MST3K - Favorite Moments - The Starfighters

[@XiahouJoe]

Spring of 95. This was my first episode of MST3K

[@butcherboy2008]

You know, it's sort of interesting to see how they fuel planes in mid-air. Hey, can you show it to us 27 more times?

[@toshomni9478]

I'm more fascinated by this telephone technology. I wish there had been more closeups of people talking on it or just listening to somebody else talk on one.

[@DrGregoryHouseIT]

I think we can say that this was a movie that existed. And that's it.

[@dylanstalnaker3795]

i'm not even sure we can say that much.

[@Cutecrusher25]

Q: What's the best way to get your hands on an F-104 Starfighter? A: Buy an acre of land in Germany and wait.

[@bigblob1623]

Hilarious!

[@marcomorana]

Obviously a German airfield of 8000 ft and 4000ft short of what was recommended by Lockeeed..

[@ChrisMattern-oh6wx]

Fun fact: the F-104 was known, not affectionately, as "the lawn dart" by its pilots. The Germans called it "the Widowmaker."

[@nataliewaters7415]

"You know flying a plane is like making love?" Crow: You have to pay? So great! xD

[@eggbuscus]

Mike: I've got a lump in my throat. Crow: I've got a lump in my poopie suit.

[@Woulfe]

The movie that asks "Just how many innuendo jokes can one do in a single film ?"

[@bayarea8021]

"He broke the face barrier."

[@monkeymouse]

"Look out for snakes!" When the best part of a movie is a riff from "EEGAH"...

[@dennisyoung4631]

If they were on Okinawa, they might have encountered the *Habu* - which is a viper you do not want to encounter.

[@ke777in]

This was the cleanest shaven movie I've ever watched.

[@SaesarSalad]

+rosdower They shave with those razor sharp wing edges.

[@phwailes8570]

"i'm incapable of love, over"

[@TheStapleGunKid]

Before I saw this episode, I never realize high tech air force fighter jets and their pilots could be so boring.

[@rarmstrong86]

The best part of this episode was all of the sexual innuendos Mike and the 'bots made of the suggestive refueling scenes.

[@eyeOOsee]

"Fill your pants over France in your Poopie Suit"......LOL

[@kdkatz-ef2us]

After laughing at this movie many times, I found myself missing my time in the air force, decades ago!

[@gamingchinchilla7323]

did you have a poopie suit too?

[@Razzlewolfflight]

Plane refueling looks like some really bizarre animal mating...

[@maxheadrom3088]

Starfighters makes Manos look like a work of art!

[@JohnSmith-kz8yo]

This is the movie that Ed Wood never made. lol

[@luisreyes1963]

@@JohnSmith-kz8yo Ed Wood was into making bad movies, not boring ones.

[@femoman]

I know it's incredibly immature and juvenile, but all the poopy-suit jokes had me in stitches!

[@member-berry-bonbons1124]

The actually name for the suit is actually submarine uniform. I have no idea why it's called 💩 suit.

[@JohnAdam-of-Iowa]

But never in the history of cinema has there been a more thorough explanation of corn detasseling, a job that, I can tell you from experience, should not be spoken of lightly or with enthusiasm. I can only guess there's a secret Iowa League of Detasselers that blew their whole budget on getting that scene in the picture.

[@MrRyan-wu4jx]

@John Adam I’m stealing “should not be spoken of lightly or with enthusiasm” that’s great.

[@LchanOtakudom]

“I know I’m supposed to feel something, but I don’t.” Crow, I love you!

[@SerPinkKnight]

"Wasn't he caucasian earlier?" "Don't crap in your hand Crap in your poopy suit"

[@TheRogueWolf]

Behold, a movie that dares to forego such inconsequential frivolities as "plot", "action" and "identifiable characters"! It's planes, people; more footage of planes and things planes do than you can shake a stick at! In fact, shaking a stick is likely to generate more entertainment than this movie!

[@WalkerRileyMC]

+TheRogueWolf Well....there was a plot, I think. Something about the dad wanting the kid to do something, but the kid wanting to follow his own thing, and the base commander getting caught in the middle of it.....I think. I tended to zone this film out.

[@ScreamingScallop]

I think it's like 1980's "The Final Countdown"--somebody wanted to make a movie but needed the military's cooperation to do it; the military said, "okay, but we need to make a few changes;" and voila! A ninety-minute-overlong recruitment ad!!

[@evanfinch4987]

Did you work in a pun about the aerodynamic stall warning system?

[@littlekingtrashmouth9219]

It’s like Koyaanisqatsi, but with no point.

[@mrcritical6751]

I think the dad is just hyperfixating on getting his son transferred for some reason but the son keeps saying no, I dunno the plot was too complicated man

[@WhatsOnNext]

"You all want to climb into this box?" Excuse me?! Perfect. I said the same damn thing at the same time.

[@donaldpetkus1637]

“Is your face odd? Misshaped ? Join the Air Force.”

[@evanfinch4987]

misshapen

[@TimelordR]

What compelled MST3K to choose this film for ridicule? They lost a bet? It's about as action-packed as wax paper.

[@BryonYoungblood]

Mike: There’s ALREADY too much flying in this movie!!

[@SeanP7195]

I mean, install a small camera in one of the cockpits and show the pilot do a barrel roll. Have a chase plane show one of the jets go vertical. Do that look back scene where a plane comes at you from a different direction. Have an object get blown over on the runway as a jet takes off to show its power. Show the pilot squeezing the trigger on the stick. I mean, something, anything, this stuff isn’t hard people.

[@luisreyes1963]

Guess it wasn't in the budget. 💳

[@WalkerRileyMC]

Not in this particular video (I think, was watching the whole thing on a different channel....jerk disabled comments.....I digress) but the intro skit with Crow trying to connect to the 'Information Super Highway" was a blast and an awesome kickback to those of us who grew up in the modem era. Kids today don't know our pain oh I feel old now........

[@whiteknightcat]

"I hope they blow up Blossom" That sure aged well.

[@jetfire851]

Without any dialogue, there's all the more room for sex jokes. Love the Young Frankenstein shout-out.

[@theHardyMonster1984]

"He's not ugly enough to be in the Air Force."

[@999apeman]

HIGHWAY TO THE COMA ZOOONNNEEEE

[@OtisWild]

"you all wanna climb into this box?" "excuuuse me?!"

[@bigblob1623]

The poopy suit part almost killed me!

[@thedativecase9733]

Me too. The worst film with some of the best riffs. Who cleans the Poopy suits I wonder.

[@petercharleskrug]

7:45 That is one VERY unflattering assessment of guys in the Airforce.

[@ravenplumesrookery6120]

Just the pilots (and perhaps the Wideband folks as well).

[@DrThunder88]

Welcome to the Rainbow Gathering. Peace is possible in our lifetime AAAUGH!

[@GillianMStarlight]

I actually have a die-cast model of the F-104 Starfighter. I do not have a poopie suit. In all seriousness, I'm glad this episode is on dvd. The United Servo Academy Men's Chorus played a good medley ("in the big country, dreams stay with you"...).

[@crelm]

Seriously. Some landing gear almost failed but it ended up working fine, a girl from Iowa explains detasseling, there several riveting refueling scenes. That is everything.

[@janetwallace9264]

The Starfighters... No stars, no fighters, but footage of planes flying, plane refueling, lots of sex innuendos and poopy suits.

[@thedativecase9733]

MST3K turned this from the most boring movie ever into one of funniest ever. Tom Servo's choir "we are fans of Colin Firth" and then they start singing the lovely old filthy WW1 song Mademoiselle from Armentieres They didn't get to "Sgt Major's having a time f---ing the girls behind the lines". As for the Poopy suit song at the end - priceless.

[@FreshSpecimens]

3:49 😂😂😂😂 Beaulieu Crow is my absolute favorite.

[@thedativecase9733]

I love Trace Beaulieu as Crow.

[@JamesJoyce12]

poopy suits r a real thing - and i resent u mocking poopy suits - and i may be slightly drunk.

[@wickedmuffin76]

I'm really drunk and I support the mocking of poopy suits

[@maniacaldude]

"Really think there's more nothing in this movie than in any movie we've seen." "So basically, according to themselves, the Air Force is a bunch of leather-faced, not-so-bright, heavy drinking, dull-witted speed freaks who poop in their pants and can't make it with women. Right? Am I right?" I think both of these quotes accurately sum up this boring-ass movie. It amazes me they were able to get so much comedic material from it.

[@ngobleus]

They're elderly airplanes that write to people about how much they don't like refueling.

This video alone is pretty much the whole movie, so yeah you're right lol

[@jetblack99]

This movie is like a feature-length infomercial for the F-104. Dull does not begin to describe it. I have a theory that this film may be a relic of the PR campaign waged by both Lockheed and the Air Force to burnish the F-104's rep in the wake of a rash of fatal crashes and a massive multinational bribery scandal over the sale of the Starfighter in Europe. The USAF was probably eager to draw attention to how cool the F-104 looked instead of it's mediocre combat abilities.

[@jetfire851]

"Flying a plane is like making love..." "You have to pay?" I need a shirt with that on it.

[@taureleafsilver]

refueling is one of the most suggestive things I've every seen

[@luisreyes1963]

Gotta keep the audience awake somehow. 😴

[@ngobleus]

"I got a lump in my throat..." "I got a lump in my poopie suit!

[@itsthebrew93]

6:08 Watch out for snakes! YES an Eegah reference. For those that don't know Eegah was a film they riffed earlier.

[@AL52Dragon]

"Kaboing! bididididididididididididididididididi.. It's the new Air Force Goofy Bomb, from Whamo!" You know your movie is bad when the only thing that can save it is a couple of middle aged white guys from Minnesota making fun of it.

[@thegoodlifeonlybettr]

"Oh you are so the only girl around."

[@ChevronTango]

"wow the potential for something to happen right now is very high"

[@subaduck]

"Wanna' play 'refueling?'"

[@donaldpetkus1637]

Kevin Krueger She’ll probably wait for the third date if she’s old fashioned.

[@ryanhartman3512]

I got a lump in my poopy suit. 🤣

[@3055DOG]

XD It's right up there with Rock Climbing, Deep Hurting, and Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis.

[@educatedcockroach]

This movie did the unthinkable and made me appreciate Tony Scott, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Tom Cruise, and that's quite the feat. Think about it: Top Gun and this crap have the exact same plot, but we remember Top Gun as a tremendously corny but enjoyable movie, and Starfighters ended up on MST3K.

[@guygardner87]

God, my face is big.

[@Torgo1001]

"Oh thank God you got here! I had to eat a lizard and drink my own urine!" "You were missing for ten minutes." "Yeah, I know..."

[@jamminjago]

i saw this on hulu, I kinda wanna make an abridged parody (probably about 10 seconds) but the only plot in the whole movie is the congressman being upset.

[@Zaladormu]

the poopy suit song is the best thing ever

[@nowthatsjustducky]

Which one? The one in the pool, or the one near the end? (Or both?)

[@MrCrown040]

@5:13"oh you are so the only girl around". LMAO!!!

[@purpleshamrock17]

Tom (singing): Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!" "God, my face is big" "go ahead, lick it!" "I had to eat a lizard and drink my own urine...you were only here for 10 minutes!"

[@80MWH]

i think I may hate this film more than 'Monster-a-Go-Go.' At least there was a level of incompetency in 'MaGG' that irritated me in a good way. This film reminded me of Joel's anger towards Torgo in one scene of 'Manos' ("...DO SOMETHING!!"). Not even the saving grace of the 'poopie suit' mention and song was enough to make up for this.

[@more17]

"DO SOMETHING!!" is the best summary of this whole movie ever. 😀

[@AshleyPomeroy]

The odd thing is that you'd expect a movie filled with actual F-104s would be exciting, but it's deadly dull. I wonder if the USAF stipulated that nothing bad should happen to anyone, and that there should be no conflict.

[@kevondaye8125]

6:31 I WANT THIS RINGTONE!!!!

[@havinghehs]

"Don't crap in your hat, crap in your poopy suit!"

[@AckzaTV]

oh god i cant stop laughing, even the dialogue of the movie without the voice over is still redculous and funny, and I watch a lot of old ww2 and cold war military documentaries and none of them are this bad, the military has been making films for a long tme and usually does a great job, have no idea what happened here, probobly compatimentalization

[@marcomorana]

Hilarious should be translated in Italian title of the movie Lo Spillone

[@pdlbean]

"oh you are so the only girl around." XD

[@Poxell91]

Awww shoulda left in "We have a visual ID on numbnuts."

[@ingwersengrady]

lol so hard @ that little little quip by Servo. He is so right on.

[@DrambuieOnTheRocks]

This is one of my fave mst 3k's , because of the jokes, not the story, of course!

[@MauserK43]

Crow: Flying high in the flew, free to do number 2, poop-poopy-dooooo! HAHAHA!!

[@thedativecase9733]

Yes use of the phrase "number 2" just killed me.

[@TF2Fan101]

For a movie called 'Starfighters', there's not much fighting in the stars.

[@auritone]

Or fighting of any kind, for that matter... 😊

[@whiteknightcat]

The planes were Lockheed F104 Starfighters

[@McSwineyyyy]

Does anyone know the name of the song they keep playing in this movie? The “ba ba ba” song. I must know.

[@luisreyes1963]

It's something the producers picked up from the Public Domain pile at the studio.

[@implicaverse]

The Star Fighter was Bush's plane when he was in the Texas Air National Guard. Interesting that Dornan was flying them too. Also interesting that the plane saw little air-to-air combat during Vietnam and had limited deployment.

[@dap777754]

Bush flew the F-102 Delta Dagger, not the F-104

[@kdraper2007]

no it wasn't, F-106 had a delta bush flew an F-106. the 106 was a tailless delta wing & was armed with nuclear tipped air/air missiles. the plane in Starfighters was the F-104 starfighter. which was designed by the same guy who designed the P-38 fighter of WWII, the U-2 spyplane, & the SR-71 mach 3 spyplane.

[@donaldpetkus1637]

That’s odd since the last three planes were excellent.

[@TheStapleGunKid]

Rampant phone call action!

[@ShadesofScorpius]

Oh THANK YOU! This was all the good about the movie, none of the bad (aka, actually watching it) ! :D

[@littlekingtrashmouth9219]

Why would you smoke a cigar in the pool?

[@sumanadasawijayapala5372]

Impossible! The cast claimed that Monster A-Go-Go was the absolute worst movie they reviewed (at the end you can hear their pain, they just give up on riffing because their souls were crushed).

[@docdave15]

I wouldn't be surprised if the air force sued the producers of the film

[@TheStapleGunKid]

Before I saw this movie, I didn't realize air force fighter jets could be so boring. All they do is refuel in midair and blow up white rectangles.

[@donaldpetkus1637]

Carrier landings are quite a thrill, even if you don’t have any white rectangles to blow up.

[@DeltaPunch]

lol @ 1:57 ... "Corbite-4, promise you'll call."

[@eromitlabhitw]

7:58 And in the end, nothing happened.

[@InsertAwesomeNameHere]

Rampant phone call action.

[@JohnSmith-kz8yo]

The movie that Ed Wood never made....

[@luisreyes1963]

The Pentagon turned him down after they found out Ed Wood was a crossdresser. 👙

[@JustinWahlne]

How come the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus isn't in this montage?

[@jetblack99]

@LouistheHedgehog The Skunkworks produced a number of truly great aircraft, but the F-104 was not one of them. It could indeed go super-fast in a straight line, but to achieve that it sacrificed range, payload, and especially low-speed maneuverability (for dogfighting and landing, for example) due to high wing-loading of the tiny wings. It was also so operationally unsafe that the Luftwaffe lost 30% of theirs to accidents, and the Canadians lost 50%. Neat-looking plane, but a total deathtrap.

[@donaldpetkus1637]

I wonder how the F-35 will fare in terms of operational availability and safety. Too bad the F-22 production lines have been scrapped.

[@marcomorana]

Wrong Germans did not know how to operate the F 104 Italian air force operated them till 2004 with good safety record. This is one of the best airplanes ever build still flying after 60 years from genius Kelly Johnson design in 1950s

[@Shadowlynk]

@jetblack99 Wow. The repetitive scenes about how aircraft are just so perfect and errors are only because of human mistakes or lack of training (no Senator, ignore that TAC accident tally, we've only had one this year!), and the scenes about dealing with all the European reps that genuinely want to see the plane... the movie suddenly makes sense, and is all the more sad and pathetic for it.

[@LightHero117]

All the professional pilots, be they real or fictional, would be insulted by this movie.

[@reijiminato8762]

Far worse than "Top Gun" did in 1986

[@Scifimaster92]

I guess, but I was actually thinking more of using the "Top Gun Anthem" during the bombing practice scene, or perhaps "Take My Breath Away" during the refueling sequences.

[@JamesOhGoodie]

Tom Clancy had to take a cold shower after seeing this movie.

[@PchanStitch]

Us aviation buffs kind of love this movie...and the F-104!

[@p.alexlaflam-mcfall2975]

Love the F-104 but MST3K is the only way to make it through this movie lol

[@luisreyes1963]

Must be jealous over Top Gun being a more credible movie than The Starfighters. 😆

[@ryanzdawson]

"Rampant phone call action!"

[@BonTonVon]

THE SEAN PENN STORY!!

[@tsartodd]

who would've thought, after watching this, that Bob Dornan would go on to become one of the most notorious right-wing Congressional crackpots ever. XD

[@rumrnr78]

B-1 Bob was right!

[@johnparrott4689]

B-1 Bob! Funny he used to be considered ‘hard right’. Flaming liberal by today’s standards lol

[@rubystevens4593]

the Sean Penn story

[@SeanP7195]

"The Sean Penn story". Ohhh, I finally get it.

[@docdave15]

yeah if I'm right by the time he retired he was a Brigadier General.