My Goodbye to My Best Friend [ Rest in Peace Starlight ]

There is a difference between losing a horse, and losing your first horse. Losing your first horse is losing a connection that you will never have again. October 24.2013 is when my world began to crash down. I got a call that Starlight might be choking. Once the vet got there we discovered that she already had aspiration pneumonia. We tried sulfa tablets but soon discovered that they were not working so we tried 3 of the strongest antibiotics she could have been on. I soon began to pretty much live at the barn since one of them had to be given 3x a day. The first few days were a complete turn around, but then once I thought we were in the clear she took a turn for the worst. She started going downhill and fast so I made the decision to bring her to U of I. Once there the prognosis was not good, her lungs were pretty much filled with fluid and the doctor said that she was unsure if the treatment she needed would work for her. It was at that point I made the heartbreaking decision to put down my best friend, it was at that moment that I realized I would never see my best friend healthy, ever again.I cried and cried, and cried some more just hugging, kissing and holding her head. I looked into her eyes and she knew, she knew what was about to happen, but also, I could see that she was saying thank you and that she was ready. After her necropsy, it was discovered that she had a ruptured abscess in her chest and there was nothing else I could have done for her. Some people will say oh she was old, you gave her a good life blah blah blah but Starlight wasn't just some old horse to me. I was a very chubby, troubled little kid, I always felt alone, attempted suicide 3x, barely spoke a word to anyone, I just hated the world. All that changed when I met Starlight. I finally had someone to trust, someone to talk to and someone that wouldn't judge me. She was my savior, if it wasn't for her I most likely would not be here today. She gave me my confidence through the roof, I would have never had the guts to continue working with Comet if it wasn't for her. I still remember a little promise I made to her 5 years ago "if it ever comes down to it, no matter how good Comet gets, I will never ever sell you, I will give him up first." While I am glad I never got to that point, I still would have held up to that promise. Star wasn't just something to ride for me, she was just my best friend plain and simple. She somehow just always knew when I needed to cry, when I needed a hug, a good ride, she just knew. I will NEVER have a connection with any other horse like the one I had with her, never. She was my heart horse, my best friend, she was the most important thing in my life for 8 years. Everything I do from now on, I'm doing for her, I owe her that much. Rest in peace baby girl, I will always love you, May 22, 1987 - November, 12. 2013.
I do not own the background audio, only my voice obviously.

[@felix-cf8qx]

I never thought I could cry so much at a video :'( R.I.P Starlight, I know this comment is late but im so so sorry for your loss

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@wyattcoutlee3563]

harper I lost my best dog this week & my heart is broken into small pieces,I loved him so much

[@Horsefan900]

For anyone that comments, I'm so thankful for you all. This will be the 7th year that shes been gone and it still hurts. I dont get on here much and it's hard for me to see the comments because I still cry watching this video. Please know the pain of losing a beloved horse is one that is felt by everyone in the horse community. I'm grateful for each and every one of you that come on here to bring comfort to I or share your story ❤

[@ambersmits6112]

Soo hard not too cry. Lost my boy 2 weeks ago 😭

[@Horsefan900]

+Amber Smits I'm very sorry for your loss.

[@afollett6577]

Sept 17 2015 I lost mine

[@loulousadventures-]

Lori Gaynor i lost my best friend in horse and in dog form both almost at yhe same day

[@btsarmy4life664]

Amber Smits im so sorry 4 ur lost, all of u people who lost a pet or someone/somebody

[@tameekawright2620]

Amber Smits sorry you must be sad

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much to anyone who watches and/or comments on this video, It's been 4 months since I lost her and not a day goes by that I don't think of her without breaking into tears. I miss her more than words can describe and she will always be the best friend I've ever had.

[@catbarr924]

Watching videos like this make me realise that one day, I will have to say goodbye to my baby girl and I cry even more :'( I'm so very sorry for your loss. I rode a horse last year and he was very close to my heart. My world shattered when he had to be put down because of colic complications. I'm so very sorry, she was so beautiful

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much.

[@catbarr924]

You're very welcome, very sorry, only just seen your reply. I hope you're okay

[@jessbright1188]

I completely understand. I lost my pony 2 years ago now and I can't think let alone see a picture of her without welling up, I had her for 11 years

[@catbarr924]

I'm so sorry, that must have been so incredibly hard

[@berdeneviljoen7180]

I started to cry! 😢😢

[@artmcgamer1877]

I'M crying so hard... I'm so very sorry

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@artmcgamer1877]

Of course :)

[@maddiem6504]

can't stop watching this because this is exactly how I feel!!

[@carrieburk1567]

I'm so sorry. that you lost your best friend. that happened to me too.

[@laurenokeefe7934]

I'm sorry

[@annalerpold7794]

Rest in peace Starlight❤️ I know you had a good owner⭐️

[@joanneromans7825]

I'm crying so hard I never knew how much I love horses

[@chloerichardson4329]

RIP starlight i am crying while watching this

[@horser8389]

At least you had your best friend for 8y ears. I only had mine for 8 months.

[@mariabykofsky4502]

I know this is years later, but just wanted to let you know that your homage to Starlight is so beautiful, and heart felt. Starlight's spirit will always be with you...RIP Starlight.

[@corrinwisniewski7764]

I can't stop crying, this video is making me think of what I'm gonna do when my horse is gone. Rest in peace starlight!

[@livlioncake8524]

this actually made me cry ;0; im so sorry, i have no words.. this is beautiful and you are so lucky to have shared such an amazing friendship. R.I.P Starlight, have fun chancing stars❤️

[@Horsefan900]

+Liv Lioncake Thank you so much.

[@elenevans93]

RIP Starlight 💔

[@ddpanimationscentral1890]

RIP beautyful pony. You will be mist...

[@veraa1999]

I lost my horse for 8 months ago and I still cry myself to sleep. But now when I look back on all of our memories I smile instead of cry. Stay Strong!

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@pixelbean9242]

she is wating for you and waching over you all the time

[@Kai-pu1gk]

Sorry for your lost at least she's in a better place she will always be in your heart

[@Horsefan900]

Sorry I have not been on in a while but as always thank you everyone for your kind words. I have read every comment on here and each one means so much to me. Thank you so much.

[@carmengrace9282]

Lori im so sorry about your horse but she will rest in peace and once life ends you will see starlight again

[@Horsefan900]

+Tanya churchfield Thank you very much, I'm very sorry for all of your losses as well.

[@Horsefan900]

+eglish equine Thank you so much.

[@pixelbean9242]

I lost my horse but he came to me in my dreems he spoke to me he sed " the wons you loos thay wach over us wach you grow liv your life never giv up"

[@punkjd6886]

Lori Gaynor I know what it's like I started to cry at school when I lost my horse my best friend was the only one to understand how I much my horse meant to me my horse was named Madi but we all called her peppy now all my password have her name in them she was to have a foal but the foal died the next day i was out of school for 2 weeks and then I started to cry in class everybody asked what was wrong with me and I said I lost my horse they all said so what get over it I told the teacher she said that the others probably don't know what it's like to lose your best friend she always listened to me she only came to me she was a once in a life time horse she took care of me if another hose tried to hurt me she kicked them now I have a white spakeled with roan in him too horse he just doesn't compare to peppy

[@millesofietorsdatterjohans4331]

Rest in pease starlight💕💕🐴🐎

[@horsechick5341]

This is what I'm always saying to him I miss my jumping pony

[@antje6336]

So beautifull!💗 i'm crying, i don't know what to say😥

[@phantomcolt]

That was a beautiful tribute to your gorgeous girl.

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@addisongomez9055]

i am crying of sadness

[@ju_wtrs]

You made me cry.. It's such a beautiful homage to your horse! Rest in peace little Starlight

[@kaylag4701]

omg such a heart touching video lori 😭❤

[@jessg2337]

I never know why god gives us a gift and a amazing friend and then when you let your guard down he just yanks it away R.I.P irenedynamoqueen reenie

[@freedomhorse49]

This breaks me.. I cried so hard watching this, its beautiful ❤

[@quincythuma2241]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I never thought I would have to go through this pain but right now I am. A few days ago the horse I had been riding and training since March had had a seizure. I know that my few months with chance is nothing compared to your 8 years but it still hurts so darn much. I've been crying myself to sleep at night because soon I'm gonna have to say goodbye to the dork I've poured my heart and soul into.

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you, I'm very sorry for what you are going through as well. It's a terrible feeling, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep yourself busy and with time, it will get better, not easier, but better because they will help guide you through the dark tunnel.

[@verajudkins5876]

my eyes where watering 45second into the video. R.I.P, Starlight.

[@dinomads___1888]

I cried ! I’m so sorry that you lost your gorgeous horse! But you made the right choice. R.I.P ❤️❤️❤️😣

[@rebeccakollarova8783]

I cried already from your voice. I love the horse and knows how it must have hurt :(

[@sprinkleofsapphie117]

I cried during this its beautiful... im sorry for your loss

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@jordangorman1433]

im am super sorry for your lost R.I.P starlight, i just cryed my eyes out. i went through the same thing when my horse passed away. because he was my best friend and he was always there. im so sorry. i know the pain always comes back. and it still does to me and it has been over a year and i am super sorry. RIP starlight

[@Skyanimalgirl]

This made me cry. I will feel this way when my dog passes away..

[@lucieamber1882]

this made me cry, she's beautiful ❤️

[@elliegreen7966]

This is so sad, you've had such a glow up though omg. RIP Starlight :(

[@alexahagenson-doull2976]

this honestly gave me chills I'm so sorry that you had to lose such an amazing friend such an amazing horse

[@rebiiyouknow3940]

oh my god. I love this Video. i started to cry after the first second and can't stop. I'm so sorry about that what was happend.

[@StarGalaxy-gk4zg]

R.I.P. Starlight, I know she will have a great time up in heaven

[@goldhorses23]

this video... made me cry.. you really loved that horse.. ❤

[@animallover2349]

Every time I watch this I cry

[@linsmann8696]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my mare yesterday, and she was my everything. I hope you find peace in your memories.

[@notmychannel3742]

oh my gosh i feel so bad for you :( I'm crying so hard... i don't want my horse to die but i have to get ready for that, that can happen any day...

[@busterqhorse4226]

This was an awsome memorial to a dear horse. It's been a while now, but, I lost my horse Buster to a 3 year battle with severe founder a month after your loss. I had him for 19 years and felt that the world had come to an end. Fortunately, I found another companion to help fill the void. He is not my old friend, but is a comfort to my soul to care for and love. God bless these creatures for being.

[@lottexkusje]

wow, this made me cry... its so sad to lose your best friend... x

[@neddek4823]

I just can't stop cry. ;___: It's so hard to lost bestfriend and know that you never see him / her never again. I feel so sorry for you.

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you, it has has definitely been the hardest experience of my life so far. I think of her every day and it still hurts, but my other horse keeps me going.

[@sammyhayes883]

Omg this made me cry and I will always cry when i watch this video 😭😭 rip such a wonderful horse

[@kiera.x]

OMG, im in floods of tears right now, I'm so sorry for your loss, MAY STARLIGHT REST IN PEACE

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@saltyfroots9]

I am so so sorry😭this made tears pour from my eyes😓you can hear the sadness and the love in your voice, I can't even describe how I would feel if this happened to Ricky, I've been with him 10 years now and I love him more than life itself and he's not even my horse😭

[@RadjahIsMijnAlles]

I just can't stop cry, this is the worst thing that could happen ..

[@the_superponys9841]

i have tears in my eyes, omg this was so beautiful! i'm really sorry for your horse but you gave him the most beautiful life an horse can get..! keep going on, he will always be in your hart❤

[@ivannap6725]

im so sorry, starlight will always be in our hearts and souls...

[@lauramoller2941]

I watched this. And I can't stop my tears from running down my cheek. I'm so sorry for your loss and I am feeling with you as I recently lost my best friend, too. so this really touched my heart. But now there are more angels looking out for us from up above. rest in peace

[@evastrik7657]

wauw your story and voice make me cry❤

[@queensalvator8219]

I can't watch this Video without crying 😭😭 you are such a strong Person for me and I wish you the best 💕

[@123Iselin]

that's the saddest video on youtube, you're so strong, i couldn't even imagine what it feels like

[@EllaWolfcake]

After two years, i still can cry when i see this video

[@Horsefan900]

+Ella Wolfcake Me too, I still think of her every minute of every day. :'(

[@sofievikene1789]

I just... I have no words ! Im crying so hard right now.. I just want to hug tou, and that horse, that horse looked amaizing

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much

[@RemrovsWorldofArtandAutism]

I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my best friend, my pet parrot Pilaf, who was my best friend for 18 years. I know exactly how you feel. All those questions. My Pilaf was for many years my only friend. He was there when I had nobody else and when I was bullied by so many people. I'm autistic and Pilaf helped me so much with all the challenges I face. I can't wrap my head around that he's not there anymore. Your video was so recognizable to me.

[@loraineheinen1630]

So beautyfull how you can say this i cry😭❤️

[@MsSophia97]

You are the first person that has made me cry from a R.I.P video. I don't know what I am going to do why it's my turn with my baby. I hope that in heaven he will meet you at the gate. God be with you~Sophie

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much. It is definitely the hardest thing we have to go through. But when your time comes, find comfort in knowing you gave them the best you could in their final years.

[@OpaqueTarte]

Wow, ta video m'a beaucoup touchée. En l'espace de quelques minutes j'ai eu l'impression de vous connaître depuis toujours. Tes paroles m'ont percutées, elles ne disent que la vérité sur la relation que tu as pu avoir avec ton cheval, c'est juste magnifique. Tu es très ému, ça m'a fait pleurer. Savoir que tu tenais tant à ce cheval qui t'as, je pense, énormément apporter, savoir que tu l'aimais du plus profond de toi, et que tu le disais comme ton meilleur ami. Je ne trouve pas les mots, je te souhaite un énorme courage, même après plusieurs annees, la cicatrice reste ouverte, les larmes coulent encore et la douleur est toujours présente. Rest in peace Starlight.

[@supermomma7971]

Omg you must have been such a great horse owner.youre horse loves you.becuase you are upset that's proof that you're horse meant so much to you.i am so sorry about you're loss.keep the memories about you're horse and hold onto them forever.he knows that you loved him

[@BrandogComAu]

Oh my goodness...I am in tears...I feel your pain x

[@abbiedancerhorselover7791]

I feel so bad r i p well done it was so hard not to cry I cryed about 1000000 times 💜❤️💛💔😘😍

[@tanja_unso]

This video is so woderful. I'm in pain to hear your voice shattering, started crying. But I really thank you for sharing.

[@MissyGrey]

omg this video is make my cry! i think it´s a wonderful memory! Losing the first horse is not easy... I´m sorry for you... RIP Starlight!

[@stepheventing9414]

I’m here in 2019 but I’m crying so hard

[@caitlinmannix2315]

I am so sorry!😪❤️🌷 I will always believe in you. Your horse will be by your side. Starlight loves more than anything😇 She was your heart and your life I hope you feel better love caitie

[@goto4028]

So sorry RIP Starlight and you will see each other again i promise❤️❤️

[@nataliemosher9368]

Same I have never cryed for a video but that all changed after I wacth it. Im so sorry for your loss

[@bluerebel2038]

My First Pony was called Starlight. I Love the night time because then i can look up to the sky and see the stars. Stars will forever be our connection, so at night i know my starlight is looking down.

[@friedeborg]

Åå im so sorry.. My tears just falling down.. ❤️❤️

[@Nsraia]

I just cant stop my tears. I lost my best friend, my first horse a month ago and we spent 15 years together and this video just exactly shows how I feel! I want to thank you for this beautiful post and i feel so sorry for you! Stay strong for her! ♥

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much. Very sorry for your loss as well.

[@kelsiemoyce6200]

beautiful story it made me cry

[@EllaWolfcake]

I cant stop crying, this is so... -sigh- Stay strong, your horse loves you2

[@Horsefan900]

Thanks so much.

[@perkinss5828]

I cried😭 im soo sorry for your loss😭

[@Llamadelreyy]

I know that feeling. I lost my best friend because of cancer and i cry over her every night. 💔😭

[@hayleyclarke8579]

:( choked me up HUGE. I'm sorry for your loss. I know I'll be going through what you have one day in the future.. my horse Peppy is to me what your Starlight was to you. I'll give him a hug and an extra treat tomorrow in her honor for you Lori. Again. my condolences. Thank-you for reminding me that every moment is precious.

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you very much.

[@sammywebber6974]

Owe my gosh, this video is so beautiful. I am SO sorry for your loss, she looks like an incredible horse that saved you from so much. R.I.P forever and always x

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much, she was definitely the best first horse I could have ever asked for and will always hold a special place in my heart.

[@Horsefan900]

For some reason it wouldn't let me reply directly, but thank you so much Corrin and Rebii.

[@zoe5317]

You made me get teary. My horse passed about a year ago but I still would bring him back if I had one wish. You are an amazing person, and I'm so happy you made this video and got through this horrible time.

[@diinchjendin9817]

it's a beautiful video but now i'm crying.. lost mi best friend in 2006 and will never forget this horror evening, when i came to my horse.. she was lying.. an cold.. i loved her so much, and couldn't say goodbye.. that was the moment when my heart was broken. it takes a lifetime to ease the pain.. and i wish you to best do stay strong..

[@Ellie-yh1fe]

Omg this video has made me cry so much! Your are so brave, you are an inspiration to me after what you have been through...you are an amazing person I wouldn't have been able to cope😭 run.in.peace to your beautiful horse🙌 you have my respect, you done the right thing ❤️

[@TheLauraWheeler]

Beautiful Video. I lost my pony of a lifetime, my best friend (at times only friend) In 2010 after an 8 month battle with a very rare illness. I still cry for her now 4 years later. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her. I say goodnight to her every night before I fall asleep. You will never forget Starlight. I wish I could say the pain will stop but it doesn't it just gets easyer to bare with time. Easyer said than done I know but try to remember all the good times, all the happy times that is how she would want to be remembered. Big ((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you. RIP Starlight, beautiful girl, run free and out of pain. xxx

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much. I say goodnight every night to her too (also have a stuffed horse that looks like her that I sleep with) so you are not alone on that. So sorry for your loss as well, it's the worst feeling any equestrian can imagine.

[@billybrown6236]

She is now in a good place not suffering and she will be waiting for you to join her she also thanks you for being a good friend to her and doing everything you could to save her

[@Abbeyrider98]

I started crying half way through it, I know it's really hard to lose your first horse, the horse you trust your life too. I had that horse my soul mate but the most worst thing about it is that I didn't get to say goodbye because she had a heart attack when I was riding her at pony club and she basically died instantly. I love your story it's really nice and sad, just remember that your horse will always be in your heart. R.I.P Starlight, R.I.P Abbey.

[@jorgfischer174]

OMG I know I'm very late, but this is so sad! I can't stop crying!!!! I know it's 4 years ago but it's still bad!!! RIP Starlight.... 😭

[@theabandonhorrortruth2631]

I'm so sorry r.i.p ur lovely horse😭

[@carmengrace9282]

Rest in peace starlight lori will always love you rip :(

[@izzyaris7802]

Rip starlight, heart breaking video x😭

[@Horsefan900]

Thank you so much Laura, I'm so sorry for your loss as well.

[@zoooze9865]

WOW i just crying all over the video :Dso wonderfull:D good luck for your way

[@hayleyrogers2467]

1:22 I burst into tears. I'm so sorry x

[@elliem1350]

I'm so sorry for what happened and I no its hard to say goodbye to a friend you've known for years but at leat you done what was best for your horse and I bet your horse would be thanking you for what you done for her

[@Horsefan900]

+Ellie M Thank you very much.

[@natczo_02]

This is first video that have ever made me cry so hard. I don't know what to say. Rest in peace Starlight💔

[@zoecampbell9661]

I'm crying watching this

[@slipnwhip1679]

I'm crying right now I'm so sorry