MrGirl Debate Leads Destiny Into SA Talk w/ Brittany Simon And Aella

[@LastNightDestiny]

Destiny Actually Gets Mad, Confronts NotSoErudite And Brittany To Defend Himself (Part 2) ►kzbin.info/www/bejne/gIHHZKJ7js97ptE

[@synchronium24]

The link isn't to a Part 2.

[@dominicdunn2579]

​@@synchronium24 it's a part 2 to this Convo which I haven't heard fully but I guess Brittany has a prob with something destiny said but I'm still catching up after coming back from jail 🤐

[@hiimricky9617]

@@synchronium24 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮😢😢😢😢😢

[@geoffreybenecewicz2013]

@@synchronium24 ouuoup

[@ate0844]

You cant compare SA to fighting and then have the examples you bring up be grape on one hand and then some scuffles you got into in school or outside of a club where all of your buddies are around and you "felt like an anime character" on the other. It'd be like talking about the differences between beef and chicken and comparing wagyu to a chicken mcnugget. If you're in a fight where there's nobody around to save you and you LOSE with the only thing between living or dying being how much restraint the other person has you won't be laughing it off, you wont think its badass, you'll have the same struggle with lack of autonomy, societal expectation, etc.

[@tesselate8nowait262]

Right. I feel that she’s trying to apply her perspective of fights she’s had to all peoples’ fights/getting jumped. She fought and enjoys the fact that she has cool stories to tell about how strong and brave she was. She likes that feeling; she’s a literal BDSM masochist. Most people don’t enjoy being beaten lol. I know guys that have to sit facing exits due to PTSD. There’s a powerlessness to being beaten for no good reason. Rape is violating in a different way.

[@thefeverdream]

@@tesselate8nowait262 I think shes talking about rights in HS where people are watching and teachers are 20 feet away. Her fights are probably the ones where you at the most have a black eye but never gets worse. I highly doubt she’s been in an actual scary fight where you can’t predict what other person will do

[@kylerBD]

Exactly what I thought. Real dangerous fights aren't fun, they aren't exciting and you don't feel like an anime character. Right once i heard her say that i knew she has never been in a real dangerous fight before. Imagine fighting someone and waking up with half your teeth knocked out, major concussion with a tbi and internal bleeding. That is a real violent fight. Not 2 girls throwing slaps at eachother.

[@smokydave]

I agree with this, however there are also cases where the rape victim is murdered afterwards at the whim of the rapist. This is a very nuanced discussion that is muddied by taboos. There are "rapes" where the girl was asleep and only found out she was raped cause someone told them the next day. There are fights where it's just two guys who got in an argument about sports, exchanged some punches, then drank beers after. There are also rapes where the woman is killed and eaten after. There are also fights where the guy is murdered or left crippled for life. But as always liberals trip over simplistic labels and categories "is rape worse than getting beaten up", its like saying "is being shot worse than being hit by a vehicle". If I'm shot point blank in the face with a shotgun, its probably as bad as being hit by a high speed truck. If I'm shot with a tiny gun in the foot it's probably as bad as being hit by a moped at medium speed.

[@Macheako]

Nah dude. Anything women go through is OBJECTIVELY worse than whatever us men have to go through….. It’s just absolutely True all the time, for everyone 😢

[@DudokX]

Something happened to Brianna in the last month. She went from crazy twitter person to seemingly trying to understand and work with people she would try to bully or cancel just few months ago. I get why people are not sure or don't yet trust her. If this is sincere then good for her, change like that is not easy and the vast majority of people are incapable of doing it with all the social pressure to conform to your bubble.

[@Doncergio]

If she keeps it up then that’s great bc we have another good faith streamer. If she slips and loses her mind we get a flash of some good content. It’s a win-win for the audience!

[@hmkhgx8068]

Maybe it was the talk with erudite?

[@dtwduuvaaall6865]

Considering she was one of the cringe people calling you a Nazi for playing Hogwarts I'd say she's come a long way in a short time

[@fitch9782]

isn't that like a real hardcore life ruiner, job ender, style crazy twitter person?

[@SDREHXC]

@@fitch9782yes

[@bearjack3629]

I've been traumatised by fights. Nobody seems to understand me when women say it's unsafe for them to walk alone at night and I say me too. I'm not strong, I'm not confident in handling myself and have a mini heart attack anytime I see a dude hooded up.

[@masterofreality230]

Man, I used to be confident, cocky even, but years of drug abuse and manual labor did me in, so instead of living in fear, I know pack heat lol

[@bearjack3629]

@@xlretard Im wearing a hood myself most of the time or a beanie for the same reason. It really annoys me that these feelings don't make sense.

[@sullivan3503]

@@bearjack3629 This isn't about either of you.

[@ungabungacaveman9021]

@@sullivan3503 who’s it about?

[@koopysandwich8423]

They don't understand you because what happens to them in the outside world has an insanely small chance of happening to you anywhere outside of prison. While it's true a fight can traumatize you, your fear is more of an irrational one. Nobody is drugging you to fight you. Nobody is putting you in positions where you can't say no just to challenge you to fisticuffs. Nobody is stalking you to hand you an invitation to a duel. To reiterate, I am NOT saying that you cannot be traumatized by a fight, nor am I saying that because a fear is irrational, it has no basis in reality. I don't think less of you for feeling however you do about it. You may go out at night and someone may try to rob you and beat you up. The difference is, statistically, you don't ALSO have to wonder what they're going to stick in your ass.

[@Beefcake1073]

As someone who’s been jumped. You don’t get pumped like a amine character. You get brain damage and have reoccurring nightmares about being beaten senseless. And you become stupid good at always watching your surroundings. And being in large groups of people gives you anxiety. But SA I imagine is way worse.

[@lampad4549]

Damn I've been jumped and that didn't happen to me, did you go see a therapist to deal with that?

[@elksion9634]

@@lampad4549 Depends how badly you are beaten, and the kind of person you are in general. Also how likely are you to think that you will be jumped again. If you get jumped because of something you specifically did it's probably different than being jumped for just existing.

[@DeadKujak]

When I was in middle school, a group of boys were getting in trouble and thought I snitched on them. When they confronted me in the locker room about it I got angry and told them to back off. They then held me down and whipped my back with a wire hanger and holding my mouth shut in front of the team. Chalked it up to “just got jumped” for years but only realized recently how bad it fucked my ability to stand up for myself and be confrontational. I almost compulsively feel like I have to over explain myself so no one’s ever mad at me. I’d say that was pretty traumatic, but I’d always cope with “well it’s not like they raped me.”

[@TonyCox1351]

@Jessie they can but it’s not easy. You actually have to work at it and confront your demons, most who enter therapy aren’t up to it

[@TonyCox1351]

@Jessie the “demon” is trauma and any feelings that can come from that trauma, such as anxiety, fear, depression, intrusive thoughts, etc. A good therapist will teach you how to deal with those feelings in healthy way, they won’t just tell you to carry mace

[@Chudwinthrob]

Every max debate I watch turns out the exact same way it’s excruciating

[@erikbrus8388]

Hello Dawson! 😉 Many read Rollos books or listen to red pill online, these 3 videos is all you need to understand female nature: The truth about female nature 9 min: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eqG9d51ma69nipo The Manufacturing Of Love | A Discussion: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o6nNp6WBbdZ2isU the last video is the first in a 9 video series on the same channel: Understanding women part 1 solipsism: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jpOWfJKbf9ybe9E

[@sturenorth]

Its labour free content for Destiny.

[@soccerwizard975]

And I still watch the trainwreck

[@nobodyz2700]

It's entertaining

[@NoInFoo8]

Unfortunately zherka is the only one to effectively defeat him in conversation

[@juanmejiagomez5514]

Imo if you were to compare rape to something non-sexual it would probably be closer to torture than being jumped, because I think the common denominator that makes it really traumatic is the powerlessness you feel in the encounter, rather than the physical damage per se. What makes it feel icky also probably has to do with the idea of someone getting off to doing to you something you’re really agains and using your body for their own gratification

[@ajax4676]

I think being jumped is a much better and more relatable example. 3 or 4 guys jumping you checks all the boxes you’ve just named.

[@jackainthere]

@@ajax4676 bloody nose, black eye, concussion, god forbid internal organs being effected. Jumped is worse depending on what grape

[@noemad5391]

​@@jackainthereehhh. I see what your saying but you could literally flip that statement and it still be true. "Being raped is worse, internal vaginal bleeding, years of therapy, possible pregnancy depending on the jumping of course" see because someone could jump you and just give you a bloody nose or a black eye, and that is no where near as bad as being raped. Kids get bloody noses and black eyes all the time most the time it's not even from fights. Now the concussion and internal bleeding part yeah way more serious. But not all jumping leaves you hospitalized. Now not all rapes leave you hospitalized, but the damage done is psychological and it's serious. And way harder to heal from than a physical injury.

[@peewee130946]

Anybody seeing this comment turn away now this conversation goes literally nowhere because max derails the entire thing the second lav gets mentioned.

[@Xenomorph6793]

Thanks dude I am taking this sincerely and just yelling the f'huck out 👏👉

[@TheIMZ123]

He misspoke lmao

[@AbysmalEnd]

Thanks bro saved me an hour and a half lol

[@peewee130946]

@@TheIMZ123 fuck massive L 😭

[@SonGoku-vf4qk]

This conversation literally highlights why I am so happy they both fucked off out of the dgg space. Besides, when destiny likes to melt his brain, listening to them on other shows.

[@limitedhangoutlive]

“If my kid died of cancer, I’d be like whatever that’s life” - Britany Can we please stop having people with no children talk about having children? As a father of two daughters, you just have no idea what your brain does when you have kids. I thought I’d never be able to love them as much as myself, but something happens to your brain, literally, afterwards that is indescribable unless you’ve lived it.

[@trauerfeierlied760]

To be charitable, i think her point was not to discredit the absolute hell you go through as a parent when your child gets terminally ill but to point out the different engagement between your child getting sick and your child being raped. One is "nature" and the other one is the fault of another person.

[@MenchieExtrakt]

@@trauerfeierlied760 I completely agree with you. That was just a huge miscommunication. Obviously she doesn’t think her children dying is just “whatever”

[@TonyCox1351]

Also this whole “if someone touched my child I would murder them” virtue signal needs to die out. 99.9% whose child is assaulted, don’t take justice into their own hands. Yet everyone talks like they are the 0.1% badass.

[@camkraw893]

@@TonyCox1351 lol what? What a weird thing to be tilted about and claim is virtue signaling. Yikes

[@MenchieExtrakt]

@@camkraw893 It is virtue signalling when people want to proof how masculine and threatening they are.

[@larryh2099]

Aella joins at 45:42

[@Thechosen223]

Gotta say I've been in fights I didn't want and those were traumatizing. You alter you life around that situation and usually just start to keep your head on a swivel from then on if your not seeking it out, also to add getting in a fight and getting the shit kicked outta you are different things. I hear her saying fights are much less traumatic and sure but getting jumped or beaten up is traumatizing try being pumped or hype being drunk and not remembering being in a fight and waking up with your jaw broken

[@kylerBD]

I feel like being so drunk you dont remember being jumped/beat up is much less traumatic than remembering it all no?

[@Thechosen223]

@@kylerBD from personal experience idk, I feel like knowing would help with the processing of the thing like I was beaten up so bad my jaw broke in 2 places. Idk how it went down I feel like I can picture the incident in a haze but idk if I'm remembering or making up thoughts. I think I got stomped and that affects me more so then knowing if it did or didn't happen cause I would rather a definitive thing

[@kylerBD]

@@Thechosen223 Actually, the more I think about it, the more I agree with what you said. It's like being SA'd, I think I would like to remember all of it aswell. My mind would play more tricks on me and thinking on what actually happened would make me spiral. Then again, I haven't had either happen, so who knows how I would react.

[@Thechosen223]

@@kylerBD I hear ya and honestly my main point in responding would just be to how I felt the women minimized the truma and scars people can have from those altercations much like in a negative sexual encounter so I'd just want them to understand it more in the same way. Both things can really mess you up

[@priscillaagyemang2271]

Honestly I do think the internal organs being violated does have dif aspect. We can’t really change our society, so as a sexually repressed society- a rape will be more traumatic imho

[@pinbraid]

"Peter pan of rape, I collect all the lost kids" These people are psycho!

[@vidzorko4492]

He collects little kids for fun! True!

[@TonyCox1351]

Max is crazy but I don’t think his analogy was wrong here. A lot would feel lost in Brianna’s “enthusiastic consent” model

[@johnspain]

lol you know destiny misses mr girl for his edgy statments his face lit up when he said that lol #rebuildthebridge

[@santieldasavage]

That shit had me crying 😭🤣🤣🤣

[@JustN0tMe]

Chill it was a joke 😑

[@tunnelman5756]

High level aella conversations are a huge breathe of fresh air, finally feels like we get some old destiny back which is becoming rarer with all the brainlets in orbit recently

[@Camibug]

4:25 I’m so glad they updated the definition of rape. A few years ago I was using the restroom, a man broke in m, beat me, and sexually assaulted me. Since he used his fingers to penetrate me, it wasn’t rape and he got off pretty light.

[@gloriouspurpose_]

holy sh*t

[@GomulDart]

where did this happen if you dont mind answering? like country/state?

[@Lou-uw4rn]

@@GomulDart it's a joke making fun of how bad this definition is.

[@GomulDart]

@@Lou-uw4rn I see. Unfortunately there are places in the world where this joke could be reality. I was just curious because I'd be shocked if that happened in the US. But I can see now the point of the joke

[@amazin7006]

​@@Lou-uw4rn It wasn't a joke, she's a real person

[@lissaw4]

Also, I feel like we are taking the loud voices online and painting a very broad brush. Especially in how women respond to R/SA and that people think of all negative sexual experiences/trauma to the same degree - to the point that it's a bit nonsensical and ignoring what we actually see/know offline. The reality is, the vast majority of women who've experienced this don't think every man would do that to them, swear off talking to men, forever live in a tiny personal bubble after the fact, etc. Most women don't walk away from bad sex and call/think about it as SA. They just complain and talk shit about it after. We know this... It's complained about and stereotyped constantly from both men and women. The general public seems to disagree on the stealthing point (outside of being online.) The vast majority of people would agree that it's messed up, immoral, and unethical. However, they rarely agree that it's just as severe or traumatizing as R - so long as the overall sexual act was consensual, outside of removing the condom. I mean, stealthing wasn't really even discussed or viewed as completely wrong until the couple of years. Outside of prior trauma, most view it as being gross, angering, violating, or messed up - not traumatic in the same way as R/SA. Regarding the "worse than murder" concept that you think the general population would agree on - I think this is way more nuanced than presented and that the vast majority would disagree when discussing the actual acts of the offense. That said, people aren't comparing the actual act of these 2 offenses. They are really comparing the after effects. They are worried about the psychological and physical side effects that the victim will experience *_after_* the initial act. People feel better about 1 of those victims not having the possibility of long term effects impacting their lives. Most people agree that staying alive is obviously the best outcome. Similar to how people would say being kidnapped, held captive for months/years, and tortured would be worse than being murdered. It's about the psychological/physical suffering that will be experienced in the long term.

[@Ryuu44]

Destiny says he never heard a guy talking he has a panic attack because 3 guys entered a bar. I was bullied for a while as a teenager and you can bet I never talked about getting panic attacks or barely stopping myself from having a panic attack, but that shit was there. I just felt I can't tell anybody because I'm already bullied. Especially when claiming "3 guys just entered the bar. Please help me or I'll faint" was EXACTLY the type of behavior that bullies were targeting as the un-manly, and pussy behavior. Guys having problems with addressing their emotion is definetly a thing. Not just because I was like that. Because of having that experienced helped me notice it in others, and because of that I was more capable of forcing some of my friends to open up.

[@vsb3000]

Yeah that’s horrible and I think problem is men don’t share enough so we just assume they don’t have trauma

[@valipunctro]

Yeah...I was lucky and I don't have panic attacks but when I remember it still gives me that feeling of powerlessness 20 years later

[@maxim377]

Hope things get better buddy

[@Sonyboj]

@@maxim377 it dosent

[@maxim377]

@@Sonyboj SEZ U

[@Diametric_]

Mr. Girl waits five seconds between his sentences, so Briannu, like a normal person, responds to him in that gap. But then Mr. Girl gets all pissy because she's "interrupting" him

[@ProximoK]

“My brother got jumped by three guys because HE cut them off” “But when I told my family that I was assaulted they asked me if I cut anyone off” I don’t even know where to start with this and think it’s an intellectual dead end from the jump.

[@TonyCox1351]

Yeah her story didn’t make sense to me there because she said her family gave her brother a hard time for his role in getting jumped, and then it seemed like they similarly asked about her role in her r*pe

[@peanutbutter4949]

Im a female, and my family has a history of alcohol addiction. Sometimes i can drink a 5th of liquor and be in control and remember, other times I have 1 shot and immediately blackout. My issue was when I was blacked out, i still functioned as if I was sober, most people could not tell that I was that intoxicated. But i would wake the next day not remembering anything that happened the night before. But the people having s*x with me could not have been able to tell that I was blacked out, because i was an enthusiastic participate in said act (from what others told me about how I was acting). I cant turn around and call that person a r*pest just because i dont remember it the next day, if I was showing all the right signals and participating actively during the act, how the hell would they even know? I have to take personal responsibility for myself, and make my own choices not to drink in certain situations and make sure I am very straight forward and direct with the people around me.

[@peanutbutter4949]

From the guys perspective, I was a willing participant. But in reality I was blackout drunk and have no memory of what was happening. How can i put the blame on them? Im honesty curious, because i feel like this situation is difficult. My sober self wouldn't have had sex with them, but they couldn't tell that i wasnt sober. So does blame actually matter? Or should I just be more aware of my own issues and behave accordingly

[@hian]

Sex involving alcohol is very complicated, indeed, because it involves lowered inhibitions and inhibitions are neither inherently good or bad. I can think of many things I wouldn't be able to do sober, but that I would definitely take ownership of because I made the choice to drink for the express purpose of lowering inhibitions I didn't want to hold me down in the first place. Obviously, there the opposite is also true. Ultimately, I think sex under the influence also requires a particularist approach that shows appreciation for factors like how much alcohol was consumed, what the participants acted like and expressed during the act etc. It's simultaneously simple and hard. It's simple because clearly a person has commited sexual assault if they're only slightly inebriated and their partner is unconscious or appearing uncomfortable with the act. However, it's difficult because short of having witnesses or the act on tape etc, it's ultimately the word of one against the other - both testimonials undermined by intoxication. All I can say is that it's probably not a good idea to drink at all if you recognize it may make you do things you'll regret, and, that if you are going to drink; it should probably be with the inner strength of being able to accept the consequences of actions you took while inebriated. Of course, this doesn't imply to situations when you're literally unconscious or so drunk that another sober person may take advantage of you knowingly. Those types of ordeals fall squarely on the perpetrator. However, when mutual inebriation is the case, and neither are unconscious or obviously out of it, responsibility lies with both parties but for the obvious reason that alcohol doesn't magically turn them into mindless automatons and nobody forced them at gun-point to consume alcohol in the first place - especially considering if the two both know drinking lowers inhibitions and chose to drink regardless.

[@peanutbutter4949]

@@hian i think my main point is to put myself in the other person's shoes. I know that technically what happened to me was r*pe, but the guy participating had no idea i was that far gone so i cant blame him for his actions. Especially if in his experience I was a very willing participant in said acts. But I can learn from it and put safely mechanisms up so that I dont have to go through the same thing.

[@hian]

@@peanutbutter4949 My point is that I'm not sure I agree with that classification of r*pe nor do I think it's healthy to think of it that way even if in retrospect you regret the incident. Suppose you got blackout drunk and fell asleep atop a vibrator. Were you r*ped? I think that partical type of sexual assault requires a conscious actor knowingly violenting consent. We draw distinction between murder and involuntary man-slaughter for a reason, and so I find it really disturbing that people treat r*ape differently. If I trip in a staircase and knock the person down the staircase and to their death, I did not murder them and they were not murdered. If a person has sex under the influence in good faith with another person also under the influence, then they did not ra*pe them, and so neither were anyone ra*ped. It's categorically confused to think otherwise. Better we create a new classification for those accidents(because that is what they are) than use a loaded term and way of viewing them that probably actually makes people feel worse about what happened than they probably would otherwise. It's also betrays a pretty ugly fact about the distinction between the sexes and an unfair and unreasonable bias in favor of women's experiences. Consider that when most men wake up next to a woman after an encounter being blackout drunk, their average reaction is either one of elation or going "oh damn. What did I do? Crapcrapcrap," whereas women often immediately jump to feeling "violated". This in an of itself is unacceptable imo. Men should not assume they've done something wrong here any more than woman should assume something wrong has been done to them. The healthy and measured response to this is: "Ooops. I guess I had a few too many yesterday. But, it's just sex. It isn't the end of the world." Drawing parallels between r*pe and inebriated, seemingly consensual sex by mutual accident is grotesque as far as I'm concerned.

[@peanutbutter4949]

@@hian when i say that it was r*pe, I mean the majority of normies think of it as rape. And i have a problem with that because I dont see it like that

[@darkychao]

MrGirl saying Brianna is gish galloping when she's taking a normal amount ot time to build out a single point while whenever he talks it's a torrent of unparseable nonsense bouncing between dozens of points is infuriating.

[@SusieEffin]

especially when he agreed to do it in the first place- i bet he intends to be obstinate the second it begins bc he's such a tryhard. He's a combo of narcissistic and thirsty that gives me the feeling he lobbies to be on your stream, then acts like he's doing you a favor by being there- threatening to blow it up immediately unless you do it his way. Total crazymaker. Where he now, tho? lol

[@chleepy]

that girl describing her brother getting jumped is insane

[@mcmuffin8784]

Maybe getting raped could be more traumatic, but hearing her telling her brothers story of being jumped on like it’s a fond memory is pretty surreal

[@chleepy]

@@mcmuffin8784 she makes it so hard to take it serious. she bigs herself up about being able to fight multiple people but powerless in a 1v1 S.A... boggles my mind 😭 im convinced she either hasnt processed what happened to this day or shes a ditz

[@seavpal]

@@chleepy why not both? But yeah Brittany is wierd, and convinced she's the norm instead of an outlier.

[@stratajon]

Something that annoyed me a little bit when the woman came in at about 24 minutes is her describing the differences between a sexual assault and a physical, none sexual assault. It seemed very much to me that the thoughts were around being attacked, not being in a fight. These aren't the same things. I'd much rather be in a fight than be sexually assaulted. As to whether I'd rather be sexually assaulted or physically, that's tough to say. I'm not a woman, I can't get pregnant. But I've had both done to me, and I'd much prefer the sexual assault again. A physical assault isn't a "Fight" and it can, and does, affect you mentally for the rest of your life. Nightmares, constantly being defensive, having your fight or flight response kicking in at the tiniest none existent things, these all happen from physical assault. I believe they happen from sexual as well-But in my experience, they didn't. It's immensely frustrating to hear someone spouting about which of the two is debilitation disgusting where their two examples of physical assault were a fight and getting slapped. In terms of sexual assault-Those would be the equivalent of being groped. It's awful, it's not nice, but it doesn't destroy your world. A full on sexual assault and a full on physical assault are on a totally different level.

[@stratajon]

Yeah nah, I kept listening because I hoped that I would eventually come around to a point that I can understand. I've just become more and more irritated and at this point I'm honestly pretty convinced that she hasn't ever actually been in a full blown fight. I can believe the slap thing. I could believe like, maybe an even fight where her and the other person came out relatively the same. But a full blown fight where she got genuinely messed up? I don't think she's ever been through that. Or even seen it happen to someone else-I very much doubt it. Maybe I'm horribly wrong, but those are the feelings I get. Honestly makes me feel a little sick to hear someone diminishing how badly getting truly messed up in a fight (Even ignoring it as being physical assault) can affect a person. A huge part of my life was basically taken away because of the things I'd gone through (Yes I know, anecdotal-But so are the things she said.) and causes me to entirely avoid people.

[@Senu461]

My tentative diagnosis of Mr. Girl is that he is a malignant narcissist. The way he interacts with people is shrouded in a constant battle for power, confusion and destruction if power is not attained and if power is attained, belittling or disregarding the other person's argument/ feelings to show dominance. His stoic outer shell is consistent with his inability to experience a complex range of emotions. He uses and latches on to people who serve a purpose, but once he has gotten all he can get or the relationship no longer serves him positively, he drops it like a bad habit. He like codependent relationships (his gf and lav) because he knows he has nothing to offer to anyone around him so the only way he can keep people around him is to manipulate them into thinking they need him or that he's the only one on their side. He need to control the narrative so he makes up arbitrary rules you have to follow to engage with him. This shows his paranoia and constant fear that people are out to get him and reinforces his need to have control. I think that Mr.Girl should be analyzed more. He is a public malignant narcissist who seems to not be making an effort to mask, giving people a peek behind the veil. It's interesting to watch. I am not a professional, I am just making a guess.

[@poadude]

I diagnose you with a terminal case of online

[@vikkipink1288]

I’m not sure about the malignant part, I think they are usually the ones that end up as serial killers which who knows that could be max but I have done a ton of research on just grandiose and vulnerable narcissists because I’ve known both and by far the vulnerable ones are so much because they can hide it for much longer and they tend to be more skilled at manipulation. I think max fits the description of one to a tee and someone like Andrew Tate is a great example of a grandiose narcissist. They tend to be very loudly full of themselves.

[@QMS9224]

Reminds me of my mom, unfortunately

[@Senu461]

@Vikki Pink I was thinking grandiose. Then I changed after watching his video with his GF. He is sadistic not just emotionally but physically as well. Coupled with the paranoia, it's troubling.

[@RockPile_]

as a psychologist... nah

[@BryanJordan1]

Aella is SUCH a fucking breath of fresh air... She's a superstar conversationalist. No SJW/woke vibes from her. Just logic, good faith, and smart takes.

[@Benbones99]

Bruh, Brittneys take was brain dead compared to hers.

[@SusieEffin]

I really enjoyed hearing her talk, I actually wanted it to keep going! It was such a shocking contrast to his usual panelists that it really put things in perspective. sheesh. I didn't realize until now how much it elevates the convo to give Destiny someone on his level. Its like when he's doing a debate against 3 people and only one of them makes good points- i just want the other 2 to stop cutting in on the interesting convo lol.

[@joseptea]

I think the real reason that rape feels more violating then getting jumped is literally just because sex in and of itself is supposed to be an enjoyable thing but the person raping you turns it into something horrific which would make the experience even worse if you are someone who ties love and sex together. Now the same cannot be said with getting beaten to a pulp. There is no context in which a sane person would desire getting beaten up and it be viewed as a positive experience which is why I think rape is different because your robbing sex of its true purpose and forever morphing its perception in the mind of the victim where as everyone understands that getting beaten up feels bad in any context. There is no radical morphing of perceptions there. It's not like a healthy person goes around having a positive view of fighting and actively desiring it but then change their mind after getting jumped

[@lampad4549]

Doesn't rough housing and sparing make for a fun experience I imagine maybe women don't find it but for guys play fighting is very fun but I guess somehow it isn't the same I don't know why. Fight club shows this really well how fighting can be fun.

[@johnsonjunior547]

How does it turn into something horrific

[@MenchieExtrakt]

@@lampad4549 i think op should’ve compared sex to sparring instead of getting beaten. I assume people don’t play fight to get beaten. I think in a play fight, both people need to be alert and defensive. Whereas during sex, you’re suppose to let yourself go and be less guarded. Getting rped changes that nature of sex, whereas the nature of sparring stays the same even if you got jumped.

[@TonyCox1351]

@@johnsonjunior547 it probably brings back memories of the r*pe when you have sex in the future, potentially sullying what is supposed to be one of the most pleasurable experiences in life

[@TonyCox1351]

@@lampad4549 most men don’t really rough house or play fight after they reach adulthood so that’s probably why it’s not the same

[@somethingelse1339]

"I'd rather die than be raped but I want to be in a fight" is triggering me

[@gloriouspurpose_]

i mean, if i get bunked with a psycho rapist in prison. One of us is gonna die before he rapes me.

[@GomulDart]

me too. reinforces the whole "mens problems arent real problems" bullshit. I don't really believe that line of logic entirely but, I had some relentless bullies. Beat the shit out of me. One of the kids got prison time for it. These events ruined me in many ways. And yet here I am persisting, surviving, finding joy and love. Coping basically. But the thought that my trauma is automatically outmatched by any kind of rape of sexual assault.. is disturbing? or maybe invalidating? But then again I've never been raped, I dont know if its actually worse or not, but I've been told that it is and I should treat it as such. I dont like turning trauma into some kind of competition, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't stir up some confusing emotions.

[@baileyskates]

@@GomulDart the real answer is it depends on the person and on the situation. There are some people who are raped/bullied/beaten that are doing just fine 1 year later. There are other people that get felt up/mocked etc. And are scarred for years. I think if the rape wasnt associated with any risk of serious injury or death threats that, on average, it wouldnt be as holistically traumatic as being beaten silly and thinking youre going to die. It would still be, on average, traumatic and extremely violating though. Now obviously if youre beaten and raped thats the worst of both.

[@Lolerburger]

I want that for her too tbh lol. (totally joking, totally)

[@radicalleftovers1016]

21:51 on the topic of trauma from getting beat up, many guys probably do carry that trauma with them but can't show it or even acknowledge it. After spending some time locked up and experiencing the constant threat of violence and adapting to that situation, you live your life differently afterward. Probably forever. Common situations can feel unsafe, anywhere crowded, like a gym or a bar. You're always aware of your surroundings. You don't need to be probably but you can't help it. That's probably translated from the trauma of routine violence. But thing is with people in those situations they grew up with it. That's the water they swim in. I could imagine somebody that had a fairly safe, middle class, secure and loving existence experiences extreme violence out of nowhere would be mentally wrecked from that experience as opposed to adapting with it.

[@christophergallagher3721]

In the consideration of grape vs. getting beaten up, maybe it's like "sex is to a fight as grape is to torture". I imagine that Destiny would feel that torture would leave different scars compared to getting beaten up in a fight.

[@SeyidAr]

Brittany doesn't know what she's talking about. She's talking about getting into a fight. Getting jumped is completely different. Women don't get randomly jumped out of nowhere. Like what dreamworld does she live in that she thinks she'd feel like an anime character when she gets jumped? You'll feel like that for 2 seconds until you realize you're not getting out of the situation. There is a world class light heavyweight UFC fighter named Anthony Smith who had to deal with an intruder in his house. The man was unarmed but was drugged out of his mind so that the mma fighter couldn't finish the guy. In a podcast he said that he was never so scared in his life as he thought he and his family would die. This is a professionally trained mma fighter having ptsd from fighting a guy that's half a foot shorter and 60lbs lighter. Brittany is out of her mind.

[@Aliyaaaa]

Yea agreed. Being raped and jumped are both traumatizing. I wish nobody will come across any of those.

[@micah459]

Exactly. When you're getting jumped or attacked out of nowhere, you fear for your life because they could kill. Women do get jumped though especially by other women

[@AznDudeIsOn]

I don't agree with Brittany but just nitpicking you. Women do get randomly jumped. Zombies are scary. So scary that an area near me that used to be full of gangbangers, traffickers and the coldest and hardest people, is just a zombieland now and they've all moved out. There's just a randomness + not being able to be affected by normal means such as tazing. That makes a zombie home invasion not comparable to being jumped or fighting people who are in a sane state of mind.

[@SeyidAr]

@@AznDudeIsOn My point was that getting jumped implies that you'll lose the fight or atleast you think you do. Just like you'll usually only hear the stories of r*pe victims who couldn't protect themselves from the r*pe. You won't hear about the ones that almost got r*ped. I obviously agree that women get jumped but not nearly as much as men. Which is why i doubt she got jumped. She probably just got into a fight.

[@yupimawesome]

He was probably worried about getting shot. That’s different than a fight and a home invasion is nothing like fighting lol nice straw man dip shit

[@JimC607]

Man I've seen people get badly beat down who were never the same again

[@happiestman978]

Wasn't expect a Berserk reference to be slipped in there, wtf.

[@Kknderbueno]

Here’s part of what I think is different about sexual assault. Hopefully I can explain what I mean well enough to get my point across: It’s a violent version of a normal, loving situation. Like there’s not really a good, loving version of being jumped that is normal in good relationships. But there is for rape. So now this intimate, loving act is tainted and scary.

[@richquin828]

Hell yeah let's keep going with the content

[@iank1234]

Doing some research before the debates is cool and all but honestly I think Brianna’s communication style/strategy is just on point, or at least has been in all the recent conversations I’ve seen.

[@donotinteract7851]

Absolute nightmare blunt rotation

[@Thechosen223]

Another thing cause I'm just responding as I'm watching but she says how it's bad that she gets blamed or culturally women are more likely to be blamed like "what did you do" while also saying "well my brother cut someone off so he got jumped" I don't see how these 2 points are missing each other. Shes romanticizing her brothers incident getting jumped I'm wondering if he looks back on getting jumped by 3 ppl romantically and last thing she says shes prepared herself to get jumped like dude I'm pretty sure the same type of situation where you think you're prepared till it comes to face you and now you freeze then you're traumatized.

[@imperiumpilled30k]

All this talk hurts my soul and makes me die inside because its warping my brain into thinking this is how normal people act when really it's just terminally online no life schizos

[@vinayakmenon3609]

Once you see it enough, you realize you need to get out and touch grass.

[@imperiumpilled30k]

@@vinayakmenon3609 i can't atm I've got a sickness can't eat trynna keep the fluids high and not choke to death on my flem in my sleep bruh

[@ulysses7653]

@@imperiumpilled30k If you want, I can mail you some grass.

[@QMS9224]

I agree. I feel like I was just in a healthy place mentally around sex and relationships (broke up with my ex a year ago, now ready to get into something again/start having sex). Listening to conversations like these is interesting and important but it does warp my brain, I almost feel uncomfortable again just by having listened to this. I feel like none of the people who need this info are listening anyways, while the people who already are fine are listening and it might be warping their perception

[@imperiumpilled30k]

@@QMS9224 facts also how anyone can be a fan of Mr.girl whose whole thing is just talking, throwing emotionally charged shit hoping it makes sense and then when no one understands he goes with the person who gives him the most charitable interpretation of what is essentially intellectual smegma

[@brandonolsen579]

It sounds like Britanny is talking about a boxing match where she is in a fight that she wants and is pumped to show she can win. She literally makes comparisons to Mike Tyson and Guts going into battle. Destiny is talking about getting attacked, not fighting someone. Edit: Destiny touched on it, but yeah I think the disconnect here is the word "fighting". I think it makes more sense to describe it as getting attacked, not getting into a fight

[@ladrok97]

Plus her going on Berserk example here is so odd. Guts is warrior because it's only thing he knows. Losing band of hawk was thing which destroyed him, not first ra*e, because band of hawk healed this pain.

[@amazin7006]

​@@ladrok97 A good historical example here would be war induced PTSD. Historically It was a rare occurrence for a soldier to come back traumatized... until cannons and artillery were developed. This hints that maybe battle itself isn't what causes the trauma, but rather the extended stress and "fear" of not knowing when death will hit you. "Shell-shock" was the first term coined to describe PTSD in ww-1 because that's the period when it first started becoming a widespread issue. Seeing people die and having to murder other men with a knife at your throat isn't what hurts, it's that constant bombardment and the thought of dying to something you will never see.

[@chrisrock219]

​@@amazin7006 you should check out Sebastian Junger's essay, "Tribe", for an interesting perspective on this

[@chickenandksivideoreviewer9739]

Some people really don't know violence

[@Wtb_skill]

People have trauma from being beaten up. Dude, srsly... sounds like such an obvious thing to know.

[@beewest5704]

I hear you Ssme do but many don't especially long term trauma. For example my bro was jumped, beaten up & stabbed 3 times in tge back. He suffered little/no trauma. Where with r most ppl have longterm trauma. I worked at a emergency room for 6 year & we saw many cases where ppl were jumped. Only one I can remember came back to get a referral for a psych consult. All our r*pe victims came back for a psych referral. Maybe in some way our biology has adapted to protect us from being physically assaulted so we deal with it better.

[@Wtb_skill]

@@beewest5704 When I say "trauma" I don't mean something so srs that it inhabits your day to day life. But something that has an impact on you, which is at the back of your mind and hinders you in some way.

[@lissaw4]

Yeah, no lol. I'm from the hood with a super messed up family/community dynamic - I've been jumped more times than I'd like to remember or really even discuss. I'd rather be jumped 20x over again, than be raped again. Getting jumped and beat up does traumatize people - people do discuss this (even men.) Most of the men that I know who've been jumped do still have some trauma responses.

[@stainlessdoom3433]

100%, I've been jumped twice but that is nothing compared to rape. Destiny is so wrong on this one. Obviously getting beaten up is bad but rape is another level.

[@xbefri23]

what if you were permanently injured from the beating?

[@Stoh]

@@xbefri23almost anyone who is raped has permanent ptsd that goes along with it. I would argue that would not be the case for *most* jumping victims. Listen to the people who are saying “I’ve been through this, trust me, people who haven’t don’t know what it’s like” because for this one it might be more true than in any other case

[@nathanjora7627]

​@@stainlessdoom3433 His question seems to be "is it worse intrinsically or is it worse because of all the weird stuff around sex itself, regardless of rape". Also not sure I'd even agree, at best seems to me like you could say that all else being equal, rape is worse than being beaten up, but it obviously will vary from how bad the rape itself was, vs how bad the beating was, if you spend years being beaten up by your parents as a child, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure most people would agree it's worse than having passed out sex once.

[@ungabungacaveman9021]

I think most reasonable people will say it depends on the severity. I’ve woken up from a drunken stupor with a girl riding me I didn’t know and never consented to. I’d much rather expierience that again than being kicked, stomped, punched, slammed and robbed for over 20 minutes.

[@gablison]

When someone is r**** their reaction to external stimuli (their attacker) is both an internal (orgasm, lubrication) and external (being held down, having something shoved inside of you). Both of these entities are betraying you at the same time because your perpetrator can use that against you and make you think you actually "enjoyed" that act because your body's reaction is signalling this to you and the r***** so it is easy to doubt yourself for calling it an attack instead of a consensual act. The r*** is also a very intimate, close contact attack where they can keep whispering whatever they want and plant more doubt in their victim's mind especially post orgasm and especially when they are cuddling you after they've done the deed because oxytocin and hormones and stuff so it can get more insidious that way. For an insecure girl/woman it is easy for the victim to doubt their attack, hell there are even conservatives who perpetrate this message of women can control their lubrication secretions and/or orgasms and shit which casts more doubt in the publics mind if they don't know any better. When you get jumped that is a universally unpleasant experience for the victim, there is no doubt that you were attacked because all of your body's reaction and the other person's aggressive behaviour towards you is 100% inline with what is actually going on.

[@jnightmare0]

Jesus Christ I’m going for a smoke dude, every time I read this which is something my gf went through with her own brother pretty sure I die every time. Wish grapists could be slaughtered

[@gablison]

@@jnightmare0 Yikes, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope she's recovered from that and is doing better.

[@johnsonjunior547]

Body is telling you to enjoy it to spare your mind and keep you from starving yourself during stress (can't hunt or do work if you are depressed). Trauma is maladaptive.

[@MenchieExtrakt]

@@johnsonjunior547 But its more traumatic for the victim if they displayed physical signs of arousal. So it’s actually the opposite.

[@johnsonjunior547]

@JimmytheFUR that's just bc of the way our culture views sex. Otherwise women wouldn't evolve to do that.

[@KissSlowlyLoveDeeply-pm2je]

"I'm the Peter Pan of rape, I collect all the lost children" I got to give it to Max, he is good with words even when he's being totally unhinged.

[@Rhenkei]

There is definitely trauma in having your fingers and toes cut off. That's why torture is so scary because it's beyond just having your freedom taken, it's beyond having your boundaries broken, there's a sense of despair being defenseless and having physical harm being done. We are simply just more normalized to fights and torture from watching so much of it in movies, but we haven't normalized rape or sexual abuse so this is just a shit case of society normalizing shit and not demonizing both when both are bad.

[@QMS9224]

I would push back a bit in that shows like law and order svu etc normalize sexual assault. Most of these shows are consumed by/marketed at women so if anything there is a massive market for this type of content among women, which normalizes it to them just as a guy who plays CoD all day normalizes violence

[@Rhenkei]

@@QMS9224 That definitely didn’t normalize it, at least not for this generation we exist in now. If anything it likely made women more afraid. I do remember watching it as a kid and nowadays the only famous thing about it is the intro song or the fact some actor played in it. It didn’t really help us get desensitized to sexual assault at all. And I guess even suggesting that helped in normalizing it to some degree, there’s just no comparing the normalization of violence and gore throughout entertainment history, it’s no wonder our generations become more and more used to violence and death but get irritated and offended by sexual abuse in entertainment.

[@earhearthush-up5549]

@@QMS9224 Here’s the key difference: we’ve had a whole rich history of various art/entertainment media straight up glorifying characters who were essentially committing murder and torture as heroes. Does Law and Order SVU glorify the cops or the sexual predators?? The cops. That’s a very big difference.

[@QMS9224]

@@earhearthush-up5549 good point, although that’s why I said normalize and not glorify there’s a difference

[@tubblestop414]

Torture has nothing to do with boundaries... Like bro get outta with that.

[@grason3475]

Uploaded less than a minute ago but I already know what the main arguments are going to be lol

[@Weltinventar]

It's interesting how Destiny and Aella seem to have this philosophically stoic view of the world, and how it might have given them some sort of insulation against the feeling of fundamental violation. I'd be interested if this applies to other topics where the narrative and social response have changed over time; was the self-perception of slaves different in times when there was some social "normality" to it? I feel like a lot of the Trauma relates to the feeling of violation of Autonomy, and the concept we have of the rights of the individual. In Aella's view, this would probably correspond to the "shearing of reality". Destiny and Aella seem to have very descriptive views of the world, an awareness for the possibility of the violation of social contracts and conventions. I don't think this is very typical (maybe relating to autism?) and I imagine that it could relate to the mentioned insulation. Descriptively, it would also mean that while SA might not be "intrinsically" traumatizing, it very well could be in a majority of cases and in most perceptions of the world. Another aspect I think might be interesting to consider are the social situations which are perceived to be adjacent to the Trauma. While getting jumped might just cause an increased anxiety alone on a street, there's a wider range of social situations that might remind people of SA.

[@Frost8488]

I've seen this movie years ago so correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't the whole plot of Monster (which was based on a true story) about how this person who gave blowjobs for money, got raped once and went total berserk and became a serial killer? So I THINK getting raped has the same response in people no matter what the body count? Also, I was never raped before so I'm NOT talking based on experience but I THINK the trauma is because... It mixes romance and a good thing with an extremely ugly and dirty thing to the point that you might not be able to draw a clear line between the two... getting raped is ruining something that is supposed to be a part of your life and the intimacy between you and a partner: sex. Whereas fights are not a normal thing that is supposed to happen in your life so it's not ruining for example: a very intimate fight session with your partner!! Get what I'm saying? What I mean is... rape ruins things in your life that are supposed to be sacred and pleasant for you?? Ruins your relationship with your partner because their touch reminds you of that.... I don't know.

[@TonyCox1351]

I think the actual serial killer Aillen Wournos had an extremely traumatic childhood where she was r*ped by family members who sold her body etc I don’t know we can draw too many conclusions on how most people would react from her behavior

[@ItsMe-cp8xc]

The autism in some convos physically hurt me and this was one of those. Traditional rape is traumatizing because it takes away your autonomy, it’s them taking away your humanity, your personhood. With most things, your mind is impenetrable, but when it comes to rape or torture the abuser goes into your mind, beats you to your core. It goes back to the discussion of “if I hit your arm, am I hitting you?” If someone was raped they were physically and mentally fucked because of how much our sexual parts are ingrained in our personhood. (She actually talked on this point when she said it felt like they went into her nervous system)

[@x0x0skiller2]

Yes but a large part of the “autism” is how much is that culturally ingrained, is that a good thing that we hold sex to Such standards, and would a society where sex isn’t viewed as such Vs better off/less traumatic. I think these are valid questions.

[@ItsMe-cp8xc]

@@x0x0skiller2 I understand the question being asked and why, but I don’t think that changes anything. There’s a ton of content that’s come after this where he talks about why is one thing worse than the other and how much do external factors play into how traumatized a victim will be? This isn’t one of those conversations, though. It’s like comparing being insulted to a high degree and punched in the face. Both hurt, but in one there’s physical violence and pain that goes along with possible mental anguish and in the other, you just get your feelings hurt. I’m not saying that it can’t be emotionally torturous to be in a perpetual state of friend zone and being strung along by someone who either is obvious, willfully ignorant or just doesn’t care about how much it might hurt you. However, I still think that is just hurt feelings and rape is worse by multitudes. I’m also not doing the Brittany thing and saying we just shouldn’t compare traumas. I’m saying that it only really makes sense if the traumas are close enough to where it would be in question to begin with and in this case, it’s just not. It’s like comparing being flicked and murdered. We’d never be like, “I wonder why these aren’t viewed the same way…” ya know? The interesting convo that *could* come out of this one of questioning would be talking about why we don’t see a problem with women emotionally torturing men either absentmindedly or intentionally, but we suddenly have a problem with men leading women on in the “opposite” way. In other words, why is fuck zoning someone seen as significantly different from friend zoning someone when both are emotional manipulation?

[@Savannah-]

There are some physical assaults that have severe impact on the victim and some that aren't that serious to them. There's also sexual assaults that are less or more extreme to the victim. I know someone who was pretty brutally jumped and still has trauma. To me I think what it comes down to is the feeling of violation. Being punched by a couple people is violating and so is sleeping with someone when you feel a little pressured and end up doing it. But it's a lot more violating to have people hold you down and beat you or when someone gets you too drunk that you can't fight them off when they rape you. And for physical assault I agree that sometimes you can brush it off as a bad experience because it doesn't feel violating, just scary or whatever descriptor. I think sexual assault by nature ends up feeling more violating since it's such an intimate thing.

[@zompocalpha1]

Honestly feels like anyone having a different opinion than this is just disconnected, lol.

[@freedombawden7458]

I’ve both been raped, and lost a baby girl at 3months old to SIDS, and I can’t 1,000% rrather be raped a thousand times over losing her even once all over again. I think it’s one of those things where you wouldn’t know until you go throught it’s. This is going to sound horrible to a lot of people, but if there was a world where I had to choose between her having to go through what I did vs dying before she ever even got to live her life, I’d a million times choose the first, because even living with the trauma (as most adult human beings do nowadays.) is still living.

[@lampad4549]

Jesus TMI

[@freedombawden7458]

@@lampad4549 To be fair though, it’s a little to post so much personal info., but it’s also pretty we’ll know where my local community is, and it seems rather odd on the other hand to be coming to streams and videos like Destiny’s or Brittany’s or any of the surrounding guests that jump in and out of this world I’ve come across and been watching/listening to lately, and not think that anyone interested or invested enough into these peoples conversations where they share countless private very personal stories and journeys throughout their lives with millions everyday like it’s eating a ham sandwich. Lol

[@kobitz9001]

OMG STEVEN REALIZING WHAT SHAME IS WAS SO GOLDEN! It's especially funny how he brings up examples that exactly outline shame. My god. I guess it makes sense. Dude isn't shameless, he just doesn't understand shame as a concept. Fun learn.

[@Aliyaaaa]

Yes that was pretty frustrating and funny at the same time. I think with that there is so much more he can understand about humans

[@robpom5501]

Why is he still playing Factorio....

[@ChichiNaka]

all of brittneys experiences come from her immediate family, her brothers and her parents, how small is her world?

[@kingjj2282]

I can't speak from the sexual assault perspective but everytime I got into a fight with someone I was terrified, because I've seen when shit goes to far. And it's easy for things to go to far in a fight, not even too far but just a slip or tye slightest mistake can end you or change your life. Even in a gym, a fight can change your life forever. Win or lose I could get fucked up or I could fuck them up. I could be a pussy but that always scared me

[@greenfroggood2392]

There was a case of a guy who got into a bar fight and accidentally killed the other guy with one punch. Both of them got their lives ruined over some dumb fight. But for this woman a fight is not a life and death situation, it's like an anime or something. They just dont get it.

[@nutty_sweatsack9238]

BASED as FUCK Brittany using berserk to highlight the unique horror of sexual assault. 1000% great point.

[@haxuhaxu6343]

I cringed can’t lie

[@vikkipink1288]

I had the time and energy to figure out to do streaming and shit because I have so many thoughts on these kind of topics that I love to talk to people about. Most of the people around me in rural Mississippi are super conservative, religious, and uneducated so I don’t get to have very many interesting discussions about complicated issues. I just spend most of those conversations either educating people who are open to it or have to sit there and listen to them dig their heels into their idiotic responses.

[@cringeandpunishment3140]

the beginning of the end

[@pwn3ronetwothree]

It is insane to me, that these people who want to be on the cutting edge of consent discussion are always perfectly fine with the definition of "The R word" never including the phrasing "Being made to penetrate" because they're all always under this delusion that women can't SA men

[@SusieEffin]

are they? that doesn't sound right, at least for his orbiters. I wonder if a bisexual man who was r*ped by a man and a woman separately would compare the experiences- if there was a difference by any metric, was it by a magnitude that could account for the discrepancy? If so, would being able to articulate that difference be where the answers lie- to helping Destiny understand, and to satisfy the definition as written?

[@robertradford4707]

I think a distinction lost is a fight, even one you didn't necessarily want to be in but nevertheless cognitively engaged in, versus being ganged up on and assaulted suddenly. Anecdote time so bear with me. My father's cousin, whatever that makes him to me, pretty frequently rode his bike from his town to my dads to visit. Part of the route was riding his bike through a very poor, almost exclusively black neighborhood some time around 10 years after the major race riots in Detroit. One of those days he was biking over, and mind you he was maybe 12 himself, a car full of black guys with clubs pulled up beside him, jumped out, and beat him nearly to death. A police car happened to drive by and take him to the hospital and he lived, and according to family he actually was pretty much normal albeit a bit more timid after that. 20 or so years later he was engaged, had a decent job, nice car so on and so on, and one day something just snapped and he started to be incredibly paranoid especially with black people. He started having mini episodes with a black coworker of his, being convinced people were "stealing his truck and taking it for joy rides then bringing it back" over night. He eventually lost everything and chooses to live on the street in who knows where locations. Family members tried everything under the sun to take care of him and get him right and healthy again but he didn't want any of it and none of it worked out in the end. Point of it is to say, that is something very traumatizing that drastically altered his life. But the factors that made it so in my opinion is how sudden, how one sided, and how severe it was. Similarly a rape where you're suddenly violently assaulted or abducted would be very traumatizing almost certainly, and being drugged would have similar but different mental traumas associated. However to Destiny's point, I don't think a rape where in the midst of consensual sex someone crosses a boundary you had set, like say a finger up the ass you didn't want done, should really be on the same level as either of the former rape cases or the assault.

[@gregmata3132]

"I'm the Peter Pan of rape" Mrgirl- 2023

[@xMXWLx]

how does destiny not understand brittany's point??

[@amazin7006]

Seems like he understood it, just that it wasn't answering his question. Brittany was kind of answering a question that wasn't asked. What he's talking about is an interesting topic, Ethan Watters writes a ton about it (his book Crazy Like Us is a great starting point.) Basically it's the question of is trauma an unavoidable consequence of a bad experience itself, or is it something that develops socially after the experience? And if its the latter then what are we doing to cause this? Trauma symptoms are one of the many mental illnesses that do not express themselves consistently across cultures. A good example of this was after the 2004 tsunami that hit Indonesia. Hundreds of western psychiatrists were sent as aid to give therapy to the orphaned children and grief-stricken widows. What they found was that 1. PTSD symptoms in these countries were completely different than PTSD symptoms in the west. (they expressed themselves as body pains, physical illnesses etc. rather than emotional or anxiety), and strangely enough, the rural children who were told their parents moved away fared better than the children who received weekly therapy and western treatment.

[@xMXWLx]

@amazin yes sometimes trauma is avoidable. yes sometimes the trauma gets more understood and diagnosed if society is aware and teaches about trauma. i dont know about the trauma affecting other types of humans differently, since our physiology reacts specifically to certain stimuli. those people in indonesia have ptsd with depression and anxiety. pride, ego and ignorance play a part in people not being aware of themselves. different cultures or not, anxiety, ptsd and depression plays a role. it just shows up differently in other cultures. i sincerely doubt that none of those people had emotional trauma. a lot of this is only being talked about in america mostly while other countries are ignorant to a lot of mental illnesses which lead to most of the homelessness being undiagnosed.

[@amazin7006]

@@xMXWLx You can doubt it if you want, just know your doubt is contrary to the research. Also the point isnt really about physiology, it's culture. Trauma appears to be more of a "language" that changes across cultures. The language of suffering is different in indonesia, therefore people express and experience trauma differently, and they get trauma from different things. They even have unique mental illnesses thst don't even exist in our DSM-V yet, for example "alok" is a common one which is a delusion where men think their dick is shrinking. Destiny's question was about if teaching about trauma could actually increase trauma, which seems to be the case. Teaching suffering increases occurrences if suffering, even depression is at least partially contagious

[@lavabeard5939]

"it's different, and because of that difference, it's different" thanks brittany

[@JewTube001]

All of my assaults traumatizing. I don't know what universe that women comes from. She's probably never been assaulted before and only fought another woman in a head on 1v1, which is a bit different from most violence that happens in the world. Yes UFC is cool, but someone stabbing you with a broken bear bottle while taking a piss behind the pub is not cool. That woman really couldn't see the difference.

[@yupimawesome]

You sound soft 🤣 take a boxing class and get that confidence up

[@JohnSmith-eo2yx]

The way Brittney talked about her brother getting jumped was kind of frustrating. That sounds completely traumatizing. Imagine 3 people are chasing and beating you up and you don't know if you're about to get beaten to death. Pretty bad imho

[@GenghisKahn]

I'm going to sound like an asshole here, but I honestly question the willingness to say you'd go through excruciating pain in exchange for something mentally traumatic. Not because I don't believe in the levels of trauma, but because I feel the trauma of real physical pain is being underestimated. As a victim of something abhorrnt myself I can confidently say that my initial reaction of disgust leads me to make some bold claims, but the truth is that I'd prefer to go through the mental trauma again any day over chopping all my fingers and toes off.

[@vivivivivivi8530]

that piano eavesdropping thing is super common among artists. that "touch my sketchbook or die" type thing. i used to post art online for like 10k people but have been drawing and told friends "if you leave my line of sight im kicking you out of my house and never inviting you back" and been fully serious. i think for me having an irl audience kind of comes with an insinuation that youre performing and that comes with an insinuation that youre doing it for attention

[@NecroknightZ]

Wait this got to be the worst take I have ever heard from destiny. This is the first time I can't even get through the video, how tf can you think getting r-ed can be less bad than getting jumped. I've been jumped in high school, I got the shit beaten out of me, luckily they were just beating me up and not attempting to kill me. I still feel remnants of trauma from that. But getting r-ed? I would rather get beat up weekly than r-ed, the feeling of disgust, the tearing of body-holes, the shame. I feel like men and women will react differently to the traumatising experience in more specific ways. But if we were in a more "gay accepting" world, where men would have rectal-intercourse semi-regularly, nothing would change about the r-pe. It sounds like destiny is having a giga-autism moment or thinking about non-penetrative r-pe for men.

[@yupimawesome]

Same bro. These are sheltered ass suburb dudes 😂 talkin about gettin traumatized from being jumped 🤣

[@ShinyFood]

agreed i can't understand how these are comparable

[@k.bastion5386]

Destiny trippin with that people don't have trauma from being beaten up take.

[@yupimawesome]

He not trippin 🤣 you must be a sheltered suburb clown

[@jme-james]

I can speak from personal experience about getting into a fight and it messing with my psyche. I thought I was friends with a guy in high school we used to play fight a lot. But then one day out of nowhere he got really triggered and just went crazy on me with literally no warning of any physical ques that he wanted to stop. And he just started attacking me in front of all of our class mates. It was pretty embarrassing and it used to play in my mind what did I do wrong or me wanting to get back at him. Then the public humiliation didn't help at all. I'm over it now but I never thought about how it messed with my mental much or in the context of "do you want to be raped vs getting jumped". I'm not saying I'm the same as a raped victim but I can understand what Destiny was saying.

[@Hawquin]

The berserk guts apology doesn't really work Guts wasn't mad he got raped he was mad his adopted dad sold him to rape and mad he killed his dad because of it. Literally just rewatched it and started rereading. Easy to mistake what guts is upset about though

[@jinsakai6157]

He did not kill Gambino because of that. Gambino attacked him and he just reacted

[@Hawquin]

@@micah459 duh? We were talking about a specific moment. Just gonna say raped people are traumatized from multiple things that happened to them? Lol idk I don't understand the point of your comment.

[@thisfireboon]

I think it's safe to say it was both. He killed Gambino when he was forced to but killed his rapist voluntarily. Plus after that he had issues with people touching him, like the soldier that offered him a job before he joined the Hawks, so he took some trauma with him

[@Hawquin]

@@thisfireboon true true but still think the betrayal was what effected him more and was supposed to be mirrored when Griffith betrayed him and sold all his followers to the demons

[@thisfireboon]

@@Hawquin Oh yeah, I hadn't thought about that. Well, bickering over which bit mattered more is probably pointless so I'ma drop the hot take that rape sucks, yo

[@illk9647]

Losing a fight and getting your ass kicked is not the same thing. False premise, and a HUGE difference. Most people don't fight back. Getting your ass kicked is extremely traumatizing.

[@fromthegetgo4981]

yes it traumatizing, but which would you choose: being r@ped or getting your ass kicked?

[@-Alexander-K]

24:42 "I'd rather have all my fingers and toes cut off, than (be) raped again" I can guarantee you that that statement is gonna change real quick when someone with a saw is standing in front of you and you would actually have to make that choice.

[@Aliyaaaa]

Yea for real that statement is just crazy stupid.

[@yupimawesome]

Bruh ain’t nobody choosing rape man you a clown

[@vanceapp1567]

Hi destiny u are my favorite warcraft player

[@chrisdunkin7203]

I was first exposed to Mrgirl via Destiny and JFC when I hear the word "cringe" Max defines it for me. I am baffled as to why he has any subscribers. dude is very seriously damaged.

[@johngamer-bp3pc]

did you upload part 2 before part 1?

[@conot4006]

What is Brittany talking about? When she is getting jumped by 3 people she is anime pumped? My guess is she has never been jumped before because that statement is so stupid.

[@emptyeye1]

Maybe I’m being too hypercritical but there is no amount of training the average person can do to prevent themselves from getting beaten to a pulp by a group of three+ people

[@krawieck]

I think the core of the issue lays in the fact that human body has some kind of obsolete monkey brain reflex to lat rape happen, so that causes the person later to feel guilt cuz they feel like they could’ve done something but didn’t

[@11DaltonB]

Saying "its badass to get in a fight and try your best, and it doesn't feel as bad" is assuming that every time someone is physically assaulted they are equally at fault for the fight starting. People are sometimes assaulted and robbed, beat so bad they're unconscious and just left there. That shit sounds traumatic not "I instigated a fight and lost". I think Brittany is just using bad examples and that's the issue. You can try to deescalate as much as you can, but not every victim of a physical assault is partially at fault just like sexual assault. I’m not sure if it’s just one type of violence effects the genders differently or what. But the weird minimization of physical violence and even war’s effects on men is really strange.

[@mergenocide]

It's triggering how every example of getting jumped, including her own brothers, she always puts at least part of the blame on the man, yet to even attempt victim blaming a women for getting SAd would guarantee set her off

[@rclud27]

Sex is connection, sex creates life, sex is in & of itself the ultimate vulnerability. It is literally & figuratively the ultimate way to be exposed. Obviously the corruption of it creates the most severe trauma.

[@Jake-zn1qr]

Wow Brittany just has a million bad takes. Like when she's talking about fighting - there's a huge difference between getting in a scrap with some people and taking a legitimate beatdown or getting jumped or mugged. If you fight on relatively equal terms it might even be fun. But when it's hugely unequal and you don't have a chance, you just have to take the beating and pray they decide not to take too much from you or hurt you too badly - that's not empowering, it's traumatic lol. You can tell she's never been on the receiving end of something like that 'cause she talks about getting "pumped up like Naruto". Maybe in an anime you can fight until the end, but irl you just end up on the ground and humiliated. Also "I'd rather my child die of cancer than be raped"? Now I haven't been raped before but it can't possibly be as bad as dying of cancer. Who the heck thinks having some emotional trauma is worse than *literally dying*? I can easily say I'd rather be beaten again than die. Sure it's painful and humiliating but afterwards I can go buy an ice cream instead of being buried in the cold dark earth...

[@lirruping]

Who is the "mystery" woman who calls in the last few minutes of the stream?

[@Kosithegod]

I think we the way we dramatise R*** & SA has a negative impact on how people process traumatic events. We should probably ease off the “being r*ped is worse than being murdered” narrative cos it’s almost certainly negatively affecting people’s ability to heal and move forward. If a bad thing has happened to you, you can try pick yourself up and recover because as long as you’re alive you have to agency to do something about your situation. Overcoming such a thing, even just mostly overcoming it, might even become a source of pride eventually. On the other hand, if you’ve internalised the sentiment that the thing thats happened to you is worse than death, then why bother? You might as well lay down and wait to die. It’s all over. Idk just kinda reminds me of the way incels think. Not equating, just comparing.

[@reinhartdagr8108]

Underrated comment.

[@plexxarbiitch]

It’s insane how she keeps comparing getting actually jumped to catching a knuckle sandwich

[@conot4006]

Destiny wasn't talking about a mutually agreed upon 1 on 1 fight. I hate when his orbiters do this. Destiny will mention some fringe idea he randomly had that 99% percent of people would disagree with, like getting jumped at a party and badly beaten up might be worse than grape, and yet an orbiter feels the need to quickly jump on to take the easy/obvious W while simultaneously misrepresenting the argument. Orbiter - "No Destiny getting brutally grapes isn't better than winning the UFC world heavy weight title. How dare you!"

[@cngotham4111]

For the sa comparing to getting jumped. The problem is it depends on the scenerio. But I'd say most times forced sa is worse then getting beat up but there's definitely scenarios where getting beat up may be worse.

[@wrnm0051]

I think the big differences between SA and other forms of assault is exactly like Brittany said, there is a tendency to freeze. You don't want it but you don't know what to do. Will they become violent? It's also such a common occurrence. You have to watch out for it and be so vigilant about all the nuances in interactions with men. And lastly, SA isn't someome blatently hurting you in a lot of cases. Sex isn't an inherently bad or violent thing. Someone punching, hitting or stabbing is pretty unequivocally bad. So I think for a lot of women it almost doesn't feel as valid because there isn't a clear, objective line. Overall, I think that there's a lot more blame you put on yourself because of all these things and you're not even sure if you can stop it from happening in the future. Not because you're not strong enough or big enough, but because you actually just don't know how to handle the situation. I feel like most assaults are more cut and dry. They can leave you just as emotionally and psychologically damaged, but it's a whole different experience.

[@justanotherweirdo11]

I don't believe all the trauma surrounding rape is socially constructed. Some of it maybe but not all. Like my health and autonomy is important to me. I get to choose what contraception I use, what sex acts I don't preform, who I fuck and who I don't, etc. If it was consensual and I'm like this hurts there would be a change. If it was consensual my partner would be receptive to an "I don't want this" and I can stop if I wanted. Rape is like someone deciding that for me. With no regard for me, they'll cum inside me (now I got to worry about pregnancy and stds), they'll take pictures of me, they'll ignore my pain and my wants, they drug me (I don't even use drugs), they'll threaten to kill me, they'll injure me, etc. I'm a sex positive person and that would most likely be traumatic for me. Whether I'm conscious or unconscious. Two different kinds of fucked up. Assault sucks too. People can fuck you up and make you physically disabled. It has the same life or death energy usually more so than rape. I think there just two different shitty things. I don't even think rape is inherently worse assault. A pro is you're more likely to win a court case than for rape. Like maybe you'll be able to pay for your treatment maybe. But then again maybe you lose and you're broke and you just deal with it. Debilitating assault could be traumatic for me too. Just getting a few punches and no serious health complications though wouldn't be. That has never been traumatic for me. Whereas being stealthed is so fucked up I don't sexual health to be solely dependent on anyone else besides me.

[@vikkipink1288]

If I think about what it must be like to be in a relationship with Max for too long I just want to cry. Please someone save his girlfriend. Poor girl is gonna need years of therapy after that.

[@thunderjolt69]

1:13:50 core memory

[@Jake38nine]

I think r@ape comes down to control. Your body is YOURS, YOUR property. It's the ONLY thing you are entitled to and OWN. So when you're r@aped, it's much more visceral. Even a promiscuous woman would feel horrible because she has sex because that's what she WANTS to do and she has control over it. Same with a religious virgin, she refuses sex, so it's horrible when someone takes away her control. It's control and empowerment.

[@anglosaxon3951]

i have been jumped 2 times in my life first time was 5 guy beat the shit out of me for no reason and that messed my head up so much

[@3br1ce7]

“I don’t know what we’re talking about” was just his strategy to go into THE META- WHERE ALL CONVOS GO TO DIE!

[@shedshitley]

re: the internal/external thing at the end - i don't know what this means or how to articulate it but there does seem to be some kind of meaningful psychic boundary we unconsciously recognize between internal/external, no? like think about how much saliva is in your mouth every day - totally fine, very few people even acknowledge it let alone find it troubling. now force that saliva across the boundary - think about spitting a bunch of it into a glass and then drinking it. a hell of a lot more people are now way more bothered by the exact same substance, but the only thing that's changed is the substance has crossed the boundary from internal/external. i don't know if this applies to this conversation at all but i think there's something interesting happening there.

[@vikkipink1288]

Why in the world would you want people to find joy in other people’s suffering??? That is just a recipe for an increase in serial killers. Most people have what are sometimes called “mirror cells” in their brains which causes you to on a subconscious level mirror the emotions of the person you’re looking at. So most people who they see someone in pain or upset they will feel that emotion too to a certain degree, in other words it’s the biological explanation for empathy which is super important. Studies have shown that serial killers tend to have a lower amount of mirror cells which explains why they are able to hurt people without remorse and find enjoyment in it. Also just in case people are wondering, people with autism sometimes appear to lack empathy because of their difficulty picking up on more subtle displays of emotions and because sometimes they do not always know the best ways to comfort others. I don’t think this necessarily contradicts sadism involved in safe and consensual bdsm because they know their partner is enjoying the pain.

[@imDread]

That water insect fact was actually wild tho. 😳

[@Sciyguy]

Every time Max is with a moderator on a panel it's always "DADDY/MOMMY moderator, please make him stop!! My opponent doing a thing I don't like. Waagghh, make them stooop!"

[@DivusMagus]

A narcissist can't deal with lacking control of someone or of a situation.

[@roryjackson765]

I...Just really...Don't like the way...MrGirl...Speaks...I don't...Know why...

[@4elove4ishee]

You have to admit: "I'm the Peter Pan of rape' is a dope line.

[@trizzybones]

Destiny saying he's scared of getting jumped but not scared of getting raped is super weird. He's a guy, guys very rarely get raped. And the idea of being penetrated without your consent and possibly getting an STD for life from someone is sooo much worse that getting your ass kicked. There's also a different power dynamic because it's more intimate, the sexual domain is different than anything else.