My 15 Year Old Daughter Peppers Me with Lots of Hard Questions about the Bible & Christianity

Okay, so this is a different sort of podcast episode. Here’s the backstory. My third daughter, Josie, is an Enneagram 5 and always has LISTS (like, very long lists) of questions about the Bible, God, Christianity, and Religion. And they are always very difficult and thoughtful questions. So, every couple of weeks, we have this tradition where we’ll go out to chips and salsa and work through her questions. One day, I suggested: “hey, we should record this on the podcast?!” And she said, “Um, no?!” But then she thought about it and said she’d be willing to consider this, and then she said she’d love to be on the podcast to talk through her questions. So that’s what this podcast is. Honestly, it’s a pretty raw and real and intimate family moment where my 15 year old daughter and I talk about the Bible.
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[@dbrownaz]

29:30 - a picture of generations… Bible on a screen; Bible on paper

[@daveflanagan4213]

I’m just impressed any 15 year old pulls a question out of 1 Samuel 15!!

[@jramos411]

This was awesome; a great example of how we should have these types of open conversations with our kids. I loved that she asked difficult questions and you allowed her to agree to disagree. It'd be fun to have these every few months lol.

[@daveflanagan4213]

What a fabulous interaction. Well done big Sprinkles: Josie is a real credit to you both. An intelligent daughter hungry and thirsty for truth in an untruthful world.

[@jillg9471]

So important to have an example of what it looks like to talk to our kids through hard questions. I always feel like I'm doing it wrong but my conversations with my kids sound a lot like this. Very encouraging to see how you do it and it's not so different. Very honest and real. Thank you!

[@amandastapp9667]

I am more than a decade older than your daughter but I am new to the faith and think her questions are magnificent. Thank you.

[@JayFalcon-y9m]

I wish Josie was in my youth group, so thoughtful.

[@scottranck2225]

wow, your daughter is really sharp! I love her thinking. Your interactions are really fun to watch! Bravo to you both and your wife.

[@bobnapril94]

Wow, so much emotion watching this, and so many ways I want to respond! First of all, what a beautiful thing to not only have a safe, open and honest discussion with your teenage daughter but to allow us all to be a part of it. Thank you and I thank God for you that you did this video and I hope others take to heart how IMPORTANT it is to have discussions like this with your teen. Double Kudos on the great example!!!! I did want to throw something out there for you to wrestle with. When I had discussion like this with my teens one of the questions that was always a part of the discussion was " Why do you think you are asking this?". We all struggle with a flesh nature that wrestles and wars against the things of God. It is not only incredibly helpful for you to help your daughter wrestle with these difficult questions but also to guide and help her to know how to wrestle with herself. One of the easiest ways to illustrate this is the question on women teaching in the church that you both were working through. Great, very relevant question in todays church and secular culture, and some good things I might encourage you to include in the discussion would have been something like this... " IF what the Bible is intending to teach here is that men can do something or fulfil a role in the church that a woman cannot do or fill how does that make you feel? Why would you feel the need to question this teaching or what is going on inside of you that is resisting this? What can we learn about ourselves in our initial reaction to this passage?" The introspection and the understanding of self is the FIRST goal of these questions, and not to be quickly passed over for the "answer". The "answer" is important but not MORE important than the process of arriving at and seeking out the answer. Introspection is a VERY valuable skill especially when it comes to our hermeneutic . Another way to phrase this is, is there a lens that I could be using to view this passage, that I have either adopted from my secular culture, my church culture, or just a lens or bias that is natural and common to my sinful flesh? In the example of your daughters question, I would have loved to ask her as a follow up, is it possible that our culture has been presenting, all around us continually, a lens that says something like "equal must mean same" and you have "put those glasses on for second"? I also was so grieved so see her so quickly brush of childbirth in a something like "oh yeah there is that but I mean what else" way. Thank so so much for defending childbirth as not some lowly thing women got "stuck" with but a supremely BEAUTIFUL thing (albeit modified to be painful by the fall). I wanted so much ask her a follow up question of "Could it be that our culture has minimized how WONDERFUL motherhood and childbirth is?", and that possibly you are viewing that gift as lesser at the moment because you are using the "glasses" or the "lens" that culture has so craftily pressured you to use? I pray my "follow up questions" for your daughter are not received as any kind of attack on you or your daughter. What a wonderful and beautiful young lady, truly wrestling with the lies and pressures of an ungodly culture we live in, yet still struggling to faithfully understand her Lord and His word despite those lies and pressures. Her trust in you to hear her, not reject her yet still help her and guide her is so beautiful. When she said about predestination, " I don't have a view that is why I am asking you." Wow, currently, in the culture we live in, for a 15 year old to say that to her father is a WIN WIN WIN. What a testament to her love for Christ, her love for you, and her teachable spirit. Again, well done Dad creating an environment/relationship for this discussion and Josie PLEASE keep always asking these questions, just never forget to also include a healthy introspective question of your own questions and of yourself. Young lady you ARE A TREASURE! Seeing how your Dad was filled with such love for you made me miss my grown daughter LIKE CRAZY! :)

[@sydneykoh1884]

So good! I want my 14 & 16 year old to listen. Keep asking good questions and learning, Josie!

[@scootervantil]

Dr Michael Heiser did a whole episode of his podcast on the subject of whether pure honesty is always preferred, and this Samuel example, along with Rahab, the Egyptian midwives, and God allowing a lying spirit to come to King Ahab are all examples of this not being the case. He discusses that Even “do not bear false witness” Is really only specific to providing legal testimony. It’s also his opinion that lying to spare someone’s feelings isn’t necessarily bad either but I don’t remember if he really had scripture to back that one up. It’s been a minute since I listened to it.

[@paulbrandel5980]

Yes a lie can be a good thing Like Christians lying to the Gestapo when protecting the Jews

[@janethorsman194]

She’s so adorable!

[@appeal]

Great show! Loved the genuine questioins and answers. Thanks

[@kkm0202]

Loved this! Thank you Josie for doing this. I love your heart and your thinking around the questions you ask. I personally was challenged by your question and thinking around God’s love and sin. I think as humans we tend to separate love and justice but God is both loving and just at the same time. Matthew 5:43-44 CSB "You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. [44] But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,…

[@gskeator]

Oh, Preston...I don't like your "God likes me more than he likes sinners"/"limited love of God" concept there. Josie was on to you! I feel like she inherently get's it. Where did you come up with that idea? Thank heaven that your sweet daughter knows how to push back. I am going to joing your Patreon just so that I can dialogue about this!

[@FellishBeast]

Yeah, he was comparing the non-believers to a stranger who hit his daughter. The true comparison would be one of his children harming another. You love both children equally, but disapprove of the violent one's actions.

[@Melrosearch7]

Love you guys!! 💜

[@M-JACOY]

I don't think Rahab was lauded for her lie, but rather, for receiving the messengers in faith. Great video! Would love another one if Josie is up for it.

[@dbrownaz]

Re: lies~ Good question. Maybe things are not quite as black and white as we wish. But love and wisdom always rule.

[@paulajames6149]

I have a 14 yr daughter. We rotate discussions as a family. We def need to bring the Bible in more.

[@justmorenoise]

I want to see Tank! Great name. 😊

[@trevorb1126]

Commented and smashed the like 😂

[@daveflanagan4213]

Me believes that when David picked up his Lyre played and the tormenting spirits left Saul. Not power in the music as such but more likely that David’s playing was annointed by God as he exercised that specific gift within him. Saul could have called on any musician presumably but each time we can read he called in David as Saul equated his playing as when his tormenting spirits left him

[@bnjmnwst]

I think Josie is correct about God's love, in the 2nd question. Consequences for one's actions are a result of the law of God, not a lack of love on his part. His goodness & rightness require consequences, but I certainly believe that He is pained by it, no matter what we've done. Hitler did evil, but that's because he was misled, possesed by bad ideas & strayed from God's purpose for him. That's difficult for a human who knows anything about Hitler to say, but we are not God. He is better than we are.

[@lindamash4392]

About the question of how God loves.... I've heard it in a way that makes so much more sense(from Steve Gregg). The Bible says in places that God actually hates people but the hate should be compared to the opposite of "like",not love. Like is a feeling, an emotion. God does not "like" people who are living in sin and hurting others and who are against him but he still "loves" them. On a human level, you might not like some one(hate their actions, do not enjoy being with rhem ect.) But still love them. Such as a family member. You might not like them but you would still sacrifice for them and treat them well because you have made the choice to love and forgive and you would not want bad things to happen to them out of revenge but you don't like them. Do not enjoy being with them ect. You would wish for them to change their ways When people follow and obey God, he loves them AND likes them and "favors" them and loves fellowship with them unlike people who don't. Hope that makes sense.

[@dbrownaz]

Is the highest expression of authority humility? (Phil 2)

[@daveflanagan4213]

That’s a very human perspective saying or even implying Hitler’s ‘sin’ is greater than anyone else’s because it is particularly heinous. That diminishes the seriousness of any ‘sin’ in our lives with the more progressive line of ah well Gods live covers us. Yes it does but no, Christs death was because we are all unworthy not just Hitler. Josie wins in that debate! Preston sit down.

[@tammiej9450]

For God so loved the WORLD……while we were sinners Christ died for us (every human he created)!!!!!

[@dbrownaz]

Preston, of Josie continues to be interested in spiritual things and theology, would you want her in a church that gives her freedom to express her gifts and calling?

[@IosifStalin2]

Theology...A Spirited Discussion between Two Fifteen year olds. There!! A farmer in Botswana can do no better or worse.

[@tysonmatthews4514]

I’ve always struggled with the idea of choosing the lesser of two evils. The notion of having to choose evil has always seemed off. But what if it were framed differently? What if instead of choosing the lesser of two evils, we chose the greater of two goods? Like in the case of Samuel, the two possible goods were 1) being honest and 2) (presumably obeying God by) helping preserve the life of the one (David) who would lead to THE One (Jesus). Preserving David’s life is clearly the greater good over being honest to a murderous, jealous king. Being in obedient submission to God, though, seems to always be the greatest good. Idk. Just a thought! Going forward, I think I will choose the greater of two goods, rather than the lesser of two evils. (Probably just semantics, though 😅)

[@dbrownaz]

Out of the mouths of babes??!!

[@elishevafeldman3833]

If someone asks if people who commit suicide, go to heaven- answering yes, could make them think that suicide is the ticket out and to heaven. Please add something beyond theology- say that anyone suicidal should ask for help, love, hope... I hope this lead to a deeper discussion off camera...

[@patrickbarnes9874]

For the most part, there was no such thing as an atheist in the bronze age. The Bible isn't going to address that. You'll need to consider atheism a faith itself and then follow the instructions for how to interact with people of different faiths. 43:20 This bothers me. I can't even count how many times I've seen versions of people upset at the Bible telling women to obey their husbands. You know what I've never even once seen anybody complain about or question? The fact that the Bible tells men to love their wives "as Christ loved the church." In other words, devote your life to serving your wife and die for her. It's a sad comment on our society that we accept without question the notion that husbands should lay down their lives for their wives but when it comes to a wife letting her husband be the head of the family, that's totally unacceptable.

[@radscorpion8]

Atheism is simply not a faith, I don't know how Christians are so confused on the topic - no offense. If you look up the definition on google, it plainly states "a lack of a belief in a God or Gods". That can in no way be interpreted as faith, which is in turn defined as a belief in a God, largely without any supporting evidence.

[@elishevafeldman3833]

1) How many men are pressured to lay down their lives for their wives? Vs How many women are pressured to obey their hysbands? 2) How likely are they to need to die for their wives? 3) leadership isn't for everybody and you shouldn't demand it... There are a few people who make people want to follow them... Otherwise you aren't a leader, you are a tyrant...

[@elishevafeldman3833]

1) How many men are pressured to lay down their lives for their wives? Vs How many women are pressured to ovey their hysbands? 2) How likely are they to need to die for their wives? 3) leadership isn't for everybody and you shouldn't demand it... There are a few people who make people want to follow them...

[@radscorpion8]

I kind of agree with your daughter about everything and would highly recommend atheism no offense. Because it seems like you have to jump through SO many torturous intellectual hoops to make sense of things in the bible. Like at 18:00 when she said in the bible that women should be treated equally to men, but there are some things women can't do in the church. That's a very valid contradiction. And although you try to get around it by saying that a leadership role in the church doesn't necessarily make a man better than a woman - still, if men are equal to women, then *why* can't a woman take that role? If only men are fit to take leadership roles, then doesn't that imply a very clear inequality in their capabilities? So then why wouldn't the bible make that exception understood - when it says men and women are equal except for their leadership abilities? And it just seems like you're really stretching here anyway. I mean if someone said Christians males are equal to all other men, except they aren't allowed to take leadership positions in government, how would you feel? How could that possibly be viewed as an equal relationship? What about women not being equal but not allowed to vote? There is just no world in which these positions don't contradict each other, and if it applied to you I'm sure you'd be just as upset about the arbitrary restriction against playing a role in an institution that literally has all the power and defines your collective future. It is obscene to say we are all equal, but only I am allowed to hold power and get elected. Your daughter made a fabulous point, but she won't press you as she cares deeply for you and probably wouldn't want to anger you too much :P. Rather than struggling so hard to defend the bible...it seems to me like you just have to admit that it is a faulty document, and that it is almost certainly man-made. That is overwhelmingly and logically the most reasonable option here. But religion makes it impossible to simply admit where it is probably wrong, because it also claims that the bible is the word of God and is supposed to be infallible. So it basically makes you completely impervious to reasoning! Like no matter what your daughter says, no matter what contradiction she comes up with, I have no doubt you would continue thinking the bible is the word of God and that it is absolutely true. If you just say "that's a good one, i have to think about it" and you never get back to it, it means your mind is shut down completely. You just have these programmed beliefs, and that's it. But its such a sad, profoundly disturbing state of affairs. Its as if you were a sheep, and you are just being guided into a pen. Its like you have no free will anymore, no ability to reason for yourself...its just about following the bible, no matter what it says, no matter what the contradiction is, no matter whether you have an answer to a contradiction or you need to think about it...no matter what happens, you keep following the bible. The brain in many respects is basically dead at that point. And you consented to its death Well I wish you all the best anyway, and I hope your daughter (no offense to you) is more open minded about leaving the faith and finding her way in the world as a secular humanist, like many of us atheists :). She seem very bright to be asking these questions. I hope she recognizes that there are no good answers.

[@elishevafeldman3833]

You can stop believing in Christianity without being an atheist...

[@heath5475]

Calvinists!!!

[@t0nyr4m0s]

Righteous lie 😂

[@elishevafeldman3833]

I hope your daughter doesn't think that you or God will love her less, if she stops believing... Because that is what you implied when you said that God loves believed more... I also hope you know, you aren't God. Even though you believe God became a human, you still shouldn't compare yourself as a father, to God. Are you saying no believer does evil things like Hitler? Did you just compare non believers and Hitler? Is that because lack of faith is one of the worse sins? It sounds like you think deeds are what makes God love humans, so why do you feel a need for Jesus? I take it you don't believecin saith alone...

[@jchen2873]

Preston failed!