My ADOPTED SON is choosing the people who LEFT HIM on the side of the road when he was 5

[@JSaveK]

Seems like there's another side that's not being told. Just speculation on my part but maybe the adoptive parents didn't give him a racially appropriate upbringing. There's definitely a reason the son would just walk away and be so apparently ungrateful, so clearly they didn't treat him as awesome as they are making it out to seem.

[@JeDindk]

What is a "racially appropriately upbringing"?

[@JSaveK]

​@@JeDindkThey stated the son was black. If they raised him without exposing him to other black children and black culture, then he may have felt like he didn't really belong anywhere and when he started spending time with his bio parents they would have given him that feeling of racial identity.

[@salt7625]

As a black person idek what you mean by "racially appropriate" ...there isn't anything we do that are black person secret culture things that no other race will get (judging but the fact op is gay and married they likely live somewhere in europe) even so it's not that deep my dude, these stories happen all the time, kids even knowing how shitty their parents were still crave that love, what is likely happening is the bio parents are finally giving him the time of day he thinks he truely wants, and likely are manipulating him to pull away from the people that actually cared, kids are their own beings you know? They can be manipulated, they can feel on their own, they can come to conclusions they think are right just like any adult who gets back with their abusive ex cause "oh they're different now"

[@randomcow505]

@@salt7625 yea ive seen this happen too, my aunt fostered a girl from the age of 6, wanted to adopt but couldn't due to money but on everything but paper she was her daughter. the bio parents had beaten this girl bloody, tried "other things" with her, and were planning to send her off to there home country for fgm when social services got involved and she got put into foster care. aunt had raised her with all the love and patience in the world, even when she started really acting out in her teenage years she was always there to give her support when it crashed down. anyway, she turned 18 and met up with her biological parents and just went along with them and totaly ignored my aunt.

[@JSaveK]

​@@salt7625my dude, white parents of black children need to expose them to black language,music, history, hair and skin care, etc that are different from white people's, so that they have a sense of belonging. It's not secret but it's not always easy for those parents to provide that and a black child can feel alienated.