My fountain pen cleaning routine, a 1960s Parker45, and a chat about procrastination + perfectionism

[@Terrible_Hime]

I struggle with some perfectionism and procrastination tendencies, also comparing myself to other people sometimes. the thing that usually works for me to get through those tendencies is thinking to myself: if my good friend was in the same situation, what would I tell them? I'm almost always harder on myself than I would be on literally anyone else in my life and that's not really healthy for me. So I try to treat myself (and look at myself in the case of comparing myself physically and in the context of fitness/strength training) like I would treat my friends, with compassion and empathy and understanding and sometimes a little tough love when things absolutely have to get done.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

That’s such a great point, and it sounds like you’ve got a good strategy for managing those thoughts and tendencies when they come up. It’s so much easier to be kinder to others than it is for ourselves. The tough love part is necessary sometimes (where my discipline comes in). And the cycle of staying up late doesn’t work as I get older, so I’m more motivated to be productive during working hours.

[@ngado7557]

I can relate 100% to everything you share: from perfectionism, anxiety, to procrastination, and the loop of all these traits ❤ A quote that resonates with me so much and has helped me overcome excessive anxiety and procrastination: "Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but never gets you anywhere". Thank you for the great content! Very helpful and comforting ❤❤❤

[@LittleCocoStudio]

I love that quote! Thank you so much for sharing. I think I’m going to write it down to remember it. Thank you for the kind words as well. I’m happy to hear that you find to helpful and comforting 💗

[@VitaA007]

You walking us through your thought processes in general are really helpful, but this video in particular rung some bells for me about ny own practices. Thank you, as always, for sharing! (And thank you for the postcard, I got mine in Feb and forgot to ssy it before! 💜)

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you so much for the feedback and kind words. This topic has been on my mind for a while, and I feel like I’m only scratching the surface of self-awareness and insight around the topic (though, perhaps I should keep my perfectionism in check as I continue exploring this area 😝). I’m glad you got the postcard as well! 💌 I appreciate you! 💗

[@b1rdeee]

Something else to consider with these sorts of situations with adhd is executive dysfunction! Obviously everyone's experiences are different, but as someone whose most severe adhd-related issue is usually executive function, for me it tends to feel like an almost physical resistance to starting something or switching tasks. I got diagnosed in my junior year of highschool after I realized that even with the 5 minute spaces for class change, I was still spending the first 5 minutes or so of every class just sitting and acclimating to the new situation. But just in general it's that feeling of seeing a task and knowing you should do it and that you want to do it, but for whatever reason you just can't. Most of what I see recommended is similar to your process of breaking things down into smaller tasks, but honestly for me it took being medicated to be able to actually make use of those strategies. Anyways, just something to look into! Really loving the videos lately, I subscribed a few weeks ago and I've been super hooked since then:)

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me. What you’re described is so relatable and I appreciate the added perspective of how medication can help with the taking action part. You’re so right about the executive dysfunction being an important consideration. My accommodation without realizing it was giving myself lots and lots of time to do things, but that isn’t always realistic as our responsibilities grow and change. It’s one of the traits I struggle with the most. You’ve given me lots to think about. Thank you for that!! 💗

[@lianelikes]

Alison, this is beautiful and a helpful video for those of us with ADHD. ❤

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you so much, Liane! I appreciate your kind words so much! 💓

[@christinemcgregor9970]

I can strongly relate to your procrastination response when dealing with projects or tasks that need to get done. I think I get hung up on all the thinking and planning about executing or starting the process. If I just had started and not over thought things, I think I would have time to calmly get things done. And you're right, I know if I don't do x the consequences could be really terrible. I've also tried to be more protective of my personal time and not working after hours and over the weekend to spend more time with my kids after experiencing so much burnout previously. Putting in these boundaries is good and necessary but then at the same time I wake up at 3am with my mind racing through all the things I still have to get done in time for a deadline. I do brain dump lists and to do lists but I see my dreaded things moving from week to week until it's like emergency status. I have one item that's like that now and I desperately need to get it done. My other issue is I see so many people not caring about their work. They do lots of copy/paste and throwing things together just enough to pass muster while I'm proofreading and triple checking my work that I'm turning things in at the last hour that I feel like such a fool. I think I'm going to take your advice and start with the smaller steps and cut myself some slack. This was a great video...may there be hope for us yet.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

It sounds like you’re managing a lot in your personal and work life! I can imagine you would naturally have extremely large to-do lists, and that itself would feel overwhelming to see. Sometimes, we burn out because the workload is unrealistically high! Setting boundaries and cutting yourself some slack sound like a good start, as does spending more time with your kids. 💗 Thanks for taking the time comment as well. I appreciate you! 🥰

[@SoImAlexa]

Alison, this totally resonated. Thank you for making this! The reminder to break tasks into minute pieces was super helpful, as I can often feel overwhelmed in the face of a big to-do. I find when my brain experiences something as a demand, my perfectionism/procrastination can really kick in.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you for taking the time to comment! I'm glad that you found the idea of breaking things into minute tasks helpful - I've gotten lightly teased by coworkers that I'm really getting into the weeds with my tasks, but now I feel more convicted that it's what I need, so I feel less shame for needing to do it if it helps me get things done! I love the way you framed your perfectionism/procrastination kicking in when your brain experiences a demand. 🤯 That's such a good way to put it, and I relate to that a lot.

[@scrappertexasrose]

That cloth you had your pens laying on is just beautiful with all the ink colors splotches! You could scan it and print it on vellum or regular paper and have a gorgeous piece of paper!

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you so much!!! These are retired cloth coffee filters, and I’ve loved giving them a second life as my ink splotch catchers. As for scanning it and printing them on vellum - that is genius idea! 😍 I’ve never printed on vellum paper before, but I’ve been wanting to try it because I love seeing them in planners.

[@MariaRosseau]

So glad you finally tackled that pen AND that you're participating in 30 inks in any form. :) I've talked to my psychiatrist a few times about perfectionism and procrastination. 😅

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you! It's comical how easy it was to clean the pen. 🥴 The only thing that I had to do above and beyond how I typically clean pens was disassembling it after I tried inking it and realized a bunch of the old ink was stuck in the nib. My therapist is well acquainted with my perfectionism and procrastination tendencies. 🫣

[@tilliet00]

thank you so much for this video. i heard every word you said and sometimes went back to make sure i understood those words. your message was something i needed to hear and very helpful. watching you fiddle with your pens and draw/paint were an added bonus. thank you for sharing your knowledge! 😊

[@LittleCocoStudio]

I appreciate your comments so much. Thank you for always being so kind! 🥹 I'm glad that you found this message helpful - it was a useful exercise for me to organize my (often very messy) thoughts for this video. Filming myself cleaning my pens was an added accountability bonus for me. I was determined to try writing with my mom's pen! 💓

[@andyc3943]

Lovely parker 45, i have one on my desk and use it regularly, i have very big hands but for some reason the 45 feels very comfortable for me. I very good pen. A very popular pen here in the uk 1960s to 1980s. I have always found parker to manufacture robust and reliable pens which give a good service life. I use quink ink which is basic fountain pen ink widely available here.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

I had a similar feeling - I expected it to be too thin to be comfortable in my hand, but I’ve been enjoying writing with it. Everything about the pen seems to be in great condition. I haven’t tried quink ink - is it a wetter ink? I’ve been using J Herbin which is lovely, but on the drier side. I’d like to try something a bit more lubricated when it’s time to refill the pen. Thanks again for watching! ☺️

[@birbtunes]

Oh I love it! It looks like an old saddle, and I love the different shades on it but I would do the entire thing. Make it look old and like it’s had an exciting life. Pale leather reminds me of my butt that hasn’t seen the sun. 😜

[@LittleCocoStudio]

😂😂😂 that’s a good point. I have natural leather on my every day purse and that has tanned nicely in less time than this cover. Now that it’s getting warmer outside, I’ll probably take it tanning to give it some natural colour. I like your positive reframing of it looking like an on saddle. It reminds me of the crazy horse brown leather from Galen Leather!

[@tashamoulton]

So relatable! You are not alone.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to comment! I appreciate you and the reminder that this is a shared experience! 💗

[@FountainPenNews]

Thank you so much for sharing! Slightly off - topic, Have I ever shared with you that after my accident, I have tried to stop using the phrase or even thinking "worst case scenario"? I am actively practicing only using the phrase 'best case scenario" in the place of worst case scenario. I can go around in circles imagining lots of worst-case scenarios! So in my mind or even on paper, I outline in very distinct detail what the best case scenario could look like. For example, I get an excellent parking space at Costco when I arrive. I'm finding that as I practice imagining and role-playing best case scenario it more often than not plays out in that direction rather than worst case scenario. It has really helped me to look carefully for all of the ways things actually are always working out in my favor.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

I love that reframe to 'best case scenario'! That is brilliant and a great way to foster a positive mindset. Thanks so much for sharing! 💗

[@fountainPENdulum]

Thank you for making this video. I definitely relate. It's so great to talk about this topic and connect it with the Fountain Pen hobby. I've gotten ink stains on my Galen Leather Undyed pen case. It's frustrating... I want it kept in new, prefect condition. I tried alcohol and don't recommend it, it didn't work and leaves the layer dried out and a bit discolored. Tried soap, sane but less severe. So I just had to leave it alone. Though I like the feel and look of undyed Leather I've decided to condition the leather to help prevent future stains.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you so much for the feedback (and sharing my video on your channel!). 💗 I can't believe I didn't research things more when I cleaned it with alcohol -- the spot feels awful to touch now, and I was contemplating adding some conditioner (I have renapur for my TN covers), but I'm going to wait longer before I add anything else to it. I'm also going to leave it alone for now and see how annoyed I get over time with the stain staring at me every time I open my book. 😆

[@marilyngardner4269]

I really appreciate your videos. I struggle with the same issues, but I'd say you have more of a handle on it than I do. Regarding the leather cover, you might consider taking it to a saddle restorer if you have one in your area. They can work wonders. You might have to accept something other than the original color because I'm not sure they can remove an ink stain, but it's worth a discussion.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you for your kind words. I've gotten better at managing it after lots of burnout phases, but it's a constant struggle. Thank you for the suggestion to look into saddle restorer for the cover! Definitely something to think about it, depending on how much this ink stain bothers me over time. 😅

[@robinortega3279]

"I think it's time to walk away and let it be blotchy" ...wise words! ❤

[@LittleCocoStudio]

haha, thank you! 💗 I wonder how long I can put up with it for. My current thing is telling myself it looks like a knot you mind see in wood. Probably a bit of a stretch, but since I love wood things, it helps me a little with accepting it! 😅

[@robinortega3279]

@@LittleCocoStudio love it! progress, little by little. I love your videos, btw! They're my favorite to watch on Sundays. 🙂

[@joistevens4454]

I have had leather all my life being a horseback rider. I prefer the darker tan. I can tell you the more you mess with leather the worse it will be. Unless you don’t mind darker. I use 100% neetsfoot oil to condition my leather. if you don’t mind it darker, I think you would like that but only use it on the outside because it would stain your pens on the inside!

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Thank you for your advice. I don't mind darker (I look forward to several years from now when it's a caramel brown - at least I hope that's what it'll look like!), but I think you're right about making it worse the more I mess with it. I should have looked up a few videos before diving in, but I was upset and being reactive. 😅 I will look into this neetsfoot oil, thank you for suggesting it! I also have Renapur, but I'm hesitant to use it until I learn more about it!

[@AvivaHadas]

I am trying to accelerate that used look. (That is why I got truly yours done to my TNs) otherwise I don't use them out of fear of ruining them. Similarly, I place holiday stickers & washi in my hobonichi without thought - after the pages are not pristine, I am free to do whatever - including internal monologuing about horrible sticker placement.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

I love your mentality around your TNs and hobonichi! I recently added some stickers onto my upcoming week on my Cousin’s daily pages, and it was a nice mood booster when I’d flip to the day to take notes. Haha at “internal monologuing”. I’m very familiar with this. 😅

[@EdetteGVlog]

Hi Alison this is Rita I'm watching now your new upload.

[@LittleCocoStudio]

Hi, Rita! 👋 Thanks so much for watching! 😍🥰💗

[@AvivaHadas]

Professional procrastinator... usually for no reason, other than I don't want to do the task. (Also I have been burned in the past by being capable and dependable...) I need to analyze the why's more carefully... (Procrastination brain just said, "later.")

[@fannyku614]

How do you find the Parker 45 fountain pen?

[@LittleCocoStudio]

It’s a lot more confodrable than I thought it’d be since I tend to prefer thicker pens. I was surprised to find out the nib was 14k gold! Next time I will try a wetter ink, because the brown ink I used (Jacques Herbin) was a brand recommended by Wonder Pens as being safe for older pens, but I find it a bit dry to write with!