My Boyfriend Lives With His Ex (Is That Okay?)

My Boyfriend Lives With His Ex (Is That Okay?)
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[@msi8311]

I dated a guy I knew in college. In college we were friends and studied at his condo, eventually out of college we reconnected and were both single. So we met up, it was fun, and I asked about going back to his place. He paused and said we can’t because he has a roommate who probably wouldn’t like me being there. We didn’t go on another date after that. Months later he comes back and confessed that he didn’t have a roommate, he had a wife, and he divorced her the day after we dated and sent her back home somewhere in Asia. He said he thinks we are soulmates and wanted to have kids with me. He impregnated someone else 6 weeks later. Trust your gut.

[@lovely1641]

Ew. Like the level of toxic people are just casually okay with is disturbing to me. Good job, bullet dodged

[@ember13dp]

That’s so messed up for the poor Asian wife!! Glad you got outta there!!

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

Holy COW you dodged a bullet 😳

[@chrispowers627]

Damn!

[@cutehumor]

@M Si he tried to IMPREGNATE YOU. his mission failed

[@mogetit5999]

My last BF took a trip with his baby mama that he claimed he hated and stated they didn’t sleep together.. I dumped him immediately. Baby girl! You are worth MORE! Blessings

[@jasminerodgers9553]

Yup the same ones they have babies with

[@livinglifejaybyjay3063]

This is what exactly happened to me!!

[@mogetit5999]

@@livinglifejaybyjay3063 shameful 🤦🏾‍♀️ Even though I have a child I’m tempted to limit my dating to men with NO kids

[@benmyers9030]

​@mogetit5999 why stop there? Only date independently wealthy Nobel prize winners! They want someone else's baby mama! Everyone does!

[@Diana734]

No. If you are 36 years old and trying to have a new relationship you better not be living with an ex.

[@musiclover7004]

My heart goes out to this girl. Whenever a guy says that his girlfriend and him are just friends, it means he’s a planner wants to keep people around for options. Or hook ups. They’re never just friends. I really feel bad for her.

[@nicolab2075]

@abnattitude Who said not men? Anyone can keep options for themselves, but those people just won't be the choice of anyone who wants something long term, that's all.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

Exactly same thing when I date a woman. When she asks for commitment, I lay out clear boundaries I don’t have many, but no “he’s my ex and we are just friends”.

[@snoozyq9576]

Stop spreading this toxic message. I've been friends with my ex for years. It's not kind to spread these lies about people like me or him.

[@JuniorMcDirt]

Same with women when they say this they are also banging others. Never trust the double standards of women in todays society. God bless

[@avve9001]

I live with my ex and it's a prison. I really want her to just get the f out so I can move on with my life but it is a shortage of apartments. Every situation is unique and living with an ex is not always about keeping options. I don't want this.

[@Wyo2Wis]

Does she know the definition of a "side chick"?

[@jgeszvain]

Sounds like she is the side chick

[@probablynot1368]

Although he’s told her that the ‘ex’ is roommate, and that she has a boyfriend, I’m wondering if this is a total fabrication. Considering his ‘roommate ex-girlfriend’ is engaged in a relationship with another man, then this guy shouldn’t have any difficulties with introducing these two women to each other. He’s either cheating on his girlfriend with this caller, or they (he and the original girlfriend) have an open relationship.

[@marycarricaburu3683]

@@probablynot1368 my thoughts exactly.

[@anchorsaweigh9893]

These women are both side chicks.

[@ineedhoez]

This comment slaps!!! The fact that the profile picture is an older man with the gray hairs of wisdom is too much for me!!! 😂😂😂. When grandpa calls you a side chick, it's time to pack your stuff and head home. Game over.

[@ChavezDIY]

I know someone in a similar situation. People get caught up on finding proof they're cheating. You don't need proof that they're hooking up or not. The fact that it's on your mind that they might be hooking up is already unhealthy. It's an unhealthy relationship to be with someone who lives with their ex.

[@Astro95Media]

When the suspicion's are that strong and there's enough to justify the suspicion like this, it's time to run. Speaking from experience, too.

[@SarahR2D2]

100% 🔥🔥🔥

[@lovely1641]

Exactly because the boundaries aren't there so that you'll have piece of mind. And that's what's important

[@Astro95Media]

@@lovely1641 Bingo. Complete and willful disregard for their partner and their feelings.

[@alisonb5921]

I knew a couple, who got divorced, they never had kids, never wanted kids. They stayed friends & they still lived in the same house. My friend lived upstairs & the ex husband, lived downstairs. When the ex husband found a new girlfriend, the girlfriend moved into the house, too ! When my friend, met her new man, she decided she wanted her privacy. So she moved out of the house. Her ex husband gave her the value of half of their house. He stayed in the house with his girlfriend. They still stayed friends. I couldn't live like they did ! I would've moved out, after the divorce, even though the house was large😊.

[@delfinadelmar6726]

Please don’t EVER let mental health get in the way of listening to your INTUITION...NOT EVER!!!

[@landonlowe4029]

This episode started off as kinda entertaining but got dark really quickly jeez

[@stevenporter863]

Ya, started funny. Would want to hear his side - it is only 6 months so he could be stuck in a lease. Otherwise, assuming there are no other living arrangement restrictions he needs to grow up.

[@Thesussysuscat]

Usually does

[@l-train7876]

Dads: this is why it’s crucial to have a trusting relationship with your daughter where she feels valuable and protected by you when she’s growing up.

[@AshleyLebedev]

Thank you for saying this. I am a daughter who didn’t have this & it ruined much of my life. Thank you for such a simple and vital comment. The land of a father showing the daughter she is smart & valuable & accepted ruins relationships with men for the rest of their lives. Not worth it.

[@MelissaMaiga]

So important!

[@Lemons19902010]

True! I had a great dad, but he never talked to me about sex or boys. I ended up in a relationship at 19 with a 30yr old man that had just gotten out of prison for DV as a result, because I didn't know any better and was sheltered.

[@emilypacheco2074]

When I was 19 an older guy in his mid 20s tried to get me to date him. He told me that he lived with her because they share the rent. I asked him how many rooms the apartment has and it has 1 bedroom. They sleep in the same bed. Yeah, I shot that down and told her to choose better as well.

[@COINsimp2024]

I have a friend who has bipolar and ptsd. She makes the same poor decisions. Because they don't trust themselves, they further traumatize themselves.

[@ineedhoez]

Exactly. I have a whole host of crazy. I did some how figure out to stop hurting myself. After stopping the negative behaviors, I got out of all of the crazy and found some peace. The peace allowed me to sit with my mess and feel the pain. Feeling the pain allowed me to make a positive choice to enter therapy and address my problems. I could have never gotten started without finally stopping the cycle of avoiding feeling my pain.

[@Thecraftyblacksheep]

My ex was talking to and staying connected to his ex when we started dating. When I added him on Facebook as my boyfriend; she went crazy on him in texts. She cut him off. He was obviously not honest with her that he met someone else. Should’ve been a red flag for me but I chose to ignore it. About a year later I broke up with hiM because of similar reasons revolving around one of his exes and mistrust. I simply just couldn’t trust him and I decided to just walk away. So much happier and healthier now.

[@us5freaak]

He was obviously hooking up with her up until the post about the relationship on Facebook. Why else would she react like that?

[@Spector06111]

Dated a girl once who had similar character. Still in contact with her ex she dumped but didnt want him to know she was dating me and moved on. One day I posted a photo on her fb I took of her on weekend getaway and she freaked out and suspended her profile because she didnt want to hurt her ex’s feelings 😱 Never trusted her again after that.

[@LauraLParr]

Who wants to tell her?

[@lovely1641]

He did thankfully because I wanted to go through the screen and say :"Lady you deserve so much better"

[@om617yota8]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer..........

[@GratiaPrima_]

Yup, he wants to keep her in his life at the expense of his “girlfriend” and that ain’t cool. When you care about someone, you care about how things affect them. ESPECIALLY if they already have mental/emotional issues.

[@starlingswallow]

Agreed! The fact that he doesn't see how/why this is an issue says he doesn't care....which makes me think he's a narcissist, possibly. Or maybe just a jerk.

[@torimunda]

as someone with bpd yes! you do question if you’re crazy or right about things like this, because partners are quick to dismiss your emotions if you have BPD! it’s like a scapegoat

[@thetruth5635]

Dr John “anyone that punches something out of anger is a child”!!This guy dr John nails it again

[@ILENEmusic]

💯💯💯

[@BaconMountainMan]

This situation has more red flags than a Chinese New Year's parade. 😳

[@starlingswallow]

😂 Happy Chinese New Year everybody! 🚩 🇨🇳

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@torimunda]

as someone who loves this show and has BPD i would love if you did more content about it!

[@roofieandraggy16]

Figures your attractive also.....🤔 i dated a bpd that was a 10 on the crazy spectrum. Holy shit eroded years off my life.

[@johannahhaugen8002]

Omg, I remember being in a similar situation as this beautiful girl and I remember that what started the process of healing for me, was knowing that just because Im not worth anything, does not mean that I have to settle for this. We live a free country where we can chose to be treat ourselves as the queen we wish we were. Nobody has to put up with anything! We can have a choice ladies! We don't have to settle, its better to be alone than to put up with not being happy. Thank you Dr. Delony! Thank you for reminding the audience that we deserve better!

[@jayrocke6067]

He doesnt deserve you. Your gut is not lying to you. Move on and find someone who deserves the wonderful you. You are worth it.

[@starlingswallow]

Lisa, I hope you read this... You are worth of audacious love. You are worth having someone who will love you and protect you AND the love you share. You are worth having peace in your life and a relationship that's safe and brings you peace and not emotional & mental turmoil. You are worth SO much my friend!! If you try to talk to him about this and he gets angry? HUGE red flag. This is his way to manipulate the situation so that this is YOUR fault and it scares you into not bringing it up again. (I'm speaking from personal experience) It wasn't until I found my own self worth in order for me to get up and LEAVE. As long as you are in a place where you believe he is the best you can do~ you'll be stuck. I pray you'll find a therapist who supports you in you finding your worth! ♥️🙏🏻💕

[@kylemedeiros6907]

I’m glad she called the show

[@biolife3274]

Bpd. She didn't have to say nothing else. People with bpd struggle leaving even with a million red flags. This is just one of many similar situations she's probably been in. Happy she's in therapy so she can learn a healthy way to have relationships.

[@hollystiener16]

And struggle to stay with no red flags because it is difficult to tell the difference between a red one and a white one.

[@MrsStilly1]

This girl sounds so sweet ❤ I hope she's found the love of her life and found so much peace and love in her heart 🥰

[@melanieb2132]

No comprendo living with your ex unless there's some things going on. They obviously have a deal worked out. "Yeah, we're friends and roommates.. but if the mood strikes.. ____" It's obvious.

[@Nah-ah]

What a mess! I would move on from this dude and continue with my healing if I were her. All the best to her!

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

Living together for 7 years used to be common-law marriage?

[@terriesmith2616]

If I was this girl, I would've focus on healing my trauma instead of getting into a relationship. Fix yourself first before you involve anyone else in your life.

[@jillgott6567]

If she can afford to live on her own so can he ! Dump the guy ! He should be out on his own if he really wants to move on to a relationship. This woman is sadly being played

[@Joel-pg4yi]

My girlfriend hangs out with her ex. Now she is my ex.

[@Deniise1212]

The fact that she had to call in to this podcast to realize what she already knew should’ve told her everything she needs to know. Vulnerable girl I wish her the best

[@omiyinkaogunsegun5012]

Hell No! What are you going to do when you find out that they both got that urge to walk down memory lane? Her boyfriend thinks he has died and gone to Heaven sleeping with two women with both knowing about each other. BF is playing off of her trauma. Get rid of him!

[@notmyfingers]

Delony!! Please say “are you comfortable sharing what kind of trauma you’ve endured” instead of saying “TELL me about your trauma” ❤ jusoyno

[@tamardansby4522]

My boyfriend still lives with his ex-girlfriend and thinks I should accept it because he says they sleep in the same bed but they don't have sex

[@arabella8478]

Dr John,your show was desperately needed,so many people are truly lost...it's painful to hear

[@Ruffstuff_Recovery]

Omg i want to hug this girl and take all her hurt away. Hope she gets strong ❤

[@Your_pal_jsal]

If your boyfriend lives with his ex he’s not you boyfriend same thing with girls.

[@b.1162]

Good God no. And this call goes to show that there is no such thing as one red flag. Spot one and there's a dozen just around the bend.

[@greatgolfer23]

How do I hear the previous call?? Sounds like a very interesting one

[@hiddenmonkeyofdoom]

Full shows get posted.

[@ember13dp]

It’ll probably be the next highlight he posts

[@dhritikapoor2897]

Darling , hope you have either had your boyfriend shift to a new apartment or have left this relationship. You are better and deserve better. Don’t let a past trauma lead to more traumas. You deserve a decent and respectful man and there are many of them out there. Don’t sell yourself short

[@esmeseyfried6394]

She is the side chick

[@pugscaniche7866]

Can't believe that idiot boyfriend doesn't see how hurtful it is for her....

[@elanafelberg1733]

OMG OMG OMG!!! Number one if this therapist told this young lady to stay in this current relationship, then she should no longer be a therapist. Number two no couple who broke up continue to live together while seeing other people that is insane. I feel that this young lady really needs a hug and a different therapist who can help her. OMG!!!

[@tw418]

You deserve better, girl ❤️💚💙🧡

[@grantguy8933]

Sorry to hear the cause. God bless.

[@JimTheMentalHealthCoach]

Yo the thumbnail pic is the BEEEEEST, looks like Doc John is squeezing!

[@NeuroSeasoned]

I agree that caller should possibly search around for other therapists, but I wish Dr John would've said to do this slowly. BPD folks will impulsively drop people who trigger their trauma, and it is not easy to find a therapist, especially one who sees BPD clients (due to the stigma in insurance and malpractice world ... as those with BPD are more likely than others to attempt suicide). We already established she has little in the way of support. This caller could be stranded for months if not years without a therapist ...

[@BitterComments]

Pardon the expression, but… *JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!* Edit: Okay I didn’t realize that she had been legitimately traumatized. I take it back…

[@sobeliever1638]

I feel everyone on Jerry was traumatized hence them being on that show.

[@aoifed8913]

Ok, it's not like they bought a house together & they have no money for either to move. They're only renting. There very well may me nothing going on but friendship, but that is just unnecessary drama messing with your head. Hell no

[@Bears85yemi]

It's crazy. I am in the same situation, only I am the one living with my ex. And it's because we're stuck in this lease (2 more months), but we do not sleep on the same bed, and I definitely don't want anything to do with her romantically... or even on a friendship level because of the financial stress she has put me through in the 3 years we were dating (among other things). Now I am talking to an amazing girl and I let her know off the bat, that I am still living with my ex and she seems okay with it, although the dynamic definitely shifted and understandably so. I'm such a doofus for not thinking outside the box in situations like this. I know I will never do anything with my ex, but this guy... been living with her for 7 years, that's not good at all.. whether she has a bf or not.

[@MR-fn7rw]

Another good reason not to live with someone you are dating. Guys live with your guy friends and girls live with your girl friends if you can't afford a place of your own.

[@AshleyLebedev]

I want to say to this girl who has BPD, because I also do, you are doing incredible in this call with being non reactive & destructive & that’s worth celebrating. You sounded better than him.

[@hadenanderson563]

Consider this: Lisa is at her boyfriend's house, His roommate enters and mentions that she a bad day. As a sympathetic man, Lisa's boyfriend hugs his roommate for 5 minutes without saying a word. Right front of the Lisa's face. What would that mean?

[@gabharri910]

Get out.

[@sobeliever1638]

You know what it means...

[@darwhitexo9084]

Dr D , I am saying this kindly. Please, please, please stop telling people to drop their therapists willy nilly following a short conversation on the radio. Especially to a person with BPD. I absolutely understand and stand for ensuring ethical practices in the profession but I worry about how listeners take in the advice of "drop that therapist " based on a short conversation. further, we know time and time again that what a person might hear or take away from a session is not always what was actually said or the message that was trying to be sent. Again , i know just like I'm ever profession there are good practitioners and awful ones To the caller. Yes , you are better than this and are worth so much more than you're getting.

[@lovely1641]

He's telling her to do it because the therapist is casually telling her to put up with something that will hurt her in the long run and that's not healthy at all. Your therapist shouldn't be telling you that. Besides that, you shouldn't drop your therapist as a listener to this or any of his other calls just willy-nilly based on what a video call in talk show on youtube says. We've gotta start encouraging people to think for themselves. This woman is paying and trusting a health professional with her mental health and they are giving toxic advice so by all means she should drop them. Sanity is sacred

[@darwhitexo9084]

@@lovely1641 right , i agree that she should not be with a practitioner who is not serving her well. She should find someone who is a good fit for her, behaves ethically, etc. And I also personally believe that based on the little information he had at that time it was a quick judgment. We don't know what conversations were also had during that therapeutic relationship. For me, It think that these things are both true.

[@lovely1641]

@@darwhitexo9084 Maybe but I still stand by Sanity is Sacred: It's really not something you can just take a chance on. Better to drop this therapist than to take a risk as big as that

[@ferarchila9073]

Man this was my issue too, I was with someone who lived with his ex, and he was getting bad to toxic, didn’t let me log in my IG or my Snapchat. He was tolerating his “roommate” crazy ex to treat him like crap at home so, one time he acted like a dck. One day he said that he was gonna call the cops on me bc I told him that I wanted to stay longer with me after his work. He was shaking and yelling at me saying that he was 2 hr with me already and he pulled me out of his car. After that I was like screw this man. I have the recording

[@Sattori_hikes]

Before they hit you they hit near you! Run don't look back your worth is so much more than this. Check out recovery mum videos on recovering from BPD it took me 10 years but there is healing on the other side.

[@thefoodwench4848]

Block him. Move on. I think she knows this. Any sign of Drama…. Run. She’s acting like she’s stupid. I know she has challenges but it’s common sense that this is not ok. I understand perhaps she’s impaired but all the more reason to get a better therapist and stay away from this guy.

[@KrystleLaughter]

This is a whole mess. It’s probably not his ex. He’s probably sleeping with her. No! you can’t trust anyone who live with their “ex”. This is why I created a whole KZbin channel to help women.

[@SlaughteredLambMinistry]

Dr John, I would really like to hear more research and awareness of BPD

[@hollystiener16]

yessss!

[@couchtater4621]

When the Doctor asked her how old she was, I was expecting her to say 2.

[@HurricaneAlisha]

Girl RUN

[@nailahdawkins]

0:49: You don't move *forward* with him, you leave! He's screwing his ex under your nose. Love yourself and stop settling for this basic B.S. 💩

[@biolife3274]

Bpd is so devastating. It's like a lifetime sentence without committing a crime.

[@a.dmagbatt9311]

Or just an excuse to just make stupid decision's

[@guyrose2350]

@@a.dmagbatt9311 most mentally ill people take accountability for their actions. If you’ve never dealt with trauma or mental illness it is hard to grasp that sometimes there’s uncontrollable terrible, life ruining decisions or actions taken during an episode, there’s medications for some disorders that can help, but BPD takes years of working through with meetings, there’s not really any medications that can stop it.

[@ineedhoez]

Once you know you have it, there are a ton of things you can do to help your self. You treat it like an medical condition.

[@snoozyq9576]

@@a.dmagbatt9311 pretty shitty of you to say this about all the wonderfully kind people with this diagnosis. Many are kinder than you thats for sure.

[@snoozyq9576]

@@ineedhoez yea but that doesn't mean it goes poof and disappears. You still suffer. You just slowly learn to manage it better.

[@TheAgentmigs]

You can tell she's very young.

[@probablynot1368]

She told John she’s 29. I think she’s more immature and/or naïve, rather than being young.

[@alexafernandez5743]

29 is not young

[@CarnivoreStork]

News Flash Lisa He hadn’t broke up with his EX yet!

[@karenjohnson6800]

Totally Agree that it’s NOT OKAY

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

Am I the only one left in America who DOESN'T have PTSD?

[@ineedhoez]

It is possible. I have complex PTSD from persistent neglect and childhood trauma.

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

@@ineedhoez Let it go.

[@HisLoveArmy]

I could answer that .. don’t even need to watch 🤣🤣

[@zeal4god402]

Time 4 him to move out and get a male roommate

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Unhealed trauma begets more drama .

[@ineedhoez]

I like that expression!!!!

[@geo865833]

The thumbnail for this video is everything lmao.

[@lovely1641]

No...

[@DarthBalsamic]

The title alone brought me to this. I just had to hear this one. Lol

[@kathypryor2477]

Run girl, RUN!!

[@djgettsom7879]

I am in the same situation/ I have a gf of 1 1/2 yrs. her ex was paying 1/2 her rent at the rental house she was living at with her 8 y/o son (her ex-son) and 18y/o daughter. She soon lost her job/ wasn't able to afford her part of rent/ so.. after only knowing (dating) her for 5-6 months I decided to move her and her kids into my house (I'm a home owner) living situation with me wasn't all peaches/ cream- 5months later/ I respectfully asked her to move out- she agreed (mind you- we were still together dating) however- it was as a slippery slope, but we continued to stay together- but/| when she moved out/ it wasn't pretty- she had no job/ no money and no why to go- she moved back into the rental house with her ex- (father of her 9y/o son) and 2 male roommates - it's a 4bedroom house- Ex- sleeps in the Master bedroom that has a full Bathroom (that my gf uses) the roommates uses the main bathroom- my gt, her son and daughter share the 1 bedroom together- my gf says she is completely over her ex- no involvement- he isn't even involved in his son life- she has been living there 5 months- and she still hasn't landed a job/ and she tells me that she's working on getting her own place for her and her kids with government assistance/ and a job- I have confronted her one day if she's sleeping with him/ and she got completely defensive/ and upset that I would even think that- (I immediately said- okay- you’re not cheating on me with him) however ; why is my intuition telling me differently- please feel free to respond/ thank you

[@notmyfingers]

“wanna keep her somehow” who are your parents bc they did not teach you about positive ownership. Ppl are not property - sick of the way ppl are used like this tho and talked about as if we’re to be used.. we’re humans - not objects❤

[@Ruth-vy1qj]

I saw the title did she ask is that ok all I can say is dam dam the stuff that people put up with that is really unnecessary

[@machutson5493]

As the oldie goes- "You better run".

[@moralesa9393]

Leading a patient

[@cathy7824]

I'm good friends with my ex. He has been to my house when I haven't been home. I dont sleep with him, some of us are grown. My old man is ok with him. We are all well balanced professional people.

[@Jane5720]

You sound very professional when you call your boyfriend your old man

[@bethl]

But would your old man be good with it if you lived with your ex???

[@cathy7824]

@@bethl funny you should ask. My ex is struggling with the end of his current relationship. His ex moved across the street from him. He just spent the night at our house last week. Like I said were all grown, i wouldn't have ot any other way. My ex is a good person we just didn't fit together. I was in love with him when I was with him and I'll love him till the day I die. I'm no longer in love with him.

[@minervagalvez4748]

ROLLING MY EYES 🙄🙄🙄

[@RichV20]

He's living the dream

[@gabharri910]

Yeah, getting hookups with no commitment.

[@snoozyq9576]

You guys have pretty lame dreams. Aim higher

[@esmseg1555]

My ex fiancé lives with me and his dating someone. I told his new girlfriend that he lives with me and he got upset because I told her and it wasn't my place to tell her. We were sleeping in the same room. Now he sleeps on the couch. The new girl still wants to be with him. How is she okay with that?

[@DrewsDiggz]

Im currently sperated from my wife (not legally ) but have stopped all sexual contact etc.. still pay for house with her and for our family.. we have 2 kids, and they aren't aware we arent separated.. heartbreaking, we both still love each other, but one had to work on oneself.. point is i still am involved daily and have taken family trips still and zero romance just co parenting

[@rebelwithacause2229]

Please stop falling for this!

[@geminisunleomoon]

It's been 2 yrs and I bet he still lives with his ex.

[@kc-il4sb]

Got a fast solution for this one🤣

[@thembisaodendaal]

I find therapists so benign they always want to be neutral and I hate that.have some balls tell me I'm out of line then we can have a constructive conversation.This idea that anything goes is crazy,I should have just spoken to my Instagram friends who will validate whatever I say..therapists have to do better

[@RaspberryRetrograde]

What was the title for the story before? I wanna hear about the story before where the valley and their spouse are both seeing other people

[@daegrun]

Idk man. It's expensive to move solo and find a roommate at that age. And just 6 months of dating... we’d need to commit in other ways before leaving a friend (yes, that is an ex) just for insecurity. She’d be welcome to come in whenever and know about the whys. Perhaps we could get a plan for each of us to live elsewhere apart without financial ruin. Happy she has a support system to uproot easily compared to him. And again just for a girlfriend not yet fiance to ditch a multiple-year friend. That flame had long been put out. He offered to have her live with them too so... The issue is more about not liking the ex than not trusting him. More not trusting herself or seeing self as less. That's her issue until she voices what wants in a relationship or even if want a serious one.

[@kathyalex778]

At 36 you can’t find somewhere to live solo? Crazy

[@sopranosd]

Sweetheart - he's lying to you. He's sleeping with her. They are enmeshed. Please don't saddle yourself with this terrible relationship. Your therapist is full of crap; she's not protecting you or validating you. Leave this dude and leave your therapist. Find a specialist in Borderline and PTSD; a real PhD and beyond certified. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!

[@JC-xu1cz]

Red Flag Flying. Break up with him. You have been used and abused.

[@kellibuzzard9431]

This show is so Jerry Springer sometimes. Ha!

[@nightsintheasylum2340]

Please help guys need advice... i started dating someone who seemed perfect but then i had a manic episode he reacted differently to (physical abuse) butnhe isnstil the best i can do, as a bipolar, borderline ps sufferer with ptsd , addiction issuss and so on... he keeps ghosting me then coming Back, hes 54 and im 28.. curently hes syaying with his baby mom he says for the kids but he igjores me for weeks to a month at a time. I dont know whay to do. Hes the best thing thay ever happened to me but i cant deal with my heart breaking every time he ghosts me and we have such a fun time when were tigegher thay it really confuses me and i dont know whatbhe wanrs. One minute he wants kids and marriage with me then the nedt hes punching me saying im an animal and then ignoring me for weeks. I have far too much abuse to ever heal from, but i recently mamaged to get clean and its since geyting clwan thay his behaviorhas changed negatively . What do i do?

[@Christina-kq8ii]

I’ve tried this, it doesn’t work

[@bkucenski]

Don't date a leg lamp. They aren't a "major award."

[@TimonPOL91]

To whomever created that thumbnail deserves rise.

[@truthseeker6370]

Yeah not a deal.

[@tylerk.7947]

I have to completely disagree on this one. Just because they live together doesn’t that mean they’re hooking up. I feel like that mentality is so immature… It is definitely possible to have a platonic relationship with an ex. I have one… Living with an ex sure could show some red flags, But there’s so many reasons like convenience and finances etc. that would explain why

[@Olivia-qo1mj]

I’m just curious have your relationship/ relationships been successful while still living with your ex? Even tho you claim you have nothing to do with her sexually.

[@djgettsom7879]

I’d like to know what the end result was

[@matthewgoulamanian5968]

im sorry im never getting married i cant trust people or myself forget about it

[@ineedhoez]

That's not the solution. Your solution is to do the work on yourself, so you can establish healthy boundaries, and enter into relationships with healthy people. You will be able to spot the signs of dysfunction and walk away very early in the process. If she was emotionally healthy, she wouldn't have dumped him on the second date when he told her he lived with his ex. And all of this would be avoided.

[@matthewgoulamanian5968]

@@ineedhoez or just not get married at all and work on myself