MST3k 511 - Gunslinger

You found Gunslinger. You know you can watch every full episode of MST3k at www.club-mst3k.com right?
Cult bombshells Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes star in this low-budget panthecolor feminist Western directed by Roger Corman. When the marshal of Oracle, Texas, is killed by a hired gunman, his quick-shooting widow, Rose, straps on his gun and star, puts on some pants, and aims to find out who did the hiring. (from wikia)

[@stellamarie1065]

"Most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying pattern" my favorite riff in this episode

[@LoneKharnivore]

"Honey, don't." I love when Joel talks to the bots as his kids.

[@vlpwby]

"It’s a hallway and don't you forget it!" 😂 Love the bedroom door gags!

[@alexiaNBC]

"Why don't you drink in your room?" (Slurred) It's a hall!

[@applemask]

What it is, little wormy guy

[@mattpierce5009]

Tom's quantum physics skit is possibly my new fav host segment, this episode is seriously underrated

[@tutorjulslee2357]

I feel badly for her husband. He dies within the first 5 minutes, she doesn't even cry and within a few days, she is making out with an outlaw.

[@SeanP7195]

So like most relationships when they end.

[@patrickkennedy8706]

The original ho.

[@K4RN4GE911]

The first MST3K I ever watched with my grandfather. He had good taste and I'm glad he shared this series with me.

[@applemask]

No-one was a better little wormy guy than Jonathan Haze.

[@prometheusunbound7628]

May 21, 1878, was a Tuesday, not a Friday, so all the days are wrong. For shame, Corman.

[@Evertide05]

RIP Beverly Garland (1926-2008), MST's favorite actress.

[@howardmctroy3303]

“Joel, is there anyway I can be mummified and placed next to Stalin?” “Sure, honey.”

[@GlitchanBlack]

“Well, that’s what I want. To be mummified and placed next to Stalin.”

[@carlabamford9154]

Corn Palace, Wall Drug, Mt. Rushmore, what fun memories I have of the Midwest & Dakotas. MST3K Wayback Machine!

[@brianfuller5868]

MST3K riffed it well but this honestly is one of Cormans better efforts. The acting is serviceable with an actual plot. Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes☺

[@Da_ComputerMonster]

We need the Best Minds to come together in a room, and discuss which Coreman films are ranked Best to Worst. (Red Masque is at the Top, no doubt about it)

[@tugboat2030]

Why is all your stuff in the hallway?

[@VoicesByZane]

happiness is finding an episode of MST3K you haven't seen before

[@jeffreyriley8742]

+Zane Especially at this point in the series.

[@BlackMasterRoshi]

me three!

[@wedgewizard5429]

i've been searching for a while,... i have to agree

[@samuelstephens6163]

Same. But admit addiction to a few episodes: Cave Dwellers in particular is hilarious, the mellow toned riffs, the flying sequence, the Shakespeare-wannabe villain, puppet snake wrestling, hubcap girl, the unrelated title sequence...I'll watch it any day.

[@AmyLSacks]

@@desktorp For me it's *Secret Agent Super-Dragon* and *Puma Man* .

[@JoeEnglandShow]

Y'know, I will admit this strikes me as one of Corman's better attempts. Which might not be saying too much, but it's got multifaceted characters, some acceptable action, some cute dialogue... and... well it's not as bad as some of his others, anyway. If you're feeling generous.

[@JohnDoe-vm5rb]

I actually like corman's work (mostly). Sure, they're often not great but the man is operating on what were (and are, he's still working) budgets that are 'shoestring' at best. I'm far more forgiving-and sometimes they even become charming-when I remember that.

[@HylianFox3]

This movie actually has a sort of Shakespeare feel to it. Morally ambiguous characters; even our heroine Rose looks the other way when it's obvious that Erica & Kane are plotting her murder, not to mention the deaths of others. Even when Jake aka Little Man aka Wormy flat-out tells her everything she chooses not to act because of her feelings toward Kane. And much like 'Hamlet' the film ends with 95% of the characters dead. "I thought you were dead!" "The good die first." "Most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns."

[@Jesse__H]

Definitely his most watchable, of the ones I've seen. No horrendous acting, decent costumes and sets, and a completely coherent plot. It was only his second year as a director too!

[@douglasmcdonough7783]

A lot of times how they introduce dr F and Frank escape me so I decided to start googling it. Peter Lynn Hayes and Mary Healy were a H&W vaudeville / acting team from the 40- 50s +. Performed almost exclusively together and were married until his death in 1998.

[@BrooklynJackBlue]

I love the Crow-beak shaped bite marks out of his sandwich!

[@jean-paulaudette9246]

I feel like that sammich made another appearance, maybe in "Pod People"? I seem to remember hime asking Joel to 'Here, hold my sammitch." when he was taking a turn on the Wall of Keyboards.

[@kevinbarksdale7897]

"Looks like a nice, quiet little town you've got here." "Well, that's because in the last week we killed more than half the town's population. But property values are really low right now, so we expect it will grow pretty fast once word gets out."

[@iworkout6912]

And plenty of extra horses now.

[@nothing-2-live-4]

"ive never known more about what isnt going on in the movie" -Mike Nelson on Corman's movie The Undead (ep. 806)

[@PositronRobo]

Joel: Man, this movie is just sitting on my head and crushing it. ACCURATE.

[@tbohrer01]

You can't watch the saloon dancing scene without laughing "Naughty Spank" 😂

[@YoshiAngemon]

"He made MY head explode! Thank you, Dr. Forrester! Thank you!" "OHHH! WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!" "Thank you!" Yep, Tom Servo was really relieved to have that balloon pop.

[@crk2600]

"It's so hot in here! We're so sessy! We did not mean to do that but we did it!" Love the riffing on the dancers.

[@giantlobsterboy644]

I love it when Frank points at the screen and Forrester stops scanning him to scan the movie (and Tom's balloon head).

[@alexewing7264]

39:41 “Hey this is moving to fast for me,” when it looks like she is dropping to her knees in front of him is the best part of the episode. Mike was sexual often but it was always a treat whenever Joel did it because he was so subtle.

[@stirnersretrowave5094]

Crow: Joel, is there any way I can be mummified and placed next to Stalin? Joel: Sure, honey. Crow: Well, that's what I want: mummified and placed next to Stalin.

[@mauricedavis8261]

Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes directed by Roger Corman...Apparently I've been a very good boy, indeed!!!🙏😘

[@tamcon72]

When does this marshal[l] lady sleep? From the anachronistic hair and undergarments, to the ludicrous romanticizing of the Confederacy, to the erratic calendar sequences--as an aside, her husband's been dead a week and she's canoodling with a felon?--this film IS maddening to watch. Thanks, MST3K, thanks a lot!

[@samtownend6744]

You're expecting realism from a Roger Corman film? As my own aside, for some reason the fifties women's hairstyles really annoy me

[@tamcon72]

Sam Townend Consistency! All I ask for is consistency! P.S. That hair is a feat to actually achieve. It requires that one refrain from washing one's hair for about five days, after which one must apply pints of aerosol hairspray. You finally get it right, gazing at yourself in the mirror in triumph, before suddenly realizing you look like that bust of Beethoven. And you're not Beethoven.

[@samtownend6744]

Well consistency is rare with any MST3K movie, you've got to shut off your normal expectations. But their hair is so curly, and the colours so false! Sometimes I like to imagine that punk hair had happened in the 50s and I try to picture them all with mohawks and spikes and shaved bits

[@tamcon72]

Sam Townend "shaved bits" [snort!]

[@samtownend6744]

tamcon72 naughty

[@TimelordR]

Seeing both Allison Hayes & Beverly Garland in this Roger Corman oater reminds me of an old joke from The Benny Hill Show when Benny in a sketch as a gunslinger says to a saloon gal, "I'll show you my 45's if y'all show me your 38's".

[@mikezylstra7514]

Yes!

[@fucktardmst3kfan144]

What kills me is, I lived in a shed attached to a trailer home that looked like a hallway. I basically lived in a hallway! Hahaha!

[@lastcathar]

I'll lie in state for several days at the Corn Palace while "Hooked on a Feeling" is sung by a choir of castratis.

[@williammatthews693]

Dr Forrester: Hey boobie. Do you want to make people's heads explode? Sure we all do.

[@stevej71393]

This movie was pure garbage, but if it wasn't for garbage movies, there would be no MST3k.

[@scitsalcoryp]

eh, compared to a lot of ' pure trash ' before my eyes on TV today....this might be pure gold :) i mean the original movie . Of course our update with our friends is great too !

[@BrooklynJackBlue]

I love how they say "sammich" throughout the whole of the show.

[@Jesse__H]

Mitchell ... with his eyes on the sammich 🎵 Maybe my favorite single line in the series? Definitely up there.

[@Piper8Bit]

Toms bit at the end is one of my favorites on the show. Absolute gold.

[@zrxdoug]

"I'll see you in your room tonight." "It's a hallway and don't you forget it!" Stomps out of the bar past Wormy.. "What it is, little wormy guy?" (In Droopy Dawg voice) "I never liked him."

[@horrorfan888]

"Hey, Lady, you forgot to tell me where the... OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHHH!"

[@HylianFox3]

"Third dead body on the left."

[@quester09]

'ever see a peace officer in a corset?' 'yeah, your husband.'

[@ElveeKaye]

This Western town has a population of, what, 12? And four of them are horses.

[@ericm1839]

Matrix29bear this movie had character development? every time a supporting character opened their mouth to show motive for anything the crazy pms sheriff shot them

[@LoneKharnivore]

Ass.

[@EternalBooda]

I don't know about you, but there are a lot of situations I could rectify with the line, "You tried to make my head explode you freaked out maniac!"

[@LoneKharnivore]

"rectify" I don't think that word means what you think it means.

[@desktorp]

I feel so lazy for being here because I have every episode of MST3K on disc, but it's boxed up and I don't feel like digging for it.

[@troywright359]

Can't comment on your dvds either

[@rarecatsnake]

I'm just wingin' it here, lord

[@TheStapleGunKid]

The "hallway room" is easily one of the most memorable running riffs ever done on MST3K

[@HylianFox3]

*drunkenly* "Come out!"

[@RiflemanIzzie]

I love how she just apparently shoots at anyone that looks remotely anything evil.

[@WeerdMunkee]

38:31 "There's Jack Nicholson's place!" That's brilliant! LOL!!! The moment he said that, it became very clear to me that scene was shot in the Hollywood Hills!! Lol!!

[@LoneKharnivore]

90% of Hollywood's output was filmed in the area. At least the SW US is reasonably appropriate here - it's pretty funny how many alien planets and bits of Europe and Africa in old TV and movies look suspiciously like California.

[@johnmccormick4719]

I was in a community theater near Detroit in the 80s and there was a photo on wall of John Ireland, he was member of same theater before he went to hollywood

[@timcook1928]

"Booze! It's what's for dinner."

[@l.a.gothro3999]

Did Joel & the 'bots anticipate Crocs - "wiffle shoes"?

[@dougjb7848]

Wiffle Claude Akins!

[@AJF786]

I'd like to think that Rockdale is actually Rock Ridge and that this movie and Blazing Saddles take place in the same canon.

[@sertorrhenclegane]

Or maybe, they're sister cities.

[@garymccammon6696]

"You'd do it for Randolph Scott."

[@HylianFox3]

In fact, this movie's plot is very similar to Blazing Saddles. Mainly in that a corrupt business person is trying to buy up (or otherwise seize) all the land in hopes that the railroad will come though, making them a fortune. But at least Hedley knew the railroad was going through Rock Ridge.

[@gohawks3571]

@@garymccammon6696 Ran Dolph Scott!🎶🎶🎶

[@number1fool]

movie would be over much quicker if rather than killing the guy that beverly garland shoots at her husband's burying, they follow him and interrogate him.

[@drido]

Roger Corman pushes my buttons, too. Thank you MST3K!

[@auntiec6294]

"Shut up, little man." ("You've got mending to do.")

[@raymondboxraymondbox972]

well, i'm British and i love it. and sorry about the Benny Hill thing. please don't shoot me. ;)

[@AmyLSacks]

I think in the modern era many Brits must have come around. Several one-time Best Brains have done show in England, right?

[@RatelHBadger]

Sorry for Jimmy Saville?

[@troywright359]

@@RatelHBadger I don't understand the question Badger...

[@RatelHBadger]

I don't understand this thread either...

[@StevenGresser]

I guess the producers of this movie didn't know the pony express only existed from 1860-61.

[@LoneKharnivore]

It's part of America's foundation myth.

[@ErichoTTA]

"She won't even show her face""Doodley, doodley, doodley, her face!"

[@WayWardWonderer]

Huh, Joel's first western movie was also his last western movie!

[@hamursh]

And it was his only Western movie!

[@HylianFox3]

what about The Painted Hills? that was the episode right before this maybe Lassie movies don't count as westerns...

[@douglasmcdonough7783]

@@HylianFox3 I thought the same thing. Short memory. Maybe they were shot differently than they aired

[@Jesse__H]

@@douglasmcdonough7783 Yeah that's definitely possible. Happens to shows all the time.

[@insectoidinheritor896]

I think a wiffle hat would actually have a chance of catching on.

[@oldfan1963]

+Insectoid Inheritor what about whiffle underpants? So cool, so breezy!

[@JohnDoe-vm5rb]

Well, Crocs are essentially wiffle shoes...

[@phylliselizahb1041]

The chairs @ the Lakewood library are waffle chairs (computer dept).

[@clibinarium]

In fairness, the mayor was only one or two civil war stories away from being shot by someone in town

[@najhoant]

"Cue the horses!"

[@iworkout6912]

Especially the horses that have reapostered.

[@t1p9d]

Yeah, it was totally Lookout Mountain that lost the war for the South. Not the conquest of the Mississippi or the March to the Sea or the fall of Northern Virginia or the surrender at Appomattox. Nor was it the blockade nor the Union's control of New Orleans nor the South's lack of industrial capacity nor the fact that Britain discovered it could meet its need for cotton in Egypt rather than importing from the South.

[@stacyhamilton2619]

Egypt? If anybody but Joe Derosa is your nonFake first and last name, you are ridiculous. India was providing nearly 70% of Britain's cotton by 1862. Also Brazil, China & other Asian and African nations exported cotton to Britain. And, only 1 out of 6 blockade runners were halted. The real reason Jeff Davis lost the war was Lincoln's vampire hunting abilities.

[@michaelccozens]

@@stacyhamilton2619 I'd point out that "number of attempted blockade runners" is likely far-enough below "number of merchant ships lawfully trading in peacetime" to make the number of runners actually caught essentially meaningless. Additionally, your points about Britain's overall cotton imports, while interesting, aren't germane to the question of whether Egypt replaced the South's market-share in said market.

[@stacyhamilton2619]

@@michaelccozens The Germans have nothing to do with it. Just ask Jackie Gleason. Additionally, was part of Steve Ohm's post excised in the intervening three years? It would seem something is missing in said post.

[@dirtydave2691]

Yea Look Out Mountain Tennessee..............over looking Chattanooga which has been infested with bearded hipsters!

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

@@dirtydave2691 Are there any other sort, sir?

[@jeffreyriley8742]

42:29 "You, a, Joel Robinstone?" "Uh, that's Joel Robinson..." "Whatever."

[@jeffreyriley8742]

45:20 "Doors don't open like that...there's a number...he's in the hall!"

[@johnathanreynolds8221]

+longhairfan , "Wait a minute! She's in my room! Where do I go??" lol!

[@jeffreyriley8742]

@@johnathanreynolds8221 "Now get outta my hall!"

[@georgewilson7432]

RIP Roger Corman.

[@jorgezarco9269]

The Scanner Planner? Scanners(1981) is an amazing science fiction-horror film. There's a drawing of a screaming Michael Ironside on the book!

[@joeywall4657]

One of the best in the whole series.

[@tonychristo8393]

Movie's almost to good to be a mst3k show!!

[@Unclejoe420]

A Roger Corman western? This is gonna hurt..

[@julietfischer5056]

He made films in many genres. Master of exploitation.

[@Unclejoe420]

Juliet Fischer his films are always good for a laugh, even if they're not meant to be!

[@greenranger8884]

"Whoa, we've got movie sign!!!"

[@jayjaycajun9735]

"He killed my four brothers." 'And my forefathers!"

[@auntiec6294]

"How am I gonna explain this to...oh, that's right."

[@jacobclausen3364]

Back then, money was a lot of money.

[@ericm1839]

this movie was brutal. like, i know mst3k does bad movies on purpose but COME ON.

[@onikoneko]

"And naughty spank and naughty spank and you've been bad in the tushy! Now, naughty naughty naughty this way, naughty naughty naughty that way, higher girls!" "Hey lady, you forgot to tell me about the- OH MY GOD, AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" By far my favorite riffs of this episode

[@phillipdietzen5637]

Bev. Garland: Her own series, "DECOY" (CASEY the Undercover Cop) "My 3 Sons"(Fred Macmurry's 2nd Wife. ) All A -List stuff. The Cardshark, that taught Rachel and monica to play poker on "Friends".

[@TGCRVT]

Yes, riff on her all you want, but damn, Beverly Garland was a fox.

[@Giggity55555]

"Say what you want, Reverend; this brings in the parishioners!" I seriously almost did a spit-take.

[@muthesquirrel]

The final scenes filmed on location everywhere in the world.

[@LoneKharnivore]

One of the reasons California was great for movie-making.

[@sonicranger8481]

He made my head explode! Thank you Dr Forrester! Thank you!

[@alanclements9137]

Rip Roger Corman

[@KRhetor]

She was the best actress to make multiple appearances in 50s science fiction films.

[@horrorfan888]

Hey lady, you forgot to tell me where the... OH MY GOD! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

[@GoblinXXX]

Wiifle cat, wiffle dog, wiffle Claude Akins! Wiffle!

[@benjaminbarrera214]

May 21, 1878, was a Tuesday, not a Friday. This completely ruined the realism of the film for me.

[@jaohonaxa]

50:55 uh, I think the whole Sherman's march to the sea, Fall of Richmond, and Lee surrendering at Appomattox things didn't help your cause much either bright boy.

[@number1fool]

How about this: Cain says he's been waiting 15 years. Garland says she learned about it in school. subtract 15 years from garland's character's age.

[@tutorjulslee2357]

I was wondering about that too!

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Sherman sort of moseyed to the sea, rather than marched. Sauntered, even. "Just don't let them name a ****ing tank after me when the hellish things are invented," were his last words.

[@applemask]

"The old Fred West." That's quite chilling now.

[@jeffreyriley8742]

+Applemask Doesn't conjure up pleasant thoughts.

[@robertlombardo8437]

​@@jeffreyriley8742 What, why? Is there something I'm missing?

[@jeffreyriley8742]

@@robertlombardo8437 Fred West is a famous serial killer from England.

[@phylliselizahb1041]

Nice close up of Trace's gorgeous copper colored eyes . . .

[@TheSecurityCamChannel]

"It's a hallway and don't you forget it!"

[@mikezylstra7514]

It's a pity MST3K never did "I Saw What You Did" It was made for this show.

[@43nostromo]

Boy, it's really blue out today.

[@nayrphantom]

3:50 is Dr. F secretly an observer? :O

[@robertroy92]

good theory

[@CaptainJZH]

The last regular Joel episode.

[@phillipdietzen5637]

John Ireland ,was a major Star and leading man! He kept doing these movies for Corman, because Roger let him Direct! He wanted to Direct more than act!(Shades of Eastwood!) He finally got dis-enchanted and went back to being a star! And made "A Movies" for another 20 years! (One of his last: "Farewell My Lovely" with Mitchum, in the 70 s! 2 of his big credits were "All the kings Men" and a little film called; SPARTACUS!!!

[@thepikapikaaa]

Frank with an exploded head . . . the first decent special effect I've ever seen on the show 0_o

[@uVueD2b]

Watching this yet again 😅😅😅....just thought that the opening animation probably took longer to make than the actual movie..

[@only257]

Hiliarous episode good riffing and good host segments👻

[@pretorious700]

"If I'm gonna talk, I'm gonna ride" "Keep your mouth shut!" I take it back, the dialogue in this thing is the strangest part.

[@AcoskyFilms]

Hey Tom, is that your head, or did your neck blow a bubble?! (Partly quoted from Servo on MST3k KTMA years).

[@fairfortune67]

The intro just takes me back to simpler times

[@thezenitsufan1249]

Joel's penultimate episode

[@coravidae9479]

Oh god, they inspired crocs.

[@AdamBlackArts]

"WIFFLE!"

[@cforsterichikawa5638]

Whiffle shoehorn, Whiffle apartment building, Whiffle Claud Akins, WHIFFLE. There goes my drink on the keyboard.