My first month taking meds for depression

For most of my adult life I've lived with depression, anxiety and OCD. I've been in therapy, which helped, but still felt it getting worse, especially recently. So I figured it was time to talk to my doctor about antidepressants. Here's an account of my first month using them. The pros, the cons, and my feelings on if I'll keep taking them.
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[@randomnumbers84269]

Nice to hear an experience from someone who is so verbally capable. Really good.

[@HiThereLindsey]

I am 3 weeks into this journey. So far so good ❤

[@MatRicardo]

Good luck with it! I'm a couple of years using them now, and they still help massively.

[@harperhelen]

"I seem to be able to pull the hook out and throw it away" YESS MAT! Did a little whoop for you when I heard this. Pleased for you lovely. X

[@MatRicardo]

haha thanks mate, hope you're doing ok x

[@hamill06]

Loved this video. I have tried 3 types of SSRI in the past but experienced the “numb” feeling you are speaking of. I decided I would take nothing so I would feel like me, even if that means feeling my depression. Im glad they have helped you! Its great to see anyone get help!

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks so much. Seems like it's all such a personal thing in terms of their effect. Sorry they didnt work for you - hope you're doing ok

[@darsongsify]

I like being numb. I don't want to feel.

[@Briy903i]

Appreciate you documenting this!!! You don’t know how you’re helping soooo many people straddling the fence.

[@MatRicardo]

thanks so much :)

[@CressidaFord]

This is a “wow” video. You know, you really are a very Extraordinary Gentleman.

[@MatRicardo]

dawwww thank you :)

[@gabriellabuissereth6795]

This is such a great mini documentary hopefully everything is still going well ! I can agree I felt like I knew everything and was great at my job. I could do every task in my sleep, but what I realized on the meds is that I’m more efficient bc I have a clearer mind and can be more strategic!

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks so much! And yeah, everything is still going ok :)

[@whitewitch1105]

I would never have known. Watching your performance in Ottawa i couldn't tell. What we are describing is the feeling i have found surfacing in myself. anxiety just seems to build. I'm glad to know that there is something that will help. I'll be speaking with my doctor. Thank you 😊

[@MatRicardo]

Good for you. Therapy helps too, so I'd also recommend looking into that :)

[@whitewitch1105]

@@MatRicardo thank you

[@MatRicardo]

Good luck with it :)

[@lmmorgado]

What a lovely, amazing, inspiring and brave video, Mat. All the best ❤

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks so much!

[@reptiii]

When you were saying you were scared they’d make you feel numb in my head I said it’s better than this right now and then when you said the same thing a second later it was assuring that I’m probably making the right choice

[@MatRicardo]

good luck with it! It's now a year and a half later and I'm still taking them, and they're still absolutely helping..

[@tomoskar]

Good on you Mat. Not just for your revelations, sharing and support for others who may find themselves circulating around in similar patterns, but also for the style & elegance of your words and images. Fine indeed. All the best with that broken leg of yours.

[@MatRicardo]

Aww thanks very much

[@vinofarm]

Brilliant video, Mat. Beautifully filmed and presented. Thank you for sharing your experience so honestly.

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks so much :)

[@oliviahussey535]

Thankyou for your honesty. It's so important that people can be open about living with mental health. Beautifully shot and edited.

[@MatRicardo]

Thank you!

[@graemefowler1970]

I was sent a link to this by my friend Emily (who I believe you know), as I'm almost 4 weeks into the same journey. I've just had to have the dosage increased as things haven't improved quite as much as I and the medics hoped, but they've definitely improved a little. My experience seems to tally with yours; except the gigs, I doubt I could do your act very well at all! Biggest side effect for me, tiredness aside, has been clenching my jaw but that's relenting too now. Step by step, day by day, I'm climbing out of the pit and into the sunlight. Thanks for the video - it helps to see someone articulate this journey as clearly as you have.

[@MatRicardo]

Oh thanks so much - glad it was helpful. And yeah - tiredness was the thing that took the longest to stabilize with me, too - but it has. And I only just noticed that I, too, clench my jaw - I've done this for a while, but yeah, maybe I'm doing it more recently..? Hope your climb out of the pit continues!

[@rowandalzell7641]

This is so well said Mat, and I am so, *so* glad it's going so well for you!!

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks - me too!

[@jackta101]

Thanks for sharing this story Mat, it's rare to hear these things talked about so openly. I am also currently on SSRIs after anxiety really got to me during 2020 and can empathise with your story completely. I also found the tiredness hung around but after speaking with my doctor I found if I started taking my pills mid-afternoon rather than in the morning I didn't feel so tired during the day - although, if took them too close to bedtime the insomnia came back, so there was a bit of fine-tuning to get that right. I'm glad they are helping and in conjunction with your therapy hopefully, you're able to use the respite the medication has given you to tackle the causes and move forward. (A hope I also have for myself!) Stay safe and have a good Christmas

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks so much. And yes, i haven't experimented with changing when I take them yet, but that certainly seems like something to carefully play around with

[@chrissiddall8525]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I've been through similar situations since 2010 and SSRI's have been part of the process along the way.

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks - hope it's going ok

[@donaldasayers]

A very brave video. It will be six months minimum before you know how the new normal is. The meds worked for me for many years, but the side effects in the long run were just as much a thing to be depressed about, so I stopped. Not cold turkey, I am not that stupid, but slowly and carefully. And now I am divorced, remarried to someone with a hint of empathy and retired from a stressful job, I can cope without the meds. Be well and take care.

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks so much. It's been about 4-5 months on them now, and while they're no miracle cure, they seem to be continuing to make things much more manageable and less terrifying, so... so far so good :)

[@ChrisWilderMagic]

Great job being open about sharing this Mat. It’s good to hear this kind of discussion and I’m positive that this will be helpful to others feeing the same way. Nice one!

[@MatRicardo]

That's certainly my hope. Thanks :)

[@user-vm2kk3yh2c]

Great, i am happy for you!!

[@TheGatewayProductions]

Many thanks for this upload! Depression is horrible but we can crush it!

[@MatRicardo]

thanks!

[@troymartin4700]

This is a wonderful self documentary. I am about six weeks on sertraline myself and have noticed quite a bit of what you had described as your personal experience. Not a wonder drug or a miracle but definitely quiets the mind and lightens the load. Today is my exact six weeks and I know they say that it takes up to 6 to 8 weeks for the full affect. So with that being said I am open and excited for more good changes to come to enjoy life and all the challenges that come with it….

[@MatRicardo]

Awww thats fantastic to hear - well done!

[@AmerBoyo]

Very well put together video - great photography too:)

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks very much! Slowly learning which way around to point the camera ;)

[@AmerBoyo]

@@MatRicardo haha I think you’re a long way past that level!

[@IldySchiavoncini]

Well done for sharing and documenting the process!

[@MatRicardo]

aww thanks ildy

[@BrettSirrell]

Thank you for sharing. What a lovely video. 😍

[@MatRicardo]

Very kind of you, thanks

[@maxosborne10]

I appreciate this video u have made extremely helpful I want to start taking them as I have tried so hard to not have to take them but at this point it’s my last chance to get better so thanks for the advice

[@MatRicardo]

Hey thanks - good luck with it

[@rexboydtango]

Nice job Matt :-)

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks rex!

[@c3ptu5fyrproductions46]

I have been prescribed 2 mood stabilizers, and an anxiety med, I don't really like meds but wish me luck

[@MatRicardo]

good luck!

[@justmadeit2]

How depressed we’re you before taking the meds?

[@MatRicardo]

This is a bit of an odd and invasive question, and I'm not sure why you want to know? lol

[@Mike-ic5ph]

I had always fell unhappy with life even when i tried or i am being happy what meds i need to take?

[@MatRicardo]

well, the first step is talking to your doctor. they should be able to recommend various courses of action to help. sorry that its hard.

[@yco67]

wow with OCD probably maybe not that strong you can go even on stage and perform.. i cant not even properly on a desk Mat..

[@MatRicardo]

Performing on stage has always been the thing that I can do - I'm in control of it - it's everything off stage that presents more issues! Hope you're doing ok

[@yco67]

@@MatRicardo i see what you mean.. for me it doesnt look that easy but as you ve said its your thing.. i really do envy people who doesnt have OCD.. im getting better thanks for asking i hope you re also Mat..

[@jorgefont8057]

Are you still on meds?. How did you evolve?

[@MatRicardo]

I am! They're still working, no noticeable side effects. I feel more balanced than I have done in a very long time.

[@christineesposito8062]

What are you talking

[@MatRicardo]

If you mean what am I taking - Sertraline, also known in the US as zoloft :)

[@tpl6963]

are you paid by NHS/UK government?

[@MatRicardo]

you cannot be serious