My Girlfriend Let Her Ex's Father Badmouth Me To My Face Because I Need To Be Manly r/Relationships

[@toadman5184]

You can't compete with the idealised projection of a dead man. She needs therapy, and the parents probably should let her go, they are keeping her in a state of grief.

[@locusxe1411]

She’s also allowing her self to stay there

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP was the AH for staying in that relationship after the first time he was insulted. Stevie Wonder could see she wasn't over her ex. the fact that OP asked AITA shows he he still has a lot of work he needs to do on himself

[@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets]

*takes deep breath* "Look at me. Breathing. Can your manly son do that? Too manly to breathe?"

[@HarveysGirl-m6e]

Lmfao damn

[@elizahamilton5599]

Got damn😭😭 that would have been brutal!

[@alicewilloughby4318]

OP should only say this if he's sure he can take the father in a fight, because that could easily be when fists start to fly.

[@SolusArmatura]

There are modern tools that are great equalizers.

[@Guesswhoswatching2]

The dad wouldn't have been able to handle that level of manliness.

[@geminiblue]

Story 2 - I've heard this story numerous times & it aggravates me every time. OPs kids CLEARLY dehumanized their mom to the point that they see her not as a person with feelings and wants but as a tireless tool whos only purpose is to never-endingly serve & self sacrifice for THEIR convenience

[@LunaP1]

No thanks to their dad brainwashing them against her.

[@sacrilegedoculus]

Story 1 - But mister, your son died because of a 'manly' car business.

[@ruddiko]

Pppñ 😊😅

[@WhitneyDahlin]

I don't know why people aren't cutting this father some slack. His son is dead. And he sees the world moving on without his son. It's not fair for him to take it out on the new guy obviously. But everyone is making dead kid jokes about his sorrow like is not a big deal. Like he's just some petty Karen being mad. Yeah what he is doing isn't okay. But I know from experience what it feels like when someone you love dies and the world to just move on like they never even existed. Like your world ended when they died. But it seems like everyone else just doesn't care and moves on and forgets about them. Of course you can't expect the world to stop when someone dies. But it feels like it SHOULD stop and it's devastating when it doesn't. And then to see his future daughter-in-law the one person who probably understands and misses him just as much as his parents. Start to move on is f****** hard. Yeah his behavior isn't okay and yeah it's wrong of him to feel resentful. But that's the truth and that's what he's going through right now and I am shocked that everyone both here and on Reddit are so callous.

[@lilywong9672]

​@@WhitneyDahlin Nah.

[@summerwinfry8745]

​@@lilywong9672 you really said that with your whole chest huh I'd be embarrassed and ashamed to publicly show such a lack of empathy. You are so brave.

[@robertx8020]

I bet I can beat your 'manly' son with armwrestling ..don't believe me? Dig him up and find out!

[@MysticEle]

"Look at those hands. You've never done any real work." "My hands have done as much real work as your brain then, apparently." "SWEETIE!" "By the way, while we're on the topic you know what my hands can do? Drive properly."

[@Ayyyitsakira]

Goddamn💀💀really going for the throat huh?😭😭 I'm digging it tho😭

[@johnbradbury8610]

woemn don't respect weakness, and OP should have left the first time she allowed the daddy to disrespect him. NTA for leaving but YTA for staying as long as he did.

[@league-of-shadows]

1: The dad and the gf both need therapy. Good on OP for putting himself first. 2: I’ve heard this one before but I’ll say it again. Big ole womp womp for the kids. Dan divorced her, married another woman and built a life with that woman. This is not OPs problem. Those kids are NOT going to care for OP in her old age that is for sure. And if it was reversed they would not be asking their dad to care for mom. They are just mad they aren’t going to get anything outta dad after he dies because of the new wife and kids. I bet deep down the in laws miss OP as their DIL since this new chick seems to be accelerating his death but aren’t good enough people to realize they owe her a huge apology instead of hassling her. They are keeping grandkids away from OP - they will crack the minute they need free babysitting.

[@GalliaUchiha]

idk why your comment about the first story triggered the thought but... Sooner or later the dead ex's parents are going to get a divorce because the dad and OP's ex start sleeping together. .-. Because those two are never going to get therapy.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@GalliaUchiha I'm kind of shipping them because no one else deserves to deal with that level of toxicity.

[@Draggonny]

I lost a lot of sympathy for OP2 before they even got to the point. If they hated being a stay at home mother so much they shouldn't have had another 3 kids. Once was a mistake, 4 times is a choice. Seems like her kids are now just feeding into her martyr complex.

[@arilu89x]

Welp, she's not ready to move on...why is she still dating his memory instead on moving on? Why would I want to visit? And why is with an "unmanly" man?

[@LovesGaming37]

Story two: typical. The woman, who was thrown away, is still expected to sacrifice herself and her life for the male

[@yupper4030]

And the opposite is also true. The man,who was thrown away, is still expected to sacrifice himself and his life for the woman. People can be real shifty

[@carlrood4457]

My wife cared for her cancer stricken mother every day for months alongside a friend and a hospice nurse. She works overnight and then went to her mother's for several hours. How can three adult kids and a wife not care for someone who can feed themselves, but just needs it cut up?

[@maryjanedodo]

The ex husband wouldn't ever look after his ex wife if the situation was reversed.

[@geminiblue]

The kids wouldn't even have DARED to thought to ask the ex husband 😒😒

[@robertx8020]

I bet even her kids would not lift a finger ..'dad' has them convinced he's a victim

[@hubbachubba1]

So true!

[@dawnnunes3577]

Story 2. Sounds like her children take after her ex and in-laws. The apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree

[@johnbradbury8610]

NTA at all. Op is handling this the best she can. She should have told her kids about the cheating as soon as he asked filed for the divorce but I doubt it would make a difference. The kids are selfish, manipulative AHs who take after their father

[@clockwork3494]

Yeah she's definitely NTA, honestly she should either disown the kids or go lc at least, they seem incredibly ungrateful and it's likely the in laws and their father have poisoned them against her, hence why they're treating her like trash and expecting her to do the heavy loading. It sucks but it is what it is, they seem too sucked into the lies they have likely been fed that they believe her to be the AH here just because she.. _checks notes_ refuses to support her cheating ex spouse? Yikes.

[@yamairad1]

Story 2. These stories have taught me that I should not sacrifice EVERYTHING for my kids. As long as all our needs are met it's OK to be a little selfish. They need to realize that parents are people too. She gave way too much of herself to the point they don't see her as human.

[@nightstarstar1]

Yes! Exactly!

[@srsmedic8285]

Boyfriend should say “ I’m a way better driver than your son .. obviously “

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 2:Sorry OP,But your kids are omega dumb if they think you,An ex have any obligation to "Do it for Dan" (I don't get the reference,But i think it's there,If anyone knows,Do tell),NTA at all Update:People,Only you can choose your family,Nobody else can do that for you

[@falxblade1352]

Do it for dan is essentially another "but faaamily", originating from a reddit story where the OP's family wanted him to give his house to his brother Dan and his family after they kicked him out in the past. They would repeatedly ask him to do so for dan

[@lynnw7155]

Dan has a wife, her parents, and 4 adult children. Why does he need OP? They are divorced; he's not her problem anymore.

[@grumpypants2066]

Manly? Lol they would think im manly then since im a trucker until they find out i like manicures,pedicures , facials and overall just spa days 😂

[@BruinPhD2009]

I was in the Army and combat boots tore my keep all the way up. The solution? A nice pedicure from time to time. Life was better after those pamperings. 😊

[@grumpypants2066]

@@BruinPhD2009 yes, my wife loves when we do those together

[@sarascarpati887]

Can i come along?

[@grumpypants2066]

@@sarascarpati887 definitely lol the more the merrier 🤣

[@NicheGreens]

​@@BruinPhD2009yep. I looked forward to getting back from the field, massage and pedicures never felt as good.

[@MoonlitandPolished]

Story 2: OP’s kids need to go to one of those Break Rooms where they can break stuff to release their anger. It what my cousins did when their dad was dying because cancer doesn’t give a fuck if you’re angry at it. It’s a disease, not anyone’s fault.

[@KCohere33]

Story 2: Those adult “children” are awful.

[@anymous8407]

Story one - tell him real men don’t get taken out cars and say unlike your son I’m walking away

[@adriannam2788]

"Draining you dry but not the bank account too" is wild😂😂😂

[@anotherone1532]

Story 2 freaks me out. I have a kid and it’s obvious that there’s a major flaw in the way those kids were raised

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

OP really dodged a bullet here. Who needs that kind of negativity when you can just… not? Sounds like a smart move for sure. Also, OP hands could steer a car and the late boyfriend’s hands couldn’t, so…

[@joellendocherty9507]

The OP should have said “yes my hands don’t get dirty. That’s because I make enough money as an accountant to pay someone to do those menial jobs”.

[@aly4920]

Story1: Good for OP on dumping the ex. Don't need that drama in your life. Also, we need more Trucker Markee!

[@colleens1107]

Uhhh last story? She’s a gold digger. A woman NOT after the money doesn’t ask her bf for a new car or designer hand bags AND ESPECIALLY doesn’t ask to be on their bfs houses title. This guy ISNT her bf, she wants a goddamn sugar daddy

[@bpmfj5422]

Story 1 - I can only think of Homer Simpson saying "If he was so smart how come he's dead?

[@holyek7892]

WOW. The ex, the mother and the father need to put the pedal to the metal and reunite with the son ASAP.

[@stolman2197]

Last story: OP dodged a major bullet, luckily for other men she's not great at manipulation (or maybe just not that attractive)

[@maxsupernova]

Story 3: Manipulation, thy name is OP's ex.

[@annem7806]

Do not return to that house. GF is a fool to want you exposed to that. Dump her. Youre manly enough to be a good driver. Boom.

[@annem7806]

Kids, OMFG no. He initiated the divorce. He got what he wanted. Your children are GROWN ASS ADULTS. Low contact.

[@annem7806]

Contact elder care and ask for a home evaluation of his care and health.

[@annem7806]

The kids can take him in.

[@annem7806]

Yes, she will be pregnant soon $. She needs a father, not a boyfriend. Bye girl.

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 1:Comparison is the theif of joy. OP,Don't let them steal your joy,NTA Update:Good job,OP. Never let anyone steal your joy with comparison

[@lauracottom7425]

Tell your children that if his present wife doesn’t care, what makes them think you do? You might take off if any of them (children) were ill but no I will not take care of your father. Period. Call adult protective services. Have them go check on the ex. Tell your kids to grow the heck up. Op ask her if she cares about your mental health? Tell her that you care more about your financial health. Those tears were emotional manipulation. Glad you woke up OP.

[@randyl8979]

There is no winning when being compared to a dead bf.

[@RayvenLunaNite]

Wow. As someone with a dead ex, I never compare my spouse to my guardian angel. One, my guardian angel died at 12, and my spouse is 33. You can't compare a man to a boy, and you shouldn't compare any two spouses to each other. It's just gross.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Last story. I have always believed that if your potential life partner makes a huge deal of asking to sign a prenup, then you should proceed with caution.

[@hubbachubba1]

Story 1: My parents were divorced. My Dad got terminal cancer. Not once did we ask Mom to care for him. How ridiculous to ask that of OP. Story 3: Who asks to be put on the deed of a house after dating for a year except for a greedy gold digger? Pathetic.

[@ObsidianFaux]

Still waiting on a parent that has self worth and respect, instead of going “I hope the kids reach out someday, I’ll be here”

[@QuayHollywood]

Markee, I have to say the innuendos you come up with is A1.😂😂

[@ace1gl]

Never compete with a ghost. You will always lose to candy coated memories.

[@mikeremski2102]

Next time you visit, let dad say something, stand up "You're right. I'm done with this relationship. Find your own way home and get out of my house" S3: never an ah to ask for a prenup. Some of the older folk got lucky without, but today? Never leave home without one

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - Well, kids - thoughts and prayers. Perhaps they could direct their ire at the evil stepmommy. SMH......

[@willow8186]

Connor’s not even letting him change his clothes anymore, he’s been wearing the same t-shirt for daaays!!! 😧 Lol 😂

[@mintamitchell5943]

WHAT?!! 😳🤔😂🤣😂

[@rhuonaChanel]

OP breaking up with her might be the ultimate manly move 😂😂😂

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: Dump Her already.... She is still in love with the dead boyfriend, and is nowhere near ready to be dating again.

[@MoistTowelette125]

As I was walking out the door I would’ve said, “Look in the bright side, it’s just one more relationship for you to mourn.” Reading these stories makes me realize that I’m way too much of an AH to be in a relationship. 😂 I’ll keep my negativity to myself and KZbin.

[@davidransom4476]

Story 1: "Right, I'm the guy the IRS sends in to audit the business when a guy that works with his hands lies about his income, just before they get thrown in jail."

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 3:And why are you with her,OP? To the streets she goes and pray she's not pregnant with your child Update:Good job,OP. May you live a good life away from gold ďiggers

[@mikef2811]

She wants to be a realtor in this MARKET. LMAO

[@fandomfan2800]

ewwww you are a horrid person

[@cpaul9269]

S3 - why are you dating a part-time bartender?! WTF do you possibly have in common? She's already asking fro paperwork?! OP - wake TF up. Run.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Both gf and dad need therapy. They are comparing OP (unfavorably, this is called "leveling": cutting someone else down to build someone else up) to someone who can't fail, because he's dead. OP needs to tell gf if she is trying to change him to be more like her dead bf, then this relationship isn't going to work; either she loves him for who he is, or she clings to the ghost of a dead man, but that's not him. You're also not asking that SHE stop seeing the parents; you just don't want to, and that's absolutely fine. S2: "They told me she doesn't care about their dad like they do." Apparently, she does, because, from their own mouths, none of them want to take care of him; they want to shove the responsibilities and financial cost off onto someone else. They are adults, and unlike you, they are his family. They are also old enough to stop expecting you to clean up messes they don't want to deal with. "My responsibilities as a parent was to raise you into functioning, self-sufficient adults, and I've done that. Your responsibilities are just that: yours to manage." Repeat as necessary, "No is a complete sentence," and "just because you don't like my answer doesn't mean it's going to change." Tell the ex-inlaws they can keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves unless they want you sticking your nose in all their business that you disagree with. Ahh, they are leeches, I mean, financially dependent on him. That explains a lot. S3: You've been dating a year, she works part-time, you make significantly more than her, and she's already eyeing your house and wanting you to buy her a car? Nope. NTA, I think most people should get a prenup, but a lot of red flags already for such a young relationship. "I want to live by myself, but still have you provide for me financially cause reasons." Bye, Felicia.

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

Story1: How was she expecting the father to act towards her replacement of his dead child? I wonder how she played this all out in her mind...

[@jakeking3859]

Story 2: I really don't blame the new wife for wanting to have her husband pass away; he sounds like a terrible partner. I feel like the reason her kids have decided she's an AH is because their father taught them that their mother should do literally anything for them. The fact that she 'freaked out' at the suggestion of his parents coming to live with them tells me she treats the new wife *exactly* the same way she treated OP.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

“You got soft hands, boy” I legit burst out laughing. Not so fun fact-during the Cambodian civil war, the Khmer Rouge used hand softness to determine who to kill and who not to. If you wore glasses, you were also killed. Because obviously, soft hands and glasses = intellectual and we don’t need no brains in the new regime.

[@JewelWildmoon]

Without jabbing the father about his son, I'd just say "Your daughter's the one who chose a 'less manly' man, so you can take that up with her." For the girlfriend, I'd just say "You don't hear me complaining about you not being as feminine as I'd like."

[@michealwatts7469]

I would throw that energy back at them: “Yeah I guess your son wasnt man enough to make it out of that wreck” And just walk out. Being an asshole to a guy who cant defend himself isnt fair but being an asshole to parents who want to lord a stranger (their son) over you in such a negative way is just weird man and gross

[@markanthony1004]

The funny think about Markee’s Southernish accent is the fact that his and ours come from the UK so pretty good lol along with great advice

[@aduckofsomesort]

If your hands are always dirty you’ll probably die if you catch the bubonic plague.

[@rcarr2603]

5:56 bingo 😂😂

[@kipdiggs1827]

I was thinking the same thing.

[@littlegreycat]

Even better the kids qualify for FMLA for their Dad but Mom cannot get FMLA for work for an ex.

[@jomc6734]

Story 2: OP doesn't have any responsibility to provide any assistance to her ex-husband. She doesn't owe him anything - not her time, not her money. After the update: OP needs to remind her kids every day that their father divorced her, which ended any obligation she had to him. Story 2: OP needs to realize that his girlfriend is with him for the money. They've been dating for a year or so and she wants to be put on the deed to his house and get her a car, expensive gifts. I'm sensing a digger of gold. But to answer the question, definitely get her to sign a pre-nup. After the update: that woman looks at OP and sees a wallet/ ATM..

[@DrewLSsix]

"Be more manly!" Op: stands up for himself "No! Not like that!!"

[@CircusoftheMoon]

S2: The current wife made the “in sickness and in health” vow, it’s her problem.

[@sylviathimba7289]

0:59 & 2:56 I've missed Markee doing other voices. It feels like it been forever

[@benjie128]

Honestly the best I'd suggest is given how his first wife was not caring for him would be to contact adult services. His health literally makes him dependent on being cared for and the person who signed up for that task (his current wife and parents) failed.

[@SandraCorcoran]

Story 2 - This is Elder Abuse. Find out where to report it in your state. I believe, they can help get him to a safe place, supervise the situation, and/or provide resources.

[@GLoLChibs]

At least OP was able to walk away from the relationship....unlike her ex.

[@shoh1530]

You make me crack up Markee. ❤

[@radsjet]

story 3: i am so glad someone finally said the fact that by not signing a prenup, they are planning for the future breakup themself!, i would also hit them with this:, if i wanted to leave you, i would have done so right now, instead of asking for a prenup afterall, i dont earn anything by leaving you later by asking for a prenup, but seeing your reaction, i think thats the best idea, afterall, apperently your planning to leave me and take half my stuff.

[@tamicablanding]

Story 2- OP should tell the in-laws I thought you wanted me gone. So I am

[@nightstarstar1]

S2- op seems to not only have raised these kids to expect everything from her but also to treat her like garbage. There is absolutely no logic in adult kids expecting their mother to take care of their dad who left her. He not only left her, he did so abruptly and is remarried. How is that supposed to work? Also the new wife is clearly not the self sacrificing type and honestly the care he needs on top of her needing to care for young children and work isn’t reasonable. There really needed to be a nurse, home health aid or hospice to provide the care for him. How was he making so much money but not able to afford this? Something isn’t making sense here. OP needed to just tell her adult kids that she’s not the family slave and to stay out of her face with their BS. If dear old dad’s care is so important to them they need to figure it and stop playing in her face.

[@johnbradbury8610]

story 1, NTA for breaking up, but UTA for getting into this relationship in the first place and a bigger one for not leaving the first time she wanted him to go to her ex-boyfriend's house and let the father insult OP. It took long enough but I'm glad Op finally grew a spine.

[@luismakeup08]

2:42 he should say, so where is your son now??? And then laugh a lot

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: So OP's 4 adult children and 2 adult (former) in laws somehow couldn't manage helping out OP's ex, something that they, together, would have meant they were each putting in 1/6th the work and that "somehow" wasn't enough? Yeah - Nah, it's either that they can't be bothered to do it themselves, which given how often "but familyyyyy" shows up is my guess, *or* the ex's care is *that* bad that 6 grown adults can't handle it which makes it worse that they're trying to throw it all onto OP. Either way don't do it, they can either step up to help the ex themselves if it's the former or all chip in for some kind of hospice/care home if it's the latter.

[@develyntwocentshenderson5739]

this is the other side of the equation. this girl won't stand up for her partner. god help anyone who makes the mistake of getting involved with her

[@mctcurious]

Kudos on that accent improv in story 1😂

[@GBunnyG]

Story 3 - I would also like to spend someone else's money for my mental health.

[@dre1978]

I live with my partner of about a year and he's significantly better off than I (I was in a trade program when we met and am financially recovering from that now) and I would rather step on lava rocks with nails sticking out than ask him for anything designer or help me buy a car. That's 5+ years of dating and/or an engagement level of help

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#1 Clearly she's not ready to move on. It wasn't meant to be.

[@catspawgardner3213]

The next guy will either dump her or force her to choose between him & her dead ex's parents. But she needs therapy if not she'll die alone because no man is like her dead ex.

[@dieitra6184]

I dunno about anyone else, but I love seeing the views and likes go up on content creator's posts while I'm watching a thing lol ✨🖤✨

[@BruinPhD2009]

You're not alone. 😂

[@whitneybennett4857]

My exiting comment to the ex-gf would be, "I hope you and your manly corpse groom have a happy life together. Say hi to him for me the next time you visit his grave."

[@LoFi_Punk]

Story 1: pick any come back that throws the fact their son is dead into the dad's face and that should shut him up pretty quickly. Granted your girlfriend will also leave you most likely but it's worth it in this case

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- you know what's not manly dying!

[@RoseSpirit25]

Story 3: the whole "the man is supposed to provide" thing is as dumb as expecting women to be homemakers just because they're a woman. My bf told me he likes bringing food home from his work for me because it makes him feel like he's providing for me. He doesn’t feel the need to spend loads of money on me, and I don’t expect that from him. The food he gives me is enough for me! (It's gas station food, but they have really good taquitos😂) OP deserves better. That woman is a gold digger.

[@mbyerly9680]

I'm so sick of the standard "America has such awful healthcare." There are all kinds of safety nets from the federal to the local area including Hospice and other care. There's also religious help, etc. All you have to do is ask around or talk to your doctor. Then you have to do the work to contact these people, etc. The Federal Fairy won't wave her wand and make things happen with you doing nothing.

[@darecrise]

There are resources for helpless and neglected adults. The wife and his children can also be liable for neglecting a dependent.

[@josepherhardt164]

28:47 "alone again, naturally ..."

[@jenniferlacey6974]

I feel really bad for OP. My late boyfriend’s mom would never behave like this. It took a bit but I came out as poly. She loves my surviving partners. Pauls mom is my real mom now. My family or origin was cruel about my loss. We spend holidays with mom.

[@sarascarpati887]

I'm sorry, glad you found your chosen family tho

[@anotherone1532]

Good on OP, I would have straight up said at least I figured out how to stay alive

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: this isn’t about what the late boyfriend’s dad is saying and everything to the girlfriend not shutting that crap down

[@catsncrows]

S2 So on top of everything her children are going to punish *their* own children by cutting them off from their grandmother out of spite😑 S3 Okay I hate to drag out gold digger, really hate it, but damn!

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: the late boyfriend’s dad has the most fragile masculinity

[@tgbedini]

"Be more manly?" what's he supposed to do? Tell his host to FO? Punch him in the nose? Call him names? A lifetime ago, I had a couple dates with a widow. She was attractive, pleasant, financially sound, but she wouldn't stop talking about her late husband. She was willing to go to bed with me but I figured, there's gonna be a third party in the room, and you can't compete with a ghost.

[@megadude967]

Story 1 : I wonder if she kept bringing him around their in part to validate her own feelings of OP not being enough? Would explain why she either minimised the insult or outright agreed with them.

[@valgardener7656]

Story 1: "Maybe the dad is right, and I do need to be more manly." I agree with her, OP. You need to be more manly. The song "Walk Like a Man" from Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons will give you some tips on how to do that.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Story 3: Dude, you don't need a prenup, you have nothing that it would protect. You need to discuss YOUR VALUES around money and spending and figure out if you are even compatible. Why does someone you've dated for a year know this much about your income and assets? She's asking for a designer handbag because...she wants a man that will buy her a designer handbag. Walk away if you aren't that guy. And think about if you flash cash to get dates. Something made her think you were okay with a transactional relationship.

[@hanoh2904]

Oh I remember the story in the comments where the ex inlaws were creepy towards the baby

[@tashacooper1753]

Was gonna say that the state is gonna be called on your step mom they could take your dad if your not careful

[@ajjean2720]

“My son was a real man because he NEVER washed his hands” Um…..

[@hvymax]

OP could have told them that at least he's still alive!!!

[@xandan1668]

Not manly enough to stay safe behind the wheel apparently.

[@Buff_Helpy]

I was expecting manly voice markee to say I have a Purdy mouth