[@johnslawnseasttn4489]

I bet listening to creepypasta during the storm is at very least entertaining. hoping for the best for y'all down there. I have fam in Lakeland Tampa and Bradenton

[@Charles36.]

Love space ocean or god like stories they are always the best.

[@king81992]

Thumbnail Image- A regular day at the Ancient God Rehabilitation Center. If MC doesn't like answering assistant questions, he should hire the experts.

[@hannahmetzger6622]

Me: *Filing reports for the Department of Supernatural Social Services (DSSS [got the name from a game, PLEASE don't judge me] for short).* Also me: *Sees some supernatural, next level Eldritch Abomination-type bullshit go down.* *Sighs.* Just another day at the office...

[@kentworch]

Thank you Mr Creeps for everything you do. This one was a bit different, but definitely interesting. Way to keep it fresh.🖤

[@jaydensmiley2438]

Looking forward to listen to this during work

[@LezlyLikesYuri]

This absolutely needs to be an anime! Monster of the week style progression with absolutely no overarching drama and the barest amount of internal plot. Basically just a really weird slice of life centered on the core group of eldritch social workers in a Black Butler esc relationship with each other. Each episode or two deals with a single entity struggling to adapt to modern society and the shenanigans the core cast get into trying to integrate the outer gods with humanity. All of this framed with the seriousness of an SCP file, but with the tone and humor of Men In Black... Two seasons and a movie, an obligatory beach episode, some tasteful fan service from a few shapeshifting old ones, and cute plushy/bobblehead merch. Come on internet, do your thing!

[@leek.3671]

100% would be down for this!!

[@NoahGooder]

I fully agree as well

[@Justin-xd7zj]

Brilliant

[@patchyworx]

I'm here for it, we need this to exist

[@ivansmirnov7342]

Haiiyore! Nyaruko - san.

[@NoOne-fo1di]

I FUCKING love these types of stories, even the badly written ones. This one however is great.

[@ericfaith2810]

The Miskatonic Universities’s Fighting Cephalopods! Go Pods!!! BTW this sounds like William Burroughs and Howard Lovecraft having. A VERY eccentric conversation. Quite fascinating.

[@beanseason6515]

What a title. Definitely going to enjoy this, keep up the good work

[@williamelliott186]

This was extremely well written

[@King_kami36]

That angel situation was beautifully done. No immortal just not as fragile as us. Intended to be caretakers …takes care of us the way we do the planet!!! Amazing

[@brettoelschlager8249]

Damn, they should really do a massive community led writing project with this premise. Oh wait.

[@nnzzj]

ey dont go leaking classified foundation data now

[@yomogami4561]

wow this one could be the basis of a streaming horror series

[@jesuscarpio3304]

About to go to sleep to this

[@Peckerwood-502]

Elmer Fudd reciting the Necronomicon. One of the best things I’ve ever heard someone else say. Definitely original.

[@amandacastle7209]

I would love to see this turned into a movie or TV show 😍

[@jackdurden466]

That was interesting. Although I have no idea what happened at the end. Perhaps a sequel is in the works. Definitely a unique story, close to another but way different in the basics and direction. Closest one I can recall was where they trapped and either killed cryptids, via Braun, or just held them imprisoned. This is better I think, I’ve always been really curious about any tales of elder gods. Small g. So I’m good with a sequel, hope one’s coming! 👍

[@wariyoshidirector]

I had to relisten to the end because I was only half paying attention while walking my dog, but I think I got it. A German cobbler 500 years ago gets the sudden compulsion to kill his wife, kids, and a few other people. He then uses their remains and some mechanical components to create an anomalous computer before killing himself. Nobody knows how or why he made the computer so the narrator hires a computer scientist to investigate. The computer scientist is dumb enough to connect the computer to the Internet and it causes a bunch of mischief. One of these incidents is that it puts a psychic computer virus thing into a little girl's ear implant while she is undergoing surgery. The computer's main purpose turns out to be that it's trying to contact God for some reason. The psychic virus turns the hospital into a trap, then emits a psychic shout that only angels can hear. An angel is curious and comes to see what the ruckus is, only to be trapped in the hospital. Furious, the angel makes every human in the hospital come towards it to find out who set the trap, but nobody did. So when the narrator enters the hospital and finds the angel, he realizes that the angel has been waiting for him to show up. The angel tells the narrator to release him, but the narrator knows that the angel will kill him if he does. He also knows that the angel will die soon, however if the angel dies then the other angels across the world will hunt him down and kill him anyway. He tells the angel that he'll let him go if the angel promises not to kill him and his assistants. The angel responds by immediately killing the guards and the narrator thinks he's going to die, until the angel tells him that he hasn't had a pet in a while and suddenly agrees to his terms. The video ends with the narrator talking to his bosses and they're shocked that the angel agreed not to kill him. He says that the angel wanted to know more about God, but the topic was incredibly taboo in angel culture so he was more than happy to work for the narrator's organization in exchange for being able to read all their documents on God. The council asks him what he's going to name the angel, when it turns out that the narrator's assistant IS the angel and he wants to be called Uriel. The twist is that the angel is the narrator's "assistant", but really he's just hanging around the narrator as a sort of pet for fun.

[@jackdurden466]

@@wariyoshidirector ok sure, I can go with that. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@stevenyanis9051]

These types of stories make me suspend disbelief so easily

[@Melski87]

Omg I hope this is a series!

[@LLGuerra]

Awesome narration and stories. Highly recommend.

[@jacksonschenk361]

I need a part 2

[@duke222222]

The fact you're reading this in such a sultry voice is creeping me out more than the story

[@beyond_the_tequila_rift3194]

This would make for a great movie!! I love the concept that Humans are op and can even lock down eldritch beings!! Also interactions with gods who are re-entering society!! 🤣🤝

[@hellothere589]

Anyone else just imagined cthulhu being called into HR for calling someone the n word

[@cryptomancer2927]

The first thing I thought of when I heard what happens when your devoured by Keith is why not change the world. Like change it. Get rid of everyone corrupt in power. Like seriously wipe them out. They can't stop you. People will just ignore your doings. It gives you purpose and drive. Might even keep you sane long enough to see it through

[@nelsonperez007]

100 million years…..

[@luisanthony]

Was the cryptocurrency reference about the one that pays for pain?

[@cathrinewhite7629]

Christian Wallis is a god of writing!👏😅

[@johnboyharold6130]

This guy's voice two mins in enough for me .

[@SWA81]

Omfg this story is awesome

[@tygriffin9875]

...all aside ..the ending angel should have been the beginning....

[@liltech-9]

Bruh these stories getting wilder wnd wilder 😭😭

[@lonewolfnergiganos4000]

The thumbnail looks amazing 💙😁

[@butterballin]

Poor keith..... not a thought behind those eyes

[@lambrosk3790]

“Their heads looking like giant thumbs.” I knew Joe Rogan was probably a clone but never thought there was more than one.

[@raintamer8121]

Nice job! (Smite Announcer voice)

[@brianangelsantos]

If a God needs rehabilitation then tht thing ain't no God no more

[@aly.9172]

oooo im early, i love these stories as background noise for my life

[@InkSans_FandomSoda]

Ok but like this is actually weirdly cute and I love this.

[@joelaramore3027]

Great storyline ❤

[@jonathanhensley6141]

A hyper cube would an awesome prison for elder gods and finding out what their dna hold by sequencing their genome. The elder gods remind me of the celestials who engineer life.

[@PunisherMAXXImmortal]

I bet half, minimum, of these stories are based in reality 😳

[@NoahGooder]

funfact the subreddit this comes from has I think rules that suggest any commenters believe it is real and comment accordingly

[@mitchhunter01]

@@NoahGooder what's the page these come from?

[@treeeyed8578]

@@NoahGooder dude tell me that subbredit now

[@NoahGooder]

@@mitchhunter01 if I remember its r/nosleep

[@NoahGooder]

@@treeeyed8578 r/nosleep

[@NoahGooder]

ok this has me laughing ALOT while also some parts in fear

[@LezlyLikesYuri]

Is that a pudgy, shiny, vision impaired Goodra I see? Adorable 😍

[@theconfusedvampire]

38:07 But... violet eyes still exist, they're just rare.

[@rofflesvanwagon]

Trying to get Cthulhu off those percs is hard.

[@subzerofire]

I discovered mr nightmare before mr creeps, they should collab, it would be a hell of a story

[@BlankEmporium]

Remember kids, if it can talk to humans and can be contained it is not a Eldritch God. It's just a god.

[@perplexorone6201]

Man I want a part 2

[@angelicakaufman7183]

So because dude just doesn't have the time or temperament to do his job that computer got a port

[@deniseb2752]

I truly enjoy this on my way to work. Thank you

[@ShapesWithoutColors]

I was excited by the title, but it immediately went Lovecraftian and destroyed my suspension of disbelief.

[@pogostixz]

I need more of this one

[@RaineCarosin]

Oh, my Word/World ... you should all be listening around the fire ... it may stop the rot ...

[@Gfish17]

So Keith is the reason Joe schmo is the way he is.😂

[@uvexeorozahagan5385]

Just reading the title of this alone, made me go "why in the fuck would yoy do that?!"

[@atomicsamurai8967]

I forgot about how good this channel is

[@gabrealramirez8392]

Was there a ever part 2 to this masterpiece

[@kevincaruthers5412]

Very interesting. The boss seems to be a sociopath. Guess you would have to be in that job.

[@memnocktdevil]

Nice! More from that world please🤣

[@RivianTramp]

As a blue collar worker I can say, we ain't no bitches. If we find a dark deep hole that leads to nowhere we're going to explore it.

[@ryanember3978]

I wonder if the author or reader know about the occult BOB and it's implication with the fallen angels/nephilim

[@feliciachildress1435]

Please tell me this is a complete series!

[@jerodrobinson4040]

When Your Friend turns to Run from the Bear do not move a Muscle. The Bears Predatorial Instinct 's will force it to Chase Your Friend and it will Run right passed You...

[@bookend2002]

Really? That's a lot to take on faith...

[@jerodrobinson4040]

@@bookend2002 It's Instinct. Bear's are Hardwired to Chase Prey. If Your Run it's going after You.

[@sidneyhubert8181]

Animals can be unpredictable. The bear could just attack you while your friend runs away.

[@jerodrobinson4040]

@@sidneyhubert8181 Look I don't care what You do lol. I'm not offended that Your not taking My Advice.

[@jerodrobinson4040]

@@sidneyhubert8181Look I'm Personally not stepping a Foot into Bear Territory without a Gun. Discharging a Round into the Dirt right in front of it is the Best way to differentiate Yourself from Prey.

[@brennalacecrow]

I love this! I want more!

[@hot_coldman]

That was really good

[@stevencotton9657]

So the gods are more like ancient powerfully children

[@LordGusion]

BA da da da da...... I'm Lovin It. A pantheon of lovecraftian horrors, yes please!. GG Boils and Ghouls

[@Gigi-wn2pv]

I need a part two😅

[@TheGreySage0]

Uriel on Earth?There must be a good reason for it 😉

[@NoahGooder]

I think the angel took the name Uriel because it sounded right.

[@blitzritter7867]

Sounds more like am anime than a creepypasta

[@LezlyLikesYuri]

That's what I said!

[@youtubeconnollyfamily]

How can you go wrong with a title like that

[@astk5214]

11:00 I think she's worse, the other guys were hustling, she's just F'ing people up for fun

[@wheezecheese2651]

To be fair she was in a cave for 100 million years. Got to be boring tbh

[@Digitalhunny]

Who are you Christian Wallis? You _wrote_ this?! it is _absolutely brilliant!_ Just captures the imagination & _runs_ away with it into horrific glory. Just epic! THANK YOU, WHOMEVER YOU _REALLY_ ARE? You nightmare inducing King! 😘💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@upiafia1810]

Hey.. Can you pls add subtitles? It will really help

[@NoahGooder]

the story is linked in the video description. tho I do feel your pain. I only have access to the speakers which are part of my laptop and they hare hit or miss.

[@MrKsan05]

I get the feeling the guy who sat down and made this story up is also a B-list movie writer.