MY DETRANSITION TIMELINE

[@LenKagaminecv02]

This is why is important to understand the difference between gender, sexual orientation, and gender expression.

[@artemiosandoval2032]

This one is a big yep.

[@colleen9081]

And gender dysphoria

[@flaumann]

...and overall confusion

[@LenKagaminecv02]

@@joshuafowlerphotos exactly and that's why my comment. Many gay people lives in ignorance, they don't know the difference between gender, sexual orientation and gender expression and just because they like make up and dresses or heels they think they are trans but they still feel comfortable with their body yet they make the transition.

[@traumfaengerinify]

@@LenKagaminecv02 What is the difference between gender and gender expression?

[@courtjunk7]

I think if anyone is staring at you for any length of time it's probably just because of how pretty you are.

[@isobelb]

I agree, (though it might be nice for the asexual+aromatic if they dealt with their thirst without digging holes in other people like laser beams.)

[@faeriesmak]

Definitely.

[@bmx6930]

@@isobelb i think that's the case for a lot of people even if they aren't asexual. Being stared at is uncomfortable as hell. I'm not asexual but I don't like being "sexualized" especially by strangers. The thing is, maybe they aren't doing that, maybe they just appreciate her beauty but still, when there is the possibility of making someone uncomfortable we should choose not to do it. Period.

[@ggmann13]

Yep

[@ncpigpen]

100% truth.

[@katejenkins9925]

When I was kid, I thought girls could only be tomboys or girly girls. I spent my childhood rejecting all things feminine because I didn't think it was possible to like both feminine and masculine things. Now I've learnt I can enjoy video games and bike riding as well as fashion and sewing. I just wished I'd found that out sooner.

[@jos-josradvanji6203]

Meanwhile I grew up without stereotypes and there were no girly or boy things,everyone just liked whatever the hell they liked. Still have no idea how people get the impression that they can't like something unless a parent was strictly against it for some dumb reason.

[@Igni..]

When i was kid i know that dolls are for girls and cars and gun for boys. But i played with both. I played with what i liked

[@jos-josradvanji6203]

@@Igni.. that reminds me when I was young I had a Barbie car and a guy friend of mine was IN LOVE with it x'D every time I came over he asked if he can play with it.

[@Igni..]

@@jos-josradvanji6203 🤣🤣yes. I took care for a baby doll, i went out with stroller. I played that i am father and it is my child 🤣 If I had some crazy parents, they would probably raised me as a girl, I am glad that i have normal parents. I played with femmine toys but also i had a guns, lot of guns 💪🤣

[@abductedbyfairies432]

Love this reply. I've always been asked if I was a lesbian because of the things I enjoyed doing or the fact that most of my friends were males, from the same people who made me feel like a shitty female and pushed me away from their group. Growing up I've learnt that I deserve my femininity no matter what. Nature gave it to me and once you understand how it shapes you, the gratitude you feel about it is immense, once you pull out your mind from these impossible beauty standards society keeps on pushing to let you feel like a shapeless blob to sell you their "remedies". So bad that so many young minds get subjected to this system in which nature is seen as flawed or useless. It comes from the same people who says that 96% of DNA is useless and refuse to spend any time studying it tho, so what can we even say about it.

[@ZkullShot]

Your journey is an eye-opener to me for sure. I'm 19 and also a tomboy, with short hair and binding and stuff but I'm proud to express my feminine hobbies to the world now. At 13, 14 I used to think I was trans, I thought about top surgery and taking hormones but luckily I did not act on it. Now at 19, I'm fully embracing both the feminine and masculine side of my body, as I realize growing a beard or having a flat chest was just my weird attempts at validating my self-worth and using it as a coping mechanism against past sexual assault traumas.

[@honeybunch6473]

I'm relieved for you ❤

[@LowkeyXxx]

You need Jesus

[@ZkullShot]

@@LowkeyXxx nah, hell's more fun to me

[@ZkullShot]

@@LowkeyXxx guess imma pay a visit to that stinky old bastard again and make sure he ain't never leave hell

[@Cheeri0zRL]

@@LowkeyXxx spoken like a true Christian...

[@WolfgangPwnz]

Stuff like this is why I, as a trans person, do not support the "informed consent" model of "diagnosis" and strongly advocate for proper therapy under an experienced psychologist.

[@Getout634]

Woah, you're trans ? I would have never guessed. I'm sorry if this sounds stupid or insensitive in any way but I seriously would never have guessed.

[@WolfgangPwnz]

@@Getout634 No offense taken. I always tell people that's the whole point of transition lol

[@Getout634]

@@WolfgangPwnz Yeah I don't know much about the topic so I didn't want to say anything wrong lol but seriously you look great.

[@WolfgangPwnz]

@@Getout634 No problems at all. Thanks o/ I always appreciate a compliment 👍

[@Moonmoon-ws6jo]

As a trans person myself too i really think that they should have went to a professional therapist to figure out themselves more. This way they’ll figure out if its because they are just uncomfortable and awkward when they were younger and not having body dysphoria, because being awkward and insecure of your body in the early stages of puberty is normal since your body is changing and the feeling is ALMOST similar to dysphoria yet not quite, but a transperson they really dont see their body and mind connect properly even if they try super hard to be comfortable in a dress/suit or anything associated to their assigned birth sex. This is also why many transpeople are only able to transition at 19 or older because they would be able to understand their personality and body much better as their hormone levels settle and have to go to a therapist before you get top surgery or Testosterone/estrogen shots. In my country it’s recommended and required to have therapy before having a t shot ot any gender reassignment surgery to avoid any mistakes.

[@MarcoNoPolo]

Definitely one cool thing is that Delores was with you through this whole journey and loves you just the same. =)

[@namikotv8562]

That's the great part of animals friends 😔❤️❤️

[@scumofthechurch]

Not to put a damper on your comment because it was very wholesome, reptiles have been proven incapable of having emotions such as love.

[@petunia8425]

@quete inrpot wow, easy there, cutie

[@Smittyivided]

We need more people in the world like Delores lmao

[@minuishaq631]

quete inrpot 😂😂😂

[@gaarasgrl10]

I am detransiting myself FTMTF. Thank you for your videos. Everything you said in this video is 100% me. I thought it would make me happier however at the end of the day, I look back on before transitioning and felt like I made a mistake. And I was happy for that peroid of time of transitioning, living as a male, getting called he and sir, but I also felt I was lying to myself and the world. Thanks again for your story. You're beautiful ♡

[@MrLazerCatt]

Was there any difference in how you were treated as a man? Were there any perks or disadvantages you noticed?"

[@JC-li8kk]

@@MrLazerCatt People ignore you. They expect less of you.

[@MrLazerCatt]

@@JC-li8kk Oof yeah sounds about right. Though it may be perceived there are less expectations, there are actually many for men. And the reason why most men are ignored by society is because they dont live up to said expectations. For example, theres all sorts of statistics out there that say 80% of men are ignored by women on dating sites, which implies there are expectations that 80% of men dont meet.

[@JC-li8kk]

@@MrLazerCatt There’s just a lot of fluff out there that men do not find necessary to accomplish, but women do. Society recognizes this & therefore it’s women who are expected to do more because they’ve shown a willingness to do the unnecessary.

[@MrLazerCatt]

@@JC-li8kk Hmm in that case women should probably slow down on the fluff considering they own the majority of student loan and credit card debt.

[@rah_idkidk1838]

You looked good as both a male and a female. You still look good as a woman after detransitioning. I think your story is very important for people in your situation. Sometimes we have to wait, think and give things time before taking such drastic steps because some things are irreversible.

[@iuliuslovin37]

@rah_idkidk1838 sounds like a man lol...she ruined her life with this whole trans shit, this stuff should be illegal! Who believes is trans then should make a mental check, it's all about mentality...

[@mabhodlelajj1195]

Considering what you said, this is being taught in schools to children, being motivated to transition and are allowed to do so as young as 12!Democrats pushing that in schools.Anyone with normal working brain would know that's crazy.

[@elp1437]

We all need to remember that ‘looking good’ as a man or woman isn’t always that important. It’s more important to know what sex you are and find a way of accepting it. Women don’t owe anyone, pretty, they are born female and just are. Big, small, tall, cross eyed , whatever. Always a woman with a woman’s brain and feelings. I’m proud to be a woman.

[@samlee2321]

Honestly you pass even better now that you have short hair. I have no idea why, but it makes you look more like some badass biker woman who's expected to have a smoker voice lmao. Anyway great vid, as a transguy I think it's important to hear both successful transition and detransition stories to know for sure what's right for me. So keep it up ;)

[@PACKERMAN2077]

So basically 90s biker Wonder woman with a buzz cut and a gold motorcycle chain lasso? 🤣

[@samlee2321]

@Mindless Beast yes definitely. There's people who still haven't regretted transitioning who're on an older age, for example Buck Angel. There's a lot of trans people who used to be suicidal but are living a happy life now that they transitioned. The detransition rate is less than 1% and almost all of those weren't trans either way, and if they were it's bc of the social pressure. Obviously we have to make sure people who do transition are actually trans, but if they are, transitioning could be a life saver

[@Solo-vh9fm]

Mindless Beast People who have gender dysphoria and take on appearance and roles of the other sex (hormonal, surgical, id) presumably

[@hiidefxyz]

@Mindless Beast people who are trans... people who have gender dysphoria... how about get your transphobic a// out of this reply section, oki?

[@hiidefxyz]

@@Solo-vh9fm you don't have to transition in order to he trans...

[@xwash2406]

i literally had this question a couple days ago like “do people ever regret transitioning and then like undo it?” youtube was listening 😂 👀

[@DaniellesDentureDiaries]

Every. Time. My phone hears all and it freaks me out! Pinterest included lol. It advertised a reese's Easter egg with my sons name in icing on it! 🧐🧐🧐🧐🥴🥴🥴🥴

[@LeeTheLee]

@@DaniellesDentureDiaries what the heck.. this is why intune mines off.

[@DaniellesDentureDiaries]

@@LeeTheLee I can't keep mine (my phone is what I'm assuming you meant?) off all day lol. I work and need top have contact with my family.

[@ItsRealyReall]

I just noticed pinterest doing that kinda crap as well,' but didn't see anyone mention it until you. O.O oh my gosh are you serious with that last part??! I would be so friggen livid if I saw something like that

[@DaniellesDentureDiaries]

@@ItsRealyReall yeah it happened this past Easter before that it wasn't as bad. It had started showing advertisements for my "dream vehicle", a black Escalade.... 2 days later.... 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️

[@bsbarnette]

You’re one of the few people who could pull off all of those looks and make them look good.

[@davidbranch3104]

Agreed👍

[@stevonniewolf2951]

Ryan always look like a supermodel.

[@Em_Elizabeth]

Pulling off the variety is impressive.

[@berenicececilia]

Thanks for sharing this. I like to hear you talking about what happened to you and how you never ever not even once vilified trans existence or the transition process. It's all about information and self discovery, I hope we move on and young folks can undertands what's sex, gender, sexual orientation and gender expression.

[@ThisArchitect1]

She’s actually freakin gorgeous. That must’ve been a tough journey.

[@AlienGenotype]

No bullshit she's one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen, so sad she went through this. luckily she didn't do any surgery and it's mostly only her voice that will need a long time to correct itself

[@micahbellonline9462]

Yah, ugly people have it waaay easier.

[@embersandash]

@@AlienGenotype voice will never correct itself. Voice changes caused by hormone use is permanent.

[@AlienGenotype]

@@embersandash that's unfortunate

[@WhoDeyThink]

Literally beautiful!!!! Gorgeous as a guy, too. That face is timeless

[@alondracarrillo1278]

"I'm going to include a clip here of my pre transition voice..." KZbin ad: "This dating app called bumble, hAvE yOu hEaRd oF iT?"

[@anjelica7684]

Lol I got a grub hub add for my fat ass

[@honieethesolarpunk4895]

Lol

[@treacherousjslither6920]

Yeah the girl from the ad has a deep (yet feminine) voice lol

[@Wompwomp5698]

Lmao I got a joe Biden ad

[@NessaMtz4grimmie]

I got the liberty mutual one 😁 hilarious

[@89소피]

Goodness, what a gorgeous looking human no matter the gender orientation. I hope you know you're beautiful.

[@J.8_909]

89소피 *gender identity

[@z_bennet4208]

Yeah right!!??

[@lolabow5421]

A Beautiful Soul💗

[@NikkiColeBear]

RIGHT! I wish I looked that good (as man or woman). You are being stared at because you are attractive either way.

[@gratius1394]

Just to put it out there - men are never "gorgeous". We're "ugly", "average", "good looking" or "handsome". Sure, some may be consider themselves "fabulous" but that's a very distinct minority.

[@Nonayabizness360]

I was a total tomboy and I was bullied, I also had extremely large breasts and grew up in an extremely abusive household. I never felt comfortable in my own skin until much later in life. I’m so grateful that I am not growing up today because they would have told me that I was transgender. A huge part of the problem is our media and the sexualization of us women way too young. It changes the way everyone looks at us from a young age on and it makes us when we are already uncomfortable with our bodies even more uncomfortable. I hope you have found happiness, you are beautiful inside and that is what matters the most. I’m sorry you went through this but I am happy that you found your voice and felt comfortable enough to be your true self. Sending positive vibes your way.

[@sheepmasterrace]

i feel like some doctors are way to fast to jump to the conclusion of LGBTQ as if it’s a dream cure. I don’t think it would be good to get told that you’re transgender. Because then that’s the same stuff as oh you’re a man. You should get the resources to decide on your own

[@milan0404]

ok but did we have to know your breasts were "extremely large" like girl stfu 😭

[@jodyariewitz7349]

Same here! I think it's easy ( especially if you are unlucky enough to develop early, in a preditory/abusive environment-which I was as well!) to mistake the fear/anger/confusion you go through when all of a sudden, you are PREY...(just everyone's frigging victim!) for something other than what it is! I tried to starve them off, then cut them off myself (believe it or not!) thought I was gay, then trans, then Asexual when really I was just HURTING and in need of serious (longterm) therapy, which thankfully I got. Fast forward, I've been happily married for 16 years and raised a beautiful family. None of that would have ever taken place if I had been encouraged to make a permanent change while in a broken state of mind! I'm so thankful for people like you, who are getting the TRUTH of this out there (despite the HYPOCRITICAL hate you're all receiving from a community that's supposed to be all about loving yourself for who you TRULY are...as long as it's TRANS, I GUESS?!! That must be the quite part they don't add...we accept everyone who agrees 100 percent that this is a great idea for young people to do!!

[@BWings-ub4ej]

People stare at you because you’re stunning, in short or long hair. You’re a beautiful human, love yourself, and embrace who you really are. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@bigdeal5394]

Who she REALLY is, is what she was born at birth. Embrace it! And no, people were staring because it's unnatural

[@BWings-ub4ej]

@@bigdeal5394 I’m no one to judge, and only God knows the childhood trauma that triggered the transition in the first place. Either way, when I wrote “people stare”, I was referring to this young person’s natural beauty (facial bone structure, eye color, and so on). Sad that you can’t see that, and encourage someone sharing their personal journey.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@BWings-ub4ejYou noticed that. She’s looks absolutely gorgeous with short hair.

[@chrisburns5532]

but i don't identify as a human

[@pormisericordia]

God never gets wrong. He made you a super beautiful girl!!

[@Amaling]

Damn girl you got so many hairstyles in this vid, and almost all of them are dope as hell

[@Maiant]

A little hint for anyone who needs it: Don't "try" to be a "man" or "woman". Just be you. We struggle when we try to live up to society's definitions. Just be yourself, whomever that is. Don't stress over what you can't control.

[@aliendays5616]

right. my gender confusion went away when i stopped thinking of myself as a "woman", but rather a "person who just so happens to be a woman." shifts the focus from gender, to you as an individual.

[@kyriana4745]

Some people have legit body dysphoria though, so trying to have a different frame of mind or social interactions won't necessarily help. This is especially true for trans women dealing with testosterone which can feel like your body is attacking itself. I relate to FTM detransitioners a lot as a trans woman. Some of the struggles are quite similar.

[@ludker675]

@Slava Gorbunov even science doesn't know exactly how body/gender dysphoria works yet. this is an old topic that have been emphasized kinda recently, and it still needs to be studied.

[@5roundsrapid263]

This. I grew up in a small town with macho guys, but I never was. I liked books, music, art, etc. My dad was similar, so that helped. He never made me hide my feelings or hold anything in.

[@honestly-contented]

Omfg yes. This is what helped me a couple days ago when the thoughts of whether I was trans or not were consuming my brain. Let’s get this to top comment

[@rockpaizis4088]

That was one of the most heartfelt, honest and articulate videos I've ever watched on a young person's sexuality. I'm a 64-yr old hetero male, married to a wonderful woman x 35 yrs. I had an extremely liberal upbringing, and my 22-yr old son has 3 friends struggling w/ their sexual ID. My son offers these freinds unbiased support, as should we all.

[@Malu-di1ur]

When you talked about not having to deal with being over sexualized as a woman... that hit close to home for me. When I was younger I thought I could be trans because of that, the way society (but especially family in my case) treated my gender. That was until I asked myself if I still would like to be a guy if society didn't exist, and I answeared no.

[@humanoide7076]

Same, I wanted to be a guy because of that, to this day I wear overseized clothes because If I wear fitting clothes guys stare at me (or say things to me) because of my breast or my entire body (Im latina and fit the stereotype of one except the tanned skin, you know the curvy body and all) and I hate that, being seen as an object or sexualized just because Im a woman pr being told that I belong in the kitchen and that if I have a strong character then Im a bitch but if a guy is like that then is a leader, same when I play videogames, they say go back to the kitchen, you know those things.

[@humanoide7076]

@veronica carlson Yes thats true, lucky for me I wasnt raised that way and that is strange for a lot of people, its absurd for a woman here to not want to be someones wife or hace children

[@kevv7874]

The grass is always greener on the other side. You would just trade one set of problems for another.

[@Malu-di1ur]

@@humanoide7076 right? I'm so tired of being harassed, especially when walking around. In video games too, it bothered me to the point where I changed my username and don't use the mic

[@Malu-di1ur]

@@kevv7874 I know... but in my head I thought I'd be able to handle "guys issues" better than girls ones, but looking back now I'm not so sure about that. I guess I was just tired of being objectifyed/held back/harassed by so many, however I'm slowly learning how to deal with it and give my own "power" to myself again. In my vision i guess I wouldn't have to deal with this type of shit if I were a guy. Hope that wasn't too vague lol but long story short i agree with you

[@alicefreist318]

It sounds like you were going through totally normal teenage shit in a world that pressures us to do too much, too fast, too sexualized. There is so much pressure to be "feminine" or "masculine" in ways that do not matter, and while some have no problem conforming, a few of us do. You are a beautiful woman and a beautiful man, but I do not think you know this in your heart. I do hope you really get it that there is much more to life and living than how we look. For me, it has always been the person I am attracted to, not their plumbing. I couldn't care any less, so long as my lover/partner is OK with their own self. I hope you also know that you are worthy of love, loyalty, and affection regardless of your hair length or makeup. You are a brave person to share this. More power to you!

[@AngelDeed]

I agree but I would add a third type: those few who just do whatever they want because they genuinely don't care and societal pressure doesn't affect them. They are lucky. 💁

[@MegaBlackpaper]

Bigotry

[@smithhoowe]

Suuure??? I guess.

[@kittybxoxo]

Very well said

[@jeffw1267]

Shit, in America they force little kids to do it if ONE parent wants the transition.

[@susieashby7250]

I was born a female and voice is naturally much deeper than yours. If your voice bothers you, don't worry about it. There are so many of us out there!!!!! Keep strong!

[@HAYAOLEONE]

Suuuuure..

[@snowyhudson975]

this comment has literally nothing to do with anything. "If you like chocolate milk and it bothers you, don't worry about it! there are so many of us out there! keep strong!!!!"

[@Nonethelessersoul]

watching this video i relate so much to you and your experience. you actually summed it up exactly how i feel right now. i am starting my detransitioning process this year and i'm keeping a really open mind. but like you said, this has given me a perspective i never thought i would have otherwise. i'm 3.5 years in to taking testosterone though, and only 2 months off of it so... yeah. i've started to tell close friends about it, and starting to embrace my feminine side again. and it feels overwhelmingly euphoric to be able to do that. it feels like i was so heavy and bearing so much weight for no real reason, and finally able to let go of it and breathe again.

[@jenniferstrickland_author]

Womanhood is so much deeper than how you look. I wish more young people understood this. thank you for sharing your story. you are courageous.

[@snowyhudson975]

how "deep" womanhood is has literally nothing to do with this or with anything trans related. it doesn't matter whether more young people agree with you. so few are transgender, i have to wonder why you even post this. unless you are yourself transgender, this subject has nothing to do with you and you have no meaningful opinion regarding it whatever.

[@markdegloria4038]

So first a transition then a detransition then metamorphosis into a bearded Dragon. Some courageous adventure.

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

They can’t even understand long term consequences till at least 25. It seems like medical abuse.

[@norbclementerodrig1]

Woman-hood, just a word to describe what you wish to be but can't

[@verily360]

Sad story to me is ellen page also

[@spacetimecontinuum]

I'm shook that testosterone permanently changes your voice like that, I would have just assumed THAT was the easiest thing to undo. I wish you the best.

[@worldserpent731]

Lol, no that's not how it works.

[@desireandfire]

She can do therapy that'll help her try to get her voice back. Lots of trans women make their post puberty voices sound female so I'm sure she can do it

[@doubleboy2388]

@@desireandfire her voice will never go back. Don't put out this false narrative to people out there who are thinking of transitioning but not really sure. This is a good example of what can happen when you're not really trans but do this. Go watch all of the detransitioners videos, they all have a permanent deep voice now. Elle Palmer...

[@probitionate]

@@doubleboy2388 You see it in women's bodybuilding. (Not in all instances.) This low voice...lower than mine...coming out of this woman's mouth is always a shocker.

[@skrittle555]

@@doubleboy2388 i mean have you never heard of voice training? speech and language pathology? it is absolutely possible to train yourself to talk higher or lower. it just takes months if not years of hard work and consistent practice with good technique. it's not something that anyone probably wants to have to do, but don't lie to people and tell them it's impossible. TransVoiceLessons here on yt is a great resource.

[@erichienz6368]

"Just because you are transitioning doesn't mean you are creating a different person. It's not an escape, you're supposed to be embracing who you actually are" This is a really nice quote, and excellent advice for anyone who might be considering transitioning. I think it could be said that "embracing yourself" is a strong theme throughout your whole channel, and its that theme that makes your videos so interesting to me. Your videos have such a genuine, human feeling that makes you feel incredibly relatable, despite me not actually having much in common with you.

[@epifan3_]

It’s crazy how she is as beautiful as she is handsome! She’s also very logical and I love the way this process was detailed as well as the encouraging words! Great job! ❤

[@alessandracastillo4458]

this speaks so much about our society. fact that an asexual woman had to transition to feel a bit less sexualized. gorgeous person either way but does say a lot about how things are.

[@Sunflower-sn9ij]

For a long time i wasnt sure what i was either till i started hearing about asexual people. Im very sure thats what i am but it been hard because so many argue its not a thing. I think its just that it hasn't been studied enough and people just dont understand it. I mostly keep it to myself but people i told almost always tell me that ill find someone and that feeling will go away but it hasnt changed and its not going to. its been hard understanding and accepting these feelings and it really doesnt help when people tell you its just something that will go away.

[@Omar_ToxicBanana1701]

today lesbian women are sexualizing women as much as men are, my sister the other day was complaining about what sounded like a quiet sexual offense ,body language based sexual offense by a woman at the woman toilet !!!!!, just hearing that was like a signal of a whole new brand of fkdupness coming up.

[@notsayingimbetterthanyoubu3187]

@@captaincaveman2040 ya that seems like a healthy response. Please teach me more oh toxic one

[@captaincaveman2040]

You have learned much...Yet there is much to teach you.😌

[@LordVader1094]

Lmao "this says a lot about our society" you sound like one of those joker memes

[@moriahlyn]

Admitting a mistake of this level says a lot about you

[@Nergal_Slayer]

Definitely

[@ufukthegreat0]

Yeah, most people would just prefer to suicide. Killing yourself is not a solution. At least she accepted her fault and decided to fix it as much as she could fix.

[@fosminclorin]

That's why trained professionals should figure out if someone has actual gender dysphoria or just insecurities about themselves or just not fitting the stereotypes of the gender. If only they'd actually existed, cause it's messed up to just give hormones and surgeries to whoever asks for it. The damage can't be undone and even kids are allowed to "consent" in this matter. The western countries will be hold accountable when too many kids detransition.

[@d3vilslettuce]

it also says a lot about the education system and society in general

[@jesseramirez9062]

Should've never done it initially. Woke culture is an evil cult

[@melindavale9570]

I've been mistaken for a guy so many times in my life. But I'm female and I just happen to not identify at all with the whole make-up and fashion side of things. And that is absolutely okay. Don't let culture define how you express who you are.

[@cassie8844]

Same

[@laswan5]

Same here.

[@Otakuhannah121]

Same

[@setMaddy]

refreshing to hear a story from a detransitioner that doesnt put the trans community down, ive heard a little too many of those in my feed lately. :(

[@pobbrett3244]

I'd imagine that if you're being stared at its because you are strikingly pretty rather than people questioning your gender

[@oyemate8647]

True. I dont think she looked good as a guy but as a girl shes stunning

[@aruku4round]

I tought people were joking when saying she turned onto a lizard in the end. Well. As long as you're happy

[@RedStefan]

She is detransitioning into the lizard form. Part of the rulling elite :)

[@andresbolanos7250]

I can turn onto a car headlight just because i feel like it. As long as I am happy right ?

[@ABCD-vm1mx]

Andres Bolaños yessir.

[@andresbolanos7250]

@@ABCD-vm1mx ohhh you lefties😂😂. Where would we be without your unfounded train of thought 😂😂

[@ABCD-vm1mx]

Andres Bolaños im actually conservative, but I also mind my own fucking business, when people make decisions that don’t impact my life directly.

[@flyingsquirrel965]

As a trans guy, I'm happy for you and wish you the best. Your journey is as important as any other person's. Thanks you for sharing it

[@j.s.2490]

This journey wouldn't happen if a professional doctor would be involved.

[@sablechicken]

@@j.s.2490 Doctors that aid in the transition should be jailed.

[@miles4939]

@@sablechicken uh.. no..?

[@utharaunnikrishnan2562]

@@sablechicken shut up

[@sablechicken]

@@utharaunnikrishnan2562 What are you trying to say? It is hard to understand you with your muzzle on...keep following your doctors orders...it helps keep him rich.

[@sophietucker3163]

Thanks for sharing 😊 A common denominator I’m seeing is obsessive self-centric thinking. If you push out your focus onto the world around, you stop worrying about trivial things like people ‘misgendering’ you. Start to change your focus and attention to others, and the world around you. And you will feel a lot more free and happy. Whether you’re a true trans or not. Doesn’t matter. Much love 💗

[@20000dino]

"you stop worrying about trivial things like people ‘misgendering’ you" Maybe it's "trivial" to you because it literally doesn't affect you. I bet if everyone started socializing you by the opposite binary gender, you wouldn't find it so insignificant. Keep your transphobia and pick me behavior to yourself, no one cares.

[@xobrynn90]

Thanks for being a blatant transphobe! /s "obsessive self centric thinking' is what YOU have, believing the world should bend to your will. Seek help.

[@NagiSeishirou-il2rr]

Stop being a hypocrite, everyone is self centric. Stop telling people to do otherwise

[@object1ion]

@@NagiSeishirou-il2rr 🙄instead of finding a reason to be offended, perhaps try fully comprehending what you are reading first. they said "OBSESSIVE self-centric thinking". maybe humble yourself and stop trying to hide from/silence anything that may be PERCEIVED as judgement to your fragile ears. MOST people can benefit from being less ego-centric.

[@newtexan1]

No. Common denominator is NO FATHER!

[@gabrielbarry4441]

Guys you do NOT have to change your gender just because your a female who like guy things or guy or like girl things. That why you HAVE to go through counseling to make sure this is the right thing for YOU. Cause it is not for everyone, it has irreversible effects. It’s okay to be a Tom boy, it’s okay to be a feminine guy, it’s not okay to permanently mess yourself up for the rest of your life. There are so so many people who detransition and the ones who were happy with the change truly had dysphoria and extremely negative feelings towards the natural born sex. So please people think before you do this. And I’m apart of the LGBT community and although some would have you think other wise but it IS somthing that needs to be diagnosed by a doctor, and there absolutely nothing wrong with that. Blessed be 🌛🌕🌜

[@nanamiharuka3269]

and what you’re saying is exactly why we need to break down gender roles, expectations, and the over sexualization of female bodies. If we just gave everyone the respect and room to be who they are and express themselves how they want there would be a lot happier less stifled less confused people who feel whole in their gender identity whether cis or trans.

[@gabrielbarry4441]

Nanami Haruka agreed

[@hudsonja]

I connect with this because although I love women, I am also a pretty emotional man and am in touch with my feelings. I would never be attracted to a man, but I also cry and get emotional at a lot of things. I love all aspects of being with women and also love "dude" shit like woodworking, riding motorcycles, building things, gaming, etc. but I couldn't be a woman.

[@DinosaurNick]

As a bisexual Tomboy I support this!

[@Meleena2218]

@@hudsonja which is sad that you have to defend yourself acting human. Emotions aren't sex related but our society makes it hard for men to openly show them. If you're sad, be sad. If you're happy, be happy. It does your health more damage hiding your emotions than letting them out. And there is nothing wrong for men to cry or be visually upset. Much love and keep being you.

[@ohhadivist]

I definitely would've regretted transitioning if I had gone with my instinct to do so as a teenager, and I DID have gender dysphoria ever since I was a little kid. But now at 23 I just don't think transitioning would have been right for me and I'm glad I didn't. I'm just me! Living with what I've got, doing what I feel like doing with it. Vibing. This is just a temporary flesh vessel for my brain living in a world of made-up stereotypes based on the shape your body ended up being on a coin toss and I've got bigger things to worry about.

[@meaculpa7779]

Learning to accept ourselves and be comfortable in our bodies is the most important part of maturing. Sure things like plastic surgery exist but it leads to a bigger issue of never being satisfied with ourselves. There is a far deeper issue there.

[@samsonquies7922]

Personally, transitioning for me saved my life

[@saraswatishaktimayi]

What a beautiful, grounded perspective ❤

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

You're my hero. You are so right. That was short, bold and to the point! I don't know if you realize it yet bro, but you Rock! You expressed yourself beautifully. Wow, when it's the truth there's literally nothing anyone can say? Awesome 👌

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

@@meaculpa7779 Exactly! you're so young, how'd you get to be so wise...

[@lzsego]

They're staring because you're actually really pretty.

[@Supernaturawr]

Indeed! I would probably be one of them thinking "I wish to be beautiful and cool as she is" 😭😂

[@kiwisweet5520]

they don’t want to be sexualized tho 😐

[@ellie7878]

@@kiwisweet5520 do you think the people staring in coffee shops and on the street know that?

[@margaretlopez8351]

Gorgeous

[@kellen5545]

A gorgeous human being period.

[@pritharoy5309]

It is true social media can be cruel sometimes, but this brave journey of yours that you have showcased here, and all the brave comments in here, they are just so so much...all the goodness that every person going through self-questiong needs....its not a question of being old or young, white or black, trans or cis...its about accepting yourself and accepting all diversities within and outside us... whatever phase of life/ self-questioning/ transitioning/ growth,you are in, you are always worthy ... thanks for all the posiivity here!

[@Sapanator]

This hits hard. Growing up I wanted to be a guy so much, and that feeling only grew stronger through my teenage years. I learned that I was Bi-Sexual, hated make-up, liked video games(back then only male gamers were well known), and dressed as a guy. I was embarrassed to be female because femininity was so foreign to me. It took years of therapy to reach the point of self-acceptance and to understand how my childhood played a major role in my self identity. Long story short, I wanted to transition for the wrong reasons, and I'm glad I didn't. I had a friend growing up that transitioned(Male to Female) and for the first time in their life, they are happy and confident with who they are, both on the inside and outside. I'm glad you made the decision that made you most happy. Cheers.

[@gregwarrener4848]

you sound like the reel deal of one of the dope girls back in the day. the wierd one in their group of friends, or the girl that is not like every other girl. i wish we hung out when we were younger, i love misfits. honestly, i dont htink you realise how jealous people truely are of your childhood. cootos on being true to yourself during childhood and not falling for peer pressure.

[@arcoiris890]

nothing's wrong with you, I've never had sex and I'm 30. I am in a 2 and half year relationship. We are extremely attracted to each other, even sexually, but not ready for consequences, so we don't. Before him, I didn't even want a relationship--ever--I never wanted to get married, have kids, etc, so I was not romantic either. (I'm growing to like it as he is romantic). And I still wear pijamas and don't do my hair. Don't know how to do a lot of "lady-like" things, but that doesn't make me any less feminine. My essence is feminine. That's all I need.

[@MM-ly5vb]

Amen to that sister 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@ThatGuyToYourLeft]

Lol. Beta males. Forever in the friend zone 🤣

[@Observette]

This is awesome. Sending you best wishes and respect 😊

[@ggundercover3681]

yea, just be you at this point. I'm glad you found someone who gets that.

[@zoecain123]

consequences??

[@chikitronrx0]

This is the history of how a woman turned into a lizard named Dolores. I'm waiting for a movie.

[@michellec3135]

haahahahaahahahahahaha

[@tiagogomez2804]

NSBSKSJS I CANT-

[@dcon1017]

I don't remember turning into a lizard 😂

[@Fawnziex]

Dolores Connolly LMAO

[@Winnin_Within]

Imagine living in a world where everyone praised you for trying to make ur self the opposite sex and they ridicule you if you actually try to go back to your ORIGINAL gender/sex.

[@dorcaskerr6384]

"Do what's right for you" ...problem is people make decisions with permanent consequences when they arent in a healthy mental state, or have the life experience to know what is right for them. Lots of horror stories out there, even just those drugs aren't harmless, especially in teen agers.

[@dreamcoma2213]

If somebody stares at you for too long, it's probably because they are thinking how gorgeous you are!

[@davigrant205]

Or...

[@Bruno-gj4jj]

Stolen comment

[@victoriaadkins3729]

100% this

[@rager_fox8147]

Dito

[@Betcaligarcia]

Absolutely

[@elisacoclite6140]

I like how respectful towards the trans community you are, unlike all the other videos and articles I watched and read that only blamed and shamed trans people.

[@smithhoowe]

Thats because Trumpers get adrenaline highs from being shitastic.

[@sneke4429]

@@smithhoowe "See I told you trans blah blah blah bad blah blah" -Trumpster

[@isabilia]

I feel the same way, this is genuinely so refreshing to see

[@johneeeemarry34]

She ke - most people don’t live in America, keep your TDS to your self.. it’s easier to deal with than what these people are experiencing.

[@xanpollaro3444]

No sweetie, you’re just beautiful, that’s why they stare

[@oyemate8647]

True tho shes so pretty i cant

[@Frau.Kanzlerin]

I agree. I don't think a low voice makes a woman unattractive at all and that's the only really "masculine" thing about her. I'd like to point out that many natal women have naturally low voices. She's gorgeous and I'd never think she's male.

[@Dabbel2]

Exactly

[@israelalanis3454]

She is cute

[@dawnofanewday3458]

Thank you for continuing to share your story. So many need you, so please keep speaking out..

[@sheeptonight521]

I love how she says Howdy every time 😂😂😂

[@thesilentminority961]

Yea I wonder how she got it. Like if it’s a thing she worked on.

[@cerberv5040]

Howdy pardner! Honestly every time I imagine her stomping around in her cowboy boots and tipping her cowboy hat xD

[@AntiAnathema]

Yee haw

[@MiguelMartinez-ou5wk]

@@cerberv5040 I imagine sandy cheeks

[@JoshuaKimbrough]

@@thesilentminority961 shes from the country, if you can't hear the accent

[@carmaela2689]

I think content like this is so important. Everyone is so intent on picking a side. Really, we all just need to tune into ourselves and who we really are and then we need to hold space for each other to just BE. Hope you are doing well and have much happiness. You are perfect.

[@poisoned_soju1216]

As an asexual woman i feel trapped in modern society, because sex is everywhere. Literally everywhere. It's awful. I feel broken and alone all the time because i can't have a relationship.

[@missMoonnfire]

I am not so sure there is such a thing as a "normal" relationship. Every relationship is different based on the people in them. We all seek a partner that compliments us. So I am sure there are many out there that feel the way you do. Perhaps, finding a group with like minded feelings can help you find the right person.

[@poisoned_soju1216]

@@missMoonnfire "normal" as people who feel sexual attraction towards each other.

[@missMoonnfire]

@@poisoned_soju1216 you stated you are asexual. I know there are many others out there that feel the same way. The thing is though, ask any elderly couple that has been together for a long time and you will quickly discover that sex is a really tiny part of a long term relationship. Sure it can be important if you are looking to start a family but in the long term, it really matters much less than other things that draw us together.

[@AzTheSpaz]

Trust me, the oposut end of the spectrum is just as confusing. Me and my partner have such high sex drives that it gets in the way of life and brings us both down at times. Or mutual friend is asexual and we wish we could find a balance somewhere.

[@KevinUchihaOG]

sorry for asking, but if you are asexual then why is relationship so important? Im not saying sex is the only reason for a relationship, but doesnt asexual mean you arent even attracted to peoples physical appearance? Wouldnt a relationship as an asexual just be like... a really really strong friendship?

[@Lu3305]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure this will be encouraging to other detransitioners. I'm glad to hear you say you learned some valuable things through the experience and that it wasn't all a mistake because of the things you learned and perspectives you got. Good for you. You seem to be coming into your own! And you are truly beautiful.

[@streetmagik3105]

"here's a clip of me with my pre-trans voice." Immediately cuts to Liberty Mutual ad with the Emu yapping. 🤣🤣 That's a big difference!

[@youngmosh]

I'm FTM and I've been watching your videos. I am sorry things didn't work out for you but I commend you for being strong and doing what you think is best for you! I feel like the conversation surrounding detransition is toxic on both sides (cis ppl and trans ppl) and I think it's important to have healthy conversations about it. I'm happy you don't think transitioning is bad, it just wasn't right for you.

[@andricardenas7854]

I agree, we should be more open about those topics and cis ppl should stop to using these cases for their hate speeches, cause people are not props

[@debbiemarie2093]

All i notice, is you looked so much happier as a girl before everything. In all your boy pics you look so sad. 🥺💔 As a mom, that broke my heart. Good luck with your journey. 💕

[@t.mutabilis2497]

true! and i'm very used to see this going the other way around, so this video just made me a little bit more of a essentialist lol

[@madshader]

I'm so sad that you had to go through all of this. It's so frustrating to know that there are people that are so confused that they make such drastic changes they end up regretting.

[@creepercat8536]

@@charbucket1830wow that was actually really beautiful

[@maggiereedy4079]

If people are staring at you, it's because you're gorgeous. You look fantastic with short hair, it's very modern and fresh. You look beautiful and long hair too, honestly, you can pull off any look you like

[@countyman222]

What I hear throughout your conversation with us is something that I've been seeing in the culture for a while now. There is an issue with people being comfortable developing real friendship and being able to experience real, genuine intimacy within friendship that doesn't require sex or even romance. We need to reclaim real friendship. I hope you find that in your life.

[@Zee_1003]

you're naturally pretty...I'm just sad that when people have these issues, they quickly jump into surgery...only to regret it in the end.

[@Alex-gk3fk]

exactly!

[@CallMeJeevas]

most people that have "these issues" are happy after surgery. in very few cases people "jump into" these surgerys... they have to fight a long time to get these surgeries

[@Alex-gk3fk]

@@CallMeJeevas that's right. people who are suffering from gender dysphoria will most likely benefit from doing this type of surgery. but in this case, we are talking about teenagers who are going through some phases or people who simply jump into this type of surgery as a form of escape or misunderstanding of their own mental problems. it's very sad. these kind of people should consider going to therapy before doing anything.

[@mlg5had0w34]

Enfant terrible the suicide rate is 50%

[@lovelyhatred9307]

@@Alex-gk3fk dysphoria* In simpler terms, a person with gender dysphoria is not mentally ill; they are dissatisfied with the gender assigned at their birth. A person with body dysmorphia has a disorder in which they perceive their body or face as “ugly,” “fat,” or otherwise unattractive despite medical or personal reassurances. (Off google) Not trying to offend

[@joecci1]

You're absolutely gorgeous... Even with the short hair you're stunning, beautiful and very feminine. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@Draeandor]

So I just basically binge watched all of your videos end to end, and wow, this was a real eye opener. I'm a CIS, straight male, who never would have known of what a trans/detrans person would have to cope with in their daily life. I'm pretty sure you must have gained a unique perspective on people and society, having lived on both "sides". But regardless, your decisions brought you here, sharing your story with people like me, and I'm very grateful for having stumbled on your channel by random chance. Thank you very much, and you are a definitely a great person! Keep being awesome Ryan! And I'm looking forward to your horror gaming vids! :D

[@murmurcub]

We need therapy, PROFESSIONAL therapy is needed in everyone's life, cis trans, everyone has problems and we need to resolve them for our own sake.

[@trevisrobotie924]

the older generations' lifestyles(diet especially)paved the way for their future children...and things are getting worse. we have absolutely no respect for Nature,our food only fills us up,while slowly messing up our chemistry. capisci?

[@lostinspace699]

We need ,,,, bushtit if you want to trans ;; you can when you leave home get a job .and grow up ...,,,,,,, and pay for shit ,,,.

[@rawminimalist9043]

Yep

[@rawminimalist9043]

Helps us to sort out the internal thoughts

[@tubester4567]

It really makes me sad that a lot of young people dont understand that its normal to have confusion and issues around identity and sexuality in your teenage years. Its part of puberty, and people have known it for centuries. Its a huge mistake for most people to make life altering decisions in that period of you life.

[@caryn2492]

You're a strong young lady and very courageous to discuss this so openly. You're also very beautiful and have a good heart. And I so agree with you when you say "Screw what other people think" because no one has the right to judge you. More power to you!!

[@KaiaHendricks]

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I've also detransitioned from ftm back to female and I absolutely hate the depth of my voice from being on T. I've been doing vocal therapy to brighten my voice and change the pitch back to something closer to my pre t voice and it's really helping. I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone detransitioning back to female or any trans women who feel dysphoric about their voices xx

[@MachineFight]

Just tell people you're a heavy smoker. 🤷‍♂️

[@saravee3474]

you definitely rock both genders.

[@saravee3474]

Grimaldus Dark idk testosterone does a lot of wonders. a lot. i’m glad she found what makes herself most comfortable.

[@ironwasp5954]

Grimaldus Dark There’s nothing wrong with having feminine features as a man. Plenty of people are into guys like that. Furthermore, the choice to transition should be based on it feeling right to you, not on how you’re perceived or whether or not you pass

[@dddd717]

That’s what I’m saying So jealous because I want to be a pretty girl but have this Danny Trejo face 🤮

[@hiidefxyz]

@Grimaldus Dark some people like femine features in men.... she never looked like a boy... if she transitioned more, she might've looked more like a "man"

[@joshwhipkey9957]

@Grimaldus Dark testosterone would have fixed the jaw over time...just saying glad she's happy though

[@lenny2939]

SaltyAlty, from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU FOR being so open, honest and clearly describing what you felt and went through during your journey.

[@RudeAlert]

I'd say the lesson to take out of this is that society needs more education about the multiplicity of sexual orientations, including asexuality. Being well-informed can help alleviate and avoid so many unnecessary problems and complications. Also, if people stare at you (which, I admit is pretty creepy and rude) it's likely because you're a total babe. No joke, you look better than most professional models.

[@smithhoowe]

A.K.A. Dumbest comment yet. Yay you won! BTW what is asexuality?

[@maricela498]

Better sex education in public schools, just in general. Yes, she's a gorgeous person!

[@narnia1233]

Or maybe ppl need to be less obsessed with appearance and sex? It’s annoying how all the comments on here are just emphasizing how beautiful they are. Like really? That’s all you care about? It makes me glad to be a millennial that grew up with less technology. Cause young ppl just use it to heighten the obsession with appearance. Real love is getting to know a person, you don’t have to be picture perfect. Also stop obsessing with sex at a young age, seriously it’s not necessary. Until you can afford to live on your own and raise a family just don’t worry too much about it. I dunno, but usually ppl don’t get into serious relationships until their twenties from my experience. I was a nerd in high school and wouldn’t have been ready for an intimate relationship during that time, and I think that’s not that abnormal. You’re not really all grown up when you’re a teenager. It takes time and some ppl mature later than others. You don’t need to change yourself, give yourself time to grow up more.

[@RudeAlert]

@@narnia1233 awwwwww, your assumptions are absolutely adorable. First, far from everyone in the comments on her videos is commenting on her appearance, so maybe stop obsessing over that and you'll actually see what's right in front of your face. Second, the cut-off point varies on who you talk to, but were I a year or two older I'd be a gen-Xer. So, sorry kid, you missed the mark on that one too. Third, who the hell ever said anything about "real love?" That's really random and kinda weird in this context. No one in the comments here actually knows her. She's basically as much a stranger to all of us as we are to her. The very little that anyone here knows about her is what little she's told us about herself so far, which is very little compared to the full depth and complexity of a whole person. Fourth, I may not know her personally, but from her videos I get the very strong impression that she's definitely not some poor defenseless little girl who needs some random simping Internet "white knight" randomly talking about "real love" to come to her rescue. And fifth, since you randomly brought up "real love" for whatever reason, how about you start with basic respect and refer to her by her actual gender? She's a "she" not a "they." If you want to be a noble "white knight," at least do it right. I feel like we used to have a better grade of Internet trolls back in they day. Now you guys are just getting lazy. If you're gonna troll, at least have the self-respect to put a little effort into it for god's sake, have some confidence in your effort. This was just feeble.

[@RudeAlert]

@@narnia1233 Ok, I had missed the lower part of your comment, so sorry I take it back, you did put some effort into your trolling after all, my bad. "[...] all kinds of pointless drivel ending with [...] give yourself time to grow up more." That is some quality condescension there my dude, well done.

[@EmeraldPixelGamingEPG]

I'm refreshed to see so much genuine honesty here, especially for things which people wouldn't want to admit in many occasions

[@hermitcard4494]

Human nature: we don't regret most choices, only their permanent or long term consequences.

[@souschefb5881]

Gender isn't a choice.

[@derrickc.2694]

@@souschefb5881 hes referring to the transition

[@wesleybuckwalter2558]

2:13 "I'm going to include a clip of my pre-transition voice for you..." Sudden manly voice interruption "LET'S PLAY RAID SHADOW LEGENDS"

[@snazwonk2066]

Lmao

[@oxin1099]

The ad that came up for me was a pregnancy test lmao

[@havetoreturnsomevideotapes]

Mine cut to Joe Biden O_O

[@joetrotsky6700]

Mine was that guy that talks about "the one food" for guys that boosts metabolism and increases testosterone.

[@laurac86]

Joe Trotsky - I see that ad alll the time!! Turmeric is “the one food”, I’d say it’s more of a spice but.. 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

[@MittenzandCash8929]

I am a Cis woman and have never engaged in stories about transitioning to this extent, but I love hearing your story and how complex gender can actually be, especially for those trying to figure it out. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I’m glad you have found the best path for you and wish you all the luck on your journey ☺️💕

[@zodiac3981]

One thing i don't see talked about with this stuff is the role that social media plays. Kids today don't seem to go to their parents or someone older and wiser than them for advice and guidance. They go to social media and ask people who might not even know them and are likely just as immature. As a result someone going through questioning their gender will get affirmation instead of sound advice and be told to ignore their parents because they grew up in a more bigoted world, this their opinion doesn't matter.

[@therealcomment5622]

Absolutely on point. The internet has caused more harm than good.

[@TheFinnDude]

I’m not saying young kids shouldn’t go to their parents for advice and guidance. But the unfortunate reality is that transphobia exists and parents are transphobic sometimes. And when kids then go to these parents like “hey, I’ve been questioning my gender I need help with figuring this out.” Those parents will make their life hell. For some kids, the internet is the only safe place they have. And for others (like me), telling people you’ve known your whole life, who have an idea of who you are as a person and what your life will look like, no matter how supportive they might be, that you’re questioning this integral part of yourself, that you’re struggling with identity, can be terrifying. The internet gives me a place to present male, to get information and find people like me. That’s why it’s so important.

[@therealcomment5622]

@@TheFinnDude Does it mean when a parent understand a kid's dysphoria issue and try to help the kid otherwise by not accepting it means transphobic or for the kid going to the parents means complete acceptance?

[@TheFinnDude]

@@therealcomment5622 What do you mean with “helping otherwise”? I’m having a hard time understanding your comment. If the kid really has gender dysphoria, it’s been proven that transitioning is the only treatment available. And no, of course little kids shouldn’t get hormones or surgery and it isn’t really done. The whole “10-years-olds get hormones and surgeries” thing is transphobic fear mongering. With kids (and teens, at least the first steps) transitioning means social transition, so hair, clothes, names, pronouns. Medical transition isn’t an immediate thing. Most people don’t come out and immediately have access to medical treatment. For example, in my country, as far as I’m aware, endocrinologists (and surgeons i think) need a letter from a therapist stating that treatment is necessary. This letter is only given after something called the “Alltagstest” where you have to openly present as your gender for at least two years while in therapy.

[@shellyann8818]

In your younger pics you were a beautiful young lady. When you transitioned you were quite a cutie pie dude. Now that you are detransitioning, and yes even with short hair you are still beautiful 😊 I'm so glad you didn't feel that your transition was final since you felt after a while everything still wasn't quite right. I'm proud of you for knowing it's ok to go back. Either way you are human, and beautiful and loved ❤

[@gregwarrener4848]

big mystakes were made weren't they?

[@moottzzy]

You don’t look less feminine with short hair. It takes a special kind of beautiful to be able to pull off short hair. God bless

[@DeeBee2013]

Totally eye opening can't believe how feminine you looked before, then how male you looked with testosterone and back to feminine

[@wrmlm37]

People are staring because you have an exquisite face. Worked both ways:) Love the lizard.

[@alvaroroque4805]

This part of your story is fascinating. You have a perspective that most people just don't. love your honesty.

[@DanaAshlie]

the fact that we hyper sexualize women from a very young age from the beginning seems to be a huge issue that is pushing people into all kinds of wrong paths. if we as a society weren't doing that, and we were just 'being' with members of the opposite sex, spending time to get to know them...withOUT SEX until marriage...just determining if they are a good PERSON, if you enjoy time with them...MINUS the sex issue...it's called COURTSHIP. That one simple switch in our society would delete a massive amount of societies ills.

[@princessbanana4625]

I agree with the first half.

[@sablechicken]

I totally agree. It is so sad that sex sells, and it has been used as a weapon against us. Girls and young women end up receiving a message that being a woman means they have to look sexy. This can be very uncomfortable at the wrong age, and or situation. Leading a girl to wonder why she feels so out of place. Transgenderism seems like a fix, because it makes being a man look like a way to be seen for more than just sex appeal. Sadly every FtM transgender that I have asked, "What does it mean to be a man?" can not answer that question with anything other than looks. Young people should be developing their character by building up relationships with family and friends. Now we are in a situation where this cult of transgenderism is taught in schools and the first act of bravery is to reject and separate one's self from family and friends that question why he or she thinks they are transgender. We are in a real bad spot now....I am not sure how this can be turned around.

[@sarah333.]

you had us in the first half

[@mojimoji3545]

Why do people think boys don't deal with hyper sexualization, as well?

[@princessbanana4625]

@@mojimoji3545 because a man can go into public wearing pretty much anything without virtually every single woman wanting to pounce on him like a piece of meat. Women are sexualized in many ways but simply existing in public is one of them. Myself and many other women experience harassment from men almost daily whereas the males ik amd even ask admit they never experience that, flirting and lust which men get vs harassment which women mostly get are completely different.

[@JoniWalker42]

I really like that you tell people who think they´re trans to really think about and don´t tell them to don´t transition at all.

[@paulkemp7035]

I admire your courage to go wherever it is you felt your journey had taken you.

[@JBPVFL]

So I'm a straight guy, and just wanted to say if guys are staring at you, they most likely are interested in you at least as far as looks go. If you are looking for a relationship with little to no sexual activity, it will be harder for sure, but there are a ton of people out there. Don't worry about not finding someone to be with even if you do have preferences that are not common. You are very pretty, hope you can not let those thoughts of doubt about yourself hold you back. This might not be for you, but getting into working out and picking up some form of karate/jiu jitsu are excellent ways of helping your confidence. Really hoping the best for you and sorry for replying to a pretty old video.

[@EmDoesArt]

Great encouragement and advice!

[@SieMiezekatze]

Is not about looking ,men make comments, very nasty stuff even when I dressed like a guy, why are some guys so degrading??

[@ricosuave7102]

@@SieMiezekatze it’s how they were raised and their personalities. I’ve the course of my lifetime there are several things people can’t change with medical help. Breast size,penis size and personality. Your born with those things.

[@tb1235]

@@SieMiezekatze A small percentage of guys are nasty. They're just so loud and obnoxious that it can feel like sooo many men are horrible and creepy. Most men are too afraid to speak up because of how they'll be perceived in this society.

[@katmiller614]

@@SieMiezekatze stop blaming men for everything a lot of them already feel like women blame them for every little thing that happens even when they try to do the right thing!

[@carriesmith9943]

This girl is so naturally beautiful! Makeup just enhances her beauty! SO SAD she didn't go to therapy to fix the real issue!

[@debbiewindsor6834]

I agree a real beauty, so sad that she went through this when she just needed help to accept who she is, society is obsessed with sexuality, we’re all different and feel differently, but messing up your natural body is so extreme and never properly reversible.

[@christophercolumbus8944]

she was HAWWWWWWT

[@jillnmo]

@@christophercolumbus8944 We’re a society obsessed with sexuality so much that this beautiful girl couldn’t just be happy with herself and her friends at 15-17 !

[@LiterallyAllNamesAreTaken]

⁠@@debbiewindsor6834 “obsessed with sexuality” what? humans are a social species, it’s what gives us an advantage. like it or not, sexuality plays a role in how we socialise. that being said, being trans isn’t a sexuality. it’s an identity. for context, if I went and said “my sexuality is woman” I’d have just said I was a lesbian.

[@LiterallyAllNamesAreTaken]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@jillnmo no buddy. the only ones obsessed is you. for one, trans isn’t a sexuality. second, it’s an identity and detransitioners do NOT represent ALL trans people. 99% of trans people are VERY happy being trans. they BECAME their true self because their non-trans self was NOT their true self.

[@gabbym333]

Hearing you say that you would want to be with someone, but do not have a desire for physical intimacy was validating for me to hear. I am still trying to figure out what my sexuality is exactly, but watching videos like yours is educational and helpful for me to see. So thank you.

[@su_zuki_2310]

I've never expercienced gender dysphoria but i can feel how deeply sad this is...but i'm proud of people like you that openly speak about it and letting everyone know that everything is not exactly how mass media is showing it. It just shows how much of a brave and big-hearted person you are.❤❤👏 Also reminder that you still look as beautiful as your pre-transition era❤

[@slushiepuppy3549]

I relate so much to this. I moved to a new city a year ago after changing my name and gender marker, so I could live as a man without people knowing who I was before. Only I realized last month that I'm not trans, and I want to de-transition. I really think I transitioned because I didn't want to deal with being treated like a woman, especially since I walked and rode the bus everywhere so I'd get comments on my body from strangers. I'm nervous about having to come out to people again, but seeing your videos has made me feel a lot better about everything. Its really scary to admit I made a mistake, but it helps to know that a lot of the effects are reversible.

[@ohhadivist]

It's really fantastic that you were able to identify the root cause of your transition and accept it, that can't be an easy thing to do. I hope things are going well for you 🙏

[@MrLazerCatt]

What made you want to detransition?

[@piaaadah]

How are you feeling?

[@optimismrules2512]

The effects are reversible if they are not medicalized via HORMONES. Dressing and changing hair is one thing...surgery or medication aren't simply reversible and this is prob the BIGGEST misnomer out there. It doesn't mean a person shouldn't detransition but certainly BETTER INFORMATION on this topic would hopefully reduce the number of people who think they just need to be a different gender.

[@lalarebelse5985]

Better to be ashamed then changing to somebody you arent

[@marivijard]

I'm so glad to know there's others who really hate being asexual.

[@ChampionMarauder]

I would bet most asexuals hate being asexual, at least at first.

[@Anmaeriel]

I don't hate being asexual, I hate all that comes with it, like having to explain and feeling not enough and having relationships make you feel incomplete or broken. :/

[@nachobetch]

I thought I was asexual for a long time. I was on birth control since I was 15 now 25. I recently switched birth control for the one without any hormones. Since then, I've been feeling sexual. Alot of things can throw off your sex drive. Depression, stress, birth control. self-dignosing isn't good. Seek profession help to understand your physical & mental health. 💕

[@miariz]

@@nachobetch @Denise Ruiz identifying yourself as assexual isn't a self-diagnose because it is not a disease or mental disorder. Being asexual is not only about not having sexual interest or a "sex drive" sometimes, it's a lot more than that. And people need to understand that it's fine, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with that, society is just sick to think that sex is everything, when it's barely nothing. Don't tell others what to do, let them be and live the way they are more comfortable with.

[@LightandDarkSavior]

I don't think people hate being asexual, they hate what comes with it. You want to date, find a partner you can vibe with but that also doesn't sexualized you, pressure you into sex, or pressure you into romantic feelings.

[@mommajen4118]

You said it so clearly: you transitioned to escape issues you didn’t want to deal with & it provided you the break (distance) from said issues. I’m proud of you for realizing your mistake and taking action to reverse it. It’s uncanny how many people have some type of abuse or trauma in their history that triggers warped thoughts and even full scale events like a transition as a coping mechanism. You are not defined by what happened to you, only by the choices you make going forward. Obviously, you’re a pretty amazing survivor!

[@aesaphyr]

I don't disagree with you but I'm a bit confused at you calling OP a survivor? A survivor of what? Being aro ace isn't a trauma to be survived.

[@erad3035]

@@aesaphyr I like this channel, but I had the same thought. Ryan has admitted numerous times that she is an extremest with poor impulse control. The only thing she "survived" was her own bad decisions.

[@hanna-ewr1330]

Weren't there psychologists saying: you don't have disphoria?

[@jessieallen1894]

Haven't finished the video yet but to me it looks like disphoria. The constant unhappiness with her/himself

[@zoron8952]

In a longer video they didn't see a therapist due to bad experiences prior.

[@yogapremagaia4984]

Yes!!! That's what I'm saying, getting hormons should be given after a very long and thorough analysis.

[@sandrasalazar475]

It is not

[@freak1021]

Do you have to Go to a psychologist i mean i Know that in Germany you have to Go If you want that the health insurance pays but as far AS i Know in most other countries you have to pay IT yourself

[@KidCity1985]

The problem is labels, you are you, that's all.

[@burdlo4687]

this is very true. for the longest time i felt like i had to fit into this,, box,, and i identified as trans n shit but then i finally got over that. i know non binary now and i feel so confident in myself now because im defined by everything but my gender. from noe on, i'll be deciding what i want to change about myself for me and only me.

[@draw4everyone]

YES!!! I hate this agenda of forcing people to choose to be x y or z. Let people just BE.

[@BlazerT48]

Gosh THIS. For me it was sexuality. I was never dreaming aboug having sexual relationship with anyone, but I just dont want to label myself as straight, ace, or even the umbrella term queer. I just dont want a label at all. Just let me be me. If I choose to date a boy or a girl or anyone then so be it. That wont label me, because I am me

[@KidCity1985]

@@BlazerT48 so they they can box you in and control you.

[@kelseyzimmerman6968]

Preach!

[@Lena.Jones13]

They're prob thinking how great you look with short hair, I'm sure many women go thru the 'i wanna cut all my hair off but don't know if I'll suit it' stage.... You're a naturally beautiful human period...i think you're incredibly brave and possibly stronger than you feel at times... Good for you for living how you feel though I'm sure it wasn't as easy on the inside as you make it look on the outside though. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[@hatinguh]

I wholeheartedly think you still look fabulous, this whole thing must’ve taken a tremendous amount of stress on you. Congrats on finding who you are!

[@jsonprfct]

This video took a lot of courage. It makes me sad that you had issues growing up and I can't imagine the battles you had with yourself. I am praying for you right now. God bless you.

[@heathbunny3313]

“I’m going to include a clip with my pre-transition voice” Ad I was not expecting that. Anyway, you’ve got your own journey so I hope no one ever makes you feel lesser for being who you are. It takes time to really know yourself. You’re an awesome person. :)

[@momowawa447]

8:32 girl...they stare at you because you look beautiful, they're not judging or mistaking you for a guy. Don't be silly.

[@hellacool729]

100%! Thinking "How can someone look so badass and so beautiful at the same time? I didn't know that was even possible.." lmao

[@paulinewatt6036]

Thank you for posting hopefully this helps lots of younger people to just listen, maybe wait till they are older xxxx

[@samiracarvalho6207]

Dear, I had a relationship with a trans guy and she detransitioned too. She is way more masculine looking than you. For a while I wished to vi through the transitioning because since child I hated to be woman, but my issue was about freedom and with the sexualization of our bodies. You are so beautiful and I can imagine how people look at you all the time and I think you rationalise it too much and had no family and psychological support for your issues. We live in a very sick society and we have access to a lot of information on internet since very early and our parents are so busy and don't pay attention to the details and signs. Darling, I am no one, you don't know me. But if I can give you some advise, try to work to silent your mind a little bit. Practice meditation, or something like that. Be patient. Learn how to calm down your mind and don't worry about other people. Congratulations for your courage to expose yourself her on KZbin and be sure that you are helping some confuse teenagers. Big hug to you!

[@cattycorner8]

BOOM

[@ericwanderweg8525]

I’m here just trying to understand and empathize. Growing up is hard. It’s even harder these days, on every level. I’m glad that I went through adolescence and early adulthood in a much simpler time. Best wishes for you and your entire generation.

[@maszkalman3676]

yeah our tiem was waay better for chilren even the dangers :D we used to play in abandoned sand mines/western trash heap we found there the firs time discarded toys like legos match boxes that wasn't here in the post socialist countries only waay later...

[@iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii4222]

Growing up these days is actually a lot easier. And because of that people create their own problems they fixate on. If you didn't have time to even think about this stuff, you certainly have more important problems to think about.

[@ThisOLmaan]

@@iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii4222 👍🏻

[@ThefamousMrcroissant]

It's the stupid overzealous "acceptance". Puberty is such a confusing time where children must find themselves, being praised and embraced to explicitly categorize those feelings takes away the ability for the child to figure it out themselves. It's going take a while for this to settle down again, as pointing out the idiocy of it all will just get you trumped with the "stop being TRANSPHOBIC" card. It's annoying and sad.

[@aquaseahorselove3939]

I'm here for the same reason. I'm trying to understand what's happening to the youth. I was a child in the 70's and a teenager in the 80's, this was not a thing at all back then. I'm very thankful to have known a world before cell phones, internet and social media. I understand what you mean that it was a simpler time. I did experience being bullied though, but I think bullies have existed for thousands of years, some people just suck.

[@LisaMichele]

I can relate to your story so much! When I was in my late teens/early 20s (college), I was a virgin and completely NOT interested in hooking up with guys at all. Just like you I wondered if I was gay or bi, but I just had no sexuality and I felt so different. I saw all my friends constantly hooking up with guys and I just didn't want that at all and I felt like something was "wrong" with me. I think it's shoved on us from a young age as females that we're supposed to want to be disney princesses looking for prince charming, or the lead role in a romantic comedy or something. So those of us who don't have those desires feel like there is something wrong with us and we have to change to fit some societal narrative. The thing is, you are fine just as you are! I didn't have anyone to tell me that when I was that age but I just hope more young women get that message. You don't have to change your body because you don't feel the way society tells us females should feel. The problem is not being female, the problem is the limiting stereotypes that are pushed on young women. I did go on to have relationships later (with guys) to varying levels of success, and in my case I turned out to be a late bloomer rather than completely asexual. It's pretty awful how sexualization is pushed on girls younger and younger. But if you don't feel like having sexual or romantic relationships young, you are perfectly normal!

[@setheast2773]

I really appreciate you making this video so people can learn about this sort of thing

[@carlottafernandez4647]

I love how throughout this entire video she never once bashes trans people, a lot of people who de-transition end up being very transphobic and I feel like those people are so toxic, I love how she perfectly explains that yes, some people who transition aren't really trans and do it for the wrong reasons but the majority really do have dysphoria and really are trans but people just have to make sure they're doing it for the right reasons

[@jamesclark6487]

With "transphobia", like "homophobia", the bar is on the floor with regard to when those are used to attack anyone outside the rainbow cult.