The Most Chaotic Relationship/Hookup Stories

  Рет қаралды 43,913

_crustbag_

_crustbag_

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 149
@meowtherainbowx4163
@meowtherainbowx4163 2 жыл бұрын
“Gallons of Diarrhea” is a perfect death metal or goregrind song title
@Luke-kx5mf
@Luke-kx5mf 2 жыл бұрын
I'm sure there's a gutalax
@iusedtomakeoutwithmedusa
@iusedtomakeoutwithmedusa Жыл бұрын
So is “fucking a mouth full of bile”
@Tokamak289
@Tokamak289 Жыл бұрын
Scatgrind
@HeavyBen
@HeavyBen Жыл бұрын
What about his phrase “going to town on stomach bile”. Can’t tell me that wouldn’t be a hit. 😂
@Doorframe-c2i
@Doorframe-c2i 8 ай бұрын
Mincecore
@ashleytaylor1109
@ashleytaylor1109 2 жыл бұрын
"22 is a long period of time to be alive." *laughs in 32*
@mallorymaisner
@mallorymaisner 2 жыл бұрын
Turning 30 this year and feeling like I’ve been alive too long for surrre
@juliusseizure324
@juliusseizure324 2 жыл бұрын
Hysterically laughing in almost 42.
@juliusseizure324
@juliusseizure324 2 жыл бұрын
@@mallorymaisner GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING. Do one or the other, and do it the best you can.
@thawedantarctican2171
@thawedantarctican2171 2 жыл бұрын
Laughs in 29, nearly 30
@ChristianF15cher
@ChristianF15cher Жыл бұрын
Laughs in 41 (and now my back hurts from chuckling).
@blurredvisionsofblackpeppe2631
@blurredvisionsofblackpeppe2631 2 жыл бұрын
You have to do more "story times" this shit was way too hilarious
@ave_satanas6668
@ave_satanas6668 2 жыл бұрын
Tyler 1 - Dignity 0.
@skinc4rver
@skinc4rver 2 жыл бұрын
the vomit story metal asf lowkey sounds like a cannibal corpse song title
@Doorframe-c2i
@Doorframe-c2i 8 ай бұрын
Some extirpating the infected shit. *cough cough* menstrual gourmet *cough cough*
@Doorframe-c2i
@Doorframe-c2i 5 ай бұрын
Gutalax
@thatonedude76-56i
@thatonedude76-56i Ай бұрын
Vomit blow job
@noOnionswithoutTears
@noOnionswithoutTears Жыл бұрын
Dude, the level of punk rock achieved in these stories needs to be a short film. Not even kidding. I never had kids, but I would totally adopt you. I don't know why this makes me verklempt, but holy shit....I feel pride.
@jessieramona2184
@jessieramona2184 2 жыл бұрын
Second one reminds me of when like 10 minutes into a first date the dude picked a half smoked cigarette off the ground and tried to smoke it
@araccooninagarage9014
@araccooninagarage9014 2 жыл бұрын
waste not want not, my dude
@horsegirlheresy6195
@horsegirlheresy6195 2 жыл бұрын
Probably a weird comment to make on this vid but I seriously love the variety of your channel. Thank you for the fire content
@HEVNNNN
@HEVNNNN Жыл бұрын
Batman couldn’t get this information out of me brah
@Diana-ej7zf
@Diana-ej7zf 10 ай бұрын
The vomit one?? I would have simply died without admitting that.
@stupidbluegoblin77
@stupidbluegoblin77 2 жыл бұрын
A friendly PSA for fellow energy drink/coffee enjoyers regarding the first story: If you like to chug energy drinks like it's going out of style, keep Pepto on hand. Seriously, it is a godsend after 2k mg (or more) caffeine.
@goodbyenostalgia7192
@goodbyenostalgia7192 2 жыл бұрын
This video is like a rollar coater but it's all the good parts
@spacequesoart
@spacequesoart 2 жыл бұрын
I always love your videos but this one was an *immaculate* set of tales. Thank you for this gift 😂
@gieter3768
@gieter3768 2 жыл бұрын
The irony goes further considering your last story. Now YOU are the media that not let me escape the thoughts of a similar situation. Thank crust i love irony 😅
@harpsekai
@harpsekai 2 жыл бұрын
How the fuck does a 22 year old manage this many stories???
@user-pz4xe3sb6t
@user-pz4xe3sb6t 2 жыл бұрын
You are just so charismatic and funny dude, but even more importantly you also seem like a really good dude. I'm glad you're blowin' up, you absolutely deserve it.
@saturnsartz
@saturnsartz Жыл бұрын
Why did i decide to eat during this😭😭
@manifestationsofasort
@manifestationsofasort 2 жыл бұрын
If you have any more I'd love to hear them, because these were great!
@cyclopeluigi4922
@cyclopeluigi4922 2 жыл бұрын
I like your username, nice pfp as well.
@jaegs1935
@jaegs1935 2 жыл бұрын
Oh duuude me and my friend that used to go out, we got raided by a swat team at 5:45 in the morning and we thought we were gonna get caught for smoking but no, the ex tenant of the flat he was in was a fraudster wanted for like 50k and he was known to be "rather hostile" it was proper embarrassing, they were gonna bash the door down and everything and had a tazer pointed at my guys chest, we gave them all the info we had, they left lol We now share an apartment as best friend and we've got the search warrant framed :)
@davidmeron4562
@davidmeron4562 2 жыл бұрын
This video gives me so much confidence, I’m a little insecure about my body and worried about the current situation I’m in and also worried if I’m jumping into something out of desperation. …I’m fine! This man’s literally shat a hurricane next to a girl and it didn’t ruin it! :D
@bradenmatcham9772
@bradenmatcham9772 Жыл бұрын
The knocked loose ep in the background 🤌🤌🤌🤌
@Stoneyflowerz
@Stoneyflowerz 2 жыл бұрын
Your content is so underrated it’s infuriating 😂
@VILE_VOLGOR
@VILE_VOLGOR 7 ай бұрын
when watching "the freezing fight" I found (and find) this stuff very interesting and In some way it makes me happy. I don't know what to say. THE FACT THAT GIRL CALLED YOU "PAPI" thats crazy.
@c4t4c0m5
@c4t4c0m5 11 ай бұрын
i like to imagine these were all about the same person
@te9591
@te9591 2 жыл бұрын
Not sure i needed to know all of this.
@austindavis9235
@austindavis9235 Жыл бұрын
you're such a real one for this my man
@jobrotelis6664
@jobrotelis6664 Жыл бұрын
Talking about universal taunting, I have just recently talked to a friend about how everyone I know gets to (you know what) and I don’t, never even kissed a girl, and this video appears from the heavens to taunt my lack o ‘experiences’
@goodnight63
@goodnight63 2 жыл бұрын
That worst first date story reminds me of mine. After he picks me up he makes a stop in the middle of nowhere to go smoke weed under a bridge. I waited in the car cuz I don’t smoke lol. The way home he went on a rant about how weed makes great birth control and how he only drinks distilled water cuz the government puts toxins in it. There wasn’t a second date lol.
@uniquelyeunique4241
@uniquelyeunique4241 2 жыл бұрын
My jaw dropped with Chapter 4
@krpchnkva330
@krpchnkva330 2 жыл бұрын
I would stop and listen to the divorce too
@YGOMaster97
@YGOMaster97 2 жыл бұрын
8:34 okay but why do you look like Adam Driver right here 😭😭
@MongerOfStrings8222
@MongerOfStrings8222 2 ай бұрын
Who needs reddit when this guy is the whole damn top posts all time page
@astrid_rc
@astrid_rc 2 жыл бұрын
dude ure funny as fuck i have no clue why uve gone under my radar for so long. been on bit of a binge of ur channel now for a bit and i hope u keep going :'D take it ez
@dplata4894
@dplata4894 Жыл бұрын
Man, I feel you deeply. I'm mexican, but I have light brown hair and lighter skin than your average mexican, so I don't qualify to be a Papi either. Also, my ex' family were actual fascist, but not like american AB bald guys but like 1940s tie-and-shirt march-over-the-city fascists, and they liked me a lot because I have a german name. I experienced the exact same situation.
@dansmoothback9644
@dansmoothback9644 2 жыл бұрын
lol you really are a crustbag XD Don't ever change
@jobrotelis6664
@jobrotelis6664 Жыл бұрын
Ion know Wether to be envious about you having so many stories to tell and I don’t, or if I should just be happy that I’ve never even gotten close with a woman in the way you did
@insertcreativenamehere9704
@insertcreativenamehere9704 2 жыл бұрын
the first story 😭
@The_JustJoshing
@The_JustJoshing Жыл бұрын
4:15 “the ol wham bam thank you ma’am” 😂😂😂
@gmorgcyborg
@gmorgcyborg 2 жыл бұрын
Not sure how I found your channel but bruh this video is gold lol and man some of your experiences can def relate to lol( yes getting that throw up head is something else !)
@Composery
@Composery 10 ай бұрын
chapter 3 was hot. I scream when I finish too, and I woke up one day with a letter from all my (80yo) neighbours, saying to not scream and keep it down and stuff, like no biitch, respectfully im gonna enjoy my 20s sorry 😆
@elios7623
@elios7623 2 жыл бұрын
chapter 3 is hilarious dude, hey you earned a sub, god damn
@NateBuker
@NateBuker 2 жыл бұрын
You talk into the camera and not much else and the pitch perfect editing helps but you are a natural for stand up and if you don't look into it I hate you. Hopefully you've gotten out of Idaho and into a place where you can find improv training which I'd think you'd have a ton of fun with it. I think you'd really shine as stand up. If you find an improv group then you're just gonna blow up. A natural ability can be honed into excellence and you sir are ready to jump into that IMHO.
@MiasmicBlight
@MiasmicBlight 18 күн бұрын
“fucking a mouthful of stomach bile” legitimately sounds like a good debut metal album title. 😂
@CorruptNecroFile
@CorruptNecroFile 2 жыл бұрын
You are killing it with your content. I wish you great success 🤘
@augmentormedia
@augmentormedia 2 жыл бұрын
i love the use of THE building
@LoraCoggins
@LoraCoggins 2 жыл бұрын
Damn, I wish I could make my relationship stories funny like this.
@loversspit
@loversspit 2 жыл бұрын
This was gold, thank you, had a solid laugh
@hectorgarza306
@hectorgarza306 Жыл бұрын
Was called a "girthy boy" by this girl I was dating a couple years ago, and it's never left my mind
@meowtherainbowx4163
@meowtherainbowx4163 2 жыл бұрын
Having just learned what “The Less I Know the Better” is about, all those girls using it as their Tinder anthems now seems like a red flag.
@xfleshangelx
@xfleshangelx 2 жыл бұрын
Chaotic stories with ATITFOL on your computer background, goated
@basedmuscleman6539
@basedmuscleman6539 2 жыл бұрын
0:00 more like you just turned shitty poo a few days ago
@rextgun2613
@rextgun2613 2 жыл бұрын
all i can say to chapter 5 is youre not alone. its fucking amazing
@TheVoiceofKizzy
@TheVoiceofKizzy 4 ай бұрын
My mans really said i hit that shit somethin serious and laughed at cops about it
@BoskeLunarAncestral
@BoskeLunarAncestral 2 жыл бұрын
You have to do more story time videos this is funny af and also thanks for the great content!
@Wtfzipcode
@Wtfzipcode 2 жыл бұрын
great stories for real, almost makes me want to record my story of the worlds most awkard foot job (im also not a foot fetish guy so thats another level) but cheaters deserve to suffer so you got off easy. youre like 22 you said? ive got like 10 years on ya so honestly dude, you;ll find someone that has all of her positive qualities and doesnt have the cheater trait. if someones willing to cheat WITH you, they will be willing to cheat ON you. dont be fucking stupid.
@mamiehades
@mamiehades 2 жыл бұрын
Great video as always! Xx
@ashes8596
@ashes8596 2 жыл бұрын
Nice vid dude!
@vincentmomont7538
@vincentmomont7538 4 ай бұрын
"Thank you I'm a dude"🤣🤣
@Shadokiller101
@Shadokiller101 2 жыл бұрын
I was brushing my teeth, watching this on iPad, when you told the shit story.
@KyrosT_
@KyrosT_ Жыл бұрын
Literally on the first date with a woman I told her I had a little bit of weed in my car and she playfully told me she could get free weed from her dealer if she gave him head real quick. I told her I had to go grab my wallet from my car and drove home.
@superiormusic
@superiormusic Жыл бұрын
Yo, did Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle grow his hair long, dyed it black and became a metal head?
@daviddehaas2120
@daviddehaas2120 Жыл бұрын
I need that Interdimensional Extinction flag so bad
@rollsnke
@rollsnke 10 ай бұрын
what a legend
@jasonarmstrong5750
@jasonarmstrong5750 2 жыл бұрын
Damn, these are weirder than some of my date/girlfriend stories. I do have a story that might top these but It didn’t happen to me, it happened to a buddy of mine.
@Alexxthesmith
@Alexxthesmith Жыл бұрын
Your stories where great I’ve been there with some of them
@schizophreniagaming4058
@schizophreniagaming4058 4 ай бұрын
Ok but The Freezing Fight and Now Is Not The Time would have been killer metal core bands in the early 2000’s
@Emily-l9f
@Emily-l9f 2 ай бұрын
I love that we glossed over that he walked his dog at 1am
@AkwardSongbird
@AkwardSongbird 2 жыл бұрын
great vid, good vibes
@nothiliss
@nothiliss Жыл бұрын
in the first story he shows great shitmanship
@karadajz_zvani_dokolenko
@karadajz_zvani_dokolenko Жыл бұрын
ITS GAY TIME
@tazah101
@tazah101 4 ай бұрын
6:47 Himeno would be proud of her
@tracenewbolds2573
@tracenewbolds2573 Жыл бұрын
Every woman I've ever been cheated on me even my ex wife 😂 Such is Life but I'm still kickin it man. Gotta love yourself too.
@sharkboyrory
@sharkboyrory 6 ай бұрын
oh shit deterioration shirt!! i saw them last wednesday
@ulisesgonzalez3474
@ulisesgonzalez3474 2 жыл бұрын
can we have links to all the bands music ... i do kow LIVID !
@mysticmagicsmurfdarklord6844
@mysticmagicsmurfdarklord6844 2 жыл бұрын
I was disappointed with number nine , I was expecting another man 😔
@Technocolor00
@Technocolor00 2 жыл бұрын
I mean for that fourth one, you just gotta find a girl into emeto I guess
@n0etic_f0x
@n0etic_f0x Жыл бұрын
I have to say my funniest wholesome stories both come from people finding out they are Bi while playing a TTRPG. One guy just had a mini panic attack as he realized despite the table being very openly queer. He like started to cry and was like "I like flirting with guys... like I do not think it is just" and we cut him off with "I don't think we give a shit, Goldfeather is dating both the prince and his husband" and then he was just okay because none of us gave a damn. The other is way hotter the guy had the same realization knows my partner and I have an open relationship and asked if next week he could kiss my boyfriend... the next week he did just that. This developed into a complete relationship [let's call it that to stay YT-friendly] he has married a woman and she knows and it has not stopped. Oh, I have a cop one, I had just had sex with my boyfriend and the cops are at my door. I am very drunk and thought it to be somebody I wanted to see as it was 3 AM answered the door totally naked (I could not be viewed from the street, they came round back) and the cops demanded to be let in I said no, get a warrant. They said they had one and they broke down my door. So I started filming. Neither my boyfriend nor I got dressed, we are both piss drunk and just do not have time for this bullshit. I recorded the time (BTW if you can do this... do so record a clock, multiple clocks even) and it turns out they... did not have a warrant. Remember I said stuff about clocks, the first one was spotted at 3:11 AM they had a warrant for a house more than a mile from my house, at 6:47 AM. Yeah, they got sued. I got a new door, new floors, and a new PC because, for the second time, they took a PC from me to search it for drugs.
@nataleigh8377
@nataleigh8377 2 жыл бұрын
Why is this shit so funny 💀
@emrysthefirst7778
@emrysthefirst7778 Жыл бұрын
I want more chaos... M O R E!
@jerrydavis3093
@jerrydavis3093 7 ай бұрын
The woman thought having alcohol on hand and selling drugs would do the trick. Because that move has never failed once on a woman lol.
@sufferfr0mdecay
@sufferfr0mdecay 2 жыл бұрын
you are my life tyler
@gunkgirl
@gunkgirl 2 жыл бұрын
ISBTGAT BLOOD INCANTAION POSTER AGH FAVORITE DETAGH METAL BABD MAN LIKR AUSGGAHSHSHDH
@SCdead106
@SCdead106 2 жыл бұрын
It's ok dude we all have some crazy times and you got lots of time for more funny times trust me im 31
@necroticpoison
@necroticpoison Жыл бұрын
Funny aa vid, did laugh, 10/10 👍
@tacobellalugosi2527
@tacobellalugosi2527 2 жыл бұрын
22 bro wait till ur 44 and ur bones hurt and your grumpy . 22 man ur life is just starting .
@kai_plays_khomus
@kai_plays_khomus Жыл бұрын
The worst thing is that I'm actually believing you.
@A-man1998
@A-man1998 Жыл бұрын
Aw man there was this one time when this girl I was seeing, never existed.....
@youthofyesterdayrecords
@youthofyesterdayrecords Жыл бұрын
Just remember this. You are already elderly. Time is an illusion, man.
@ADeadbirdsanimate
@ADeadbirdsanimate 2 жыл бұрын
Good job
@cult_roomba1610
@cult_roomba1610 2 жыл бұрын
F
@SerfsUp1848
@SerfsUp1848 2 жыл бұрын
fuck dude. hot goth woman cheating story..... hits home. hits hard. there should be a fuckin support group.
@Shadokiller101
@Shadokiller101 2 жыл бұрын
Holy shit the vomit, these stories did not get better.
@mordi17
@mordi17 2 жыл бұрын
did he say his dogs name was Bianca? that's what it sounded like and that's also my dogs name
@knothing8104
@knothing8104 2 жыл бұрын
lol i vomited hard and still got it.. MSI knowledge made them forget i vomed hard.
@noxfun534
@noxfun534 10 ай бұрын
Hey bud! My homies owns a comedy club in Denver!! Say the word and I'll get you a time slot!!!!!!
@gifzwerk
@gifzwerk Жыл бұрын
How
@gnarlywagner8171
@gnarlywagner8171 Жыл бұрын
You look like the male version of Hailey Isaak. (Dan corrigans ole lady)
@wesmcbrayer7878
@wesmcbrayer7878 2 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@HalloTschuess
@HalloTschuess 15 күн бұрын
Bro that's what you get for assisting in cheating. I do feel kinda strongly about that. Love ain't no excuse, my man. Also, was the woman that called you "papi" of latin-american decent? Because in Spanish that is just a (rather weird) general term of endearment. It doesn't mean "daddy" in any way. Look it up. Not much weirder though than what americans do when they refer to the person the have romantic and sexual feelings towards as "baby" (literally an infant). 😅
@blakeschwab7518
@blakeschwab7518 Ай бұрын
if it makes you feel any better the first night my ex wife and i moved in together i shit my pants while we were sleeping, luckily i was sleeping on my stomach so it wasnt quite as bad as it sounds.
@TalkingCheeseBurgerr
@TalkingCheeseBurgerr 2 жыл бұрын
_crustbag_ I'm sorry but by Chapter 5 I had to check the time and realized I wasn't even half way thru this video. No ragrets I'm gonna push through to the end.
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