My 6 Game Night Rules and 10 Gaming Preferences

[@supermegavega]

I have one house game rule that my gaming circle asked me to implement for game nights. They asked that we only play ONE NEW GAME PER GAME NIGHT. I started to throw new game after new game at my people (I'm the one who buys all the games and teaches them to the group) and they were getting mentally wore out learning 2 to 3 new games every game night. So we usually play 1 new game at the beginning of the night, and then move on to our favorites that we already know. The whole group is happy with this setup.

[@MartinGregersen]

Same thing for me. I just love trying new games...

[@benediktflentge8444]

Haha, the exact same thing happened to me! But I got lucky. Although I totally agreed on the rule, in the game nights since then no one ever insisited on that rule or even mentioned it again. I usually pick two or three new games and tell them, "We can play either one of those" and often we end up playing them all.

[@jfren484b]

Can I be your friend? I love playing new games (and frequently I realize one time was enough for a particular game), and I sometimes have the opposite scenario at game night: "guys, we play *every* game night, and I have this new game I bought 3 months ago but no one wants to try!"

[@BossTweed4455]

My gaming motto overall is: "Love to lose, because it means you played." I know people don't like to lose, but unless there is actually something on the line, a la Bill and Ted, modern board games are usually VERY entertaining and I find that (especially with many Stonemaier games) diving head first into the theme of the game and letting the beauty of the mechanics guide your play and perhaps even your strategy will reward you as a player. I have seen far too many people who loved the mechanics of a game and even the theme simply lose, possibly by a close margin, and suddenly feel as though they have had a devastating time overall. I know it's counterintuitive within a hobby like gaming where there are implicitly winners and losers to assume people don't want to win, but the games themselves are SO MUCH FUN to play throughout that the end result shouldn't dictate your experience (unless you're Bill and Ted).

[@SusanPDavis]

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[@miketrotzke2425]

Our house rules for games: 1. No finger off the piece rule. You may take back an action as long as no meaningful information has been gained. 2. Max 5 minute rule searching. If there is uncertainty about a rule and a resolution can not be found within 5 minutes, majority rules (ties broken by the host). 3. Pokey turn timers. If a turn is taking too long , a timer (of approximate game length divided by typical number of turns) may be called for by any player. 4. Finish what you start. We typically finish games. Players should be aware of this before starting a game. 5. Die on table. If a die is rolled off the table it is re-rolled on the table. 6. Avoid king making. If possible, you should make plays to optimize your own score (even in a loss). 7. You break it. You fix it. Drink, eat and be merry, but if you damage anything, have the courtesy to replace it. 8. Maximize the fun of others. No matter if you are winning or losing, play with a focus on others having fun. 9. Stay engaged. Keeping your attention during the game on the game. It’s a magic circle, yo. 10. Appreciate the teacher. Listen to the explanation and save questions until the end. Ultimately, you are responsible for the rules. Teachers are doing you a favor with every rule they teach. 11. Teach games. If you know how to play a game, step up and teach others. 12. Allow autonomy. Don’t touch other player's pieces or tell them how to play their turn. 13. Learning game. When playing a new game, understand that it will be played incorrectly and you will likely lose. 0. Host rules The host reserves the right to add to or suspend these rules. The only immutable right of the player is to play somewhere else.

[@vinterskugge907]

"You may take back an action as long as no meaningful information has been gained." This is in particular a good rule for coop games, where the temptation is stronger to redo actions than in competitive games because doing so does not directly hurt anyone playing. We used this for Pandemic Legacy and now for Gloomhaven. As long as we have not gotten any new information from the game, which typically means seeing any new cards, we can go back and redo anything since the last time we got new information. But once we do see a new card, it is too late - even if this new information clearly would not have impacted the decision that someone wants to redo.

[@sharonl649]

Love # 10!

[@mydemon]

Very nice!

[@whyRedshoes]

Literally in our vows Dan and I promised to always be the biggest rival for each other in board games. We have agreed that our relationship suspends while board games are going on. 😂

[@jameystegmaier]

Brilliant!

[@susansiragusa-ortman3108]

That’s great. One point that Jaime was saying in the video. I love it when my Sister and Brother-in-law are here playing, but I do find that they give each other total preference in games, so when I do win it is definitely even more sweet 😉😄

[@droosp]

You are such a positive person. .it is such a pleasure to watch you. Thank you for your time and your content that you share with us.

[@jameystegmaier]

Thank you so much, Peter! :)

[@arturthekingg]

Watching this and thinking, what an immense honor it must be to be invited for a gaming session at mr. Stegmaier's house!

[@kimmosorsamo2207]

Great points in the video, Jamey! Being a good loser is a valuable skill, because in the worst case loser may ruin the whole experience of others.

[@kennethchrzanowski6165]

No drinks on the game table....some things can't be replaced. Please help bag meeples and sort cards when the game is done, but who ever owns the game should box the game. I always try to give a heads-up about any new game we plan on bringing out so that anyone who wants to "Watch it Played" has the chance. I always like it when guests are looking forward enough to prep for gamenight. I know they will be involved and immersed. They also usually ask the right questions while the rules are rolled out which is helpful for everyone.

[@JerNo415]

Rule #1: Have fun!

[@specterkom]

If someone is not nice to the cats, for no reason, they should be automatically banned from game night. Just my two cents lol.

[@markusbiewer2756]

Permanently!

[@GamingIndoors]

Congratz on the condo! I love the idea of this video. Love rule 6! A couple of rules from me: " similar to your rule 4 "it's just a game - enjoy, have fun and don't get too personal" We hate it when people get super competitive and try sapping the joy out of the night! Sometimes we have partners who decide that this game isn't for them: in which case, my other rule: " if you are not in the game - you are not in the game don't start jumping in taking sides or peoples goes or worse... dropping hints!!!

[@khornschemeier]

Similar to your last preference about giving someone else credit for winning, one thing I'm really proud that we've done with our kids is making it a point not to rub it in other people's faces when we win, and always congratulating the winner for a good game. Our kids care more about the experience of playing and trying to do better each time, and never have trouble losing.

[@jameystegmaier]

I like that approach to parenting!

[@gabrielaenriquezderiverade2489]

Hi Jamey, I am enjoying (and learning) from all your comments and ideas. About your night rules, (I agree with all of them), I am allowing myself to mention what we do: When we are invited to play, we always bring snacks and some wine to celebrate at the end for the nice time and also celebrate the winner. When we play at home, we also have aside tables so our guests can lay their glasses there, some napkins since the usual snacks are kind of grease, but also, before we play for the first time, I laminate all the cards so I am not suffering for the guest that is taking the cards with greasy hands (it takes time to laminate and cut but it is worth to do it). Since my husband and I do not work anymore, we have plenty of time to play, so at our game room we have always 2 games (one is the one that maybe could not be finished with our son and his family because it was getting too late and another one on the other side for a "game for 2" - right now on the table are Mariposas -for we two, and Scythe which we are still trying to learn thanks to our grandson who understood perfectly all the rules and is helping us to learn it. And by the way, Scythe has become a challenge for us since we find this game the most difficult game we have ever played and one day we are going to dominate it!). When I play with my husband, we make "best of 7 tournaments". So once one of us has reached 7 won games, we change the game for another tournament. Ah and 5 thumbs up for the great metal coins for Scythe and Viticulture. It feels very different to play with them. Say hello to Megan and to your 2 cats

[@jameystegmaier]

Thanks for sharing your game night generosity! I look forward to hearing who wins the best-of-7 Scythe tournament. :)

[@gabrielaenriquezderiverade2489]

@@jameystegmaier sure! We are still learning with our 13 year old grandson, when he has the time, how to understand all the different types of movements but we will achieve it no matter if it takes sometime. Thanks and greetings

[@AWarner1690]

A pet peeve of mine is when someone, after first learning the game, impatiently and rudely say, “Well, I don’t know what I’m doing, so… *does random move*.” Like, I just spent so much time and effort teaching you rules in the best way I know how, and you already start off the evening awkwardly? Great list, Jamey! Respect the cats!

[@nihlify]

While that can be annoying it's also how some people learn a game. Lots of games is hard to take in from an explanation so you just pick and action and see what happens and with more play you see the strategy emerging.

[@AWarner1690]

@@nihlify Sure, but it’s just rude and breaks the fun nature of the game. You don’t need to bring down the atmosphere, especially when someone just put in an effort to teach you the rules.

[@philipsams2185]

Establishing a cut off time up front can be helpful to avoid conflicts when someone really needs to leave later.

[@cameronart4863]

It's unfortunate that some of those rules ever even need to be stated! Most of those things seem like they should just be unspoken, understood rules when in other's homes.

[@user-fe7rz4ll8q]

Thanks. Most of them are the same for me, but not the "learning game" one. In my experience, most games nowadays get played only once by most people unfortunately, since there is always a backlog of other unplayed new games that have to be tried out next. If people are going to play the game only once, you need to make sure that they know the rules beforehand. Otherwise, it's not a strategic experience. My number one rule would be: respect the teacher of the game, listen to the whole explanation, save questions until the end. They took the trouble of learning the game for the people who didn't. DON'T interrupt by saying "let's just start and see as we go", since probably at that point, essential rules needed to even play the game at all haven't been explained yet. Plus, the very same people who say this will usually complain if in the middle of the game, it turns out that they can't do something which they thought they could, and say "you didn't explain that!" About the suggestion of thanking the person who taught the game: very nice, but keep dreaming probably, I've never seen this happen, has anyone? My other essential rule would be: never quit before the end. If you know you might have to leave before a certain time, notify the others IN ADVANCE. They can then estimate whether it's sure that the game will finish before that time, or else propose a shorter game, or advise you not to come. It's staggering how many people actually think it's acceptable to just leave an unfinished game because they personally think "we had fun, so it doesn't matter", not realising that for others, it ruins the whole experience.

[@jameystegmaier]

Thanks for sharing your perspective! I absolutely agree with respecting the teacher (and never quitting before the end). However, I think the teacher also needs to respect the time and learning styles of the players. For example, a teacher could sit down and spend 30 minutes explaining every rule in the game before allowing players to take a single turn, all while the players are overloaded with information they don't need to know yet. Or a teacher can recognize that players are going to consume the information better if a few essential things are explained and then help players take their first few turns while unraveling other rules. If a teacher doesn't respect the players in that way, I think it's fair for a player to politely and respectfully suggest that they take a turn and proceed from there.

[@user-fe7rz4ll8q]

Also true! So should partially depend on the situation, people's preferences, complexity of the game, etc

[@JackieFox1976]

Oh, I should add that if you're going to teach, be prepared and make sure that if you haven't played in a while, you review first.

[@jfren484b]

My rule, when we're playing one of my games, anyway, is no dirty hands touching my components! If you're eating cheetos or doritos, fine, but make sure you have a napkin and wipe your fingers before picking up the cards/tokens!

[@rickadam6051]

Great late video Mr. Stegmaier! I agree with pretty much all of them, but I did just have a talk with my game group the other night that if it means being able to play one more game, I have no problem putting up the last game we play after everyone has to leave. When we're trying to decide if we'll do one more before my friends head out, and someone says something like "Set up will be about 5-10 mnutes, 45 minute game, 10 minutes for tear down" no no, don't worry about putting everything away if that ten minutes is enough to make you not want to play, I got that part covered. This is biggest with Gloomhaven. Gloomhaven takes a bit to put away, but my friend going through the campaign with me usually works pretty early, so after a few missions when he's deciding if he'll do one more or not, I remind him I'll gladly put the game up so he can get home earlier. The cell phone thing and drinks on the game table are probably my two biggest "please don't do that!" requests.

[@OmegaDeathBunny]

Great Video. Even if I don't subcribe to every of your rules, I wholeheartedly agree to having rules for your game night. - I would point out when a game is irreplaceable or hard to replace and ask people to abstain from greasy snacks and keep drinks of the table for those - Knizia's Law: The goal must be to win, but it is the goal that's important, not the winning. Always play your best, even if you don't have a chance to win or don't like the game. - Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick!

[@seanmcdonald737]

So a thorough job of laying out the responsibilities of the guests. I am curious what you think about the responsibilities of the host.

[@Punko1969]

To enforce the game night rules, of course:P

[@philipsams2185]

I always like to suggest the "at least one foot on the floor at all times" rule at game nights.

[@freierfieserfriese]

Now I'm curious: Do you have a reason (perhaps with a funny story) for this rule?

[@littlezimty]

I always ask before opening something or finishing something it's just polite! Also always thank the person who taught me the game because I know their preference would have been to sit down with a table that knew how to play. Not saying they can't have fun teaching and helping someone experience a new game of course.

[@madisonbelanger3560]

I think an unspoken rule in my group is no phone for social media. We all have kids so no one is turning their phones off in case of emergency but no one is every browsing facebook or instagram during a game either. We haven't really needed to make any official rules.

[@naadirjoseph9972]

Aw man! I actually miss the old background :)! Enjoy the move. Hope the new space helps with new ideas and your creativity.

[@GourmetBurrito]

I totally agree with the preference for people playing competitive games competitively (with some exceptions like to explore the decision spaces with a friend and try strategies we might not think are optimal, but that should probably be talked about beforehand). But I'll admit, I feel kind of weird when I win. I've become the board game guy in my friend group so I own the games and so it feels a little weird to win games. Thank goodness I'm not super good at games so even with the home advantage it doesn't get too much. But, especially if someone is new to a game, I wonder how to balance teaching the rules and letting them puzzle out the strategies for themselves (which I think is part of the game), not overloading them with too much information, and the unfairness of me being a little more familiar with a game

[@nihlify]

I usually give them a couple of options without putting too much value in either. That way you steer them in the right direction while still allowing them to make their own choice. Or ask them what they like to do (go for a lot of conflict, economy or whatever) and give them a few pointers in that direction.

[@naadirjoseph9972]

I really wish more people would help with setup and clean up if they have the time. Help out. It is an amazing time for downtime game chat where all of us could talk about what happened in the game. It is a great segue to the next game. I also love being new at the game because I love learning :). I become more engaged than normal. Also, I enjoy teaching a game to new players, answering their questions and just watching their decisions and look at how they overcome obstacles in game.

[@Punko1969]

Clean up agree with, but expecting someone to help set up a game they aren't familiar with could end up taking longer than setting it up myself.

[@Davearmstrong42]

Fantastic rules! Because we run sooo many game groups and conventions, we have some rules very similar to yours. It really boils down to one global rule... 'Your job when playing any game is to make sure you are providing as much fun for those you are gaming with as is humanly possible.'

[@craftyflutterbycreations4254]

Another acceptable phone use exception is logging plays on bgg or other app between games. If it's a long game night with several games it's hard to remember it all at the end of the night.

[@Breyfunk]

I think your rules and preferences are solid, although I will say that my group is guilty of phone use. I agree, it does bog a game down if someone isn’t paying attention, however I am torn because sometimes a person simply needs to take a call/answer a text. My only rule that isn’t on your list: I have two very small children (one is 3 years, the other 8 months old). These little men sometimes require me to step outside of the game, and I will absolutely do that when needed. We host at our house, simply because it is the best equipped for our kiddos. At any rate, your game nights sound quite enjoyable. You sound like a wonderful host!

[@nihlify]

I mean, it's ok if they have the phone on them, I think his point was more sitting there scrolling through social media or whatever. Big difference.

[@rootbeer6634]

I am usually very emotionally invested in every game I have I love the designer, theme, art, etc. I absolutely hate when I'm teaching someone a new game and they constantly say "well this game is okay, but this other game is way better. It hurts my feelings and kindof just makes me want to be like alright go home and play it by yourself then. Basically i only want to talk about the game on the table. The exception is if I can draw similarities from games I know they have played to help them understand the rules better.

[@nihlify]

My own self-imposed rule is if I invite people to play, especially when I know the game and will teach others, I'll do my best to not roll over other players. Not necessarily losing on purpose but picking strategies I don't know or are hard to execute or just make quick decisions to keep the game close and exiting and not give the others a bad first experience of a game. If we end up playing more the gloves are off though ;) As for phone use I'll allow it for looking up rules and such. As for the significant other preference, that have been an "issue" in some of my groups. One of my male friend's wife got SUPER annoyed any time he'd attack her or do anything against her in the game. Was part funny part annoying. As for the clean-up I kinda disagree, I much prefer to do it myself if I'm at home. If we're at a "neutral" location I agree though.

[@dg7815]

One of the rules I keep in my back pocket: No personal politics or religion at the game table. The politics and religions in the theme of the games themselves can be fair game though.

[@nihlify]

Another pet peeve is people taking advantage of other players not knowing rules. Had that happen in Scythe where one player knew the other wasn't really understanding the combat aspect but instead of explaining decided to proceed with the combat to take advantage. He probably still would have won but not necessarily.

[@jameystegmaier]

I agree, that's not good gaming behavior!

[@fukhewdik]

Often we are so focused on the games themselves we forget to delve into and talk about all of the spaces where this happens and the processes by which people learn and interact while playing. The parts about having people listen during the instructional part resonated, but I would add that I like to leave the instructions close by so that anyone who has a question, while it's not their turn, can reference them themselves too. AP is definitely a fun killer, and I'm glad you brought up the topic here. I love strategy games, but sometimes with larger groups and players that take a while on their turn, it can lead to a TON of downtime in a 6-player or more game. When this happens to people at my table, I find myself just wanting the experience to end because I've lost interest in waiting. I would love to hear your tips or suggestions into urging people to be more concise with their decisions while also not just poking them and shouting "hurry up" lol. I don't know if it helps because I've only used the strategy once, but I just left a sand timer at the table and when someone has taken a bit, I won't even say anything, but I'll just turn the timer over. (hoping that they get the subtle queue.) but otherwise, I'm not sure what you do to combat this when it's not yourself having the AP moment.

[@MartinGregersen]

We have very few house rules. The two strict ones are 1. If one die or more dice, in a roll is skewed, then reroll all. This keeps us from many discussions. 2. If we start a game with a wrong interpretation or misunderstanding of a rule, it stays till the end (unless we catch it before anyone gets an advantage) I would love to be able to enforce the no phone rule, but that is not possible with my group. Also agree on the emergence part.

[@Derek-jg9vv]

Haha wow, I totally get the "eating the last of _____" rule. Growing up I would always look forward to eating my portion of the shared family treat(s) (doughnuts, cake, brownies, etc.) and was often upset when someone else ate it because they didn't know I was still wanting to eat it. Also, thanks for the enjoyable video!

[@MiniBen1]

As the host of a lot of game nights, I only take my phone out to make sure that everyone who's coming and has questions (like directions sometimes) can be answered. I always tell the people at the table that is the only reason I have the phone out during the game. Otherwise, I only have the phone out before and after the game to log the play.

[@mkitten13]

I have to say I don't really make many rules at my game nights, it's mostly just the one and the rest are merely preferences for me. My one rule, and this one is really important for me: No open containers on the actual gaming table. This is just as much for the other players as it is me, as if someone ruins something in a game due to spilling their drink, I do expect them to replace it. I have had a past experience where a non-sugary soda went all over a game board, thankfully the coating of the board prevented it from absorbing any of it and had zero stains afterwards, but I use that incident as an example as to why I will not allow open containers on the actual table. I don't specifically make it a rule, but it goes without saying that I expect the people that come over to be nice to my cat (thankfully she is always friendly, so never an issue) and the other players. Not had an issue there yet, and I doubt I will, but if anyone were to be rude/unpleasant, I would ask them to leave and not invite them back. Simple as that. As for my preferences, I do prefer that people mainly stay off their phones unless it's gaming (I'm more lenient there as I think it's also fine to register the play, look up rules for us if we are uncertain of something in addition to taking pictures) or emergency related. If they can still manage to plan their turns, then I'm more lenient about it, but I agree that it's really annoying if people just do not pay attention. Like be present at the game if you plan to play with us. I agree with preferring people to do their best regardless of whether it means they win or not. A more important thing for me is that people don't start to kingmake someone else if they cannot win themselves, that just ruins the experience for the rest. I generally just involve the other players in setting up/cleaning up the games, like giving them a deck to shuffle and inform them what do do afterwards or give someone else some tiles to sort and set up, etc. Not had anyone complain or refuse to do anything yet, lol. So agree with the whole paying attention when learning a game. It bugs me if I have to regain someone's attention when I'm explaining. One for me personally is that I do not particularly care for mean tactics in games, so I'm very particular in what I feel is and isn't alright in a game. Like I'm fine with denying someone that building or action that is especially good for them since it's good strategy, I'm fine with stealing as it does something for you taking the action, but destructive actions like forcing someone to lose something without gaining you a thing, I do not care for that one bit and I generally avoid those actions in the game myself. If I play with someone who deliberately take those kinds of strategies I'm generally gonna avoid playing with them again as I feel they get their joy from ruining someone else's fun. They are better matched with more like-minded players.

[@mcchopstick5331]

No tableflips and no complaining.

[@tttopolis]

Great video, will be adopting most of these myself. Couples teaming up is pretty lame for everyone else.

[@JackieFox1976]

My rules are very similar to yours: 1. The cat rules. 2. No cell phones unless you've got a potential emergency or are looking up a rule. 3. Be causual. If someone wants to unwind a move and it doesn't require other people doing so, let them do it. 4. Yes, please keep your drinks away from my games. Accidents happen (no big deal), but accident mitigation is appreciated. 5. I really prefer that people not engage in side conversations when it's someone else's turn. Light social conversation that includes everyone is fine, but two people talking loudly about football when other people are concentrating on their play is not cool. 6. Last rule -- shoes off in my house. My cat walks on that floor (as do I, but see rule 1).

[@markoreilly4433]

Couldn't agree more with the 6 rules Jamey, they are all mustard. My number 1 pet hate is people messing around on their phone at the game table, it indicates disrespect and simply bad manners. Taking photo's is cool though and you hit the nail on the head as to why it is ok to take photos - your head space is still actively "in the game". The wash hands after eating food : I once hosted playing a very expensive game of mine and a guy playing pulled out a lunch box with sticky chicken legs and wings in it to eat at the table while he was gaming!. Some people just do not have the same values , so rules are absolutely necessary. One bone of contention at our game club is that there is never any forward planning over what games are going to be played and I find it a bit clumsy and awkward, you get guys lugging around giant gaming bags with tons of heavy games in and rarely play even one out the bag. I personally like a bit of organisation and would much prefer a fair system , possibly were attendees take in turns nominating a couple of games for people to vote on. Drinks on the games table is just asking for trouble and a rule I stick to . Brilliant set of rules and desired gaming conditions, I think most of us have experienced all those conditions at some time or other. 😀

[@susansiragusa-ortman3108]

Ack! *gasp in horror. Chicken wings during a game… I hope you had a good talking to with this person!

[@hoolio197900]

one has to wonder, who teaches common sense? Most of these should be unspoken but you are absolutely right that some have been raised to have zero understanding

[@kaseyschertenleib]

My gaming group has a lot of dads with younger kids, so my cell phone exception is for wives calling or texting. It's important for future game night attendance. :)

[@jfren484b]

Yep, was going to say this. I get annoyed by the guy in our group who plays Clash of Clans (or other mobile games) in between turns, and then doesn't realize when his turn comes up. It doesn't help when he wins the game, either. But most of us in the group have families, so we might need to answer questions from our wives or kids from time to time.

[@StevenStJohn-kj9eb]

WRT your preference 10, this is something I've learned playing pick up basketball. The thing about pick up basketball is that although you are on a team, you are usually playing man-to-man defense - that is, you are responsible for guarding one person on the other team. It is very easy to keep an internal score - I've scored 3, but the guy I'm guarding has scored 5. This can create the usual sort of ego-based bad blood. What I've found is you let all the air out of that balloon by saying "great move" or "great block" to the other guy. I find I play better when I'm not trash talking but am actually commending my foe. I still keep the internal score and try to make sure I at least break even, but the pursuit of that ends up being much more enjoyable. Great list and topic.

[@cmpruiett]

#1 Rule.....If you had fun, you won!

[@PaciciKume]

My only rule is don't put drinks on the table with a game 😁 Too many people (including me) spill over their drinks over games and many of games in my collection are hard to replace

[@mystic839]

my experience with players and their SO's is not that they save or protect them, but instead are ruthless towards them and target them first!

[@mkrool]

i kinda agree with ur point about losing can be more fun than winning especially if its a truly spectacular loss. i have definitely had more laughs when things are going badly lol

[@themesswascurly1]

It’s becoming a preference that we listen to music that fits the theme. I made a ambient sounding ethereal playlist for space themed games-medieval for Dominion and such. We even had an Italian dinner playlist during Viticulture. A personal favorite lately was just crickets/outdoors sounds from a sound/sleep app during PARKS.

[@bobknip]

We only do this with bird and nature sounds during Wingspan (and not even every time). Actual music is often a bit distracting - at very different levels to different players. I do agree that it adds to the atmosphere.

[@matthewfrederick8789]

I very much appreciate this idea and love the idea of making the game more immersive. Unfortunately I also have pretty severe ADD and things like background music can make playing much more difficult. Some part of my brain is consistently pulled out of the game experience because it’s trying to hear the music, interpret the sounds, listen for rhythms, etc. As such background music can make things worse rather than better.

[@dark-folklore]

So... Are you saying that if a consumer spills something on a game, then the manufactures should replace the damaged goods for free?

[@nihlify]

I'd be more than happy to pay for spare parts, but many publishers don't offer that.

[@codysimonsen9885]

Really loved the comments around being compassionate in losing rather than, "Well you won largely because of luck!" kind of comments. Do you have a top 10 ways to be a good loser/good winner or to win/lose with dignity, respect, and fun?

[@jameystegmaier]

I like that! I don't have a list of that yet. I'll think about it. :)

[@n.talbert]

A couple came to one of our game nights and we played werewolf. At the end of the game they had a huge fight over one telling the other, "I promise I'm not a werewolf" when they were..... Luckily they left and never came back.

[@noeldillabough]

I'm usually pretty fast but get AP once in a while and as soon as I recognize it I make a decision....everyone is going to be so much happier

[@caseypotthoff503]

My only rules are if you’re late you choose last. For instance if we are playing “Arcadia quest” I let people choose their whole team as they walk in the door. The later you are the less you have to choose from!

[@m00npie]

My cats are my children too, Jamey. It's okay to say it out loud. :)

[@estherchung82]

I can't imagine playing a game with a person who was nasty to my 3 "children"! And certainly they would never be invited back. I don't expect my guests to love them, but not being nasty to the host's pets seem like a common courtesy! And it goes both ways, if my children are acting out, then they get put in their room so aren't bothering my guests :)

[@benlauson555]

My cats are my children too, my kids hate that but hopefully one day they will understand, not sure if my cats understand either.

[@peterburgess9891]

Never sacrifice the joy of playing in pursuit of victory

[@nihlify]

I often avoid playing with people with AP, I find myself compensating by making my decisions faster instead xD Or rather I avoid playing those types of games with them

[@mrtheasley]

Rule: If you’re just not interested in playing a game, say so upfront. Then, we can pick something everyone is interested in playing instead. I want everyone to have a good time, because it’s a GAME. Preference: rejoice in others’ victories. This is similar to commending winners, but I think you can commend and not be genuine. This is something (my) young children don’t understand, but it’s an important skill in life to be able to rejoice in another’s victory after the game is done. Do you wish you’d won? Of course. But when it’s over, be happy for someone else’s cunning/strategy/success. I rarely make any mention of someone’s behavior around game night, so I doubt anyone knows these about me, but if I had to pick something these would be them.

[@philipsams2185]

There are a couple of "meta" gaming situations I find interesting... The first Jamey talked a little bit about, when you find yourself falling behind with little chance of winning in a multi-player game, what is your obligation ? Should you play to end the game as quickly as possible, play to maximize your own score without favoring anyone else too much ? try to go after the current leader ? or play a "meta" game to curry favor (or get revenge) on other players to set yourself up for a later game ? I was on a group vacation once where we played games, and one friend of mine would dedicate himself to destroying anyone who made a play against him in a game, establishing himself as a maniac, and thereby gaining an advantage in later games. ;)

[@jfren484b]

That's a tough question. I think the best possible way to play, if you want to help everyone have a good time, is to just try to do the best you can do under the circumstances. Just because the game is a loss for you doesn't mean you should make it a waste of time for the other players. That's why a) I don't like really long games and b) I kind of like games where you don't know who's going to win until the very end. You might have an inkling that you're way behind, but you don't know for sure, and sometimes you're wrong. That being said, I played a game of Cities & Knights of Catan one time where I placed my settlement first, and by the time it got back to me, there were no good (not even "meh") spots left, and I knew I was already done before the first "real" turn of the game. That game took 3 hours to play, and I think I finished the game with 4 points.

[@thediceodyssey4690]

I've had cats, dogs, birds, etc in my life and I can't believe someone would be callous towards them. Obviously I would put them away if they were seriously fussy or whatever but still. I'm normally the host for our gaming nights and I have some rules coming in: Don't be a jerk. (Goes along with your rule about being nice). Now with a regular group, sometimes people can pick at each other playfully now and again but overall keep your cool and have fun. Limited Cell phone use: Completely agree with you on this one. If you're there with us, you need to be WITH US. Obviously if there's an emergency or you wanna take a picture of the game or something, that's fine. No drinks at the table unless they have caps or tops. I've spilled things before, but always away from the game. I had someone spill a drink on top of a game of Libertalia one time, thankfully it wasn't horribly damaged. No sticky or seriously messy food around the game. Non-messy foods like pretzels or carrot sticks are fine, but if you want to have pizza or something, keep it away from the table, wash and dry your hands before coming back to touch components. Be competitive but not super competitive. We are there to have FUN, not to just WIN. I've had instances where people are so consumed with winning that they suck the fun out of the game from the rest of the group. Its okay to try to win but please remember that you don't have to minmax every choice in every game. Thankfully, it's not a huge problem in our regular group. Preferences: Many of these line up with yours actually. Great list Jamey and I appreciate you continuing to make new and interesting content.

[@cfhm3123]

The "last bite" rule is just a standard rule in my house. Don't take it unless everyone else understands you are. Since then, my spouse and I have experienced 80% fewer arguments. Jamey, how frequently do you welcome new players to your table? As in, how often do you host a game night where you've never played with at least one person at the table? It seems from this video that it's fairly frequent? 16/16 your rules make me want to play a game at your table. For lack of a better, all-encompassing term, "sportsmanship" makes a huge difference at the table. It's not about winning, it's about playing and having fun with friends.

[@jameystegmaier]

UncleLucky: I would say that we have a random person join us around once a month, with new permanent participants joining us a few times a year.

[@cloud3x3]

Congrats on the new space! Hope you're settling okay,

[@studleygamer]

Great thoughts, most of which *should* be common sense, but unfortunately aren't always. Sounds like I'd be very happy to sit in on your game night. I'm curious your thoughts about allowing people to change a move, caveats being minimal impact to other players and that player being new to the game, so just missing a rule or misunderstanding the impact.

[@kennethchrzanowski6165]

We tend to play "open" and let players change a turn, or grab the resource they missed as often as needed the first time through a game. If we've missed a rule along the way, we try to fix it, but if it is more fair to finish as we had started we're okay with that too.

[@gerbie42]

These are not rules set in stone, since we usually play with the same people, so most of them are just a given. When playing: - Be nice, have fun. - Play for fun but also to win, otherwise it takes away the competitiveness and we very much dislike kingmaking, which could happen if someone plays 'chaotically' - Phone can be there, but within reason, it shouldn't slow the game down and if you missed something someone did cause you were on your phone, it's your own fault. - Analysis Paralysis exists, it's fine, but try to limit it to one large turn near the end (which is the case with most games really) rather than multiple turns, if you have this, try to think of what to do during other player's turns. - When someone does take a bit longer during their turn, don't complain, don't annoy them. Most of all, don't chew loudly on purpose (this is my personal one - this prevents me from focusing) Regarding rules: - If we can't figure out a rule or niche situation for an important moment in the game within a 5-minute internet search, we choose the least-scoring option and keep playing. Afterwards we'll extensively search for the correct answer online and speculate who would've won if we played it wrong. - Mistakes made by the table will be solved within reason. If we made an error in the game that the rules state must happen (so not a player error, but for example we forgot a trigger mechanic that earns someone resources), we look at the impact of the current state, if it can easily be fixed we change it, otherwise we'll make do. - Takebacks are allowed if the next player didn't start their turn yet - keep it to a minimum. We don't really have 'rules' for how to treat eachother since we all know eachother. I always find it odd to hear stories about people being disrespectful or straight up mean to people.. If you're a decent person and use common sense, we'll get along just fine.

[@MarloEkberg]

Wow. I wholeheartedly agree with every point you made. I feel like I'd be right at home playing with you (far away from your desk of course :P). Although, I have to say, majority of your rules should apply to life in general and not just board gaming.

[@tehkolo]

Man I would never let someone else help set up or tear down my games. For set up, particularly when I am the host, I need to know where everything is and make sure it is easily within arms reach. So when we are playing the game I'm not hunting down resources or whatever. Also some games have some pretty intricate setups and that is usually something I want to double check just to make sure I get it right and that is so much harder when I have extra hands on the table. As for tear down, my games are carefully organized so that they are easy to break out again. If all my player's pieces come in a bag I'll ask they put everything back in the bag but not to touch anything else. Back when we played Arkaham Horror all the time I actually had a specific rule that when we are done everyone else has to go to a different room to talk while I put everything away. As the years have gone on I also find that doing this gives my guests time to talk, eat, check phones, and hang out a bit so that when it is game time they are a little more ready to play.

[@twothirdsanexplosive]

Ha. Hear you. Really appreciate people jumping on to help but it's obvious who are the gamers and who are just casual -- other board gamers ask how to organize pieces whereas casual folks will just throw things into wherever they fit to do things quickly.

[@tomasxfranco]

One thing that annoys me is when people are giving up for themselves they then proceed to try to kingmake someone else just to screw over whoever is closest to winning at the time. If I treat that preferences list as a kind of checkbox, my family are basically assholes. They can't put their phones down, can't stay still and pay attention to a rules explanation and always act like they are doing me a favor when they let me teach them a game.

[@nihlify]

Haha, I'm definitely that player that will try to keep the game close if I'm not winning. :P (unless the person winning is new or inexperienced with the game, I generally just go after the people that have a clear advantage in knowledge and experience with the game over the other players)

[@thamzhb]

I don't host/organise enough game nights to bother to set clear boundaries, but i can think back to some bad gaming experiences where it would have been much better if i set them beforehand

[@jonathanpickles2946]

The only rules that seem a bit odd to me are the last bite & the personal desk space & that's only because I would sanitise the gaming space & food access even more!

[@Castorshells]

I have the problem of being a very strict person when it comes to rules of the game. Sometimes I'll let stuff fly but in my mind I'm screaming! 🤦‍♂️

[@jimokelley3792]

Great topic!

[@lauragalactica4235]

There are some things that I care about at a gaming table. I would not call them rules, because it sometimes depends on the impact, but I also don't have a better word. - Let the gaming table be a safe space. You do not know about the trauma or packages of the other people, so be kind and supportive - Don't be a racist, (hetero-)sexist or some other kind of asshole to others (even if no one at the table is affected). Appreciate, that we might ditch a game because of it's theme (like colonialism) or depiction of women. - Don't eat meat at our flat, and preferably bring vegan snacks so you can share it with everyone. - Don't do trash talk, if you are not sure that the other person and the group can handle it. - Be nice to the dog (I just added this, because it so makes sense, haha).

[@HenryRSeymour]

The only one of these 6 rules I have ever heard you vocalize is the desk one! At the old place you had no cellphones written on your whiteboard, but I don't think you ever had to tell anyone that.

[@nirszi]

One rule/preference hit home with me big time. People who think they are losing and giving up on the game. I hate that so much. Total turn off on playing with that person even again.

[@Punko1969]

I wouldn't have given your desk a second look, but now I need to know what's inside it! What are you hiding from me? A first issue of Playboy signed by Marilyn Monroe? Trump's tax returns? Pictures of dogs you don't want your cats to see? My mind is melting!

[@jameystegmaier]

Ha ha...I actually don't have any drawers on my desk--it's just a flat desk. :) Nothing to hide!

[@Punko1969]

@@jameystegmaier Ah... Well, that makes this all far less exciting. I was imagining locked drawers and such. Okay. I'll leave your desk alone in this hypothetical scenario.

[@JeremyBerven]

I'm a newer member of our gaming group and a new home owner. We just got a game table and setup a gaming room and started shared hosting of our regular group at our house once a month or so. Since we've been playing with this group for a while it feels a bit odd for me to try to impose different "rules" while at our house. How would you suggest attempting to change the culture of our group a bit even though it's just a change in location. We have a lot of phone use in our group and people not helping with setup/cleanup. A big preference for me is that if you're the closest to a track and someone across the table needs to move on that track help them by moving their piece or handing them a resource. Scythe is the big example. If I need a popularity and you're right there, expect to help out when others require popularity and I'll do the same for you when you need power.

[@jameystegmaier]

Jeremy: I can understand why you're hesitant to impose rules so early in the process. One easy way to test a rule is simply to write it down and post it on the wall (whiteboard, printed sign, etc). That way you're calling attention to it without making anyone feel targeted. I've found that people tend to self-regulate after seeing that it was important enough for you to post on your wall.

[@dg7815]

Hmm, the competing to win even if you won't win preference is tricky. I've been on both ends of that one. I try to be okay with people quitting if it won't ruin the game. I once got stuck with a stripped down, near broke company in a game of 18xx on like the second round. I've learned my lesson since, but I decided to quit cause the game had another 3 or hours to go. The others were okay with this and I'm glad I wasn't stuck there. My slight variation on that rule is that even if you can't win, don't do any king making.

[@nihlify]

Personally I'm fine with king making in games where negotiations and alliances are encouraged (usually area control type of games). Makes no sense you'll just play for the win when you have no chance to do so. You'll just have to make sure people argue their case beforehand who deserves your support more. ;) This can be helped a great deal with better game designs though with catch up mechanic or mechanics that gives knocked out players a chance to progress in some other way. I do agree though that people quitting in the middle of a game can ruin a game. One reason why I only play poker in cash game formats at home instead of tournaments. In tournaments if someone ends up quitting or just playing off their entire stack it can really disrupt the rest of the game. In cash games they can just cash out the stack they have and leave, no problem.

[@jerrodwarr9706]

I don’t like people that show up 15+ minutes late. It’s disrespectful to others who showed up on time and it’s already hard enough to get everyone together. I personally don’t mind people leaving without helping clean up the game, because I consider it a trade off for them driving all the way to my house. This is especially true when game night goes long; I want them to be able to get to bed at a reasonable time.

[@joepunman9654]

I get the cell phone rule. However, I'll bring mine out to enter in the names and stats for my BG Stats app. I also pull it out for downloaded rulebooks and for consulting BGG when we have a rules question. I do confess I will play on it if someone takes too long of if we are taking a break. Sorry. I do try to keep that to a minimum though

[@jameystegmaier]

I think that's a fair use of cell phones. When my friends do that, I like them to mention what they're doing (otherwise I wonder if they enjoyed the game so little that they've quickly moved on to social media).

[@ceciliakaplan6488]

My rule is no grumpy people allowed. Happy, friendly, fun people only. It works!

[@rikhavok]

I agree that people need to leave their phone away for the most part. But if i get a text from my wife, if I don’t respond, then I get hell for going to game night. Or when I am the host, people texting me about parking or directions and stuff, or even rules look ups and stuff. But... Social media or just playing on their phone - ABSOLUTELY NOT!

[@JasonDay56]

Anyone being rude to pets wouldn't be invited back and it would really make me question any interactions with them outside of gaming. What is wrong with people?

[@twothirdsanexplosive]

Was thinking the same thing. Some of these to me are no go for friendships, let alone a game night. But I'm guessing Jamey has to host a broader group of people as part of the job whereas I'm only inviting friends over for games.

[@Drekatjorn]

Interesting video, as always. 1 - Don't be an idiot! You may not like every game that comes to the table, but don't ruin the fun for everyone else. If you don't like the game, tell us when it's over and we'll remember to not bring it to the table again when you're attending. 2 - Food and drinks are allowed (in most cases. I'd prefer you keep them away when playing Robo Rally or other oop and hard to find games) but please no cheetos or other mess. If it's on the kitchen counter or fridge, you're welcome to it. 3 - Be a good sport - a game is about trying to win, whether you do or don't doesn't matter. You wouldn't like me at your game nights, as I have the rule to always eat the last piece of anything :D We call it "the modesty piece" and I've never been known to be modest.

[@RebeccaJensenRunBosco]

How I treat my wife during games with other players is actually the opposite of the stereotype! When we’re playing with new gamers, I’m far more likely to target her (with a take that move) than someone else at the table, because I know that she can take it- both emotionally and competitively. But I don’t think that’s the kind of unique treatment you’re talking about. 😄

[@RebeccaJensenRunBosco]

But if we’re playing with other experienced gamers, then I treat her just the same as the other players. 🙂

[@J-Wheeler-G]

I don't think the "don't eat the last of somethig" rule is weird at all. Even at my parents houses I never open or finish something.

[@KabukiKid]

Yeah, I always check with everyone before I eat the last of anything... I would feel rude and bad if I gobbled something down without doing so.

[@jfren484b]

This one sounded strange to me until he talked about people eating his own household food, and then it made more sense. At my group's game nights, we all bring a snack/drink/dessert to share, and it's all fair game, but no one touches the person's own food or drinks they might have. It's completely separate. In that scenario, it would be weird to say you can't have the last of something. 😁

[@nebelung1]

What I don't like is players who really thrive in "take that" mechanics. I'm 100% fine with "take that" mechanics in games, I even enjoy some of it, but what gets me is when certain people get really rude and "in your face" about it. NOT fun. Even if you absolutely ruin someone's plans and make them rethink all their choices, you can be nice about it! I've had people literally cheer at my unfortune! And no I don't really feel like playing with them again! Most of the time it really is a player problem, not a game problem (imo)!

[@gaillardlionel]

No rules in my group, we let the common sense go. We don't abuse the phone, but sometimes someone needs to answer a phone call or a text, and we all understand it. Kids crying, wife can't find something, et... It happens, we're all grown up and life is not just boardgames. Don't get me wrong we're dead serious about board games, and we very rarely play party games, competition is intense! But we all have lives too. Also sometimes we have to live with things we're not fond off, because we're all different, and we have to accept our differences. For example one of my friends likes to put a little bit of music in the background, we're not thrilled about it but we can tolerate it so we let him have his pop music in low volume :-) he also likes to walk and see other people play at other tables, he gets impatient, that's fine, he's still a nice guy, nobody's perfect :-) another one likes to always be the one learning and explaining rules, and even if it's not his game he will read portions of the rulebook while we're teaching it, makes him feel smart I guess, we live with it... Others get angry if they missed a rule and screw up because of it, saying "I didn't know about it", despite the rest of the table saying they knew, never a nice thing, but hey grumpiness happens, and I've learnt that people don't change easily. Sometimes we remind people when they do something a little off, take too long to take a turn, etc, but at the end of the day respect is everything, and as long as it's there, we can all make it work.

[@junepaologuarin8762]

I recommend counting the game components after the game.

[@simonmcg23]

Some rules for my group. Sorry for the religious language, Its a bit tongue in cheek The 10 Commandments of social board gaming Thou shalt exercise fair and reasonable attention to matters of personal hygiene when playing with a group and if consuming food, due care to maintain clean, grease free hands. Thou shalt not take to long with thy turn even at the expense of playing a non competitive round of the game. Thou shalt respect the host of a game and listen attentively to the rule explanation. Any errors or omissions handled via questions and not interjections. Thou shalt never host a game thy has never played before. Thou shalt assist with setup and pack down. Thou shalt respect groups of other gamers and keep any interactions to polite observation. Thou shalt remember that winning at all costs and taking pride in thereof is not the path to a good social experience. Thou shalt be punctual and not expect to join a game already begun. Thou shalt not fold or bend cards, roughly handle miniatures or mistreat any components. Thou shalt contribute to a social experience, enjoy the theme, get to know the other players and strive to be an asset to the collective.

[@jfren484b]

"Thou shalt never host a game thy has never played before." should be: "Thou shalt never host a game thou hast never played before." 😁 I agree with these, especially the greasy hands one!

[@ThomasLiljeruhm]

I have aquestion. How do you go about choosing what game(s) to play next?

[@jameystegmaier]

As the host, I try to see if anyone is particularly excited about a game or if they just learned a game to teach (I want them to be able to teach it before they forget it). I also yield to guests if there's a person who doesn't normally attend.

[@TheBbadger]

Count me in on your next game night :)

[@jedihq1]

I have a lot in common with Jamey in terms of gaming preferences and player types. I think most of these things are common sense, but there are so many a-hole gamers out there. Glad to know that Jamey isn't one of them. LOL

[@choychoymaster]

fully agree about the rules about the cat, if someone is mean with animals so don't hang with them. Not to have any sterile controversy or it might be that I misinterpretated the sentence but I dislike when one by analogy puts the pets and kids as being the same thing / same level (note: I respect the relationship that one can have with their pets).I can tell you if someone if being mean with any family member the issue go beyond a game night rule...

[@choychoymaster]

@Mac Matheson not sure about kids not being helpless, they could be helpless even if they talk ( Oliver twist, Cosette, and sadly in our world etc..) I just wanted to highlight that yes mistreatment is bad for whichever creature but at no point whatsoever I would state that doing this to your cat is like doing it to your kid. Doing it to your kid is far worse.

[@choychoymaster]

@Mac Matheson and I fully agree with your last sentence.

[@jeffhiatt3793]

For Me it comes down to 4 basic rules. Be 1st be engaged. 2nd don't be a jerk. 3rd don't pout. Finally and most importantly have fun.

[@choychoymaster]

@@jeffhiatt3793 can't more agree on that.

[@shawns3911]

My game night rule is no cats

[@fugazigamer1426]

what is your cats name?

[@jameystegmaier]

Biddy and Walter

[@rown2k4]

On Rule #3: They are cats. I understand.

[@mathewhill5161]

My cat can be quite annoying - jumping on the table and messing up the board and pieces - but .. you can't blame a cat for being a cat. Or at least you shouldn't.

[@nebelung1]

you can teach a cat to not be on the table (at least in your presence), but you have to be adamant about enforcing it because cats like to push their limits! :P

[@mathewhill5161]

@@nebelung1 Heh .. yes they do. Well .. I bought a slightly older than 1 year rescue cat and she doesn't bite or scratch, is perfectly house-trained, and so far hasn't shredded my boardgames. So I'm hesitant to mess with her settings. *grin*