My Brain is a Symphony

The Stitchery: @gettheetothestitchery
IG: / gettheetothestitchery
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There's no video about the piece I'm sewing this week, sorry! It's just a long-term freehand piece I mostly work on while traveling, using all my leftover embroidery floss in unplanned running stitches.

[@K.Arashi]

i love when the power goes out because there's finally real silence. no electricity in the walls or the hum of the fridge. just pure blissful quiet

[@kathyjohnson2043]

Yes, the hum of a fridge😳

[@KandyLamb]

Totally! The quiet even wakes me up at night when that happens. Then I sleep like a baby ;)

[@TheFeralFarmgirl]

Not me. Everything in my head just gets louder. 😣

[@lifeofjoy9404]

Yes!! And remember how quiet things became in the worst of the pandemic? I felt guilty for enjoying the silence of no traffic on the roads, rails and skies!

[@jaybee4118]

@@TheFeralFarmgirlsame. The day I could get wireless headphones so I could walk around and drown out my own thoughts without being tied to a spot or carry a heavy device (I’m old, it’s been going on for a long time) so I didn’t disturb my silence loving partner was bliss.

[@kathymarshall220]

I feel this so hard! Can we vote for you as a neurodiversity ambassador because this is the absolute best description of sensory integration issues I’ve ever heard! ❤ I genuinely believed that everyone heard the electricity running through the wiring in their walls for the longest time. It was only when I was having my autism assessment and she asked about my hearing that I found out that apparently most people don’t… I was 40! Also, totally get the “things are touching me” thing. I struggle wearing glasses, I can’t use tampons, and I can’t wear my dentures even though it means looking an absolute mess with my missing teeth. I am always aware that they’re there and it just sends me into overload almost immediately.

[@apcolleen]

I used to wear ear plugs underneath my headset at work when I was doing tech support. I would also always wear them to concerts. I got my hearing tested at my ENTs office at age 40 and the technician thought that I was faking being able to hear high pitches So she made one that is basically inaudible and I grimaced so hard and she said you can hear that?! I said kind of I feel it more than I hear it. I have the hearing of someone in my twenties It's a blessing and a curse.

[@carolinebissonnette1969]

I have a really hard time too with things touching me, including my glasses, but It's the complete opposite for me about tampons. For years I thought my periods made me nauseous, but when I tried tampons, I realised it was the constant contact of the pad on that sensitive area that made me feel that way. I mean I knew I hated the feel of them but it never occurred to me that my constant feeling of "I'm gonna throw up" was directly linked to that gross feeling. Tampons were a total game changer for me, although, thank goodness for menopause!

[@kathymarshall220]

@@carolinebissonnette1969 I struggled with pads too, they were just the lesser of two evils for me. Thank goodness someone invented period pants, because they are an absolute game changer for me, especially now I’m perimenopausal and all my sensory issues have gone batshit insane 😳 PS (be warned, younger ND womb havers, things get weird after your mid 30s, way worse than early teens or pregnancy. You will think you’re going insane before you realise what’s happening, it’s normal but also get your iron and B vitamin levels checked too because those can make it worse if they’re low 😉 Nobody warned me, so I try to warn others because learning the hard way sucked!)

[@psukebariah3435]

I don't always hear the hum of wires, but when I do it eats *all* my attention. I hate it so very very much.

[@jujubesification]

​@@psukebariah3435that must be so annoying. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

[@alisalarsen9163]

You brought up giving birth naturally in your apartment. I couldn't breathe, stop myself from screaming, let alone think, during active natural labor. You definitely have a high pain tolerance. I am interested in hearing that story, but only if it is something you feel comfortable sharing.

[@CantinhodasInspirações]

Same here. My sister had the same experience and I am still trying to understand how could she be so strong.

[@skeinofadifferentcolor2090]

My oldest and youngest were born completely naturally. My oldest was born via water birth at a birthing center, youngest was delivered naturally in the hospital. The only reason why I had to deliver my youngest in the hospital was because our middle child had to be born via emergency C-section which means that I will never be able to give birth in a birthing center or in my home because of where I live.

[@PedalThumper]

I too have so many questions and would love to hear this story.

[@kristinemunchkin]

I second this. If nothing else because i feel it makes you basically a super as far as im concerned. I know it's "how it was always done" but that doesn't make it any less amazing to me it just puts more people on the list. ​@PedalThumper

[@BobSuzanne]

Also interested in hearing more about this story!!!

[@veebeelights]

I've described the experience of my mind as a rainbow spaghetti tornado, but the way you describe the stream of conciousness, in layers, is so much more accurate to my experience too. You're right, we should talk about this kind of things more!

[@msnbutterfly1]

Your "rainbow spaghetti tornado" reminds me of the project she's working on and shows us at the end xoxo

[@mfox4189]

Me too! The first time I took ADHD meds, I realized why others could remember so much! My thoughts normally were as chaotic as a spiderweb that had gone through a hurricane, while meds made them more like railroad tracks and sometimes another train would appear within sight, but I could stay with the current train until it finished its journey and remember to go to the other train and possibly complete the journey with that train.

[@memawkellysfarm]

Not wiping off the kiss but RUBBING it in is what I used to tell my kids.

[@leeway3739]

You just so casually dropped the "I gave birth in a bathtub" comment...um what? How is that not the video now? That is going to live rent free in my head for the next week lol

[@apcolleen]

She spoke about it in a previous video I think on her other channel.

[@marymugge1523]

@@apcolleen Do you happen to know which video? I'm curious but I don't want to pry into a really sensitive topic.

[@skeinofadifferentcolor2090]

I gave birth in a bathtub, granted it was at a birthing center because I did not want my neighbors to hear me delivering our eldest. I wanted that same experience with all three of my kids, but unfortunately my middle one had to be born via emergency C-section, and the hospital refused to even give me a laboring tub with our youngest.

[@wacqjacq]

@@marymugge1523 I believe it was her 100K Q&A video. She seemed open to talk about it then.

[@marymugge1523]

@@wacqjacq thank you I will go watch it.

[@Bigsistermeg]

You'll be happy to know that I, as a tutor who specializes with neurodivergent kids, spend a LOT of time at work asking, "what happens in your brain when X happens?" or "can your brain do X or Y more easily?" in order to help them. I work WITH their brains and not against them. My whole focus is equipping these kids with ways to work with their brains to make the world around them more accessible, because the public school system can't handle catering to every single different individual brain. In fact, one of the first things that I do when I start with a new client is I have them take an aphantasia test, because you have to teach somebody SO MUCH DIFFERENTLY if they can physically picture and manipulate images in their brain vs if they cannot. All of this comes because I, too, spend so much time analyzing how my brain works and wanting to know how everyone else's brains work so that I can better understand them. If that was a more common conversation, the world would be a better place. Side note, "Nuance and complexity are not exactly trendy currently, are they?" made me laugh. I live in a constant state of searching for nuance, so the fact that so many people do not appreciate the nuance of life has always been somewhat stressful for me.

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

Oh wow, I'm in tears, what an amazing gift to give those kids ❤

[@richardjanetmyers8707]

I just read an article by someone with aphantasia and SAMD ( I think that's it-- not much autobiographical memory). She thinks it makes it easier for her to be mentally quietand focus mindfully in the present. Sounds like a super power. Though I do like running my mental movies.

[@rosaliac.386]

Omg same at your last paragraph/note. I'm constantly baffled and often infuriated by the seemingly common, blatant disregard+disinterest for the nuances that make up the human experience. Love that I'm finding more people who have the complex thoughts and want to have in depth conversations❤

[@ronaldbrochu8621]

💝💝💝💝From Angele: I am a grand-mother of 4 neuro-divergent grands. (From Canada) Can you point me in the right direction on how "to equip these kids with ways to work with their brains"? That would be so helpful. 💝💝💝💝

[@roberthickman4092]

That sounds like a fantastic approach and we really need to normalise this. I have aphantasia.

[@commasplyce]

For me, the metaphor of my brain being a browser with two dozen tabs open and at least one of them is playing music has been pretty apt. And I also tell myself stories in my head to put myself to sleep or when I'm daydreaming! Thank you for sharing this! I love the idea of your brain as a symphony. 🎶

[@vernieplummer5148]

I cannot believe that you are describing the earworm phenomenon perfectly. I often have to look up the song on KZbin and listen to it, because I’m so sick and tired of hearing that one line over and over.

[@Fayreview-l0m8n]

I've always explained my brain as a flock of birds. When I'm having a good day, it's starlings, they're all moving together. On a less good day, it's like pigeons scattering when a dog runs at them.

[@julianachandler2975]

When I met the man who is now my husband, I said,”people say I think too much”. He replied, “people don’t think enough” ❤ The closest I ever get to having a quiet brain, is listening to calming instrumental music while I paint. Of course, I’m thinking about painting, not about nothing. That is unimaginable.

[@anniejonsson7963]

You have an amazing ability to verbalize and describe your experiences. I have never heard anyone explain their brain like this, and it is so relatable 🤯. Now I am quite excited to analyze my own brain the same way.

[@wendyfurness3352]

Wow I feel like you were describing my brain in so many ways there! I have no diagnosis of anything, but looking back over the past 57 years, there are standout moments, comments, feelings and so on that make me wonder. And your monologue in this video actually made me cry a little bit, with the realisation that there are other people like me! I'm off to bed now, where I have to pop in my earphones and listen to something engaging, to drown out my own thoughts, so I can fall asleep. Keep up the wonderful work Charlie xx

[@doroteareutersward2567]

Well, this is perhaps the best description ever of sensory issues. I will link this video to EVERYONE. Thank you!!

[@melissad7855]

I can read a book out loud to my high school students while thinking about my grocery list or an argument I had with my husband that morning. Oh yes, it is possible to have SEVERAL thoughts simultaneously occurring.

[@flo-llama]

Thank you for posting such a detailed and honest video. My husband had no choice but to listen and showed not only real interest, but divulged parts of his brain processes I did not previously know (& we've been married about 4 decades). I personally related to most of your list & saw my children in it too. I think my husband understands a little better now when I have to ask him to repeat things because I had turned my ears (or eyes) off. I truly believe my ability to do that stops me from being overwhelmed.

[@deborahbaughman1366]

You’re not rubbing the kiss off you’re rubbing it in ♥️

[@marshmellow1203]

Wow, you just put the words to how my brain works too. I also really struggle with insomnia so the symphony plays for most of the day. I get maybe 6 hours a sleep at night. Now it makes sense WHY I am so exhausted. Thanks for allowing my brain to hold a more compassionate perspective because most of the time I feel like I should still be able to "do it all" even with 4 to 6 hours of sleep.

[@charlotteweb9013]

SO MANY YES!!!! I hallucinate smells, the higher my hair the better I work is my mantra, I thought everyone heard electricity, if someone is in my house and I put in earplugs, I can hear the sounds of the bones in my head too loud to sleep. Someone was in my house last night and they have been gone for 2 hours, and I still feel them... I need days to recover.

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

Yes to hearing the sounds of my bones in my head. Hips and knees are LOUD for me too, with other joints more subtle.

[@CallMeAL1]

If you experience smells as visuals or sounds that’s called synesthesia. You have a sort of super power where you experience primary senses thru other senses (sounds as colors is common)

[@charlotteweb9013]

@@CallMeAL1 Oh yes - I told everyone this morning I was putting the yellow playlist on!!

[@TheFeralFarmgirl]

OMG. Me too. EVERYTHING. I thought everybody's brain was like that. I hear the lights, and everything. I used to tell my parents when they accidentally left the television on, but there was no picture. I was an insomiac as a child and only now am somewhat able to sleep now. I did poorly in school because of it, my teachers always hated me for "daydreaming."

[@Melavara]

I love the conception of your brain as a symphony! I think of mine as a conspiracy theorist’s bulletin board - full of every image, thought, sound, list, memory I’ve ever had, connected sometimes incomprehensibly with a tangled web of strings. You never know when adding a new thing is going to knock a bunch of things down or cover them temporarily or finally make the web make sense.

[@littledoggos]

This is so similar to how my brain works it is actually crazy. Trying to unmask as much as possible while being aware of everything and having this symphony going on in my head is incredibly tiring and exhausting.

[@adriannegentleman83]

Telling myself stories is still how I get myself to sleep, and I'm 63.

[@carolehart1714]

I get whole songs stuck in my head, especially ones from my childhood that I had to memorize. They can come back to me if someone else just says a word or a phrase.

[@apcolleen]

I grew up Catholic and now whenever someone says "take this" I either hear in my head or say out loud " all of you and eat it for this is my body , which has been giving up,forrre you" dingy dingy dingy diinnnngg (this is the part where the altar boy rings a bell)

[@helenaalexandra4197]

Yep, ear-worms is what I've always called songs that get stuck in my head, either from a casual phrase or riff heard elsewhere or a snatch of melody from the song itself (or spin-off of it). Usually I can 'clear' the song by playing it and singing along, but sometimes I need multiple repetitions or a very specific version.

[@ildonoa3928]

There are people out there that fall asleep with TV's on. I have no idea how that is possible. I also hear my heartbeat all the time, breathing in and out of my nose, etc. I've actually started using deep breathing techniques to create a rhythm with the heartbeat and focusing on that is the only thing that allows me to fall asleep.

[@Ellulellu]

I need an audiobook to fall asleep 😅 sometimes tv works too. For me it's about focusing on what I'm hearing and filling my head with that so all the negative stuff that comes at night doesn't take over. Usually it's something that I have already read or listened so it's not too interesting to keep me awake😄

[@tetchedistress]

Onion, I am an onion. Thank You. I have been diagnosed as neurospicy, and the whole salsa band goes off constantly. Thank You.

[@elizabethashley2313]

It is so reassuring to read so many comments of "this is my brain, too!" here. The older I get (and we're of a similar age, so, not that old really) the more I realize that my brain is definitely some kind of spicy. Figuring that out while also having three young children is... an adventure.

[@Lupeportias]

GIRL!!! I wake up every day 2 or 3 times a night with a song looped in my head!!! nobody understand why I go to sleep with spotify / the radio on.. if I have a song looping in my brain, I'm not sleeping again

[@SenoritaSevilla]

“You can only think one thing at a time” LOL I wish! My brain being an orchestral piece is such a good metaphor.

[@samaror4947]

I am going to make sure that my husband watch this.

[@mosysaurusrex]

Showed this to my husband because you perfectly described exactly how my brain works (there are a few slight differences, but on the whole, YES!!!!). I have never felt more seen and understood by him. Thank you.

[@marialaane172]

Thank you for talking about all of this❤ I'm a recent-ish subscriber on your main channel but what drew me to your content and why I've now watched most of your videos from the last few years is because I could feel a sense of belonging. There's this whole idea of neurodivergents subconsciously finding and surrounding themselves with other alike minds. While that idea can easily be a slippery slope into armchair diagnosies over the internet (which I don't subscribe to), I have to admit that I've really felt at home here due to relating heavily to the way you think and create. The organisation and the chaos, the attention to detail along with the missed and later found slip ups, the thoughts of "if I don't redo this the right way, it's going to bother me forever" combined with "let's mess around and find out" and "GOOD ENOUGH!" -- these are all thoughts I share during my creative endeavours. It feels great to see and hear I'm not alone in thinking in these clashing yet somehow still working ways so thank you. Thank you for sharing your mind with us, truly❤❤❤ Well wishes from Estonia! EDIT: I wrote the comment when I started watching the video and now that I've finished the video, my sense of belonging and feeling seen has only increased. I recently started therapy to cope with and learn about my sensory issues so this video really hit home for me.

[@LKJagoda]

I like "The Stitchery" but I am enjoying this new channel even more. Because honestly, I just really enjoy your chats! They are always interesting. It is like having tea and a nice visit with a good friend but without having to get dressed and go out anyplace and I can do it at any time that works for me rather than during normal visiting hours. So thank you for being willing to share so much of your life with us.

[@emilysmith2784]

I relate to this so much. We had a power cut in our house and the peace was just beautiful. The fridge finally quiet, no charging phones or tvs buzzing. And OMG someone finally named it. Haunted by a smell, explains it soo well. I always feel this from strong smells. I tell my husband they are stuck in my nose but haunted is such a better way to say it. Oh and for sleeping I highly recommend Michael Sealey channel. He does hypnosis and Meditation Vacation channel for stories for sleeping. The train journey is my favourite.

[@Llepidoptra]

YES THE MUSIC IN YOUR HEAD oh my god I have never felt so SEEN

[@squidypoo]

I’ve never had someone so perfectly before exactly how my brain works, too! Thank you. I’ve never been able to empty my brain, either. I don’t remember when I became aware that my brain, or me, was so different to other people, but it made me feel very isolated. I feel a lot less alone now. ❤

[@ThroughTheThornvine]

god i'm so glad someone else feels the way I do

[@RoundMtnDryGoods]

I am relating highly to your description of how your brain works! I have to sleep with ear plugs and a mask, because any noise or light will keep me awake all night. I didn't like sleepovers when I was a teenager because if there was music left on all night, very common...I didn't sleep. Same with lights left on. I was considered to be a weirdo with my insistance on quiet and dark to sleep!

[@heidiross8592]

I call my brain a convention of Goblins. Sometimes they work together, sometimes they actively sabotage each other. And some days they just do their own thing without interacting with the next Goblin. I do like the orchestra metaphor. Yeah it’s not perfect but I think a lot of neurotypical people would pretty well grasp the point

[@angelajoosten9746]

When you talk about the noise of everything I can so relate. I can't nap because honestly, it's too noisy in the day.

[@bluesalamanders]

When I complained about distracting noise as a kid, my mom told me to "close my ears", which I didn't understand then and I don't understand now. I am still haunted by scary things I watched decades ago. I also find it easier now to just avoid most scary stuff. I have enough trouble sleeping without intentionally making it harder.

[@andifism]

It was only when I was helping a colleague (in my twenties) that I realised I had a photographic memory. I just thought that everyone remembered phone numbers by reading them off of the piece of paper that they are written on from the picture in my brain. Yes, we should discuss how our brains work. Watched a Joe Scott KZbin video about how people's brains still work even after being separated into two hemispheres called something like freewill doesn't exist. Fascinating.

[@katherinegreen8392]

I totally understand your brain. My brain has so many layers too. Very similar to yours.

[@delinhuo381]

That was so interesting. I can follow along with some of those descriptions, but definitely not all. But I have a friend who might identify with this. So insightful to have someone who is able to put all of that into words in a structured way.

[@stefflcus]

[Long, rambling, overly personal rant about hair deleted] I have never related to anything more. I think one of the (many) reason I enjoy your videos so very, very much (on both channels!) is that, while we are quite different in a lot of ways, your asides and the way you relate things is similar enough that it actually somewhat (SOMEWHAT!) quiets my own aggressive and layered inner commentary. [Edited again in an effort to keep the em-dashes, parentheses, and ellipses from utterly taking over] Yes, we DO need to talk about this more... if for no other reason than so that those of us who think about thinking can be nerds together. Or separately and quietly in our own curated spaces, sure. Thank you for talking about it!

[@karenfranceslewis1513]

I've used the explanation of to many browser tabs. Sometimes they just add up and slow down the system while other times they are doing unexplainable things and must be tracked down over all other priorities. The explanation breaks down when browser tabs are so easy to close once you find the right one while brain tabs don't quit so easily

[@KristinaHoneyHavenFarm]

When I retired from teaching, one of the wonderful things was absorbing the sound of the "silence" around me. It was so refreshing. Fluorescent lights are so noisy that they were one of the best sounds to get away from. The last few years, the sound of people using erasers on paper was so grating that sometimes I thought I might scream. It was not until a few months ago that I learned some people did not have an inner monologue; I have a difficult time imagining that. I also had that reaction in the 90s when I first learned that some people could not visualize things in their heads.

[@Hippiechick11]

One reason I love snow fall is the fact the snow absorbs the nose from the neighbors.

[@ronaldbrochu8621]

💝💝💝💝From Angele: Here I am again. I had a "brain discussion" with my 45 yr old daughter yesterday. OMG! I didn't know. My daughter basically thinks like Charlie. OMG. I didn't know. Highly sensitive. Thank you, once again Charlie, for opening up the conversation!!!! 💝💝💝💝

[@CarrieC73]

Perfect description of my brain, too. But what surprises me that this isn't how everyone's brain works!!!

[@ronaldbrochu8621]

💝💝💝💝From Angele: Wow. I am very impressed on how much you are aware of how your brain functions. In past videos you say things like: "My brain doesn't like this." I would think: Oh that's funny. But now, I realize, that you are aware that your "brain doesn't like this." You have awakened in me the fact that I have no idea (well, not to your level of awareness) how I think..... You "intrigue" me: I am so interested on how you think. Thank you so much for sharing! Note: I have grand-children who are ADHD and on the spectrum, so it helps me to see how these children could be thinking....... the conversation continues..... Again, thank you so much for this video. 💝💝💝💝

[@theplussizecostumer]

Some of your "internal symphony" is so relatable to me. I don't remember a lot of my brain awareness from my childhood because I didn't really understand how my brain worked. As I grew into adulthood, I became more and more aware of how it worked. First of all, I can never have complete silence because I have tinnitus. The constant high pitched buzzing will be with me until I die. And I blame it on my brother. In 1967, there was an international exposition in Montreal, and my mom took us. I was 13 and he was not quite 12. We lived in Upstate NY (that's important), so it was pretty easy to drive to Canada. And we didn't need all the ID necessary to go there these days. We stayed at a campground and we soon discovered that fireworks were not illegal in Quebec. In NY at the time all fireworks, except sparklers, were. So my brother begged mom to get some firecrackers the next time we went to the little grocery store near the camp. So we're setting them off later that night. The next morning I heard a pop as I was waking up. My brother had the "bright idea" to light one and put it under my pillow. I didn't notice anything wrong at first. In fact it took a few years to become really noticeable. Now, at 70 it's a constant in my life. It's to the point that it interferes with the ability to hear others, especially if there's loud music or loud background conversations. And that sucks. But, yeah, I totally understand everything else you brought up. I wonder if it's an ADHD thing. (I got my diagnosis 2 years ago at age 68. It was nice to finally have a name for how my brain works. Chaos, total chaos.)

[@VintageVermilion]

Layers! Yes, finally an apt description for the rumble tumble domain that is my brain. Now that I'm blissfully retired, the memory from the stress of working in a cubicle farm with all the noises and smells still gives me shudders. While I don't crave absolute quiet, I cherish the gentle sounds of my outdoor fountain, the soft snores of my beagles, the cheerful chatter of the birds at the feeders, I don't miss the human cacophony at all. And lists--oh my, I have lists of my lists!

[@susanlowry701]

That’s all a lesson in empathy. I can personally understand some of your strands but some of the others are new. For me I have tinnitus so at night I need something else on which to focus - the answer - audio books! I’m an adult that gets read to sleep every night. I really like the analogy of the conductor’s sheet music. It gives me lots more to think about with friends and strangers alike.

[@nyves104]

omg the chunk looping. my brain does this for everything and it drives me up the wall some days. like 80% of the time it's music (even instrumental!), but it will do it with anything and everything. usually I can get relief from the song if I listen to the full version of the song. I can't do a fully quiet brain either, I get chronic migraines and at some point in high school, I was taught how to meditate as a form of pain management by a doctor, and even taught a version where I could use my mental imagery and music as a point of grounding instead of trying to get rid of it all

[@petrathorsty3833]

This description is so so accurate. I've always described it like I'm standing in a room with 5 phones ringing at once at I'm running from phone to phone (different thoughts, concerns, songs playing in my head and streams of consciousness). Sometimes I'm trying to talk on 2 phones at once, sometimes all 5 are ringing and I can't remember what any of them are about or what to answer first so the sound of every single call just overlaps in nonsense noise. Anyways... I have ADHD meds now and experiencing the world in blissful quiet is so calming and peaceful

[@memawkellysfarm]

This isn't normal? I truly thought it was until watching so many of your videos. It's MY NORMAL! :D

[@jaybee4118]

It’s not abnormal, but it’s not most people’s experience.

[@debbiearmentor3644]

I truly understand this. I got in trouble at work once because the boss said we were going to have to pick up a duty. My brain immediately began processing the steps and changes we would need to complete this task a on top of all the regular things. Evidently, my face spoke out too loudly and the boss saw it. He began fussing because I was "being disrespectful" when I was really "processing" what was needed to complete the assigned task along with our regular tasks.

[@DoodleBug84]

I can't clear my mind, either. Even when I literally try forcing myself to think of a plain black screen. . . It just. . . Doesn't stay that way for longer than like. . . 2 seconds. Lol You are certainly not alone!

[@julie-elizabethmack9502]

I thought I was the only one with some of these issues. Thank you. I don't feel quite so alone anymore.

[@belmore2107]

I've spent the entirety of my life with just this! My generation learned to keep this to ourselves lest we be medicated or institutionalized! As said, it's exhausting!

[@ginakay1959]

this has been the best descritpion of how my brain works too. and the surprise i had when i 1st learnt that not all people are busy in there

[@JessiPeterson]

I'm not crying from being seen, you're crying! I literally sent your video to my fiancé so he could have a peek into my brain. Thank you Charlie. ❤

[@marymugge1523]

"It's not that scary..." oh the number of movies I have stuck in my head because I got talked into watching something "sticky". I describe my brain like a spider web. I'm constantly moving around on it and I have no idea which strand of the web I'm going to go down when I hit an intersection. Along the way I'm sticking to things that have randomly gotten stuck to the web. Songs, sensations, movie clips, random internet jokes, they all stick. It got to the point I literally think of the drawn cartoon version of Lizzy Maguire coming in with a broom to sweep out the cobweb. Odd cartoon to use but it worked the first time and ever sense. It gives me a few minutes peace till stuff starts to stick again.

[@delorescasper2564]

Are you reading my mind. My granddaughter is a cheer leader and I get those as well as the songs. I always say I live in my brain.

[@leilaniholland]

This video should be required watching for every human being. Touch is my piano and voice. I recently cut my hair short because the feel of it on my back and neck was making me sob. I'm comparable with clothes, though what's comfortable to me probably isn't what's comfortable for you. (I need 100% cotton to survive - to the point I'm going to try making my own bras soon as I can dig up the courage and time to try.) The saddest part is, I didn't REALIZE these were brain layers until I watched your video. "Thank you" isn't adequate for what this means to me.

[@J.K.RiverisanoldLady]

Yes, anything can be an ear worm for me, too. The video from last week ended with you singing about the smiles of my children. I thought about leaving a comment an hour later telling you the smiles of my children was still playing in my head, but didn't. In 36 years of marriage I have had 2 default songs playing in my head. Not at the same time. Each for more than a decade. The 1st included the lyric, "one less bell to answer, one less egg to fry." The current song has, "late December back in '63, she was everything I dreamed she'd be. What a lady, what a night." My current song that I use to try to switch the tune is Sweet Caroline.

[@keriezy]

I can't help it! By the 17 min mark, I'm freaking out how similar consciousness is explained by you. Even the asking others how they think! All the noises and bumps of my heartbeat! The layers!! I relate well to your symphony metaphor. As for silence, less than a few times, I've been aware that my brain stopped for a short time. It's weird, and it is jealousy inducing. Ok edit time... you're on smell now. I don't smell on purpose. It's a thing. It's a way I breathe to avoid any and all unpleasantness smells create. Once I smell it? It odor must go. I need neutrality!!

[@indigoblue6276]

Exactly! Sitting right next to you on the embroidery bench, but not so close that we touch or are in the same region of country, but right there... with my 8 lists and 45 thoughts all going on at once, the symphony is tuning up, and the brass is having a bad day.

[@hollygriffith3882]

I definitely​ identified with a lot of those layers from when i was a kid and looking inward realizing that i have numbed my awareness to just function to the point that i am scared to feel because it takes over my brain.

[@kalka1l]

Also for everyone talking about phantosmia, smelling scents that don’t exist/aren’t there. Heightened olfaction is common in autism and our abilities to perceive smells others don’t is not phantosmia. We really do smell more than typical people and it is not imagined. We’re just built different and that’s OK.

[@gerileemakes]

So you mentioned giving birth, then i combed through the comments to see if anyone knew anything else about that, which led me to your 100k q&a, where you said you would love to talk more about that experience, so this is me officially requesting a stitching and stories. Please and thank you. For those who don't want to look for the info in the other video, Charlie gave birth to a daughter, chose an incredible family to adopt her, and she wants share her story of being a birth mother.

[@anntally7503]

Yet another video that makes me feel less alone. Thank you, Charlie! I also really like your start; labels may be a jumping-off point but there is so much magic there that can't be described! I love being a creative because thinking about color palettes and projects make it all easier. ❤

[@KiaraDex]

this is for the most part scary close to how my mind works. the telling stories to drown out the rest is perfectly spot on

[@danielecampbell7850]

OMG! You explained my brain exactly! I use my own stories and songs I know how to finish to get rid of the song snips, but the rest is just like me. I also don't risk the movies/TV and books that can get stuck or bring up prior traumas. My husband taught me how to count to get rid of the layers, but what takes him only 1-2 times counting to 10 takes me 1-2 times counting to 10 10 times and then counting backward from 10 10 times again once or twice more.

[@danielecampbell7850]

Oh yeah! The haunting smell is very much a thing. I have the best nose of the whole family, and smells keep repeating even when they are gone for everyone else.

[@crystalkeller722]

Thank you Charlie for thinking about “how you think” and creating an AMAZING metaphor (although imperfect) to begin explaining the many complexities of your brain and sensory input. You’ve said many things which I relate to. This was very helpful.

[@JustPlainLaine]

your story reminds me so much of myself and my son. Particularly my son, who is now 41. I definitely identify with the idea of always being exhausted from trying to deal with all of the internal and external stimuli. you did a great job of explaining it.

[@OliverKiry]

Sometimes the song stuck in my head is a literal symphony that my brain is invented as it goes. Usually very loud. While some other corner is going "I'M TRYING TO READ A BOOK PLEASE GOD" ... yeah this video is perhaps the most accurate description of how my brain works. I've been able to live the Quiet Life for about a year now and it's changed everything.

[@nataliehunte9591]

Loved your "imperfect" metaphor. Thank you for being vulnerable and courageous enough to post. I was able to follow along, and experience parts of the orchestra as they were highlighted. Thank you again!❤😇

[@dancooper-jones]

you have just 100% described what I go through everyday. including the awareness, the songs (sometimes two), the constant-ness of it, even the not watching TV etc, because scenes get stuck on loop. also, I'm haunted by smells.

[@mandym7008]

I've never heard someone else describe the way my brain works this well. I have somewhat different layers, but omg.

[@jecka62987]

The earworm thing is spot on. Mine is [usually] whatever song I heard last. And yes, if it's from a short form video, it's a 9 second loop. I have a KZbin playlist of songs that I use if I need to replace the bad earworm with a bearable one right before bed.

[@Holly_hamigakiko]

I always call my brain loud for these exact reasons. So much noise. I like the layer analogy. Think you are onto something there. Also, my fridge is very loud right now!

[@NectarHandmade]

Omg this makes so much sense. I now almost always fall asleep reading my kindle because it’s the only way I can keep my brain on one track instead of hopping around or repeating something 😅

[@NectarHandmade]

My goodness I think my comment thread is going to be huge by the end of this video. I can’t watch “scary” things either. I’ve literally explained it to other people before as haunting

[@NectarHandmade]

The wetness left behind ugh. Who gave you access to my brain??

[@NectarHandmade]

Is incredible. I will be asking my husband to watch this later because I can never seem to explain myself to him but I relate to everything you said so so much. Thank you for helping me understand my brain a little more

[@totchipanda]

I feel so seen. I was aware of some of the way my brain thinks, but def not all of it. Theres always a layer of music, the awareness of things touching me (having my scalp being pulled ever so slightly by a ponytail is far less annoying that hair touching my neck or jaw), etc etc etc.

[@StudioTinidril]

Oh. my. goodness. ! Here I was thinking I might be the only one whose inner monologue was constant and never ending. My own layers of awareness are very similar to yours with two notable differences: visual input divorced from its own sound (or accompanied with quiet sound like from a distance) will produce music in my head: first a rhythm from the movement, then a melody, then orchestration. And in addition to the kind of "ear worm" experience you have of a short piece looping over and over, I also will just hear a full orchestra playing a symphony I've never heard before, and depending on where I am or what I'm doing, I will also visualize a ballet. Thank you for sharing how your brain works!!

[@brianneporchak3023]

You just perfectly described my brain in a way that would make sense to everyone in my life. I actually got anxious the more i listened, because it was too perfect of an explaination. From writing stories in my mind to drown out the noise before bed (then getting trapped in a looping scene I created), to needing to stop all other sounds to concentrate on a conversation, hating most of my wardrobe for textures, the inner monologue, lists, and wearing glasses because contacts are so much worse. I started watching your channel because of the split side skirt, I stayed for the relatability and simple tutorials that explain things how my brain works. Thanks to you, I'll soon be starting to create my own wardrobe of clothes that I want and find comfortable to wear (namely split side things).

[@MarhaMuffin]

I have never related so much to something ever!!! ❤ Good to know you/I am not alone.

[@joannebrunt7189]

Omg putting dishes down as quietly as possible!!!

[@cawneyhawme7141]

Finally, someone speaking my language.

[@WildMindLife]

I never thought about my brain and how it might be different from others. So many things you said clicked. To this day I still will see flashbacks of disturbing moments. I have no idea why the scene will start, but when it does it feels like it’s impossible to stop. The same snippet over and over, but I get wave of emotions with them. Even if I had no emotions from the original snippet when on repeat I develop them. It sucks.

[@mielunaria]

it's so fasinating to hear someone talk so much in depth about their brain and how/what the thing about all the time becuase i very much related to everything in the video but at the same time not? like yes im aware of these layers, sometimes very intensely but also sometimes i get very easily distracted and suddenly i dive into water complately forget about that one thing and then resurface some time later (it can be minutes or long hours) and im suddenly very aware of the thing again and cannot drown it out bc im so aware of the fact i wasnt aware of it for some time? brains are weird

[@kalka1l]

You put it into words. After many decades of sniper-grade vision I am beginning to need reading glasses and I am not OK with the sensation. I just spent 3 weekends hunting for pince nez that fit me because I am convinced I can tolerate them better than standard glasses. The search continues.

[@lizz7162]

The way you describe ur brain layers is so liberating for me ... i would not know where to start with my brain except to.start writing it down because i know im unusual and maybe i can find a way to figure it out .... and yes i get the clothing thing and too much noise thing ...thank you for sharing

[@jessicamartone5345]

I am relating to this in a big way !! All of the sensory stuff especially but I am relating to most of it. It’s good to know I am not the only one with such a noisy mind.

[@anxiety4daysmusingmedic891]

You just explained my lived experience. I'm gonna show my therapist this. Thank you ❤

[@danielalaatz57]

This was the nearest description of how O feel my brain that I ever heard. There are a few differences and therefore the symphony analogy is nothing I ever thought about but all these layers. They can be so overwhelming. For me smells are the worst - most are terrible for me and many induce migraines and it's impossible to escape. Sound - there is a reason I am nearly never without my headphones. Thank you so much for talking about it. We need to talk more about stuff like that and how different it can be for different people. (For example with my near complete aphantasia there is no reason to try and avoid anything visual, it will not get stuck in my brain. But sounds and smells will.)

[@ayragon]

My trick is to metaphorically walk an invasive thought back to its “origin” in my mind’s narrative and then step forward in a chain of thoughts I enjoy more. If that didn’t work, a stern “shush” to my mind’s voice and then a conscience clearing of my mind which is a visualization of a blank chalkboard. Has to be black chalkboard, because a whiteboard can be smudged or stained from use, and so is never “blank”.

[@BeyondtheHiggs]

my brain is the same way. I can hear everything. I work with kids who are nuerodivergent for a variety of reasons. I really focus as a case manager on metacognition, brain- based theory, and executive functioning. My brain never shuts down (even when I dream) so I can help people with the same issue.

[@mjdc2533]

Thanks for sharing. My family described it as busy and noisy. Thoughts are unstoppable.