My Faith Shattered While My Daughter Was on a Mormon Mission | Ep. 1955

[@flyawayfarmstead]

This woman has got to be the most mentally stable person I have ever seen. To be as authentic & practical throughout her Mormon journey as she was, compounded by the grief she experienced from a young age, and then to remain that steady and focused overall - that is truly unique. This had to be one of the most striking episodes of the entire podcast simply because of Jen's to confidently be herself and stick to what she knows is right for her in the long run. I recognize she had episodes of giving into the pressure of the system, but overall - WOW! What a phenomenal story of authenticity and stability!

[@mercedescheyenne]

Margi is the guest I hope is on every episode. Amazing empathy, great questions, active listening. We love John but there are just some stories that need a woman to ask those deep understanding questions. Beautiful episode.

[@chubbuck35]

Margi asks the questions I didn’t know I needed the answer to.

[@juliannesmommy6694]

Yes

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Margi really is the most wonderful!!❤

[@jenniferanderson4201]

​@@chubbuck35100%!

[@shannonurrutia3117]

Totally agree!

[@BG-ig6fd]

I love this mom and daughter duo. The long form interviews allow us to really get to know people. All the guests on MS are so unique, charming and loveable. Thanks to Margi and John for doing this beautiful interview!

[@LoraleeArmstrongNunley]

Jen, if you are reading this, i just want you to know that you have inspired me to make some changes in my life. Your openness to sharing your journey and how you were open and honest with your loved ones and how you lived your life so authentically just moved me deeply. Thank you for sharing.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you so much for saying this. ❤❤❤ Wishing so much love for you and your journey.

[@kayhowell9633]

Same for me. My daughter was on her mission and I really started thinking about the whole thing. Flash forward to today- we are all out of the church,

[@greg6924]

I'm a simple man. I see a new Mormon Stories video and I smash the like button!

[@idance4catpower]

for some reason i couldn't sleep tonight. to be honest, i think it was because i slept too many hours yesterday. i listened and watched all five hours in bed with my kitties. i loved every moment and cried multiple times from the beauty and the big love. thank you all.

[@kiuakakirstine8257]

Me too.😊

[@Maryfs1]

I sensuously caress it like a long lost lover.

[@sparksintelligence]

same and I have never been a Mormon! I just adore the content, care and brilliant humanity in the face of faith crisis.

[@lesliecardwell2653]

Haha … me too !

[@LifeAfterBelief]

John and Margi, you are a true gift to us that have left. another fantastic episode. Thank you so much.

[@LifeAfterBelief]

The same goes for these brave women. Thank you for sharing your tender story.

[@mormonstories]

Our pleasure!

[@LoraleeArmstrongNunley]

Ditto

[@cottoncandy3630]

Absolutely adored Rian's and Jen's episodes. I left the church alone when I was 17, so it was beyond healing listening to both of them be so supportive of each other. Especially when they had been through so much. Thank you to Rian and Jen for sharing your stories 💚 Both of you have inspired me to live my life with a more positive outlook. Also, just wanted to add, I loved the quote, "when god is a man, then man is god."

[@hillaryherbopelis]

I’m glad she mentioned that being RS president wasn’t the best experience for her children. I felt hopelessly abandoned by my mom when she had higher callings, and I think it added to the trauma from being abused in my early childhood. I felt like her calling was more important to her than my mental health and having a sense of safety in my home.

[@greg-op2jh]

I am so sorry ;(

[@susanstephan7689]

Jen, as a fellow mom, I can see the emotional safety that you created for your family and that your mom created for you in spite of the high control religion of your past. It shines brightly throughout your story and is such a beautiful gift! I wish the best for you and yours, truly.

[@CWytko]

I am three hours in and this is one of my favorite interviews of yours that I have seen. What an incredible woman with an amazing daughter and family. I am so impressed by her ability to be herself.

[@brittanyalexissinger]

She is mom goals ❤

[@juliannesmommy6694]

I feel inspired to love my kids more fiercely. I feel the same way

[@blueboxmama2034]

Jen's story has resonated so much with me, particularly her thoughts on grieving her mother. I lost my mom before we left the church and I felt so ashamed of missing her because of the church's teachings about eternal families even though she was not a member. I still have trouble letting myself grieve but therapy and deconstructing has helped me make progress. Thank you for sharing. 💜

[@__-ce7tx]

Absolutely loved Rian's episode. So relatable, excited to listen to this one!

[@greg-op2jh]

I had to comment. This was one of the best episodes I have seen. I loved Ryan's story as well. Ryan and her mom and absolutely beautiful people and I hope that they see this comment. This was a rollercoaster..I was crying and laughing. I am so glad that her and her husband stayed together and it is amazing that he was able to stay away from the porn. I am also in a 12 step for drugs and alcohol and it can be absolutely amazing. Been sober for 4 years. As usual Margi you are amazing as well. Always asks such amazing questions and always makes everyone feel so welcome. It's amazing to see such strong, beautiful women. Her making her son feel worthy about being gay hit me so hard. I wished I would have had that and it makes me so happy that her son, and her friend's son did. Just absolutely amazing all around.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you for your comment. So much love for you on your healing journey❤

[@kiuakakirstine8257]

Mormon Stories Podcast has become my bedtime story. Thanks to every ex-mo that shares their stories about the “faith”. I’m a never-mo, but got sucked into the Mormon rabbit hole when the Vallow/Daybell case turned into international news. So much horrible abuse in the name of “God” - whoever he/she is.

[@hhwiseman]

Listening to Mormon Stories like Jen’s is as good as therapy for me some weeks.

[@NicoleMoore22]

Look into ruby frankes story too!

[@aceshigh5157]

i love margi. i really appreciate her insights and how she rephrases what the interviewee says.

[@martha-meg]

4:52:45 just WOW! Jen’s ability to apologize will forever cement the relationship with her kids as they move into adulthood. You have had NO conditions set on your kids as they grow into their own. Just wow! Way to go Jen and Ryan!

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you so much for saying this. I've found great healing in being able to say "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong".

[@kathleenjbazan5563]

This is such a beautiful story about a mother’s unconditional love. I so wish I was as smart and authentic as she was raising her family. I love my children more than anything in this world, but I wish I had her insight into life. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

[@Paradisefalls65]

Ive been watching MSP for years and Ill say this is one of Margis best episodes. 🔥 So intuitive! Her feedback and follow up questions are fire. And so is this mama! Parenting goals.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Margi is truly the very best!!🩷

[@lesliecardwell2653]

This was a beautiful Life story of this family ..full,of love and grief and integrity … I watched it all .thankyou to,the family and to Margie and John for bringing this story in such a. Beautifully told way ! ❤🇨🇦

[@wlkrmomma]

I usually like/love Mormon Stories episodes, but I EXTRA LOVE this family's story! SO real! 💗💗💗

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you so much for listening❤

[@MariannaMujica]

​@jenniferanderson4201 Jen, just heard you say I came to the realization that "I really hate Mormons". Busted out laughing with the rest of you.

[@leafylaurel]

This episode had me in tears many times. Jen and Rian remind me of my mom and myself, and the unshakeable love between mother and daughter. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you so much for listening🩷

[@tysierucker8260]

I’m only an hour in and I so much hope one day I can be open and candid with my mom about this stuff. I just love hearing her story like Jen’s and know there’s so much to it that her as a Mormon may never be able to share with me.

[@safari79]

I was the Primary President when the 2015 “revelation” came about. It was so incredibly hurtful to my heart. It was the absolute start of my unraveling.

[@ErickLöfdahl]

This is the most beautiful episode that has been published on this channel so far. An amazing interview. ❤💚💙

[@martha-meg]

I remember telling my mom (I was barely 21 years old) while I was going through my endowment for the first time that I felt really weird. She told me, “it’s okay. The more you come, the more you’ll understand.” To say the least, my Initial feeling of the temple was dismissed by my mom and I truly felt awkward and grossly weird inside of the temple. It did not feel good to me at all and I did NOT appreciate being touched on my naked hips by the women in the church. Even though it was under a robe, I still had NO idea that that part of the temple process was coming. It did NOT resonate to my soul, at all. I hated the temple, to my absolute core and I was told “oh it’s okay, just keep coming back.” No! How about you hear me first! No! I do not like the temple. No! I do not want to go back. No! I am much happier saying no. Gaining autonomy is exactly what was needed for my life. And I am so grateful that I have finally finally gained autonomy.

[@katajha831]

Just thanks for doing these. Im a never mormon, never religious and it all just fascinates me so much. How these are presented is just amazing.

[@ginamarquardt-sz8xm]

I am also never Mormon but I grew up UCC, so progressive Christian so it’s just night and day from what I was taught, but I get so much out of these stories. It’s so interesting. I didn’t really realized until I stopped to count how many Mormons I know. And also with the information I have now I look back on some interactions that make more sense.

[@fionosaurus]

her daughter's Mormon stories is one of my favourite episodes I can't wait

[@christinerenee5616]

I remember that one! I'm really curious to hear her mom's side of the story.

[@jenlebel617]

My experience in the temple with my daughter is almost EXACTLY like Jen’s experience with Rian. That was the beginning of the end for me. I was willing to push down my own pain for almost 20 years and it was almost unbearable to be a part of a system that placed that weight onto my daughter’s shoulders as well. It took me two years after that to fully walk away, because of fear. So happy to no longer have to live in fear of imagined boogeymen. Thank you Jen & Rian for your story!♥️

[@Cocoon68]

How did you hold on that many years knowing it was not the truth?

[@pamelatd]

This episode is so powerful!

[@rubynz7285]

Absolutely loved listening to Jen! What a beautiful woman.

[@ccincc5633]

Gosh, this episode was so loving! I absolutely had to stop tears coming at the “it was ok for me, but not my kids” parts. I’ve heard others share that sentiment, but something about how it led up to that in this story had me almost balling. Such a beautiful and important sentiment that I often think about as a mom now. I aspire to be a mom like this with such strong, caring connections with her kids!

[@melanielindholm9839]

I love Jen’s insights and reflections. So authentic and honest. Thank you. ❤

[@michelle5784]

I loved hearing both sides of their stories and having a full episode about both of them! This was a wonderful episode. I can not believe that a mission president would try to cut a child off from parents who are this loving and good. The church can be so toxic in situations like this.

[@missgalaxy1456]

Jen, you are amazing! I cannot imagine what you went through as a mother who raised her kids in the church. My mom is just coming to terms with the actual reasons as to why she no longer goes to church (I have not gone since I was 19) and I want her to listen to your story! You are so brave and such a good person! Thank you for sharing your story.

[@None_of_your.business]

Their love and support is just so heartwarming

[@lauraescobedo3426]

What a beautiful episode! What a beautiful people all of you. Thank you for so beautiful Human Stories…from a never Mormon

[@chubbuck35]

The ending to this podcast was so beautiful and full of love. What an important story for everyone to hear, thank you for sharing.

[@sarahkeppler8043]

I am saving this one for the End of this week! I have eye surgery on the 24th (one of many) to prepare me for Proton Therapie (i have a melanoma in my eye). You will keep me company while i am away from my family.❤

[@dsl.1034]

I’m so grateful how open Jen was. Her steps to move forward in her marriage, along side her husband after his affair with a work colleague….That is so hard. I respect her vulnerability.

[@Tripsy4Peace]

Love is all you need!

[@hillary898]

This was such a beautiful episode. Thank you to Jen and Rian for sharing your story ❤

[@Ceecee819]

A sweet mother and daughter! Thx for sharing ur stories!

[@ValeriePeterson-w5f]

Another great Mormon Stories thank you John and Magi and all your guests for your hard work 😅❤

[@amandataichi]

I loved this whole episode. The mission part was so familiar and so hard to hear. I never thought about how hard my mission may have been on my parents. I'm so relieved that my kids will never serve missions. I'm glad I can protect them from that.

[@meggyG86]

One of the best stories yet. Loved both of their views. Great interviews!!

[@valerienelson3296]

I really loved this one. Although I am a never morman I have been watching for a few years and have learned so much. I thought Morman was just another religion. I have never been religious myself or raised in it, just to much that didn't make any sense to me. Without my understanding from watching I would never understand why it would be hard to leave a church, if it's your decision why would it be hard? But now I have as much understanding as a non Morman can. It made me look at the recent Ruby Frankie's, Lori Vallows, secret wives of Morman lives through a different lense. Big fan of Heather Gay and wonder has her cast ever read her book or watched Morman stories, as they seem to have no understanding for what she went through. I see that you can still love the church, just not parts of it. I could see & feel the pain this family & so many others go through. So much valuable info hete for those on this same journey. Thank you M.S. thank you guest❤ for sharing this very personal journey, I feel like the storm was brewing, storm came & the rainbow came out at the end.❤

[@SunsetChaser308]

This was one of the best episodes!

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you❤

[@lorifawcett275]

I feel like I’m so much like Jen I’m so glad she is so open and good at expressing herself and her experience. Thank you. I feel validated.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you💛

[@evermore331]

This episode was so incredibly touching. 5 hours flew by! One of my favourites so far

[@lisagrace6471]

I lost someone very close to me to cancer and yes, the self shame for the extreme grief due to the belief of the lds afterlife and doctrine, that others also carried around me - I felt SOO guilty for feeling in so much devastating pain over the loss of a dear loved one. It was awful. I almost started crying hearing her describe all of it.

[@mercedescheyenne]

Mag is the guest host I hope is on every episode. Amazing empathy, great questions, active listening. We love John but there are just some stories that need a woman to ask those deep understanding questions. Beautiful episode.

[@lovebaileymarin]

I LOVED Margie talking about Internal Family Systems!! If I was ever on Mormon Stories, I would talk a lot about that because it played a huge role in my journey. Sooo happy you’re talking about it!

[@waterfall_brook]

Mount Shasta Represent!!!!!!!!!!! What an incredible story. Thank you for being willing to share it with us.

[@thegigisup6]

Thank you for being willing to share your journey in such an authentic manner and thus knitting hearts together that share these experiences.

[@madchenheiden4120]

totally resonated with jen!! i also lost my mom in HS and so much of that rhetoric is so damaging to going through the grief process. also the pressure to stay on the path so you can be with her in heaven again is so strong after loosing a mom and everyone just keeps telling you you’ll see her again - only if you’re worthy of course tho! loved loved loved this episode ❤

[@jenniferanderson4201]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for listening and for your comment🩷

[@TourTitaly77]

I remember having such similar feelings about the temple being so excited to finally get there, I’d patiently waited 15 yrs of my marriage for this because my husband was not active and then there were so many things I found so strange and off-putting and had the exact thoughts of feeling like I was in a cult with the whole prayer circle etc. Of course I put it out of my mind thinking that everyone I loved had been through this and seemed so happy about. It was the thing to do to have a celestial marriage and forever family etc. I came from a ton of Mormon Pioneer Heritage where so much of my family and ancestors had all been through this.

[@beckyburnett8641]

Margi is amazing! She is the BEST!

[@jenniferanderson4201]

100% agree!!!!

[@jonipitcher7185]

This was such a good story. I love the whole story and the theme being love. So amazing!

[@AaronWallace-ue6lh]

Another Great Journey John , one person at a time you will help. Reshape the world and their Beliefs. Life after goes on and it’s Beautiful…. Take time to find yourselves. Love you all !!!!

[@sherryg1838]

Great interview, I enjoyed hearing Jen’s story, and I enjoyed Rian’s also. I’m a never mo, but was raised fundamentalist Christian. So I can relate to some of it.

[@timmiestabrnak]

I was also raised fundamentalist Christian and having left while my family remain makes me relate to stories like these.

[@lisagrace6471]

"We are aren't going into it looking for it. We've given our lives to something to make it true and we've twisted and contorted ourselves to make it true and contorted our entire lives around this to make it true; We aren't looking for it not to be true because that devastates your entire life and that's not what we're going for. But when the closet door creaks open and things start falling out, you cannot shut the door....It's so full of garbage that just a creak in the open of the door, things start falling out. It's virtually impossible to start putting things back in the closet. that is just what it felt like- I opened a closet that was so full of lies and deceit and harm and I can't close it because I can't shove it all back in there now and even if I could I don't want to because now I see actual truth." around min 3:30:00 -Jen

[@marlenemeyer9841]

Excellent conversation! Thank you for sharing your story.

[@jordy1007x]

What an amazing mother Jen is. Not to only let her children decide what is best for themselves and allowing them to have their own identity at a young age, but to apologize to them and take ownership for her decisions. I just got an apology from my own mother for what I experienced as a child from her after 20+ years of her denying everything. I was shocked to say the least, but taking ownership means so much.

[@heatherhammersmith8997]

A true testiment to the power of unconditional love!

[@Avenger24601]

The description Jen gave of Rian’s first temple experience was so close to mine. “What the heck was that?”

[@susanwilliams70]

So frustatingly sad for Rian & her family...I totally understand the loneliness one can experience! Love & hugs as a former RM also!

[@carolynlarson170]

I lost my mother in my 20’s and didn’t have the capacity to deal with my grief till I was much older. I highly recommend Anderson Coopers grief podcast.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

I'll definitely look into that, thank you for the recommendation ❤

[@SandySuffel]

I loved this video. Such a beautiful family. I’m happy they stayed together.

[@mercedescheyenne]

Oh my gosh this is going to sound crazy! I didn’t know Margi and John were married! John you hit the lottery my guy!

[@suthatheplee2777]

Another 5 star story that illustrates sooooo many systemic and dogmatic problems with this high demand religion known as Mormonism. These heart wrenching stories will never end until Mormonism comes clean and admits it’s all made up and there’s no Devine or magic or supernatural powers involved in it. Thankfully, every day more people wake up to this delusion and are walking away from the harm it causes. Outstanding work John and Margi. And congrats to this family. 🎉

[@cassafrass7928]

I had to watch because I loved Rian's MS interview! I enjoy the parent/s/ child/ren interviews alot!

[@elainechester4756]

Enjoyed your beautiful episode. Love and healing to your family.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you🩷

[@darylowen6855]

Thank you for sharing your story. It helps me understand the damage that the church has done in our own family. Somehow God will heal us as we each leave the cult and find Jesus on our own terms without the demands of the LDS organization. I am learning that its a relationship with Jesus and not a religion that matters.

[@lisagrace6471]

Yes, this: "It helps me understand the damage that the church has done in our own family."

[@petertherock7340]

This is the exact same problem that Evangelical Protestants have. The grief that is natural for the death of a loved one is rationalized by thinking, “Oh, I will see them again one day.” In the Catholic faith we are supposed to grieve the loss of those who pass on before us. Death is real and painful. At the same time we must pray for their souls as they make their journey to Heaven or Purgatory. They are not to be forgotten or brushed aside. The deaths of our parents are with us for the remainder of our lives. And we surely wait to join them. 😊😊😊

[@markcroshaw]

I love hearing these stories. I relate on so many levels.

[@tamicox990]

I have to say- my first husband and I ran a flooring business for many years and it was always members of the church that screwed us over

[@yams317]

i realize why interviews with margi are so great. she knows how to and feels able to interject. hopefully with other regulars on mormon stories, john can develop a rapport with co-hosts so the interviews feel natural

[@lq6424]

THAT episode about the BH Roberts is the one that made me wake up. ❤

[@sarahcoomer4924]

this mom is beyond awesome and inspiring in how deeply and purely she loves. very christ like 🥹

[@kelisa3772]

I knew Rian’s mom was going to be amazing. Love these two. Also, there needs to be more talk about male privilege (and white privilege) in this culture.

[@jenniferanderson4201]

Thank you so much! And I completely agree, privilege is a vital part of the discussion.

[@donnellallan]

This was so good for my heart. Thanks to everyone involved! 💜

[@law-abiding8436]

That just shows you that it’s absolute loyalty to this organization over family. Utter corruption! Wow!

[@valerismith9929]

What an incredible interview.

[@jillhorn7624]

Amazing! When do we get to hear Andy’s story?

[@organicemily1745]

This was a beautiful interview. I can so relate to much of what Jen shared. Blessings to you all!

[@LoraleeArmstrongNunley]

Incredible!!

[@elliek5350]

Amazing guests ❤

[@DanielFreed-f2b]

I loved this story!!!

[@Yunglou3000]

U think she came home bc her mom kept tellung her they loved her and it was a safe place. When you accept kids as they are, they will always come home.

[@Catryx39]

My first temple experience was similar to Rian’s. Everything up to the prayer circle was… ok. It was all weird but I could explain it away by just not understanding it yet. The prayer circle, however, was when it hit me with how ridiculous it all felt. I remember thinking “what the hell…?! This is so weird and stupid. Why does this feel like a cult?” My poor ex husband.. I wonder what he thought? He was a convert of 1 year at the time lmao. I went through one more time for a sister’s wedding and still felt the same as the first time. Never went again and stopped going to church all together in 2012. Oddly enough, I was POMI. Still believed everything but didn’t care to live the Mormon lifestyle. I had settled on the “fact” that I was going to terrestrial kingdom and I was ok with second best. Any time I was doing all the things to be a good LDS active member was when I was the most miserable. Mormonism just wasn’t for me no matter how much I tried.

[@Aviel-o3p]

Incredible episode! Loved it.

[@TheShodan92]

Listened to the entire episode. Including Ryan's mission story. This is a story of courageous spiritual integrity. Ryan and her Mum are top individuals. Ryan is a very spiritual young woman. Her instincts were on point in the temple. She has far greater discernment than all the church leaders combined. Her mission president I thought was a distasteful individual. Very uncaring towards Ryan when she needed medical attention as well as the family whom Ryan appealed numerous times to the mission president to do something for children who were being abused. I felt a great dislike for his inaction. This podcast is a powerful story. It shows the beautiful spirits which these women have, the high quality of their integrity, and the terrible failings that continue in Mormonism. Thankyou for this episode.

[@hf009]

Love it!!

[@Spoonyforky]

I love Rian’s story. I posted a comment on her video. If she sees this, please look for my comment over there. So appreciate Rian’s story.

[@Memememememememe123]

Love John! I really resonate with women discussions with Margie and her perspective. More Margie please!

[@TriciaSlyter]

Jen, you are a bad ass human and mom!

[@SarahSaylors]

I too, had a mother who loved me and encouraged me. When my ex husband told me I was nothing, a waste, a piece of sh!t, one day I woke up and said, no I am not. Thank you momma.

[@floodlitorg]

We’re so sorry to hear about the abusive bishop. If it’s possible, we’d like to list him by name in our database. Please send us any info about him that you can. Thank you for speaking out.