My Creepy Father-In-Law Keeps Pushing My Boundaries r/Relationships

[@isabellathomas1314]

Breast milk aside, if someone says “don’t eat those, they’re for my baby” you DON’T EAT IT!

[@RealAnimeBadGuy]

This right here!!!

[@timbit8670]

This is exactly what I was thinking. Those muffins are for my infant son don’t eat them. Doesn’t matter what’s in them the fact that the FIL is obsessed with breast milk is creepy though

[@QuayHollywood]

Let's shorten this. If someone says "don't eat this". That's your cue to NOT eat that.

[@Draggonny]

It doesn't even need a qualifier. It's your food in your home. Stealing is wrong. The fact he's stealing from a literal infant just makes it even more of a selfish AH move. No means no.

[@Jasonfallen71]

Yeah, there’s the nearly unforgivable rudeness of eating forbidden food and then there’s the skeevy, slimy, perverted thing where the breast milk is something that gets FIL off, somehow. (Shudder)

[@emilybarclay8831]

FIL having such a weird fetish that his OWN WIFE had to HIDE when she was feeding HIS baby is deeply sick

[@kaykay8855]

MIL is also enabling him, expecting op to just know about his fetish and FIL not keeping his fetish/kink at home.

[@Fingerscrossedout]

​@@kaykay8855this is exactly what generational trauma does, if you don't fight it the next generation will or it will be ignored again for the next one...

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

*THEIR* baby.

[@InvasionAnimation]

ikr

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Ya, I'm not buying that update at all. There is no way the hubby wouldn't have known about his father's kink or fetish, if you will. Either the hubby is lying or the OP is. My money is on the OP lying in the update since she didn't get the huge massive approval that she wanted showing the FIL as a pervert in the original story.

[@Russman67]

FIL is depraved and the fact that he's been allowed to continue this behavior is scary. I mean his wife had to lock him out to feed her son. He creeped on a woman at work hard enough to get fired. He needs to be cut off immediately.

[@Callimo]

FIL needs therapy, stat. Attachment issues to the point of festishization? Behavioral therapy, stat.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

And the fact that it's his kids wife makes it even worse. It's already bad enough that he's creeping on random mothers and his wife can't even trust him around her when she's breastfeeding (just eww, she'd literally have his son attached to her. How do you get off to seeing someone feed your kid?), but now he's obsessed with his DIL and actively trying to get her breastmilk and creeping on her when she has his grandson attached to her chest. FIL and MIL need to go to therapy.

[@jbgra2566]

Man, second OP is surrounded by assholes. Hope he finds a good place where he can finally rest well. Her situation is sad but her wellbeing shouldn't be at the expense of OP, who is a paying tenant of that space and is entitled to a quiet environment at night

[@robertx8020]

Put the stereo at max volume during the daytime And if they complain about the noice? throw their won words back in their faces

[@Draggonny]

It's not even her wellbeing. As someone who has been on antidepressants for about 20 years for PTSD, depression and anxiety: that girl needs medicating and some serious therapy. It's not getting better. It won't magically go away if everyone ignores it. She has serious mental health issues and needs professional help NOW. The longer it takes to get her into treatment, the harder it is to treat. Running yourself into the ground is not helping her. It's making everyone irritable and hostile. I've had the "get help or get out" ultimatum. I got out. I sorted myself out. It was probably the best thing they could have done for me. I completely turned my life around.

[@katiecakesl4691]

S1: if MIL had to lock out FIL when she was breast feeding, and knew about why he had to change jobs, then she needs to be cut out too for putting OP in danger by allowing her husband to be around OP, and not informing her of this predatory behavior. He can have a fetish, but that does not mean you get to push your fetish on others without their explicit and informed consent. It really boarders on SA.

[@ajzephyros7454]

I don't think it just borders it's full on SA

[@katiecakesl4691]

@AJ Zephyros sadly I don't think from a legal standard it would be considered SA. Harassment probably but without actually touching her I don't think it is. Which is dumb because forcing someone into your fetish absolutely should be SA.

[@Konachn4ever]

​@@katiecakesl4691 It's not letting me edit so I ment wouldn't be

[@saldiven2009]

Story 2: GF isn't on the lease, she shouldn't be staying there that much, especially not if she's causing this much trouble to OP. And, OP's roommate is a jerk for letting this continue and expecting OP to just deal with it. OP isn't the GF's therapist where he has to deal with this stuff. GF sounds like she needs in-patient treatment. Also, this is another example of how your personal problems aren't a justification to treat other people badly. It might explain why it happens, but it doesn't make it OK. It doesn't undo the damage you cause to others. It doesn't make other people have to accept it without complaint.

[@damien678]

Also, she could very seriously trigger someone else with bad PTSD. I have very strong fight responses and would probably end up going mad in a situation like that. It's a genuinely unsafe situation for everyone involved, especially her.

[@ambermcglone4811]

Seriously ? Story 2) nope nope nope ‘n she has no reason to be there he never asked his roommates if she could stay there full-time and he’s never asked them how much money she should be paying for rent just because she pays him rent money doesn’t mean that she’s contributing to her part of the bills as of the electricity and the water since there’s an extra person I think it’s really manipulative what the other roommates doing with the girlfriend maybe once or twice a week I can understand but living there she’s on the lease this is total BS I’m sympathetic for when somebody has some mental health issues but not when it’s literally making everyone else have their own mental health issues

[@joule7256]

​@@damien678Very valid point. I am one of those people who get triggered from aggressive yelling and banging. Eventually I'd snap and hurt them. But I doubt they would accept the excuse of I'm having a hard time and can't help it.

[@katiecakesl4691]

S2: i have severe panic attacks. What she is doing is not normal for a panic attack. She clearly needs more help. That is not appropriate.

[@scarlettg.5772]

Agreed, I have anxiety attacks and never did what she does even the people I know that have panic attacks don’t do that. Crying yes but hitting things and screaming all night no.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 2, he needs to call for emergency care because she needs professional help. ETA: sleep deprivation is literal torture. If she needs a new place then she needs to find a new place.

[@jfcfanfic]

Both stories sounded like nightmares to me.

[@MidnightAndLuna]

Yep!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

"I guess they'll need to wait until the baby is weaned until we visit again, if we ever do." I wouldn't. I couldn't even look this dude in the eye again, let alone feel safe or comfortable around him. And I sure as hell wouldn't want my kid around him, either, after such a open and shameless display of perversion. Begs the question what other proclivities he has that he's willing to act on. MIL wouldn't get to see her grandkid anymore, but I think it's a small price to pay to keep your kid away from a known sexual degenerate.

[@ZombieSazza]

FIL is being beyond WEIRD, he’s not ignoring your boundaries, he’s stamping all over them and kicking your boundaries in your face. She’s repeatedly told him her boundary and he is more than happy to disrespect her again and again and AGAIN. He’s being creepy in the family group chat, he’s trying to argue to OPs face why he’s allowed to ignore her boundaries… just… just WTF?!? Is this some fetish? Cus that’s gross, like imagine sexualising YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW this way. Update: I JUST KNEW SOME WEIRD FREAK FETISH WAS INVOLVED! It’s WORSE that the MIL purposely HID his previous fetishised incidents where she was forced to feed her own baby behind a locked door, and him making a mother at his workplace feel unsafe. His behaviour has been allowed to worsen, it’s gone unchecked, he’s being insanely enabled and then folk are shocked when you stand against this frankly disgusting behaviour? WHAT As an edit: I’d honestly be going no contact for that, it’s too much of a violation. Personally I’d more than happily ditch someone that disgusting from my life, especially hearing MIL is blaming her, the innocent mother trying to just feed her child.

[@sxatcychan1988]

I'm being petty, but I would suggest to OP that she stomps on his boundaries by dropping him off at a therapist first.

[@ZombieSazza]

@@sxatcychan1988 I really love this

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I was all in on ripping on the FIL from the original story but after the update, NOPE. I don't believe the OP. She didn't get the crucifixion she wanted of the FIL in the original story so suddenly in the short time of the update, she "finds" all of this other information out about FIL when the hubby didn't even know about it??? Aka, buried family secrets just calmly told to her even though these secrets have been closely kept for decades??? If the OP had just gone with a couple of things in the update, that would have made it more believable. But I have found that in many stories when the OPs are desperate for complete comment approval (good luck with that on Reddit lol), they seem to go scorched earth with shade against someone, in this case, still the FIL, but often they will blast someone in the updates they were heralding in their original story. The FIL may still be a bit of a perv, but I doubt it is hardly what the OP tried to paint him as in the updates. I would like to hear the hubby's perspective as well as the MIL.

[@chuckles7070]

​@@thomasjoseph5876 "I want to hear from OP's husband, who was clueless about the breast milk issue until his dad was being a weirdo in his house. I also want to hear from MIL, who has enabled FIL for decades" you're a kook 😂

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Story 2 this might sound harsh, but the friend's girlfriend needs to go, even if she's going through mental health issues, she's impacting everyone else which is not okay. She's making this environment toxic- I think it might be best for all the roommates to part ways.

[@alyzu4755]

"How difficult is it to not eat boob milk muffins?" 🤣🤣🤣 Says it all. In all seriousness, FIL has a history of creeping on nursing women. And MIL is victim blaming and enabling. I cant imagine if i had to go through this while i was nursing. 🥺

[@azadalamiq]

Mil from a generation of women where not taken seriously in abuse cases. more so against the hubby. So there is bit of gen trauma there on he creeped on her, she just had to avoid him till she was no longer breast feeding.

[@actuallynotsteve]

Who screams and crys for hours, and pounds walls as an adult? That's so cringe, what the hell?

[@zebnemma]

Yeah I was just thinking... WTF kinda "panic attack" that's supposed to be? I used to have panic attacks myself and I can tell you it is 100% possible to have a panic attack quietly, by muffling your own cries as best you can even tho you are freaking the hell out. I used to rush to the bathroom and lock myself in there every time I got attacks and I could panic softly enough that nobody could hear me from the outside. And mind you I had attacks all through high school and the first couple of years when I started working too, so I did that for years and nobody noticed my attacks even once. I think she just wants the attention and that's why she does it so loudly. And she also clearly doesn't give two shits about the other people around her and maybe she wants to disturb their sleep on purpose cuz she's sadistic?? I would not give a shit if I was OP, that girl is not right in the head I don't care that they are using mental health as an excuse to be a garbage person who does psychological torture on people. Yes disturbing peoples sleep on a daily basis for prolonged periods is legit classified as torture. Edit: She claims it's due to some medication that makes her go apeshit... I will not comment on that since I don't know if that's possible but that still sound like a made up excuse but whatever. "sleeping medicine" that makes someone go apeshit? Is she a drug addict that is actually experiencing drug fueled psychotic episodes? Seems way more likely.

[@darkmask5933]

From the sounds of it, she is having psychopathic episodes on the medication. Boyfriend is putting up with it because he's making her offset his rent, and because he sleeps during the day. He is abusing her (by letting her continue to take medication that clearly is putting her into mental breakdowns) so that he can guilt her into paying his rent because its the only safe space she has. People aren't picking up on it, but boyfriend is a monster. He's probably using the money he's saving to buy himself a gaming PC and a PS5, cause that's what all AH boyfriends buy for themselves on Reddit. XD

[@midnightserenity9797]

​@@zebnemmathat's kind of what I was thinking. I have a friend who has severe anxiety which has been diagnosed. It triggers Tic attacks that can cause absent seizures (also diagnosed) but she's never been super loud or gone on rampages like that. She just gets quiet, sometimes she throws up. I know how to handle her seizures, too, since she's had several around me. She basically just disassociates, like her eyes are open but nobody is home. She's completely unresponsive and will slump over. I actually had to catch her head from slamming into the corner of our other friend's bedframe last night when she had one. I also suffered from horrible panic attacks in high school, and even during my worst one that had me and my parents up for an entire five hours I wasn't screaming or banging on things. I couldn't breathe and couldn't even get the air to scream. I was basically just crying and wheezing/gasping for air. It's possible the meds she's on are causing psychotic episodes, and she genuinely needs help to find out what's going on with her. None of the panic attacks I've had or witnessed were ever like that

[@thomasjoseph5876]

After the 2nd time, I would tell the roommate she is no longer allowed to sleep over, PERIOD.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Is she on the lease? If not and she isn't then she's got to go. OP is not getting to sleep in his room the space he pays for and has a lease for. Her issues are detrimental to his physical and mental health.

[@lisachristoph437]

Story 2, record her outbursts and play back while the boyfriend is trying to work. And maybe the roommates will also see the problem.

[@mbyerly9680]

Play it on repeat in the locked bedroom so the roommates can try to sleep.

[@chuckles7070]

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the one comment saying not to videotape her. You have the roommate who's gf is causing the disturbance trying to call OP an insensitive ahole with no frame of reference for the other roommates. OP should've been recording the entire time, not to shame her but to have evidence as to why he's all of a sudden having an issue.

[@skitzoemu1]

Exactly let it wake them up a few nights in a row and see if it is no big deal after 2-3 weeks. Also set it on a random play timer just in the middle of their sleep schedule.

[@chinaking918]

That’s what I would do. Record get a big speaker and when they’re trying to sleep in the day time play it loudly for them so they can see what he goes through trying to sleep.

[@ScragsP22]

OMG! Story 2! I thought I was the only person on the planet to have had a “run in” with this exact situation. Actually I think mine was worse but it’s all bad. My husband’s best friend was going through an unexpected divorce due to the wife’s actions and her messed up family’s actions. They were west coast and his family lived in our state on the east coast so he came our way to get some separation from the crazy. My husband asked if he could stay with us for a month or two while he gets his life together and I happily agreed as I really liked his best friend and felt for his situation. We have a normal sized house, 2 kids (10 and 11) and 2 dogs. His friend was also bringing his 2 dogs which I didn’t know ahead of time. One was an adopted pit bull rescued from a bad home. The saga/battle of the house pets vs guest pets is another story. SMH Anyhow, I was told that our guest was depressed (understandably) and it was making his severe anxiety way worse and there may be some “crying” but if there was to just leave him alone and stay away. I was a stay at home mom and had just gone through 3 spine surgeries from and accident and was recovering still myself. My husband worked 10hrs/day for 6 days a week and my kids were in school. It was just us all day. My days were absolutely filled with first quiet sobbing, then louder moaning, then loud crying followed by ear splitting unintelligible wailing for hours. Every day, all day for 2 months. I think I disassociated because next thing I knew it was all over and we all pretended it was a normal visit. Outcome….the friend is doing 100x better after finding a therapist here/getting medication as well and I have PTSD about houseguests of any kind.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: I just read this post! NTA, if anyone is TA it’s FIL and MIL enabling him. Story 2: NTA. Was op harsh? Yes. But roommate’s gf’s panic attacks are affecting op’s sleep and work, especially since she’s banging on doors and walls. Gf needs help because I think gf’s panic attacks are also affecting the other roommates but aren’t saying anything.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

The other roommates are self-absorbed, chicken-shits.

[@whitneybennett4857]

Yeah, it's disgusting for her to tell OP that maybe it was her own fault for not locking the door. "Oh, sorry, MIL. It's not exactly like you warned me ahead of time that your husband is a creeper who's obsessed with fluids that literally come from a woman's tits."

[@Sapphiresenthiss]

Story 2: If this woman can't help but run around the house FOR HOURS, screaming and banging on the walls, then she doesn't belong in a house - she belongs in a *psychiatric ward* and soon. For everyone's sake, both hers and everyone else's.

[@BambixLynn]

That is not a panic attack…. But that’s some kind of other manic/psychosis episode

[@sfsin3380]

If she on sleep medication it could also be extreme sleepwalking. OP seems to think she doesn't remember the episodes.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

FOUR HOURS of screaming, pounding and stomping is not an anxiety attack. It's a psychotic break. Let the landlord know what's going on. I may just be the suspicious type, but maybe they're targeting op to force him to move out. It sounds deliberate.

[@ZombieSazza]

Second story: okay so you were frustrated, that’s understandable, but your flatmate telling you that you’re “oppressive” is ridiculous! Her mental health is something for her to take care of, you should not be the one that should have to manage her mental health, her mental health is NOT your responsibility. It sounds like she’s avoiding all attempts at reaching out to help, ignoring available resources, you’re walking on eggshells constantly to the point you can’t even broach the subject properly out of fear of another incident! In short, this is NOT her home, she is not managing her mental health, she is forcing you to become sleep deprived, she is making you feel unsafe, uncomfortable and exhausted in YOUR OWN HOME! You have the right to feel safe in your own home, she is an imposing guest who refuses to get help, she is literally screaming and banging the walls and suddenly you’re horrible and “oppressive”?!? No, she’s either using mental health to excuse horrible behaviour and to manipulate, or she’s struggling hugely and should be getting immediate mental health help (maybe even involuntary committed for psyche eval). Her partner is excusing absolutely horrendous behaviour, he’s also threatening you, and she just doesn’t want to stay at her own home despite knowing the massive burden she’s pushing on you. It’s ultimately unfair that you are being blamed for her not caring for her mental health but you’ve been forced into a toxic situation and have been made the scapegoat. She NEEDS immediate mental health help, but OP, you aren’t responsible for her mental health, she is. NTA OP, she’s an actual nightmare. I’ve pretty bad cPTSD & PTSD, but y’know what I’ve done? Gone through therapy, am medicated, have taken the time to learn coping mechanisms and healthier behaviour. Instead of getting angry and wanting to scream when my PTSD is triggered I will play loud metal music and go for a walk somewhere, or I’ll stay in my room, under the duvet, and watch videos online, I will try to calm down and avoid talking to anyone because I’m highly aware I’d be combative and I don’t wanna upset someone else. That’s what you do when you have serious mental health issues, you actually put in the effort to work on your mental health, you don’t terrorise people and manipulate them.

[@Kayenne54]

Flatmate wants OP to 'set himself/herself on fire to keep the GF warm". Also flatmate gets time to catch up on sleep. OP is so run down they're getting sick. GF needs to go, or flatmate BF does, and that will solve all the issues in one move.

[@sofie6524]

Im curious as to when the boyfriend sleeps though...

[@Kayenne54]

@@sofie6524 I think somewhere in the story OP said during the daytime.

[@smapa1185]

It's so wild to me that she keeps taking medication that makes her cry and scream like that! She needs to stop taking it because that is insanity!!!

[@psygaud]

​@SMAPA I was wondering about that too! How is this medication any help at all with a SLEEP disorder if it keeps her awake all night!?

[@michaelalpert8328]

I love the little motivations at the beginning of ur videos!

[@WGottefried]

Same it's so nice 🥺

[@tinak2576]

The roommates in story two are the same people who tell an OP who was abused as a child and stands up for themselves as an adult that they’re AH’s for not being the bigger person. I always wonder where these people come from. Apparently it’s this apartment. One more thought: I wonder if OP has a bigger bedroom or of this is being done intentionally so GF can move in. 🤔

[@gigga143]

S2: NTA. As someone who has anxiety and panic attacks, this is not okay. she needs to get therapy for this. you need to tell your roommate than if she continues this episodes which are disturbing to you that you expect them to leave for the night or you will be forced to call the authorities. she also shouldn’t be staying at the house more often than not if she’s not a roommate paying rent that reduces all of your shares. your roommate maybe needs to get his own place with her if she refuses to get help for her issues. she needs to learn coping mechanisms for her attacks, i say this as someone who has had anxiety since i was a kid and am diagnosed as having general anxiety disorder. her behavior is not okay.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, this is not panic attacks. Sounds more like really bad night terrors with a sleepwalking component, either that or she is just crazy (BPD with Manic Episode, or maybe even Schizophrenic), and untreated. Next time this happens again call the police, and they will order a psych hold on her. Story 2 (update): still not the AH, so your roommate is't paying his rent he is using this poor sick girl to cover his rent. If what she said is true she needs even more help, because her psych meds are causing far more problems than they are solving, she needs a hospitalization, so they can balance her meds, or get her on the proper meds and dosages..

[@ten5h1]

Story 2: it doesn’t matter that the one roommate is friends with the landlord. OP has a signed document, and the landlord has to follow the law.

[@diamcole]

Woah, that's disturbing to say the least. He lost his job over something like this? What the hell...

[@ArcticFFox]

I have severe anxiety. Like proper SEVERE. Panic attacks that are basically screaming and crying for hours, thrashing around are not normal. They are never normal. She is probably in such severe distress every night that she needs to be admitted to a mental hospital to try and figure out the cause. That behavior is not normal unless she is literally getting beaten by her boyfriend for hours on end which is messed up in a different way. For context, naturally occurring panic attacks don't last very long. Most are 15 or so minutes before the body starts stabilizing again. If a panic attack lasts longer than that then there is almost always some source that is causing continuous distress to keep the panic going.

[@Asmodiusempire]

Story 2: sleep deprivation is a literal torture method NTA, she needs to get help

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story 2 this roommates girlfriend doesn’t pay rent she shouldn’t be over that often. Also her issues are her own and she shouldn’t be forcing them on you. She needs to get out. You deserve better, stomping and screaming absolutely ridiculous.

[@deballen7031]

Holy Christ on a bike, what a episode full of mind-blowing insanity and I am sooo here for the updates! 😃

[@embluvya]

Story 1: breastmilk isn't sexual, but what your FIL is doing is 100% sexual and is part of a fetish. I'm not sure if this is just a fetish bait post, tbh.

[@grizbear4115]

Story 2: Pull out the "I AIN'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF Y'ALL! NOW Y'ALL DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!"

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

Story 2: my wording would have been so much harsher. Get her out your house. Him too!

[@JordenWieller]

A long time ago on a show like big brother or something this woman was trying to sleep & the others kept partying despite her protests. The next day while everyone was hung over she started banging pots & pans singing " I didn't get no sleep last night, y'all ain't gonna get so sleep tonight" I think this could be a recommendation for story 2 op. Take off work for a few days, blast Mozart, the girlfriend's recording, or bang pots & pans until insensitive d-bag roommate gets the hint that people need sleep

[@standinthegsp6858]

Maybe if this continues you should call the police because your concerned she having a psychotic break. Or you can tell the police you think she’s being abused. Record her (sound only) when she has a break & play it for the other roommates & police so they can see what it’s like.

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: People are not picking up on the fact that the boyfriend is abusing the GF. He is ignoring the fact she's taking a medication that's putting her through manic and violent episodes for several days at a time, while in turn making it so his place is her only safe space and THEN charging her to be there. Again, he is letting her scream, cry, and have outbursts for several hours multiple days of the week while he ignores it, sleeps during the day, and then since he knows she doesn't feel safe at her apartment charges her his rent so he's living there for free. BF is angry because OP is threatening the cycle of abuse and about to ruin the man's gravy train. Also, we know since this is Reddit abusive BF is using that money to buy himself a gaming PC and a PS5, cause that's what all jerks on Reddit buy themselves.

[@_S7VEN]

What 💀

[@wmdkitty]

...the fuck, dude? If anything, SHE is the abusive one in this scenario.

[@ZombieSazza]

“Don’t forget you are loved just for being who you are, and just for existing” I really love your positive messages at the beginning of your videos. I’ve been no contact with my biological family for a long time, I’m a child abuse survivor and bedridden disabled from permanent nerve damage (thanks, childhood) and have some PTSD for free. Hearing your lovely positive messages always make me really happy and make me smile, I know it’s a general statement applying to all of your viewers, but it makes me happy hearing such positivity and the contents of these lovely messages. I have an informal adoptive family, I have a sister I love very much and she’s given me 2 wonderful nieces and a lovely nephew, I’m gunna go text her random memes so she knows I’m thinking of her (I’m not great with conveying my feelings), and she will always send me a pic of the kids being daft, so that’s what I’m gunna do to reinforce the “you are loved” part of the message, as she always lets me know I’m loved and her kids love their auntie. Thanks Markee, you’ve a beautiful soul!

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 2: At this point OP's declining PHYSICAL health can lead to some serious issues but honestly he should just move out before he passes out in a potentially dangerous situation.

[@meiwa2020]

Op in #2 needs to call the cops once they get out. If the landlord won't let them out of the lease, get a lawyer. My husband's job has law insurance for just a few dollars a month that would give access to a lawyer often for free (advice) and if you need things, discounted or even also free.

[@chazm9458]

So the 2nd story… Roommate's girlfriend only spends a few nights a week at their place and has these episodes 3 or 4 nights a week. Does that mean that every single night that she stays over she has one of these panic attacks? I would be calling the police each and every night.

[@Negasilver]

It's sad that the dude's girlfriend has to go through that but she needs professional help. If I was paying rent and had to go several days without sleeping I'd have told her to stfu too. It's really inconsiderate of everyone else living there.

[@mandyanderson5616]

WOW! Made me IMMEDIATELY think of Steven Powell & his daughter-in-law too!! SCARY!

[@lianabaddley8217]

Right! That whole family! Way scary and so sad!

[@Davtwan]

The comment about willpower and giving one’s self permission to do thing was honestly really fascinating.

[@kp2223]

I need a story 2 update

[@deballen7031]

Definitely.

[@enerioffutt1881]

First story: NGL I might want to taste the popsicle or muffin because....well...I'd be curious what it tastes like. And in that case, I'd admit it to the mother and ask if I could have a taste. If she said no, I'd be fine. Curious as hell, but fine.

[@bbureau12]

I think I'd be nauseous if I accidentally ingested someone else's boob milk - particularly family's. It'd be like being told someone spiced my coffee with their own pee. Just... no.

[@SunnyD74]

That’s a bit extreme. It’s literally milk. Why would it be more disgusting to accidentally ingest human milk than cow or goat? We have been super conditioned to think breast milk is something gross by this weird purity or modesty culture, or because we’ve been programmed to think of women’s breasts as only sexual organs. I mean, I find it super creepy with the FIL, but there’s no need to think of the actual milk as something sickening, and definitely not incestuous if you accidentally ingested it 😂

[@niagambino1714]

Breast milk is just milk lol, if it is gross then why would it be ok to give to a baby. Granted FIL is weird for still eating the muffin after being told no

[@bbureau12]

@@SunnyD74 I personally put breast milk in the same bucket as kinks like feet. If you're into that and the holder of said anatomy is willing and of legal age, it's a free country. Personally, I find it kinda gross. That's just me. I'm not advocating everyone find it disgusting.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@SunnyD74 It's not that people think it's gross in and of itself it's just the idea of someone who doesn't need to drink breastmilk drinking it, especially when it's from someone you know. It's easier to wrap your head around drinking cows milk because cows are a separate species. You can't milk a cow and hold a two way conversation with a cow about how their weeks been, y'know. We eat cows and the milk is just something else you get from a cow other than burgers and steak. Besides that, cows milk is still put through pasteurization to make sure that it's safe for human consumption.

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

I adore listening to your opinions after reading the post and update.s Also.. WTAF IS WRONG WITH THIS FIL? He's so disgusting and creepy🤢 also.. How MIL still is with this creep when he freaked her out because of his "fetish"? 🤢 She's so oblivious of his behavior It makes me sick...OP and her family need to avoid and reporting FIL if he DARE being like this again..

[@hlcooper]

Story 2 - NTA, i don't know the legality of this but when she is having an episode can Op call the police for a wellness check as he is hearing screaming from their neighbor (pretending to be a concerned tenant in another room/house?). maybe if law enforcement heard the hullabaloo maybe the roommates GF may be embarrassed into behaving or doing something about her issues? Or OP just goes to the landlord and say "roommates GF is staying as a tenant as she is there 3-4 nights a week and is a nuisance at night - if this continues i will move out" If GF is aware her mental episodes its due to her medication she needs to go back to her doctor and get her meds adjusted or changed as that craps not ok. i agree with the OP recording her episodes but i would have recorded the whole evening to show that its not a one and done event its continuous through the night. the have a roommate discussion of if this is not sorted out i am moving out

[@angelaa7388]

This first story is so wild I had to listen again...

[@Tijggie82]

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. So no, the guy is not TA.

[@heathermiller5765]

Oh my goodness, he took the food from her child's mouth, in an almost literal sense. Like seriously wtf 😲

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

So, I have anxiety. I'm high functioning PTSD too, I still have night terrors. I'm 32 and a woman. There is absolutely no way this behaviour is anxiety. For one, anxiety attacks CAN NOT be timed. Not at all. The fact that the house mate is able to literally time the "panic attacks" so confidently that he could say "she will be done soon" tells me it is absolutely, unequivocally NOT anxiety or panic attacks. The fact that she is stomping around the house and pounding on the walls also tells me it is NOT anxiety. Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are 2 very, VERY, different things. Anxiety attacks are USUALLY, not always, quiet. Rocking back and forth, talking too much, over sharing, going abnormally quiet, "stimming" such as tapping your fingers repeatedly, jigging your leg, and inability to sit still, repetitive motions and actions. A panic attack is loud, it is USUALLY what we consider a panic attack to be, an inability to control your movements, your breathing becomes erratic and you cant slow your heart rate down, your pulse raises and you feel light headed. A PTSD attack is always silent. We internalise, we shut down. I have both anxiety and PTSD and there is absolutely no way I would be able to time my attacks. It could be a smell, a word, a song, a tv show that triggers me. YOU CAN NOT TIME AND SCHEDULE A PANIC ATTACK

[@cnow82]

Dude. He needs to put on his big boy pants and tell the landlord. He also needs to send his post to the roomies. They are taking advantage because they can. He was mad? And?! Stand up for yourself!

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

Second story - she says it's important for her not to be in a toxic/unhealthy living environment, but that is exactly what she's creating for OP. OP has the reasonable expectation to be able to live in a home where they can get rest and feel safe. Currently, their basic needs are being infringed upon and that is not okay. I have anxiety and have had bad panic attacks and medication shit in the past - so I can empathize with the roomie's gf. But I've also lived in unsafe living situations bc of bad roommates, and it messes you up. Going that long without sleep, and constantly living with the stress of not knowing if she's gonna have an episode or not, makes you paranoid and ill. You're constantly living in fight/flight/freeze mode. Eventually, the high cortisol levels from all of the stress manifest physically. And then you're getting sick a lot and your job performance/school performance is poor. Executive functioning goes down, and memory retention also suffers bc of both the lack of sleep and the stress. This is seriously not okay.

[@adawongkennedy6570]

Story 1: this story reminds me of the movie Shoot 'Em Up, there's a character played by Monica Bellucci that is a pr0stitut3 and guys pays her to breastfeed them. I have no doubt Op's FIL would do something like this if he had opportunity.

[@Draggonny]

I love that movie. It's so weird but so entertaining.

[@dre1978]

Ok fetishes are 100% to have IF you have any level of self control. The fact this dude had to change jobs cause he can't control himself is seriously worrying

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

Dude! The first thing I thought of when hearing the first story was Susan Powell too! So gross and creepy!

[@Iflie]

Myeah that's not a panic attack the girlfriend is having, that's like a psychotic episode. Except she says it's due to medication she takes for insomnia...but she's not sleeping? It's hours and the boyfriend doesn't mind? It sounds more like they are on some creepy drug together and she's ranting and raving from it and he doesn't care because he's also off his head at the time.

[@zebnemma]

Yeah when she said "medication" I thought more like illegal drugs. That honestly sounds more plausible then that a legal drug for "sleep" makes her do the complete opposite of sleeping? What the hell. The sleep medication I used to have was also a calming medication. This chick is not sleeping and she's going crazy for hours so... Medicine not working or she's lying her ass off?

[@randomusername3873]

The point is that she keep spending the night at their place knowing she keeps them awake all night

[@Iflie]

@@zebnemma Yeah i think some people had some adverse effects from melatonine or something but they stop taking it? They seem to be pretending it's a mental illness when it's probably drug abuse. No sane guy would be sober and would think raving and beating walls for 4 hours is no big deal.

[@Iflie]

@@randomusername3873 Whether they are just doing drugs is relevant, as you do not have to feel sorry for people who are causing it themselves. Like the boyfriend says she has panic attacks and she says it's due to "medication" and she doesn't remember them. They are lying to OP

[@Germania72]

I understood that MIL fed FIL behind a locked door ROFL until OP clarified.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: (not done with it yet) FIL is lying. He knew the popsicles had breast milk, that’s why the heart eyes emoji. Unless he acts that way about all popsicles, he was gaga over the breast milk a part. Secondly, he knew damn well there was breast milk in the muffins when he stole one. And who comes into someone else’s house and steals their food without asking?? Kick him out and tell your husband he’s welcome to see FIL without you, but you will not be going and FIL is not welcome in your house. You stated a boundary and he crossed it, AND stole from your home. ETA: Holy muffins Batman, that escalated fast. MIL had to lock him out so she could nurse their child? He “switched jobs” because a coworker complained he kept intruding on her pumping? “Yikes” just doesn’t cover it. S2: Those aren’t panic attacks, though I don’t know what they are. Regardless, GF can’t stay there. Either she goes back home, or she pays for her own place. She’s not on the lease (you might want to check how long you’re allowed to have guests stay over), and she doesn’t get to come over and ruin the sleep of the actual paying tenants. What happens if you fall asleep while driving? This is incredibly dangerous. NTA. “He told the other housemates I’m being oppressive to his gf while she’s struggling.” Has she seen a doctor? Is she on meds? If she’s not trying to address and fix the problem, *she doesn’t get to stay with you.*

[@sgtwhisker26]

It’s one thing to have a fetish. It’s completely different when you force your fetish on others against their will. That’s why people hate Furrys

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

2: someone's mental health should not come at the cost of another's so he knows GF is taking medication that puts her psychosis not having her get the help she needs and convincing her to stay where she's not on the lease and pay HIM rent hmm sounds like the start of an abusive relationship

[@Incarosster]

I knew the guy was a creep with a lactation fetish the moment she mentioned the heart eyes emoji. You do NOT do that for something you simply want to eat.

[@harveyblough7204]

If she comes over 3 to 4 times a week he need to move out she doesn't pay rent or have a right to be there

[@randomusername3873]

Yeah, no I know people with panic attacks, they don't make it that the entire house can't sleep the entire night, it's insane. I think she's looking for attention. And if she's not, she still keep spending the night at their place knowing she's stopping them from sleeping

[@littlegreycat]

That type of behavioral acting out will only get worse without treatment. 13:57 it's not functional for people and they end up damaging property and getting arrested and losing their job later. My brother had to evict someone like this that spiraled until she was completely out of control and started taking drugs.

[@tishellefrancois7840]

That's hella NASTY!! Imagine if it what if it was "sexy sauce" from his son. What would he think then?

[@strange4202]

Love the added affirmations on the videos lately, keep it going.

[@sadhanamorgan3790]

Story 1: Markee's commentary got me lmao 😂😂 "Oh you know what I have no brain..."

[@Faith12996]

As someone who lived with someone with mental health issues, the GF in story 2 is an asshole. My roommate had her meltdowns but they were far and few between. Though she was aware enough to keep moderately quiet and might be loud for no more than an hour.

[@catsncrows]

that is a weird panic attack. i used to have them and the stomping and raging were not part of it. not everyone is the same but i have other friends that have them and this isn't a part of it either. if it is a drug interaction instead why call it a panic attack?

[@TheCobCAP]

the milk story is so insane i cannot believe this happened in real life

[@laxa6494]

This channel is peak comfort channel

[@MsAquamonkey]

I've got story two going on right now, only with a neighbour and their baby. She screams and yells for most of the day, has done for the last ten months. I work from home, so my work can hear it too. But when I've told people about it, they say I don't understand because I'm not a parent, so I feel stuck.

[@Draggonny]

There's not a lot you can do about crying babies or barking dogs. My favourite is to wear earplugs then wear headphones outside of the earplugs blasting music or podcasts. Whatever isn't muffled is drowned out but you're not gonna get noise complaints yourself if you use headphones.

[@damien678]

It's not that FIL 'can't' control himself, it's that FIL WON'T control himself.

[@Enderslegend]

Title Story: Thought baby milk muffins was an innuendo for a moment. So I don’t think eating something made from breast milk by itself is creepy but this dude has a fetish and could be dangerous.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

Breast milk or cow’s milk, he was told that the muffins were NOT for his consumption. He disregarded that completely and landed firmly in creepy pervert territory.

[@champslim]

Story 2: A panic attack for hours..... that doesn't sound right

[@fiyahquacker2835]

And this is why it's best to listen to the whole thing before writing the comment.

[@EchoJ]

I’m sure the gf is on drugs, but it ain’t prescribed by her doctor 😂 I would’ve been gone to the landlord to get this stopped, and if they were really “good friends” with the housemate and slow to act, next is consulting a lawyer for breach of contract and suing for punitive damages (physical and emotional distress). I bet once the landlord is served, that crazy bih would be gone in 24hrs.

[@paulqueripel3493]

If the medication is causing this as a side effect, her doctor should be trying to change the prescription.

[@Angelgirllovesyou]

Nope the roommates gf isn't on the lease and is causing a disturbance roommate is lucky op hasnt called the cops for her episodes cause I sure would if it is that bad and I'm fearful in my own home.

[@kelliepatterson1142]

Ask roommate if he's going to be as accommodating when you loose your job and can't pay rent.

[@Margatatials]

One thing to experience parabolic paraphilic attraction to things it's an entirely other thing to force this onto others against their will, super gross

[@YuToobVideos]

Story 1: I'm the complete opposite of FIL. When my wife was breastfeeding, it creeped me out. btw, most bodily fluids creep me out.😂

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 2 just got more insane. OP is just supposed to just deal with this? This isn’t normal. OP doesn’t deserve to not be in a toxic environment? And the roommate gets to be a hero _and_ pay less in rent. He’s in a win-win situation rn. The fact that anyone thinks OP is TA is insane to me.

[@28cotton32]

I have panic attacks sometimes but there is no hollering and screaming and crying I just feel like someone is squeezing me really really tight and I can't breathe it's he's having them that frequently she really needs to see somebody I would just tell him she can't stay over no more because nobody's going to interrupt my sleep unless it's a toddler or baby

[@jameshutchinson2817]

You are killing me with the lack of resolution to that last story, I'm furious on the op's behalf. If nothing changes and I'm in his position i would get ultra aggressive and make staying at their place even more untenable then her own place

[@flamelily2086]

The woman who runs around the house screaming and carrying on for hours on end needs to have mental health help. Whether she can help her behaviour or not she needs to be told that her behaviour is unacceptable and that she must take responsibility and get help. If I was in that situation I would call the police the next time she has a meltdown and have her taken to hospital. If her medication triggers her breakdowns she needs to go to hospital where she can be monitered and her medication can be adjusted or changed.

[@chrisester2910]

Your right to swing your mental health stops at the edge of other people's lives. Get help.

[@fufufuaru]

definitely need another update for second story

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, and yes your FIL is a pervert And not just for this but all his comments about wanting to drink or ingest your milk, that he has past off as "misunderstanding". Story 1 (update): Go figure he did this crap at work too, it's a wonder he wasn't charged with any crimes. Don't bother getting the key back, change the locks. You never know how many copies FIL or MIL may have made. Story 1 (OP's Comments after the update): Good to know you had already decide to change the locks, and returning the keys was just a symbolic request.

[@damien678]

JFC roommate's girlfriend would trigger TF out of my PTSD fight response. Those meltdowns are NOT OK and she needs help.

[@wewaitandwatch]

Story 2. I've had pretty severe mental health issues going on for longer than 25 years now, and if I ever get to the point of irrationality or a fugue state because of meds/circumstance I WILL NOT EVER INVOLVE ANYONE ELSE BUT APPROPRIATE CARE. These diseases are horrible and distressing but there's no goddamn excuse for violating the health and wellbeing of those around me. Mental illness can blur perspective or empathy but that roach of a boyfriend is encouraging her to dangerous levels of instability. Goddamn. Op needs to get the hell out before it gets worse, because it absolutely will.

[@nightdweller6446]

S2 i have chronic insomnia but the non tenant GF needs to get the f out of the house shes not paying rent on. She needs help but somewhere other than ops house. Record her performances and play them for the other roomies information.

[@James-sq4sc]

Powell is a bad person to reference because he was a creeper as well. He and his father were operating closer than you think

[@raptoress6131]

Story 2: NTA, OP is a better person than I could be in that situation. I'd have burst through the door the first night borderline losing my ish.

[@lianabaddley8217]

Ummm isn't another roommate supposed to lower everyone's rent? Not just his? How is this ok at all??

[@cathrynesten4364]

I legit almost vomited when he said "breast milk yummy" 🤢😅

[@brenttaylor8907]

"I have no brain". I love the accurate "self description" of FIL and most idiots in these stories.