My Girlfriend Accepted A Proposal From Her Friend But Still Wants Our Relationship r/Relationships

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I feel like this sums up Story 1 perfectly: "Beauty fades, dumb is forever."

[@floraposteschild4184]

Hee hee! True!

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

True beauty never fades. And people can learn to be less stupid. Most just never try to improve themselves in any real capacity.

[@symonsan]

​@@jaymevosburgh3660And, what do you mean with true beauty?

[@Ax-xo4ux]

@@symonsanI’m going to assume it’s being a good person or having a good personality

[@kitkakitteh]

I feel like that sums up both stories. Where are these guys finding these immature, broken girlfriends? I'd keep them long enough to get therapy, just to find out wtf is truly wrong with them. 😂

[@Ars-Nova258]

Story1: “I see you’re all perfect and Don know what TRUE LOVE is.” I see you’re a doormat who can’t establish and maintain boundaries.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Nothing says “I’m fully secure in my views” like shooting the messenger(s). In this case, methinks OP doth protest WAY too much. 😂

[@sagesaria]

Seriously. My dude, your "true love" saw absolutely nothing wrong with legally marrying another man and glossed over all the important things that contract GIVES another man.

[@saldiven2009]

His girlfriend apparently doesn't know what "TRUE LOVE" is, either.

[@anthonym6119]

This guy deserves everything he gets

[@Spgzay]

​@@anthonym6119no he doesn't just cause someone might be a little slow it doesn't mean he deserves to be hurt no innocent person deserves that

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1 guy is trying so hard to maintain a fantasy because he needs it to be real. He's in for a rude awakening one of these days.

[@jamestomlin5525]

Hope she cheats on him, dude is a joke

[@VorenusXIII]

OP reached simping levels that shouldn't be possible.

[@jbgage147]

I don’t know. OP demonstrated his ability to squeeze his eyes shut really really hard. The light of day will never break through. His wife could be in a g-bang, and he’d say she just loves charity events.

[@Plaprad]

@@jbgage147 "C'mon guys, she raised over $500 for charity. It's obvious you don't know what TRUE LOVE is!"

[@hollowkid97]

But she's a 9/10 guys

[@cassieosbourne7666]

‘If I dumped her it wouldn’t solve anything’ …yes it would. You could have a partner who won’t nearly marry someone else to ‘be nice’. If he thinks this is the end of it or this kind of situation won’t happen again then he’s dreaming

[@malayshamorgan3918]

Millions of women in the world and he chose the one who has no respect for him

[@WoodlandT]

Op’s girlfriend isn’t naive, Op is. The reason she hasn’t “learned” to say no to all the people lavishing attention on her is because she doesn’t want it to stop. She knows exactly what she’s doing and sooner or later Op will find out the hard way. They both seem shallow and comfortable being willfully blind to their true motivations. Maybe they’re perfect for each other

[@pippo17173]

As much as GF's friend is very horrible, I do feel sorry for the guy as when he said his life is falling apart and his gf cheated on him, You can tell he broke down and can't think straight.

[@marshawargo7238]

And Then, she wanted to keep his ring?!?!?!😲🤪😵‍💫🥴 She Crazy!!!

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Yep, they’re both naive idiots, and the only way OP gonna learn anything is to learn the hard way when everything falls apart. After all, it’s the only way to teach an idiot.

[@ShiNijuuAKL]

she did basically say no to OP when she made clear she was going to do the thing even if he didn't want to

[@calebhoffman6368]

No sympathy for the first OP. She knew she didn’t need to take you seriously cause she knew you would come back after a single day

[@calebhoffman6368]

“I love her to much to dump her.” People like this have no self respect or esteem. I don’t know how people get so invested/dependent on another person to the point that betrayal isn’t a big deal to them

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@calebhoffman6368 OP is a cu*k. He'll be sitting in the corner while his wife is getting railed by her boyfriend.

[@jamestomlin5525]

Dude is a joke, I hope nothing but the worst for this 'man'

[@momo382844]

This freaking idiot proposed! I stopped reading after that.

[@Bunny_Gee]

@@calebhoffman6368ding ding ding

[@madambutterfly1997]

I disagree dumping her would give her the opportunity to grow up some more. The realization that she lost something good because she's too stupid to say no that's an eye-opener

[@symonsan]

So... you do agree.

[@abm5119]

Serisously. dumping her would solve Quite a bit and not just for her. OP needs to learn some self respect. This "She's a 9, I'm a 7, I can't do better than her" bs. It's a terrible way to think about yourself.

[@Plaprad]

@@symonsan I think they missed a comma in there. They seem to be saying they disagree that dumping her would not fix anything.

[@velkoz6396]

This would indeed give her the opportunity to grow up some more but it's very unlikely that she will not seize it because remember. in order to mature, one has to be open to the idea that they are the problem or a part of it which will never be the case for narcissists who are narrow minded. Dumping her is of cours the solution for him as for hers, she will just find another sucker.

[@AmukaAkuma]

Also, she is a 9.5 out of 10. She will not feel the consequences of her poor choices till she hits the wall. There will always be a $imp to pick up after her, primary evidence, OP.

[@josiemorgan6567]

After 8 years together you know if you want that person for a spouse. It shouldn't take a proposal from another person to force your hand into a long engagement. This relationship is not a match.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

That’s what I thought…

[@jillimi]

Right. But OP is one of the dumbest/more stupid OPs that I have ever read (or listen).

[@velkoz6396]

This is not a relationship, this is a relationshit.

[@squeakybb]

Thats such a good point, would he have even proposed if the guy didn’t show up.

[@pippo17173]

The gf's dad really is the only one who saw threw this and I feel so sorry for him because that alone tells me that his marrige is horrible since then.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 2: that gf needs real help. The whole thing is so incredibly abnormal. I’m worried that OP doesn’t realize what a big deal it actually is

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

As soon as he said it was forks and spoons I was laughing. When the whole thing came out I was laughing more. I expect people on Reddit to overreact and say "dump her" but USUALLY the people on KZbin are a little more moderate in their reactions. Saying a woman who does something quirky needs help, blah blah blah, is blowing the whole thing out of proportion. This was right after a shut down and before another one - people were going crazy, in general, locked down.

[@melissaisloud7404]

Both of the women in these two stories are mentally unstable.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Right!? Like where is their sense of reality? So weird

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

It is frightening 😅

[@GiordanDiodato]

the second one is more understandable. I hate washing dishes too. though I do agree that she blew up over nothing

[@noneedtoknow07]

Unstable or Challenged?

[@LovestarVGC]

@@GiordanDiodatodo you hate dishes enough to hide them in a backpack until you can trick your partner into washing them? That woman is unhinged

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Well, story 1 OP is either going to have a miserable life or a quick divorce. She manipulated him and he is naive.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Well, OP is going to have a miserable life either way. Whether they stay together or break up. And while I won't say OP deserves it all(1 because I feel I'm blaming the victim if I do so and I don't wanna victim blame anyone and 2 because I'll always believe no one deserves to be cheated on or abused, even if they're acting like doormats), I honestly don't blame those who do and I just can't help but shake my head in sadness and frustration. (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠) But I guess some people will just have to learn the hard way.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 1: He had better hope her father lives for a good long time if he actually goes through with it. Otherwise, he will have put his neck in a noose and have no one that will actually loosen it. Her mother is as stupid as she is. Of course, desperate is as desperate deserves.

[@nickdiggerz]

The OP is so pathetic and desperately stupid that, at this point, he deserves everything he gets if he marries her.

[@DakshaiRanger]

The girlfriend 100% inherited her mother's stupidity

[@WuzzyBlu92]

That father is surrounded by idiots. He's the only one I have sympathy for.

[@ozbelltemp]

Story 2: He is in for a rude awakening. She didn't want to wash the dishes, so she hid them and forced him to wash them. When confronted, she lied and escalated. Then disappeared for 2 days, came home and they laughed it off. She was able to justify doing that to someone she, supposedly, wants to be with for the rest of her life.

[@tallyp.7643]

Yeah, if she hates dishes that damned much, how about they just trade off another chore? Or she can waste her money on those disposable plates and plastic til she gets tired of blowing her money on the heavy duty stuff and takes up washing again (I cringe at the waste element, but some folks need their wallet to take a hit before they realize they're being childish). She went for the most bizarre, extreme idea. Part of me wonders if she's trying another version of weaponized incompetence, trying to pawn more responsibility on OP gradually, and dishes were a test run. But there's been a can of worms opened here: OP had to resort to a camera to figure out what was going on, her disappearing act, "laughing it off"... b.s. on the last one. She's probably paranoid and playing nice. I doubt they'll last much longer as a couple. Wonder what other chores she hates and will go to extremes to get out of (and how). Edit: Okay, she does laundry, he does dishes now. Why TF did she NOT ask to do that sooner?!

[@sagesaria]

Yeah, the answer here is communication, not, yes I'm gonna say it, borderline gaslighting.

[@noandyesandupanddown5905]

She sounds like someone who had suuuuper strikt parents who would rip her a new one if she forgot to wash something and who also invalidade her feelings. Maybe she even got in trouble for speaking up. Now she despises washing dishes. She also lashes out as a defense mechnism. She sound like someone with some form of childhood trauma. She needs therapie and to learn that it is ok to make mistakes and that her thoughts and feelings are valid. OPs girlfriend sounds super anxious and defensive. She was so anxious that it took her days to adress her dislike of doing the dishes. I think it comes from severe fear of rejection and severe fear of making other people angry and getting in trouble. She needs therapy.

[@RaspberryHugs]

As someone who was raised by an abusive parent and later went into an abusive relationships. I'm hyper vigilant and can spot the warning signs before they even really start. You're reaching. This is poor communication. Nothing more.

[@ozbelltemp]

@@RaspberryHugs as someone who has to deal with child diddlers and their families, I can't tell you how many times I've heard the, "It happened to me, so I'm hyper vigilant" speech. Those are the people who are attracted to what they grew up with and have a blind spot when it comes to their own choices. They usually project it onto their friends partners though

[@MysticalBlueRse]

Did anyone in the comments of Story 1 note that OP’s girlfriend is infantilizing a grown man because he’s disabled? She’s being extremely ableist, just because she’s being sweet and kind doesn’t change the fact it’s ableist to think he can’t have a “real relationship” because of his disability

[@justabunneh6490]

They way they talked about him, I assumed at first he was MENTALLY disabled, not physically...

[@MysticalBlueRse]

@@justabunneh6490 that’s what I thought too, because otherwise why would anyone play pretend wedding for adults (outside of specific reasons to protect one party; two people marrying because one or both are homosexual and this marriage keeps them safe - for example). But no, man was a full on soldier and it doesn’t sound like his injuries caused him to have any severe brain damage that effects his cognitive abilities or reasoning. But we’re still going to treat him like he’s an adult with the mental capacities of a five year old?

[@wmdkitty]

Yes, thank you!

[@maximillian1109]

Both of them are extremely abelist. Her for thinking this is in any way a favour the guy, and OP for comments such as "I dont think its romantic because he is in a wheelchair and jas burns", as if that matters! Then again, he thinks his relationship is "true love" because his gf is hot so...

[@cathybaldry7822]

Totally. She is not long term relationship material either. She is not an adult and not capable of making adult decisions

[@zard5930]

Story 1: Oh dear... He has such a bad self image that he idolises her to a unhealthy degree. She disrespects him either by being too naive or careless or by intent and he just lets her. Poor dude.

[@hugoumero9723]

he is just horrible as some guy dad from cheating stories

[@bellasmom2597]

He only cares about loos and doesn't realize she is a 0

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

​@@bellasmom2597Seriously 😂 He sounds like a massive sucker after that update. A very pathetic one at that. Plus the fact that he sounds like a toxic jealous asshole to top it all off. He threatened the guy in a wheelchair rather than deal with the actual issue, his partner.

[@jedimasters1462]

He's so deep in her fog that he can't see what's in front of his face. She probably only "canceled" the wedding to the friend because her dad probably threatened to take away her inheritance or something so she's gaslighting both op and her dad to hide that she's still going to do it. She has also convinced op that he's not good enough to get someone else.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@jedimasters1462 I know. It's really sad to see someone who's either so lost in the fog or who's got so little self-love and self-worth that they'll literally settle for anything if that means they can avoid dying alone. (⁠╥_╥⁠)

[@HobieInTheBox]

Story 1: 9:07 My sympathy GONE. OP has major insecurities that he's either ignoring or in denial about. You can always have a new relationship. It's your choice to stay with a red flag. But it's dumb to bring superficial numbers into this. Story 2: That is so annoying. Definitely rose coloured glasses imo. Wtf?

[@midnightblue1975]

He was so close to Getting It and getting out of her vortex of crazy. ‘Hey champ, you’ve been together for eight years and she’s marrying some random guy instead of you. Why are you still there?’

[@midnightblue1975]

Also it seems she wanted to marry the other bloke partly for attention? She was expecting the media to come? What in the cluster B???

[@bhart3321]

Simps gonna simp. It's psych 101, you can't change someone they have to want to change & these two don't want to be better & it's gonna end in tragedy. He's inevitably gonna end up just like that "disabled" friend.

[@roarkkariyama]

He’s so pathetic that I can’t feel bad for him. He deserves whatever results from his actions. What a spineless simp and doormat. I legit got mad and had to pause it for a bit to calm down.

[@DakshaiRanger]

​@@midnightblue1975DING! DING! DING! You get it

[@locusxe1411]

Story 1 is a entire cluster F. Whatever happens to Op now (and I’m not sorry to say this) he deserves it. Your girlfriend planned a while “fake” marriage with this guy that was gonna have legal documents involved and everything. Her mom is just as bad too for trying to defend her. The dad is a great dad for telling her how stupid she was being. But Op… he lost all respect after he made that update. Him saying she’s a 9.5 and he’s a 7 and saying others don’t know what true love is because the comments called him out for being stupid is crazy. Later in we’re gonna here a story from him titled something like “My wife has married her disabled friend behind my back. What should I do?”

[@sorachitheeggo4440]

nah, next story will be "My wife slept with so and so to make them feel better, what should I do?" She had no consequences for this f-up but a bit of berating, but now everything is all good :). I expect it to escalate

[@dementesf]

He said he can't do better. I can think of at least 3 billion women who would not accept a marriage proposal from another guy and demand BF to be ok with it.

[@ynmonroe]

​@@dementesf Not with his mindset. Honestly, he was freaking out and being aggressive towards the "friend" while ignoring the BS from the GF because she's a "9.5"? He was basically willing to grovel because of how she looks when she cared nothing about how he felt about this? Nope. Dude is not a catch for anyone, not even himself at this stage. Maybe once he gains some emotional maturity and self confidence...one day.

[@jmhaces]

I especially likd that bit about how his GF is basically Jesus because she gives money to the homeless.

[@johnowen9349]

@@ynmonroe One day will never come, I assure you.

[@PianeDiane]

just looking at the title, i already know this one is going to be a doozy

[@Chaoticbunnii]

Literally what I said!

[@politereminder6284]

Heeeheehee! I think Mark is influencing us all. Took the words right out of my mouth 😁

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Less than two minutes in and that’s a nope from me. She accepted a proposal from another man. Unless you’re poly, that’s her CHEATING. It doesn’t matter if it’s a non-sexual relationship, it’s an emotional one. “She made it clear a) I’m not going to change her mind but b) she still wants to be with me.” Filed under: How nice for her, but that ain’t the way it works, sweetheart. You can’t start a monogamous relationship, unilaterally open up your side, and force your partner to go along with it. OP, I get you’re a little mindeffed right now, but you and your gf are incompatible and it’s probably best that you let her go off with her “friend” and you go find someone you are more compatible with. Separately, if that wasn’t clear, lol. ETA: She “called your bluff”? So she’s willing to lose you to keep him (or she knew you were lying). Either way, she doesn’t care about your feelings. Man up and dump her, and this time stick to it. It hurts like hell, but so does slowly losing a piece of yourself and dying inside every day watching the person you love (at the very least) emotionally cheat. I don’t care if she dropped the whole thing. *She didn’t care about your feelings, didn’t care about her family’s feelings, she made a snap commitment as a part of your couple without consulting you and refused to listen when you disagreed.* If this is how she makes decisions (impulsively, uncaring about your feelings and won’t listen or back down even under threat of losing you), this is not someone you should be making life decisions with. And that’s even IF she’s telling the truth about breaking it off. You…proposed to her??! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Well, the Reddit community warned you and you refused to listen. I wouldn’t recommend coming back here WHEN your relationship goes to shit unless you like being told “I told you so you effing idiot.” Or as my uncle used to say, “if you fall and break both legs after I warned you to settle down, don’t come running to me.” “Her looking great is a sign of the beauty that is inside her.” Wow, are you really that dumb? That is not a direct correlation: Some of the most beautiful people I know are terrible people. But whatevs dude, you’ve clearly made up your mind despite thousands of people telling you to run. And yes, actually. As someone remarried now for going on twenty years, I do know what true love is - and what it isn’t.

[@Commenter839]

Fr. OP is looking past a burning red flag solely because she's hot. What a simp

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Story 1: Man's so in the fog he doesn't see the red his 'true love' is covered in....

[@poetryqn]

Story 1: I'm not even half way in and want to bang my head against the wall in frustration at the STUPIDITY of this whole scenario. WTF doesn't *begin* to address the cluster F this is.

[@gamemaster9461]

He's just f stupid, living in his fantasy

[@Ospyro3em]

I remember hearing story 2 a while ago, and I find it rather bizarre- not just her not wanting to do yhe washing up, but the fact that once she got found out she got angry at OP who did nothing wrong, and ran away and hid for a few days. This doesn't sound like normal, healthy behaviour.

[@ShadowDevotion]

Because it isnt healthy at all. Sure, no one likes to wash Dishes, but it needs to be done. But if it truly gets to this Point, wouldnt it be better to get a Dishwasher? There has to be more, not just that. Its also pretty manipulating. Getting angry, running away and Silent Treatment .. and then everything is forgiven and forgotten.

[@Ospyro3em]

@ShadowDevotion I know right? That's the part of the story that bugs me the most- when confronted, rather than tell OP what was going on, she gets angry, bricks him out and runs off like a coward, all the while making it look like something HE had done wrong. She's very immature and manipulative. What's she going to do later in life when she's faced with a task she doesn't want to do?

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@ShadowDevotion depends. she could have very bad anxiety

[@mogulmade]

Reminded me of the story of the girls who used to poop in the sock 🤣🤣🤣. People do crazy things in adult relationships for ridiculous reasons. Smh

[@Ospyro3em]

@mogulmade do you know, that story was the first one that came to mind when hearing this story. Another one who blamed and took it out on OP when they were only concerned.

[@Araraki-Itto1]

The story 1 OP is...something else to say the absolute least. I'll just say this, whatever comes his way, he's got no one to blame but himself.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Fr

[@AZUREPHOENIX777]

I mean, that implies the others in this are blameless, which 100% isn't true. They're all shitbags imo

[@SavagePassion666]

I think if they're both this moronic they deserve each other. I just pity whatever children come out of their mess.

[@tallyp.7643]

I was just shaking my head hearing about how her father was so furious with what she was doing. OP should've asked more questions in front of the parents about what marriage means and all that. This "gesture" also makes me wonder if she wants a "wedding" or a "marriage" in her own future, since she's so dismissive of the legalities of the marriage bond. OP's obsessed with a "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" and doesn't see his own worth... which sadly at the moment doesn't seem to be much, ironically proving his case. He's putting her on a pedestal and he's gonna be destroyed when it topples over.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@tallyp.7643It's concerning that what he's praising her for isn't anything special. Most people will give something to the homeless if they can spare it. And he thinks that popularity and being pretty means that she's a good person. "But you don't understand, she can't say no". But she just did when it was you. Why is it okay for her to value everyone else's outlandish requests but when you have a reasonable boundary she stomps on it without a care for how you feel? And if she's cool with marrying someone outta pity while dating someone else then there isn't much that she won't be willing to do if someone gives her a sad enough sob story.

[@zellagrace445]

Story 1: She can always re-friend the disabled friend on Facebook without OP knowing. She could even sneak away for a courthouse wedding to the disabled friend while OP is working and then later on ‘pretend’ to drop off her signed marriage license to OP. There is no way to trust her again.

[@MsTemptation]

S1:Op must look like the male version of a plain Jane because that girl has him wrapped around her spoiled finger. Plus after his little snarky comment to people who are trying to help him he can go kick rocks. Let him find out for himself just how flaky his fiancé is because that’s the wake-up call he needs.

[@kateemma22]

'Serious question: is your girlfriend a little slow in the head?' the way I laughed.

[@Dina-lc4bt]

That made me laugh too. When Mark said that he had his What The Fuck face on I died.

[@emasters8619]

This question applies to both stories.

[@gerardedison2001]

Story 1: this story reminds me of the lady in South America who was evangelizing to a homeless man and went on to sleep with him in her husbands car! Her husband caught them and beat the guy up. She said she slept with him because God wanted him to feel better. Like WTF!!!! She was sent for a psych evaluation. I think the girl in this story needs one too.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story one dude you don’t have a perfect relationship…..you are being a sucker. You were so broken up you came back the next day? Your girlfriend is cheating on you. Get therapy. Lmbo you proposed? Oh good lord , this op just loves the drama and deserves exactly what he will get.

[@jakeand9020]

Why wouldn't she cheat on him? She obviously doesn't respect him and it's now proven she can get away with anything. What's his response going to be when he does find out? "You don't know what true love is, you all think she's a cheater but she's not, she's just screwing another guy on the side."

[@fuzzylittlespider]

The last story really weirded me out. This grown adult woman was hiding dishes and ran away from home for two days! And worried their partner so much that he thought it might be drug related. YIKES! What other lengths would she go through just hide uncomfortable things from him. That’s the problem, the secrecy and the running away!

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@Sakuraqueen]

Story 2 actually made me laugh out loud so much!! She sounds nuts!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@vanzy01]

Hiding dishes is what my little brother used to do when we were kids. this is a grown ass woman what's her excuse to be acting like this.

[@strangelic4234]

My problem with that story isn't the cutlery hiding but the way she lashed out at op and made him feel terrible because she was embarrased. If that's how she deals with problems, she has some growing up to do.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

​@@strangelic4234Exactly, she also terrible at communication. You're not ready to live with someone if you can't have an adult conversation about wanting to adjust who does what choirs.

[@PeacheIIe]

"She is a 9.5 and I'm only a 7. I would never be able to do better" All sympathy I had for OP is gone. They deserve each other.

[@madambutterfly1997]

A five-year-old can communicate that they don't want something she's a grown woman and refuses to communicate that she doesn't like doing the dishes because it meeting the truth is embarrassing for her this is absolutely pathetic

[@aarongascho4817]

yeah plus all the lying and running away for multiple days when confronted no thanks

[@AmukaAkuma]

Yeah, Imagine having real commitments with this woman, mortgage, kids, etc. At any point she can be triggered and blow up everything. Her lying and gaslighting is the worst though, can quickly turn into false accusations. If I was OP I would keep those cameras up.

[@vanzy01]

He needs to get her life together.

[@maximillian1109]

It is called being autistic, luv. ;) Not saying the gf has that specifically, but her behaviour reminds me a lot of someone with anxiety and/or autism who has not yet learned how to face difficult situations. I was 100% doing stuff like this as a teen, and still need to actively make sure I communicate my needs to people instead of just shutting down and trying to "solve" it on my own.

[@Azulakayes]

She is a freaking human...we arent all perfect robots. The issue has been solved by communication so what are you still on about? The lengths shame can go to are great. Therapy and compassion is what is needed.

[@birdsofsantafe9824]

Story 1: OP apparently doesnt know what true love is either. He just got conned by a cheater.

[@clarabp2613]

Story 1: She is such a good person she not only considered but actually agreed marrying to other person disregarding her bf and their 8 y.o relationship and after everything explotes she just erased this disabled guy who was her best friend like she is throwing away a t shirt. Edit: erased half a sentence.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

I'm calling "sunk cost fallacy" along with really low self-esteem. This won't be the only time she pulls this crap.

[@tallyp.7643]

Yeah, I heard this story a couple times now, but that really hit me this time around. All that drama and "concern" over his well being and then she deletes contact info and pretends nothing happened? So if her friend ends up offing-himself or in the hospital on watch, what will she do then? She is an attention-seeker and a half (especially after talking about how the press might see the story b/c friend was a soldier). She wanted accolades for doing something for this guy, and now that she can't do it without causing problems, she drops him by the wayside? She does everything for herself. OP is gonna be in for a miserable ride, but he's been well-trained to be low-key miserable and not see it, it seems.

[@debbiey9452]

I love how some of these stories make my effed up life not seem so bad.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? I listen to these stories just to remind myself that in general, I’m in a pretty decent place in my life. Sure, some days suck, but nothing has ever approached some of this insanity. Excuse me while I knock on every piece of wood in sight. 😂

[@Rosy345c]

Story 1: and OP calling his relationship "True Love" 😂 Let's face it, OP has many insecurity issues and it's letting them cloud his judgement because he feels "he will never get something better than her" which is not true at all. Better kick her to the curve and find someone who TRULY values him and respects their relationship, after he's done putting himself down and seen his self worth.

[@hugoumero9723]

or maybe abused her at some point

[@Rosy345c]

wtf is this comment?

[@izba5747]

Second story starts like an old fairy tale, when someone is told not enter certain room in a big mansion. But ends in a weird way.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Had a long arse overnight shift. Grateful to have Mark read me some juicy stories before sleep. Hope all is well. Blessed be to all

[@carolroberts4614]

Hope you have a good sleep! My daughter works nights too, but as we're in the UK, she'll be up and doing now! Nights are hard.

[@luvondarox]

Oof. I hope you have a good, solid sleep. Some night shifts are okay, others absolutely obliterate to the soul.

[@Obiwantuan]

Story 1: The relationship was so great for 8 years that she wants to marry someone else LOL.

[@Truffles563]

8 years and he still keeps her at just gf status, lol. Both aren't right for each other. If the relationship was so great and perfect, then he would've already proposed himself. It doesn't take that long to know if a man wants to marry her or not.

[@TheArmyOfGoats]

Story 2 has inspired me.. I hate doing laundry… now I need to start hiding clothes around the house

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@hrobert2338]

First OP is in for a rude awakening one day. It took her father tearing into her to get her to back off from marrying her friend. Not OP, the person she supposedly loves and wants to be with being uncomfortable with it. OP says the commenters don't know what true love is, I think he doesn't realize he is in a one-sided relationship

[@tallyp.7643]

Story 1: When OP spends the 2nd update describing how good a person she is and all she does, was anyone else here thinking "Manic Pixie Dream Girl," or was it just me? An impossibly good, attractive, free-spirited person, overly-helpful, lives according to her own rules and thinks nothing can go wrong... the stuff just kept adding up. Probably the only thing that doesn't fit the trope is she's helping everyone else with what they want or need, but not helping OP become a better version of himself. I'm cringing just reading about how big a pedestal he's putting her on while he beats himself up.

[@madambutterfly1997]

If they are going to be marrying in a legal capacity you need to break up with her and go find somebody else now

[@kemonono]

yeah how dumb is OP for thinking this is some innocent or act or kindness IT'S NOT, SHE'S MARRYING ANOTHER PERSON AND WANTS HIM TO BE OKAY WITH IT?!?? lmao

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: Can't wait to see OP come back with an update saying his relationship fell apart hard after the "long engagement."

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

I just got back from checking Reddit it was posted over 10 years ago and there's no further update in fact the account was deleted but the post are still up with his account name.

[@hugoumero9723]

@@BIGEAGLEDUDE or maybe he ended up dumped her

[@piranhaplantX]

​@@aprile5209A good chance that, if he was to post at all. It would probably be under a different account and make little to no reference to this situation. But would instead paint himself as "just unlucky" and say it "came out of nowhere" assuming the story was genuine.

[@Mglay556]

Story 1: tell me you have no self-esteem without telling me you have no self-esteem. Like wow. I feel for Op but unfortunately right now his head is too far up his ass. He going to realize how much she actually sucks 10 years from now.

[@jamestomlin5525]

Nah, no sympathy for this pathetic guy. He gets what he gets

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@cmsxcb]

Love how OP asks for advice and then goes on the attack when he's given advice he doesn't like. TBH - these two deserve each other. May they grow old and miserable together. They better have a kid soon - they both need somebody more mature to keep them alive.

[@flavialobato6098]

oh god no those poor kids that’d be a nightmare situation

[@jamestomlin5525]

Yep, wish nothing but the worst for this pathetic excuse for a guy

[@tiawheeler1153]

Lord, no! I hope that they don't subject some unwitting child to their foolishness!

[@akl2k7]

Unfortunately, the kid will be so obviously not his, but for some reason he'll stay with her, because "true love".

[@madambutterfly1997]

This is one of those instances where you get back at her by keeping a whole bunch of Secrets and when she starts asking you questions you snap back at her and hit her with her own words every relationship has secrets

[@yque4733]

Story #1: OP is SIMPly amazing. Story #2: This situation reminded me if the other reddit story where the OP discovered his gf was using his socks to wipe her ass.

[@Dina-lc4bt]

😮 what!?! She used socks? 🤮

[@yque4733]

@@Dina-lc4bt Yes, HIS used, but clean, gym socks.

[@Dina-lc4bt]

@@yque4733 I have no words.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1- that GF sounds very immature and naive. However, judging by the update, OP sounds pretty immature himself. Neither of them sound ready for marriage.

[@cutekitty1212]

The second story gave me a good chuckle. As for why she did it all I can say is anxiety disorders make dumbass decisions seem rational.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@aprile5209 Yeah, I'd be like, "Therapy. Now. Or I'm so gone."

[@Ruthavecflute]

Yeah, I've got to agree with you there.

[@navi2710]

The last story reminds me of another story where a guys socks kept going missing. Turned out his GF would use his socks to poop in and then throw the socks away.

[@CatLoverX74]

First story is just a big WTF?!!! He proposed to her!!! Dude really put his head on the chopping block 😂

[@TheDarwinProject1]

With the last story, the hiding of the dishes, her reaction to being "caught", & description of her by OP as " an anxious person" screams childhood trauma/maltreatment. That's the kind of behavior of someone who might have experienced physical abuse by a parent if they didn't do the dishes, for example. She definitely has some inner voice punishing her for not doing dishes & another telling her OP would leave/get angry at her for not doing them, even if OP has never been that kind of person, nor put that kind of pressure on her over dishes. I know it's sort of an old story, so hopefully OP's gf was able to get in to see a trauma specialized therapist. I also hate/have trauma associated with doing dishes, as I'm a bit clumsy & the sound metal/glass makes when they drop on steel/ceramic send my fight/flight/etc. into overdrive. I have collapsed next to the sink into a panic attack just trying to do dishes during my last relationship. Also because I'm taller than avg, counters are typically at a height for east coast/shorter ethnicities (especially in the RV I live in now, but it was much easier at my parents' home where they had taller counters put in) with severe lower back & neck pain conditions. After my last relationship ended, I was ok for a while, using plastic & silicone dishes instead of glass/metal, but once I developed the lower back pain it became too difficult. I even tried getting a stool to sit on next to the sink (also have knee pain condition), but the bending over still limits me since I cannot put my legs under the sink to be right up next to it & often have to sit at an angle. My current solution is to use a chunk of my disability payment to purchase environmentally friendly containers & cutlery to get by since I love alone. I have a caregiver, but she's terrible at hand washing & I do not have a dish washer, nor the space to put one in. I'm also unable to cook for similar reasons, so at least microwave meals come with their own "plate/bowl".

[@liandren]

Lol, girlfriend is a genius. 8 years and he was never going to propose, he was happy with status quo. She played him like a fiddle.

[@adawongkennedy6570]

Story 1: I was already thinking that was his reason to be with her, but when he said that she's a 9,5 I had my confirmation that he doesn't care she's dumb as long as she's hot.

[@shirokusanagi3901]

THIS IS PROBABLY THE SADDEST OP I'VE EVER SEEN ON REDDIT

[@BulletTooth504]

Story 1: GF says, "It's just a proposal that I accepted. It's not a big deal." OP takes her back. Fast forward five years and she'll have to explain to him, "It was just a gang bang that I enthusiastically participated in. It's not a big deal."

[@jamestomlin5525]

He was holding the camera Only way that dude would be participating 🤣

[@SassyElfFriend]

"It's just his child inside of me that you'll be raising. It's no big deal!"

[@crisrodriguez5693]

And I can't even see the gang bang as a much worse scenario than the marriage. This is already so batshit it's hard to think of anything worse. If the guy does not get it now, he honestly never will.

[@Lestaticate]

Story 1: OP (after update): “I see you’re all perfect and don’t know what TRUE LOVE IS” Not the point my guy. Let’s see how things go before his now fiancée’s bleeding heart decides to do something drastic without discussion. “I bumped into an old classmate at the local Waffle House who bought me a glass of their questionable orange juice. We had a pleasant conversation when I found out they’re in need of a kidney. They asked for mine because they had no family left, so I’m giving them mine. I know I haven’t seen them since high school, we barely even spoke then, HELL, they could even be lying, but I made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow morning. K, love youuuuuu. Omg, why are you so upset?” EIGHT YEARS of being unable to say “no”. She needs THERAPY, not someone putting a paper towel over a dog turd and pretending the issue isn’t there.

[@bhart3321]

More like we're at a party & this guy stopped another guy from drugging me & when I asked what I could do to repay him he said f**k him so I did. I was just being nice. 🤦 These two shallow morons deserve each other.

[@Pyrieltmj]

They both need therapy. OP is delusional and has such low self esteem he’s willing to marry a human trash fire with a sea of red flags because “she’s a 9.5 and I’m only a 7”

[@cottonsheep1493]

İs it me or op in first story is also a problem just like his stupid gf he almost acted like "i win i win i get my girlfriend not him" op and gf have tons of growing up to do if they get married like this is feel like it will end up as a dissaster

[@kingsevil5255]

"I see you're all perfect and dont know what true live is" -vs- "She's a 9.6 and I'm a 7, I''ll never do better" one of these things is not like the other. Oh well, let OP bump his head.

[@cheyenneburgos4337]

Story 1: his self esteem is so low that’s why she thought she could do this. She knew he would actually never leave her. His words in the last edits make that so clear to have the wedding to prove that he’s the one who’s worth it. Why would she think he’s worth it if he doesn’t think so? Her dad is the only one who is thinking clearly. Hopefully he can talk them into therapy or something.

[@tallyp.7643]

I bet mom heard the word "wedding" and her brain stopped working completely. Ugh. Dad IS the only one here with his head on straight, that's for sure.

[@Kelseyzj]

Story 2- It literally takes 10 seconds to wash and rinse a spoon…. It has to be some kind of rush she gets from hiding the cutlery because it would be so much easier to just wash the number of dishes she was hiding. It wasn’t like she was taking every plate from the meal until it was his turn. Which would still be a red flag. But her excuse would make more sense.

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, and if she finds it boring, she could just put on a podcast or youtube video on her phone (like this). It would make things go faster.

[@blakezummo264]

Damn, this one's hot off the waffle iron! Hope everyone's having a good day/night. Can't wait to have a listen to this one Mark

[@colleens1107]

Story two: I agree with Mark, even if the reason is silly her response is beyond extreme. Like left the house and wouldn’t speak to him because of his very appropriate response to her very odd behavior. This isn’t a normal response to a minor conflict. What will happen when there’s a real issue?

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

S2: So, childish nonsense instead of upfront communication and a compromise? That will bode well for the future /s

[@paden1865able]

Nice to have this to listen to after the Sunday breakfast and clean up is done. Thanks, Mark, much love to you and Poppy!

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta I heard this one before. Regardless if she was trying to do the right thing that is still a slap in the face. If op felt like he was being tested than he should leave. This would solve a lot.

[@THE_CDN]

What a crazy story! The disabled guy knew that his proposal would fxck everything up. The only thing that's good about the situation is that the woman has been exposed. Even her dad saw the insanity of her decision. Maybe OP will finally admit that his girlfriend isn't really his. As far as her never cheating goes, I call B.S. on that; she loves attention.

[@randomusername3873]

Naa. He's already talking about how he needs to prove to her he's worthy to marry her😂

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: so op’s gf was hiding dishes because she hated washing dishes?

[@barbthegreat586]

She's hiding dirty dishes because she hates washing dirty dishes.

[@tallyp.7643]

I could imagine her forgetting some of the dishes in a drawer and going on vacation or a week. Would be a fitting punishment for her to open the drawer to find her clothes and stuff covered in roaches or ants.

[@kaykay8855]

@@barbthegreat586 but didn’t op stated in the comments that she loves making elaborate dishes? I mean I don’t like washing dishes but when you’re cooking you wash the dishes and utensils 🥄 that you used.

[@barbthegreat586]

@@kaykay8855 Many people don't wash after themselves when they cook, they just leave dirty dishes to pile on for somebody else to wash (because they cooked so somebody else must wash up).

[@LadyRubyEye]

If anyone did this to me my first response would be "There's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out"

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: OK after the edit is anyone else give me the impression that OP has really low self-esteem? Especially with him commenting on how he’s like average with a really hot girl and he will never do that do it ever again?

[@randomusername3873]

The low self-esteem has Op

[@ObliviouzRomantic]

I feel so sorry for the first guy. This will only end in tears.

[@Distrunner5k]

First OP sounds like he has massive co-dependent, and self-esteem issues, his now fiancée has shown she doesn't respect their relationship, or him at all, and only cared when he was going to break it off with her.

[@Plaprad]

DIdn't sound like she really cared. Seems more like she decided to drop it for other reasons and happened to be the same day he was "going to break up" with her. Even if he did, she probably wouldn't have noticed after a couple days.

[@dianeessex300]

Story 2 I wonder if OP is used to being ridiculed when she did dumb things growing up. My family was like that. It made it very hard to admit to my sillier mistakes.

[@withlove2963]

A legal marriage is a LEGAL marriage. If it was just something that he wanted to cross off his bucket list (because he feels he doesn't have time, or that it won't happen) then a ceremony would accomplish that.

[@agentzapdos4960]

If one person in a relationship thinks the other is too attractive, rich, talented, or otherwise too good for them, that insecurity will destroy them.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

If people want to be poly, be poly. Date other poly people. Don’t start a monogamous relationship and then get upset that your partner does want to be poly. Maybe she’s after tax benefits or something 😂.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Agree I don't get why people want to stay in a relationship where you are not compatible.

[@Alteusgirl]

or she has good insurrance through her work and they're basically doing this to commit fraud and make him have a good one. that was my first thought on this.

[@HobieInTheBox]

People don't choose to be poly. Polyamory is a sexuality. You can only choose to be in a polyamorous relationship. Plenty of poly people choose to be in monogamous relationships

[@maggpiprime954]

She's not even poly, tho! She's been raised by her mummy to be a benevolent princess, bestowing her presence on others for their happy ever after, her good deed saving the day 🌼🌼🌼🙄

[@ozbelltemp]

​@@HobieInTheBoxpeople do choose to be poly: women choose it so they don't have to be intimate and it creates chaos they crave. Guys choose it because they are either immature or don't see that partner as long-term.

[@dawnstone4424]

I loved Marks “wtf face” comment. I got a case of the giggles picturing it. Then realized I had that same face as I listened.

[@itbesid1566]

For story 1, even ignoring the ‘possible cheating’ angle, the girlfriend has already proven that she’s impulsive and easily manipulated when it comes to making big decisions, as well as unwilling to consult OP until it’s too late. That on its own doesn’t bode well for a relationship. If it doesn’t end with her cheating, it’ll end with her spending them dry, or falling for a life-ruining scam, or letting a dangerous person get to their kids, or God knows what else.

[@TDoughter23]

Story 2 is just cute and adorable. Not the her getting angry, but hiding dirty dishes away all secret like

[@bluemoonslightASMR]

Story 1: 🤦🏻‍♀️ I would give them a little leeway if they were 18-early 20s. Not enough life experience. Late twenties though? No excuse. The moment she accepted I would have been “Congrats, there’s the door” end of.

[@theeunknown2620]

Story1: This was the plot to an episode of the Cleveland Show.

[@One.DeSanctis.]

Story about the ritual around hiding used utensils, flatware and cooking vessels sounds like OP is correct in stating his wife is highly anxious. The behavior is not "weird" per M.N., but pretty standard OCD fare. I am not a doctor. I di suffer from OCD which was diagnosed by more than one doctor. From group therapy, I've heard of some very elaborate and random rituals sufferers partake in to ease the distress of anxiety and panic attacks.

[@DakshaiRanger]

Story 2: oh man. When you read the sentence "We never argue" at the beginning, you know you're in for a hell of a ride

[@juliamiller2299]

For story 1, OP showed his cards to his girlfriend. Instead, He should have told her he was ready to break it up with her over this. Then he should have told her, that instead, he has to start things over with her since she disregarded 8 years of their relationship. It seemed to mean nothing to her, and now it meant nothing to him as well. If she still wanted a relationship with him, they would have to start over. Even though he was previously going to propose to her, that was off the table until he was confident in the relationship again. If she didn't want to agree with him, it was time to end things. She has to realize that actions no matter the reason, have consequences but the way he went about it, she received no consequence for what she did to him. Story 2 The lengths some people go to avoid doing the dishes. Op found a solution even though she seems to create more dirty dishes than he does. As long as he is ok with this arrangement, fine with me.Though I think she should also vacuum and dust the place.

[@areformingamadon]

Story 1: He has been with her for 8 years and not proposed. After the other guy proposed, she accepted, then dropped it, he proposes. My first thought is she thinks he will let her get away with anything. The better plan is to not propose, so she knows she can lose him, and work on the relationship first. Supposedly that can still be done with a long engagement, but there are so many red flags here. Also, she said she blocked the friend, but kept the ring?! HE says it is true love, and maybe it is on his side, but she doesn't respect him or she wouldn't have planned this without at the very least talking to him beforehand.

[@mracula1667]

That last story: OP is a fool for laughing off this vibrant red flag. If she’s willing to lie about little things to save herself a minor inconvenience, image else she’d be willing to lie about.

[@hkburrows]

Story 1: 8 yrs and he never proposed, serves him right. "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it"

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Oh You can already tell those guys going to be writing a saga on R/surviving infidelity. The only sane person in this whole story is dad. OP has a serious self-esteem problem and he stuck her on the largest pedestal He could find.. 🤦‍♂️

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Story 1. Oh my god. Leave her Johnny, leave her.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 she better cut that 💩 out. Immediately immediately. I feel like OP is missing a pretty big red flag. The behavior seems minor but the motivation and principal behind it? Sus on a bus. Similar to the food story a few days ago. Though there OP had communicated several times don't eat off my plate. If this truly is a one off behavior, it may be okay, but I get bad vibes

[@RoseKoneko]

Oh god I have a friend who gets immediate blinders on when in a relationship. Overlooking just about every gigantic red flag then when the relationship ends it’s “how do I keep finding people who are so awful?” I feel bad for the first OP and hope that they don’t have to come back to say she went back to talking to her friend.

[@jestersreign7530]

Story 1 wtf? I've heard lots of reddit stories in relationship advice where people say cuck or simp. But this is the first time I've actually heard one where the person is a literal example of those words. he couldn't even handle being broken up with her for one day. There are people in abusive relationships who have more self-respect than this guy does. This is literally the first time I have ever felt no sympathy for someone.

[@jamestomlin5525]

I mean, I'm into the cuck stuff but this dude is something else entirely, it's not even sad at this point. Kinda mystified

[@jestersreign7530]

@@aprile5209 based on the information I got from the post and his edit. I'd say it's not that she doesn't love him. She quite literally is sheltered stubborn and wildly naive. I truly believe she literally didn't think that the marriage would really matter because she wouldn't be with him physically or emotionally. Given how her father spazzed on her in the update and admitted that he and her mother spoiled her too much. Not to mention how her mother saw absolutely nothing wrong with what she was trying to do. She obviously has not have the real-world sink and yet in her mind. Neither of these two should be in relationships right now. She literally is lucky that she's with the one dude who wouldn't take advantage of her. Because given how he described her and how she worked out that what you was doing wasn't a big deal. I can only call it luck that she hasn't had one manipulative dude show up in her dating history.

[@Pepperjack1986]

Lol at Story 2. I too dislike doing dishes, and used to hide dishes like OP's gf, but I was a kid at the time, and my dad caught on pretty quickly once he realized that dishes and cutlery were missing.

[@AndyyWithAY]

This is pretty old one, I heard this years ago. Your relationship was not "perfect". You missed 8 years of red flags Being attached in anyway is a major deal breaker for me, so it'd be over. No need to post on Reddit or jump through these hoops. I feel like GF is majorly infantilizing this guy because he's disabled. I think he very much knows what he's doing and has every intention to make it a real marriage.

[@One.DeSanctis.]

Oh, he knows. OP says that the GF is a 9.5 in looks. GF is easily played. The disbled military vetran is sure that he can convince the GF to make the marriage real by consumating (sp?) it. The easily played GF's father knows what the military vet is after. That is why he is angry.

[@randomusername3873]

I love how they give a list of blatant red flags and then use them as a reason to stay😂

[@joshuaadkins9820]

Story 1, Op clearly has 0 self respect.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

OPs gonna beat up a cognitively delayed man in a wheelchair ? Jesus H

[@AutumnFire1414]

I remember reading this story long ago. Now that I've heard it again, I'm wondering how things are going now for OP.

[@DakshaiRanger]

Judging from OP1's gf's mother's reaction, I can see where she inherited her brains from

[@lexiearnold529]

How, after eight fecking years has he not asked her to marry him yet? My hubs knew after four months, but only waited a year to propose out of respect to my dad. This girl deserves better than OP

[@akl2k7]

Right? It would be one thing if they didn't believe in marriage, but since they do, they should have figured out if the other person was the one within a couple years. Anything more than five is wasting everybody's time.