MST3K: The Painted Hills (FULL MOVIE)

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Lassie, Poetic Justice, and more! It's all here as MST3K pays a visit to The Painted Hills!
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Welcome to the official MST3K KZbin channel, brought to you by Shout! Factory. On this channel, you will find many of the best riffs and highlights from MST3K episodes, trailers from DVD box sets, bonus material including never-seen-before footage, as well as new original segments with Joel and his space traveling crew.

[@RETard-me4mj]

Shuts window. "There. That'll keep the devil out". I laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing.

[@ramseydoon8277]

I'm gonna start saying that to people when they do mundane things like draw the shades down.

[@thexalon]

According to one online review of the film: "The best actor in this movie is the dog, and not by a little". I agree with that assessment.

[@LindseyLouWho]

My god, the sheer amount of Snausage trivia the team put together for these annotations is worth at least 4 credit hours for the poor interns who had to research them.

[@gulleyfoyle6859]

they got rid of the annotatins, the bastards

[@stupidnaut5386]

One of the most underrated episodes and one of my favorites.

[@wadecarmen7501]

Lassie was the bitch of Cujo.

[@emmyarellano3704]

This is a classic Joel episode!

[@PostPatriot]

The over use of "underrated" amongst the millennials is becoming as annoying as "literally". Just because you are sheltered and easily entertained doesn't make it that epic. Lol!

[@PostPatriot]

@@wadecarmen7501 cujo got put down.

[@wadecarmen7501]

@@PostPatriot if only it happened 2 the My PIllow Guy

[@ItsRetroPlanet]

MST3K is, without a single doubt, my all time FAVORITE show! I've been watching you guys since the beginning, and I wanna thank you for all the years of entertainment, memorable cast of characters, and all the things that make this show, this show. Happy Early Valentine's day, and see you on the flip side!

[@ThotProphet]

@TheHawkman2132 Don't be pedantic, no one likes that crap and no one is impressed by it.

[@Luka1180]

+Shykla Streeter Being pedantic is a thing people should strive for. Knowledge is great. But you don't need to know everything about strangers, I agree. However it was just a simple question. I fail to see how that is being pedantic. Context matters Shyla.

[@ItsRetroPlanet]

HawkMan2132 no, I was born in Massachusetts in 1991. When I meant beginning, I meant the earliest years of my life. I probably should have been a lot more specific about that.

[@joshuahoover6841]

Gorgo the Orc, random, but yes, yes he did!

[@only257]

Gorgo the Orc same here ☃🤖🎱🕷😜🍦

[@capmar-vell92returns20]

Lassie in a dark revenge picture? What were they thinking?

[@Roadvirus1]

My riff: When title "The Painted Hills" appears: "The Bob Ross story!"

[@chrisbg99]

Taylor's heel turn is pretty quick. He goes gold crazy pretty quick.

[@ThatGuy-y2c]

"Remember last week when he was alive? It didn't last."

[@michaelriley1531]

People are still watching the old mst3k and loving it.

[@thalastianjorus]

We've all tried watching the new MST3K, but ever since Mike and Joel... well... Let's just say that modernity has happened, and it is no longer a show. It's _"Content."_ Modern "Content" isn't often about entertainment - it's about a "Platform."

[@thalastianjorus]

That was fun. It lagged, and tried posting that reply 6 times. Neat.

[@ezekielbrockmann114]

**kills TV's Frank **blames him for dying "Well your movie today is..."

[@nothankyou5524]

Funny how the jokes on the show are now becoming as dated as the movies themselves.

[@em_birch]

@@nothankyou5524 The wind blowing the cows against the barn in "City Limits" will ALWAYS be funny.

[@leemcdonald1342]

50:24 "Oh, throw that in my face!" I'm sad that this Joel riff never became a full-blown meme.

[@andyenglish4303]

I love how the annotations felt the need to explain who Moses is.

[@DennisWurster]

McGraw-Hill is a publisher of textbooks, and would produce shorts like these to show to children in schools.

[@Roadvirus1]

Servo upsetting Crow over Lassie dying from the poison was retaliation for Crow's thing regarding Tibby in Gamera.

[@timothyhites7016]

Roadvirus1 .a

[@Du-Masses]

Oh Tibby, my Tibby 🎶

[@armyofpoo9297]

LASSIE DIES?

[@AceAttorny]

Well, I have MST3K on Valentine's, if nothing else.

[@neesasuncheuri]

I love MST3K's burnt out perspective on love and sex. PERFECT.

[@ernststavroblofeld1961]

This experiment is totally unscientific, even to my standards.

[@kevinkettell1092]

FEBRUARY 14TH

[@RyanBellRyanofWeird]

That's funny. It's Valentine's day in 2018 and I'm watching the same movie you did last year. lol

[@DurkMcGerk]

I had forgotten about the Leno chin on Crow. Love it!

[@Jesse__H]

He got it from _Congress_

[@Setmose]

Sheesh. That was kinda intense for a kiddie film! Shallow grave. Poisoned dog. Dead dad. It's like David Lynch went back in time.

[@AdamWestish]

At least he wasn't dead... wrapped in plastic!

[@SpamEggSausage]

it wasn't incoherent enough to be David Lynch

[@arthas640]

kids shows could be pretty hardcore in ye olden times. Watch the original Bad News Bears sometime, they do stuff most PG-13 films would be afraid to include like a 12yo girl talking about taking birth control, kids using the N word, and kids drinking.

[@steviechan5695]

"I got something to show you." "No!" DX I could not stop replaying that. XD

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Who thought making a gritty revenge film with freaking Lassie was a good idea?

[@stelsue1958]

Oh man, I shouldn't have eaten all those socks! Relatable.

[@uiscepreston]

18:10 Barbra Streisand is famous for preferring to be photographed and filmed on her left side. It is the reason that she refused to do the Tonight Show for over 50 years - from 1963 until 2014, when Jimmy Fallon allowed her to sit in his seat for the interview.

[@wadecarmen7501]

How vain.

[@emmyarellano3704]

I think Mariah Carey tried that on a show before, was pissed cuz she wouldn't be filmed from her left side. Must be a Diva thang?

[@mchris65]

because her nose somehow looked smaller?

[@hotmixxable]

@@mchris65 just a better profile. One side.. classical Barbara. Other side...Jimmy Durante!🤪🤪

[@hotmixxable]

Not vain. Like Jerry's two-faced girlfriend from Seinfeld😂😂😂

[@cneterer]

I don't know why but the "A spitting contest!" line just made me spew Mtn Dew everywhere.

[@thatoljordan]

The "Is there gonna be a test" joke is a reference to McGraw-Hill testbooks.

[@gassnake2004]

"Ugh, people are so shallow and superficial nowadays" The 50's: *Do your hair and wear nice clothes so boys will like you*

[@AlfredFJones1776]

That’s part of it, also part of it is “do your hair and wear nice clothes so you don’t look like a fucking slob.” People _are_ a lot more shallow and superficial these days.

[@tetrahedronify]

@@AlfredFJones1776 Right, people like you.

[@wadecarmen7501]

The 50's had every girl named Betty and everyone on TV and in movies was white.

[@AlfredFJones1776]

@@wadecarmen7501 That’s just not true.

[@AlfredFJones1776]

@@tetrahedronify Um, no? Explain how I’m shallow and superficial?

[@silverwheel]

Rutherford B. Hayes was born humbly to his own son, Rutherford B. Hayes Jr., in Delaware, while it was still Ohio, sometime after the French Revolution. Rejecting a career as a professional speller, he was admitted to the Bar in 1845, though he did not drink lustfully from it. Serving heroically in the Civil War, Hayes admitted later that it was in the Army he first tasted human flesh. In 1876, Hayes beat Bill Tilden in a 3-set quarterfinal at Flushing Meadows, which caused the Electrical College to declare him President of the United States. Here are a few highlights of the administration of Rutherford B. Hayes. In 1877, Reconstruction ended, and Jacques Derrida was named Secretary of Linguistics, and the era of Deconstruction began, and continues to this day. Thomas Edison invented the pornograph, beginning the age of pornography. President Hayes then passed the Hayes Act, started the Hayes Office, won fame as an American Lyric tenor, and was named Archbishop of New York in 1919. After he retired, he founded the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Alan Arthur, and shocked the world with a publicity stunt when, on a bet, he made a tent out of the underwear of William Howard Taft and lived inside for a full year, he did. And in his later years, Hayes retired from the stage and did a series of memorable character parts in Hollywood. Who can forget the time he was slapped by Jacqueline Bisset in the 1971 Universal movie Airport? And then, after inventing ringworm, Hayes died. His last words were: "I have only one life to live, let me live it as a blonde." The end. Oh, and his blood type was AB. The end.

[@uiscepreston]

Good thing you saved this in its entirety from my original IMDb posting.

[@sleepyhollow783]

Crow's report reads better than most of the assignments my friend & I would submit to our history teacher when we were in high skool. :-)

[@kamildrews3517]

This sums up anyone using a Wikipedia for a history essay... right after a troll edited the said Wikipedia page.

[@Firguy]

57:32 They're not talking about the Planet Hollywood in the Mall of America, are they? The last time I went there: I waited for over a half hour and the waiter never showed up to ask for my drink.

[@Popsaircraftdetail]

I love the Leno chin on crow awesome

[@NorrinRaddIITurbo]

Joel's Lessie voice is hilarious.

[@elusiverobertdenby3000]

The look Dr. F gives when he realizes Frank is really dead kills me (pun only somewhat intended)

[@Somebronysomewhere]

So this Valentine's Day, we give a hearty "Snausages" to anyone watching.

[@ashleighs4810]

Omg Crow’s jaw in the beginning 😂😂😂

[@AceAttorny]

I never thought I'd laugh at the death spasms of a dog yet here we are. Wow, that sounds terrible out of context.

[@daughterofolaf]

I love this short. “Those...nose.” 😂😂😂😂 “Skin sucks.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 “And so, the end of a perfect day...” An entire day spent grooming. 😆

[@captainhaire]

Those nose! I’ll say that the rest of my days.

[@uuuuu1111]

Not gonna lie, I laugh every time they say "snausages".

[@pmalone4]

Crow's report on Rutherford B. Hayes had me in tears. XD

[@kevinmorgan8782]

Seeing the puppets, people might think this was a kids' show. It most certainly ISN'T.

[@Popsaircraftdetail]

Absolutely awesome episode Joel. Sitting outside on my iPad loving this thank you brother

[@maximumkarlnage]

Any time and any place is a good time and good place for an MST3K episode.

[@DickDickstein]

Pro tip: Wait until the man actually does all the work to get the gold before killing him.

[@ohdiggy8038]

Up here on the satellite of love. Nice.

[@Kittyfly223]

potato chip covered lard balls, a southern holiday favorite.

[@BakaHoushi]

I think we're all with Crow on Team Sloppy.

[@scottcross2765]

I am funny too!

[@PetProjects2011]

I have a thing for women with messy hair, so...

[@jakublulek3261]

She doesn't even look that messy. 1950s had obviously a bit different standards...

[@pmp2559]

I do refer women to have clean undies

[@sammavacaist]

People who dress and groom perfectly have no personalities.

[@ILjXYZ]

First thing I'm gonna do is buy me a montage!

[@Apvizionz]

"he had sand on his lap and he needed help?"

[@nikkiberns1365]

I grew up with this movie, so this episode was especially hilarious!!!

[@brycemcneil4404]

1:33 This episode aired a few weeks after Letterman debuted on CBS & Leno was getting the shit kicked out of him. Comedians would still make fun of Leno like this in years to come, but this was at a time where it was like kicking him when he was down, not when he was America's #1 host.

[@tomservodoctor42]

Small correction: at 1:22:56 the The Most Dangerous Game was originally a short story written in 1924 by Richard Connell. And thanks for teaching me all there is to know about Snausages.

[@kelvintorrence5994]

only these guys the g.o.a.t. s of t.v. can make any movie bad orbadder great,i miss this show.

[@TreadwellJay]

01:13:00 The head shake was called the "trombone gobble" and was a sound created by editor Treg Brown. It was not a Mel Blanc vocalization.

[@vegetasaiyanprinceofragebo5520]

wow Chris Kristofferson hasn't aged a day

[@birdie58]

I thought a big spider was on my TV screen and it was just the top of Crowls head. Good movie , I use to have this on vhs.

[@emilyfoster4272]

*Finally* I found out where the "I'm so naughty, naughty I am" came from. They've used that in several episodes, and even though it sounded familiar, I couldn't figure out where I had heard it before.

[@wearenotalone5866]

just can't get enough of mst3k love it😁👍

[@z-beeblebrox]

Hahaha I never realized truly how many times the guys referenced Snausages during this movie. Those annotations cracked me up

[@cepson]

47:49 "How do you work this crazy thing?" may be a misquote of the end of the Jetsons where George Jetson gets caught on a runaway treadmill and yells, "Jane, stop this crazy thing." At least, that's what it reminded me of.

[@lazchurchyard1229]

I just love that this was the height of comedy for G*psy. 💜

[@pettifoggingpharisee]

1:25:15 "Oh, for want of a frisbee!" This show always hits you right between the eyes with some of the best one-liners when you least expect it. 😁

[@shellypanfil4122]

510-"The Painted Hills" (1951)-I liked everything about this episode. From Crow's Jay Leno impersonation, Clay utilizing Frank's heart ("At some point, this will kill Frank ..."), to Joel's Back-Talk device, to the opening short, "Body Care And Grooming," (a stifling view on how to conform in the 1950s) to the debate sketch where Crow and Tom argue about whether the girl in that featurette is better neat or unkempt (I definitely choose the latter), to the riffing of the main film, starring Lassie as "Shep," in a movie that is actually not bad on its own, unMiSTed. Jonathan (Paul Kelly-a Kenny Rogers look-alike) strikes it rich, but his investment partner has died, leaving his son, Tommy (Gary Gray), and widow (Ann Doran) to reap the benefits. Joined by Lin (Bruce Cowling), another investor, Jonathan and Tommy set up camp and begin looking for the mother lode. Unfortunately, Lin develops "The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre" syndrome, kills Jonathan and tries to off "Shep" with a poison dog biscuit (hey, who wouldn't?). Justice triumphs as he is forced off a cliff by "Shep," in very bizarre sequence. Almost perfect quipping ("He had sand on his lap and needed help?"; "Who's TOMMY?!"; "First thing I'm gonna do is buy me a montage!"; "They're being ransacked by Tom Bombadil."; "I'm a dog, I can't process this much information!"; "She's dyin' and going to take as many ants with her as possible." and many more) and skits, including Crow's Rutherford B. Hayes report, Servo melts Crow into a gold ingot and bringing Lassie to justice. Great "A" show. Beware, though, as the annotated version has a series of annoying Loreal commercials.

[@lhenderson9140]

I actually think the "Life is pain" line @ 1.08.35 comes from The Long Kiss Goodnight & not Princess Bride where Geena Davis says it to her kid when she falls on the ice & breaks her arm.

[@michaelseidenzahl1136]

Like how Joel even told Tom to chill with the whole Yea there dead too lmao

[@jamesrussell2936]

I never realized Tom's torso is a little barrel/beer keg.

[@therodentman]

him and crow are both made out of pretty specific parts, theres a list of all the weird stuff joel used to make them

[@SigEpBlue]

Crow's skull is mostly a soap dish, IIRC. :)

[@jamesrussell2936]

SigEpBlue I think it's a hockey mask grill.

[@justgween7573]

arin hanson's dick link to said list???? I'd like to make a Tom or Crow or maybe even a Gypsy..

[@therodentman]

im not sure what the rules are for posting links in a comments section, but if you look up "how to build (robot) from mst3k" on astroreverb you get all the info you need!

[@jennystewart2461]

CLASSIC episode! When Lassie puts her head into the guys arm pit and says, "Are you guys talking about me?" I actually really DID laugh out loud. And also the death scene with the 3 Stooges and "I'm dyin' over here." Too freaking funny!

[@stoneyboyd]

3:08 the Cholester-Do-All is kinda weird considering that Frank had a triple bypass surgery in the last few years and has slimmed down considerably

[@emmyarellano3704]

"I love my dead gay son!" love that reference to Heathers!

[@Popcultureguy3000]

The only other time I remember them referencing it was in one of the Hercules movies where Tom makes the bad guy say “I love my dead _Greek_ son”.

[@lazchurchyard1229]

Me, this entire movie: bork bork !

[@fpg213263fu]

Well I made many Saints cry.

[@therodentman]

Hey, people viewing this who miss the annotations: theres an extension to bring them back!

[@freakboy186]

You guys missed one. at 18:07 Tom starts barking to the tune of the opening song from "The Sound of Music."

[@matthewsan78]

Oh YEAH!! Another episode I've never seen. Can't wait to watch it this weekend. :)

[@samtemporary]

"How do you work this crazy thing!?!" (1:31). Reference to the Jetson's treadmill dog walk for Astro.

[@gulfmarine8857]

Favorite episode yet 🤣

[@Popsaircraftdetail]

I didn’t want to cry 😢😭🤣😂

[@Harbalz]

I laughed and cried throughout the entire film 😢😃

[@MrGozer23]

For a dog, thats incredible acting.

[@user-nx6lv8uy4s]

so some of you might ask why did crow had an enlarged chin as he joked about congress, see he was making fun of jay leno, a showman who manned the tonight show back in the time this was filmed. the more you know

[@TedBackus]

9:35 , the sound guy or editor slipped in a secret. it says "Jerk" out of nowhere. :)

[@PhoenixHealing]

You poor Annotation-Writer-Person I feel your suffering at the glut of Snausage references. You have my pity and my giggles. Keep doing what you are doing it's fantastic :-) :-) :-)

[@ralphmalph6824]

I love Gypsy!

[@michaelbuehler3897]

Good to see the annotations get humorous.

[@gallendugall8913]

Great crowd tonight indeed!

[@TaiChiKnees]

Oh happy dance, a new annotated episode!!! Thank you for the Valentine's Day present!

[@steveharvey2102]

1:09:30 "Come out, come out wherever you are" may be a reference to Robert Deniro's (Max Cady) line in "Cape fear".

[@davidreeder43]

Robot Roll Call!!!

[@megatron6713]

Cambot!!!!!

[@KnightlyNerdandDork]

@@megatron6713Pan Left

[@tazindayanslothrop68]

Keep watching the medicine cabinet! Keep watching the medicine cabinet!

[@tomh.2405]

I always wonder what animal actors are thinking during the scenes when they're just sitting there and the human actors are talking. In this movie, for example, when "Jonathan" is delivering his dialogue, I imagine Lassie is thinking, "Geez, this guy's indicating all over the place. Am I the only one on this set who sees this? If the idiots who run this studio had just ponied up a little more dough -- maybe offered up gross points on the back end -- I bet they could've gotten Gary Cooper..."

[@davidandadamplaygamesphelp3601]

A cocaine joke in mst3k. My life is complete.

[@josephjohnson8212]

Thanks for uploading these. This episode in particular. I used to watch them with my dad when I was 6 or 7, and I can still remember the jokes that made him laugh.

[@fshglskjfhglskjhfg]

And now I want some Key Lime Pie...

[@carolyns4519]

I never realized there was so much to be known about Snausages. I now feel that I've been enlightened by the Snausage gods themselves.

[@anadthebarbarian]

As always, good stuff

[@anothervideogamer2543]

I have been waiting for them to post this episode :D

[@InfernoBlazeFilms]

I'm glad that you guys are bringing the show back! Netflix has it on April 14th 2017 this year!

[@Shrekapoof45]

Respect to the fact there were consistent informative annotations for the "snausages" joke

[@duhreetohs2103]

i forgot how hilarious this one was

[@Rolld20]

18:07 The 'music' is the titular song from 'The Sound of Music", rendered by a dog. As Julie Andrews might have said: "The howls fill my heart with the sound of music..."

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

"So What Exactly Does Tommy Get Out Of All This?" He Told Everything Convinantly And Cheaply Off-Screen

[@fucktardmst3kfan144]

anybody exited for the re-boot? I can't wait!

[@TemmiePlays]

its been on netflix for weeks

[@kanna-san.]

no it hasn't.

[@fucktardmst3kfan144]

Kinsey Palmer Yeah, that's what I was gonna say!

[@Luka1180]

Actually, it has. Just without the episodes. It's listed on there as an upcoming show, so in that sense it is on Netflix. Just not to watch yet.

[@Sarahonwheels]

Lukas Sprehn it comes on Netflix April 24th 2017

[@ErichoTTA]

10:50 That gets me every time.

[@loricerny5922]

How is the "pornograph" not a thing?!

[@TheAutisticKeybladeWielder]

according to Wiktionary Pornograph is another saying for "pornographic image"

[@TheAutisticKeybladeWielder]

but crow is right. the pornograph created pornography

[@NastyLittleBagginses]

1:09:31 is an imitation of Max Cady (Robert DeNiro) from the 1991 remake of Cape Fear.