My Boyfriend's Mom Singled Me Out At The Airport, Boyfriend Didn't Defend Me r/Relationships

[@jamisonosborne]

Story 1: It isn't just the ex-boyfriend and his mother that were problems. The entire family sat back and let it happen. The whole tree is rotten to the core.

[@JordanDragonAs]

Roots core is apple

[@fytrndm]

As much as I hate newspaper taking stories from Reddit to use, this is one of those stories I _really_ want major news outlets to pick up so anyone who had seen the event and knew the family would hear about it and embarrass the heck out of them

[@BlankBrain]

I think the last story (BIL comments on dress) is the same. The whole tree is rotten to the core.

[@DJScopeSOFM]

I wonder how many girlfriends have they done that to?

[@melrobertson2743]

She looks down on OP'S job as A NURSE, does "mommy" understand that her life is going to be in their hands if she's ever sick or in a long term care home 🙄🤦‍♀️

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Kudos to the check-in lady for saying it for what it was "That family doesn't appreciated you", NTA at all, and Becky can keep her Mumma's Boy!

[@pansprayers]

I had to tell a couple of people this when I worked for an airline. Wasn't even mad when one resulted in a write-up.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

@@pansprayers Compassion and seeing things for what they are come in all forms, well done!

[@iasomnium919]

Honestly, airport people like this woman are the real mvps. They see it all, they deal with it all.

[@carolroberts4614]

Life isn't static Good for you! Those people who wrote you up must have hearts of stone!

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@pansprayers That's the sad part - it feels like companies punish employees for being human. I had an eerily similar situation to this - I came from abject poverty, growing up in the system, and worked my way up to lower middle class. I thought I was doing well, supporting myself and my son after the divorce, and I had met a wonderful man. He was as sweet as could be, but he came from generational wealth. They abused him too, he was the scape goat in his family, so I don't blame him for shutting down the way he did. His family gave me ALLL the BS lines - "You have to look at it from our point of view! How would you feel if your son just brought home some low class single mom?! Wouldn't you want to protect him too?!", "Oh, maybe we should meet at a Cracker Barrel, it would be more familiar to your people" (BTW, no clue why she assumed Cracker Barrel was a common thing from MY culture, considering everyone there was white, unless she was implying "the poors"?), and my favorite "How about we just cut off his insurance and stipend (He has a deadly chronic condition) and see if you still 'love' him, hmmm?" (Because risking their son's life to get rid of "the poor" was a totally reasonable thing to do...) Anyhow, after years of being brow beating by his family, he caved and broke, had a mental breakdown that resulted in him being hospitalized and me being stranded in an airport 2000+ miles from home with no extra funds to buy a new plane ticket home. (Or hotel was reserved in his name, so I couldn't just continue on) I spent 2 nights sleeping in the airport, basically hoping to wait out my return flight when a Check in person noticed I was there for his 3rd shift, and asked me what happened. When I explained it to him, he cried with me, took me to his counter, changed my departure to the very next flight and wrote off the extra costs. I was very thankful, VERY thankful. I thought the proper thing to do, as a woman who worked in a customer facing position, was to write a thank you "Attaboy" to the company, telling them how much I appreciated their wonderful employees like him, and that without him, I don't know what could have happened. I told them I felt he was management material, that empathy was hard to come by, etc. They basically replied with a polite "Thanks, but there are rules, and he broke them. So thanks for bringing this to our attention" letter in response. The letter implied he would face disciplinary actions, and I felt like shit. I wanted him to be rewarded, not punished, and I can't help but worry that the kind gentleman thought he was getting in trouble because I complained or something. I hate rich people and corporations... They are some selfish and apathetic mother fuckers. You be the best damn Check in person you want to be!

[@pansprayers]

'Can you start after your vacation?' That's how you respond if you can't promise the time off, you *don't* vaguely promise it and then blow over it, because you can't be arsed.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Nana has a spine so she left this AH. The nerve of this guy commenting on OP's outfit. It's not his business. It's time to put your husband in his place.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Should have asked him right there at the table with family around why he was looking at her cleavage…aka boobs!

[@dawndoe11]

The "YTA for going behind your wife's back" with story 3 has me bewildered because... what do they think would've happened if OP had talked about this to his wife? She'd [clearly] ignored Anna's request MULTIPLE TIMES and an argument would've broken out between the two of them. OP was right to go and do it behind her back, this situation was "ask forgiveness, not permission" based on how obsessed she is/was with a child's hair.

[@draughtoflethe]

Heck, this was an "ask neither forgiveness nor permission, because the daughter has the right to make this decision without Mom's authorization" situation. But yeah, I don't know what that commenter thought talking with OP's wife was going to accomplish there.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@draughtoflethe agreed

[@sophdog2564]

She's lucky her husband took the kid to a professional before Anna took matters into her own scissors

[@susankaempfer8427]

Rule number one: DON’T LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOUR KIDS.

[@minavelez2009]

The fight would have been worth it. You're supposed to fight for your kids. He didn't even bother to fight. The wife is crazy and he's a coward.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA The wife has too much of her identity wrapped up in HER DAUGHTER'S hair. Anna has everybright to choose her haircut and OP as her dad has every right to give her what she wanted. The wife massively overreacted and sounds super emotionally unhealthy.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

I completely agree! I just think that if OP had talked to the mom up front about it-even if it started a fight. It would have been a better example for the daughter if he taught her that her decisions about her body are worth fighting for, and she shouldn’t have to sneak around for it.

[@robertx8020]

Btw newsflash to the mother If she doesn't like it she can always grow it back Mom behaves like a baby and sounds like a terrible mother !

[@zellagrace445]

Story 3: I cam see OP making a post in the future about the wife turning into a Mother-of-the-Bride zilla if their daughter chooses to marry later on.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

The movie TANGLED shows how manipulative some women can be. Worth a watch. Plus, it is funny and has happy ending.

[@mbyerly9680]

Great music, too. And the horse is the best character.

[@bun04y]

lol! I wonder if the little girl with the haircut was copying the movie. Her mom (OP's wife) did seem a lot like Mother Gothel.

[@TsukiKageTora]

I started the movie 30 minutes in once and knew the lady was evil just based on the manipulation seen

[@A_Little_Bit_Of_Everything06]

Tangled is such a good movie! One of my favs as a kid and still is now, although now that I'm older I understand more of the relationships in it

[@brigidtheirish]

@@TsukiKageTora Mother Knows Best is the most realistic villain song.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "How could you do that to my mommy!" How could she do that to your _girlfriend?_ If I were Op I'd have many more colorful choice words than just calling her a bitch and they wouldn't be limited to just her, they would be for anyone who was in on it/condoned it.

[@jancatperson8329]

Haircut story: The kid is a human being, not a doll. She’s old enough to have an opinion, so she gets to choose her own hairstyle. Mom seriously needs counseling.

[@raz7573]

Yes. I hate when parents force kids to get an unwanted haircut.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The mother is messed up and so was her overreaction. Given that, OP is the A-hole. He should not have allowed the kid to get a buzz cut like that. Why you ask? Because she is a kid and doesn't realize the crap she will get for a cut that short. Sorry, but a parent doesn't have to and should always listen to a kids desires. My kids always want to drink my beer, but I tell them no. My kids want to stay out late at night, but I tell them no. My kids want to travel out of the country alone but I tell them no. Get what I mean??? When the kid comes home from school the first day with that new haircut crying, the OP dad will MAYBE realize he done f*cked up by letting his kid do what she wanted. We are talking about an 8-year-old girl, not a teenager. Sometimes you have to tell your kids, NO.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@moon-moth1 Is it the haircut that made her act that way or the fact the husband went behind her back after they had told the kid, NO, without any discussion with her??? OP is too much of an idiot to be able to figure it out. Wait until the kid comes back from school after that first day from her new haircut and is bawling because other kids made fun of her. Maybe then, the OP dad will figure out why you don't cave into everything your kids want, especially an 8-year-old girl LOL.

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@moon-moth1 the older I get, the more I realize that there are people who are considered adults solely because they are over the age of 18. They don't act like adults, they throw tantrums and cry when they don't get their way, they play victim, they double down, they never admit they're wrong, they deflect, and they give the silent treatment. My 60 something y/o grandparents are great examples of this. When I wouldn't do what they wanted, they attempted to manipulate and gaslight me, scream at me outside my own damn house, lied to police about me, demanded my landlord kick me out of the apartment I pay for, and contacted my therapist. Fucking immature adults need to be called out every time until they grow the hell up.

[@dionysus_adores]

Yep op is a good parent his wife was trying to live through their child. My mom tried to live through me before she no longer could sucked. My dad encouraged it too..so op best parent awards

[@cnkclark]

Story 1: OP should just tell the ex-boyfriend that his mom can buy all the First Class tickets she wants but she will never have real class.

[@raz7573]

Yesss!

[@photofreak56]

She sounds like an insecure woman who clearly know she's the MC mansion in Sarasota that breaks down after 10 years but pretends that she is the gray stone monument that lasts for centuries. I hope she enjoys never having grandkids because clearly the ex-boyfriend is never going to cut mommy's strings off of him

[@susankaempfer8427]

Exactly. She’s the nouveau riche that gives rise to the stereotype. What terrible behavior.

[@sylviajones6745]

Ooooooh good one!!!!

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Glad little Anna STOOD UP TO HER OPPRESSOR....her selfish mom.

[@Russman67]

Story 3: OP did the daughter a solid. Daughter wanted to make a choice about her body and dad said "Cool. Let's do it". Well done Pops, now be ready to deal with mom's heat here.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I don't think he did the kid a solid. When she comes home from school the first day after this new extreme haircut, she will be bawling her eyes out from all the crap she took at school about it. Look how upset the kid was about the crazy mother's overreaction. OP dad is the A-hole for two reasons, he should have guided his 8-year-old daughter to a less extreme haircut she liked and he should have discussed the issue with his wife beforehand. Sometimes, as a good parent, you have to tell your kids, NO. Plus we are talking about an 8-year-old girl, not a teenager. I think the OP knew his wife would act like this and that is why he agreed the daughter could get a buzz haircut just to get a dig in on his wife. Too bad getting that dig on his wife is going to cause lots of issues and drama for his 8-year-old daughter.

[@Godviahh]

@@thomasjoseph5876 the fuck are you on about??? girls having short hair is completely normal now a days. lmao. no one is gonna bully a girl for having short hair.

[@zozocecp]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Sometimes, as a child, your parents opinion would hurt you more than another child’s. It makes sense, their mom fawned over their hair and made it seem like they were a doll. Of course they would cry, their mom saw them as an object. My mother used to tell me “what happened to my baby?” because I was going through puberty and had acne on my forehead. That hurt significantly worse than school kids making fun of my acne. Mother would have had a fit, regardless, because their child was becoming a person, and not a baby. Childhood is the time for extreme haircuts.

[@princesspanda12012]

@@thomasjoseph5876 why are you assuming the haircut won't work out? And the kid is tired of her hair, it's not fair to force her to have long hair, ridiculous

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@thomasjoseph5876 A *lot* of kids are getting what adults consider "extreme" haircuts and the other kids don't care simply because kids are wearing their hair in all sorts of styles. It's considered normal, even in this conservative state.

[@Russman67]

The boyfriend is a Mummy's boy. Not even a momma's boy. He somehow transcends that. He saw what mom did and was expecting her to be cool with it. The only way boyfriend could have salvaged that is if he took the coach seat and sent her up to first class. But that takes a shiny spine. Good on her to walk away from this shit show of a family.

[@HealthyObbsession]

He's just as bad as the mom if he sees nothing wrong with how his mom treated his partner then he isn't worth being with They're classist narcissistic D-bags who hated that their precious baby was slumming it with OP This was probably a ‘test’ to see if OP was in it for the money But I think anyone would feel the same as OP if their SO’s mom paid for everyone else including the sibling SO’s but them, it's clear they were singled out and given the ‘free coach’ ticket and then they left them to go through the express check-in OP has to wait just to check their bags I really don't under his kind of animosity that more well off people have against jobs Just like I don't understand the animosity less well off people have for those who are well off Both versions suck

[@_Sage967_]

the boy probably thought he needed to stop having his mommy schedule paid hookups and get a girl on his own but still wanted all the expensive luxuries his mommy provided. he'll find another girl and hopefully, that girl is smart enough to fleece the family of all that money they're so eager to flaunt

[@bunnyslippers191]

And then the BF has the audacity to claim that OP "wasted all that money!" Her ticket was free, so she didn't waste any money. Apparently the BF doesn't know the definition of "free."

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@bunnyslippers191 don’t forget that she was going to have to pay to check her bag too. Did the other girlfriends have to pay to have their bags checked…probably not! But in all honesty, I wouldn’t want to sit in first class with that crap group even if it was offered! Can you just imagine the comments boyfriend’s mom would say to her while her precious boy was sitting in coach? No thank you, I would have more fun sitting at home in peace and quiet!!🤦🏼‍♀️

[@LuMo1980]

You can bet she would have to sleep on the couch, pay for her own meals and excursions while the rest had free access to VIP treatment. She dodged a bullet there.

[@reinventingmelissa2061]

REALLY want an update to the hair story. I want to know what happened with the wife! How long was she gone? Has she "forgiven" her daughter? Is she getting therapy for this over-the-top obsession with her daughter's hair?

[@princesspanda12012]

This. The mom is way too obsessed over hair like the daughter is a barbie doll. And it's gross.

[@bacgu]

Story 4: In a lot of cases, taking the low road is the better option. This is one of those times. People love talking shit to people who have personal information on them and then get shocked at the completely warranted comeback🙄

[@Russman67]

This is justifiable assholery for me. Brother is a controlling POS who got dumped and is looking to establish control over anyone else in his social sphere. OP just let him know he can't control her. Savagely. Well done.

[@Ally.81]

This reminds me of an argument I once had with a friend that turned heated. Long story short he is very religious(more like fanatic in my opinion) and we got to talking about relationships between same sex people and he blow up. Then I asked him what he will do if one of his kids ended up gay. He said that will never happen cause he will raise them right, so I ask if he thinks parents are "at fault" for people being gay and he said yes. That is when I was the AH and said, so only people that are not raised right end up gay and do bad stuff and it's only their parents fault? He said yes and I said so your parents are at fault for you doing prison, not because you were stupid and hanging out with the wrong people? I admit it was a low blow, but he deserved it, plus the conversation was way longer and he was looking down at people and talking crap about a lot of stuff, so I felt he needed a bit of his own "medicine".

[@ynmonroe]

Amen. Besides, who the heck is he to police someone else on their clothes. This family sucks for enabling him. Also, why would divorce mean that he needed to move back home with the parents? Sounds like a loser all around.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Great stories Mark Story 1: what a great attendant. She saved OP from a horrible vacation and a horrible relationship. Enmeshment mama’s boys are the worst 🚩🚩🚩

[@definitelyarealperson248]

I know. Also the fact that the airport attendant could see immediately how horrible the family was speaks volumes.

[@raz7573]

Yup. If she didn’t break up with the boyfriend she would’ve set herself up for a lifetime of I’ll treatment.

[@katarzynajuszczyk7892]

Horrible family

[@cv8167]

Story 1: If OP still has the ticket, she might want to check if it was a round trip ticket, or a one way ticket... Judging by the mother I fear she was planning on leaving OP in the lurch to find her own way home as well.

[@catdust]

omg i didn't even think about that, but yeah i wouldn't have put it past the scank

[@bun04y]

If the ticket is in OP's name...she should cash that sucker in!

[@JordanDragonAs]

@@bun04y if you cancel it's null and void

[@canadalovesanime3137]

Story 4: OP should have stood up and said to the husband. "If things continue like this; it won't only be your brother's marriage that HE blew up. You have a choice, me or your toxic brother. Either you go to counseling or WE will be getting a divorce, just like your brother. Then the two of you can both live here with the enablers and wallow in self-pity." OP take a break from the marriage and let him know you are serious! NTA

[@robertx8020]

Yes!! The husband was way out of line!

[@sandraringener4968]

Story 2: I had a similar situation, I applied for a job at an optometrist office, thinking I would get weekends off, but they were actually open on weekends so I explained to them that I needed one weekend off a month or so because my whole social circle had weekends off and we attend events at least once a month or more, but I only asked for one weekend. They enthusiastically agreed so I started working, always on time, never called off... after a month or more I asked for a particular weekend off and they said, oh no we can't do that, it wouldn't be fair, I reminded them of the agreement, and they still said no. So I worked and found another job that the business was closed on weekends and then gave my notice. They immediately said, oh we can let you have the weekend off, just stay. I said no, I quit. I wasn't going to continue working for someone that lied to me.

[@ForbiddenFish]

Absolutely. Not only that, but then that means that down the line, when they promise you something, say a raise, are they actually going to give it to you or not? Money talks, bullshit walks..

[@raz7573]

I had this happen to me while in college working retail. It was at a small retail store. I could not work on Saturdays due to sports and having games on Saturdays. They said I could work Sundays and two weeknights but they kept scheduling me for Saturdays. There were part timers there who didn’t work weekends at all. Once the season started I told them there is no way I can work Saturdays for the next 16 weeks. They scheduled me for Saturday and said if I didn’t come in I would be fired. I didn’t go in, got fired and collected unemployment.

[@Azulakayes]

I love story 2 and all these shiny spines over here! It makes my heart soar!

[@brigidtheirish]

In my experience with trying to get jobs, regular availability is part of the process *before* accepting the position. So, yeah, what that office did to you sucks and was effectively a breach of contract. In the story, Lacey told OP about the vacation *while* accepting the position and OP said he'd *try* to accommodate her. That didn't work out because a senior employee already had those days set aside and there weren't enough employees on the roster to make it work. He couldn't tell the senior employee he was no longer getting his vacation in favor of a brand-new hire. He made a mistake in not informing Lacey prior to posting the schedule, but that's the *only* mistake I can see here.

[@jennydrake491]

@@brigidtheirish I was very surprised by the YTA votes for the manager who couldn't give the new employee vacation time. I guess I'm old, but in my time you had to work a certain number of months before you'd get a week off from work. And whenever my DH changed jobs he wasn't able to take vacations for quite a while, even if we had been planning one before the job change.

[@krystinreives7776]

I honestly wish that somebody or Opie could’ve said that to the boyfriend “have fun trying to find a girl that’s spineless enough to tolerate him and his mothers abuse because it sure as heck ain’t gonna be me “

[@KuroAlis]

S3: NTA, not only is the mom teaching the kid that she doesn't have bodily autonomy, she just showed that child that she loves her hair, not her. What a terrible parent and person in general.

[@madisonl3401]

Your significant other should ALWAYS have your back to anyone else, including his own family. If you were in the wrong, he can tell you that later when you guys are alone. But in front of others, they need to have your back.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

To an extent. Obviously if you’re being bigoted or something then it’s better if your partner tells you that you need to stop. But if it’s just that you’re being a little immature or something insignificant then they should have you’re back. Or if they think you’re ‘overreacting a bit’ but you’re not entirely in the wrong then they should support you and then after they should tell you that maybe next time just to take a deep breath first but they’ll always have your back.

[@pansprayers]

There are exceptions to that. If you stand there while your SO is being a bigot, bully or behaving unacceptably, and you simply let that ride and only 'say something in private', you're a problem.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Yeah if you’re not willing to put your SO first, that’s a problem. Also depending how toxic the family is towards your SO and you don’t go no contact you don’t deserve to be with that person.

[@madisonl3401]

@@pansprayers Yes, I agree. If someone is being a bigot, racist, entitled AF or rude, their SO needs to say something. But in an event like this, the SO seriously messed up.

[@helenlewis2510]

I need updates for all these, especially for the mom having a temper tantrum over her daughter getting her hair cut.

[@fcold9402]

1. NTA. The check in clerk was correct. The mother embarrassed herself as did the boyfriend for standing up for mommy.

[@Nonprofitgenie]

Story 3: I hope we get an update for this one, I really want to know what is up with the mother in that story!

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Either the mother is mad about the extreme haircut the kid had that NO PARENT should have said yes to, or she was mad that her husband, the OP, went behind her back rather than discussing it with her. Possibly a combo of both. If the kid was that upset and crying after seeing her mother's reaction, wait until that poor kid gets home from school the next day. She will be devasted and bawling her eyes out from all the teasing she will get from other kids because her dad was an idiot and didn't have enough common sense to guide his 8-year-old daughter to a less extreme haircut or just said, NO. We are talking about an 8-year-old and not a teenager. Sometimes, as a good parent, you have to tell your kids, NO. NO you may not drink alcohol as a kid, NO you may not stay out all night as a kid, NO you cannot go on vacation out of the country as a kid. It's pretty easy to say NO.

[@aliblul2997]

Story 3: NTA - I have thick hair and my Mom has very thin hair, she loved my hair long. Every time I wanted to cut it off she refused to let me, so I'd go to my grandma's house and ask her to take me so I could get it cut off. I've had pixie cuts since I was in my 20s and I wouldn't change it for anything. Wife needs to let it go.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Anna is such a little rebel and I love it. She was tired of her mom controlling what she does to her hair and having no say. So she had it cut short so her mom can’t do anything to it. The moms reaction is very concerning

[@carolroberts4614]

It sounds as if it hurt her quite a bit too! Thick curly hair would be really painful if someone just drags the brush through, instead of teasing out any tangles! My hair was really thick, and it was kept short as a child, my mum had four girls with the same sort of hair! I grew it long once I was older though. It did take a lot of care though.

[@becauselifts9913]

Story 2: I'm in corporate middle management with 20 odd direct reports. If I hire someone, I ask after on boarding about schedules/vacay/religious times to ensure they're accommodated. Good on her for walking!

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea, but OP's not really in the wrong here either cause they did try, just like they said they would, they had no idea that someone that had been there longer was already taking time off, the only mistake OP made was not telling her sooner then just letting her find out.

[@mzdrea9468]

@@zerobolt9506 thank you. She didn’t agree but said she would try. Someone else already had pto. She has to mange the expectation of her current staff that she knows is doing a good job. I promise you that they would have an issue with doing the new girls work.

[@hannahwishon9958]

Story 2: I have a similar experience to Lacy! I got a part-time job at 18 and told my new employer a month in advance that I needed time off for a family vacation. She never trained me in how to use the system to clock in/take time off so I wasn't able to. I reminded her a little over 2 weeks in advance about the vacation we talked about during the interview. She fired me right before my vacation. YTA.

[@lorifiedler13]

Fired. Collect unemployment.

[@mimiandy1683]

I think Anna’s mom is one of those parents that obsessed and damn near fetishized certain physical features of their child. I know folks, who intentionally procreated with people with preferred physical features, because they want children with those features.

[@WobblesandBean]

Anna's mom is a complete psycho. She doesn't see her child as a person, but her property.

[@theother5594]

That is sick 🤢

[@robertx8020]

Next: a force children's beauty contest!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

@@robertx8020 It probably IS forced in many (if not most) cases already. With pageant moms, their kids are just an extension of their own ego and it shows.

[@dorbie]

Boss from hell asks if they're the asshole. Amazingly oblivious. I've heard the mirror version of this story so many times and the denied vacation despite early assurances is always just the beginning of the abuse.

[@DindellaTheDefender]

Story 2, OP really had no choice but to go behind their partner’s back. Partner was getting into screaming matches with a literal child over a haircut-that is emotionally abusive and controlling. That poor kid. OP, send your partner those photos you took. Send those photos of y’all’s daughter smiling and eagerly posing for pictures. That’s all you need to say to your partner, because those pictures are worth more then words in this scenario. Your partner didn’t get to see that joy, because she immediately ruined her kid’s joy. Show her. Show her what she needs to see, what she needs to know.

[@audreym3908]

Not story 2, story 3

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I want to see the pictures of the kid bawling her eyes out after she comes home from school that first day and got teased royally for her buzz haircut. Sometimes, as a parent, you have to tell your kids, NO. OP is the A-hole because he should have guided the 8-YEAR-OLD girl to a less crazy haircut and also because he went behind his wife's back rather than sitting down with her and trying to find a happy middle ground. The girl is 8, not a teenager, and sometimes being a good parent means telling your kid, NO, when it is required.

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@thomasjoseph5876 telling your kid no is for things like "can I stay up late on school night?", "can I eat dessert for dinner", or "can I run across the street without looking both ways". Telling your kid "no" over a haircut is pathetic, controlling, and way too many parents see their kids as extensions of themselves and that shit needs to stop. Kindly piss off.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Sadly, given that the mother hasn't seemed to age out of "throw a tantrum when you don't get your way", the daughter's happiness isn't going to mean as much as mommy dearests' hurt fee fees. Overly controlling, toxic parents need to be called out for what they are.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@khaleesireyna731 How much of the mother's overreaction do you suppose is true??? The OP showed he is an idiot for allowing his kid to get such an extreme haircut and also going behind his wife's back with discussing it with her. I don't put much faith in the OP dad. IF, the mother reacted like that, how much was about the haircut and how much was because her husband went behind her back???

[@TheIronwil]

Last Story: I get so angry at these stories where the jerk family members are sided with… instead of the spouse! That’s categorically insane. Why would I bond myself to someone for life, only to throw them under the bus when some asshole in my family vents their spleen? Why would anyone? I seriously don’t get that. If someone made a disparaging comment to my wife publicly, I would ask if they wanted my response in private or if they wanted me to castigate them in front of everyone. There would be no confusion as to where my loyalty and support belonged. It’s heartbreaking and (I believe) sick.

[@robertx8020]

But but but ..the BIL needs sympathy because he was such an AH to his wife that she left him!! It's not his fault (yes, it is) but that woman that didn't except his abuse Feel sorry for him and accept his abuse! /s

[@cheshiredeimos1874]

S4: Sounds like the Sisters-in-Law need to start a wine club and align themselves against the bullshit.

[@itazuranakisu]

The last husband needs to get his act together and his parents otherwise there will be two divorced sons living with them. BIL is at fault for his divorce and is being enabled by those three instead of holding him accountable. Someone needed to call him out on his BS and stop treating him with kid gloves. He’s a man who blew up his marriage for behaviors he refuses to change. Only a woman he severely beats down mentally would be with that sort of man.

[@Raaslen]

Story 4: NTA, don't punch if you can't handle getting hit, or as we say here in my country "don't throw stones at your neighbor's roof if yours is made out of glass"

[@ajzephyros7454]

Mages in glass houses shouldn't throw fireballs

[@iSmileyPerson]

Last story- I’d turn it around on BIL. “Um…why are you looking at my clevage?” And when he says something predictable like, “Well it’s right there out in the open.” Just be like…”That doesn’t mean you have to look at it…that’s creepy…” Then use your body language to show that you’re creeped out and uncomfortable. Spin it on him. It’s his fault. He brought it up. He was the one looking.

[@Ospyro3em]

My heart broke for OP in Story 1. Good thing she broke with him there and then- that holiday would have been nothing but humiliation for her. While the mother is an arsehole in this story, now ex boyfriend is the bigger one.

[@HaaraAki]

YTA: How can you not accommodate something you knew before this person was working was sheduled. If they didn't work there, same issue.

[@connorburnett21]

That’s just how things work. New hires are always the last on the list for vacations, however if they already had plans then they need to be accommodated. However if someone is short staffed and someone already out, then you get put on the schedule. Boohoo if that’s not fair, but guess what? Life not fair

[@Arylwren1]

Because new hires shouldn't get priority over those who worked there longer or put their request in first. Also, Op said they would try, but this isn't a guarantee.

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

Story 1: The mom said she happened to have a free coach ticket...so how can the bf say OP was wasting everyone's time and money? 🤔What was to stop them from going without her, since clearly none of them care that much about her? ...of course I don't believe the mom got one second, I'm just saying, the bf knew what his mom was doing... or he's just an idiot. Or both. I vote both.

[@jennilynne1977]

When I got my first job, I had plane tickets to go to my mom's house in another state and I told the manager who hired me that I needed such and such days off because I already had plane tickets. The manager made sure I had those days off. I hope everyone is having a great day/evening/night! Peace, hugs and love everyone!

[@zerobolt9506]

To be fair to the OP in story 2, they did say they're try, they should've told her ahead of time, but what was OP meant to do, they were hiring her cause they needed people, another person that had been there longer had the time off for them days already, also not every place will just give you time like that, I work at Amazon & you get like 10 hours, just a day of pay time when you start, you've got to build your time here to take off, if it was here she'd tried to work, they'd just not hire her, neither was wrong here, OP was just caught off guard here, he really didn't do anything to get him fired like that one commenter said he should be, also they keep saying OP agreed, but no he didn't, he said he'll try.

[@Tyler171819]

“He’S dEprSsed!!” I’m always depressed, you don’t see me trying to dictate people’s outfits 🤪

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 3: As someone with ASD and touch issues around my hair. What OPs wife is doing to their daughter DAILY sounds like torture. Anna was smiling and happy and showing their true self and colors for a moment only to have their mom pull that stunt apon seeing her. That's going to fuck Anna up hard regardless of the outcome (mom coming home or... finding mom). I hope OP updates.

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 3: BIIIIG NTA! Take this from someone who has curly hair: curly hair is a lot of WORK. You can’t use most products in the store, your products are more expensive, you need a bunch of extra products to make your hair look good, it tangles if you look at it wrong, it forms its own atmosphere around your head, it stays wet for around 5 hours (depending on length). It’s exhausting and can be painful. My dad spent a lot of time when I was young brushing my hair and keeping it nice, a lot like this mom. I wouldn’t say that my dad was obsessed with my hair, but he wanted to make sure it was taken care of because I couldn’t. It took a long time and was very painful (curly hair gets very tangled, he wasn’t purposefully hurting me). All this being said, I can totally understand why Anna wouldn’t want long hair anymore. She’s old enough to choose her own hair style. OP shouldn’t need to run it by his wife because it’s not her choice, it’s Anna’s.

[@jessilyngray1223]

I went to a job interview and said "my best friends wedding is this date I'm in the wedding I've bought my fight and booked my hotel if you're not able to accommodate me then we should end this now." They said it would be fine and they had more interviews and I had. A short interview I know I wasn't getting the job not that it mattered

[@sablemoreno5095]

For story 3: my grandma did the same to my mom, minus the taking care of it part- my mom's hair would tangle really easy but my grandma refused to let her cut it so she took scissors and snipped a section so she had to let her get it cut. Then she kept moving her head during the cut to force the stylist to cut it shorter to make it even. It's like when you deny kids things because YOU like it one way they'll find loopholes to get their way 😶 who would have thought? I mean I wouldn't doubt that one day Anna would have gotten the spur of the moment instinct and action to chop a section of her hair when left unsupervised for more than 5 seconds. The wife is completely out of line and has something wrong with her (via narcissistic or some other mental thing) if she's reacting by throwing a tantrum and running away the first time she doesn't get her way in the situation. I'd be concerned that her controlling behavior isn't just limited to the hair thing and would be reevaluating everything about the relationship to make sure nothing else is wrong

[@jeanipin3430]

1: the attendant at the airport check in noticed from her post, so I am sure many others in the queue heard too, that means the bf's mother really did embarrass herself in public. I hope he feels proud to have such a creature for a mother, cannot think of anyone else who would be

[@concretecaveman7666]

Story #2 Classic example. People don't quit their jobs they quit their bosses.

[@court529]

I have never been in that position, but I have hired several people who had vacations already scheduled. We always accommodated their plans because they let us know up front.

[@michaellatta7699]

This is why I like to listen to stories with updates. Its frustrating to hear a story and then never hear an outcome.

[@autumn557]

Oooooh a whole 100$ wasted on a crappy coach ticket. What a travesty. That boyfriend is a piece of spam.

[@lsilvaeditor]

Last Story: Lol, OP is a legend.

[@kateemma22]

Shoutout to the check-in lady.

[@clairebear-96]

BIL in the last story: “huh controlling what my wife could wear or do really pissed her off and made her leave…… well, time to do the same thing to my brother’s wife!” Like bruh did you learn NOTHING. OP’s response was hilarious tho NTA

[@krystinreives7776]

Story 1: this story really irks me but at the same time OP dodged a bullet don’t go with people who clearly don’t appreciate you. The fact that her boyfriend literally watched as his mom just ridiculed humiliated his girlfriend is just sitting here all smug and never said a word proves that this guy doesn’t have a spine or even the world to speak up for himself and he’s even more mindless to think that Opie telling his mom that she’s a jerk is somehow bad. I’m happy that she listen to the flight attendant and got away from the people who clearly don’t appreciate her and I think she dodged a bullet by leaving him if he wasn’t going to defend you and he just been like this whenever his mom behaves in such a terrible way and just sits there just watching but think it’s all angry when you tell her that she’s being a jerk and he starts blowing up your phone acting all offended where was that with a P needed it. This guy clearly values his mother over his own relationship I honestly feel bad for any other girl that gets caught with this idiot or any type of mama’s boy for that matter

[@esurges]

#3 That kid was real close to grabbing scissors and doing it herself.

[@Jaxycle]

I just quit my job that made me unhappy, and I'm planning to go back to school!!! Woohoo!

[@FlamesofJagger]

🤗🤗🤗 good luck. Hope everything goes well for you

[@carolroberts4614]

That's great! Best of luck to you!

[@elizabethrossi7604]

1: OP didn’t waste any money. The ticket was free!!!

[@milo0230]

2nd story… I don't know a company that wouldn't have accommodated her for her to take a vacation.. If you make it known up front in your interview that you have a vacation planned that they need to accommodate then you would take the job that company would accommodate you. This guy is a jerk. This guy did not do his do diligence and go and ask HR how they could accommodate her vacation. Instead he made the decision himself.. He did not follow through and he is a horrible manager

[@lostshadows768]

I think it's telling in the last story that OP's SiL was on her side. I'm betting she's not his only target and his sister is fed up with it too.

[@realotiswashington]

Story 3: NTA. I thought it was going to be an ESH, boy was I wrong. Anna's feelings come first. Wife was way out of line with how she handled this revelation. That sexist broad at the salon can sit and spin. There are plenty girls who have short hair and look nothing like a boy. OP, buddy, as a fellow dude I'd recommend learning how to use some of those haircare products. Your daughter will need help keeping her hair healthy until her mother gets her issues straightened out. As well as maybe personal use. Men's haircare is just as important. Story 4: NTA. If brother in law were my son, he'd have my hand across his face in seconds.

[@Bajeffrey]

Last story. Wear a clown suit to dinner and tell the brother in-law that you covered up for him. Lol 😆

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Haircut story:* The daughter is old enough to know how she wants her own hair cut. I was an anxious child and was often happy to let my mother tell the hairdresser how she wanted my hair to be cut. The second I finally decided for myself how I wanted my hair cut, my mom fought with me. We ended up taking the fight all the way to the hairdresser where my mom, being the grown adult she is, made the stylist settle our dispute. The stylist immediately took my side, scolding my mother for not allowing me to express myself in the way I wanted to. She even told my mother that the haircut she wanted me to have was better suited to a middle aged woman, not a literal child. She then softly told me that while she thought the haircut would look great on me, it would not only damage my hair, but I would not like the level of maintenence required to keep up the look. (This was around 2010 btw...I'm sure some of you can guess what the haircut was.) She then offered to give me a more mild version of that haircut. One with a lot of the key factors I wanted, but was much easier to maintain. I've been getting my hair cut the same way ever since that day and am still thankful to that stylist for standing up to my mother when I was not able to.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

The new hire story seems to have been *heavily* edited down by the time some channels have gotten to it. In the one on Redd Droid, OP droned on about how he was misused by his job at 17; he had to attend, I believe, his mum's funeral, and they wouldn't give him time off. So he decided that if he was abused by his job, others needed to just suck it up and work non-stop too. Another worker asked for time off as well to attend an event for her child. He denied her vaction too. He called both Lacey and the second worker bad workers and *admitted* to his silent policy of no time off. He thinks the HR meeting is overblown and that he's getting in trouble because he insists that all of the workers are lazy for wanting time off and vacation time.

[@mzgreenjeansapproves]

Wow so basically OP is a little b#tch and now overcompensates.

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

1. People of real class and distinction understand MANNERS. Obviously, someone's trashy mother has neither.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Oh to be a fly on the wall when he goes in to talk to his boss about why his new hired just quit. I wonder if he's going to point out that he didn't give her the vacation time that she asked when she conditionally accepted the job. YTA 🤦‍♀️🤦🤦‍♂️

[@Arylwren1]

Op never told them that they would get the time off, only that they would try. If someone else, with more seniority or put their request in first, then that employee should get their time off.

[@dulcilass]

She took the position after being told that they would TRY to accommodate her schedule. She didn't listen. There was no guarantee that the vacation time would be scheduled, just that they'd try, but they couldn't. NTA

[@philwill0123]

@@dulcilass no, it was bait and switch. She had non refundable tickets, and it was conditional on her acceptance that she gets time off. Pretty much every job I have taken ask on acceptance any time off or holiday they will have to honour. OP schedules time off. He knew immediately whether she could have that time off at acceptance. Instead, he waited till last moment deliberately.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@dulcilass Nope, they offered her the job knowing she needed it off and they ok'ed it ahead of time. That info never made it down to the manager who does the scheduling either by accident or on purpose because they knew she couldn't get the time off. The OP should have gone to HR to find out what the issue was but they didn't and because of that, they lost a good new employee. Typical lack of communication between departments at a medium and large-sized business. Any manager worth their salt would have tried to figure out what was going on but the OP is too lazy. Everyone is the A-hole except the new employee that quit.

[@sboyle536]

An approved, UNPAID leave would probably have satisfied the new hire. Few jobs are worth costing a worker $2500. Good for her.

[@Koltonhogue]

Haircut story: NTA. When I was younger I always wanted my hair short and the shortest my mom would let me go was to just past my shoulders. When I was 20 I finally cut it all off and I loved it. I wish my mom let me when I was younger so I could’ve experimented with different styles. Let her cut her damn hair. Parents are so weird about their kids hair.

[@damien678]

My mum finally let me get my hair cut short when I was 16... but she wept at the hairdresser's place with my aunt there for emotional support 💀💀💀

[@mask938]

@@damien678 Your mom is a drama queen.

[@damien678]

@@mask938 She refused to look at me for DAYS when I was 14 and just gave myself like... half a fringe.

[@mask938]

@@damien678 What a drama queen.

[@cyndib511]

Money obviously can't buy class or decency.

[@rylashadow18]

I'm giving my hand and fingies a nice bit of rest after sending out so much appreciation. S1) We're all proud of you OP. You had someone reach out to you when you needed someone the most I only hope you realize you can't change a mama's boi into a real man. I hope you're getting help with whatever you need and are on your way to your best life. S2) I'd leave too. I'd get it in writting that I was getting this time off that you knew greatly ahead of time. S3) Your daughter has a right to how she wants her hair to look as well as her own rights to her body. Wifey needs to learn that by treating your daughter as her own personal dress up doll is how you breed resentment in your child. That one day daughter may very well decide that she doesn't want anything to do with her mother and distance herself from her. That'd be on the wifey not the daughter for not respecting boundaries. S4) OP tell your husband that if he feels his brother staring at your chest and demeaning you is acceptable he's more than welcomed to go stay with his parents until he realizes that no one has a right to demean you regardless of what they're going through. Tell him he's not allowed back unless he can agree to counseling as well as demand that you get an apology for your sexist BIL's comment. If he can't/ won't agree to counseling you need to start looking into what a divorce may look like for you cause then your hubby's proving he and his whole family need to take their rumps to the dumps.

[@aoifemuller3751]

S4) And that's the nice way to do it. I'd just dip out straight away. No point in staying with someone who doesn't respect me enough to shut his sexist bro up.

[@JustSomeStoriesGuy]

Story 2: op never promised the accommodation just said that they will try (not trying to start a fight or anything just for people reading the comments to know more about the situation)

[@aoifemuller3751]

@@JustSomeStoriesGuy Except they didn't and made it seem fine when they should have contacted the employee about that. Conditions are conditions.

[@rmhartman]

you aren't last for vacation if you negotiate it ahead of time

[@linkinlady06]

Story 4: if I was sitting at that table I would be cackling SO LOUD!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OP's pettiness bravo!

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 3: the comment about body autonomy was spot on! As well about the concerning behaviour of the mum.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Anyone who hates on you Mark for not seeing Tangled isn't a true Waffle! To help you with the gist of the phrase, Mother Gothel is obsessed with staying "young" and used a magic flower to do this, but low and behold the queen gets sick and said flower is to help her... and as a result Rapunzel gets magical healing hair that can heal and in Gothel's case stay young. Oh, and Eugene and Maximus are awesome!

[@ajzephyros7454]

That attendant is the hero we all need

[@wangdangatomictango]

Parents really need to stop treating children like god damn sims or toys. Children are people. Mom needs to understand this, or end up having a child that resents her. It won't end at just her hair, it'll also extend to how she dresses too. It gets worse if the child realizes they're trans or gnc later in life. Husband did the correct thing but he needs to wake his wife up now to her behavior.

[@aidenandoreo6667]

And weight. And how to do makeup

[@clairebear-96]

Lol Mark if you don’t know, Tangled is a Rapunzel story so Gothel is the evil step mum who controls her hair and her life :)

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

3- NTA OP's wife didn't see Ana as a person but a toy that she gets to dress up and play with. 4- NTA he's such a misogynist that his wife left him, and if OP's husband doesn't shape up he should be next on the chopping block.

[@AM-cv9fi]

"wasted everyone's time and money" Ummm, excuse you? Your mom said she had a free coach ticket and OP was about to pay a baggage fee. Screw that whole family.

[@ajwinberg]

I had something similar almost happen to me when I accepted a job. I had a non refundable vacation and almost didn't get it even though they I told them about it right off the bat. If they didn't understand this, I would have quit too. Fortunately, they let me go.

[@dharris2005]

Haircut story- my dad did this when I was around 2nd/3rd grade I was an extreme tomboy always had short hair and looked like a boy (had even got kicked out of the girls bathroom a few times) One day my mom took me and my sister to the salon and we came home with like Farrah Fossett hair style. I was crying so hard that my dad took me back and cut it off. My mom was upset yelling to my dad “she’s a girl!!” He just responded “SHE HATES IT. SHE IS CRYING!” She dropped it and never forced hairstyles on me again. Miss him so much.

[@ladyofthelake93]

Kudos to the baggage lady for helping that girl see the exit sign! I'm glad OP walked and didn't get stuck in a hotel with those toxic people.

[@kaimikalaniYT]

My mother refused to let anyone cut my hair. She said only she could so my hair because no one knew how to handle my hair, because she and I ‘share the same hair’. We don’t. I have my dads hair. I cut my own hair once, and also went to a hair stylist as well, and she blew her lid and punished me for it. As soon as she lost rights to see me, at 14, the first thing I did was get my chopped off and dyed. I am now 21 and I quite enjoy getting my hair cut and dyed and doing my hair my way. I know I would never do what my mother did to me, and with my hair, to my children

[@Davtwan]

“And wasted everyone’s time and money.” Yeah, cause _that’s_ the most important part. 🙄 May boyfriend’s family have terrible Thanksgivings until they learn actual and sincere empathy.

[@chaseashley6775]

13:39 I literally screamed. YOUR GOTTA SEE IT! Tangled is so so good

[@minisnakali]

Story 3: NTA I'm incredibly worried about OP's daughter, the mother is basically abusing her teaching a child she has no say over her body is horrifying I hope OP stays close with his daughter and listens to her because her mom sure as hell doesn't sound like she will.

[@BitterSimplicity]

"Darling, why is your brother looking at my breasts at the dinner table?" And watch the chaos unfold.

[@moonlightwolf]

Story 3: NTA. When you become a parent, your priority becomes your child, not your partner and not yourself. My mother RUINED my hair because of how she didn't bother to learn to properly care for curly hair or letting me do it myself, and 20 years later, my hair is still incredibly damaged and will likely never recover

[@drakeloki4214]

When it comes to the vacation story every place I've worked accommodates for time off for trips or special occasions along as the person is up front with it, with the understanding it would not be paid.

[@rubymeaddle]

This ^^^

[@ladyv5655]

2nd story. I love this labor market. People don't quit jobs, they quit employers.

[@DJScopeSOFM]

Oh man the vacation one is ridiculous. You are entering into a contract when you give that condition when accepting employment. She could sue you for lost wages as she could've taken the other job. Now she's out of pocket and has to look for other employment. How are these employers so clueless? Huge AH

[@charliesangel1]

Story 3 I felt bad for the lil girl my mom always feathered my hair grown up I hated it tried I stop her but yeah it didn't work I told her I didn't like it but she disregarded my feelings did it anyways. It took YEARS to get it out of my hair. I understand that lil girl more than anyone knows.

[@D-D-Gaming]

Story 2. I had something similar happen to me. I applied to a job, got an interview, told the lady I was leaving for a month and a half. She said it was fine. a few weeks before I leave I go up to management to make sure they knew. She didn't know, HR never told them. I asked her if it was ok and she said I might not have a full time job but a part time job when I came back. I said thats ok as long as I have a job to come back to and she said yes. half wait through my abscence, they let me go. I saw an ad online for my position... they never filled it for the rest of the season. (Ski resort, so seasonal job).

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Yta. She told you straight out she couldnt work during that time.

[@owl7072]

Story 3: Wife literally does not care about your child's happiness Op. She blatantly ignored her in hopes that she'd forget about something she desperately wanted simply because _she_ didn't want it. She looked at your child, saw how happy they were, and cried while locking herself away in her room then getting in her car and speeding off without a word of where she's going or when she'll be back. She's _punishing_ your daughter by making it _known_ she's upset before leaving all because daughter did something that made her happy rather than being her mother's quiet, complacent _doll_ who just shuts up and let's her do whatever she wants until she's satisfied. Do you _really_ want someone like that around your kid? Edit: MARK! /lh You gotta watch Tangled, man. It's a favorite of mine for many reasons.

[@SharmClucas]

My mom used to do the same type of thing with me and my hair. I'm in my 40's and I still have a physical reaction to a certain type of hairclip she always made me wear, and that's even though my dad stepped in around the same age and forced my mom to back off and let me do what I wanted. I don't think the dad is the jerk here, this is such a huge thing for this little girl, she'll remember this forever.

[@kayq3231]

when I was 20, I had a planned trip over seas that was nearly 3 months long. got a new job and when I was interviewing, I told them about it. they told me to write down when I would leave and to email them a week before I'd be able to work again. everything went fine

[@oneproudpeacock6901]

I always wondered manager's POV when they don't deliver the promise of an employee's time off.

[@stoney1277]

Story 2. I interviewed for a job many many years ago and told them I would be getting married/1week honeymoon in only 3 months. I was given that time, without pay. So for sure manager is the ahole

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@FlamesofJagger]

🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗🤗💛💛🤗🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗🤗💯💯

[@Xokoy]

I don't know about the US, since they did mention dollars in the second story, but here in the UK what happened in the second story is illegal. When an employer takes on an employee and is informed about any holiday that was booked before the employee got the job, the employer has to honour that holiday by law. OP would be dealing with more than just an angry manager and a YTA rating if they tried to pull that stunt over here.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Six minutes after it was posted I got the notice! Awesome!